Hooked
by surfergal23
Summary: "Passion is all but soft, it's not tender, it is violence to which you get Hooked by pleasure." From the moment he first saw her, Kendall Knight was Hooked. Friendship/Romance/Family KendallxOC
1. Beginnings

**This is my brand new story, Hooked. Its gonna be a good one, and I think you guys will like it alot :) REVIEW. And make sure to chekc out Making Things Right!  
**_Chapter One: Arrival_

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HOOKED

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"Are we there yet?" nine year old Katie Knight asked from the back seat of the car. Kimberly Knight sighed, getting very impatient with her daughter, as Kendall let out a small chuckle. Katie had been asking if they were there yet every five minutes—literally. Kendall could tell his mother was starting to get annoyed, especially since she was trying to concentrate, driving nervously through all the snow and slippery ice Minnesota had given them as an early Christmas present this fine December 21st.

"Almost, sweetheart," Mrs. Knight said impatiently, clutching her scarf closer to her neck, one hand laid flush against the bottom of the steering wheel. Kendall returned his gaze out to the window, looking at how the white snow fell perfectly upon the firs and other trees that lined the interstate so flawlessly. He re-fastened the earphone of his MP3 player into his left ear and leaned more against the door, looking up at the grey sky with sad, green eyes. He began to think about what this Christmas meant to him. The first Christmas without his father. He sighed in deep and with a quick movement of his thumb turned up the volume more to block out the horrible thoughts, before tears welled up.

"Kendall?" Mrs. Knight asked concerned, allowing her gaze to fall back to her son and daughter. He had barely said a word, or even made a noise since their descent from Southern Minnesota three hours ago. She quickly saw the distraught, upset look on her son's face and sighed deeply. She knew he was thinking about her late husband. Kristopher Knight had died not even a year ago in car accident on the way home from work, due to a patch of black ice. It explained why Mrs. Knight was so tense in the car, especially on this day. Kendall ignored his mother's notion to him and continued to block out his thoughts with loud, obnoxious rock music.

"Kendall," his mother said even more loudly, trying to get his attention. Kendall still continued his gaze out the window, when he felt a sharp punch from his little sister. He turned to her with a surprised face, taking his ear buds which screamed with music from his ears with an annoyed look on his face.

"What was that for?" he asked her with a knitted brow.

"Mom has been trying to get your attention for like ten minutes," Katie said annoyed, rolling her eyes, and then taking her earlier position of arms crossed against her chest, with a bored scowl gracing her face. Katie's precious video game had died an hour ago, and since then, she had resorted to making everyone else in the car miserable as a form of personal entertainment. Luckily for Katie, it had worked, as she cracked a small smile after punching Kendall in the arm. Kendall looked at his mother's tired, worried eyes in the rearview mirror and sighed.

"What?" he asked burdenfully, one ear of his MP3 still in as if Mrs. Knight had just interrupted a hockey game or something of the other.

"You know that Jenny has a son your age, Bryan, right?" his mom asked him. Kendall sighed. His mom had brought up Bryan Tregger at least six or seven times in the past month. It was like his mother thought the two were going to be best friends over the next week, which would definitely not happen. He had already had three best friends back at home. He didn't need any more.

"Yes, I know, mom. You've told me ten times," Kendall said rolling his eyes, and taking his rightful place against the window. Kimberly sighed, feeling bad for her son, knowing he was hurting. Kendall had taken his father's death the hardest out of the three Knights, no doubt about it. Him and his father were very close, something both Kendall and Kris had cherished dearly. Kendall had been an emotional train wreck for nearly two months after the accident.

"I know, I just want to let you know it's not going to be all adults up there," she said. Kendall silently nodded his eyes out the window again. "You're going to have a good time, Kendall. I promise," she said with a forced smile on her face. Kendall sighed deeply.

"I'm sure I will, mom," he said in a desperate plea to get his mother to stop pretending. Both knew that spending the Christmas with his mother's best friend and her relatives wasn't going to be fun for the eldest Knight. Kendall would have much rather not have had Christmas at his house, and just gone over to Logan's house for Christmas. His mother and father always had the best treats for the boys, like Candy Canes and hot chocolate. One Christmas he remembered especially well was when his mother had gone into false labor with Katie on Christmas Eve, and Kendall had been shipped to the Mitchell's. It was one of the best Christmas' Kendall had ever had.

Mrs. Knight veered off the interstate onto an exit ramp as Kendall seemed surprised at the new change of scenery. No longer were they going straight on an interstate with occasional curves, but they were actually entering some sort of civilization. Kimberly stopped the red mini-van at a traffic light, and couldn't help the smile that came to her face. She was excited to see Jenny Tregger, her best friend from High School. She hadn't seen her in a few years, and even though they talked on the phone once a week, she still missed her best friend. When Jenny had come down to Duluth for the funeral of her husband, Jenny had told Kim that if she needed anything to just call her. It was around November, when Christmas music started playing on the radio and all of Duluth was hung with garlands that Kimberly Knight started to worry about her children. It was their first Christmas without their father, without her husband. It was then she had decided to call up Jenny and ask her if they could get away from their house and spend the holidays with her. Jenny relentlessly agreed and well, here the Knight family was, traveling up to the rich and luxurious suburbs in Thief River Falls, Minnesota.

"Mom are we th-" Katie began to say in an annoying whine.

"Yes, sweetheart. In about ten minutes," Mrs. Knight said annoyed, her patience with her youngest child starting to really waver. As they drove up a steep hill, Kendall looked at all the huge, enormous houses that lined the streets. Some had driveways that looked like personal avenues. Many of the houses had a full glass wall of windows, or a frozen pond in the front yard. They passed the General Store, the StarCrest diner, and a few other shops and vendors. Kendall picked his head up a bit as they passed what the town had to offer.

He had to admit, a new change of scenery was quite refreshing from the small, quaint houses that he knew back in Duluth. A few minutes later, Mrs. Knight pulled into the large, circular driveway of Jenny Tregger's house. Kendall pushed his face against the glass window of the car and looked up in awe at the house, enormous house in front of him. It looked like a hotel. It had a series of decks with hot tubs, a large kitchen that you could see through the huge glass wall, and the many peaks of the house gave Kendall just a clue at how many rooms there were inside. Maybe this won't be so bad after all, he thought. Mrs. Knight turned off the car and got out, closing the door behind her. She looked up at the enormous house her friend owned, thanks to marrying one of the most successful business men in Minnesota.

"Okay, let's get our bags out of the trunk," Mrs. Knight said walking to the back of the car. She popped open the trunk and sighed as Katie went to pull her bag out of the mix, without any luck.

"Kendall, can you take your sisters bag for her please?" Kimberly asked her son. Kendall turned his gaze away from the huge house back to his family, as he gently unfastened Katie's pink and purple overnight bag from the pile. He hoisted it on his shoulder, along with his hockey bag on his other one, as Kimberly took her own bag, leaving the bag with their Christmas presents inside the trunk.

"Mommy, you forgot one," Katie said, motioning the big black bag in the back of trunk. Mrs. Knight quickly shut the hatch door and chuckled.

"That's just Christmas decorations, sweetheart," Kimberly said nervously. She looked up at her son who had a smug smile on his face, both knowing that they were the Christmas presents for Kendall and Katie. Katie being only nine still believed in Santa Claus, but Kendall had known for years now. Kimberly Knight smiled at her son's grin, and he heart nearly stopped for a moment. She hadn't realized how much Kendall had grown to look like his father the past few months. The same expressive, dark eyebrows, the same shaggy hair, and the same piercing green eyes she had fallen in love with. Kimberly felt like she was looking right at her late husband, and it brought a small, sympathetic smile to her face.

"Let's go inside," Kimberly Knight said, as she ushered her two young kids along, inside the huge, warm house that smelled of turkey and gingerbread.

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It was around 5'o clock, after Kendall and Katie had been shown off to most of Jenny Tregger's family and friends, that the three Knights retired to their room, to clean up for dinner.

"This is your room," Jenny said, leading the three down the long, warm, woodworked hallway. Kendall looked at all the pictures on the wall of Jenny, her husband Dave, and their kids, Bryan who was Kendalls age and Serena who was a year older than Katie. The four looked so incredibly happy, all bleach blonde, all with stunning blue eyes, all with perfect smiles. They were like the perfect family. All nice, and respectable. Bryan was going to the University of Minnesota on a hockey scholarship in two years, because he was basically all-state. Kendall had heard of him a few times from the other, older boys on his team. Bryan was a junior, and Kendall was a sophomore. The Tregger's were just like the Knights—except they were better. Kendall could've been jealous of Bryan Tregger for many reasons, but the main one was that he had a father—and Kendall didn't.

Jenny, a short, blonde, naturally beautiful middle aged woman opened the mahogany wood door to where the Knights were going to stay for the next week. There was a stone fireplace in the corner, a bearskin rug, a couch and loveseat, a huge big screen TV and a King size bed. In the corner, was a personal bathroom, with a shower, Jacuzzi tub and toilet. Kendall walked into the room behind his mother and sister in awe. This room was absolutely beautiful.

"This is beautiful, Jen," his mother said, looking back and smiling at her friend. Mrs. Knight took a deep breath in, and Jenny could see the hurt in her best friend's eyes.

"I'm so glad you are staying with us, Kim," Jenny said smiling. She turned her eyes to Kendall and Katie.

"And I'm sure you guys will get along with Bryan and his friends. They're very nice, and very into hockey," she said. Kendall smiled politely as Jenny sighed.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask," Jenny said politely. Kendall's mother hugged her best friend tight and whispered something into her ear, as the two exchanged a smile and Jenny exited the room.

"I call bed," Katie said lunging herself onto the King sized wonder. She had been waiting to do that since walking in. Kimberly chuckled and put her bags down by the foot of the bed as Kendall followed silently. He hadn't said much at all. He took off his grey beanie and pushed his hair back, taking off his jacket and gloves silently.

"I'll take the couch," Kimberly said affirmatively. Kendall looked up at his mom, who had a smile on her face. He hadn't seen her smile in such a long while, not since his dad died.

"No, it's alright. I'll take the couch," Kendall said, his voice raspy from barely talking. Kimberly looked at her son.

"No, it's okay, Kendall," she said. Kendall nodded no and came over to his mother, touching her hand gently.

"It's not a big deal, mom. I can watch the Wild game close up from the couch anyway," he said with a smile on his face. His mother smiled at him and kissed his forehead gently, her hands going through his dirty blonde hair.

"Thank you, sweetheart. That's so thoughtful of you," she said. Kendall sighed and hoisted his bag from the floor to the couch. He zipped it open and decided what he should wear for dinner. His jeans were alright, but the plaid shirt he was wearing would definitely not suffice for this family. They were all a bit dressed up. Kendall turned around and looked in the reflection of the TV. He looked like quite a mess, his hair a bit greasy since he hadn't showered since last night. It was then he decided to check out the bathroom, bringing a black sweater and thermal long sleeve shirt in with him.

"I'm showering," he bellowed out, going back to his bag to bring in his toiletries.

"Okay, just don't take too long," his mother said, unpacking Katie's dress clothes from the bag. Kendall entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He immediately went to the stall shower which was huge, with glass doors. He set his shampoo and conditioner on the ledge and looked at himself in the mirror. His green eyes looked tired and sad. He had to admit, this house was pretty awesome, but it saddened him being here without his father. Kendall sighed and quickly went over to the shower, turning on the hot water. He felt it for the right temperature before undressing, and stepping inside. The hot streams of water on his face felt amazing after their long journey, as he ran his hands through his now dark, damp hair.

* * *

It was about twenty minutes later, and Kendall was fully dressed, as were his mother and Katie. The three descended downstairs to the dinner table, where a long banquet table with at least twenty chairs was set up. The entire table was set, as the Tregger's relatives and friends all gathered around the glowing fireplace, sipping eggnog and laughing. Jeez, if this only December 21st, I could only imagine what Christmas is like, Kendall thought.

"I'm going to go see if Jenny needs any help in the kitchen. Why don't you see if you can find Bryan around, Kendall?" Kimberly said, taking Katie in tow to the kitchen with the rest of the women. Kendall sighed, and bit his lip. He sort of wished he was a girl. He saw Bryan in the corner, one hand in his pocket, the other with apple cider, talking to one of his aunts. Kendall didn't want to interrupt, but he caught Bryan's eyes awkwardly, as the tall, muscular, bleach blonde came over to him with a welcoming smile.

"Hi, Kendall. I'm Bryan," the boy said, giving him his best smile. Kendall smiled, as the two boys shook hands accordingly.

"So I hear your quite the hockey player," Bryan said with a smile on his face. Kendall nodded, and sheepishly looked down. He was an amazing player, but didn't like to admit it.

"Yeah. I hear you are too," Kendall said with a polite smile. Bryan chuckled and shrugged, taking a sip of his cider.

"Eh, it's hard not to be good growing up in Minnesota, you know what I mean?" he said. Kendall smiled and nodded, taking his hand awkwardly out of his pocket, warming up to Bryan a bit.

"Yeah, I feel you man," Kendall said smiling. He looked up at Bryan curious.

"So, who taught you how to play?" he asked. Bryan smiled at the boy.

"My dad did. We used to spend hours on the ice together at a time. He taught me everything I know. We are actually going on a trip in a few weeks to see the Wild play the Sharks in California. I'm really looking forward to it," Bryan said, his eyes going to his proud look alike father standing by the fireplace. Kendall swallowed hard and looked down, his hands shaking. His father had always promised him that they would go to an out-of-state Wild game when he was old enough. It was supposed to be his gift for Christmas this year. It was then, Kendall's throat got dry, and his eyes started to water a bit. It felt like his heart was being ripped in two. He looked down and was silent, and Bryan had realized what he had done.

"Oh, Kendall. I'm sorry," Bryan said nervously, feeling stupid, touching his shoulder gently. Kendall picked his head up and looked at the boy with the fakest, most cordial smile he could produce. He felt horrible, and tears were right on the brim of his eyes.

"It's okay. I—I'll be right back," Kendall said nervously, turning away with his hands deep in his pockets. He made a beeline across the dining room, to the back hallway. His heart raced as he bit his lip, looking for somewhere to go. It was then he saw glass doors leading out to one of the many decks the house had. Kendall burst through them, near breaking them as he ran to the rail of the deck, running quickly, hitting it violently, grasping to the rail and letting out a quiet sob. Tears ran down his cheeks, as he lowered himself down to sit against the rail. He hadn't cried since the two months following his father's death. He'd been so good, but what Bryan had said set him off, big time. Kendall clutched his shoulders in the cold Minnesota air, as warm tears cascaded down his face, collecting at his soft, pink lips. He ran his hands through his hair in anguish and agony, his leg shaking a bit. He tried his best to take deep breaths as best as he could to calm himself down, and didn't even realize he was being accompanied on the deck. Kendall felt someone sit next to him, and he figured it would be Bryan coming to make sure he was alright, or Katie. But it wasn't.

Kendall opened his eyes and looked next to him to see the most beautiful, blonde, starry eyed girl he had ever seen before him. She had beautiful blue eyes, light pink lips, a pale, freckly face. Her wavy blonde hair fell in soft curls upon her face, her nose delicate and soft, her expression confused. Kendall could've sworn she was an angel of some sort. His green eyes locked on her like she was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. In that moment, Kendall Knight swore he had fallen in love.

"Why are you crying?" she asked in the sweetest, most concerned voice ever.

And with four words, Kendall Knight was hooked.

**What do you guys think? Review please :) XD**


	2. Stella

**A/N: I'm only going to be updating this one every few days or every week or so, since this story will be EPIC and the chapters are very long. You guys are in for a treat. I'm really loving this story, and the chapters are going to be very long, and very detailed. it will be worth the wait, I promise :) I'll still be working on making things right so don't worry.**

**This is a bit AU right now, but eventually things will start to clash. Don't worry, everything will fall into place. And this will be Mature quite soon ;) (which is worth the wait let me tell you) Most importantly, REVIEW REVIEW**

I do not own BTR, only Stella and my other OC's.

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_Chapter Two: Stella_

Kendall looked beside him cluelessly. He felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest, faster than it had in any hockey game he'd ever played. He swallowed hard looking into those eyes that seemed to see right through him. He took notice of every single freckle, beauty mark, scratch and imperfection on her face in the short five seconds he was speechless. He couldn't speak and look at her. It was too much for his weak, inferior body to do. There was something powerful holding him back. His green eyes shone as he looked at her, and she gave him a small, awkward smile.

"I—I don't know," Kendall finally got out with a shaky breath, wiping his tears away embarrassed. He rested his hands on his knees which were in close proximity to his chest as the girl chuckled very confused at this mystery boy's response.

"You **don't** know why you're crying?" she asked playfully confused, giving him a raise of her perfectly arched blonde eyebrow. Kendall looked away from her for a second down at the deck trying to shake this weird feeling off, but he couldn't help it. His eyes needed to see her right now, and if they didn't he felt as if he would cry all over again. He looked back up at and let out a small chuckle, as relief spread in her beautiful blue orbs.

"It's stupid," he said trying his best to man up, adding a small chuckle. He couldn't believe he had been crying so loud for someone to hear him, and he couldn't believe that of all people, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen had heard him.

"I'm sure it's not stupid if it made you cry," she said softly, leaning her head back against the railing of the deck, taking her gloved hands and holding onto the railings from behind her. Kendall sighed nervously, his eyes still locked on her as her eyes never left the sky above.

"Just forget about it," he said, running his hands through his hair again trying to drop it, touching his face subconsciously. Kendall knew it wouldn't work. This girl was adamant about it.

"Please tell me?" she asked again looking from the sky at him, insisting he tell her. Kendall looked into her gorgeous blue eyes and smiled at her, quite annoyed by the fact she wouldn't leave him alone. They didn't even know each other and here she was, prying into his business like no other. But he really didn't mind for some reason. He swallowed hard, his throat dry. He had such a problem talking right now, and he didn't know why. He had talked to tons and tons of girls back home, but right now, he felt as if someone had cut his vocal cords from his mouth.

"Why do you want to know so bad?" he finally asked her with a smug, partially annoyed smile on his face.

"Badly," she corrected him without missing a beat, looking up at the stars again, totally enthralled by them. Kendall rolled his eyes silently and sighed. He was getting impatient with this girl, whose name he didn't even know. It seemed as if she was so concerned about Kendall, yet ignoring him for the starry sky at the same time.

"And if it sucked enough to make you cry, it's obviously something big. Guys don't cry for nothing you know?" she said with a chuckle. Kendall's face turned red from embarrassment as he turned his head, looking away from her. Great, now she thought he was some defenseless little boy. It was so cold out tonight, he hadn't even noticed. A light flurry had begun to fall again, as he turned his head subconsciously back to the blonde girl next to him. He smiled at the light snowflakes that stuck on her dark blue sweater and her grey knit gloves.

"Who are you anyway? And why were you up here?" Kendall asked with a bit of a frustrated, snappy attitude. The girl seemed unbothered by it as she smiled at the way he spoke his words, looking up at the starry sky once again. His annoyance seemed to entertain her. It was almost like he was talking to Katie. He couldn't help but notice how absolutely beautiful she really was again and again. It seemed every time he looked up at her face, he noticed something else about her. Whether it was the bit of green around her iris, or the scar under her right eye, Kendall found something new every single time.

"Well, I'm Stella. And I always come up here to look up at the stars. The Tregger's let me use their deck whenever I want to stargaze," she said simply, looking up, still infatuated by the dark vast sky. Kendall looked at her oddly. This girl was very weird.

"Oh. So you're not part of their family?" he asked her curiously. Stella looked back at Kendall with a weird face, as if he almost should've known. She studied his beautiful green eyes which were a bit watery, his soft hands, dark eyebrows and of course his adorable, sly smile of annoyance that she noticed to be the most beautiful thing on his face. She getting so much enjoyment out of her attempts to make him go off the deep end, and with one look in his eyes, she could tell it was working.

"No, I live next door," she said non-chalantly, motioning to a house on the left. Kendall looked at the enormous house, just about the same size as the Tregger's, and looked quite similar in structure. Maybe a little bit bigger. It was a beautiful wood worked house with large windows, many different decks and a whole bunch of sharp corners. It looked more like a piece of art rather than a house to Kendall.

"Oh. So then why aren't you over there?" Kendall asked her quizzically. "You seem to have the same amount of decks," he said cluelessly. Stella shrugged and continued to continuing looking up at the sky.

"Gina and John don't like when I stargaze. They think it's weird. And besides, I can't see much from the deck outside my room. Too many trees," she said simply giving the sky a warm smile. Kendall was a bit jealous of the sky at this moment. Who wouldn't want someone to stargaze? It's not like Stella was causing any harm by tilting her head back against the deck railing and somehow getting lost in the immense sky above her.

"Gina and John are…?" he asked her with knitted, confused eyebrows. She chuckled and sighed, sitting back against the deck.

"My parents," she said blankly, without emotion. "Well, my adoptive parents," she added on, her gaze upwards like usual. She then suddenly stood up out of nowhere and went to the corner of the deck, leaning her upper body over the railing and taking a deep sigh. Kendall got up from his position, the cold air stinging the track marks of his tears as he walked over to where Stella was. As he came next to her, he hung his hands over the balcony like hers as the two looked up at the stars.

"So why do you call your parents by their first names?" Kendall asked, returning the invasion of privacy she had so gratefully bestowed Kendall with earlier. Stella chuckled and looked at Kendall's eyes, finally fully taking her eyes away from the sky. She was in battle at the moment. To look at the beautiful, dark, starry Minnesota sky, or to look into the gorgeous green eyes of this boy she had merely stumbled upon. Kendall gave her an eyebrow raise that she found very attractive as she moved a bit closer to him, almost as if it was beyond her control. It felt like she had known him for years.

"Because they aren't my mom and dad. I only moved here a year or so ago," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Well, I only got adopted a year or so ago. I was in foster care before that," she said. Kendall nodded and the two teens looked out at the vast land out in front of them. Kendall sighed and looked down at his hands awkwardly. He spoke unexpectedly to Stella, and to himself.

"My dad," he finally said, surprised as the words came out of his mouth. Stella looked beside her confused at Kendall's words. She gave him a weird expression.

"What?" she asked confused. Kendall picked his head up and looked into Stella's eyes, with a sad face on. Kendall barely talked about his dad's death with the guys, and never brought it up in front of his mother or Katie. It pained him to talk about, but right now, he felt like he needed to say it. He felt comfortable saying it. He wanted to say it. But only to her.

"I was crying because it's the first Christmas without my dad," Kendall said, his voice a tad weak. He bit his lower lip and looked out in front of him at the scary, dark forest. It seemed endless, as the trees went on and on for miles. It scared him a bit, that he couldn't see anything past the tall firs that guarded the blackness. It made him uneasy and worried. It seemed like there was something lurking beyond it. Beyond them. There was silence between the two teens, but it was surprisingly not even the slightest bit awkward.

"Did he leave you?" Stella asked with a small shudder. She was beginning to get a bit cold. Kendall could see by the way she gripped herself and the goose bumps that rode up her neck, between the loose blonde locks that flowed so freely on her back. He cleared his throat and sighed as she sighed deeply, rubbing her gloved hands together.

"No. He died in February. He got in a car accident," Kendall said solemnly, his voice weak. Stella didn't turn to him, or acknowledge him at all. She just kept looking up at the sky. All was silent as the two teens just stood there, the flurries getting harder now.

"I'm sorry, mystery boy," she said a bit flirtily. Kendall chuckled at this and gave her a smug smile and another eyebrow raise. What an odd time to be flirty. It didn't bother him though. She was so intriguing and different. There was something about her. Kendall couldn't figure it out.

"Is that my new name or something?" he asked her confused. Stella shrugged and smiled at him, revealing a crooked smile showcased with white teeth, and those soft pink lips.

"Well you haven't told me otherwise," she said shrugging. "I politely introduced myself, but I guess manners don't run in **your** family," she said matter-of-factly, letting out a giggle. Kendall chuckled and moved closer to her with a sly grin on his face.

"My name is Kendall Knight," he said confidently, lifting his chin up a bit with an adorable smile on his face. Stella chuckled at this.

"Isn't Kendall a girl's name?" she asked with a snicker. Kendall furrowed his eyebrows at her playfully and gave her a dark, but comforting stare.

"You're obnoxious," he said to her with a sly chuckle. She looked back at him and sighed, her gaze going out towards the dark, mysterious trees again.

"I'm sorry, Kendall Knight," she said playfully, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder with a slight chuckle. Kendall looked at Stella quite entertained by her attitude. She was unlike any girl he had ever known before. It was strange, but Kendall felt happy when he was with her, which was weird because they had never met before. It was something beyond him. There was silence again as Kendall looked down at his fingers. He had almost forgotten where he was.

"Why were you in foster care?" Kendall asked bluntly, trying his best to be nosy. Stella swallowed hard, and it looked she was affected by his question, more so than the others. Her blue eyes seemed to shut down their twinkle for the time being, and her lips fell into a frown. Kendall immediately rethought his karma confident strategy.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that," he said thoughtfully, getting no response back from the blonde girl. Stella's smile returned a bit as Kendall looked down and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He had never felt so completely unhitched and nervous as he did right now. But it wasn't the usual type of nervous that you'd expect. It was the nervousness of the conversation to end. He couldn't stay here forever with Stella on the Tregger's deck. He couldn't forget about everything else going on his life like he had the past few moments. He would have to go back to reality soon. That's what scared him most.

"So, you like stars I guess?" Kendall asked, as Stella again had her head tilted up to the sky. She chuckled.

"Oh Kendall Knight, you have no idea," she said with a wide smile on her face. Kendall thought it was weird how she used both of his names. Weird, but endearing. Kendall looked up at the sky, still a little jealous that even though it was so superior to him, it was stealing Stella away from him, in the short time he had left with her. Someone was bound to come looking for him soon.

"Why?" he asked, his gaze upward, matching hers. Stella sighed deeply and smiled as Kendall looked over at the girl. She looked like she was at peace. She looked breathtaking. She turned to him for a second with a wide smile and confused look in her brow.

"Why not?" she said simply. Kendall took a deep breath and arched an eyebrow at her, and let out a chuckle, shaking his head entertained by her answer.

"What?" she asked knowingly, that definitive flirt that always seemed to be hidden deep within her voice. Kendall sighed and a smile came onto his face so easily. It was weird. He hadn't smiled this much in a while.

"You're a piece of work," Kendall said playfully to her, leaning his forearms on the railing, his green eyes going to the dark forest again. Stella crossed her arms across her chest, her grey knit gloves starting to unravel from their being worn out. It seemed she was mad at him. But she wasn't. Kendall already knew better than that.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment, Kenny?" she asked with a smug grin. Kendall looked at her with wide eyes and let out a short stifled laugh, his gaze turning from her to the dark forest twice more before he hung his head in laughter.

"Is that a nickname, wackjob?" he asked her, unable to control the chuckle that came out with the nickname. Stella smiled at him, leaning back down on the railing, her eyes going up to the stars again. She sighed deeply and licked her lips of the flurries falling down on her.

"Touché, Kendall Knight. Touché," she said smiling. Kendall sighed deeply as the two teens stood there overlooking the forest, which had begun to take on an easier feel, due to the soft coating of white sprinkled upon it.

"I can smell the dinner you're probably expectant to," Stella said randomly, turning her body to look at him. Kendall did the same and nodded, with a small smile on his face. The smell of turkey, and pasta, and dinner rolls clouded Kendall's mind for a quick moment.

"Why don't you come inside and have dinner with us? I mean, the Tregger's are nice, and I know they have enough food for one more," Kendall said, his voice almost desperate.

Stella smiled at him sweetly. "While that is very sweet, Kendall Knight, I'm going to have to pass. My parents are making dinner, and I'm expected back right after I find the rest of the stars I'm looking for," Stella said, her gaze turning upward for the umpteenth time that night. Kendall's heart dropped a bit as he looked at the girl who he felt could make this Christmas worth the while. He sighed a bit disappointed, and Stella noticed.

"What? Sad to leave me?" she asked him with an adorable, wondrous smile. Kendall chuckled a bit embarrassed, sticking his hands in his pockets, his sweater now sprinkled with white flurries, as well as his hair.

"Eh. Not really. You're nothing special," he said with a smug grin back to her, shifting his weight on his toes a bit nervous. It was such a lie. She was so special, Kendall knew it. She scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, playing along.

"If I'm nothing special, then you're truly nothing. I'm the most special girl you're ever gonna meet, Kendall Knight. I can count on it," she said with a smirk and chuckle, looking deep into his eyes. She should be looking at the stars, but she knew that they would be patient with her. Kendall shrugged.

"Fine, if you really think so," he said stepping the other way, to go back inside. He wanted nothing more as he took the measly two steps across the deck for Stella to turn around and tell him to come back. He didn't want to leave. And if Stella wasn't going to stop him, he knew something else would.

"Excuse me? You're just gonna leave me up here, in the cold snow," Stella said chuckling, as Kendall turned around quickly, acting surprised. Her expression was one of pure shock and beauty. Kendall smirked, his heart beating faster. She looked at him with her hands out in disbelief. "What if I freeze up here? And it's all your fault," she said slyly. Kendall walked back over to her slowly, the warmth from his overheating body taking over.

"You mean, 'my entire' fault?" he asked her with a smile and head cock to the side. Stella crossed her arms across her chest, and shook her head at Kendall, with a devious, but inviting stare smile combination. He took his hands out of his pockets and bit his lip, shrugging his shoulders at her.

"You're really obnoxious," Stella said smiling. Kendall scoffed and cocked an eyebrow at her suspiciously. Really, him the obnoxious one? She had been the free spirit badgering him with questions up here.

"I think you have it backwards," Kendall said chuckling. She moved closer to him and grazed his hand gently, where he looked down surprised. He felt fireworks, the beautiful sensation on his skin made his mouth water, and his entire body get even warmer. What was going on here? The two teens stood chest to chest, as Kendall looked down confused into Stella's eyes, standing a few inches taller than her. He had begun to breathe heavily, not knowing what was coming over him at this moment. This overwhelming feeling of…of something almost magical, as Stella stood close to him, barely touching only his hand.

"Oh, do you?" she asked sweetly, egging him on with those crystal blue eyes. Kendall gave her a nervous smile as she swallowed hard looking up at him. He nodded slowly as she studied his eyes nervously. She felt something, as her smooth hand barely touched his rough, worked one. It was something she had never felt before. She didn't know what had hit her, what had come over her. She had never felt better in her entire life then she had, touching Kendall Knight's calloused, warm hand. She felt safe. It was amazing.

It was Kendall's turn to talk. But he couldn't. His vocal cords had been disconnected again. He just studied Stella's eyes, lost in the ocean blue irises that held a secret ring of green around the center. He didn't know what to say, not that he would be able to if he thought of something quick. It was then Kendall figured out exactly what he had to do. He had to what felt natural. And what felt natural was kissing the soft, pink lips of the beautiful blonde in front of him. He slowly slipped his hands around her torso, clad in a blue cable knit sweater, and rested them at her back. Her hands went around his neck easily, as if they were supposed to be there. Kendall's damp, blonde hair hung in front of his eyes as they shone to Stella.

"What are you gonna do now, Kendall Knight?" she asked in a whisper, trying to speed the painfully slow action along. Kendall smiled smugly at her and leaned in to her face.

Just at lips touch, both bodies knew they wanted more. Kendall had kissed girls before, but those kisses had never been like this. Nothing even close. Kendall's lips moved effortlessly on Stella's as both hungered for each other in the meeting of their mouths. The two teenagers couldn't get enough. Kendall's grip on Stella's sweater tightened, holding her more up against his chest as her grip around Kendall's neck got tighter as well. Their lips moved together sweetly at first, as innocent as they could for first meeting each other—but it wasn't good enough for either. Kendall's lips then parted without his control, as brushed his tongue against Stella's lower lip, asking for entrance. Stella obliged, parting her lips widely, as Kendall slipped his tongue into her warm mouth confidently, turning his head to get a better angle. Stella moved her hand skillfully down to Kendall's jaw line, rubbing against the bit of stubble on his face as they kissed slowly. Their lips smacked, signaling their first separation, though neither pulled away. It just wasn't going to happen. Stella could feel the slight tickle of Kendall's faint mustache on her lips, as her tongue rubbed against Kendall's, their moist lips messily smacking as if it was some sort of parade. When the felt the time was right, the two sadly began to pull away slowly, opening both of their eyes as their lips painfully separated.

Kendall and Stella looked in each other's eyes as they fully parted, both wide and sparkling. Stella moved her hand to Kendall's chest where she swallowed hard, at a loss for words for the first time in a while. Kendall swallowed hard, the sugary taste of this girl's lips enthralling him. He dropped his hands from her waist slowly. He didn't kiss girls like that a lot. Especially not girls he had just met. But truthfully, Kendall didn't care. It felt so right—he didn't understand how it could possibly be wrong.

"I guess I'll go let you enjoy your dinner," Stella said simply, acting as if unaffected by the passionate kiss. Kendall nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets as she turned and went to the deck railing and climbed over it, turning around to face him. She smiled at him smugly and chuckled.

"You're a good kisser, Kendall Knight. You know that?" she said smiling widely at him. He chuckled embarrassed, but immediately got a bit concerned. He needed to see her again.

"When can I see you again?" he asked her desperately, moving closer to where she was by the railing. His hands went over hers which gripped the rail, as he felt the all too familiar fireworks in his body. He loved it.

"So you wanna see me again?" she asked slyly. Kendall chuckled and nodded eagerly, like a young boy, as Stella moved into his lips, barely grazing them with hers as she smiled smugly at him.

"I _need_ to see you again," he said adorably and softly. It near made Stella melt as she leaned in, and planted his warm, moist lips with another peck. It made Kendall go near crazy. Stella started her descent down the railings, where she had to make a pretty steep jump. Kendall hung himself over the balcony a bit to make sure she was alright getting down, even though she seemed expert at it.

"You'll see me again, I promise," she said looking up at him from the floor, as she landed on the soft snow. With a flick of her golden locks, she ran through the snow to the house next door, and disappeared behind it. Kendall stood at the railing, totally shocked at what had just happened, with a smile on his face. He looked at Stella's footprints in the snow, as he took a deep sigh. She was beautiful. She was gorgeous. She was simple perfection in Kendall Knights eyes. He muddled over her tracks in the snow, almost half expecting her to pop out with a smart remark. After a few seconds of waiting, Kendall accepted the fact that she was gone for now, as he turned around to walk inside, joining the rest of the guests for dinner.

* * *

**MOST IMPORTANTLY!**

Make sure to go check out the best Kendall/OC fanfic on here, Past the Sorrow by waterwicca (I am her number 1 fan!)  
_AND_  
All of RaquelSchmidts stories, such as the new What She Doesn't Know, What Makes Us Whole and me and hers collab story, Unspoken Silence :)


	3. Long Nights, Questions, Confusion

**VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END!**

**I do not own BTR, only Stella and my other OC's**

* * *

_Chapter Three: Long Nights, Questions, Confusion_

The large, antique grandfather clock that sat in the hallway adjacent to the Knight's room struck twelve, as the sound near echoed throughout the entire Tregger's large, luxurious house. With Katie and Mrs. Knight fast asleep on the bed behind him, Kendall lay on the plush orange couch, with some hockey expo channel the Tregger's had on the huge flat screen in front of him, watching the 1998 Stanley Cup Finals.

Kendall sighed, turning in and adjusting the homemade red and white knit blankets Jenny Tregger had given him for the night, resting his tired, jumbled head on the arm rest of the comfy couch. He hadn't stopped thinking about Stella since he had seen her run away through the light snow around the corner of her house, catching just a glimpse of her long golden curls before she disappeared entirely through view. Kendall had been on the couch since 10:30 trying to get to sleep, tossing and turning with no luck. The thoughts of the mystery blonde clouded his mind completely.

* * *

Stella's teeth chattered as the cold water hit her white, naked body. She swallowed hard, having to get used to this all over again like she did everyday as the strong stream of ice cold water from the showerhead impaled her shoulders and torso like knifes. She bit her quivering lip as the water dampened her beautifully blonde hair to a dark, dingy, damp brown. She quickly reached for the small bottle of shampoo resting on the corner of the shower, and quickly lathered her hair, the stream of water losing pressure, the sharp stabs still coming. Her body began to shake; her lips turning blue as she quickly did her best to lamely wash her body with the small, overused bar of soap next to the shampoo. She slid the creamy white soap all up and down her trembling body, the water getting weaker and weaker by the moment. She rushed to wash her body, as the water finally was resolved to droplets, her long blonde hair cold and wet against her back. She quickly stepped out of the glass shower and threw her distressed yellow towel around her bare body, trying to dry herself into warmth, as she walked into the empty, cold hallway, straight to her room.

* * *

Kendall had zoned out through all of the sumptuous dinner, wondering what Stella was up to right at the same moment he was buttering his dinner roll, or crunching on his salad. He figured she was probably sitting down to some quaint dinner with her parents in their huge house. Not sitting down to the loud, cheerful dinner was hardly part of. He had spent his entire time at the table barely acknowledging Bryan who had so nervously and graciously apologized (over and over again) for making Kendall upset, and being insensitive about his fathers' death. But Kendall didn't care. If Bryan hadn't upset him, he wouldn't have run out to the back deck and cried, and he wouldn't have met Stella, and they wouldn't have shared that wonderful, earth shattering kiss.

Kendall closed his eyes and in an instant, a natural smile came to his face. It had been a while since he had kissed a girl before tonight; a few months in fact. But the kiss he had shared with Stella seemed to totally hypnotize him. He bit his lower lip and snuggled more into the warm blankets as he thought about Stella's warm mouth. How her soft, supple, perfectly pink lips grazed and suckled against his. He thought about her teeth which seemed to nip his lower lip as she skillfully massaged her pink, delicate, sugary tongue against his. He thought about how her soft, gloved hands touched his jaw line, her fingertips radiating such heat and warmth, it only made him want more of her. The slight brush of her soft, pale white skin against his slightly darker tone made him swallow hard, as his mind began to wander off, his thoughts slowly getting more intimate and graphic. He thought about kissing her neck, and sucking on the snow white skin at her pulse point, his hands moving down to her hips, and slowly maneuvering their clever way under her sweater, creeping up the soft, shimmery skin on her back.

He had nearly undressed the beautiful, innocent Stella in his mind, when a slight ache below the belt instantly cut his fantasies off. His green eyes shot open and he shook his head, as if he was in some kind of trance. He shifted on the couch, and instantly felt the repercussions of his feral thoughts getting stiffer and more rigid against his inner thigh.

"Shit," he mumbled nervously, flipping the blanket off of him frustrated, his eyes going down his body to his pajama pants, checking how bad it really was. There was no way in **hell** he was going to take the chance to relieve himself, and risk embarrassment from his mother, Katie, or whoever else could possibly hear him in this ever echoing house. It would be a last resort for the boy to shamefully walk to the bathroom. Kendall lay back down on the couch and tried to think of hockey, trying to be as into the neck and neck game as he possibly could without thinking of her. It was only then that Kendall truly realized the effect this girl had on him. Here was thinking about touching her, and kissing her neck, and undressing her when he had only talked to her for ten minutes or so. He swallowed hard and shifted a bit, not feeling any better, the warmth of the room not helping one bit.

* * *

Stella sat at the large, long dining room table, her face pale, her blonde hair falling over her face. She wore her jacket and scarf, as she partook in the bland meal in front of her. She spooned around her white milk, and her soggy Cheerio's as she sighed deeply, leaning on her elbow. She couldn't stop thinking of Kendall Knight. Stella smiled to herself, thinking of how warm, and inviting he was. His beautiful lips against hers, how he held nothing back when they shared their kiss. Stella bit her lip and looked down into her cereal, her eyes starting to get warm with tears. No. She didn't want to cry, but how could she not? Kendall was only a visitor for the holidays, he wasn't staying here. Stella knew how this worked. However, she couldn't help but wonder just how much she could possibly get of Kendall before he left. She spooned a mouthful of cereal past her pink lips and swallowed it, twirling locks of her golden blonde hair with her finger.

Stella thought of how Kendall looked, in his black sweater and dark jeans, and boots. She thought of his soft, yet callused fingers, which seemed to touch the small of her back intoxicatingly, sending chills up her spine. She thought of his green eyes, and how they sparkled so bright, even the stars were jealous. Stella swallowed hard, putting her spoon down and pushing the bowl of soggy, cold cereal away from her, clutching her jacket to her body.

* * *

He sat up on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees, his head down, his hands running through his shaggy blonde hair nervously. He took a few deep breaths, slowly but surely calming himself down. He couldn't believe that he had thought about her like that. He felt like he could almost see himself undressing her, the two at the beginnings of a long, passionate tryst. It made him go near crazy.

Kendall stood up and slowly began to trek to the door, needing some well deserved air. He tiptoed across the wood floor, clad in pajama pants and an old t-shirt as he successfully exited the room out into the hallway. He was almost confused where to go first, wanting to return to the scene of the crime. This house was huge, and he had to get his bearings straight for a moment. He walked down the hallway, passing a few old paintings, the happy pictures of the Tregger family and some potted plants as he got to the end. He looked out the large glass window, nearly the size of the entire wall, where the snow had stopped falling, only darkness remaining.

Kendall made a turn down the elegantly carved wood staircase without as much as a creak, now standing the in the dimply lit living room and dining room, the only illumination coming from the large, powerful moon, and the soft, twinkling stars. This is where Bryan had talked to him earlier, right at the foot of the stairs. This is where it had started. Kendall made a mental note to backtrack his earlier steps and turned to his right, walking slowly into the dark hallway where the glass doors leading out to the back deck were. He realized it was probably freezing out, and that he should have a jacket, but it was too late to turn back now. He slowly went to the glass doors and opened them, a powerful gust of cold air hitting him in the face like bricks. He let out a shudder as he stepped out onto the snow, just in socks. Anyone else might've regretted doing this, in the stark winter, especially in Minnesota. But not Kendall Knight. Not when it came to Stella. With each step, the wet snow crunched under his socks, as he made his way to the balcony, the cold, and brutal wind nearly freezing him. He wouldn't be able to stay here for long. He half expected Stella to be there, as he turned around, making sure she wasn't behind him. Kendall sighed disappointed as his green eyes scanned the deck, with no trace of the soft curls anywhere. His heart dropped a bit as he turned back around, cleared off a bit of snow from the balcony, and rested his on his forearms, the air chilling through him. He immediately looked down, and frowned upon seeing the white snow that covered Stella's footprints. The one thing he could have smiled at, pertaining to her was now covered by a fresh layer of snow.

His gaze flew to the dark, uninviting house next door, where he imagined Stella sitting up in bed, looking out at the stars with that same, beautiful smile on her face. There was something about the house and something about Stella that didn't mix. He didn't see one light on in the work of art, and all the windows were closed up with curtains. He couldn't have seen Stella through them if he had tried his hardest. The moon gave it a spooky overcast, the trees surrounding it creating ghastly shadows, as he swallowed hard, hanging his head. He then looked straight on at the forest beyond him, his teeth beginning to chatter as he clutched himself in the wind, his green eyes watching the trees swiftly dance to death, in the cold, harsh, bitter gusts of wind.

* * *

Stella sat in her room, looking up at the large glass windows, out at the trees. Unfortunately, she couldn't see the stars from the deck outside her room, or inside on her bed either. She sighed and laid back in her bundle of blankets on her bed, cuddling up in them. She took a few deep breaths as she clutched the blankets to her body, her blue eyes closing as she instantly thought of Kendall. She wondered if he was thinking about her, and their kiss as much as she was. Stella hadn't kissed many boys before, only one other one. But this kiss had felt so natural, and perfect, she couldn't contain herself, and by the way Kendall's tongue had slipped into her mouth so greedily, she figured that he couldn't either. It was such a passionate and beautiful kiss, Stella had nearly gone weak in the knees. She smiled to herself thinking about it, AGAIN, and shook her head from the image of her and Kendall kissing, his hands at her curves. She looked out the large pane of glass to the left and sighed, wishing that she could see the stars. She emerged from the blankets, and walked over to huge window, touching it gently. She squinted her eyes in the darkness, but illuminated by light was a figure standing on the Tregger's' deck, as her lips curled into a quaint smile.

* * *

The forest scared Kendall, and the way the trees danced against the night so ghastly, sent shivers up and down his spine. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping that by some miracle of the moment, he could get Stella out of that room, and bring her back to the deck. He wanted to talk to her. He wished he could look at the stars with her. He needed to kiss her. He swallowed hard as the harsh wind took him over by storm, and he closed his eyes tightly. It was weather like this. It was a moment like this one.

_Kendall anxiously waited at the kitchen table, finishing some last minute geometry homework. He looked at the door every so often, just waiting for his father to come through it. Kendall had received word today, he had been moved up to play on the Varsity hockey team, the only ninth grader in six years to be asked. He was going to be able to play with all the sophomores, juniors and seniors in his school, and more importantly, play teams at his level. No more of the horrible JV players he would have to face. The Duluth Hawks hadn't lost a game since Kendall had entered high school that previous September. _

_"Mom, when is dad getting home?" Kendall asked, tapping his pencil on the loose leaf in front of him. Mrs. Knight stood at the stove to the left of the boy, stirring a bit pot of homemade chicken noodle soup. She tasted a bit, added more salt and sighed._

_"I don't know, Kendall," she said, looking at her watch. "He's only ten minutes late." Kendall sighed, going back to his math homework. Proofs. Yuck. This was the only homework he had, and the Wild game was on tonight. He figured his dad would want to watch it with him, especially with the news he was about to give his father. The phone rang, Kendall perking up a bit, as Mrs. Knight went over to answer it. He figured it was his dad calling to say he was on the way, and that'd he be home in five. Kristopher Knight only worked about fifteen minutes away from the quaint suburbs of Duluth, Minnesota._

_"Hello, Knight Residence," Mrs. Knight said into the phone cheerfully. Kendall looked back at her with a smile on her face, but it soon disappeared as Mrs. Knights face dropped to the floor. She swallowed hard, her face stone cold, as she gripped the phone closer to her ear. She nodded and turned her back from Kendall as he began to get worried._

_"Mom, who is it?" he asked confused, getting up from his homework. Mrs. Knight let out a small sob, as she hung up the phone running to the counter, grabbing her purse and keys._

_"Mom, what's going on?" Kendall asked her nervously. Mrs. Knight looked at her oldest child, her heart breaking. She had just gotten word her husband was in a car accident, and it was bad._

_"I—I need to go. Kendall, watch Katie, I'll be back as soon as I can," she said, running up to him with tears falling down her face, kissing his forehead and running out the door. Kendall followed her to the door._

_"Mom!" he screamed out, his voice cracking as Mrs. Knight backed the car out the driveway feverishly, and sped down the street. Kendall watched the small red car speed away, the pit of his stomach twisting up with fear. Something was wrong. Something was deathly wrong._

_At 11:00 that evening, Kendall sat in his room, hysterically crying. Dead. His father had died. Kendall sat on his bed, running his hands through his hair, his face wet and red with tears, his breathing hitched tremendously. His whole entire body hadn't stopped shaking since hearing the news over an hour ago. His father was in a car accident, the car had spun on black ice, hit another car, and then went under a truck. His father barely had a chance upon arriving at the hospital, but by the time Mrs. Knight had arrived there, he was already gone._

_Kendall cried harder and harder with each thought of his dad. He had just talked to him this morning about the Wild game, and how they were going to watch it together, no women allowed. He had given Katie a kiss on the forehead, and his mother a kiss on the lips before leaving the house. If Kendall knew that this morning was going to be the last time his father walked out that door, he would've said something better than "Bye, Dad." His hands shook with anger and fury, his sobs choking his throat. He had barricaded himself in his room since his mother had told him. He didn't want to have to look at Katie crying into her mother, Mrs. Knight's own tears falling down her face. Kendall had come up here for the reason that he needed to be alone. He couldn't handle all of this right now._

_He got up from his bed, his face red, and went over to where his hockey stick was in the corner. His footsteps were thunderous on the blue carpet of his room, as he grabbed his hockey stick roughly, breathing heavily. He swallowed hard and took a messy, powerful slap shot at the wall, effectively breaking the hockey stick in half. He let out a scream of anguish, as he threw his bag against the wall, all of its contents falling out. He picked up his gloves and threw them at his bedside lamp, knocking it down with a smash, and kicked his desk chair over, papers whipping around everywhere. Kendall breathed heavily and monstrously, before he fell onto his knees in the middle of his wrecked room, sobbing hysterically. He needed to get away. Now._

_He sprang for the window by his bedside, and opened it carefully, his knees and hands trembling. He inched himself out onto the roof, overlooking the back yard of the Knight's house. With a swift maneuver down the gutter, repelling against the wall, Kendall was free in the wild, windy, harshly cold Minnesota night. He clutched his shoulders to himself, tears running down his face as he ran into the forest of trees that began about fifty yards from his house, over his chain link fence. Kendall ran through the trees, his body shaking, his vision blind as the cold wind and harsh bitter cold stung his skin like a thousand and one knifes. Kendall opened his green eyes, his breathing heavy, as tears stung his eyes. He hadn't thought back to the day his father actually died since the accident happened itself. Kendall felt a cold rush come over him, his heart beating out of his chest, as soft tears fell down his cheeks. He looked out at the scary, intimidating forest and swallowed the lump in his throat, salty tears falling on his lips. He let out a quiet sob, hanging his head when suddenly he felt two hands come around his torso, and hot breath on his back._

_Due to lack of sight, Kendall tripped over a large branch in his way, tumbling forward, hitting his head on a tree stump, cutting his face up. He cried raucously, but not from the physical pain, from the emotional pain. He brought his hand to his face, laying belly up on the floor, as he felt a bit of sticky blood from the small cut on his cheek. Kendall laid his head back and looked up at the bright stars, along with the trees dancing before him. Tears began to well in his eyes again, as he swallowed hard, letting out a long, agonizing sob._

Kendall opened his green eyes, his breathing heavy, as tears stung his eyes. He hadn't thought back to the day his father actually died since the accident happened itself. Kendall felt a cold rush come over him, his heart beating out of his chest, as soft tears fell down his cheeks. He looked out at the scary, intimidating forest and swallowed the lump in his throat, salty tears falling on his lips. He let out a quiet sob, hanging his head when suddenly he felt two hands come around his torso, and hot breath on his back.  
_  
_"I'm sorry, Kendall Knight. I know you loved your father," Stella whispered softly, hoping the stars wouldn't hear. Kendall turned around in her arms with his green eyes shining, as she smiled up at him slyly. Kendall sighed and smiled at her, instantly hugging her small body to him, his hands around her waist tightly as she nuzzled into him.

"Perfect timing," Kendall said lightly, clearing his raspy throat, kissing her blonde hair. Stella chuckled and rubbed his back gently, Kendall melting into her touch.

"Seems like you're always crying up here," Stella whispered smugly. Kendall chuckled a bit and pulled away from her, looking down into her eyes.

"Shut up," he whispered with a smile, before quickly placing his lips on hers.

* * *

The next day, all the Tregger's guests were gone, vanished from sight. It seemed to be a tradition to only come for the first night of the week, and then Christmas Eve and Christmas. Most of their families and friends lived relatively close in the suburbs of Thief River Falls, but the Knights did not, therefore, they stayed the whole week. Kendall walked into the grand kitchen, full granite countertops, state of the art appliances and again with those large glass windows as the bright snow reflected back at him. Kendall sighed happily, living on air after seeing Stella again last night. His smile was infectious as he walked into the kitchen to see everyone else up, Kendall having slept later from the rendezvous.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Mrs. Knight said, happy and surprised at the large smile on Kendall's face. She stood at the island in the middle of the spacious room, mixing up some eggs in a bowl, Katie and Serena by her side sprinkling cheese on the omelets and laughing and Jenny at the stove, cooking up and array of sausage, bacon, and pancakes all at the same time. Kendall felt the sweet smell of a home cooked breakfast surrender his scent, as Bryan came through the kitchen from the china cabinet in the hallway with silverware and plates. He was still in his plaid PJ pants, and old t-shirt as was Kendall.

"Need help?" Kendall asked with a bright smile on his face. Bryan stopped dead in his tracks, and smiled, looking back at his mom and Mrs. Knight who both had smiles on their faces. Bryan was sure that Kendall had some kind of problem with him, since he had ignored him since getting here. Bryan was doing his best to make Kendall have a good time here, just like his mom hoped.

"Yeah, thanks," Bryan said as the two boys went into the dining room.

As the boys exited, Mrs. Knight looked back at Jenny surprised.

"Did you see that smile too?" she asked her best friend excitedly. Jenny nodded and seared the sausage pan smiling.

"I did, Kim," Jenny said chuckling. Mrs. Knight smiled widely, the fact that Kendall had a smile on his face one of the best feelings in the world. He hadn't smiled in months, not since the accident.

"I wonder what caused that," Mrs. Knight said, cracking another egg into the bowl. Katie chuckled and let out a scoff.

"Maybe a girl. He always has that doofy smile on his face. Remember when Chrissy Jenkins and him went to the movies that one time?" Katie said like it was common knowledge, her and Serena putting the finishing touches on the ready-to-cook omelets

Kimberly laughed at her younger daughter, mixing up breakfast. "I don't think so Katie. Kendall has been here less than a day, and hasn't been out of the house. I highly doubt he met some mystery girl somewhere," she said laughing.

Kendall set the silverware on the now smaller breakfast table in dining room, as Bryan set down the fine china and napkins.

"So, my friends and I were probably going to go down to the town, play a few rounds of hockey and then stroll around Main Street for a bit. Do you wanna come?" Bryan asked Kendall. Kendall smiled at the boys invitation and chuckled.

"Uh yeah, I mean—I don't wanna ruin your plans though," Kendall said, a quick flicker of hope in his mind that if he stayed home all day, he may catch glimpse of Stella. Bryan shook his head no and set down the last of the plates and napkins.

"Don't worry, dude. We need as many people as we can for hockey, and I can guarantee you that you don't want to stay home all day with the women, in the kitchen, around Christmas," Bryan said with a chuckle. It was then Kendall realized Bryan was probably right.

"True," Kendall said chuckling, setting the silverware down on the last napkin. Kendall sighed and looked at Bryan a bit nervously. He had been wondering if Bryan knew Stella for the past day or so. Maybe he could tell Kendall something about her that would somehow help him to catch her more often. It seemed their meetings were never really planned, or expected. He never knew the next time he was going to be able to have the gorgeous blonde in his arms again.

"Bryan, do you know a 'Stella?'" Kendall asked nervously looking down, fixing a crooked fork. It was the first time dragging her into his real life since—well, since he had met her only yesterday. Bryan pushed in the chairs to the side of the table and made a weird face.

"No. I don't know any Stella," Bryan said, mulling it over in his head. Kendall was confused.

"But isn't she a friend of the family? I mean doesn't she live next door?" Kendall asked puzzled, as Bryan looked at him oddly.

"I don't know any Stella. And the house next door is vacant. No one lives there," he said to Kendall suspiciously. Kendall swallowed hard and stepped a step back. Stella lived there, didn't she?

"Why do you ask? Did you see something?" Bryan asked confused.

"Oh, nothing I just—I was just wondering. I thought I remembered someone named Stella who lived here, and I thought I saw her on the balcony of the house next door," Kendall said stumbling over his words horribly, trying his best to fabricate a lie in the short time he had. "I guess I'm going crazy," he said shakily. Bryan chuckled and came over to Kendall.

"Old girlfriend or something?" he asked, catching on to Kendall's nervousness. Kendall chuckled and nodded no.

"No, just—someone I used to know," he lied again, straight into Bryan's blue eyes. Bryan shrugged.

"Well, I'm gonna go get dressed and showered after breakfast, I figure you'll do the same and we'll leave around 1?" Bryan asked. Kendall nodded with a smile.

* * *

Around 4, Kendall, Bryan, and his three friends, Jake, Alex and Stephen walked on Main Street, their hockey gear slung over their backs, just talking and laughing. Kendall fit in easily with the three boys, being so amazing at hockey in which they all had marveled at. They had just finished a pretty intense game, and were now heading to the General Store to pick up some sodas and candy before Kendall and Bryan headed back home to help with dinner. All throughout his day, Kendall had wondered what Bryan had said. Of course Stella lived next door, I mean, he had seen her go there both times. She was going back to her parents, Gina and John, who didn't like her stargazing. It didn't make sense to him at all.

"You're pretty good at hockey, Knight. You'll get a scholarship easily," Jake said, fastening his bag on his shoulder as they continued to walk.

Kendall smiled and chuckled. "Thanks, I hope I do. But I have two years left, so I'm not rushing anything," he said modestly.

"I can't believe we go to college in a year man. I gotta start looking at schools, because we don't all have hockey scholarships like Bryan," Alex said tauntingly, shaking his friend's shoulders. Bryan rolled his eyes and fastened his bag on his shoulder.

"Lay off," he said annoyed, swatting Alex away.

"Aw. Is Bryan sad that he is going to University of Minnesota four hours away, and he isn't going to be able to see his precious, girlfriend Lisa?" Stephen taunted even more, as Bryan rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face.

"Stop it," Bryan said again more playful this time, blushing at the mention of his girlfriend.

"Dude, please tell me you tapped that," Alex said bluntly, coming up behind him and putting a shoulder around him as they walked. Kendall chuckled at the bluntness of the statement as Jake rolled his eyes, Kendall chuckling again.

"Easy goes it, Alex. Just cause you're not getting any, doesn't mean I'm not," Bryan said with a smile and wink, as Alex scoffed and Stephen whooped, patting his friend on the back.

"My man," Stephen said, as the four excluding Alex shared a chuckle, walking down the snowy street, past all the shops and cafes. Jake, who walked beside Kendall, smiled at him. Kendall seemed him to be the most level headed of the group.

"So Knight, what about you? You got any cute girls in Duluth?" he asked. Kendall chuckled and shrugged.

"Cute I guess. But they're either, whores, totally prude, or just completely wacked out," Kendall said chuckling. The boys all chuckled"Yeah, that's pretty much how the chicks are here. There are a few good in the bunch, but there really isn't much," Jake said disappointed. Bryan, remembering Kendall's earlier question turned to his friends as they continued walking down the snow filled street.

"Hey, do any of you guys know a Stella?" he asked. Kendall's heart beat faster just at the mention of her name, clutching his hockey gear tighter to him. Jake, Alex and Stephen all nodded no.

"Why?" Jake asked confused. Bryan looked at Kendall who looked uncomfortable with his question, and since the two were just starting to become friends, he thought it be better to leave the situation alone.

"Just wondering," Bryan asked, dropping it immediately. The boys got to the General Store and before they walked in, Stephen and Alex halted, dropping their bags and fixing their shirts and hair like supermodels of some sort. Jake rolled his eyes as Kendall looked on confused with a cocked eyebrow.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked laughing. Jake sighed and looked at Kendall with a goofy grin.

"They are in love with the girl who's been working behind the counter the past few weeks. They keep trying to get with her, but let me tell you, she's one feisty blonde," Jake said. "I stopped trying after she first shot me down, but these two clowns over here won't ever drop it, no matter how many times they get rejected." Kendall chuckled as the two boys sighed and gave each other warlike stances.

"I talk first this time. You got to go last time," Stephen said fixing his black hair as Alex looked at him as if he was a liar.

"Dude!" Alex said incredulously. Stephen looked at Bryan who nodded in agreement, as Alex's shoulders sunk and he scowled.

"Fine," he whined. The two boys picked up their hockey gear and strutted inside, as the other three boys followed. The door made a slight ring when it was opened, as all five boys huddled inside the small, quaint little store.

"Hey, Kacey," Stephen said friendly, walking up to the counter. A girl with curly blonde hair was on the phone, facing towards the counter behind the register, her back turned to the group. She put her finger up, hunched over, writing something down as Kendall looked around at all the random stuff the store had in it. He approached the counter with the other boys, as the blonde hung up the phone. She turned to the rest of the group, and caught Kendall's eyes. Kendall swallowed hard, his heart beating out of chest.

"Stella," he whispered to himself.

* * *

**Review please XD Until next week. Sorry for the nasty cliffhanger but it should leave you wanting more :)**

**Okay, so the absolute BEST Kendall/OC story on this whole site is Past The Sorrow by waterwicca. This girl is an absolutely AMAZING writer and SUCH an inspiration. You HAVE to go read this story if you haven't already. It's a MUST READ, BELIEVE ME.**

**Also, RaquelSchmidt has ALOT of amazing stories out, such as What Makes Us Whole, our collab story, Unspoken Silence, and her new story What She Doesn't Know!**

**ANOTHER fantastic author, and one of my favorite reviewers, Starbucks3894 has an amazing Kendall/OC story called Of Identities and Illusions which is also amazing so PLEASE check that out!**

**And one final shoutout to miSSmeliSS1324124 and her very interesting Kogan (and its rare for me to like these, so she does a great job) The Way I Am**

**MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THESE STORIES, AND MY OTHER STORY MAKING THINGS RIGHT. THANKS GUYS :)**

IMPORTANT NOTE: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT MY OC'S.


	4. An Emotional, Ticking, Time Bomb

**A/N:This is a long one guys, I hope you enjoy! Please review! And please make sure to check out stories by  
- waterwicca  
****- RaquelSchmidt**  
**- Starbucks3894**

**I don't own BTR, only Stella and the Treggers.**

**Keep reading and reviewing guys! :D I really hope you enjoy this chapter. You get ALOT of answers :) And its nearly 7,000 words *gasp***

* * *

_Chapter Four: An Emotional, Ticking, Time Bomb_

Kendall's entire body froze as he looked at Stella in her pretty, hypnotizing blue eyes. Time stopped, as his heart called out to her like always. Something didn't fit here. Why were they calling her Kacey? Why didn't Bryan know she lived next door? What was going on? Kendall's breathing got a bit heavier, and he blinked his eyes, trying to make sure that this was all real, and he wasn't just imagining it.

"Hey, Kacey," Stephen said again, resting on the counter slyly, his body leaning towards Stella as she backed away a bit. "Kacey?" Kendall thought again, very confused. Stella kept her eyes locked on Kendall the entire time, looking into those starry green eyes that captivated her so well. She seemed nervous, and a bit shameful, looking down immediately.

"Stephen, leave me alone," she said viciously and annoyed, not her usual flirty, playful self. Things had changed since Kendall Knight had come into her life. Things changed for the good. And now she wasn't too fond of other people trying to hit on her. Stephen looked taken aback, as he looked at her confused, Kendall feeling a bit proud, knowing what this was all about. He knew that he had something to do with the fact Stella was acting like this.

"I know you usually turn me down, but you don't have to be such a bitch about it," he mumbled annoyed, turning away from the counter. Kendall balled up his fist by his side, biting his lip as Stella locked her eyes on him again. Bryan noticed the looks exchanged between the two lovers and smiled a bit, Kendall trying his best to hide his anger towards the guy who just called the most amazing girl in the world a bitch.

"Hey baby," Alex stepped up, taking his shot, cocking an eyebrow at her, leaning in towards her with a smug smirk on his face. Kendall looked on at him furiously, wondering how Stella was going to shoot him down. Alex Callum seemed like the typical asshole of this group of friends, the one who sleeps with girls and doesn't remember their names. The thought of this idiot—while still very nice—kid anywhere near Stella made Kendall's lips thin, his eyes in a dead glare towards the tallest of the four. These kids were gonna be his friends this week, and he couldn't blow up on all of them for the littlest thing. It's not like they had any idea that Stella was _his_ anyway. Stella looked at him a bit upset and nodded her head no.

"Nice try," Stella laughed with a scrunched up face, as Alex persisted.

"Come on, Kace. We've been coming in here for a few weeks now and all I want is one date," he said in a low, husky voice. Stella scoffed and laughed in his face, as Bryan and Jake chuckled behind Kendall.

"Again. Nice try," Stella said ignorantly, as her eyes locked on Kendall's again, smiling at him. Bryan, seeing some type of connection between the two, urged Kendall to go approach the counter.

"Go on," Bryan mumbled under his breath, giving the boy a slight nudge forward. Kendall looked at Stella in her beautiful blue eyes, puzzled and awkwardly helpless when he got an idea. He approached the counter with a crooked smile, Stella smiling widely at him, a bit nervously, leaning towards him over the counter. Kendall looked back at all the guys who were anticipating his doom. Kendall took his beanie off, and set it down on the counter, pushing his hand through his shaggy blondish hair, giving her an adorable smile.

"Can I have a kiss?" Kendall asked Stella, with a gleam in his eye. Alex, Stephen, Jake, and Bryan all looked at him in shock and started mumbling, wanting to watch 'Kacey' slap the boy in the face. Instead, Stella quietly came from behind the counter, and stood in front of Kendall as the boys watched intently. Stella slipped her arms around Kendall's neck, crashing her lips on his passionately, as all four boys' faces dropped to the ground. Stella arched her head, Kendall brushing his tongue against her lower lip, begging for the all too familiar entrance as her hands went to his jaw line, his hands going to the small of her back as they slowly and passionately kissed

The boys mumbled in awe, Bryan smiling, Alex and Stephen dumbfounded and Jake chuckling as Stella and Kendall parted with an audible smack, looking into each other's beautiful, starry eyes. While Kendall was still so confused about all of this, kissing Stella just made everything feel right. It was if his heart found the right beat, his lips found the right handshake, and his mind finally fell at peace.

"Thank you," Kendall said gentlemanly, as Stella simply went back behind the counter, her face a bit rigid at the loss of Kendall's hands, and more so at the fact that he was going to ask questions about all of this, like the fact that they were calling her Kacey.

"Jesus Christ, Knight," Stephen said in disbelief, as Kendall stared into Stella's beautiful eyes, getting lost all over again. Kendall turned to the guys with a grin on his face, his mind unsure, and his heart pumping fast as he slowly but surely fastened his hockey bag on his shoulder and walked out of the general store like nothing had happened.

Kendall burst outside into the cold, wintery air, leaning against the store window thinking. What was going on? There was definitely something Stella wasn't telling him, and he didn't like it one bit. She was lying to him, but he figured she must have a pretty good reason about it. Stella, if that even was her real name. The boys followed suit, filing out of the General Store with a soda in each of their hands, crowded around Kendall Knight in oblivion.

"Dude, what the **fuck** just happened?" Stephen asked incredulously. Kendall laughed and shrugged, as the other boys looked on.

"I don't know. I didn't think she was actually going to kiss me, but she did," Kendall said slyly, lying through his teeth. Bryan and Jake laughed, as Alex looked at Kendall jealously.

"Dude, she wouldn't even let me ask her out!" Alex exclaimed from the back, jealousy creeping up in his voice. Kendall shrugged again and cocked his eyebrow, looking back through the store window where Stella stared at him, a worried look on her face. Kendall frowned and turned back to the boys.

"Was she any good?" Stephen asked anxiously. Kendall nodded and raised his eyebrows, biting his lower lip.

"Oh yeah. She was great," Kendall said smiling smugly, secretly showing off just how good of a kisser Stella really was. It didn't matter if they didn't know the circumstances. He was the one who got to kiss her, and that's all the mattered to the boy.

"It was just _so_ random, Dude," Jake said laughing, his eyes going over to Alex who was still pouting with jealousy. Alex threw his hands up in the air obviously annoyed he couldn't get anywhere with the beautiful blonde.

"I just don't understand," he cried to the heavens, as the other boys looked at him like he was crazy. Kendall shrugged and scratched the back of his head sheepishly and shrugged.

"I wish I did," Kendall said swallowing hard, channeling his misunderstanding of Stella's secrecy, the empty house next door and the impromptu name change. Bryan came up to Kendall and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you go in there and ask her for a date or something? I mean you're only here a week, but still. It could be fun. And she already kissed you, so I'm sure she'd say yes," Bryan said, looking into Kendall's eyes. Kendall smiled and nodded. It would give him time to talk to Stella, and address this whole thing.

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. I'll meet up with you back at the house, Bryan?" Kendall asked him. Bryan nodded, knowing the boy had enough of his crazy friends for one day, as he shuffled them along down the street, Alex still confused, Stephen still questioning, and Jake laughing at the idiots he called his best friends. Kendall immediately slipped back into the store, with the gentle ring of the bell, his face confused as Stella looked worried. She swallowed hard as he approached the counter with a soft smile that looked concerned. She knew that now, everything was going to start coming out.

"Why were they calling you Kacey?" he asked confused, leaning across from her. Stella looked down and away from Kendall, bracing herself.

"It's—it's just a nickname, Kendall Knight," she said nervously, stumbling over his first and last name. Kendall wasn't buying it at all. She was definitely hiding something.

"No it wasn't. I asked them if they knew a Stella, and they all said no. I asked Bryan if he knew you, and he'd never heard of you. He also says there is no one living in the house next door to him," Kendall said calmly, his hand reaching across to his lover's holding it tightly. Stella looked up at him ashamed, worried, and scared.

"What's going on?" he asked her with sad, heavy green eyes. Kendall was concerned by the way her face tensed up and looked nervous, how weak her voice got, and how her sarcasm had faded. It wasn't the Stella he knew…for all of 24 hours.

"Nothing," Stella said curtly, quickly detaching her hand from Kendall's and walking into the doorway behind her, into the stock room. Kendall arched his head to look through the doorway, but ultimately followed her, going behind the counter, into the room, looking through the aisles of their stock. For such a small store, there was a big inventory room. Shelves held tons of different boxes and goods, Stella lost in the maze somewhere.

"Is Stella even your real name?" Kendall asked out to the boxes. He heard her rustle and he began to get frustrated at her silence. They had shared so much last night, and all of yesterday with each other. They had hooked up on the deck a number of times, and cuddled together under a blanket, but yet, Stella wouldn't open up to him. It was then Kendall realized, he didn't know her last name, or what school she went to, or about her parents that much. Stella had some way of changing the subject from her to Kendall, or just shutting him up completely—usually with some sort of kiss. Kendall knew nothing of her, just how she wanted. He called out to her again.

"Well is it?" he asked more irritated this time, beginning to barrel through the stock room, lit dimly with fluorescents. He turned a corner and found Stella pushed up against the wall scared and confused. Kendall's heart nearly fell out of his chest as he saw a single warm tear roll down Stella's cheek. He approached her, as his insides crumbled up. She had seen him crying twice, and he didn't think anything of it, but if she felt the same way he did, seeing him cry should've killed her.

"No. It's not my real name, okay?" Stella whispered upset, leaning back against the shelf lazily. Kendall approached her slowly, meeting her at the shelf as she looked away from him, obviously ashamed about something. She couldn't look into those green eyes right now.

"What?" he asked her confused. Stella looked at Kendall and let out a small cry, as he moved closer, his hands touching hers gently. This was new for her, for she never cried. She didn't know if it was the fact that she was ashamed of her life, the fact that this could ruin and end things with Kendall, or the fact that she was lying to him.

"I don't have a name, Kendall Knight. I don't have a first name, I don't have a middle name, I don't have a last name," she frowned, looking down at her tattered. Kendall felt the world collapse on his shoulders as her tears got stronger and stronger, his eyes turning dark and upset. He was so baffled, his heart beating faster and faster as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"What do you mean you don't have a name?" he asked her softly, touching her face gently. Stella looked away from him again, as he moved even closer, their bodies touching, his hot breath on her wet cheeks.

"What's going on?" Kendall whispered under his breath, his voice sincere and worried. Stella sighed and looked into Kendall's eyes. She was going to have to tell him the truth. She hadn't wanted a romance, but life didn't ask her what she wanted when she met Kendall upon the roof top she secretly graced to star gaze. It had just happened. And thank god it had.

"I don't have a name. I don't have parents. I don't know the Tregger's," Stella whispered softly. Kendall looked in her eyes confused. Stella swallowed hard and sighed deeply, knowing that as soon as she spoke the words she was about to say, she could lose all of him, and all of his heart. She was terrified of it, but she had to tell the truth.

"I'm a runaway, Kendall Knight," she spoke softly into his lips. Kendall's green eyes opened wide as the words muttered from her lips. A runaway? She had run away from home?

"W-what do you mean?" Kendall asked her softly, as she blinked, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. His face was a lost, surprised expression, which worried Stella. She turned away from Kendall abruptly, hitting his arm that touched her waist down and walked down the aisle filled with boxes.

"Stella, wait," Kendall called, walking after her. He grabbed her arm in the doorway, his heart beating rapidly as she turned to him angrily. Her blue eyes full of venom, and selfless love. She couldn't bring Kendall into her complicated, tragic life. It would be too hard. She had to stop now, before she got too ahead of herself, leading to more heartbreak than she had ever experienced.

Stella had never expected to fall as hard as she did for him.

"I have to quit you, Kendall Knight," she said wearily, her voice covered in tears as she shook that same, amazing, warm, beautiful hand off her arm. Stella walked towards the front of the general store with her head down, as Kendall followed her, his mind pacing, his heart racing, and his eyes full of heat.

"What do you mean you have to 'quit me'? You're a runaway? What does that mean?" he asked her with a worried, frustrated expression masking his face, his voice weakening. Stella turned around to look at him, trying her best to wipe her tears away.

"It means that I don't have parents. It means that I've been on my own since I was eleven. It means that I've been given so many different names by people, I don't **know **the name I was born with, alright?" she spat back in his face, her blue eyes similar to a scalding blue flame. Kendall was taken aback by her fierce attitude as Stella looked for something aimlessly around the counter, Kendall on the other side, his mouth open in shock.

"Bu-but, you live next door. You live with your parents, Gina and John who don't like stargazing, and you left me this morning to sneak in before they realized they were gone—" Kendall stumbled out, flawed and puzzled, as if repeating her lies would somehow make them less real. He moved around the counter feverishly to where she was, as Stella stopped her movements and looked into Kendall's green eyes, ablaze with fear and confusion, heavy with sadness. Stella swallowed hard and bit her lip, tears falling down her cheeks again.

"I live in that house by breaking into it through the storm cellar. It's abandoned. There is only cold water, there is no heat, or electricity, and there are no parents that tell me when to go to bed. I live there, by myself, alright? I live there because I don't **have **anywhere else to go," Stella cried incredulously, her lips quivering, her voice sounding desperate and angry. Kendall looked at the battered, torn, independent girl in front of him. He was silent.

"I'm sorry, Kendall Knight. I should've never kissed you on the deck," Stella said sadly, the lie burning her tongue painfully. Kendall's eyes got wide at her statement, as the blonde shakily cleaned up her spotless work station with fumbling hands. How could she possibly say that? While Kendall had this feeling for Stella he just couldn't explain, he knew it wasn't a one way street. It couldn't be. There was NO way. Not after that kiss, not after her appearance last night on the deck. Not after all the other kisses they shared under the blanket Stella had brought with her last night. Not after the twenty four hours, which seemed like years to Kendall, would she **dare** even _slightly _allude to that kiss not happening. They were meant to kiss on the deck. They were meant to fall into each other's lives. It was at that moment, Kendall realized Stella needed him, just as much as he needed her. Maybe even more.

"You're nothing more than a visitor, I'm nothing more but a runaway," Stella said, her voice breaking. It was hard to lie, but she had to. She could not draw Kendall to her anymore than she already had. It was selfish of her, and she figured it pointless. She had been through countless, heartless foster families where no one had loved her. Why would anyone start now?

"You don't mean that," Kendall said to her sternly, moving closer to her, his face full of worry, eyebrows knitted. Soft tears continued rolling down Stella's rosy cheeks as she bit her bottom lip white. Kendall took her hands in his easily, feeling that firework again, hoping it would put a bit of sense into the girl. "You don't mean that one bit," Kendall declared angrily with alive green eyes. Stella swatted his hands away and turned her back to him, busying herself with a small mess on the counter in front of her.

"Yes I do," Stella whispered coldly, closing her eyes, not wanting to see the impact of the ruthless lie she had told him. Here she was, telling the one boy who she hadn't gone a minute about thinking about since laying her eyes on him, that what they had shared was just some careless action of hers. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life Kendall Knight, and you're one of them," she barely got out. Each lie seemed to come harder and harder from her lips, as Kendall's heart broke in half with each of them. He hadn't talked in a few seconds; Stella's back still turned to him. She was terrified to face him. Not because of his yelling, not because of his anger.

Stella didn't want to have to look in the eyes of the boy she felt could change everything, and see his heart slowly falling to pieces—all because of her.

"No, you don't, Stella. I'm not a mistake, and I **know** I am not a mistake," Kendall said confidently and frustrated, stepping forward, his jaw set still, his eyes shining green, his eyebrows rising with emphasis. Stella was silent, as she swallowed the large lump in her throat.

"You've known me for twenty-four **fucking **hours, Kendall Knight. Don't _act_ like you've known me all along," she yelled at him softly, tears dripping out of her eyes, her voice strong with anger. Kendall looked at her with sad, defeated and horrified eyes. He was silent. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. All he could do was tell her what he was feeling.

"I-I love you," he muttered out silently, his face softening. Stella swallowed hard and shook her head, tears dripping from her eyes. He had trapped her into a corner. She wanted to say 'I Love You Too, Kendall Knight' and fall into his arms, and kiss those beautiful, soft, wet lips she had so yearned for since departing from him on the deck last night. But she couldn't. No one could love her. Kendall had to be lying to her. There was no possible way someone could ever love her, never the less, fall for her in such a short time. Did she even really want love in the first place?

Her heart tried to control her lips, begging her not to say what she had to. Both teenagers' heartbeats picked up in their chests for different reasons. Stella licked her lips and looked down, biting her lip. She turned around and looked at Kendall's twisted expression, which nearly killed her.

"You don't love me, Kendall Knight. And I don't love you," she bit her lip, crying. Kendall took a sharp breath in, as if someone had just powerfully punched him in the stomach. He swallowed hard, his green eyes locked on her blue ones. Stella felt a knife go through her heart, as she shook her head shamefully. Kendall felt like in the moment she said she didn't love him, everything he knew was somehow gone. He had thought he'd been sure about both of their feelings. He was sure that Stella loved him, the way he loved her. It was true, it was real, and it was all Kendall had been thinking about. The boy had gotten a hard on from just thinking of her kisses for God's sakes. And now here she was, telling him it was a mistake, and that it wasn't true?

Kendall couldn't handle it.

He swallowed heavily and angrily, and quickly darted for the entrance of the General Store, violently and powerfully pushing the door wide open, and storming out onto the sidewalk. Kendall stuck his hands in his pockets, as he made his way back to the Tregger's, the cold wind the only thing stopping his tears.

* * *

It was near 5 o'clock when Kendall arrived home. He had immediately gone upstairs, without saying a word to his mother, Katie, Bryan or any of the Tregger's. He had gone up to their room, sat on the couch, and turned on the television, trying his best not to cry or throw a punch at the mirror that was in the corner. How could Stella say those things to him? He knew what he felt, and he knew that there something different about Stella. He didn't care if she was a runaway, or that she didn't have a name. What he had felt on the deck had been real, and while still surprised about her revelation, he didn't feel a bit different about her.

That's how he knew this was real. And he _knew_ that she felt the same way. Why else would she be so upset about telling him that she was a runaway? Stella was lying to herself, and there was no way Kendall was going to leave without her knowing it.

It was around 6:15 when dinner was served, as Kendall lay upstairs on his couch, TV off, just going over and over in his head what had happened between him and Stella—or whatever her name was. He had been surprised that no one had been up to check on him, especially his worry wart of a mother. Kendall knew that when he walked into the kitchen for breakfast this morning, and she had seen the smile on his face, she had brightened up tenfold. He was having a good time, and she could finally relax about his depressed attitude since his father's death. But now—Kendall wasn't sure if that smile was going to come back. Not now. Not when he felt this wronged. He hadn't really believed much in fate over the course of his sixteen years, especially not when his father died. Was his father supposed to be taken away from him? Was this all some elaborate plan?

Kendall shifted on the couch and sat up, running his hands through his hair confused, leaning his elbows on his knees, closing his eyes, anticipating the monster headache that was about to arrive.

Maybe Stella was right. Maybe this whole "fate" thing and "having each other in each other's lives for a reason" was some type of fluke that Kendall just wanted to believe, after nearly getting to second base with a beautiful blonde angel only hours after meeting her. Thinking about all of this hurt his head, as he hung his head and rubbed his neck aggravated. He was thinking way too much about this. He had come here to hopefully enjoy himself, instead of sulking around his barren house during the depressing holidays, looking at his mother cry while sipping tea at their empty, fatherless, kitchen table.

It was then that Kendall really wished his father was here to help him with all of this. Kristopher Knight would definitely know what to do. Kendall and his father had always been open with each other about problems involving "guy stuff". Touchy topics such as girls, drinking, drugs, and sex were always addressed between the two Knight men with ease and comfort over a simple Wild game, or when the two went to shoot pucks down at the rink together. It made Kimberly Knight at peace knowing that even if her son wasn't telling_ her_ certain things, that her husband had control and knowledge of Kendall's actions. But now—since February, Kendall could've stolen cars, sold drugs and had a wife. She had no idea what her son was up to, and frankly—it killed her inside. She knew Kendall wasn't comfortable sharing certain things with her, but since Kris died, he had been a closed book, and it worried her to no end.

Kendall was broken from his distressed, upset position on the couch when his mother kneeled in front of him, with a concerned look on her face, touching his knee gently.

"Baby," she said softly, brining her hand to his chin. Kendall looked up at his mother and swallowed hard. He had been so lost in his own thoughts about Stella and then his father; he hadn't even noticed her calling him for dinner from the doorway of their room. Upon not answering and due to his position on the couch, he figured his mother was worried. Kendall swallowed hard and took a troubling breath, his green eyes uneasy. He looked sick and bothered. Kim gently ran her fingers through her sons' hair with a concerned look on her face.

"Are you alright, Kendall?" she asked him softly, her face twisted with nerves, bringing her hand from his face down to his forearm.

Kendall tried his best to buck up and took a deep breath in, his voice shaky from his hidden tears.

"I'm **fine**," he said coldly, getting up from the couch, leaving his mother kneeling on the floor upset. She had thought that maybe he would've opened up to her about everything, especially since the change from the way he had acted this morning to now. But no luck. Kendall stood in the middle of the room, pacing, looking down at his feet, trying his best to keep everything inside. He was an emotional, ticking, time bomb.

"Kendall, what's the matter?" she asked again, her voice tired and frustrated. Kendall stopped pacing and looked up at his mother, a tear falling down his face. He knitted his brows together in anger, his fists balled up at his sides. He was getting angrier and angrier by the second. This wasn't even about Stella anymore. This was about everything. This was about how his mother constantly tried to help him, and as much as he wanted her hugs, and her kisses on the forehead, he couldn't break down. He couldn't show feeling. He was afraid to let his mom know just how depressed he really was inside. She didn't need to worry about him anymore; little did he know that's all she had been doing the past few months.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm **fine**!" he barked at his mother. Kim looked taken aback at her son's angriness and hostile behavior towards her. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but she could tell something was eating away at her son, and she knew that this Christmas was going to be especially tough on both of her children, Kendall the most.

Kim neared her son in the middle of the room, watching the small tear fall down his cheek, to his jaw line, to the floor. "You are _not_ fine, sweetheart. Look at you," she cried upset, her own eyes starting to get a bit moist.

She hated seeing him like this. She had been able to put up with it for months, praying each night that he would come around and talk to her, talk to someone. She knew that he missed his father, and she knew that she would never be able to replace him. But this—something was wrong here.

"Just leave me the fuck alone," Kendall yelled at her, his green eyes shining with more tears, and vivid images of anger. Kimberly Knight didn't expect her son to lash out this severely. Now, she had to take control. She didn't even care that he had basically just cursed her out. All she wanted him to do was fall into her arms, and show some emotion instead of denying it like he had been for so long.

"You've been like this for _months_, Kendall," she said shakily, nearing him with a crazed, upset look in her eyes. "I've been worried sick about you since your father died, and I'll be God**damned **if I am going to let you keep on holding everything inside until it eats you alive," she yelled, her last few words trailing off with her voice breaking from emotion.

Kendall stared at his mother, and swallowed the lump in his throat again. His lips thinned a bit and he looked down to the floor, ready to bawl. Everything was wrong right now. What a difference from this morning. This morning, he was at peace with his father's death, and he had talked to Stella all about it. He had a great day with Bryan and his friends playing hockey, and actually felt good for once.

But now, he was alone again. And it hit him more than he had ever imagined.

Kendall tried his best not to let his mother see him cry, his head down, his bangs covering his eyes. He took a seat on the bed next to him slowly, his head hung. Kim's breathing picked up as she quickly sat next to him, making sure her hand rested on his thigh for support, as one arm immediately went around him, and he coldly leaned into her. He hadn't really broken down in front of his mother since the accident. Heck, he hadn't even shown much of any emotion since then. He didn't want to make this any harder for her or Katie than it already was. Kendall was a pro at bottling up his feelings inside until they exploded.

"It's_ alright_ to cry, Baby," whispered his mother, her own voice wavering as tears began to fall from her eyes. Kendall closed his eyes and one tear trickled out. It seemed as that tear fell, it began to get easier and easier to cry.

"I-I miss him s-so m-much," Kendall cried out, his voice strained with every sad, heart wrenching emotion she could think of. Kimberly Knight was amazed at Kendall's reaction, as he broke down sobbing in her arms. It almost seemed as if he was more upset now, than he was upon finding out that his father had been killed. Kendall buried his face into her hair, as she pulled him closer, her hand rubbing soothingly on his back, as he cried violently into her.

"It's s-s-o hard with-without him, m-m-om. He-he was my b-b-est friend," Kendall cried, his voice clouded by his heavy sobs. He swallowed hard and shook in Kim's arms, as she hugged her son close to her as she possibly could, and kissed his dusty blonde hair.

"I know, sweetheart. I know it's hard, but it's alright to cry, and it's alright to miss him, Kendall," she said shakily, trying her best to keep somewhat strong for her son. "I miss him every single day." Kendall looked up at his mother like a little five year old boy, as she wiped his eyes and tried her best to smile.

"But you are growing up so fast into the man your father was, Baby. Looks and personality," she said in a whisper, swallowing the lump in her throat. Kendall smiled a bit through his tears as she bit her lip, a tear sneaking down her cheek. "And I know that if he was here, he'd be _so_ proud of you, Kendall. Just like I am," Kim said in a broken voice, barely being able to finish. Kendall looked into his mothers wise, hurting and beautiful eyes and blinked, more tears falling out. Kendall said nothing as he leaned into his mother again, and she entrapped him in another hug. The mother and son stayed silent for a few minutes, the only sound heard was Kendall's sniffling.

"I love you, sweetheart," his mother said to him, softly whispering in his ear, stroking his blonde hair back. Kendall looked up at his mother with big, shining, green eyes.

"I love you too, mom," he said, his voice weakened.

* * *

The snow had begun falling even more heavily from last night to this morning. It was December 23rd, two days until Christmas, one day until Christmas Eve, and the preparations had begun. While Katie, Serena, Kim and Jenny were cooped up in the kitchen all day, baking—and eating—cookies, brownies, and other holiday treats, Bryan, his father and Kendall had taken to the cold, crisp air outside, to shovel the enormous driveway the Tregger's had. While this could be very easy by the use of the Tregger's snow blower, the men had decided to shovel, not caring much about the cold weather and doing everything possible to avoid having to be in the kitchen.

"Rybran, can you pass that shovel?" Mr. Dave Tregger asked of his platinum blonde son. Bryan handed the shovel over to his father and continued digging alongside Kendall.

"Rybran?" he asked, with a cocked eyebrow. Bryan sighed let out a small laugh.

"When I was like four, I couldn't spell my name, and I always spelled it R-Y-B-R-A-N, and my whole family started to call me Rybran—and it's kind of stuck with my dad all thirteen years," Bryan said rolling his eyes. Kendall chuckled and looked down, beginning to shovel again. Kendall's dad had always called him sport. He remembered his first day of freshmen year, his father had called him that before he had gotten out of the car, and Kendall told him now that he was in high school, it was a bit too childish for him to be called that. Kris understood of course, but still felt a bit upset as he watched Kendall meet up with Carlos, James and Logan slowly walk into the huge high school, growing up before his own very eyes.

Kendall would've done anything these days to hear his father call him Sport—or any nickname his heart desired.

After his talk with his mother last night, he had skipped dinner and taken comfort on the couch, snuggling up in the red and white blankets, trying to doze off to sleep, before his migraine arrived. It had worked luckily, and Kendall woke up this morning, not as chipper as the last morning of course, but somewhat happy, and at peace with himself. He had anxiously offered to help Bryan and Dave shovel the driveway, no questions asked.

He looked over at how Dave and Bryan were carbon copies of another. Same friendly smile, same platinum blonde hair, striking blue eyes. It was a bit scary how much they looked alike. They both seemed perfect in every sense of the word. They both had good personalities, were very kind, very competitive and caring. Heck, they were even shoveling snow in unison, as Kendall came to think of it. He stood up for a second, and stretched out his back and neck when he looked next door at the empty, vacant house. He wondered if Stella was inside, what she was doing, and if she was thinking about him. God knows that Kendall was thinking about her every second he wasn't thinking about his father.

Kendall turned back to Bryan and Dave who were laughing about something, all father son like. He needed a bit of break, so a fib would perhaps work.

"I'll be right back, I have to use the bathroom," Kendall said, as Dave and Bryan nodded, and continued their conversation. Kendall let the shovel fall in the snow and turned his back to the Tregger's. He went to the side of the house, where the side door was and noticed something strange.

He looked down and saw a trail of foot prints in the snow, leading up to the chest of deck furniture, where Stella would always hop up on to get to the deck. They were small, delicate and definitely hers. Kendall smiled to himself. Had she come on the deck last night, expecting him to be out there? Kendall's heart rate picked up a bit as he followed them with his eyes, through the fir trees, a few yards to the storm cellar. He looked both ways and slowly began to descent towards the house with a smile on his face. Stella had wanted to see him. He knew it.

He got to the storm cellar, making sure no one was around and quietly opened it. He looked down and saw mostly darkness, while the bright snow and sky from outside illuminated it the slightest bit.

"Stella?" he whispered into the darkness. There was no answer. He slowly creeped down the wooden stairs, into the dark basement. Kendall a bit scared, but knowing that no one lived in this house, except her, made it a bit less scary for him. He breathed into his hands, since the house had no heat it was basically just as cold as the outside.

"Stella?" he called to her again. He made his way through the empty basement, and found a staircase leading up the house. He made his way up it, looking around at where she lived. It wasn't dark out because of the light from the sky, but there were no lights. There was barely any furniture. The walls were painted a frosty, cold blue. This house looked more like a jail cell than anything else.

"Stella?" Kendall called out again, reaching what he thought to be the kitchen, due to the nice granite countertops and disconnected refrigerator. His voice echoed through the empty hallways, and bounced off the wood floors. He shuddered again and blew in his hands, as his heavy footsteps traveled down the hallway. He heard the small sniffles of a girl coming from the last room. It had to be her.

"Stella," Kendall called again, making his way to the last, huge room at the end of the hallway. As he looked into the room, he saw Stella under a pile of blankets, shivering in her jacket and scarf, looking out the window, which had a perfect view of the Tregger's deck. This is how she had seen him. It was true. She couldn't see any stars from the window or deck outside of her room. Stella turned around, her eyes red and puffy, tears streaking her face. Kendall looked at her in awe, as she stood up, clutching the blankets to her. He couldn't speak, his breaths heavy as he neared her.

"You weren't on the deck last night," she said softly, her voice cracking. Kendall swallowed hard and nodded.

"I know," he said regretfully, his eyes heavy. "But we need to talk," he said, to the beautiful, broken, crying girl in front of him.

* * *

**Hm, this would be boring if Stella had only one secret. There is alot more to this :) Don't you worry. The fun isn't over yet.  
Stay Tuned till next week! *which may or may not be rated M* ;)**

P.S: Who do Stephen, Alex, Jake and Bryan remind you of..respectively? ;)


	5. Letting Me In

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter of Hooked. Please tell me what you think in a review! They mean alot to me :)**

**THIS CHAPTER IS OVER 8,000 WORDS :D**

- I've gotten alot of inquiries unto how Stella survives in the house all alone, and why she had water. Remember all this is a story, and while trying to make it as realistic as I possibly can, sometimes little things slip my mind and my imagination takes over. No, there will be no unicorns and ponies in here, but Stella's house has no electricity, and only a minimal amount of cold ice water. Anything she has food wise, or object wise is assumed that she bought in town. Remember folks, she DOES have a job at the General Store, and does make money :D

Next week's chapter WILL be rated M. You're in for a treat!

Please look at the end of the chapter for my shoutouts! :D This chapter is dedicated to _waterwicca_ **because the former half of it takes place on her birthday, December 23rd! :D**

I do not own BTR, only Stella and the Treggers.

* * *

_Chapter Five: Letting Me In_

Kendall and Stella just stared at each other for a good fifteen seconds before either of them said anything. Stella then sat down again, facing the window, trying her best to hide her tears, even though it was no use. She didn't want to cry in front of Kendall, not again. She didn't want to look weak, not after what had happened in the General Store. She was stupid to think that Kendall wouldn't come back, looking for answers. She knew Kendall Knight. He was stubborn, hard headed, dangerously passionate and the most amazing person she had ever met.

"I don't want to talk right now," Stella said upset, her voice thick with tears. Kendall took a powerful step forward, getting frustrated. Stella had just come to see him last night on the deck, which she had openly admitted seconds ago, and now she didn't want to talk again. He was getting angry with this whole situation. She had to make up her pretty little mind, and now.

"Well you know what, I want to talk," Kendall said forcefully, his brows furrowing and his breathing heavier. Stella said nothing in response, as Kendall licked his lips and went over to her. His mind started spinning and unraveling as he looked at how broken and upset Stella looked. Her blue eyes weren't sparkling, her smile was nonexistent and she looked cold, and miserable.

"I wanna know why you think the way you do, Stella. I want to know what's going on here. You say you're a runaway, that you have no parents. You live in this," Kendall said pausing, looking around the barren room, with just a mattress, blankets, and a small space heater in the corner, unplugged, "this abandoned house all alone, I-I don't get it," Kendall breathed out heavily, his heart racing, his breaths coming so hard and heavy, his whole entire face was surrounded with the fog. He wasn't even making sense with his words at the moment, but his heart pushed them up out of his throat with every beat. He needed to talk. If he didn't talk, he would cry.

"You don't need to know what's going on, Kendall Knight," Stella said stoically, not gazing her eyes to his, or anything of the sort. Kendall bit his bottom lip, his anger rising. He wasn't angry at Stella, of course not. He was just so frustrated at her from keeping this from him, when the two had been so open with each other, emotionally and physically two nights before. Why couldn't she just let him into her life? He obviously didn't care if she was a little messed up, or an orphan, or whatever the hell she was. He loved her for everything she was. And she was perfect.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Stella?" he lashed out at her with angry, green eyes. She finally looked up at him, with sad eyes, surprised at his attitude. Kendall's chest heaved up and down with passion, and anger, his eyes locked on hers.

"You're being-you're being selfish!" Kendall exclaimed angrily at her, stumbling over his own words. Stella looked up at him confused, but not angry. She just gazed at him with wide eyes, listening to him rant on and on. "You're not letting me in. I let you in, now it's your turn to let me in," he yelled, his voice powerful, and full of passion as if she didn't understand. Stella totally understood.

She knew exactly what Kendall was talking about. She knew so much about him from just that one talk. They had looked into each other's eyes, sitting under the warm, tan blanket on the snowy deck, talking softly, taking in each other's hot breath and soft, moist lips. It was one of the nicest nights Stella could remember in her life.

She knew about his father's death, the first time he was stood up on a date by Hannah Trickmen, his first kiss with Georgina Retts, and how he was the only sophomore starter on his Duluth High hockey team to name a few. Stella had a mind for detail, and she hadn't forgotten anything the boy had told her about himself in the past three days. She should've known he'd get curious about her. And now that he knew she was a runaway, she had a feeling she wasn't going to be able to keep her secrets anymore.

Eventually, Kendall Knight was going to find out _everything_ about her complicated life. And it scared her to death.

Silence. "You think you want me to let you in, but you don't. You really don't," Stella spoke softly, her voice cracking, her head hung down, and blonde tresses hanging over her soft, delicate face. Kendall swallowed hard, his feet planted firmly on the ground. He was torn between anger, frustration, sympathy and empathy for the cold, fragile, blonde angel that sat in front of him. He didn't know what to do.

He took a knee quickly, and immediately brought his cold, gloved hands to Stella's icy white face. He looked in her eyes intently, breathing heavily, adrenaline pumping from his rage. She looked near tortured, and not like herself as she clutched the blanket to her chest. Kendall didn't want to see her like this. This wasn't how Stella usually was.

"I don't know what is going on here, Stella. I don't _know _about your life, or why you ran away, or who you really are," Kendall whispered to her lips, a hot tear slowly falling out of her eye. Kendall leaned in with a saddened face and pressed his lips to the fallen tear, as her face tensed up even more, more tears cascading from her face. "But I want to know," he mumbled, his lips and hand at her wet cheek, his left hand enlaced in hers.

"I can't let you in, Kendall Knight," she cried out, her voice thick with tears. His thumb stroked her face, as she reached her hands up to his neck, resting them at the nape. "I want to so bad. I just can't," she choked back, swallowing the lump in her throat. Kendall's heart beat faster, and he immediately leaned down, placing a soft, suckling kiss on her lips, and then pulling away with a concerned look. He didn't understand Stella. He didn't understand her situation, or the way she was acting, how she had no name, and why he felt so attached and strong to her since that night on the deck. But to Kendall, it didn't matter. He loved her, and that was all there was to it. They had met on the deck for a reason. She had been up there that night for a reason, and had pried into his life for a reason. They had kissed for a reason, and felt sparks for a reason.

They were supposed to be together. They were meant to be together. Kendall was sure of it.

When in her presence, everything made sense. When he was upset, just thinking about her soft face and her beautiful blue eyes put the poor boy over the moon. He loved her. He really loved her. And he didn't even know her real name. It had come to the point where Kendall felt like he couldn't be separated from her not only in distance, but emotionally. There was a wall Stella had built between them for whatever reason she had, but Kendall needed to knock it down. He needed all of Stella's love in return, something she didn't know possible to give the boy.

"Yes you can," he muttered out with a confident smile, as he kissed her lips one more. Kendall parted from her slowly and looked in those broken eyes which seemed to light up a bit each time their lips touched. He knew he hadn't been crazy. He didn't care how long it took to fully capture her heart. Minutes, hours, days, months, years. He just wanted to get to the other side of whatever separated them.

He needed to get to the other side.

* * *

Kendall had left Stella in the cold, lonely, broken house, having to get back to shoveling with the Tregger's before they got suspicious of his extended bathroom break. He left her with a soft kiss on her pink lips and a promise of a warm plate of dinner upon his return later on. Kendall and Stella needed to talk, and he figured it would be a nice gesture of him to bring her over a plate of hot food, seeing as the poor girl had been living in a house with no microwave, or any cooking appliance. He could only imagine what kind of cold, disgusting food she had been eating.

It was around 7 o'clock, all the plates had been cleared from the last small, intimate dinner of the holiday, which Kendall didn't partake in. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and everyone in the Tregger house was tidying up the giant for the mounds of company that were staying over into Christmas day the next night. Bryan was cleaning out all the guest rooms, Jenny the bathrooms, Dave was fixing the Christmas lights outside in the cold harsh winter, Mrs. Knight was cleaning the kitchen, and Katie and Serena were folding napkins and polishing cutlery. It seemed that everyone was so busy trying to make the huge house so pristine after cooking and shoveling all day, they didn't even notice Kendall slip out the back door with two large plates of leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, corn and salad, covered in aluminum foil. He had told everyone he felt ill, and was going to stay upstairs halfway through the feast, Kendall having eaten just a few small pieces of sourdough bread. Luckily, with the oncoming chaos of Christmas time, and at least forty guests, he knew no one would come up and check on him.

Bundled up in his beanie, a sweater and his winter jacket, he held the plates close to him, careful not to drop them as he trudged through the snow, through the terrifying fir trees at the start of the forest, his half-gloves not really helping him all that much with the bitter cold.

He made his way to the storm cellar of Stella's house, opening it and stepping down the creaky wooden stairs, the chill from outside shivering down his spine, closing it behind him. He made his way up the dark basement stairs into the large, empty house, just as he had done earlier in the day.

"Stella?" he called out, coming out into the long hallway. He shivered again, holding the food tight to him as he heard her soft, gentle footsteps on the wood floor behind him. Kendall turned around and saw Stella there with a small, nervous smile on her face. Her blonde hair tied back into a loose messy bun wearing sweats and two sweaters. She slowly glided herself over to him with a smile, as Kendall smiled back, holding up the food with a chuckle.

"I hope you like turkey, mashed potatoes, corn and salad," he said with a chuckle. Stella looked up at him with bright shining eyes, and he could practically see her mouth drooling. He wondered when the last time she had actually had real food was as he made his way over to the kitchen and set the food down on the granite countertop. He took off his hat, pushing his hair back as Stella looked at the food, with weird, awkward eyes. She looked back up at him and Kendall's face scrunched up a bit worried.

"What's the matter? Do you not like turkey?" he asked with a small chuckle, taking off his gloves. Stella nodded no and played with the aluminum foil covering the sumptuous feast in front of her. She didn't answer him, but looked at the plates intently with curious, wide eyes. Kendall looked at her a bit oddly, and touched her hand gently, where she looked up at him confused a bit.

"What's wrong?" he asked her softer, approaching her with sad, heavy, green eyes. Stella looked at the plates, and then back into Kendall's eyes.

"I just—I haven't really, eaten well in such a long time. I feel bad stealing food from the Tregger's. I feel like a scavenger," she said a bit perturbed at her own words. Kendall nodded no, and took the foil off the top plate, revealing the delicious, colorful food items before Stella's shining blue eyes. How could she ever think that?

"Don't think that way, Stella. They had a lot of leftovers, and you haven't eaten well in God knows how long. You deserve a hot meal," he said softly, his eyes locked on hers. Stella looked up at Kendall and smiled brightly at him. Her eyes went back to the food, her usual arched expression matching Kendall's showed up on her face.

"You got me two plates of food?" she asked quizzically, with a chuckle added on at the end. Kendall let out a laugh.

"Well, I didn't eat at dinner, because I figured we could have dinner together," he said with a goofy, wide smile on his face. "So one is for you, and one is for me," he said proudly, taking the foil, off the second plate. Stella smiled widely at how much the boy truly cared for her. She hadn't remembered the last time she eaten with someone else—she hadn't remembered the last time she really ate well at all. Kendall pulled two forks and knifes out of his pocket and placed them on the countertop with a clank.

"I didn't know if you had utensils," he said, a tad embarrassed. Stella chuckled and took both plates of food in her hands.

"Come on," she whispered lightly, leading him to the dining room just a few yards away, with a large, long, table in the center. It was really the only other piece of furniture in the entire house Kendall could see except an old couch or two in the living room. He shivered again from the coldness, and blew into his hands, steam coming from his mouth as Stella set the plates down on the table, him sitting at the head, and her next to him.

"How do you stay in here when it's so cold?" he asked her, sitting down next to her at the table with a chuckle. Kendall sat in the cold, rigid, uncomfortable chair next to Stella, whose smile hadn't stopped since he'd arrived. He knew she was happy. And it made him ecstatic.

"I usually spend all my time in the bedroom in the back. I have a space heater back there that I bought with my money from work," she said, as if she was talking about some new dress she had wanted and saved up for. It was then Kendall realized, Stella wasn't a teenager in mind. She was definitely older than that, using her wages from work for the things she needed to survive. Kendall's paycheck from Sherwood's was constantly used on hockey equipment, hockey tickets, and hockey jerseys, due to the luxury he had of his mother's paycheck keeping a roof over his head . And here was Stella, barely just getting by, all by herself with no one to take care of her. Maybe that was one of things that drew Kendall to her so much. The fact that maybe, he could be that one person to take care of her. The one person she could nestle and cry into, when being alone and taking care of herself didn't work out.

Stella bit her lower lip as she picked around the delicious, hot food with her fork, deciding what to eat first. It was then Kendall decided that over this delicious, stolen dinner, he was going to have to start up some sort of conversation about Stella's life. He needed answers, desperately.

"So, are you going to explain this whole runaway thing to me, or not?" Kendall asked a bit nervously but playfully, shoveling some salad into his mouth. Stella, who had just taken a heaping of mashed potatoes slowly slid the fork out between her lips, and looked down, as if she were trying to contemplate something. She looked up at Kendall and sighed a bit nervously. She decided he deserved to know some. He had brought her a hot dinner, they had kissed on numerous occasions, and he had opened up to her about his father's death, something he definitely had been struggling with. It was only fair. Stella would tell him some, but definitely _not_ all.

Nevertheless, it seemed like her heart called out to Kendall for some reason. Every time he was around, her heart beat faster, she became self-conscious of herself, and she got lost in those green eyes each time she looked in them. Stella wasn't aware of the symptoms that were featured in glossy teen magazines under the article heading "You Know It's A Crush When," and even if she had, this wasn't a crush. The connection between Kendall and Stella was one that some people don't even see in their lifetimes. It was some feeling Stella hadn't been remotely familiar with, and she didn't know how to handle it. It was love.

"You're _that_ interested in my life, Kendall Knight?" she said slyly, twisting the fork between her fingers. Kendall smiled widely and looked down, his smile truly infectious to all those around him. Stella's lips curled up into a grin as well as he nodded.

"Well yes," he chuckled, taking a small piece of turkey in his mouth. "I would really like to know more about the girl I love," Kendall said after swallowing, raising his eyebrows expressively. Stella blushed at the word again, quite hesitant to say it back. She didn't know what love was, and she couldn't even fathom the thought of someone loving her, especially someone as perfect as Kendall. It made her heart beat so fast, she nearly thought it would explode. Stella knew she felt something for Kendall, something that she hadn't ever felt before—but she had no idea what sort of feeling it was or how to label it. Kendall's eyes had obviously been looking for an "I love you too," or something along those lines, and when Stella didn't say it, he tried his best to understand. He had to give her time. It was all about breaking down this wall she had up. The mere fact that she hadn't reiterated and said "You don't love me, Kendall Knight," again was more than enough progress for one night.

Stella took a deep breath and licked her lips a bit nervously. "I've been on my own since I'm eleven," she said. Kendall nodded, listening intently, as Stella's breaths came a bit heavier, and slower. She was obviously nervous, and not used to telling this story. She looked up at Kendall with saddened eyes, looking like she was about to cry. Kendall immediately took his right hand in her left, and enlaced his fingers through it, letting her know he was there. She looked down at their entwined hands and smiled at the incredible warmth and firework she felt in her body, as soon as she came in contact with Kendall's touch.

Stella took another deep breath and smiled up at him a bit. "I've lived in Wisconsin, North Dakota, and Minnesota since then," she said somberly. "I usually got around hitch hiking, or just walking. I slept at bus stations, motels, I've been in soup kitchens," Stella said, looking down away from Kendall's eyes. She felt as every horrible situation she listed, Kendall was becoming more and more hesitant with her, but she was wrong. With each place she listed, Kendall squeezed her hand tighter and tighter. It was almost as if he was making sure she was real. She looked up at him with sad eyes and tight pursed lips as he ran his finger over the back, soft skin of her hand. He had no upset, or disgusted reaction like she had expected. He just wanted to listen.

"I ended up here about a year ago, and found this house, and—and I don't know. I live here now," she said quietly. She then fell completely silent, and he figured he wouldn't pry her for my answers on that subject. It seemed the most sensitive. He remembered their first night on the deck, when he had asked about her foster care situation and how her eyes had dropped, along with her smile. He didn't want to see that again.

"What about your name? Stella?" he asked lightly, with a smile. Stella took a deep breath and smiled, looking up at the sky. Kendall looked up with her and chuckled, arching an eyebrow.

"I never really knew my own name. I picked it because of them," she said, motioning her chin up to the sky.

"The…ceiling?" he asked her confused. Stella chuckled and squeezed Kendall's hand gently.

"No. The stars," she said softly. Kendall leaned into her confused as she arched an eyebrow at him.

"Stellar?" she asked him knowingly. Kendall still looked a bit confused as she sighed playfully.

"I picked Stella, because it sounds like Stell_ar_. You know, like the stars. Stellar is defined as pertaining to the brilliance and shine of the stars," she airily said in a breath, like it was the best information she had ever told anyone. Kendall smiled widely at her cleverness, and how beautifully she explained it. The way her lips moved into a small smile when talking about the stars captivated Kendall's mind in ways he could never explain. The name fit her so well, her blonde hair shining radiantly, along with her smile, and those blue eyes.

"That's sexy," Kendall said outright, the filter in his head apparently not working. His cheeks immediately flushed a bit as Stella chuckled, and blushed a bit as well. It wasn't that he was embarrassed about saying that it was sexy, he just felt it was insensitive. Stella had obviously picked out the name after much thought, and he didn't mean to affront it.

"Well, thank you," she said chuckling. Kendall bit his lower lip and looked in her eyes which shined like the stars who she was named after.

"So did you pick it out because you like the stars?" Kendall asked her. Stella smiled and shook her head no. Kendall looked a bit confused, his thumb still stroking the soft skin on the back of her hand.

"There is so much more to it than that, Kendall Knight," she said softly, looking up at the non-existent stars. Kendall was intrigued, as he leaned even closer to her, both of them completely abandoning the warm food in front of them. She looked up at the ceiling, as if she could see the stars through the roof, even in the daylight. "They protect me. That's the only reason I'm even still alive," she whispered out to the heavens, then looking back at Kendall with a smile. Kendall smiled widely and so did she, obviously happy to talk about the subject.

"I spent so many nights lying on benches stargazing, and I learned all the constellations, and where all the stars are. It's how I found my way around the states a lot. When I would walk at night, I'd make sure to look at the stars, because they gave me light, and guidance," she said thoughtfully and in a whisper, as if it was some forbidden secret. "No matter where I was, the stars were always familiar to me. They never moved. They are always in the same place, no matter where you are. They never turned their backs on me," she said, her throat heavy, her voice wavering a bit. She swallowed hard and returned her gaze to Kendall who looked distraught with emotion.

"I picked it out because I love the stars. _They_ named **me**," she said with a smile on her face. Kendall studied her face and smiled sympathetically, touched by her story. It seemed as everything came out of her mouth just made her more and more beautiful to Kendall, and he had no idea why. He leaned into her forehead, and gently pressed a kiss to it, his hand stroking her warm face.

"I guess I have some competition," Kendall said with a small grin, resting his lips flush against Stella's warm skin. He parted his lips from her forehead and she smiled, her lips pursed together in a small smile.

"Are you up for it?" she asked him in a whisper. Kendall nodded immediately, his hand touching her soft cheek, the heat and love radiating between the two in his gentle caress.

"You betcha," he whispered softly with a smile. Stella bit her lip softly, and looked from Kendall's green eyes to his lips. She had kissed him so many times before, but had never been the one to truly initiate it. She leaned into Kendall's face confidently, her warm breath on his and gently brushed her lips against his, smacking them gently. Kendall stayed unsure and straight as Stella leaned into him, but after only a second or two, his hand went to her neck and he leaned into it, as Stella brushed her tongue over his bottom lip, requesting entrance to which Kendall granted. Stella shifted herself even more over to him, the two engrossed in a passionate lip lock.

Their bodies were perfectly aligned, as each other's soft touches created sparks on the other ones skin, their lips fitting like a lock and key. It was perfect. Kendall and Stella sadly parted a few seconds' later, stars both in of their eyes. Kendall smiled like he never had, and Stella smiled brightly as well.

"So what about you?" she asked surprisingly. Kendall looked taken aback at her question, and was a bit confused.

"What _about_ me?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. Stella chuckled at the cute, knit expression his face made whenever he was genuinely confused. It was adorable.

"I know about your father, and your ex-girlfriends, and your hockey team. But what about _you_, Kendall Knight?" Stella asked slyly. Kendall was still a bit confused.

"I-I don't know?" he chuckled questioningly, his hand still entangled in Stella's. "I've told you a lot," Kendall said unsure, thinking back to their talk on the deck. It was short-lived, only lasting an hour or two, but it was still amazing. Stella sighed and licked her lips.

"I know about your facts of life, all the boring stuff," she said chuckling. Kendall let out a chuckle as well, leaning in closer to her.

"Oh, so my life is boring now?" he asked her with squinted, expressive eyes, a coy smile on his face. Stella bit her lip and looked up at him, her voice soft as ever.

"Everyone's life is boring compared to mine," she said truthfully. Kendall studied her eyes as they starred up into a smile again. "Tell me something no one knows about you," she whispered gently, their lips moving closer. Kendall sighed deeply and looked down at his hands touching Stella's and then back up at her.

"You're _that _interested in my life, Stella?" he asked her slyly, cocking his head to the side. She smiled, her supple pink lips pursed perfectly, her freckly face drenched with curiosity. Kendall took a deep breath and nodded, looking away from her eyes nervously.

"I sing," he stated secretly as if it was a sin. His face turned a bit blush, and he looked away from Stella's eyes. She let out a slight chuckle as his face snapped back up to look at her.

"What?" he asked confused. Stella took a deep sigh, her fingers going through his like soft silk.

"I just—I was expecting more of a secret," Stella said lightly. Kendall swallowed hard and looked into her eyes. She had _no idea_ of the magnitude of Kendall's confession. Kendall Knight had a beautiful, melodious voice that rang through any room he sang in. Coupled with his guitar playing, it was something Kendall loved to do more than anything—almost as much as hockey. But no one knew it.

Kendall's singing ability was a well kept secret. Sure, his mother and Katie had heard him sing loosely in the house, but hadn't thought much of it. Logan, Carlos and James had no idea Kendall could sing as beautiful as he did, James being the "performer" of the four.

The only one who knew that he did have the voice he had was his father. And now with him gone, no one knew.

"_No one_ knows I can sing, Stella," he said dryly looking up into her eyes. "No one." Kendall looked into her eyes and she gave him a soft smile, leaning in closer to him, her face at his, not touching but just close enough.

"I do now," she said softly, with a smile across her face. Kendall bit his lip and smiled, looking down a bit embarrassed. He didn't believe that he had told this girl he had just met three days ago he had a voice, but yet not even his three best friends he'd known for years back home knew.

"I just—only my dad knew. And he would always try to get me to sing in front of people, but I was never comfortable with it," Kendall muttered out, still a bit embarrassed, his hands twisting in hers. Stella nodded and the two were silent, as Kendall's father was brought up again, obviously having an effect on him.

"Why not?" she asked simply as she possibly could. She didn't understand. Kendall swallowed hard, and cursed himself for bringing it up in the first place, regretting it for a split second. He knew she was going to pry, just like he had into her life. She was Stella after all, not just any ordinary person. He took a deep breath in and looked at her with an odd face.

"I just—I have horrible stage fright, and I'm-m self conscious," Kendall ousted out, his voice a bit weak from the confession. Here he was confessing two things nearest and dearest to his heart to Stella. And to be honest, it didn't even bother him. It felt good to tell her. It felt right to tell her. Stella leaned in, and gently suckled his bottom lip, bringing her hand to his chin and gently tilting it upward in the kiss. She parted from him with a soft smile, her heart fluttering.

"I bet you have a beautiful voice, Kendall Knight," she smiled widely. Kendall looked down and smiled a bit embarrassed, their hands still tightly embraced. "I'd love to hear it sometime," she whispered softly to his lips, so only the two of them could hear. The cold didn't matter anymore. The heat between the two lovers was unexplainably creeping up through each of their bodies. Between their emotional and physical attractions to each other, it was at the room was filled with lava. Kendall gently brushed his lips against hers, suckling every inch of her bottom lip, occasionally nipping. Stella gently moaned into the kiss, Kendall's hand moving upward on her thigh as he gently slipped his tongue into her mouth. He felt her kiss back, attempting for control in the battle but ultimately lost as Kendall's tongue lapped against hers, making her moan even more. Stella quickly broke away from the kiss, getting a bit too ahead of herself, as Kendall seemed surprised.

"I think we should eat before this goes to waste," she said chuckling, breaking the intimate moment, picking up her fork. Kendall bit his lip and looked at her, trying to hold back the huge smile on his face. It seemed like every time he kissed Stella, everything went away, and every time she said his name, it was music to his ears. She was absolutely amazing. He needed her. It was then he made a decision. He rested his hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Stella, you're coming over for Christmas Eve tomorrow," Kendall said demandingly. Stella looked up from her plate into his eyes, with a lost, confused expression her face. She chuckled a bit and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," she blurted out immediately, her voice a bit hostile. Kendall looked at her disappointedly.

"Why not?" he asked innocent as could be, his eyes heavy with sadness at her response. He knew she probably wouldn't say yes the first time, but it still hurt him a bit. Stella looked up at him with a confused, matter-of-fact face on.

"Because, I-I'm a runaway. I live in the abandoned house next door. How are you going to explain bringing a runaway over for dinner, especially to someplace as nice as the hotel the Tregger's live in," she said with an upset face on, poking at her now cold food. Kendall smiled at her, the ideas cooking up in his head amazingly fast.

"You're not going to be Stella. You'll be Kacey. The cute cashier at the General Store who kissed me in front of Bryan and his friends," Kendall said smiling smugly, stroking her hand gently. Stella looked up at him with a smile, imagining how nice it would be to spend Christmas Eve with a family. She hadn't celebrated a real Christmas Eve since—ever. She had either been in the orphanage, a negligent foster home, or out on her own the past five years. She had never experienced the lively family chatter, the old stories, the tasty food, and the exchanging of presents and smiles. It was a mere dream to her, she felt really didn't exist.

She smiled at the boy's pleading green eyes, trying to look away as to not get completely lost in them. "That's so sweet of you, but I can't. I'd feel out of place, and I barely know the Tregger's. I mean, I've seen them come into the General Store a lot—"

"Please, Stella. It would mean a lot to me," Kendall interrupted with a smile that she could barely resist. Stella swallowed hard and looked down at her food, nervously biting her lip.

"I-I don't know," she said shakily, avoiding his eyes. Kendall sighed and bit his lower lip, as he tilted her chin up to his face smiling at her.

"Well if you're not going to come, then I'm coming over here, and we'll spend Christmas Eve together huddled up in the back room, clinging together for warmth around your space heater," Kendall grinned smugly, his sage green puppy dog eyes doing their magic. Stella chuckled uneasily, and looked in his eyes biting his lip.

"Please, Stella," he said again, just above a whisper. She studied his face and smiled a bit at how caring he was towards her. Here he was, this sweet, sexy, passionate teenager boy, inviting her to spend Christmas Eve with a feast, family, and friends, and she was telling him…**no**. How nice would it be to have an actual Christmas Eve?

He leaned into her even more. "Spend Christmas Eve with me?" he asked again, slowly touching her face with his thumb. She bit her lip and looked up at him. He leaned into her face and gently brushed his lips against hers, smiling throughout the kiss, one last shot at convincing her to come. He pulled away from her lips and bit his lip nervously. She swallowed hard and smiled, hypnotized by his kiss.

"Okay. I'll come," she said softly.

* * *

Kendall nervously waited outside the kitchen, playing with his thumbs, biting his lip. His mother was in the kitchen with Jenny, baking, and he had to ask if he could have Stella as his guest this Christmas Eve. It wasn't like he thought the Tregger's were going to say no, he just was afraid of all the questions they were going to ask about Stella—and Kacey. Kendall took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen with a smile on his face.

"Mom, can I talk to you for a second?" Kendall said, approaching her at the island in the middle. Kimberly Knight was frosting the last of the cookies they had baked earlier in the day, not even bothering to look up at her son. It was near eleven o' clock and Christmas Eve was creeping up on all of them.

"Sure," she said quickly obviously in some sort of cooking frenzy. Mrs. Knight always got like this around the holidays. His father had always called it HCCS, Holiday Cooking Craziness Syndrome. Kim had a serious case of HCCS right now, and Kendall knew it. It was part of the reason he had been able to sneak out earlier to see Stella. He knew however it wasn't just HCCS, but the fact that his mother had to engross herself in something before she realized what day it was. Christmas Eve—without her husband.

"It's kinda…important," he choked out nervously, looking down awkwardly, getting his mother's full attention. Kim's head snapped up as Jenny turned around from the stove subconsciously, then quickly returning her glance to the cake she was baking for tomorrow. Kendall saw she had turned around and smiled. He needed to ask her permission first, seeing as that it was her house.

"Mrs. Tregger, I'd like to talk to you also," Kendall said sweetly, in his most polite voice ever. Jenny looked back surprised, and wiped her hands on the kitchen towel next to her with a chuckle.

"Kendall, for the millionth time, please, call me Jenny," she said approaching them. Kendall smiled warmly at the petite, beautiful, caring blonde woman as his mother looked at him confused. What did he want to talk about? Jenny stood next to Kim as Kendall took a deep breath, leaning on the island lazily.

"I-I was wondering if I could bring someone to dinner tomorrow, if-if that's alright?" he asked nervously, biting his lip. He swallowed hard as his mother looked at him confused. She had kept her eyes on Kendall almost the whole entire time they had been here, and now he had some sort of guest to bring to dinner?

"Oh sure, sweetheart! The more the merrier!" Jenny exclaimed excitedly, looking at her best friend who was still confused.

"Like—a date?" Kimberly asked her son with an arched eyebrow. Kendall looked at her with green eyes, and couldn't help but smile goofily as he nodded his head. Kim's face curled up into a surprised smile.

"You met a girl?" she asked confused and surprised, putting down her frosting utensils, as Jenny looked on with a smile. Kendall bit his lip and nodded, letting out a small chuckle, standing up straight. Jenny saw this talk as a mother son type of deal, and smiled.

"Well she is definitely welcome, Kendall," she said politely, before turning away to the other side of the huge kitchen, leaving the Knight's in private. Kendall looked down and knocked his knuckled on the counter as his mother stared him down surprised and a bit excited for her son.

"When did you meet a girl, baby? What's her name? What is she like?" Kim asked, wiping her hands of all the cookie decorating icing, and smiling at her son widely, totally engrossed in the conversation they were having. Kendall swallowed hard, trying to remember all the elaborate lies he and Stella had made up over dinner just a few short hours ago.

"Her name is Kacey. She works at the General Store. I met her when Bryan, his friends and I played hockey the other day," Kendall said sheepishly. He knew it was a bit suspicious that he had just met this girl a day ago (technically two) and was inviting her to Christmas Eve, but he didn't care. He just needed Stella there. It was important to have her there, instead of her freezing in her house, looking up at the stars all night.

"I'm just—surprised. I mean, you only met her yesterday, I mean—," Kim said stumbling over her words looking at her son. She was surprised at this and found it odd, but the true smile shone on Kendall's face, and she knew that anything to make him happy this holiday would definitely do. Kim smiled at her son and took a deep breath in.

"Is she pretty?" she asked him curiously. Kendall smiled widely and nodded his head.

"She's beautiful, mom," he said chuckling. He thought beautiful was an understatement for Stella, but he knew he would have to hold himself back from admitting he was in love from his family. He couldn't tell anyone. It would be a secret between him and Stella for now. They would think he was crazy.

Kimberly Knight smiled at her son widely, tears almost coming to her eyes. She hadn't seen Kendall this happy and excited in months, and it swelled her heart with joy. She swallowed hard and sighed.

"I can't wait to meet her, Kendall," she said smiling. Now came the interesting part.

"Yeah. Uh—is it alright if we go to her parents after dinner?" Kendall asked, nervously as could be. Kendall had decided that they also deserved time alone on Christmas Eve, and since Stella wasn't used to all the festivities and merriness that came along with Christmas, a whole entire night might boggle her out of her mind. They had agreed that after dinner they would go back to Stella's next door, and spend some time alone. Stella had promised Kendall they could star gaze as well. He was adamant about looking his competition in the eye.

Kim looked surprised at her son. "Oh?" she asked. Kendall swallowed hard and chuckled.

"Well, I—I want to spend the holiday with her, mom. We've been texting since we spoke, and I really like her. Her parents were at the General Store when we met, and they seem like really nice people. Their house is just fifteen minutes away," Kendall said, spitting out more lies than he could possibly handle. Kim looked at her son suspiciously and arched an eyebrow.

"I don't know, baby. I mean having her here is one thing, but I don't know her parents, or what type of people they are," Kimberly said, being an overprotective mother. Kendall swallowed hard and his smile fell, as did his mothers. She would do anything to make Kendall happy. She sighed deeply, knowing that he was sixteen, and that he could handle himself.

"I mean, I guess it's alright if you want to go for a little while. But I want you to make sure that you text me when you get there, and that you call me during your time there, alright?" she said demandingly. Kendall smiled widely, as he went to the other side of the counter, and kissed his mother's cheek.

"Thanks, mom," he said smiling widely, and excited expression on his face.

Kendall smiled widely before turning on one foot, and walking out of the kitchen, taking a deep sigh of relief. The plan had been set in motion and he couldn't wait to see Stella at Christmas Eve tomorrow.

* * *

December 24th. The snow outside had ceased, leaving the entire property of the Tregger's and beyond in a light, powdery, but thick covering of white snow. Kendall nervously stood in the dining room by the large fire place, as the twenty guests—that would soon grow to forty—sipped their drinks, talking about old times, pregnancies, marriages and everything in between. Kendall stood with one hand in his pocket, one hand holding a glass of hot apple cider, his body leaning against the window, green eyes cast down. Stella was to arrive any minute, and Kendall prayed that she wouldn't back out of this. He had told her to come around 7:00, and it was now 7:02. Kendall jingled the change in the pocket of his dark jeans, his red and black plaid over shirt, and black tie combo nearly strangling him. He cleared his throat and pressed his nose to window, looking out over the horizon, where there was no sign of Stella. Kendall sighed, taking a sip of warm apple cider, as he saw his mother approach him with a large smile on her face.

"Waiting for your girlfriend?" Mrs. Knight asked her son with a quaint smile. Kendall normally would have groaned at his mom for that comment, but the smile on her face was unexplainable, and it made Kendall feel good to see her happy about something. Especially this Christmas.

"Yeah," he chuckled looking down, a bit embarrassed. "And she's just a date, Mom," he lied, mumbled looking down at his feet. He didn't want to let anybody else know just how special he thought Stella actually was. It was between them. The doorbell rang, and Kendall's entire body jerked a bit, his eyes lighting up. It had to be her—or one of the other million guests expected. Kendall swallowed hard and went to the large front door, opening it slowly, his mother standing back a good distance. And there she was, standing on the porch with a bottle of sparkling cider in her hands, wrapped with a vibrant red bow, looking as beautiful as she could possibly be. Kendall's lips curled up into a large smile at seeing her.

Her blonde hair hung loosely in front of her face, which was subtly made up with light blush and eye makeup. Her pink lips pursed delicately into a small, confident smile, as she stood there, almost glowing. Kendall Knight had never seen anything so absolutely beautiful and perfect in all his life.

"Come in," Kendall said in a soft voice, his smile miles wide. Stella stepped into the house silently, Mrs. Knight's eyes on the beautiful blonde, her smile nearly as wide as Kendall's.

"Let me take your jacket," Kendall whispered to her, coming behind her with a smile, as she slipped her sleeves off.

"Thank you," she said sweetly, as his hands brushed against her bare skin, creating a small spark of heat between the two lovers. Kendall hung her old, worn, black jacket on the coat rack, running his hands over all the folds, creases and tatters on the inside of it. It must've been the only one she had. He stepped the few steps back to her side, as Stella stood on her toes and pecked Kendall on the cheek, much to his mother's approval. She had been standing close enough to watch what was going on, but far away enough to give the two teenagers privacy. Kendall blushed a bit upon her warm lips at his cheek, as Stella turned to him with the bottle in her hands.

"You didn't have to bring anything, Stella," Kendall whispered a bit perturbed that she had actually gone out and bought something with money she needed to survive. Stella shrugged and looked up at Kendall with a small smile.

"I'm getting free dinner two nights in a row. It was the least I could do," she said smiling. Kendall smiled back at her and bit his lip, looking up and down her couture and beautiful, angelic face.

"You look beautiful," he said chuckling, his eyes wandering up and down her body, his lust growing with desire, moving closer to her. It would be hard to keep his cool tonight, especially with the beautiful red sweater, dark jeans and boots Stella was wearing. It was so odd. If you had looked at her, you would never think that she lived alone in a humongous cold house, with only one room heated. He wondered how she had dressed up so nicely for the occasion.

"You look cute yourself, Kendall Knight," she said playfully giving him a wink. Kendall bit his lip and swallowed hard; wanting to kiss her with all the passion he had in him. He would save it for later, when they were alone, and he could kiss those lips all he wanted to. Kendall took a deep breath and looked into Stella's eyes, smiling widely.

"Ready to enjoy Christmas Eve, Kacey?" he said with a small, hesitant smile, reaching his hand out to her. Stella nodded and took his hand in hers, the firework exploding once again.

"You betcha," she said coyly.

* * *

**Like usual, check out waterwicca's Past The Sorrow and EPIC Kendall/OC that has a LONG way to go. You will NOT be disappointed folks.**

And check out gleechild's story Big Time Demise it has SUCH a unique, refreshing, angsty, awesome storyline and you will NOT be disappointed!


	6. Christmas Eve

**A/N: Merry Christmas Eve to everyone! I decided that since it is Christmas Eve in Stella and Kendall's world, that I would post this Christmas Eve in our time. So consider this a Christmas Eve present! I hope that you guys will still get around to review though, cause of course I love hearing from you :)**

**This story is now rated Mature, and if you aren't comfortable, there is limited Mature content in the first half, and full Mature content in the second half. You'll know when to skip parts if you don't feel comfortable reading.**

**Make sure to check out **_casblancasx3_** stories! (she has a whole bunch)  
Make sure to check out **_tawniee's_** story Coffe Break**  
**And of _COURSE _check out **_waterwicca's _**Past The Sorrow which gets updated tomorrow on Christmas**!

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!**

I dont own BTR, only Stella and the Treggers.  


* * *

_Chapter Six: Christmas Eve_

"So why in the **world** are you dating my _brother_?"

Ten year old Katie Knight held nothing back at the Tregger's animated dinner table. She had been infatuated with the fact that Kendall had brought a girl here, nevertheless a girl who looked like she stepped right of the pages of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. She had been bugging the couple all night, and Stella had yet to fault to his mothers prying questions, and his sisters rude advances.

"Katie," her mother said sharply, directing her gaze from the piece of bread she was buttering to her daughter beside her, eyes angry. Katie shrugged and Stella gave a slight chuckle, her hand tightly clasped in Kendall's, resting on his thigh at the table. Luckily, Kendall was a lefty, Stella a righty. Just another sign they were meant for each other.

"So we're _dating_ now?" Stella asked with a raised eyebrow and playful smirk geared at Kendall. Kendall bit his lower lip in a smile and took a deep breath, raising his eyebrows and then looking back at Stella.

"Maybe," he chuckled out. Stella looked at Katie and smiled. She could see the same, hard-headed stubbornness that ran through the Knight family. Even though Katie had big brown eyes, and darker brown hair, Stella could see the resemblance between the older brother and younger sister more and more as the night went on. The way they dove headfirst into conversations, their hand movements being so animated, and how their eyebrows could move into all fantastical shapes. Stella had always wondered what it would be like to have a sister or a brother.

"But why…_him_?" she said as if the word was laced with venom, her hands flailing out to Kendall. "I mean, you're _so_ pretty Kacey," Katie said with the most honest expression Stella had ever seen. Luckily, she had been responding quite quickly to her new name the hour she had been here. Kendall scoffed at Katie and gave her an expression eyes squinted, eyebrows furrowed.

"Excuse me, Baby sister, but I'm **right** here," he exclaimed teasingly offended. Katie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest, sitting back in the chair.

"Your brother is a gentleman, Katie. And very sweet, and sensitive, and kind," Stella said, her gaze turning to Kendall's, a starry look in her eyes. "And adorable."

Katie let out a groan as Kim chuckled, looking down at her daughter's disgust of anything involving lovey-doveyness. Kendall smiled at Stella and didn't know what to think. In the past hour she had met his mom and was talking to his family, along with the Tregger's family, like she was some normal, rich girl living in this great, wealthy, luxurious house fifteen minutes away. No one would have guessed she was some runaway who ate cold, soggy cereal at night. And until he looked in her eyes for that split second, Kendall himself had forgotten as well.

As dinner was brought out by Jenny, and a few of her blood-related minions from the kitchen, the long table, at which the Knights and Stella were seated at the end, broke out in chatter, napkins folded onto laps, cups clinking, silverware in hand. It was a feast for a king. Turkey, fish, potatoes, gourmet pizzas, every vegetable you could fathom, bread, soup, salad. Everything you could ever want to eat on Christmas Eve sat on the long banquet table, all forty seven guests surrounding it and diving right into it.

Kendall, being the gentleman he was, had filled Stella's plate with a sumptuous feast first, then his own, as he finally sat back down at his designated spot on the table, his hand immediately falling into Stella's upon contact with the chair. As the two ate, ever so often laughing at one of Katie's witty remarks, or old stories from Mrs. Knight, their hands still remained tightly encased in one another under the table, resting on Kendall's thigh.

It was about halfway through the meal, when Kendall felt Stella's warm, delicate hand loosen in his. He seemed surprised, and as she took her hand away from his, it made his body ache a bit. The warm feeling of her body had totally vanished as she pushed her long, beautiful golden blonde hair back, Kendall frowning a bit. Stella quickly laughed at something Mrs. Knight had said, and then rightfully put her hand back on Kendall's thigh. He took a deep breath, realizing she had returned. He tightly encased his hand in hers again, giving it a small squeeze. It was then, Kendall again felt Stella wriggle her hand from his grasp, quite anxiously. He sighed, expecting the sudden loss to overcome his body with disappointment, but instead, her hand gently travelled up his thigh slowly. Kendall was a bit confused, using his left hand to slowly shovel a helping of corn between his lips, when Stella's hand moved even higher on his thigh. Kendall coughed loudly, choking on the corn a bit, as Mrs. Knight looked oddly at him, with an arched eyebrow.

"You okay?" she asked curiously. Kendall looked at Stella, who seemed totally oblivious to where her hand was. Kendall took a deep breath in and cleared his throat, looking at his mother with a nervous smile on his face.

"I'm great," he said nervously chuckling. Kim nodded and returned to eating, talking to Katie about something that had happened during the day as Kendall's gaze turned back to Stella. She continued not to look at him and ate peacefully, her hand remaining on his upper thigh tightly. Kendall swallowed hard, and rested his hand atop hers again, pushing it down a bit, as he went back to eating. Just what was Stella trying to do? Before he could even take the next helping of food into his mouth, Stella's hand had found its way to the inside of his thigh, as she rubbed soft circles into the fabric of his jeans. For the few seconds her hand rubbed against his inner thigh and up, was the most pleasurable feeling the boy had ever experienced, her fingers lightly tracing and massaging the outline of his member through his jeans. Kendall's entire body nearly jerked, his fork dropping on his plate with a loud clang, letting out a choking cough again, as Stella turned to him with a face that could nearly explode with laughter.

"Sweetheart is everything alright?" Kim asked her son concerned with an arched eyebrow, Katie looking at her brother like he had four heads. Kendall swallowed hard, his leg shaking, as Stella's hand returned to her lap and she turned to him, coy and innocent as could be.

"What's wrong?" Stella asked him innocently. Kendall looked at her with incredulous eyes, her smile and eyes full of one thing—lust. He had never seen that look in Stella's eyes, and he had no possible idea why she would even remotely think about touching him down there, in front of his family, his baby sister included, when she had just met them all. As much as Kendall was confused unto why she had done it, he knew he wanted it done again…and soon. The sudden surge of sexual energy between the two became mutual as they looked into each other's eyes. It was only a matter of time before kissing became dreary between them.

"I—I'll be right back," Kendall stumbled out nervously with wide green eyes, quickly getting up out of his seat, not even bothering to push it in, as he headed straight for the deck where he and Stella had met. As Kendall walked away from the lively chatter, he felt an aching below the belt, in which he was afraid to look down at. It may have only been a second or two that Stella had touched him, but it was more than he could handle. He quickly burst through the outside doors, needing to cool down, as he took a few deep breaths. He wandered the deck with his hand at his head, trying to gather his thoughts, as light snow flurries began to fall down on the already hardened snow. His eyes caught the forest in front of him, which was swaying with the wind, looking terrifying as ever. His cast his eyes away from it quickly, shaking his head as he leaned against the railing.

"Kendall Knight," he heard a soft voice say. He looked back and saw Stella, walking toward him in all her glory, with a dignified smirk on her face.

"What the hell was _that_?" Kendall asked breathlessly and in a low voice, a smile helplessly poking through on his face, trying his best to act somewhat angry at what had just went down. Stella chuckled a bit, entertained by his total discombobulation and moved closer to him, slipping her arms through his, his hands at his hips.

"I don't know, I was feeling adventurous, and I thought I'd give it a shot," Stella said casually, as if attempting a hand job at the dinner table was normal. Kendall let out a scoff of laughter, breathing heavily, puffs of steam coming out of his mouth as if he was some sort of motor boat.

"In front of my _hosts_? _And _my baby sister?" Kendall asked incredulously, still astonished that Stella would even try something like that. She looked at Kendall with heavy eyes and saw that his eyebrows had become a bit furrowed. He was actually a bit upset with her. She hadn't meant to upset him, or make him go berserk. She bit her lip and looked down, as the boy breathed heavily, one hand leaning on the railing, as if he had just run a mile race. She dropped her hands from his hips, and shrugged a bit embarrassed at her actions.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking I-I just...I," Stella mumbled, looking downward, as unconfident as Kendall had ever seen her. It was then he realized he wasn't as much shocked that she had done that at dinner table, as much as he was to his _own_ reaction. Not only was the way she barely touched him one of the most pleasurable experiences in his **life,** but it had made Kendall's mind boggle to the umpteenth degree, to the point where he had to hold himself back from letting her continue right there and then.

There was now a great deal of sexual tension between the two lovers, neither could deny. It would have to be taken care of somehow.

"It's alright, I'm sorry I just-I was caught off guard," Kendall said, trying to reiterate to Stella that he wasn't really mad at her, just a bit jumpy. Stella looked up in his eyes, with that same, lustful look again. Kendall could _feel_ the sexual desire between them, something he hadn't really felt since the first night he had thought of her, and how he had pictured himself undressing her, his hands all over her smooth, tight skin. Kendall swallowed hard, and it took everything and anything he had not to grab Stella and whisk her away somewhere, so he could do just that.

"We…we should get back inside," Kendall said a bit nervously, trying to shake his head off the erotic thoughts of Stella he was having. Stella nodded as he went to grab her hand but stopped. He grinned at her, his face relaxing as she smiled up at him.

"Can I trust you with my hand?" he asked her jokingly. Stella pondered the thought playfully, and quickly encased her fingers around his, the sudden warmth filling both of their bodies, like a cup of hot chocolate on a bitter, cold day.

"Yes. You can trust me, Kendall Knight," Stella said with a smile and light chuckle.

* * *

It was nearly the end of dinner, and all forty-seven guests were around the table, sipping the last of their wine, crunching on the last of their soggy salads and buttering the last of their bread. Suddenly, a man at the far end of the table stood up, clinking his glass so the entire room could hear him. Everyone died down, Stella squeezing Kendall's hand tightly as all eyes went to the man by the head. He must've been a relative of the Tregger's, because he had the same blonde hair and blue eyes, although his build was a bit chubbier, and he looked like he was in his mid thirties.

"If I can have everyone's attention," the man said in a cheerful voice. He looked down at a raven haired woman beside him, who stood up with a large smile on her beautiful face, right hand covering left. She linked arms with the tall, built man as they exchanged knowing looks. The tall blonde cleared his throat and took a deep sigh, looking out over the crowd like the happiest man that could ever be.

"I want to first of all thank my wonderful sister Jenny, for having everyone over tonight, and cooking this amazing meal," he said, looking at Jenny with a smile. Jenny beamed up at her brother and chuckled, as he took a deep breath. "And, in the spirit of Christmas and Christmas Eve, I just want to make a joyful announcement," he said in a very anxious voice. He looked back at the raven beauty beside him, and then back out at the long table of forty seven, smiling widely.

"Me and Maria are getting married, and moving back to Thief Great Falls," he said loudly with a large smile on his face. As soon as the words erupted from his mouth, a loud chorus of screams, giggles and excitements came from the forty-seven, as older women Kendall had no idea of rushed up to the couple, giving them large kisses, and hugs. Jenny was near tears, as she ran up to her brother and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek, and hugged him tightly. She must've been excited that he was moving closer to her, and getting married to this beautiful black haired beauty, even though she'd definitely mess up the towhead complex of the Tregger family. The entire living space had been filled with clamor and yelps of excitement as Katie, Stella and Kendall remained seated, all looking at each other with youthful, misunderstanding eyes. It was only then that Kendall realized the seat in which Mrs. Knight had occupied had quickly become vacant, and that she hadn't been congratulating the couple. Kendall took a deep breath and painfully loosened his grip on Stella's hand, as he put two and two together.

"I'll be right back," he said, getting up from the chair with a saddened smile, leaning down and pecking her soft lips for the first time that night. Katie looked surprised at the kiss as Stella simply giggled into his lips as he pulled away, the lust not nearly fading off from either party.

Kendall walked into the kitchen where he saw his mother alone, leaning on the island, her head hung. Her red hair hung over her face, silent cries and whimpers coming from her. Kendall's heart nearly broke as he approached her gently, resting his hand on her back. She sniffled and flipped her head up, sensing someone's presence and when she saw it was her son, she quickly wiped her eyes with shaking hands.

"Mom, are you okay?" he asked her softly, his large hands going to her neck, rubbing it gently. Kim sniffled and wiped her eyes, swallowing hard, turning around and looking her son, now taller than her, in his green eyes. She bit her lip thin, and another tear cascaded out of her eye as she nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said weakly with a fake smile, not fooling anyone. Kendall looked into his mother's pained eyes and sighed. Every Christmas Eve, Kristopher Knight would tell Kendall and Katie the story of how he proposed to their mother on Christmas Eve, with a beautiful ring encased in the final ornament they had put on **their** new tree. It had been the first tree they had decorated together, and called **theirs** in **their** new apartment. The story was told every year, and even though Kendall pretended not to listen in his older years, he was always all ears. Any story about the true love his parents shared he could listen to over and over again. This year would be the first year the story wouldn't be told.

Kendall engulfed his mother in a big hug, his strong arms around her small, petite frame, rubbing her back gently, and kissing her hair.

"I miss him so much, Mom," Kendall whispered out, his voice a bit shaky. He parted from his mother who had tear marks down her face to her chin. "But it's alright to cry," he said swallowing hard, his face curling up into a sympathetic smile. Kim smiled and leaned up to kiss her son's stubbly cheek before letting out a big sigh.

* * *

Kendall gently put Stella's torn and tattered coat on to her shoulders, as Kim stood at the door, ready to see her son and his date out for the night. Kendall quickly pulled on his own jacket and hat, as Stella buttoned her worn down coat, trying her best to conceal its obvious tatter.

"Well, it was so nice to meet you, Kacey," his mother said in her sweetest, most polite voice. She reached out her arms, and embraced Stella with a squeeze, the blonde girl surprised at the contact. Stella chuckled politely and smiled.

"It was so nice to meet you too, Mrs. Knight. And make sure to tell Mrs. Tregger that everything was wonderful. Thank you for having me," she recited politely with an angelic smile. Kim smiled and bit her lip as Kendall snuck his arm around Stella's waist.

"Ready to go, Kace?" Kendall said, emphasis on the nickname. Stella looked up at him and nodded as he held her close as he could to him. Kendall looked back at his mother and smiled.

"We're just going to walk. It's too icy to drive anyway," Kendall said with a smile. His mothers face immediately tensed up a bit at the change of plans and Stella noticed this.

"It's just down the road, Mrs. Knight. And I'll make sure to remind your son to call when we arrive," she said, looking up at Kendall with a gleam in her eye. Kendall chuckled and bit his lip as his mother looked at the perfect couple in front of them. She hadn't seen Kendall this happy in forever. It nearly made her heart burst.

"Okay. But 12:00 curfew, Kendall. I'm not kidding around. I'll be waiting up," Kim said with a motherly tone of voice. Kendall nodded as she leaned in, smothering her sons face with her hands, and kissing his cheek lovingly. Kendall's heart dropped a bit, realizing the fact that he was leaving his mother on Christmas, but with the other forty-seven, he knew she would be fine.

"I love you, Mom," Kendall whispered with a smile. Kim smiled back at her son as he opened the door, the cold wind entering the warm house.

"Merry Christmas, Kacey," she said to the young blonde whose waist was held by her son's arms.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Knight," Stella said lightly, her smile wide and white. The two exchanged nods, as Kim held the door open for them and they walked out into the now heavier snow.

* * *

"I thought we were going to your house to stargaze, Kacey?" Kendall asked chuckling, as Stella pulled him through the snow towards the forest.

"My name is _Stella_, Kendall Knight. And change of plans," she said cleverly, as she pulled him through the white wall of wonder, which was really starting to pick up. Kendall looked up at the towering, black, dark forest in front him. He swallowed hard as Stella dragged him closer and closer to it, his heart racing. He resisted her, looking up at the enormous, towering trees in front of him, as Stella turned around to him. The snow and wind made it bit hard to see each other from even just a few feet away.

"What are you doing?" Stella asked him confused. Kendall stayed still, his green eyes looking up at the swaying trees, which did some type of Death dance in Kendall's eyes. He took a step back and licked his lips as Stella gazed upwards, trying to see what he was looking at.

"What?" she asked confused, her gaze going from him to the sky, then back to him. Kendall locked eyes with her and started taking a few deep breaths. He was not going to go into this forest, he couldn't. He just _couldn't._

"Stella, I-I can't go in there," Kendall chuckled in doubt, backing up even more, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the scary images of the trees dancing, and running through the forest the night of his father's death. It all came running back to him; the cold air on his skin, the desperation in his cries, the cut on his face. And suddenly, everything went away…with the simple touch of Stella's warm hand.

"Hey," she said softly, standing close to him, squeezing it tightly. Kendall opened his eyes to see Stella's blue ones staring back at him warmly, and lustfully like they had been all day. Stella touched his face softly, and smiled.

"You're with me, Kendall Knight. Remember that," she said softly. Kendall nodded as she took his hand again, and began to lead him in the forest. He looked up at all the trees as he took a few steps in. Stella's warm hand in Kendall's created such a good feeling throughout his body, something almost magical as he kept his eyes straight as she led him through the dark forest. About five minutes in, the two came to a clearing, in which there was a small, distressed cabin made of wood. Kendall looked at it peculiarly and then back at Stella who stared at it, with solemn eyes. She turned to him and bit her lip gently.

"This is where I used to live."

* * *

Kendall cuddled up to Stella, holding her warm body tightly between his legs in the small lit tiny cabin she had called home for so long. Words weren't said as they cuddled by the heat of the candles, space heater, matches and blankets she had stored here earlier in the day.

"This is nice," Kendall said quietly into her blonde hair, his arms fastening tighter around her small, delicate torso, as she pulled up the blanket to them more. She nodded and sighed, leaning back on Kendall's chest as he kissed her cheek gently, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Before I scored that mansion, and used to live out here, I could see the stars so well," she said chuckling along with him. "But now, even though I have somewhere nicer to sleep, I come out here a lot. You can see them so close here from the roof of the cabin. It's so beautiful," she said quietly, entangling Kendall's fingers with her own under the blanket she had stored. Kendall sighed and hugged her closer to him, not wanting to let go, as the much desired heat began to fill the small space they occupied. "That's why I wanted to take you here. I just didn't think the snow would be so heavy," she said disappointed.

"It's alright. Another day," Kendall whispered into her ear gently, kissing her cheek. Stella smiled widely and nodded, the two so entrapped in the few moments they had together, reality didn't matter. Kendall could tell the cabin had some affect on her, as she was a bit quieter than he had known her to be. He could only imagine the hard times she had faced out here alone, freezing and scared in the forest that plagued his fearful mind. He didn't want to be scared anymore. There was nothing to be scared of right now. Not with Stella.

"Kendall Knight, do you really love me?" she asked quietly, her eyes looking straight out in front of her in the aglow cabin. Kendall didn't even have to think as he held her close to his body, hugging her as tight as he possibly could without breaking her. The response came naturally, as anything Kendall had ever said in his life.

"Of course I love you, Stella," he said softly, his heart beating with each word. It was true. He was in love. He didn't care if it was right, or if it was too fast, or if it was stupid. He knew what he felt. And it was definitely love. It wasn't even that he desired Stella, and wanted her. He physically needed her presence, her warmth her smile, and her mind, Stella swallowed hard, her voice becoming a bit weak as she stay still in his arms.

"Are you really sure?" she asked turning to face him, her fingers rubbing through his like a light silk. Kendall sighed and smiled, kissing her cheek gently. He gently brushed the hair from her ear with his free hand and kissed around her ear lobe, his lips soft on her white skin. It was then Kendall realized how crazy all of this was. He had met Stella only three days ago, and here they were, in her spot, about to be each other's first times. For anyone else, it might've been crazy—but for Kendall, it couldn't have felt more right, and meant to be.

"Do you love the stars, Stella?" he asked her with a whisper. Stella nodded with a smile on her face, fastening her hands around Kendall's neck. He smiled at her gently, his hand pushing the stray blonde hair from her flush cheek.

"Well, you are _my_ sky, and _all_ my stars," Kendall said just above a whisper. Stella's heart nearly melted, as she leaned her forehead against his, their eyes connected, their bodies close.

"That was incredibly clichéd," she said in a whisper, brushing her lips against his. "But I guess I'll have to take it," she whispered softly, looking into his eyes lustfully. She could still barely believe she had gotten so lucky.

Stella slowly took Kendall's soft, warm hands from under the blanket and placed them at her lips, giving him soft kisses up and down his fingers. All was silent as he looked at her. Her gentle pink lips were softly kissing and gently suckling the tips of his fingers slowly and tenderly, her delicate tongue slowly tracing her lips path, making sure every inch, of every finger had been covered with sweet, light kisses.

Kendall smiled at her widely, biting his lower lip with excitement and a bit of confusion. Stella, taking her lips away from his fingers skillfully, slowly took Kendall's hand from her mouth and placed it right on her ribcage, directly under her left breast. She had a sly grin on her face as she looked into Kendall's green eyes that shone with anticipation, and wonder of her body. This was it. All this pent up sexual energy about to shamelessly be released. Stella moved up to his face even more, smiling sweetly as Kendall's hand stayed put, forcing himself with all the willpower in the world not to move it until Stella gave him the go ahead.

"Touch me, Kendall Knight," she whispered to his lips with a sly smile. Kendall smiled widely his hand reaching up to grab at her breast, as his mouth fell on hers immediately. The kiss—which had no time to be tender—immediately became animalistic, as Kendall without subtleness slipped his thirsting tongue into Stella's warm mouth, not letting her even have a chance against him. His hand could barely fully feel her form through her sweater, frustrating him as he slowly hit the blanket off of them. Their lips smacked as their tongues danced together, conditioned to another by now, Kendall's hands at the hem of her sweater. This is what he had been thinking of the first night he met her. This is what he had been thinking of at dinner. And now, it was finally becoming a reality. Nothing could hold them back anymore. The stars in the sky would get to witness the beautiful union of two battered lovers, finally regaining the passion they had lost in life.

The two parted for a quick second, as Stella helped Kendall strip her of her sweater desperately, placing it beside them, revealing her stark white strapless bra. One hand went to her face, cupping her cheek and holding her to him, as his lips opened on hers again, their tongues entwining passionately. Stella moved closer to Kendall, pressing her chest against his, wrapping her legs around his seated waist. She grinded her hips against his, tugging on his tie slightly, feeling the bulge in his jeans grow larger, and firmer. Kendall leaned back against the wall of the small cabin, as Stella hovered over him a bit, her freely falling blonde hair tickling his neck, his hand moving up to the clasp of her bra.

"Get it off," she said short of breath, disconnecting her lips from Kendall's for a moment. He captured her lips again as he quickly maneuvered his hands to unlatch the back of her bra. In seconds, it had fallen to the ground, as Kendall's hands slowly and methodically traced down her back, as if her spine was the keys of a piano. He parted from her for a second, taking in the sight of Stella's beautiful, and topless body in the candlelight. There was still a bit of chill from the draft of the cabin, so her breasts sat tight and firm. Kendall could feel the intense pulsating of his member down below as he ran his hands down Stella's soft, bare curves. Stella smiled at him, not even the slightest bit embarrassed, leaning into kiss his neck, his hands roaming her back.

"Like what you see?" she asked flirtily against the skin of his neck, biting down on his pulse point, nipping with her teeth, her soft lips creating a juxtaposition of demeanor to the tender spot. Kendall had thought this would feel be good, but never _this_ good.

"**Fuck **yes," Kendall said chuckling, eyes closed, his head laid back against the wall of the cabin, his breathing heavy. Stella giggled and nipped and sucked at his neck ravenously as he swallowed hard, his lower half starting to sweetly ache with pleasure. Kendall placed a light trail of kisses on her shoulder as his hand moved up to her right breast. He cupped it gently, and began to slowly rub his thumb in circles across it, kneading the warm skin to her delight. Stella instantly stopped her kisses on Kendall's neck, and let out a small groan, as he grazed across the center, the heat from his fingertips causing near burn marks on her delicate white skin. Kendall could tell she enjoyed it, as he arched his head down a bit and gradually began to suckle her chest. It nearly gave the blonde girl the chills, as Kendall slowly and succulently kissed her rounded breast, his soft, wet lips occasionally nipping on the tight skin. Stella held Kendall's neck to her body with one hand, stroking the nape of his neck as she sighed in pleasure.

"You're good at this," she said in one shaky breath, leaning her head back a bit. Kendall smiled with a surge of sexual confidence continued, his lips smacking against her breast as she bit her lip white from the feeling. Kendall pulled away from her breast slowly as she tugged at his shirt and tie playfully.

"Get this off too," she said breathing heavily with a smile. Kendall nodded and quickly disposed of his plaid over shirt and loosened black tie, throwing it next to him as Stella immediately brought her hands to his neck, and trailed his smooth skin down his powerful arms, taking in his entire, muscular body.

"Hockey does you wonders, Kendall Knight," Stella said breathing heavily, leaning into kiss him again. He chuckled as he kissed her passionately, his hands groping the warm skin on her thighs, her legs still wrapped around his waist, both sitting against the wall of the cabin. Stella's hands moved to his abdomen and slid down to his jeans, where she skillfully unbuttoned them, moving her body back onto his thighs. She pulled his jeans down a bit, Kendall breathing heavily as she smiled at his excitement. Stella got up from sitting, and pulled his jeans down his legs quickly, as Kendall chuckled in awe. She then took her rightful spot on his thighs, her hands immediately going to the rigid bulge in his boxers, palming it through the thin black fabric skillfully.

"That feels _sooooo_ fuckin' good," Kendall moaned gruffly under his breath, as Stella stroked his achy appendage, sending shivers through his spine to the nape of his neck. He could now fully feel the amazing pleasure her hand had attempted to cause at dinner, with no strings attached. He slowly closed the gap between him and Stella, not being able to stop himself, his lips rubbing up against hers like magic as she slid her hand into the warm heat of his boxers. Stella quickly surrounded his hardened length with her hand, and began to forcefully pump him from base to tip, his senses overloading. "_Ste-llaaaa_," he groaned in a husky whisper, against her lips, his hips bucking forward a bit. His head was leaned back against the cabin as she placed soft, wet kisses on his vibrating throat.

"I better not be the only one with no pants on," Kendall mumbled jokingly, licking his lips and breathing heavily. Stella chuckled and slowly went to her jeans, and began to unbutton them. She got up from his lap, and slowly slid them down her long, Amazon legs, white and creamy as could be. She sat back down on his lap, legs spread as she wrapped her hands around his neck.

Stella kissed Kendall with all the fervor she had left in her, as Kendall's hand brushed against the waist line of her underwear. Without any hesitation, he slowly slid his hand against her skin into the warm confines, reaching his destination. He began to harshly rub her, as Stella closed her eyes tightly, breaking her kiss from Kendall. She hung her head as he concentrated on his hands movements, making sure to pay special attention to certain spots. She thrust into his touch subconsciously, her hips bucking up a bit, as she sighed deeply, her head hung as he moved to her neck, sucking on her skin ravenously.

"_Mmgh_", she moaned out, her hips involuntarily bucking with each pass of his fingers.

His fingers navigated craftily, as she let out a soft moan into Kendall's lips, him letting out a grunt of sheer pleasure. She thrust into his touch even more, her hips moving faster, hanging her head and panting heavily as Kendall softly kissed her face.

"Does it feel good, Stel?" he asked her anxiously, between heavy breaths, rubbing even harder. She held onto his neck and let out another moan as his fingers moved even faster, near pushing her to her edge.

"It-it feels…fuckin' amazing," she said lowly, between heavy breaths, eyes closed from pure ecstasy. No one had ever made Stella feel this way, and now, she couldn't_ imagine_ how she had managed to stay so controlled with Kendall the past few days. Kendall applied even more pressure, his fingers nearly slipping inside her as Stella began to squirm on his lap, feeling the tight pressure melding into a ball at the pit of her stomach.

"_Ohhhhh…please,_" Stella breathed heavily and strained, her hips wriggling a bit. She had lost control. And Kendall wasn't too far behind. He swallowed hard, his breaths heavy, his mind set solely on pleasuring the beautiful girl atop him.

"Faster?" he asked breathlessly, ready to oblige to her request at the simplest notion of 'yes'.

"No—no. Please, stop for a second," she said a bit confused, as she stopped her hips movements. Kendall awkwardly slid his hand from her; placing both hands on her hips as she breathed heavily, face down. Kendall bit his lip a bit worried. He didn't know if he had come on too strong, or maybe moved too fast. Stella took a deep breath out, her hands at his neck, and leaned her forehead against his.

She licked her lips and breathed heavily, trying to get her thoughts in order, as she looked up into his eyes.

It came out of her mouth as natural as anything would.

"I love you, Kendall," she said quietly and softly.

It was the first time since they met she hadn't had the sense, and witty willpower to use both of his names.

She was in love…for the first time, she _acknowledged_ love.

Kendall's smile grew miles wide, as he rested his hands at her hips. He leaned in and chastely kissed her lips, putting every small notion of love into the kiss he possibly could. When they parted, he took her head in his hands, breathing heavily, and bit his bottom lip, holding back a mile wide grin.

"I love you too, Stella," he said, stroking her cheek gently. Stella leaned in again, kissing him feverishly, as she rested his hands on her bare white thighs forcibly, her hands over his.

He gently fastened his grip under her thighs, her thin, damp underwear against his stiffened excitement as he stood up and brought her to the pile of blankets near the heater. Sweat had begun to drip from both of the napes of their necks as Kendall slowly lowered himself on top of Stella, resting on his forearms, her legs wrapped around his frame. Kendall gently loosened her legs, looking into those blue eyes as he placed a light kiss on her nose, then her lips, and then began to kiss her neck. He places a few chaste kisses on her breastbone, and as he moved down, they became wetter, and longer, his lips rubbing against her shimmering white skin. Stella squirmed a bit, and arched her back with each kiss. He finally got to her navel and proceeded to keep going downward, as he gently peeled her underwear back past her legs, revealing her entire, beautiful, naked body.

Kendall pulled them down her legs and then looked at how beautiful she was laying there, in the candlelight, totally exposed and vulnerable. Kendall smiled as he came over her and swiftly began kissing her lips, his tongue roaming her mouth. Stella pushed her totally naked body against his, which made Kendall nearly jerk out of his skin, her fingers tracing down the contours of his chest, to his hip bones, which she followed to his boxer line. She quickly tugged on his boxers, both letting out a chuckle, and in a swift motion made them fall to his knees, as he kicked them off the rest of the way.

Stella and Kendall both looked at each other in the eyes, not even caring about each other's bodies. It didn't matter anymore. There was no embarrassment. There was no fear. This was meant to happen. And soon, they would be one. He smiled at her widely, knowing he was about to make love to the most beautiful, and perfect girl he had never known. He could never imagine doing this with anybody else.

"Take me away from all of this, Kendall," Stella whispered softly, her eyes filled with the strongest desire of escape he had ever seen. Kendall nodded, his heart fluttering in his chest as he slowly parted her legs, bending her right one up. Stella reached up to kiss him as he pressed himself against her inner thigh, just waiting for the right moment. Their tongues softly entangled, Stella laced her fingers through Kendall's soft hair as he cautiously began to navigate himself inside her. Kendall looked in Stella's gorgeous blue eyes a bit nervous. He knew this was going to hurt her, and that's the last thing he wanted.

"It's gonna hurt a bit," he said upsettingly, his hand touching her soft golden hair, as she leaned up kissing his lips again, sending a firework to his brain.

"I know. And I don't care," she whispered with a smug smile, as their lips smacked gently. Kendall slowly continued to slide himself into her, and suddenly thrust his hips against hers, as she took in his entire length. She moaned in a bit of pain, breaking their kiss, her head down, trying to forget about it and just concentrate on Kendall's sweet face.

"_Jesus, _you're big," she whispered out, a small smile gracing her face, her eyes still tightly closed, feeling the sting and discomfort she knew would pass.

"Sorry," Kendall said proudly, chuckling a bit, still trying to fathom the fact that he was inside Stella. He brought his lips and kissed her forehead gently, her body shaking the tiniest bit.

"No, don't apologize. _Please_," Stella chuckled softly, eyes still tightly closed. Kendall swept his head to her lips, kissing them easily and slowly, letting her know everything was going to be alright, as her fingers laced more and more tightly in his hair, the pain starting to fade away.

Kendall shifted a bit, the feeling of being inside Stella's tight body more than overwhelming for him, as she swallowed hard looking up into his eyes. She nodded as he slowly pulled out of her, and then forcibly thrust in her again, as she let out a small yelp of pain, and squeezed Kendall's hand tightly. He was nearly taken over by the scent of her skin, and its touch as he planted a wet kiss to her neck, his lips suckling her pulse point, Stella playing with the frayed locks of hair at his neck. He went to her ear and kissed it gently as he again pulled out, and slammed back into her, this time with more force. Stella sighed out loud, the pain starting to subside, and the pleasure setting in as Kendall picked up his rhythm quickly. Stella raised her body to Kendall's ever so often, as the two lovers groped at each others' skin, moaned into each other's lips, and thrust into each other's hips.

"_Tell me…you love me, Kendall_," Stella pleaded, short of breath, in Kendall's ear, nipping on the edge of it. Kendall swallowed hard, still bucking his hips as his hand traveled down Stella's naked body, holding her white thighs tightly against his lower half. His shaggy hair hung over his shining green eyes as he looked in her crystal blue ones.

"I love you, Stella," he said panting, and swallowing. "I love you…so…fucking much," Kendall mustered out between pants, his voice strained as he began to feel her warm inner body close in on him. He breathed heavily as he moved his hips faster, Stella grabbing on to his neck, as their wild kisses turned soft, and slow, their tongues slowly lapping at each other. Kendall's thrusts became slower, as Stella's thighs trembled, her insides tightening up quicker and quicker.

"_Kendall_," she moaned out between heavy breaths, and lip smacks, her fingers clawing his humid back. He kissed her passionately as his body began to tremble, signaling his oncoming release. Stella had reached her height as her inner body constricted tightly against Kendall's rigidness. She grabbed onto his hair tightly and nuzzled her face in his strong, sweaty neck as she came hard. She moaned loudly as Kendall followed suit, biting his lip white and letting out a husky tight lipped moan, his nose nuzzling Stella's face breathlessly, as they rode out the rest of their orgasms.

Both lovers breathing heavily looked into each other's eyes, smiling widely and breathlessly. Kendall leaned down to soothingly kiss Stella's pink, soft lips, chastely as he pulled out of her gently. He quickly rolled next to her, leaning on his arm, looking into her eyes as Stella smiled at him brightly, her face aglow with happiness. Kendall leaned in kissing her again, brushing his hand across her cheek.

"You're better in bed than you look, Kendall Knight," Stella said slyly, regaining her control, her wittiness and her breath. Kendall chuckled and leaned into her again, kissing her lips, his heart pounding.

"I could say the same for you," he shot back breathlessly at her with a sly smile. Stella sighed and nuzzled into the blankets with a smile on her face, as Kendall just stared at her. Stella sat up looked around for her top, but couldn't find it as she picked up Kendall's from the floor with no hesitation, and slid it on. Kendall watched in amazement as Stella's golden locks of hair flipped and hung so loosely against the dark pattern of his plaid, as she buttoned it up carefully. She sighed and looked at him, who had a shocked, yet totally lustful expression on his face.

"What?" she asked confused, taking in the scent of his cologne from the shirt. Kendall chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, taking a deep breath out.

"Just—seeing you in my shirt after what just happened…it just—it makes me want to do it all over again," Kendall chuckled, looking up and down from Stella's messy, sex hair to how her legs folded under her naked body, to how his shirt hung on her small frame. She chuckled and crawled over to where he lay, leaning down to his lips.

"Well what's stopping you?" she asked with an arched eyebrow. Kendall chuckled and raised his eyebrows knowingly, his dimples in full force.

"The laws of physics, my darling," he said chuckling, motioning to his covered bottom half. Stella chuckled and leaned in, kissing his lips fearlessly.

"So we'll need a rain check for round two?" she asked, in a play disappointment, acting sexy as ever. Kendall chuckled and nodded, his hand going up to her face, his thumb across her cheek, slowly stroking the soft skin there.

"You better believe it, gorgeous," he said smiling brightly. Stella looked down at her hands and blushed a deep crimson. No one had ever called her gorgeous before. It was something she wasn't used to at all. Not even the slightest bit. Being a runaway, she hadn't had much interaction with guys, nevertheless ones who claimed to love her. She looked up at Kendall with heavy, almost sad blue eyes, taking a deep breath.

Kendall smiled at her. "So…you love me?" he asked her quite smugly, as she leaned over to him, their noses touching. Stella swallowed hard and nodded, looking up into Kendall's eyes.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked in a whisper. Kendall leaned down to peck her lips gently, and pulled away with a smile that lit up the small, heated cabin.

"Not at all," he stated simply, the sincerity in both of their eyes hanging in the air, and space above them. You could tell there was love in the room.

"Do you think_ I'm_ crazy?" asked Kendall, retorting the question playfully. The blondes face immediately curled up into a smile and she nodded.

"Yes. Crazy for loving someone like me," Stella said softly, her eyes avoiding Kendall's for a few a seconds. Kendall tipped up her chin delicately, and leaned in, placing soft kisses down her neck, over her pulse point as she sighed gently.

"If anyone is crazy, it's both of us for not having sex _earlier_," Kendall said chuckling against her white skin, as Stella giggled.

"We've only known each other for three days, Kendall Knight. How much earlier did you want this to happen?" she asked softly and playfully. Kendall pulled her in closer to him, his hand going under his shirt she wore, pulling her into him by the backs of her thighs, still completely bare and smooth. He ran his hands down the back of her thighs to her knee, while looking her in the eyes.

"I don't know. All I know is that I love you," Kendall whispered true to her lips, kissing them gently. Stella smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, his hand roaming her lower back, pushing her into his naked body even more.

Kendall parted from her and studied her beautiful, freckly, blonde face.

He didn't believe what he had just done, but truthfully, it would've happened inevitably. He had just made love to the girl he felt was his soul mate, and the electricity that coursed through Kendall's body before it, during it and after it, felt like it would never cease. It was an amazing feeling. It was a right feeling. He had never felt so good in his life, as he did when making love to Stella. Nothing would ever top it.

"Merry Christmas Eve, Stella," Kendall said sweetly, almost forgetting what day it was. Stella smiled, her entire face lighting up tenfold.

"Merry Christmas Eve, Kendall Knight," she whispered back. 

* * *

**Review please and make sure to check out my other stories! And my shoutouts!**


	7. Overly Passionate

**A/n: This chapter is VERY long, averaging 10,000 + I believe :D I'm really happy for this one, cause there is a bit of foreshadowing (as well as in the last chapter ;D) that you may be able to pick up on. The boys are going to be coming in very soon, don't you worry :D Kendall can't stay in Thief River Falls forever!**

**Make sure to check out christinainwonderlands Ampersand which is an EPIC story, and she is new to this fandom so be nice ;D**  
**and of course, the perfect, astounding Past The Sorrow by waterwicca, who is the most amazing author ever :D**

**I hope you guys review and enjoy this chapter. We see a bit of BAMF Kendall who WILL be returning, don't you worry ;D**

**I don't own BTR, but I do own Stella and The Treggers (and other OC's). I do not own "Two is Better Than One" by Boys Like Girls.  
**

* * *

_Chapter Seven: Overly Passionate_

Kendall sat on the giant, plush, couch of the Tregger's living room in his plaid pajama pants and loose Henley, one leg resting on the other loosely, biting his lower lip. It was Christmas morning, and his eyes scanned the Tregger's usually tidy hardwood floors which were now covered with all different types of snowman, snowflake, and Santa wrapping paper, as the younger guests who had stayed the night tore it recklessly off their presents under the huge, fancy tree that sat in the corner of the Tregger's living room. Cameras flashed, screams and yelps were heard from the little girls who got their Barbie dolls, and the little boys who got their Nerf guns as parents played up Santa, and how great he was at getting them what they wanted.

This wasn't the type of Christmas Kendall was used to. There were at least sixty people in the Tregger's living room, and everything was lively as if it was some sort of parade, not being able to get a moment of silent with all the ruckus. Kendall had been so used to quietly opening his presents under the tree with Katie back home, as their parents looked on in awe, pretending not to know what "Santa" got them since Katie still believed. Kendall always smirked at his parents as _they_ exchanged gifts on Christmas. His father would always get his mother a piece of jewelry even though she _never _wanted one—well, that's at least what she always told her husband. The exchange would always be sealed with a tender peck on the lips that made Kendall's heart fill with warmth, knowing that one day he'd be able to make some woman happy like that on Christmas.

Kendall's parents were the typical high school sweethearts that _everyone_ in their graduating class envied. Being the only married couple left in their Duluth High group of friends, they had stood the fights, tears, and two children they had brought into the world together beautifully. Kendall always noticed how loving his parents were towards each other. It was in everything they did. How they kissed goodbye in the morning before he left work, how they_ always_ went out on their anniversary, and how they just looked at each other. It seemed after all those years, not even an _ounce_ of love had dissipated between them, and it made Kendall hopeful for his own future, and thankful that there wouldn't be any horrible divorces in his house.

Little did he know his father would be taken away from them anyway.

Kendall should've been happy this Christmas morning. I mean first of all, it _was_ Christmas, and even if he was a sixteen year old jock, he still enjoyed it thoroughly, as any kid would.

Second of all, he had gotten the two-hundred dollar Bauer Vapor Senior hockey stick he had his eye on for the last five months—especially since he had broken his old one the night his father died. He'd been using one of Carlos' old hockey sticks that he didn't need, since he had gotten a new one for his birthday.

Thirdly, he hadn't seen his mother smile so much since getting here. He would've thought this day would be absolutely **dreadful **for her, but a smile graced her aged face as she watched Katie open the rest of her gifts. He didn't know if she was putting up a front for his younger sister, or the fact that _he_ had been acting so happy with Stella lately made _her _happier, but Kendall had a feeling not only his father's death and that his attitude the past few months had definitely put a large weight on his mother's heart. He smiled small at the sight of Katie's eyes lighting up at the new coat his mother had gotten her and the excitement on the young girls' face.

And fourthly, here Kendall was, waking up a man on Christmas morning. He had made love for the first time, to a beautiful, saucy, perfect blonde who had captured his heart in ways the teenager couldn't even fathom at this moment. As Stella walked him back through the forest at 11:50 at night, his arm linked with hers, he couldn't wait for the next time they would do that again. It wasn't as much the pleasure he felt from it, but the connection they had emotionally being expressed physically. How she thirsted for his touch, and the sounds she made during, it seemed like they had made love dozens of times before this. It boggled Kendall's mind, and making love to Stella had felt like an outer body experience, something he would never forget. So when she left him with a smile, a tender kiss on the lips, and retreated back to her cold, bleak house, it tore his heart in two to leave her.

So why was Kendall Knight upset on Christmas morning?

It was Christmas, which meant he only had three more days with Stella before he left. He had been so enthralled in all her love and mystery the past few days, he hadn't realized he was going to have to leave her soon. He didn't even want to think of it though, knowing that he could spend a lot of time with her before he made the trek back home, since his family knew her as Kacey, which was quite a relief. It seemed like the past few days, Kendall had been living in his own little world. He didn't really even bother to talk to James, Carlos and Logan, something that had been in the back of his mind this Christmas morning.

As well as Stella, Kendall realized no gift this Christmas would ever replace his father's usual Knight smirk when Kendall opened his annual Minnesota Wild hockey jersey. He had gotten one every single year on Christmas, each year a different member of the team. It was sort of a personal gift from Kristopher to Kendall that each of them truly cherished; son receiving, father giving.

Bryan Tregger took a seat next to Kendall, clad in plaid PJ pants, with his elegant, monogrammed robe tied around him. As if he couldn't be any richer.

"Merry Christmas, Dude," Bryan said, extending a hand to him. Kendall snapped out of his trance and smiled at the blonde, shaking his hand.

"Merry Christmas," Kendall said politely as Bryan smiled. He motioned his chin to the expensive hockey stick that lay next to the pile of Kendall's other less important presents.

"We **better** try that thing out before you leave," Bryan said smiling, as Kendall bit his lip nervously. Leave. He didn't want to leave. Kendall chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah, we'll have to play a round," Kendall chuckled out nervously, wondering when he was going to get that in when he was spending all his time with Stella.

"So I never asked you, how was your little Christmas with Kacey?" Bryan asked, cocking an eyebrow and giving Kendall a chuckle. Kendall swallowed hard, thinking of the amazing Christmas Eve he had and looked at Bryan's shining blue eyes.

"It was fine. She's—she's a really special girl," Kendall mustered out, his heart almost yelling at him for undermining the feelings between him and Stella. Bryan smiled at him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, she seemed great at dinner the other night. I really didn't talk to her too much, but she seems like she really likes you, Kendall. I hope you guys stay in touch after you leave. And maybe you can convince your mom to let you come up here a few times in the year to see her, and so we can play a little hockey. You're better then Jake, Stephen and Alex combined," Bryan said smiling. Kendall swallowed hard and his eyes cast down as his throat closed a bit. Staying in touch. How hard was that going to be when Stella was a runaway? It's not like she had a cell phone or anything like that. His head spun with thoughts as he nodded, trying to remain calm. Maybe he _could_ come up here, even if it was just for the excuse to see Bryan—who he actually really did like—and play hockey.

"Bryan, come here!" Serena called from under the tree, holding up some sort of colorful toy. Bryan looked at Kendall and smiled, before getting up and going over to his little sister, plopping down next to her and reveling in her Christmas joy. It was as soon as Bryan left that Kendall saw his mom sit down next to him on the couch. He turned to her and smiled, resting her hand on his thigh, giving him a warm touch.

"Did you like your gifts?" she asked her son with hopeful eyes. Kendall smiled at her and leaned into her a bit more, squeezing her to him.

"I loved them. Thanks, Mom," Kendall said smiling, looking up into her blue eyes. Kim smiled at her son and swallowed hard, looking down at her fingers, then back up into her son's eyes.

"Come with me," she said, patting his knee and getting up from the couch. Kendall looked confused as his mother looked at him with stern, loving eyes. Kendall cluelessly got up from the couch with a grunt and followed his mother upstairs, and down the hallway to their room.

Once inside, Kim closed the door behind him and went over to the side dresser. She leafed through some of her shirts, and finally found what she was looking for. She swallowed hard as her fingers touched the small box wrapped in red, shiny paper with a small silver ribbon around it. Her shaking fingers took it to her chest as she closed the drawer, taking one more deep breath before she turned around.

Kendall stood in the middle of the room completely clueless as his mother approached him, the little wrapped box in her hands.

"Sit down, sweetheart," she said softly, as Kendall looked in her eyes a bit scared. Kim sat down next to her son on the bed as Kendall faced her, his eyebrows knitted. She took a deep breath before she started, fingering the square box one last time before handing it over.

"This is from your father, Kendall," Kim said shakily, extending the box out to him. Kendall's heart dropped into the pits of his stomach as he looked at his mother extending the box out to him. He took it from her slowly with wide, heavy eyes, swallowing hard as his mother sighed, a wet tear falling down her cheek. "He bought them a week before the accident," she muttered out, her voice cracking.

Kendall took off the silver ribbon cautiously and began to unwrap the box slowly, making sure not to rip any of the wrapping paper off this sacred gift. He put the red paper aside and looked at the small white box in front of him and felt a lump in his throat. He looked at his mother one last time as she nodded, as he took off the top of it. Kendall's heart nearly stopped when he looked at what the box contained.

Two tickets to Los Angeles Kings vs. Minnesota Wild game, for January 23 of the next year, in Los Angeles, California.

Kendall stared at the tickets, his hand beginning to shake a bit. All was silent as he slowly took the tickets out of the box and put it aside. He held the hefty paper in his shaking hand, one hand going through his hair, his eyes tearing up. He couldn't believe it. This gift was from his father.

"I don't know if you'll be able to go, Baby," Kim started off, her hand on Kendall's thigh, trying to give him some sense of comfort. She sniffled as more tears fell out of her eyes. "But your father _really_ wanted you to have them. And he was _so_ excited to give them to you this Christmas," she barely got out, her voice audibly cracking at the end, as she brought her hand to her mouth. Warm tears spilled over her cheeks, as she looked up to the sky, trying to get them away as Kendall looked at her, tears falling from his eyes as well.

"Thank you for giving them to me, Mom," he barely whispered out, biting his lower lip and nodding. Kimberly Knight then threw her arms around her son as he hugged her tightly, nuzzling into her hair, the tickets still in his hand as he began to cry in her arms.

"Merry Christmas, Kendall," Kimberly whispered into her son's hair, as he gave her a reassuring squeeze, letting her know everything was going to be alright.

* * *

Kendall took his usual route past the fir trees, down into the storm cellar and up the basement stairs into Stella's house. He had a gift for her in one hand, in a small red and blue bag with a snowman on it, and a plate of hot breakfast in the other. Luckily, he was able to sneak it _again_ due to all the commotion and clamor of opening Christmas presents in the living room. He had gotten a freshly bought bagel, some eggs, and bacon for her. He had told his mother he needed to take a walk to clear his head after receiving his father's Christmas gift, and she understood, but told him to take his cell phone with him. While it was true he needed to clear his head after the emotional Christmas this morning, he decided that a walk would never come _close_ to working as much as seeing Stella's face would.

"Stella?" he called to her, hoping to evoke a response, walking towards her room in the back of the house. His booted footsteps creaked on the shiny wood floors, as he made his way to the master bedroom where he could feel the heat radiating from, knowing she was in there. He inched the door open a bit and smiled at what he saw. Stella, sleeping soundly in a mountain of blankets, her body gently expanding with each breath, her perfectly pink lips pursed. She looked as beautiful as ever, and Kendall's heart beat faster, as seeing her so peaceful made his entire body radiate with this inner warmth he just couldn't explain. It seemed anytime he looked at her, no matter how bad things were, she was some sort of light for him, breaking through any darkness he had been submissively cast into.

Kendall smiled widely and inched his way into the room, careful not to wake her yet. He placed her gift, and the small plate wrapped in tinfoil on a cardboard box in the corner, and slowly made his way over to her makeshift bed. Kendall leaned down on his knees beside her and smiled at how her loose blonde hair fell over her face. She was wearing the exact same thing she had been wearing last night, and it hurt Kendall's heart a bit, knowing she didn't have many clothes to change into.

He took off his beanie and ran his hands through his hair, tossing it to the side. He leaned his face down to Stella's and lightly kissed her forehead, stroking his hand through her golden blonde locks as she stirred a bit. Her blue eyes fluttered open and smiled when she saw Kendall there.

It was an **instant** relief to her on this day.

"Merry Christmas, sleepyhead," Kendall said softly, smiling, his hand caressing her flushed cheek. Stella closed her eyes and took a deep breath in still smiling as she sighed deeply.

"Come lay with me," Stella said, swallowing hard, her voice still a bit raspy from sleep, as she reached her arms out to him. Kendall chuckled as Stella moved aside on the mattress. He quickly stripped off his jacket, kicked off his boots and slid under the blankets. His body was flush against Stella's, reminding him of last night, as he shuddered gleefully at the thought. Stella lazily cuddled into Kendall, her soft skin nuzzling his as she took a deep sigh in, his hand moving to the her back, raising the back of her sweater a bit, finding the warm skin on the small of her back. He kissed her forehead again gently as she sighed deeply.

"I bought you some breakfast, and a Christmas present," Kendall said sweetly into her hair, his hand soothingly, and comfortingly rubbing her back. Stella sighed again, still not fully awake as she rested her lips at Kendall's throat.

"You got me a Christmas present?" she asked, her voice a bit unsure at what he was saying, as if she almost couldn't believe it had just come out of his mouth. Kendall separated his throat from her lips and looked down at her with a cocked eyebrow and an adorable smile.

"Of course I got you a Christmas present," Kendall said smiling. Stella looked at him, her eyes confused as her heart fluttered in her chest. Kendall's hand still connected at her back made her feel comforted in his arms, as he hugged her close to him, their eyes never leaving each other's sight.

Stella was silent for a few seconds, and Kendall knew something was wrong. Her body seemed to tense up a bit, her eyes cast low, her breathing a bit hitched. She couldn't fool him.

"What's wrong?" he asked a bit confused, one hand entwined with hers under the blanket. Stella looked up at him with heavy blue eyes that seemed to changed colors every time she was upset.

"I-I've never gotten a Christmas present before," Stella said nervously, as if the prospect of opening a present actually scared her. Kendall looked at her in awe, and his heart dropped a bit. He still didn't know all that much about Stella's past, and while still always curious, he didn't know just how bad it was. He instinctively held Stella closer to his body as her breathing became heavier. Kendall swallowed hard and held her hand tighter in his.

"Stella, tell me more about your past," Kendall whispered gently, the words exuding from his mouth unexpectedly. Stella looked up at his sad, sympathetic eyes, which she studied for a few seconds, as his hand gently rubbed through hers like silk. She was going to have to let him in. It scared her, but it was something she was going to have to do. She had to let him in a bit more, it was only fair.

Stella sat up in bed, Kendall's hand detaching from her back as she stared out into the vast snowy wonderland that was Minnesota, out of the large glass windows in her room. Kendall sat up in bed with her, placing two hands around her waist, and nestling her in between his legs, as they had been last night in the cabin. Stella hung her head a bit and took a deep breath, not wanting to look at Kendall when she told him anything.

"I was in foster care as long as I could remember," Stella started off, her voice a bit weak. Kendall's hand instantly found hers and he held it tightly as she let out a shaky breath. He squeezed her hand and she looked down at their hands entwined and smiled widely.

"I don't know who my mother is. I don't know who my father is," she continued. It instantly hit home with Kendall. His father was indeed gone, but he couldn't even imagine not having known him at all, nevertheless not having his mother either. Stella took another deep breath, Kendall squeezing her hand again, as she lay back on his chest against the wall, his heartbeat in time with hers.

"And then when I was five, I remember being in an orphanage because my foster mother died, and my foster father couldn't take care of me by himself anymore," she said calmly. Kendall swallowed hard, and was brought back to the first night he had met Stella, and how when he had asked about why she was in foster care in the first place, she hadn't answered.

All was silent.

"Were they nice people?" Kendall asked softly, kissing her ear lovingly. Stella nodded yes and smiled a bit, her gaze still out straight to the window.

"Gina and John really cared about me. They called me Kacey. I don't know if they made it up, or if that is my actual legal name, but, they treated me well," Stella said with a more joyful voice. "My foster mother was killed in a car accident a few months after I got there though, so I only stayed there for a short time before I was shipped to the orphanage in Wisconsin," she said softly, her fingers softly rubbing against Kendall's.

Now he was getting some answers. The reason Stella had cited Gina and John as her adoptive parents that first night on the deck, and the reason for her name change at the general store. Stella was silent as Kendall hugged her towards his body tightly and kissed her cheek, letting her know he was in fact still here.

Stella's entire body tensed up, and tears started to fall from her eyes as she took a deep, shaky breath in. "The orphanage was horrible, Kendall Knight," she said with a throat full of tears. "It was dirty, and cold. There was no one to talk to, and they-th-they used to," Stella barely got out, as she let out a small whimper, and Kendall held her tightly to him, as tight as he possibly could.

"You can tell me," he said in her ear easily. Stella swallowed hard and held his hand tightly.

"They used to hit me," she barely got out, her voice wavering, trying to remain as strong as she possibly could in front of him.

Kendall's face went straight and angry as he held Stella in a warm hug, as if he was protecting her eleven years too late from all the hitting, and horrible memories she ensued. It near destroyed him to hear that she had been hurt on purpose. Lately, Kendall had felt like him and Stella were one person, and that whenever the other was upset or sad, they each felt some sort of darkness and heaviness in their hearts. His whole body tensed up, imagining how this poor, beautiful, angelic creature could ever be hit. Hadn't she gone through enough in her life?

It was then he realized it was Christmas and that Stella didn't need to talk about this right now. He wanted to make her first real Christmas special, not upsetting. There was silence as Kendall cleared his throat.

"You don't have to say anymore right now, alright?" he whispered into her hair gently, their bodies as close as they possibly could be to each other. "Why don't you let me give you your Christmas present?"

Stella looked back at Kendall for the first time since starting the story, and nodded as he got up off the bed, and went over the where he lay the present and the food. He sat back down on the bed across from her, laying the plate and tiny bag between them, Stella wiping her blue eyes dry as Kendall sighed deeply. He looked up in her eyes with a small smirk as Stella smiled back, thankfully.

"Now, do you want your Christmas _breakfast_ first, or your Christmas _present_ first?" Kendall asked her, motioning to each with a smug smile on his face. Stella smiled a bit and looked down at the bag and the plate with tinfoil. She hadn't eaten since her feast at the Tregger's and she was hungry, but curiosity bubbled up inside of her at what Kendall could have possibly gotten her.

"Present," she said smiling widely, her tears quickly fading away as Kendall chuckled.

"Good choice," he said as he picked up the present and handed it to her with an adorable, mile wide smile. Kendall was incredibly nervous, but couldn't_ wait_ to give Stella his present.

He had been up in his room last night, beaming with energy after what had happened between them. Kendall felt absolutely enthralled by the experience and couldn't get Stella out of his head, much like the first night he had met her. He looked over at the cable box under the television, and it read 1:09 AM. It was officially Christmas day. Kendall sighed deeply, putting his hands behind his head and nestling into the couch, wondering what he could possibly scamper up for Stella for Christmas. He knew she probably hadn't had the best Christmases, and he really wanted to make this one special for her.

Around 2:30, Kendall still wasn't asleep, the electricity and warmth from Stella's body still radiating on him when the words just seemed to come right to him. So he wrote them down on a dinner napkin, and a half an hour later, her perfect, Christmas present lay in front of him, scribbled on a napkin, his messy handwriting staring him straight in the face. Stella looked down at the bag confused and then back up at Kendall.

"Go ahead. Open it," Kendall said smiling anxiously. Stella dove her hand into the bag, and took a small white box. She bit her lip nervously as she took off the cover, and was surprised when she saw nothing inside it. She looked up at Kendall with a confused look, one eyebrow arched as she let out a small, concerned chuckle. Had he forgotten to put the present in the box?

"Kendall, there is nothing in here," Stella said softly, surveying the bag, making sure she didn't clumsily drop anything. Kendall nodded and neared Stella and took a deep breath before going to her ear, and closing his eyes, holding her hand shakily. He swallowed hard and shakily began to sing.

__

_****_

_**"I remember what you wore on the first day  
You came into my life and I thought  
"Hey, you know, this could be something""**_

He gripped Stella's hand tightly, trying so hard for his nerves not to get the best of him, and stay strong during the song. Stella gasped a bit when he she heard his beautiful, melodious voice ring through the master bedroom. She heard Kendall's heartbeat, and how his breath hitched, knowing he was exceptionally nervous. She couldn't help how insanely captivated she was by his gentle, sweet voice.

_**"'Cause everything you do and words you say  
You know that it all takes my breath away  
And now I'm left with nothing"**__****_

_**"I remember every look upon your face  
The way you roll your eyes  
The way you taste  
You make it hard for breathing" **_

Kendall's voice began to pick up more and more momentum, and more and more confidence as he parted from Stella's ear, and looked into her blue eyes, trying his best not to be afraid held Kendall's hand tightly in hers, as a wide smile appeared on his face, as well as his. His loud voice rang through Stella's ears like the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

**So maybe it's true**  
**That I can't live without you**  
**Maybe two is better than one**  
**There's so much time**  
**To figure out the rest of my life**  
**And you've already got me coming undone**  
**And I'm thinking two is better than one"**

**"'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away**  
**I think of you and everything's okay**  
**I'm finally now believing"**

**"That maybe it's true**  
**That I can't live without you**  
**Maybe two is better than one**  
**There's so much time**  
**To figure out the rest of my life**  
**And you've already got me coming undone**  
**And I'm thinking two is better than one**  
**Yeah, yeah"**

**"I remember what you wore on the first day**  
**You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,""**

**"Maybe it's true**  
**That I can't live without you**  
**Maybe two is better than one**  
**There's so much time**  
**To figure out the rest of my life**  
**And you've already got me coming undone"**

**"And I'm thinking**  
**I can't live without you**  
**'Cause, baby, two is better than one**  
**There's so much time**  
**To figure out the rest of my life**  
**But I'll figure it out**  
**When all is said and done**  
**Two is better than one**  
**Two is better than one"**

She thought about how the lyrics of the song described them, how beautiful it was that Kendall put his feelings for her into this beautiful held the last note of the song a bit longer as his lips curled up into a smile, upon seeing the glassy eyes of Stella, and the way her heart swelled up into her face, an expression of absolute love on her face. He stopped singing, Stella's heart returning to its resting place in her chest as the melody stopped. Kendall's breathing was still heavy as he swallowed hard, amazed at what he had just done, and Stella's reaction.

It felt okay to sing in front of Stella. It felt right.

"Merry Christmas, Stella," Kendall said softly. Stella looked up into his sage green eyes, and pursed her pink lips into a smile.

"That was beautiful," she spoke softly. Kendall smiled, and for the first time that day, leaned into kiss her lips lightly. Stella laced her hands in his hair and chuckled, parting from him and giving him a suggestive eyebrow cock. Kendall matched her expression and she looked down at the food next to her.

"I think breakfast can wait a bit," she said slyly, pushing her body onto his forcefully, going straight for his neck.

* * *

"_GOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLL!" _Alex Callum screamed obnoxiously, pumping his fists in the air, skating on one skate around the twice frozen over pond, nestled in a group of firs just fifteen minutes away from the Tregger's house.

It was the day after Christmas and Stella was back at work at the general store. Kendall had gone to see her this morning for a few minutes while she was getting ready for work in the same blue sweater she was wearing the first day he had met her. They had shared a few gentle kisses, before they parted ways, making plans to meet again that night. They really wanted to stargaze this time, especially since the snow had stopped them from doing so previously.

Immediately upon returning to the house, Bryan came down the large stairs of the Tregger's home all bundled up with his skates around his neck, his duffle on his shoulder. He had told Kendall, him, Jake, Stephen and Alex were off to play a round of hockey at the pond, and that he wanted Kendall to join. Seeing as Kendall hadn't had much time to be excited about his brand new, state of the art hockey stick his mother had gotten him, he decided it'd be nice to spend time with guys for a change, especially since he couldn't see Stella since she was working. So Kendall grabbed his skates and followed Bryan, without even bothering to take off his heavy coat, gloves, and the new scarf his mother had gotten him for Christmas.

"Lucky shot, dude!" Stephen called from the goal, his back turned as her mercilessly tried to untangle the puck from the white netting of the goal. Jake rolled his eyes and skated across the ice, stick in hand as Kendall stood "center" ice with Bryan, getting ready for the next return. With five people and only one of them a goalie, the boys were playing the variation of ice hockey where you have to take out the puck before you can score. It was Bryan and Alex vs. Kendall and Jake.

"One ahead, gentlemen," Alex said with a smirk and weasel like laugh as he made his way far left of Bryan, who had the puck at his stick. Kendall looked back at Jake who rolled his eyes with a smirk, his stick tapping the ice waiting for Bryan's first move. Bryan passed it under his leg back to Alex, as Kendall shot over to the boy, quickly stick handling the puck away from him, before he even had time to react. Kendall shot down the court to where Stephen was in goal, and took a clean, crisp, powerful slap shot right above his left knee, sailing the puck into the goal. Jake let out a whoop and holler from the other side of the ice, skating over to Kendall excitedly and giving him a fist bump, as the two chuckled. Bryan let out a chuckle as well as Alex stood there shocked at what had just happened. Kendall Knight never ceased to surprise him.

"Dude, that stick is sick!" Jake said enthusiastically as Stephen kicked the puck back to where Alex was. The five boys huddled in the center of the pond all wow-ing over the intense slap shot Kendall had just taken. He had to admit, even _he_ was surprised at how nice the stick shot.

"Yeah, I know," Kendall said almost awed, chuckling, picking up the stick so the blade was at his chin, as he held it tight to him, running his fingers over the smooth handle. It was then Bryan looked at Kendall oddly, the first time really seeing him from the side, cocking his own head to the side. He saw a bunch of tiny little red marks leading from Kendall's freshly shaven jaw line, over his pulse point down to the depths of skin below his scarf.

"Dude, you have like a rash on your neck," Bryan said confused, as Kendall slowly reached for his neck self-consciously, turning to look at Bryan.

"What?" he chuckled confused, his voice a bit worried.

"You have all these bumps," he said unsure, furrowing his eyebrows at the sight and motioning towards them with his chin. Kendall handed his stick to Jake—not trusting Alex or Stephen—and quickly undid his scarf. He hadn't seen a rash on his neck, but maybe it was from his new scarf. The second he took it off, _all_ of Stella's little love bites from their sex two nights ago and yesterday popped up in a red fashion along Kendall's neck, which also seemed to be a bit bruised. The poor boy had been so bundled up in jackets and scarves the past two days, he hadn't even really noticed the outbreak.

"Whoa! Did you get attacked by something?" Stephen asked with wide eyes, a bit afraid of what was giving Kendall such an irritation. Kendall's eyes went wide, knowing what they were from as his hand ran along his neck, pushing down on the tender spots. Jeez had Stella bitten him hard.

"_Shit_. Is it that bad?" Kendall asked worried, his sage green eyes looking into Bryan's blue ones. Bryan knew that look. It was the look that he had given Jake, Alex and Stephen when him and Lisa had just started dating, and she had done the same exact thing to him. The guilty eyed look of a girlfriend's sexual advance. He smirked and chuckled.

"So I guess Kacey _does_ bite," Bryan said with a smirk, Kendall's green eyes looking at him with some sort of worry and anxiety, but also pride. Kendall swallowed hard and went to cover up his neck with his scarf when Alex whisked him around.

"These are from Kacey?" he exclaimed, surveying the tons of love bits and bruises Kendall had received. Kendall chuckled awkwardly, a little annoyed at Bryan for bringing it up but also a bit proud. Neither Alex, Stephen nor Jake could capture Stella's heart, and he had been able to perfectly.

"Woah. She must bite hard man," Stephen said with a gleeful chuckle, as Kendall backed away from Alex touching his neck gently, covering it up with his scarf. "Did it feel good?" he asked curiously as Kendall awkwardly chuckled the question off.

"I don't get it. I mean you walk in the store, she kisses you, and now she's giving you love bites? Jeez Knight, I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to screw you before you go," Alex said sheepishly, chuckling. Kendall's face immediately got hot as he turned to Jake, getting his stick back, his eyes cast low in embarrassment and secrecy. He didn't want to tell _anyone _that he and Stella had made love, except James, Carlos and Logan of course. But truthfully, it was something between him and her that was too sacred and special to be tossed around. Too late. There was silence as Alex, Stephen, and Jake all looked at each other, and then back at Kendall. Bryan touched Kendall on the shoulder with an odd grin, and confused, furrowed eyebrows.

"Don't tell me that you…and Kacey?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Kendall bit his lower lip and skated around the boys for a second, stick handling the puck, looking down, not saying anything.

"No freaking way!" Bryan exclaimed, patting Kendall on the shoulder as he halted. He hugged him close and smiled.

"Dude, you are a legend. Look at you!" Bryan said hitting his shoulders, as Kendall gave the remaining three a mild, embarrassed smirk. If only Bryan knew just how horrible he was at trying to be nice to Kendall. Stephen sighed incredulously. Kendall knew Bryan was just trying to be friendly, and for him to make Kendall fit in with the guys. Unfortunately, he _sucked_ at it.

"Finally, I wasn't the only virgin, and now—now you had to screw it all up," he said to Kendall helplessly flailing his arms upset as Jake gave him a strange look and chuckle.

"I'm right here, man. Still a virgin, _just _like you," he said cocking his eyebrow to his friend but Stephen sighed and flailed his hand toward Jake.

"You don't count bro, you're waiting on marriage," he grumbled. Jake sighed and shrugged as Alex looked at Kendall with more of an entertained, idyllic look.

"When? I mean…please tell me…not in my house," Bryan said with a small chuckle, his arm around Kendall's shoulders as the boy looked up at him with a bright, yet almost shameful grin, nodding his head no. He had wanted to keep this a secret, and Bryan was starting to figure it out, as he sighed deeply and took his hand from Kendall's shoulder.

"I didn't think you had it in ya Knight, but man was I wrong. Looks like you're my new hero for bedding that piece of ass," Alex said chuckling lightly, offering Kendall a handshake. Kendall's eyes immediately went dark. He knew he hadn't liked Alex when he met him, and now, talking about Stella like that made him angrier than ever. He could excuse it the first time when Alex knew nothing about them, but now, now things were getting personal.

"She's not a piece of ass, Alex. She's my **girlfriend**," Kendall said menacingly, his jaw clenched tightly. It was the first time he had used the word "girlfriend" to label Stella. Hell, it was the first time he had labeled her as anything. But the word came out naturally, no hitching or hesitation. Bryan stepped back a bit as Kendall skated an inch or two forward where Alex gave him a "Come on, really?" type of look.

"You've known her for less than a week Knight," he said chuckling patronizingly. "Now I can't explain the whole kissing you off the bat thing, but it looks like she must be _really_ easy to have given in already," Alex chuckled lightly, as Kendall's insides began to flare up with anger. He clenched his fists at his sides, and bit his lip white.

"**Don't** talk about her like that," Kendall whispered deathly with alit eyes, piercing through Alex's face. Alex gave Kendall an odd look as there was silence between the two. Kendall Knight's insides were boiling up, about to spill.

Ever since his father died, a lot of things had changed about the boy. Aside from his negative attitude, while Kendall had _always_ been a passionate person, he sometimes got **overly **passionate about the wrong things. It had started the night his father died and he wrecked his room out of rage. His mother always noticed how Kendall would get angrier about simple things, like frustrating math homework, or losing hockey games after his father's passing.

She thought many times about having Kendall see a therapist regularly, but the idea was always shot down as she lay in bed at night, thinking of how it would just make him angrier and less trusting of her. It was nights where she could hear Kendall sobbing through the thin walls of the house, immediately after the accident, banging things around his room and cursing that she wished she could turn and nestle into her husband's warm arms, asking him what she should do about their son's behavior. There were also nights where Kendall would lose it, and yell at his Baby Sister, causing strong-willed Katie to curl up into her mother's arms, hysterically crying, not being able to handle being yelled at by now the only man in her life.

Kim had even experienced it this vacation when Kendall had broken down about his father the second night they were here, but tried to shake it off as Kendall being stressed. Things had been better the past few months, with Kendall being able to control his anger more easily, and _definitely_ better lately with Stella coming into Kendall's life so gracefully. But Stella was a completely different story than Kendall's father. She was something new to get angry, and overly passionate about.

Kendall Knight was about to lose it again.

"What's wrong? It seems like you grabbed one with a lot of experience," Alex said evilly motioning to the bites on his neck. "Which is good, cause God knows you don't know what you're doing with a _beautiful_, _**naked**_, blonde," Alex said tauntingly, cocking his eyebrow. The raven-haired boy was just **asking** for trouble, and everyone on the ice knew it. It didn't bother Kendall that he was basically making fun of him for being a virgin—which he wasn't anymore—meanwhile this boy had probably fucked half the girls in their junior class.

"Come on Alex, stop. He really likes her," Bryan said helplessly from behind Kendall in a sensible tone of voice. Alex looked at him, but quickly ignored him as his eyes went back to Kendall's. The two boys were locked in a deathly stare battle, the tension between them thick against the cold air that puffed from their mouths.

"You're just jealous she's not **your** girlfriend, and that she's rejected you on _**more**_than one occasion," Kendall growled out, turning the asshole switch in Alex's head up a notch. Alex looked at Kendall incredulously, Jake's eyes got wide and Stephen quietly skated back a few steps, not wanting to get involved. All three boys knew how Alex could get. The pretty boy with pale white skin, dark blue eyes and perfectly shiny black hair looked Kendall up and down with a condescending eye.

"I wouldn't want her to be my girlfriend anyway," Alex said cocking his head angrily, a sneering smile on his face. "She's only good for a short fuck."

With those words Kendall lunged at Alex and pushed him down to the ice, and started taking control. He instantly delivered a right hook to Alex's jaw, making the pretty boy see stars as Kendall's heart raced up out of his throat.

"You **fucking** bastard," Kendall yelled out, his voice full of fury, straddling the boy's waist on the ice, taking swings at his face, his entire body shaking, puffs of air exuding from his mouth, his cheeks red, face flush.

"**Kendall!** Kendall, stop man," Bryan exclaimed nervously, approaching the boy quickly and trying to wrangle him off Alex. Kendall resisted Bryan's grasp, hitting him away, his heart beating out of his chest, his throat dry. Kendall delivered a few more blows to Alex's face who had tried to fight back, before Bryan and Jake pulled him off of Alex, and pushed him back, where he fell a bit on the ice, his chest heaving, his eyes heavy with fire.

"Jeez, Knight. What'd you do to him?" Stephen asked in awe, leaning down to the bleeding Alex, whose eyes were still angry with fury. His chest heaved heavily, blood stained his shirt, his nose bleeding and bruises already coming to the surface on his perfect face. The three boys stood around Alex, not expecting him to retaliate since Kendall had done a good number on him. But Alex pushed himself off the slippery ice, his eyes the darkest near black. There was no _**way**_ junior hockey left wing Alex Callum was going to be beat up by some _sophomore_ he barely knew.

"You **fucking** prick," Alex screamed out with fury that nearly broke the ice. Kendall, who was still laying back on the ice, in shock from what he had done had no chance as Alex lunged on him, reversing the roles as he beat Kendall's head into the ice violently.

"Fuck Alex, stop it!" Stephen cried, as he went over to the boy—who stood almost the exact height as Kendall—and tried to wrangle him off the poor boy, as Alex took no shame in violently punching his face in. With the help of Jake, Bryan and Stephen, they successfully pushed Alex back onto the ice, Stephen and Jake instantly skating over to Alex, and Bryan kneeling next to Kendall.

Alex hadn't been on Kendall nearly as long as Kendall had been on him, but Bryan could already see Kendall's injuries were far worse. Alex had a reputation of being the most violent hockey player the _county_ had ever seen. He got fouls constantly, at least four penalties a game, and had started numerous amounts of fights on the ice.

"Kendall, you okay man?" Bryan asked the blonde, whose lip was bloody and bruised, indents from Alex's knuckles on his cheek, and a bad, red, bump above his eyebrow.  
Bryan cursed himself, knowing his mother and Kendall's mother were going to freak out about this when he got him home. But Bryan knew he needed to get Kendall home fast. God knows what Alex did to him.

"Come on, buddy. We're gonna get you home," Bryan said nervously, trying his best to pick up Kendall, helping him up as the injured and beaten boy lay against Bryan's shoulder, his eyes cast low.

"I'll text you guys, alright?" Bryan shouted to them, beginning to skate away towards their duffels with Kendall leaning on his shoulder.

"Wait!" Jake shouted, skating over to Bryan and Kendall with Kendall's beloved hockey stick in hand. Bryan smiled at Jake and then looked at Alex who was still fuming with anger, his scarf held up to his bloody nose. Bryan, holding the stick on one hand looked at Kendall, whose green eyes seemed to smile, his lips curled up into a small smile.

"Gotta stand up for my girl."

* * *

Bryan huddled Kendall through the kitchen door, closing it with a light slam, putting his fingers to his lips. Kendall nodded and swallowed hard, letting out a small groan of discomfort. Luckily, if Kendall did have a concussion, Bryan had managed to keep him awake the whole fifteen minute trek home, even though the boy looked like he could fall asleep at any moment. They had talked about school, hockey, and even touched on the topic of sex. Kendall could faintly hear his mother and Jenny talking in the ever echoing living room.

"…maybe next door…I'm so happy…since we were kids," was all Kendall could make out of the conversation, ignoring it as Bryan pulled a chair from the table out for him.

"Here, sit and I'll get you some ice," he said nervously.

"Bryan? Is that you?" he heard his mom holler from the living room, her footsteps approaching the kitchen. She walked in and her eyes went to her son at the fridge, but then instantly went to the broken, beaten, Kendall Knight sitting in her kitchen chair.

"Bryan Anthony Tregger, what happened?" Jenny exclaimed in horror rushing over to Kendall.

"Long story, ma," he said sighing anxiously, as he brought the ice over to Kendall, who was now more awake as Jenny kneeled beside him touching his hair, examining all his bumps and bruises. Alex had taken a few good swings at him.

"Let me go get, Kim," Jenny sighed anxiously, running out of the kitchen. Kendall took the ice from Bryan and looked up at him, his green eyes thankfully more alive now as he placed it on his head, which hurt most.

"Thanks, man," Kendall said in a low, disgruntled voice. He took a deep sigh and looked down at his hands, which had a bit of blood on them. He smiled at the fact that it was Alex's and not his. Thunderous footsteps were heard in the next room as Kendall sighed.

"My mom is going to _freak,_" he said in a whisper, closing his eyes and slumping back in the chair at the impending frenzy.

"Kendall!" his mother shrieked rushing over to him in the chair, kneeling beside him as Jenny had before. Jenny followed Kim in walking slower, arms crossed, giving Bryan a death stare, as he sighed deeply. He was _supposed_ to make sure Kendall had been having a good time here in Thief River Falls, but he sucked at it. **Big time.**

"What happened, baby?" she asked, taking the ice away from his head and shaking her head at his injuries. He was banged up in the beautiful, chiseled face pretty badly, her soft fingers tracing over the red blotches, and the dried blood caked on his face.

"A fight, ma. I play hockey, it happens," Kendall chuckled, hoping to leave Stella out of this completely. He looked up at Bryan with knowing eyes and Bryan nodded, silently agreeing to keep his big mouth shut, since it hadn't helped either teen since Kendall's arrival.

"Let's get this off," Kim said worried, motioning to Kendall's scarf. The second his warm flesh was exposed, he closed his eyes tight, and cursed himself silently in his head. Would there be any way possible to pass off Stella's markings as bruises from getting beat up? He hoped so, as he heard his mom's reaction.

"Oh, sweetheart. You have bruises all down your neck," Mrs. Knight sighed out upsettingly, tracing them gently. Kendall overdramatically winced, hoping she would forget about them as her sad eyes scanned the rest of Kendall's injuries, her hand moving past them.

"What did I tell you about playing competitive hockey with Alex Callum, Bryan? I **constantly** tell you he plays too rough, and now look at what he did," Jenny yelled at her son with a furrowed brow, disappointed in him. Bryan sighed and looked at Kendall with remorseful eyes. Kendall swallowed hard.

"Mrs. Tregger, Bryan was the one who pulled me off Alex. If he wasn't there, I would've lost control. He was the one that broke it all up," Kendall muttered out, knowing that Bryan was just trying to help as always. Jenny looked at her son and couldn't help but feel proud as Kim looked at her son with upset eyes.

"Sweetheart, I know hockey is a violent game, and I understand, but look at what happened to you," she said, tears almost coming to her eyes. Kendall and his mother looked at each other with a silent understanding. She wasn't mad at him for getting into a fight. She wasn't mad at him for playing hockey. She was concerned. With one look in her son's green eyes, she knew that he had gotten over angry. And that it wasn't just a simple game of hockey that had gotten out of hand.

It was something bigger.

"I'm sorry, mom," Kendall muttered out, the ice on his head. Kim stood up, and leaned down, kissing Kendall's hair and his temple, her hand rubbing his shoulder gently and comfortingly.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" she asked him, knowing the answer would be no. This was the usual after-fight conversation the two had. Kendall chuckled, wincing a bit from his split lip as he sighed deeply. He looked up in his mother's eyes and shook his head.

"No. I think I'll just go upstairs and rest for a bit," he said stoically. Jenny swallowed hard and put on a sympathetic smile, looking at Kim with remorseful eyes.

"Is there anything you need, Kendall?" she asked him sweetly. Kendall, still managing to put on a bright face, smiled, the ice almost melting against his sandy blonde hair as he stood up. He felt a bit sore in the ribs. Alex had been starting to attack his torso when the guys pulled him off his body.

"No, Mrs. Tregger. But thank you," he said smiling. She smiled and looked at Bryan with a stern eye.

"You and me will talk later," she said with a definitive look, turning around on one foot as Kim hugged her son close to him, her hand rubbing his shoulder soothingly. Bryan took notice of the impending mother/son moment and swallowed hard.

"I'm—I'm sorry, Mrs. Knight," he said nervously and awkwardly, looking at Kendall's injuries. Kim smiled at the boy, reaching out to pat his shoulder comfortingly.

"It's alright, Bryan. It wasn't your fault. Thank you for helping Kendall," she said with a warm smile as Bryan sighed deeply. He looked at Kendall and half-smiled.

"Get some rest, dude. I'll see you in a bit," he said half-smiling, giving Kendall's arm a light punch and walking out of the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.

Kendall turned to his mother with those sad, heavy, green eyes. "We both know this wasn't a hockey fight, Kendall. So we're going to go upstairs and clean you up, we **will** be having a talk," she said sternly, but with love. Kendall, who was so exhausted, cold, and miserable at the moment, dreamed of nothing but laying back on a warm bed, and a comfy pillow. Kim kissed her son's head tenderly, her hand rubbing his back as she held him tight to her.

"Okay," Kendall agreed in a mumbled voice.

* * *

Kimberly Knight held a warm cloth, soaked in peroxide to her son's lip sighing as he winced, his sage green eyes now a dark gray.

"So, are you gonna tell me what happened?" she asked with a loving, tender but stern as brick voice. Kendall sighed as she pulled the cloth away from his bleeding lip, and looked away from her, running his hands through his shaggy blonde hair. He knew he wasn't going to be able to fool his mother, or make up any lies. He might as well just tell her what happened, leaving out the Stella is a runaway part, and also the fact that he had lost his virginity to a girl he met five days ago.

"This kid Alex was saying all this stuff about Kacey, and—I lost it," Kendall mumbled lowly, not being able to look at his mother. Kim sighed and rested her hand on Kendall's thigh. The two hadn't been able to talk about much of anything since his father's death, but this week was proving the last few months wrong, and she hoped to keep it this way.

"What was he saying about her?" she asked him, running her hand through his hair, checking for any unruly bumps or bleeding cuts on his head. Kendall grumbled, his anger rising just at the remembrance of the comments.

"..stuff…" he grumbled out upset, his eyes closed. Kim sighed.

"What kind of stuff?" she asked curiously, running her hand along her son's arm gently. Kendall sighed and looked in his mother's eyes.

"Sexual stuff, alright?" he snapped at her nastily, his anger from Alex radiating onto the one person who was just trying to get him to calm down and talk to him. Kim was taken aback, and getting a bit nervous.

"Sweetheart, I know you're upset and angry, but calm down," she said in a calm voice. While she was quite upset by the way Kendall was talking to her, she didn't have the heart to yell at him. Not after all he'd been through this year. It was definitely one of her weaknesses. Kendall's heart beat faster and faster as he looked at his mother with violent eyes.

"I can't calm down. Not after what he said about her. I hate him, I **hate** him," Kendall growled, clenching his fists tightly. His mother's warm touch left his arm, as she looked at him with sad, judgmental eyes.

"I thought you finally had this under control, Kendall," she said to him in that disapproving tone of voice, which seemed mocking to the teen boy. Kendall shot her a look that said it all.

"How am I supposed to have any control when some _asshole_ talks about my girlfriend like that?" he exclaimed raising his voice, his voice breaking a bit. Kim was beginning to get a bit scared of Kendall's anger, as it brought her back to those nights she heard him in the house, cursing and sobbing over her husband's death.

"Calm down," Kim said sternly, her jaw set, her eyes dark. Kendall got up from the bed, his face flushed, breathing heavily.

"I can't **fucking** calm down, alright mom? You don't _know_ what it's like to have someone talk about someone you care about like that!" he yelled, his voice cracking even more, as he stares his mother down in the eyes. Kim was silent as Kendall's chest heaved heavily, his mind racing, his brow furrowed. Kendall swallowed hard and bit his lower lip.

"Only dad would understand," Kendall cried shamefully, his voice breaking, turning away from his mother and quickly walking out of the room, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Kendall," Kim called, as she quickly got up from the bed, picking up her speed as she followed him down the stairs. Kendall angrily pulled on a jacket, not bothering with a hat or scarf and slipped out the front door, closing it with a loud slam behind him. Kim stood on the stairs, tears trickling down her face, as she sat down slowly, and hung her head miserably.

It was back.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed it :D Review please? Until next week ;D (which will be M again ;D)**


	8. Interruptions

**A/N: Hey guys! So guess what? This is the last chapter at the Treggers for now. Next week we'll see Kendall interacting with our favorite boys ;D with a twist of course!**Bittersweet**,** **a future fic with all the guys :D and make sure to check out:  
**Past The Sorrow** by waterwicca (she is frickin absolutely amazing. Enough said)  
**Ampersand **by christinainwonderland (she is also amazing)  
and stories by Tawniee and casblancasx3**

**It would make my life if you guys could review :D Tell me what you think about this story. Your reviews are so lovely, and I read and try to respond to everyone of them! Also, anonymous reviewers, don't be shy! Spread the Stella/Kendall love! :] Thanks so much for all the support to my regulars reviewers, you guys made this story entirely.**

**Make sure to check out my new story,**

***IMPORTANT: This chapter is rated Mature for scenes in the middle, and towards the end.**

**I don't own BTR, only Stella and the Treggers. I do not own Iris ****by the Goo Goo Dolls.  
**

* * *

_Chapter Eight: Interruptions_

"Why are we going back one day early, mom? Is it cause Kendall beat the crap out of that Alex kid?" Katie Knight asked her mother energetically, bouncing on the bed.

Kim took the last of the suitcases from under the bed, plopping them on top. Kim ignored her daughter's question, a million and five things going through her mind. While they were set to spend two more nights at the Tregger's, Kim felt the need to go home. Kendall had already gotten in with this Alex kid, his anger fits were returning and she felt she had been enough of a burden on her best friend. What was staying there an extra day going to do?

"Katie, try your brother on his cell again," Kim said nervously, going over the set of drawers and beginning to pull out the family's clothes. She had tried to call Kendall five times since he had stormed out of the house, and she was a nervous wreck. Bryan had offered to go out looking for him, but Kim declined, hoping and praying that Kendall would come back on his own, but now, she wasn't so sure. She might take up Bryan's offer. Here her son was, walking around in an unfamiliar town, in the snow, all beaten up and bruised.

Katie slipped her new cell phone she had gotten for Christmas from her pocket, went through her contact list, of which consisted of Serena, Kendall and her mother, and clicked on Kendall's name, holding the phone up to her ear. Kim nervously stood there as Katie bit her lower lip, listening through the rings.

_"Hey, it's Kendall. Can't get to the phone right now, leave a message and I'll call you back. Peace," _Katie heard in the phone, as she hung it up looking at her mom with scared, vulnerable eyes, shaking her head no. Kim sighed nervously and ran her hands through her hair when Jenny and Bryan appeared at the door, each with sad faces.

"Did he come back yet?" Jenny asked Katie and Kim. Katie nodded no and Kim rested her hands on her hips, looking down, near tears. She was beside herself at this point.

"I don't know what to do," Kim said softly, her voice weary, bringing her hand to her mouth. Jenny frowned and came over to her best friend, hugging her tightly and sighing.

"He'll be fine, Kim. I'm sure he is on his way back now," she said, trying false optimism. Bryan sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He knew where Kendall went. He had mentioned to the boy that Kacey was working at the General Store today, and Bryan just knew he was there.

"I think I know where he might be," Bryan spoke.

* * *

Kendall walked up to the glass door of the General Store, and he could see Stella, illuminated by a single, hanging light above her at the counter, writing something down on a notepad. It was near closing time, around 5:30, so there wasn't anyone else except for Stella in the store. His face instantly curled into a smile at seeing her and the pain he felt from his injuries instantly went away. Main Street wasn't as crowded as it usually was, only a few couples holding hands, some kids with parents, all bundled up. It was freezing out today, and Kendall had been so upset walking out of the house that he hadn't bothered with gloves, a scarf or a hat.

He walked into the General Store determined, Stella picking her head up at the sound of the bell. She could immediately see something was wrong with Kendall, due to the bruises on his face, his bloodied lip, and the pain that lay behind his green eyes.

"Kendall Knight, what happened?" Stella asked frightfully, coming from behind the counter as he walked into the store, thankful for the warmth it had. Kendall sighed and gave Stella a small smile, as she immediately brought her hands to his cold face, touching the slight bruising he had obtained.

"I got into a bit of a fight with Alex Callum," Kendall said with a small chuckle, as Stella's blue eyes didn't leave his injuries. She sighed and touched his face with her hand softly, as he melted into her warm touch. She looked up at him with a concerned, twisted face.

"About what?" she asked, as if she already knew it was over her. Kendall had decided not to tell her.

"Hockey," he lied, scoffing a bit with a small smile. Stella sighed and looked at his lip and bit her lower lip upset.

"Are you alright?" she asked timidly. Kendall smiled, all his anger, and all his fear disappearing easily took Stella's hands in his own, rubbing his fingers through hers.

"I can take a punch, don't you worry," he said smugly, giving her a smile.

"Well it looks like more than a punch, hockey-head," Stella chuckled out, making sure she had seen every injury on Kendall's face. She looked in his eyes, and leaned up to kiss his lips tenderly. She easily suckled his top lip, his bottom one still bruised and swollen, as his hand went to her back, pushing him into her. She smacked her lips on his, slowly parting her mouth and brushing her tongue against Kendall's lower lip. Kendall winced a bit, as pulled away for a second as Stella chuckled awkwardly.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" she asked. Kendall chuckled and nodded no, touching his lip gently.

"Nah. It's just a bit sensitive," he said chuckling, making sure it wasn't bleeding. Kendall looked at her with a smile, touching her hands gently, as she studied his green eyes. Stella wasn't fooled. She still saw the pain behind them even if it disappeared from him, she could still sense it.

"Something is wrong," she said softly, furrowing her blonde eyebrows looking at him quizzically. Kendall nodded no, lying horribly as his cell phone ringer went off. He sighed, dropped Stella's hands and reached into his jean pocket for his cell phone. Without even looking at the caller ID, he pressed 'ignore' and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Who was that?" Stella asked curiously.

"My mom," Kendall said curtly, giving her a small smile, moving closer to her. Then it clicked.

"Did you get into an argument with your mom about your fight?" she asked, hitting the nail on the head. She took Kendall's arm and whisked him behind the counter as he let out a small chuckle at her forwardness.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Kendall said, as Stella sat down behind the counter, where there was a pillow and blanket set up. Kendall chuckled at her little campout station as he sat down, his knees to his chest, the small scrapes on his knuckles scabbed up a bit.

"This is what you do at work?" he asked laughing, looking around at the food Stella had behind the counter, and the comfy little hang out space she had.

"The General Store isn't always _poppin', _silly," she said chuckling, throwing a blanket over the two of them. "I get bored." Kendall sighed and put his arm around the beautiful, blonde angel next to him, as she cuddled into him. She leaned into his chest, feeling the cold from outside instantly go away as he cuddled more into her. He placed a chaste kiss on her blonde locks and sighed as she looked up at him.

"So, you're fighting with your mom?" she asked, returning her gaze to Kendall's hand, where she took his knuckles, and gently kissed them, encasing his hand hers. Kendall sighed.

"Yeah, but it's not a big deal. She just…she doesn't understand some things," he muttered out, pausing. "It's times like these, I really wish I had my dad to talk to," Kendall whispered softly, staring down at his and Stella's hands holding one another. All was silent as Stella cuddled into him more, taking in his scent and warmth.

"You guys were that close?" she asked softly, hoping the question would make Kendall smile, instead of frown. He smiled and nodded, his eyes still cast down.

"_Incredibly_ close," he said. "He was my best friend." Stella nuzzled into him more and looked up in his eyes with a bright, happy expression on her face.

"Can you tell me about him?" she asked softly, her pink lips pursed into a smile. Kendall smiled down at her with those adorable dimples and let out a small laugh.

"You want to know about my father?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow and confused look. She nodded and smiled.

"I only know that he died. What about all the good stuff?" she asked smiling. Kendall smiled and sighed deeply, stroking the soft skin on her hand with his thumb.

"Well, we were always open with each other," he started off with a smile, the beautiful relationship he had with his father back in his head. "There was nothing I couldn't tell him, there was nothing I kept from him. I told him the first time I got drunk, the first time I kissed a girl, the first time I was offered, and politely rejected, drugs," Kendall joked smiling as Stella beamed up at him, loving the smile on his face. She rested her head on his shoulder even more and smiled.

"Did he look like you?" she asked lightly. Kendall sighed and nodded with a closed-lipped smile, remembering everything about his dad's face. The same dark eyebrows, the same green eyes, the some blonde hair.

"The spitten image," he chuckled out. Stella smiled and bit her bottom lip.

"Spitt_**ing**_ image, silly," she chuckled, correcting him like she had the first night she had met him. It instantly bought Kendall back to when he had met Stella, the intense rush, sexual tension and confusion which was now all sorted out and he smiled at her, gently combing his fingers through his hair.

There was silence between them as they just laid there, each other's breaths enough to be a full conversation.

"You miss him?" she asked with a small, sympathetic smile. Kendall swallowed hard and nodded, leaning his chin on the top of her head with a sigh.

"Every single day," he muttered out softly. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I think the worst part, is that he was taken from me. It's not like he left by choice, and even if he had, I know he still would've been there for me…it's just…he's…h-he's gone. It's like a part of me is missing," Kendall muttered out softly, his voice weakening and he closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to let the tears out. He just couldn't help it when it came to his father.

"He's still very much with you, Kendall Knight," Stella whispered, watching as a single, warm tear flew down his cheek, onto their enclosed hands with a splatter. Stella felt the tear burn a hole through her skin. She didn't like when Kendall was upset…but she understood.

"I know," he said, clearing his throat, regaining his slightly lost composure. "It's just—I can't _see_ his love anymore," he whispered out, like a holy prayer. Stella brought his hand to her lips and kissed it gently, with warm lips, and looked up into his eyes. She brought her hand to his bruised cheek, and made her way up, to run her fingers through his rustic, blonde locks.

"You can see mine," she whispered out lowly, her lips pursed in a small, sympathetic smile.

She loved Kendall Knight. The way he spoke, the way he held her hand, his sarcastic remarks, the way he was so passionate about his life, the way his family was first, the way he was a gentlemen, the way he made love, the way he sang. Everything. The past five days had been an absolute dream for Stella. She had never been loved. It was new for her to feel this way. She never wanted it to end.

He smiled at her sympathetically, and stared in her piercing blue eyes. Silence.

"We're gonna have to make tomorrow special, Stella. I leave the day after that," Kendall whispered out painfully.

It was the first time, this whole vacation Kendall had verbally acknowledged that he was just some "visitor" and Stella was just some "runaway". It hurt him to say it, but it was reality. Ever since early Christmas morning, he had been thinking about how he had to go back Duluth, his small little town without Stella. And now bringing up his father, and the fact that he was now going to be separated from _Stella's_ love for a while made the boy cringe inside.

Stella looked up in his eyes, her piercing blue ones staring into his beautiful mossy green ones.

"I know," she said sadly, trying to avoid talking about it. "But can we not talk about that now? That's tomorrow. Be happy for today, Kendall Knight," she whispered.

Stella had thought a lot about Kendall leaving. Would there be any way to contact him? Would he visit soon? How was she going to keep this love alive? Stella didn't know any of the answers, but she knew the second he left her, that she'd find them…in love.

The girl's change of heart had been so radical the past few days, Stella didn't know how she was still functioning. She hadn't even known there _was_ such a thing as love five days ago. It was myth she heard of. But now, as Kendall Knight gracefully entered her life, she was _sure_ it was out there, and sure she had found it.

All that was left was to open up…completely.

"Okay," he said softly. Kendall smiled widely at Stella, looking at her in all her beautiful, glory. He had never loved someone so much, and what she had said was true. He leaned in, breathing hitched and passionately kissed her soft, supple pink lips. His sugary tongue slid into her mouth effortlessly, Kendall ignoring his painful bruised lip, as he brought his hand from hers, to her thigh, moving up it, squeezing it through her thin track pants.

Stella became lost in his kisses as she moved both hands around his broad neck, resting on each other at the nape of his neck as their lips parted for a second with an audible smack, before quickly engulfing one another again.

Stella moaned gently into the kiss, playing with Kendall's hair, running her fingers through it as under the blanket, the boys' hand went directly to the waistline of her pants. Stella parted from him, as his hand rested at the waistline, not wanting to go further without her permission, even though he knew it was already granted. They had made love at least three times, and already, Kendall knew exactly how her body responded to his touch, and what she adored. She nuzzled her soft lips into his ear, suckling on the tender shell, giving him the shivers.

"_Mhm," _she moaned out sweetly, as if answering a polite question from a stranger.

Kendall immediately dove his hand into the humid heat, his fingers tracing down to her desired, as he began to harshly rub her through the cotton fabric of her underwear. Stella's hips immediately bucked a bit, as she turned more to him, Kendall's lips capturing hers in a passionate kiss.

Stella let out a soft moan into his lips, to which he smiled at in the kiss, nibbling her bottom lip as she began to writhe her hips even more against his tough, callused fingers. Kendall moved his hand at a faster place as Stella grew damper, and damper beneath him.

"_Babe," _she muttered out, her words turning to butter. Kendall was surprised at the new nickname, but felt it as a surge of confidence. He could feel himself beginning to get a bit ahead of himself, as he moved lips with Stella like a song. She panted loudly, he moaned into her lips, she bucked her hips, he moved faster, she groaned, he groaned.

"_Ken-dalllllll."_

"Ste-llahhh."

Both lovers were so into the moment, they didn't even hear the light bell of the door as it opened.

"Hello?" Bryan Tregger asked into the empty, cold store, which had only one light hanging above the counter. He had heard movement and heavy breathing upon entering, and now was scared to death of what was beyond the counter.

"Fuck," Kendall exclaimed silently, his right hand quickly pulling from Stella's pants, and his left hand, which was just about to palm his stiffened erection, pulling away from his body completely. Stella breathed heavily against the back of the counter for a second, swallowing hard before she heard Bryan come a bit closer.

"Kendall?" he asked cluelessly, his voice a bit weak from the cold. Kendall leaned his head back against the counter, looking down at the tent in his jeans with wide eyes.

"Shit," he whispered miserably as Stella took the initiative, making sure to eliminate the pure lust and want in her eyes, before popping up from behind the counter, her breathing almost regulated. She faced Bryan with a smile, and he looked a bit surprised as she fixed her hair, and wiped her swollen lips.

"Oh. Hi Kacey," he said politely, a bit nervous. His blue eyes darted behind the counter where a hidden Kendall was helplessly trying to calm down, running his hand over his face, trying to think of anything but the feeling of Stella's body.

"Hi, Bryan. What brings you here?" she asked a bit breathy, already knowing of course, but not letting on.

"I was just looking for Kendall. I—I thought he might be here," he said confused, arching his neck a bit behind the counter, catching a glimpse of the tall blonde boy. Kendall sighed deeply, and got up from his sitting position, his bulge still a bit present as he popped up and smiled at Bryan, making sure the counter covered him.

"Hey, dude," Kendall said in a friendly, breathy voice. It wasn't like he was _annoyed_ that Bryan had just interrupted what quite possibly could've been the hottest sex of his life. Well, maybe a bit annoyed. But for Bryan to come all the way down here in the cold, at night, it must've been important.

"Hey, man," Bryan said a bit awkwardly, as his mind clicked and he finally realized what he had interrupted, seeing the look on Kendall's face, Stella's red, swollen lips, and both of their breathy speeches. He looked from Stella to Kendall with a lost, surprised and embarrassed look on his face, stepping back awkwardly.

"Oh-I'm-I'm sorry, I-I didn't, I-I," he stuttered out, his face turning red against his blonde hair and fair skin. Stella chuckled and gave Bryan a polite, sweet smile.

"We were just talking about, Kendall's father, Bryan. It's alright," Stella lied for both of their sakes, easing Bryan's embarrassment, and giving Kendall's hand a squeeze. Bryan swallowed hard and nodded, his eyes turning to Kendall who was confused.

"Your mom is looking for you, dude. She's—she's pretty upset," he said sadly to the boy, which made Kendall's green eyes sink. He knew his mom wanted to talk, and he would talk to her eventually, maybe, but it was only then he realized that his mom was probably hurting.

Kendall never felt selfish about mourning his father's death, but sometimes, he** did** forget that not only had he lost a father, but his mother had lost the man she had been madly in love with, for over twenty years. Kendall instantly shot a look at Stella, squeezing her hand tightly to make sure she was still there.

Kendall couldn't **imagine** what it would be like losing Stella. And they had only known each other for five days.

"I guess we better get back then," Kendall said throaty, zipping up his jacket, praying to God he still wasn't showing evidence of the rendezvous. He turned to Stella as Bryan stepped back a bit and Kendall smiled at her.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe I can come over for lunch?" Kendall asked with a smile, signaling the fact he would bring a nice, full lunch for Stella and him they could share together.

"Sounds great," Stella said smiling. She quaintly leaned up, pecking Kendall on the cheek, her warm hands on his face as she chuckled. "I'll be waiting." Kendall chuckled, as she held his hands softly, and looked in his eyes.

"Bye," she said in a small voice, as Kendall stepped from behind the counter, in the clear. Stella turned to Bryan and smiled, tapping her fingers on the counter.

"Goodnight, Bryan. Make sure you get my boyfriend home safe," Stella said, as Kendall's heart jumped in his chest. He turned back on one heel to look at Stella with an incredulous smile, as she gave him a sweet, sexy grin in return.

"Will do, Kacey," Bryan said waving, as the two boys passed through the doorway with the small chime of the bell, into the nasty cold.

* * *

Kendall and Bryan walked into the Tregger house, Kendall's heart afloat from how Stella had called him her boyfriend. Bryan had apologized the entire way home about interrupting Kendall's escapades with Stella, and Kendall had constantly reassured him it wasn't a really big deal.

As they walked through the front door, Bryan closing it behind him, Kendall heard his mother run down the stairs with Katie, and Jenny, her face amiss with tears and stress.

"Oh thank God," she muttered as she reached the foot, running to him, as her arms threw themselves around her cold, damaged son, holding him tight to her. Kendall's hands went around his mother's back as well, as he held her tightly, his chin resting on her red hair.

"I was so worried, baby," she said, muffled in his winter coat. Kendall swallowed hard and sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry," he said silently. Jenny motioned Bryan to leave the room with her eyes, as he gave Kendall a faint smile before retreating into the kitchen with his mother. Kim took her face from Kendall's jacket and looked up at him, as his eyes moved to Katie, who was silently looking at the reunion.

Katie Knight didn't cry at much, but the thought of possibly losing another man in her life in _any_ way made her go near crazy, and the fact that the weather was icy and snowy didn't make it any better. While Katie was not nearly as close to her father as Kendall was, since he had died, the last few months she had been looking for a man in her older brother, someone who would always be there for her, no matter what the circumstances. And while she had found it, sometimes she worried about Kendall's own grief and attitude, rather than her own.

"You're stupid, Big Brother," Katie said upset, her voice quivering a bit. Kendall raised his eyebrows at the young girl's tone of voice, and the fact that she was scared. It melted his heart a bit, especially since he had even seen too much of Katie this vacation. He looked at her with a sad expression, and walked over to her slowly, his footsteps creaking a bit on the floor.

"I know, Kate," he spoke softly, leaning down and hugging her, planting a kiss on her shiny brown hair. Katie nestled into him a bit, taking in the coldness he radiated, along with his scent as they shared a hug for a few seconds. Kim looked at her daughter and son, and their tight, loving embrace and smiled a bit.

"Katie, why don't you go see if Serena and Jenny need help in the kitchen, alright?" Kim said to her daughter. Katie nodded, as Kendall released her, and she went off into the kitchen happy as a clam. Kim looked into her son's beautiful green eyes and sighed.

"We need to talk," she said sternly. Kendall looked at her with a mature, serious face as the two walked up the large staircase of the Tregger's in silence. They walked down the large hallway without any words spoken, down to the large wood doors of their room. Kendall opened the door for his mother and led her in, closing it behind her.

Kim stood in the middle of the room, which had nearly everything packed up in the large suitcases that sat on the bed. Kendall's eyes swept across the room in confusion at why everything was packed, and Kim could just see the anger boiling up inside him again. She had to stand her ground. She wouldn't let him walk out again. She wouldn't go through that again.

"Wh-why is everything packed, ma?" he asked confused, ending with a disbelieving chuckle, as if the fact that they were obviously leaving early was a joke. Kim took a deep sigh, as Kendall stripped of his jacket and threw it on the bed, it landing atop of a big, zipped up suitcase.

"We're leaving early, Kendall. We'll spend the night here, and then we'll be on the road first thing in the morning," Kim said solemnly.

Kendall's heart nearly jumped out of his chest. They couldn't be leaving tomorrow. He was supposed to spend the day with Stella tomorrow and they were supposed to figure out how to stay in contact tomorrow. They were supposed to finish where they had left off in the General Store tomorrow. No. This couldn't be happening.

"Why?" he blurted out angrily, his green eyes darkening. Kim stood up straight and swallowed hard.

"Because I said so. We have been enough trouble here already, and we should get back home and get everything back to normal, alright?" she spoke sternly, her feet firmly planted on the ground. Kendall breathed heavily and licked his lips, his eyebrows furrowing, his blood beginning to boil.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" he asked seethingly, moving closer to where his mom stood. Kim looked at her son with matching, dark, blue eyes.

"It _means_ that you have caused enough trouble between Bryan and his friends, and you have caused _me_ enough stress on this vacation than I can deal with Kendall. We're going to go home, and everything is going to go back to the way it was," Kim said in her best voice possible. She knew she was hurting Kendall's feelings with each word she said, but she couldn't blame herself for reprimanding him anymore. It needed to be done. He needed some guidance.

"_I've_ caused trouble? Seriously? Okay, so I got into a fight because some guy was talking about my girlfriend. I'm sorry, is that a crime now? To defend someone I really like?" he exclaimed angrily, his voice angry and booming. Kim swallowed hard and closed her eyes. She had to say it. She knew he wouldn't take it well, but she had to say it. She'd been thinking about it since Kendall had lashed out on her the second day they were here. It needed to be brought up, it was a final decision.

"When we get back home, I want you to see a therapist, baby," she muttered out, adding the affectionate name for her son at the end, hoping it would convey the concern she had for him. Kendall looked at his mom in awe. She was scared of him, it was obvious. You could see it in her eyes. His mother thought he was crazy.

"Are you **kidding** me?" he exclaimed angrily at his mother, his breathing picking up even more. His mom wanted him in therapy? Therapy is for crazy people.

"Kendall, this is **not** up for discussion," she would **not** let him yell at her, and she would definitely **not** let him put her through leaving again.

"I'm not going to therapy, alright? Therapy is for crazy people, and I'm not leaving early. I have plans with Kacey tomorrow, and-and I'm not letting **you** ruin them," he said nervously and menacingly. Kendall couldn't believe what came out of his own mouth sometimes. The way he disrespected his mother made him upset, especially when he knew just how much she had given up for them. Mrs. Knight had raised Kendall and Katie beautifully, staying home, going to every PTA meeting, and every school play, dance recital, hockey game. She had given up her life for her children. And Kendall knew it.

Kim was furious.

"I am your mother, Kendall. And if you continue to talk to me this way, and disrespect me, and scare your sister half to _death_, you're going to be in a lot of trouble," she yelled loudly.

"I know you are upset about your father, I know you were close to him, but you cannot act like this anymore!" she yelled at him, tears starting to fall out of her blue eyes.

"You are **not** the only one in this family who is dealing with loss, **alright**? Your father was _my_ husband, and I-I loved him very much," Kim cried, her voice hitching and weak, her breaths heavy.

"I still do. And there is obviously something wrong if you _still_ can't control your anger. All I want to do is help! Let me help you!" Kim cried out to him helplessly, her arms extending out towards her son. Kendall stood frozen as his mom's eyes leaked tears. Kim's voice was soft.

"Jesus Christ, Kendall. Let me help you," she whispered, moving closer to him.

Kendall was frozen. He had never seen his mom so torn with anger and sadness. It upset him greatly, and it made him realize just how bad things had gotten over this vacation, and since his father's death. He definitely did have some sort of anger problem, and just refused to believe it all these months. Sure, his anger after the accident could be explained, the whole two months following he was definitely a mental case. But it should've ceased by now. But it didn't, it had just gotten worse. He had to back down.

He looked at the broken, tired, stressed woman in front of him. While still beautiful, his mother had aged significantly the past few months, and he could only imagine the burden on her heart, as well as his. It scared him.

"Okay," he muttered out, defeated, as Kim looked at him sadly. Her chest rose and fall with exhaustion, tears leaking down his face. Kendall leaned to his mother, and kissed her cheek gently, squeezing her hand comfortingly.

"I'm going to go to Kacey's and say good-bye," he whispered in her ear, telling her, not asking as he turned on one foot out the door, and walked slowly down the hallway, Kim in the room, collapsing on the bed stoically in a fit of tears.

* * *

"You're leaving, _tomorrow_?"

Stella and Kendall sat on the floor of her room, touching hands gently as Kendall looked at her with soft, sad green eyes.

"Yeah. In the morning," he muttered out miserably, looking down at the floor, not being able to look his beautiful girlfriend in the face. All was silent between the two as Stella breathed heavily. Kendall looked up at her, and saw her face pained.

"So I guess, we have to figure out how we are going to stay in contact now," Stella breathed nervously, as Kendall nodded, running his free hand through his hair, his nervous tick.

Silence.

Stella swallowed hard. "I don't have a cell phone, or anything like that," she squeaked out. Kendall nodded and looked into her crystal blue eyes. How was something that had given him so much hope the past few days just going to be ripped out of his life for God knows how long? When was the next time he was going to be able to see Stella?

"I know. Is there any way I can send you letters?" Kendall asked with a small chuckle, laughing at the thought of actually writing a letter rather than sending an e-mail or text message. Stella shrugged.

"This house doesn't get mail. I mean—you could send letters to the General Store," she said with a small smile, the thought lighting up her own face. Kendall smiled at her and nodded, swallowing hard. While it wasn't the most practical and fastest solution, it was something. It was all they had.

"Okay. Then we can do that," Kendall said with a confident smile. Stella smiled back and moved closer to him, pecking his soft lips gently, squeezing his hand tightly. The two parted, leaning their foreheads against each other with a smile.

"So much for worrying about today," Kendall chuckled, joking about Stella's comment earlier in the General Store. Stella chuckled back and rolled her eyes playfully, her hands still encased in Kendall's. There was one question on her mind that had been burning since the second she had realized Kendall would truly be leaving.

"When is the next time I am going to be able to see you, Kendall Knight?" she said gently, looking down at their hands, and how absolutely delicious the warmth that radiated from his was. Kendall sighed and gave Stella small smile.

"I'll be up here again soon. I'll find a way. I promise you," he said sincerely, staring straight into her eyes. Stella nodded and stood straight up, taking Kendall with her, unexpectedly. The two lovers stood up, tight to one another as she Stella took him in her arms, and hugged his thin, slim body to her tightly, nuzzling her face in his warm, blue cardigan.

_**And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now**_Kendall couldn't stop himself from touching Stella. He _had_ to. His hands gently drew down her sides where he rested his hands on her hips, pushing them up under her blue sweater to brush against her warm, silky skin, where he felt like he was in his own personal heaven. The connection between the two, while now physical, was still overpoweringly emotional, and it made Kendall feel willingly inferior, like some force constantly brought him to Stella. Kendall brought his lips to her ear, brushing soft blonde hair away and gently kissing it.

"I don't want to leave you," he whispered scared in her ear, his hands moving to the whispers of her waist, and holding on for dear life. Stella swallowed hard and leaned back into his chest, feeling safe and secure in his strong arms.

"I don't want you to leave me either," Stella said softly as she turned to him in his arms, his hands snaking even further up her back. The two lovers looked into each other's eyes, ignoring every single other unimportant thing around them. They knew this would be the last time for some time.

_**And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight**_

Stella and Kendall mutually leaned into one another, their lips touching softly, the taste of one another exploding in the others mouth. The kiss wasn't thirstful or animalistic as it had been the first time they had been together. It was the most passionate kiss they had ever shared. Kendall held onto Stella's lower back, pushing her into him, as his tongue softly danced with hers, not dominating like usual. The kiss was mutual, as the brisk scent of peppermint of Stella's lips, and the sweet tangy aroma of Kendall's merged to combine the most amazing taste either lover had ever encountered. Kendall's entire body radiated this amazing scent as Stella tried her absolute best to take all of it in, and store it in the part of her brain that would let her remember it forever. The way he tasted, the moistness of his lips, the way his tongue danced with hers. They parted softly with a smack, his hands running up and down her back.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Kendall whispered in her ear, his voice weak.

Kendall's hands held the blonde girl as tight to him as they possibly could, feeling the all too familiar heat from her body on his hands, and go straight to his heart. It nearly brought him to tears, his mind spinning at the real fact that he was going to have to leave Stella behind. And who knows what would come of her? Luckily, even with all the technological advances there were, snail mail could still be depended on. It had to be depended on. It was all they had.

Stella slowly took the initiative as she moved her hands to Kendall's blue cardigan, and slowly slipped her warm fingers under the collar, pushing it off his broad shoulders, where it fell down to the floor beneath him. She looked up at Kendall with sad eyes, as a silent understanding was made.

"You don't have to miss me right now," Stella spoke softly.

_**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**_As the two lovers resumed their kiss, Kendall gently took his hand and snaked it to her sweatpants, quickly undoing them, their lips still moving, tongues still dancing. Stella kissed Kendall with all the passion she had left in her body, her hands going to the nape of his neck, massaging it to his liking.

Kendall was the only person Stella felt truly comfortable with. She had trouble letting him in at first, and while still keeping her heart closed, her secrets hidden, she had opened up to him a bit more. She wanted him to know about her, she wanted to cry in his arms as she lived this runaway life. She wanted him to know her—but she couldn't bring herself to surrender to love all the way.

Not yet.

_**And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
**__**When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive**_

Kendall quickly undid Stella's sweatpants, pushing them down to her ankles, as she moved her hands to his jeans, undoing them quickly. She pulled them down to his ankles, leaning in for another sweet kiss as he stepped out of them, kicking off his shoes as well. Both lovers stood in the center of Stella's room, hands lingering over each other's bodies.

Kendall quickly ran his hands under Stella's sweater, taking it off slowly, revealing her bare, braless chest. Kendall did all he could to fully trace Stella's beautiful form, from shoulders, to back side, breasts and hips with his fingers, hoping it would bring him some comfort when he left. Stella's hands rested on Kendall's broad shoulders as he gently leaned down a bit and hoisted her up, grabbing her bare thighs. Placing chaste kisses to her breast bone, he swiftly carried her to her makeshift bed and settled her down gently, resting on his forearms, just a bit raised above her.

Stella grabbed at his white t-shirt, pulling it up and over his broad frame, tossing it to the floor beside them, their eyes locked, breathing soft and slow. Kendall, clad in just boxers, slowly kissed Stella's lips rhythmically, his hand snaking up to her bare breast, kneading the soft, white skin gently enough to evoke a small, beautiful moan from Stella's lips. Stella's soft hands reached down to the waist line of his boxers, and swiftly tugged them down, Kendall kicking them the rest of the way as both lovers were totally exposed.

The two lovers looked into each other's eyes, staring into their souls. They knew it would be their last time.

Kendall was usually able to control himself a bit when with Stella, but now all hope was lost. It would be their last time together until, God knows how long. His lips immediately went to her pulse point, where he bit down hard with his teeth, nipping at the skin as Stella breathed heavily, sweet melodious moans eliciting from her throat. She moved her hand down to Kendall's lower back, pushing his now evident erection between her bare thighs, writhing her lower half furiously, much to his delight, as a soft groan came out of his mouth, causing vibrations throughout her entire body as she bucked her hips against his length.

Stella's breathing hitched as Kendall nuzzled his face into her neck, one hand melding his body into hers, the other moving through his now sweaty hair. Stella's legs went around his, as she grinded her warm, wet body into his, her hand moving from his lower back to between his shoulder blades, which moved slightly with the rhythmic nipping of his teeth. Kendall bit down hard on Stella's skin, losing all control, as she let out a long, pleasure filled sigh that was music to his ears. Kendall then pulled away from her, looking at the red abrasion he had made on her neck, and could see a small drop of blood, signaling where he had lost control. He took no hesitation in leaning down, and softly kissing the red, irritated, slightly bleeding flesh of Stella's neck, and placed soft kisses on it as her hands still traveled up and down his bare, lightly freckled back.

No words were spoken.

_**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**_

Stella pulled on his shaggy hair gently, massaging her soft fingers into his scalp as he licked, sucked, and nipped up her jaw line to where her lips were. Their lips connected gently, Kendall taking all the care and passion he had to run his tongue along every warm crevice and imperfection in Stella's mouth. She could feel how incredibly hard Kendall was, as she bent her leg up, brushing against his length, making him near fall out of his skin. She swallowed his moan naturally as her hand gently grazed his length, one long stroke from his base to his head making the boy growl huskily with pleasure in her ear, his breathing heavy. He leaned back down to her lips, kissing them gently, wrapping his fingers up in Stella's long blonde hair, holding it tightly like he never wanted to let go as Stella again laced her fingers through Kendall's own shaggy hair, holding tightly.

Stella stared into Kendall's anxious eyes. They both knew this would be the last time. They both knew that once they started making love, they wouldn't be able to stop. She knew Kendall would never take the initiative to start, even though he wanted to, fearing the end of their tryst. Once they started, the end would come inevitably come closer. But she couldn't be afraid, and neither could he. There was nothing to be afraid of with each other. They couldn't be afraid. Not of love.

Stella swallowed hard, her fingers tight in his shaggy blonde hair, as she brought his head down to her lips, kissing him, raising her slim body up to his. Kendall growled lowly, fighting temptation and couldn't resist the appeal of Stella's warm, wet body, which just seemed to call out for him. He couldn't be afraid right now. He kissed Stella's lips gently as he easily bucked his hips forward, and slid into her body, both of them sighing deeply at the immediate pleasure each other experienced, each of them not fully understanding that it only felt like this because they were with each other. Kendall kissed Stella's forehead gently, as she wrapped her arms around him, her legs already entwined tightly in his. Kendall didn't dare move, as the feeling of Stella's tight inner body closing in on him made his mind melt, and made reality go away. Her blunt nails traced the contours of his back as they just stared into each other's eyes, the feeling of him being inside her enough for both of that at the moment. They knew this would be the last time.

Kendall pushed back Stella's beautiful blonde locks and smiled at her gently. As he studied her face, he couldn't truly believe that he was leaving. While he knew Stella for barely a week, the emotional and physical attachment he felt towards her was one he had never experienced before, and he knew he wouldn't experience again.

Kendall was beginning to get a bit antsy as he lay inside of Stella, but he wouldn't move. Her eyes had captured him. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this to be the last time. What if this was the last time ever? Kendall thought of how emotionally invested he was in Stella. She had truly changed his life this week. Thoughts clouded Kendall's mind as Stella raised her hips up slowly, impatient and scared, a sensory overload going through his body, as he let out a low growl, not being able to resist the warm, slick feeling she radiated. Kendall lowered his lips back to Stella's kissing her gently, as he slowly exited her body, before slowly sliding back in again, trying his best not to be rough with her. He didn't want this to come quickly.

_**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
**_  
Kendall gently kissed her lips, as if it was almost painful for him. Their lips gently brushed against each other as Stella gasped and arched her back slowly off the bed as he entered her again. She let out a soft groan as Kendall pushed her leg up even more, his hand tight on the warm skin of her inner thigh, burying himself deeper into her. Stella laced her fingers in Kendall's hair tightly, taking in his entire length, as he looked deep into her eyes, his hips movingly slowly against hers.

Kendall leaned down to her lips, kissing them softly, his tongue gently and delicately surveying her mouth, getting every last taste of her he could. Stella gripped him closer to her body, and bit her bottom lip, tears starting to well up in her eyes as he moved in and out of her. She had made it so far without crying, just trying his best to enjoy the moment they were experiencing. How was this the last time she was ever going to be able to do this? Kendall Knight actually cared about her, loved her, and it was surreal.

Now she would go back to being broken, beyond her wildest dreams.

"_Kendall_," Stella whispered out heartbroken, her voice strained as he gently slid back inside of her, her body near trembling from the sensation. Her fingers touched his broad shoulders, her blunt nails scratching his back, his hands in her hair.

"Yeah, babe?" he asked softly, stopping his movements, his voice weak, the first words spoken since they had started. Stella needed to say this one thing. She was usually full of dialogue when they had sex, full of witty remarks and flirtatious suggestions. Not this time. She remained silent.

"I love you."

Kendall looked down at her glassy eyes, and his heart dropped down into the depths of his stomach. To see how much Stella cared like he had known from the start, the connection fully instated between them made him shiver a bit inside. And now, it was going to be tested. He leaned on his left forearm, his hand going to her face, touching it gently, his fingers running through her blonde hair.

"I love you too," he whispered smiling gently, which caused Stella's face to light up tenfold. Kendall caught her lips with his in a slow, rhythmic lip lock, casting them down to her neck where he planted soft, light, succulent kisses. Stella massaged the nape of his neck with her soft fingers as Kendall cupped her bare breast gently, his other hand moving down to her thigh, resuming sliding in and out of her, making sure to neglect no part of her body both letting out small, soft, tightlipped moans of absolute ecstasy.

The nape of Kendall's neck collected sweet sweat, between the humidity from Stella's body, and the warmness of the space heater just a few feet from them. Stella enjoyed touching the back of his damp hair, the way the sweat collected on his bruised cheekbones, and made his entire body glisten, his green eyes shine. His eyes went wide and fearful as he felt the oh so familiar feeling of release pent up in his lower stomach. This was it.

Stella's tight inner body clenched around his length more and more with each thrust, as he groped at her thighs, trying his hardest to prolong himself. He had to. This couldn't be over yet.

Stella arched her back off the mattress a bit more with a deep sigh, Kendall nervously thrusting into her, not wanting to deny her pleasure, but not knowing when it was all going to end. He thrust into her a bit rougher as Stella scratched his back gently, holding his body to hers as she let out a soft groan. She was getting close, and Kendall knew it as his heart beat faster against his chest.

She looked into Kendall's scared green eyes, and nodded helplessly, signaling him to continue, knowing he couldn't deny her anything. Kendall forcibly and slowly slid into her one last time, as Stella closed her wet eyes, her lower half receiving the most intense rush of pleasure she had ever felt in her life, her hips bucking up and rubbing against his as she came, her eyes welling up with tears that surely cascaded down her face, a strangled moan coming from her throat.

Kendall, with one final, ominous thrust, came forcefully, the intense pleasure sky rocketing up his spine, as tears came to his closed eyes, his breathing heavy, as he felt Stella calm down underneath him. He let out a silent moan, riding the rest of his orgasm out upsettingly, each stroke putting more and more weight on his heart. He then slowly collapsed on Stella's bare chest, her hands at his back, moving up to his neck. His chin lay just above her left breast, her chin leaning on his head, both breathing heavily, Stella crying silently. Silence.

"Kendall Knight, what am I going to do without you?" Stella spoke softly, her voice cracking with each word, as she broke down in sobs. Kendall didn't lift his head as she nuzzled into his damp hair, his own salty tears falling from his eyes. The love of his life was about to be ripped from him, and who knows what could happen to Stella. No one was there to protect her, or give her warm meals, or to call her out when she was being stubborn.

Their lives would return to normal.

Kendall breathed heavily, his face still cast down as Stella cried helplessly into his hair. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, it hurt too much. Kendall took a deep breath and swallowed hard as Stella kissed his blonde hair gently, her hands at his bruised cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to look at the hurt in her eyes, to know he had some doing in it. He never wanted to leave where he was right now, nestled into Stella's warm, humid, nude body, his own form rising and falling with each exhausted, pleasure filled breath she took. Kendall finally looked up into those blue-gray eyes, his heart dropping as he pulled himself up, his muscles wickedly fatigued as he hovered over Stella, leaning down to kiss the soft, warm salty tears on her face, his bangs matted to his sweaty forehead. His breathing was still irregular, as he swallowed hard, taking in the view of Stella beneath him.

"You're strong, Stella," he whispered out, his hand pushing her blonde hair from her freckly face. Kendall leaned down and kissed her pink lips gently, his face sagging at the corners.

"And we'll be together again before you know it."

* * *

Kendall, Katie and Kim stood bundled up in front of their mini-van, everything packed up, ready to take off back to Duluth, as Jenny, Dave, Bryan and Serena bid their goodbyes. Kim hugged Jenny tightly, thanking her for the warm and caring hospitality, as Serena and Katie made plans when to text on Katie's new cell phone. Dave rested his hand on his wife's shoulder with a wide smile, telling Kim anytime she wanted to come back, the whole family was welcome.

"We'll hang out again, dude. Tell your mom you wanna come up here and play hockey, even if it is just to get laid," Bryan said jokingly to Kendall, as Kendall chuckled a bit, trying to undermine him and Stella's relationship. Ah Bryan Tregger, you will _never _understand. Bryan hugged Kendall tightly and chuckled, patting his back as the two teens separated.

"Or just to kick the shit out of Alex again," Kendall chuckled with a smile. Bryan nodded with a smirk as the family said the rest of their good-byes to each of the Knight children, and they were ready to go.

"Ready?" Kim asked her children, as she went around to the other side of the car with Katie. Kim opened the door, as well as Katie, and both gently went into the car, as the towheaded Tregger's grouped together in a perfect family photo op. Kendall touched the handle of the mini-van and went to open it while freezing. He turned his head to be the big, art deco, house next to the Tregger's and tried his best to look through the large glass window. He squinted hard, and could barely see the outline of a beautiful, blonde, angel at the window, her hands palming the glass, wearing a blue cardigan that was much too big for her tiny frame.

Kendall smiled to himself, taking a long, deep breath and opened the door, getting into the car, and shutting it behind him, as the Knight's began their descent back home.


	9. It's Back

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I do because it introduces our three boys! :D ****read**** and ****review****! :) ****While this chapter is mainly James' centric, the next chapter will be Carlos/Logan centric. You will see what I mean as you read, but I hope you like the boys witty and hilarious antics and interactions. I enjoyed writing them a lot :)**

**This chapter is also a bit angsty so…beware :)**

**And yay for 11,000+ words. I can't promise a chapter like this EVERYTIME but I just have so much stuff to put in one :D I hope you enjoy and that you read and review :D!**

**And make sure to check out the absolutely amazing, astounding waterwicca's,** _Past The Sorrow, _**tawniee's **_Coffee Break, _**and christinainwonderlands **_Ampersand_**and **

**And check out my other story Bittersweet :) thanks for all the WONDERFUL reviews I have gotten, which I love immensely and try to reply to all of them. They're amazing. Thanks so much for reading this, I'm glad you like it!**

**And now on with the story….**

* * *

_Chapter Nine: It's Back_

"So, I'll be there for your first session, but after that, it's recommended that you go yourself, alright?"

"Yeah."

Kendall and Kim sat at their small, white, round kitchen table, talking over scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. It was early in the morning, before the sun had even peeked up out of the sky to illuminate the freshly fallen snow in Duluth, and Kendall had been melancholy since the moment he saw the Tregger's big, beautiful, luxurious house fade from him in the rearview window, along with the small view of Stella through a large, plate glass window. Kim had come downstairs to see Kendall lazily lying on the living room couch, flipping aimlessly through their three hundred and some odd channels at five in the morning. Knowing he was still a bit on edge from this whole "therapy" idea, or at least that was what she thought, so she had decided to make the two of them a quiet breakfast, Katie still upstairs sleeping soundly.

Kendall hadn't gotten much sleep that night, horribly wondering how Stella was doing in her big, barely heated, empty house alone, looking up at the stars. Kendall had tossed and turned the entire night, wishing for Stella's warm body to be next to his, due to the cool chill of his bland, blue, room. He wanted to whisper sweet nothings into her beautiful blonde hair. His blue sheets had engulfed him in a drowning sea of loneliness. The fact that when he opened his green eyes, Stella was not there, nearly killed him inside, his heart beating faster and his breaths hitching, as if he had to frantically search for her, before it was too late; before something happened to her.

He was so mentally, and physically exhausted, he hadn't even had time or energy to contact Carlos, James or Logan since he had stepped into the house near two o'clock the previous day, something that normally would've been his **first** priority. The boys would be quite surprised when they had learned that Kendall had come back from Thief River Falls a day early.

Upon returning home, Kendall had dragged his suitcases upstairs to his cold, uninviting room, changed into something a bit more comfortable, and sprawled out in his bed, under the covers, hiding from the rest of the world. While Kendall wasn't overly depressed about leaving her, he couldn't help but feel like he was abandoning Stella, three hours away. He was a bit angry with himself. He had been there for her the entire week, and he had witnessed the immense change in the girl, where she had pushed him away at the start, but was making love to him by the end.

He missed her quite terribly.

His best friends knew nothing of the situation he was going through with Stella. Kendall hadn't really found the need to text them all week like he had planned, and he did feel bad about it, especially since he had told them before he left he would be texting them non-stop over the week, trying to get his mind off the holidays. It was like he was missing for a week, as if he was in some different world. He had gotten texts from Carlos, James and Logan, but if he even had responded, it was just with a "can't talk" or a "be right back". His mother had also warned him that if he did spend the whole vacation texting, that'd he be in trouble, because she wanted him to enjoy himself around other people. She no longer wanted this closed book of a son.

Kendall Knight had left Duluth as cracked boy.

Returning, he was to become a shattered man.

"So, are you going to hang out with the guys today?" Kim asked positively, gently scooping up a helping of eggs onto her silver fork, and softly taking it between her lips. Kendall looked down at his breakfast upset, not even hungry. He didn't want to eat. What he wanted to do was get bundled up in his scarf, jacket and gloves, wrap his breakfast in aluminum foil, grab the keys to his dark blue '98 Chevy, and drive the three hours to Thief River Falls to make sure Stella had something warm to eat for breakfast. **  
**  
Kendall knew the only way he was going to feel better about Stella, was to talk to his friends about the beautiful, blonde who had captured his heart and clouded his mind. He was a bit hesitant to tell them of the true love he shared with her though, because I mean, it had only been a week he had known her and maybe they would find it weird.

Kendall knew that he loved Stella. He felt it in his heart, all the way down to his bones, and through the layers of his soft, white skin. It was love. It **had **to be.

He knew James, Carlos and Logan would be a bit pissed off that he hadn't really made any contact with him since the Knight's had left, but hopefully they would understand. Well, Kendall knew they understand. He chuckled a bit about how the boys probably were lost the past week without the warm hospitality of his house, in which they all seemed to live in during the weekends, and after school. Movie Friday nights, hockey Saturday nights, and random Sunday afternoons at Kendall's was the weekend-ly routine for the four best friends, stemming back since they were just pee-wee hockey players, and used to go to Kendall's after practice for juice boxes and cookies.

He missed his friends quite terribly as well.

"Uh, yeah. Probably shoot some pucks down at the rink or something like that," he said fake happily, trying to cover his miserable mood with a bit of excitement about seeing his friends. While Kim knew her son was struggling tremendously with her husband's death, and that his anger was getting the best of him, she hadn't really brought up the idea of leaving him leaving Kacey in her mind. She had thought the girl was a nice, sweet, beautiful distraction for Kendall while the tough Christmas holidays came up this year. She had never been so wrong.

She hadn't even thought to ask him about the blonde. She figured the flirtation had ended with a few kisses on the cheek, and a few on the lips. She had never thought that her son would be losing his virginity to her over Christmas break.

"Aren't you excited to see them again, sweetheart? You don't sound it," Kim said a bit concerned, setting her fork down, and tearing off a piece of toast with her fingers. She figured he would've been out the door as soon as possible to hang out with the three boys she called her second sons. Kendall sighed and shrugged, twisting his fork in his untouched eggs lazily.

All he could think about was Stella.

"Yeah, I am," said honestly, trying to get rid of his bad mood. Kim looked at her broken son, and sighed deeply, the lower chambers of heart being ripped into pieces whenever she saw that straight, unexpressive smile on his face. It had been a usual visitor around the Knight house the past few months.

"…Is this about therapy? Because I know you may not want to go, but it's gonna help you Kendall, I _promise_," she said concerned, leaning her hand across the table, placing it on top of the loose fist he had formed with his own hand.

Kendall swallowed hard, looking up at his mother's concerned blue eyes. She had no idea the horrible weight he was carrying on his shoulders. Abandoning a girl he truly loved, not being able to protect her, not being able to talk to her, or kiss her. The lack of Stella's presence made Kendall near crazy the past nineteen hours or so, and who knows the next time they were going to talk to each other. And all the while, Kim never even **thought** to ask of the blonde who had partaken in their Christmas dinner days ago.

To tell his mother about Stella, or not to?

Nope.

"I know. Thanks mom, it's just taking a while to get used to the whole idea," Kendall lied through his teeth. Kim smiled sympathetically at her son, and squeezed his fist tightly, letting him know she was there.

"I know. But it's all gonna be okay soon, sweetheart. I promise."

Kendall couldn't help but hope his mother was right.

* * *

"So if radical x plus five, equals x minus fifteen, then x equal_sssss_….?" Logan asked James, in a desperate last attempt for James to finish all the algebra he had to do over their vacation, that he _of course_ had left for last minute.

Logan's pencil eraser bounced off the old text book with each flick of his impatient wrist. He had been trying to help James with his math homework for nearly forty minutes now, and it was already 12:00. This was the last thing that either of them wanted to do, especially after a snow storm like this, when the pond down a few blocks from James would surely be frozen over, allowing them unlimited hockey time.

However, loving Mrs. Lucie Diamond had told procrastinator James he was not to go **anywhere** until his math was done, and seeing as Logan had come over bright and early for hockey, with Carlos tagging along, she felt it the perfect opportunity for James to get the help he so desperately needed.

Mrs. Diamond was a doting mother and housewife, adamant about James' keeping his grades up, and if the pretty boy hadn't needed a certain GPA to play ice hockey, he'd have spent warm Minnesota summers at school doing make-ups, instead of venturing out with Kendall, Carlos and Logan to wherever.

Lucille Moreau had been an energetic, smart, beautiful, young, sophomore French-exchange student at the University of Minnesota in the late 80's. She came from a small town in France, Montrichard, and had been granted with a full scholarship to study theater at the Duluth campus. Jason Diamond was the sophomore starting center on the Bulldog's ice hockey team, averaging 210 points a season, looking at a promising future on the Minnesota Wild, for which offers had already been circulating.

After one of the Bulldog's great victories over Michigan Tech right after Christmas time, Lucille, affectionately Lucie, had stumbled into the victory party with some of her friends, who were eager to introduce her to some of the finer American athletes and faces. Lucie had come upon Jason Diamond in a shady corner of the party, when her friends had all gone their separate ways, and asked him where the bathroom was in the best English she could manage. While nearly bi-lingual, her French accent was so heavy, you could barely understand a word the young woman said.

From the simple answer of "down the hall", it was love. Lucie and Jason became inseparable a short time later. Lucie strived in her acting, while Jason strived in his ice hockey, all the way up until senior year. Lucie was offered a prestigious role on "Joyous", a popular up and coming television show shooting in New York City upon graduation, while Jason was offered a bench seat on the Minnesota Wild. However, a month before their may graduation, Lucie found out she was two months pregnant…with her only son, to be named James. That changed everything.

Lucie and Jason had gotten married instantly after throwing their caps up in the air, and James Kennedy Diamond was born just a few months after. Obviously not acting anytime soon, Lucie declined from all theatrical production after graduating and marrying her college sweetheart. Even after much persuasion from his father to take the offer from the Wild, Jason decided to go against his wishes and take a job at the University as a sports therapist, his original major, staying close to his Minnesota roots and family, while he and Lucie raised their son in the quiet suburbs of Duluth, Minnesota.

"U-uhh…" James stuttered out, looking at the math problems in front of him as if they were gibberish. He swallowed hard and bit his lip nervously, not knowing the answer at all. James wasn't the brightest at math, heck, James barely had the light bulb screwed in when it came to math.

"X _equalsssss_…Seven?" James asked cluelessly, his eyes squinted, his body shifting away from Logan's bracing for the impact of the smart boy's explanation unto why his answer was _dead_ wrong, and how to do it the correct way, which was guaranteed to make James lose his mind in .3 seconds.

"Twenty-five," Logan groaned frustrated, with a sigh, throwing his pencil down, as he began knitting his white fingers in his raven-black hair with an oncoming migraine. Carlos, who sat at the other end of the large, mod, kitchen table in the Diamond's kitchen, looked from James to Logan with an impatient, annoyed, bored face. He tapped his fingers on the glass table and bit his lower lip, making the same face he would make when his mother was on the phone with someone important, and he needed to ask her a question.

"So…when are we…playing…hockey?" Carlos asked in the sweetest, most innocent voice ever. Logan looked up from his personal space, James shooting Carlos a look, as Carlos cocked an eyebrow at his stone faced friends curiously. The James, Logan, Math relationship was just not working out, it never really had.

Carlos **knew** when a relationship wasn't working.

"What?" he asked, scrunching his shoulders and nose, getting a cold glare from each of them. James stared at his messy notebook, with chicken scratch handwriting and placed his pencil down in the crease, shutting it closed and staring at his friends with a smile.

"All done!" he exclaimed excitedly, putting on his best pearly white smile, literally catapulting himself out of his chair so it flew back into the white wall of the Diamonds' kitchen, probably leaving a mark, and shaking the professionally taken portrait of James and his parents hung above him. James stood straight up, like he never had math homework in the first place. Carlos chuckled and Logan looked up at him like he was crazy.

"You're not even close to done, James. You still have two more multiple choice and three free response," Logan said knowingly, motioning to the last five questions the pretty one had ignored. James looked at Logan and let out a chuckle, motioning his hands to the paper his face alit with ignorance.

"Where? I see everything done, don't you Carlos? I did all of them," James squeaked out with a chuckle, motioning back and forth to the text book and his closed notebook like he was on some kinda of acid trip. Carlos looked up at Logan who sighed, his head in his hands, shaking it disapprovingly.

"**Hockey time!**" Carlos shot out of his seat, hands in the air, the chair pushing backwards against the floor, hitting into the counter behind it, sending Mrs. Diamond's glass of lemonade iced tea to the floor in a shatter. All three boys looked at each other with horror, Carlos turning his head slowly behind him, hands still up in the air, his eyes wide at the mess he made.

"Boys, what was that?" Mrs. Diamond asked in her high pitched, still vaguely accented voice, from the den just down the hall from the kitchen. All three boys looked at each other and held back their chuckles, Carlos slowly lowering his arms, Logan biting his lower lip to stifle more laughter, and James standing there with his hands on his hips, trying to make some sort of excuse for the noise.

"Nothing, Ma. Logan threw my text book on the floor because he was getting mad," James hollered. Logan looked at him with a distressed face, knitted eyebrows, and his hands hit the glass table gently in confusion.

"Dude?"

James shrugged as a thunderous vibration was heard in the kitchen.

"APOCALYPSE!" Carlos yelped, immediately ducking down under the glass table for cover, his chair hitting against the counter again, Logan rolling his eyes playfully, as James walked over to where the broken glass lay, around a small pool of brown liquid.

"Relax, Carlitos. It's just my phone," Logan sighed, reaching a bit in front of him for his new iPhone. It had been a gift from his parents due to his 1400 on the PSAT he had taken just a few weeks ago, and studied countlessly for. James bent down to clean up the iced tea with a sigh, picking up the broken glass.

"Who is texting you? We're all here except-"

"KENDALL!" Logan exclaimed excitedly, his eyes eagerly scanning the text message he had received with a small smile.  
**  
**_**From: **__K-Dawg_

_Got back a day early. What are you guys up to?_

"Seriously?" Carlos asked happily, his small, tiny frame still under the table. He popped up from under it, sitting back in his pushed back chair as if nothing had just happened as James threw the glass in a paper towel, throwing it in the wastebasket next to the sink, getting more paper towels to clean up the drink.

"Well, what'd he say?" Carlos asked impatiently, tired of waiting and getting up and coming over to Logan quickly.

"He got back a day early, and wants to know what we are up to," Logan reported, eyebrows knitted, trying his best to type on the touch screen he still wasn't used to, even after three weeks. Carlos came behind Logan, placing on hand on his shoulder, his eyes squinting at the text message.

"Jeez. He's been AWOL the entire week and _now_ he wants to talk and hang out with us?" James said while cleaning the tile with a paper towel, down on his hands and knees. Carlos' gaze turned to him.

"Dude, relax. We all know the holiday was going to be rough for him. It's the first one without his dad," Carlos said defensively, knowing just where Kendall was coming from. James sighed and nodded, coming over to the table where the two boys were. He took his seat and sighed.

"At James'…out to play…hockey in a…bit. Wanna…join?" Carlos read behind the smart boy's shoulder with squinted eyes as Logan slowly typed each word on the technological genius.

"An_ddd_...**send**," Logan stated with emphasis, tapping his iPhone gingerly with a pleased smile. Carlos swallowed hard, still staring at the long, full equation for pi that Logan had set as his phone's background. There was silence between the three boys.

"Do you think he's _alright_?" Carlos asked bluntly, going back to his seat slowly as James and Logan looked at him oddly. Carlos sat down as James cocked his eyebrow confused, his fingers tapping on his math textbook.

"What do you mean?" James asked him. Carlos sat down mellower than he had been in the past year and a half and sighed.

"I don't know, I mean…we **all **saw how Kendall acted right after he died," Carlos said in a serious tone of voice.

All three boys looked at each other with serious, silent eyes. Kendall's behavior immediately following the accident wasn't to be spoken of.

"It must've been really hard for him this Christmas without him. You know how close they were," Carlos whispered sadly, looking down at his fingers. When in doubt, count on Carlos to make everyone at the table feel emotionally drained. Logan and James silently nodded to themselves, as the kitchen went silent, the only thing heard was the buzzing of the light hung above the table.

"Remember the time Mr. Knight took us ice fishing out on Lake Spring when we went camping in Dassel?" James spoke, staring down, a small chuckle passing his lips. Logan laughed as did Carlos.

"Yes, and I caught a huge fish…**but** it was actually Carlos swimming underwater," Logan smiled, shooting a look of childhood remembrance at his friend. Carlos sighed and let out a small chuckle.

"Well, I lost my fishing rod and I _had_ to get it back," Carlos defended himself playfully. Logan nodded, tapping his phone gently on the table and sighing.

"I remember it was the hottest summer Minnesota had seen in twenty-three years," Logan whispered out under his breath, the memories of the good times with Kendall's father all rushing back to him.

"I still can't believe he's gone," James muttered out lowly.

Kristopher Knight had been a father to all four boys. Since the boys lived at Kendall's house anyway, Kris was always there to update the boys on the Wild's record, be a fifth player when they placed ice hockey, sneak up snacks to them when they had sleepovers after Kim had gone to sleep, and in the last few years of his life as the boys grew older, he had always been there to talk, for support, or for cheering up.

That's why when Mr. Knight died; all four boys lost a father.

_It lightly flurried, snow barely sticking to the wet ground, overcast by a gray, distant, ominous sky. Logan, James and Carlos had made their way into the beautiful, snow covered church that Mr. and Mrs. Knight had been married in two decades and a few years ago, with their parents quietly. _

_The boys made their way quietly into the pew, four rows back from the first one, sitting behind most of Mr. and Mrs. Knight's family. Their parents had quietly settled into the row behind them, lightly talking about the untimely death of their sons' best friend's father._

_"I've never been to a funeral before," Carlos whispered out nervously, sitting on the end, his eyes scanning all the mourners, some already lightly drying. His eyes scoped the beautiful woodworking of the church, the beautiful candles that lined the altar, and the stained glass windows that filled the church with any trace of light to be found behind the gloomy clouds._

_"Me either," James said softly, taking off his long, black overcoat he had borrowed from his own father, flipping his hands through his hair._

_"I have. It's rough," Logan said lowly, taking off his winter jacket, and setting it beside him on the pew._

_Carlos arced his head down the aisle, where he could see a bunch of people gathered at the church doors, and very briefly, the oak casket that held one of the greatest men he had ever met. Carlos' eyes stung with tears just thinking about what the next two hours would do to his friends' minds, especially Kendall's._

_After a few moments of the boys' incredibly fearful and tragic thoughts, the organ started to play._

_"Ahhhhhh-maaaaaazinnnng Graaaaaaaaace. How sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet the sounddddddd…"_

_Everyone in black stood up, people letting out small sobs as the procession down the long aisle began. The priest, dressed in white, led the oak casket, on a stretcher-type mechanism down the aisle slowly to the music. It was only a few seconds into the procession, when Carlos, James and Logan's hearts all stopped, as they saw Kendall, clad in a morbid black suit, proceed down the aisle miserably._

_He had transformed from a child of two loving, gracious parents, to the only protector of his mother and sister in the matter of three days. His shaggy blonde hair hung in front of his tired, dull, watery green eyes with each mindless step he took forward, as if he was being forced to do this._

_"Kendall," Carlos whispered out in shock, even though the boy was well down the aisle, not even past them yet._

_Tears formed in the boy's brown eyes, as Kendall walked down the aisle, his eyes directly fixed on his father's casket, his lower lip quivering with pain. One arm was around Mrs. Knight, whose entire face was curled up into a tight ball of extreme and unimaginable sorrow. Tears fell down her face, her body shaking, as Kendall did his best to hold her close, his rubbing up and down her shoulder comfortingly. Small Katie leaned into her big brother's side crying hysterically. All three boys hadn't seen her cry since her diaper days._

_As the procession neared forward, with other relatives of Mr. and Mrs. Knight behind the grieving immediate family, you could clearly see Kendall's distraught face, the confused furrowing in his brow, the constant gaze at the casket in front of him, like somehow staring at it would bring his back to life. He didn't sob, but silently cried, painfully._

_Emotionally distraught._

_Poor Katie was engulfed in a mess of tears, her entire body shaking with each step she tried to take. Kendall's gaze finally broke off his father's coffin, and he turned to his distraught baby sister beside him, and without a second thought, skillfully gently picked her up with a small grunt, as she immediately buried her head into his shoulder, her hands around his neck tightly, Kendall's face tensing up, his heart tearing in two at the tears his beloved sister cried into him. He fastened his grip on her, Mrs. Knight resting a hand on her sons' shoulder and looking up at him, as Kendall kissed Katie's silky brown hair, and whispered into her ear, stroking her hair gently._

_As the procession passed Carlos, James and Logan the boys all looked at Kendall, who did nothing but stare ahead, trying his best to keep Katie calm. He didn't look at his friends as he passed, but if he had, he would've seen three heartbroken, silently crying boys, with their hands tightly grasped in one another, their eyes full of grief and utter sadness._

_Kendall's hand remained around his mom's frame the entire service, rubbing her arm gently as she silently sobbed into him. They knew he was trying his best to be strong. The boys didn't dare talk. But anytime someone went up to say something about Mr. Knight, or a word of remembrance was spoken about him, all three grips would tighten at the same…exact…time._

_It was as if they were one person._

_Then came the cemetery._

_Logan, James and Carlos all stood clad in black suits, with black coats, gloves and shoes, right behind the now incomplete and broken Knight family, snow falling all around them, a bitter, joking chill in the air. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond, and Mrs. Garcia all stood in the row behind their respective sons, a hand from each parent on their son's arm, offering some sort of comfort. James, Carlos and Logan's parents all knew how close the boys were with Mr. Knight, and each parent had loved the man as well. There was something about Kristopher Knight that made everyone love him._

_Their heads bowed down in silence, as Mr. Knight's beautiful, oak casket slowly rest above the ground for its last five minutes in the small light, snow gently flurrying on it, a now thicker white layer covering the ground. About thirty of the families closest relatives and friends gathered with sniffles and silence, the light snow falling down on their black ensembles morbidly._

_Kendall stood next to his mother silently, whose body shook tremendously, one arm holding her tight to him as she rest on his shoulder distraught, as he rubbed up and down her arm. His other arm was around Katie, who sobbed quietly into his jacket, rubbing her small back gently, cuddling her into him the best he could._

_Kendall Knight had the burden of two women sobbing into him, the man he would've usually called to help, was now gone._

_The priest said a few final prayers to close up the short ceremony, as Mrs. Knight and Katie were each handed a red rose. Kim lifted her head from her son's shoulder, his eyes still cast down at the casket, as Katie broke from Kendall's side unwillingly, eyes blood red, bags under them. The poor girl hadn't gotten sleep in days._

_James, Carlos and Logan all stood silently, as they watched Kim and Katie, hands tightly encased in one another as they slowly walked up to the hole in the ground which held Mr. Knight. Katie leaned into her mother and let out a small cry, as Kim bent down a bit, hugging Katie sweetly, and kissing her hair, trying her best to calm her daughter down, so she could have one, last good-bye._

_"Sweetheart, y-you have t-to say good-bye n-now," Kim barely got out, leaning her forehead against her daughters, closing her blue eyes in anguish, as Kendall bit his lip, to stop a sob. Not only was he going to have to say good-bye to his father for good in a minute or so, but he had to watch his mother and sister say good-bye as well, and it tore his heart apart._

_Katie and Kim each threw a rose onto Mr. Knight's casket, each muttering some words that Carlos, James and Logan couldn't hear. As they tearfully retreated back to where Kendall stood, frozen in time. Kim looked at her son, snow collecting on his black coat that had belonged to his father, as she ran her hand through his hair, and stood on her tippy toes to kiss his temple tenderly. Kendall didn't move, and all Carlos, Logan and James could see from behind him was him bow his head even more, as Mrs. Knight whispered something in his ear, and kissed his cheek tenderly._

_Finally, after a few seconds of silence, except the winds that had picked up, along with the snow, Kendall took a few small steps forward, and reached into the pocket of his overcoat. With shaking hands, he took out a guitar pick, Logan, James and Carlos all looking at each other in confusion, not knowing the significance._

_His father had given it to him when he first started playing, when he had first started singing. Kendall swallowed hard, his blonde hair covering his eyes a bit as tears fell down his cold, flushed cheeks. Puffs of air slipped from his lips helplessly, as he felt the guitar pick his father had given him one last time through his thick leather gloves._

_This was the final good-bye._

_Kendall looked up to the sky in anguish, tears coming out of his eyes, staring at the beautiful oak of the casket in front of him. He stared it at for a few seconds, as if it was his last chance for his father to come back to life. After a few seconds of silence, and the realization kicking in, Kendall bit his lower lip, opening his hand, and dropping the pick in the hole with a small clink. He swallowed hard, let out a small cry and took a deep breath._

_"I love you, Daddy."_

___When Kendall turned around in that moment, and finally **truly** faced his best friends for the first time that day, it was worse than they had expected. Whilst Mrs. Knight and Katie had fallen in the arms of Kendall's maternal grandparents, Kendall looked up at his friends with no one to turn to. He was the man of the house now. He had a mother and a sister to protect. James, Carlos and Logan all saw the helpless defeat in the boys beautiful yellow-green eyes.__If there was one thing that Kendall Knight wasn't, it was helpless and defeated._

_The look in his eyes would haunt James, Carlos and Logan for days._

_Kendall turned back around, facing the casket the boys holding back their own sobs and tears as the priest said his final words, and closed his bible with a small sound._

_Goodbyes were over._

_Sobs choked from Kendall's throat heart wrenchingly, his gloved hands began to lace through his messy hair, shoulders began rising and falling violently with each cry louder than the one before it._

_Their best friend needed them._

_Carlos, James and Logan all stepped forward, not being able to be these innocent bystanders anymore. They were Kendall's best friends, and he needed them. James rested a hand on Kendall's shoulder gently, and at the slightest touch, the boy turned around to the brunette, and threw his arms around his torso desperately. Kendall needed someone to cry into after being the rock for the past three tumultuous days._

_Kendall was then caught in large group hug, as he hysterically cried into James' neck, his hands around the tallest boy tightly, gripping at the back of his coat in anguish. Carlos rested his head on Kendall's shaking shoulder, his eyes stricken with tears, as he sobbed along, Logan's arms around Kendall's torso, his head rested on Kendall's other shoulder, tears streaming down his face, as the four boys cried together, mourning the loss of a man close to all of them._

_"I-I miss h-him so m-m-much," Kendall sobbed into James' ear, loud enough for all four boys to hear, his voice barely audible as he clutched the fabric of James' coat in anger, squeezing his eyes shut._

_"I know, buddy, I-I know," James barely cracked out, tears cascading from his eyes, as Carlos hugged Kendall tightly, Logan silent._

_"W-what am I gonna do w-without him-m?" he cried muffled into James' jacket, Logan's hand on his best friends back, rubbing it soothingly as other mourners looked on, the sight of the four boys breaking nearly every heart standing around the grave._

_"You have us, Kendall. We're not going anywhere," Carlos muttered out softly between short cries._

_"We promise," Logan whispered out through tears._

_As the mourners left one by one, the snow getting heavier, finding its place on the backs, skin, and hair of the four brothers engrossed in one another, James, Carlos, Logan and Kendall did not dare part from each other's embrace._

It was a day the four of them would never forget.

The four boys' obvious thoughts were interrupted by another thunderous vibration. Logan snatched his iPhone up quickly snapping out his trance, and brought up the new text from Kendall.

_**From: **__K-Dawg_

_Sure. Pond on Hennery? What time you boys thinkin?_

"What-uh, what time?" Logan asked his friends, his voice weak, clearing his throat. They all knew they had been thinking of the funeral and the horrible aftermath of Mr. Knight's death. James sighed deeply, as Lucie walked into the room with a concerned face, nearing her son's chair.

"What's wrong,_ brune_?" Lucie asked James, her soft facial features dropping upon seeing the obviously twisted look on her son's face. James smiled up at his mother, who had always used the affectionate French name for Brunette, for him since coming out of the womb. Both his parents had been astounded by the dark, brown hair that had covered their little boy's head since day one.

"Nothing, ma. Just finishing up my math, that's all," James said with a smile, as Lucie leaned down and kissed his shiny brown hair and smiled. James looked at Logan as his mother went to the counter, probably looking for the lemonade iced tea she had poured herself.

"Tell him a half an hour," James said, gathering up his unfinished math homework, as Carlos got up from the table. Logan began to text Kendall back, as Lucie looked around the kitchen curiously, her dark eyebrows furrowed, her plump red lips pursed in confusion.

"James, where is my lemonade iced tea?" she asked her son with a knowing glance. James looked at Carlos, Logan looked up from his phone and all three boys exchanged a smile.

"Make that fifteen minutes."

* * *

Logan, James and Carlos trudged through the fresh snow and icy sidewalks to the unofficial pond on Hennery Street. They had learned most of their hockey skills throughout their lives on the small pond, rather than the actual rink a few miles out of town which required a car to get there. It had been a big pain in their younger years to get there when it wasn't cold enough to play on the nearby pond, but as the boys grew older and began to drive, it wasn't so bad. But now in the dead of winter, the pond was seasonally perfect for ice hockey.

"Do you think something happened to Kendall over vacation, and _that's_ why he didn't talk to us?" Carlos asked curiously, trudging behind Logan and James, skates around his neck, hitting against his chest, using the end of his stick as a cane of some sort.

Logan sighed. "I don't know, man. I mean, yeah its weird that Kendall didn't really respond and all, but maybe he was just busy. Mama Knight did say that her friend had a son around Kendall's age, maybe they hung out the whole week," Logan said, trying to maneuver his feet around the icy sidewalk. They could see the pond just across the street, with a tall, teenage boy skating around it. Yup. Definitely Kendall.

"You mean like…_replaced_ us?" Carlos asked confused and worrisome. Logan sighed deeply and James chuckled, running his hand that didn't grip his hockey stick through his hair, making sure it was perfectly coifed to his liking.

James of course had to have his hair in perfect order anytime he even stepped out of the house, or never the less the shower. His three best friends had barely ever seen him "unglamorous" except maybe at sleepovers, and the one or two times James' had drank too much at a party and been horridly hung over the next day.

"No way. He would never replace us," Logan said matter-of-factly, knowing that each of the four of them were definitely irreplaceable in their own days. Kendall was the brave, courageous leader, Logan the logical, intelligent brains, Carlos the crazy, unpredictable one and James the driven, gorgeous one.

"I bet he met some girl up there and spent the week with her, and **that's**why he didn't talk to us as much," James said defiantly with a smirk, as Logan scoffed ridiculously, wondering exactly just went on in his friends head half the time.

"Not _everything_ is about girls, James," Logan chuckled out, stopping the boys at the end of the sidewalk corner, looking down both icy and deserted roads for cars. After getting the clear, they continued, crossing the street.

"Well, everything **good** is about girls, come on Logie, you know that," James joked nudging his friend with his duffle, his boots rough against the asphalt of the pavement. "I think it's a girl."

"Well _I _think that Kendall was having a rough holiday, and spent it with Mama Knight and Katie, and didn't really want to talk to anyone that much," Logan stated proudly, as the boys neared the pond closer and closer, their boots stepping on the fresh snow leaving imprints.

"We'll find out soon enough," Carlos muttered under his breath as Kendall halted on his skates, the boys coming closer to him, able to see him better now.

"Hey jerks," Kendall said with a small, sly smile, as each boy's face dropped looking at their friend.

Kendall still had dark bruises on his cheeks from his fight with Alex, his lip was still a bit swollen, and he had a nice cut slicing through his eyebrow, surrounded by irritation, while _also_ still having a trace of the little love bites Stella had given him, some of them fresh from the last time they had made love two days ago.

"What the **hell** happened to you?" Logan asked nervously, approaching Kendall and touching his face gently. Kendall swatted Logan's hands away with a chuckle and rolled his eyes. James eyes lit up at Kendall's hockey stick, noticing it was new.

"Dude, is that the Bauer Vapor Senior hockey stick?" James asked jealously. Kendall nodded as James eyed the stick nodding in approval at Mama Knight's Christmas gift.

"Long story, I'll tell you over the game. Let's play," Kendall said enthusiastically, skating around the four boys on one skate, anxious to tell them all about his exciting week. "Did you bring a puck?"

Logan, Carlos and James all looked each other in confusion, and then all back at Kendall in awe. Here, their best friend, after a week not talking to them, returned with a happy smile, a bruised face and a new, expensive hockey stick. Not that the last one really mattered, but the boys all looked Kendall with a suspicious, dumbfounded look.

"How about we skip the game a-" Logan started off.

"And you can tell us what the **fuck** happened to your face, man!" James blurted out incredulously.

"And why you basically disappeared for a week," Carlos added in worrisome.

Kendall chuckled as Logan hit James and rolled his eyes, Carlos behind the two boys, wondering just where Kendall had gotten the facial injuries from. Logan closed his eyes in frustration and cocked his head to the side.

He **did** want to tell them about Stella. He needed someone to talk to right now. He wished he could've talked to his dad about this, knowing he'd know all the right things to say. He wanted to tell them absolutely everything. That Stella was a runaway, that he was in love, that he wasn't a virgin anymore, that his mother was making him start therapy. He knew his friends would be there for him no matter what, and he felt that if they were behind him, that maybe he could get through his head he wasn't abandoning Stella, and that it was truly meant to be.

"I know, I have a lot to tell you. I'm sorry, guys. Just…one hell of a week," Kendall said chuckling, his new hockey stick in his hand tightly twisting on the ice beneath him.

"Did you replace us with new friends?

"Did you meet a girl?"

"Was it a hard Christmas?"

All three boys shot out questions at basically the same time, and turning to look at each other nervously. Kendall licked his lips and looked down at his skates, intensity burning in his chest. He couldn't be real with anyone in Thief River Falls but Stella. He had to lie to his mother about where he was going, about Stella's real name, about the intensity of their relationship. But no more. No more lies.

"Guys…" he said looking at them with a smirk. "I fell in love," Kendall smiled with a chuckle, anxiously awaiting their reactions. James' eyes lit up and he pointed at Kendall knowingly, Carlos and Logan still sorting their own feelings out by themselves.

"Ha**ha! **I **knew** it was a girl!" James laughed victoriously. His face went straight for a moment and he arched an eyebrow at Kendall with a smirk on his face. "How hot _is_ she?"

Kendall rolled his eyes and chuckled at his friends as Carlos and Logan still tried to grasp what Kendall had said, not really fully understanding it.

"No, I don't mean fall in love as in…"that girl is so hot, it's love". I mean…I-I really fell in love," Kendall stumbled out, a bit embarrassed, his cheeks flushed a bit.

His heart beat fast as he began to let out all the skeletons in his closet. James looked at Kendall with the same, disapproving face Logan did, Carlos with an upset face on. Kendall's heart dropped a bit when he saw his friends faces. He'd thought they would ask him all types of questions, and badger him about the girl that captured his heart, but so far, nothing yet. It was just silence.

"_Love?"_ Carlos asked, with a raised eyebrow and small, squinted eyes, as if he had no idea what the word even meant.

Kendall nodded with a genuine smile, the first real one he had cracked since leaving Stella yesterday. He was in love, something none of his friends had really encountered, and he couldn't wait to tell them all about the amazing girl who had captured his heart, and their beautiful relationship which had blossomed in such a short amount of time. He couldn't wait to get it all off his chest.

He didn't realize how incredibly excited he actually was to tell Carlos, James and Logan about everything until they stood in front of him, very curious.

"_Love_," Kendall repeated with a small smile, his heart fluttering, his body getting warm at the mentioning of the word. James looked at Kendall for a few seconds, with a first surprised, questioning and then wide eyed look, clapping his hands together, pointing at him with a sly, smile.

"**Dude!** You lost your virginity, didn't you!" he asked him raucously, as if he had guessed the $100,000 question. The thought made Logan perk his head to the side with wide eyes, and a furrowed brow. Kendall's eyes went wide and he looked at his best friends, Carlos totally lost, but still eager to know the questions answer.

"Well, I-I don't-I-u-uh…," Kendall stumbled out nervously, swallowing hard. His insides radiated with the remembrance of Stella's warm, soft skin, her long legs, and thin waist, his smile peeking out from his face.

"Yeah," he chuckled out, scratching the back of his neck a bit nervously. Logan looked at Kendall with squinted, surprised eyes, Carlos let out an entertained chuckle, and James came to Kendall's side and patted him on the back with a radiant, proud smile on his face, still standing on the white snow.

"Welcome to the club, Kendall my man, where the anthem is no longer "Ridin' Solo"," James laughed out, as Kendall looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, rolling his eyes. Of course James would say something incredibly stupid like that, totally insensitive to the other boys. Carlos perked up a bit at the revelation, not disapprovingly.

"You really…aren't a virgin anymore?" he asked confused, a bit surprised. Kendall bit his lip and nodded his head no with a small chuckle, as Logan gave him the same, unwavering disapproving look he had started with. Now it was split right down the middle. Virgin Mary Carlos and Logan vs. sex gods Kendall and James.

"You had sex with a girl…you met on _vacation_?" Logan asked him cynically, his voice patronizingly geared. Kendall looked at Logan a bit perturbed by his comment, James' arm still around his shoulders hugging him tightly.

The way Logan spoke was like he was ashamed of Kendall. He equated it to how his mother would sound if he had told her about it, which he would never do. Of course that tone would come along with some light tears, and Mrs. Knight crying about how Kendall wasn't her little boy anymore, but still. It was that authorative, condescending; 'I know better than you' tone Kendall absolutely hated coming from _anyone_…anyone who wasn't his father.

"Well, I told you Logie, I love her. I fell in love with this amazing, **perfect** girl," Kendall spoke softly, as if he was in some mediocre teenage girl movie about first kisses. Logan chuckled a bit arrogantly at Kendall and shook his head.

"Kendall, you can't fall in love in a week. It's not logical. It's impossible, even if you did meet her the second you walked onto the property," said Logan as if it was some sort of math problem. Kendall looked at him a bit confused, his heart beating faster, his blood boiling a bit.

"But I-"

"Oh, it's not real love Logie," James so grandly interrupted. "I mean come on, look at this face," James said, taking Kendall's chin in his hand with smirk. "This is the face of a **man**. Of **course** he thinks he's in love! It's the only way to get a girl into bed. The magic 'L' word is the key to boot-ay, not that you two dorks would know," James said jokingly. Kendall hit James' arms off of him a little angry as Carlos remained quiet about the situation.

"I didn't tell her I loved her just to **get** some. I seriously love her," Kendall exclaimed adamantly, his heart beating even faster, his anger rising, eyebrows furrowing beneath his beanie.

"I just don't see how you could fall in love with a girl when you barely know her, Kendall. And then to have sex with her?" Logan asked, a little disgusted by the idea of it. Kendall and Logan had always shared the same concern for James, how he never really understood what love was, and how sometimes, he had bouts of loneliness that sent him spiraling into random, short lives bouts of depression. And now, Logan felt as if Kendall was going to go through the same thing with this "love" he had with this random, mystery girl.

"Oh Logie, you don't need to be in love to have sex. Sex is—sex. That's all there is to it, I'm sure _Kendall_ understands," James said proudly patting him on the back once more. Kendall's fists were balled up at his sides, his heart pumping rapidly. He closed his eyes and felt the cold ice beneath him. It felt like he was in Thief River Falls, when he had attacked Alex on the ice. He was getting very angry, very fast. How could his friends act like this?

All three boys didn't believe him for a word he said, all with different faces, all judging him silently.

Kendall looked at his friends with a definitive eyebrow, his breathing heavy.

"So you guys…just don't believe me?" Kendall asked with an attitude, raised eyebrow and extended lower lip. The three boys' faces all registered a bit scared at Kendall's expression, Carlos, stepping back on the soft snow, sensing it in the blonde's eyes.

He saw it. But he was the only one.

Logan and James looked at each other and sighed, Logan looking at Kendall straight in the eyes, a bit nervous, but strong willed.

"Well, it's just a little…odd that you come back from back from vacation, and you're in love, and having sex with this girl you met like…what, five days ago?" Logan spoke, an always right, patronizing tone underlying in his words. Kendall licked his teeth in anger and took a deep breath, skating back a bit on the ice, as all three boys still stood on the snow with their boots.

"She's not just _some girl, _Logan. She's beautiful, she's perfect," Kendall said, his words laced with the tiniest bit of venom. Kendall had to hold himself back. Logan was just being Logan. Carlos remained quiet as James just didn't seem to take Kendall seriously at all, not taking a hint.

"So is Megan Fox, and while I'd love to fuck her, I'm not in love with her," James interjected with a heinous laugh, on that seemed to flip the start button into the full upright position on Kendall's anger. Kendall knew James was just talking out of fun, teasing him, but Kendall was really starting to get annoyed with James, and Carlos and Logan as well. They didn't even _know_ Stella, and now they were comparing her to some disgusting, whore of a female celebrity and telling him that he wasn't in love.

"Stella **isn't **like that," Kendall started off with a clenched jaw, but was cut off with another laugh from James. Kendall averted his eyes to Carlos who shot the pretty boy a dirty look, and Logan who had taken Carlos' approach and just remained quiet. The second Kendall's jaw had clenched, his eyes widened, while James' dug himself deeper and deeper into a hole.

He saw it.

"_Stella_? Seriously?" he chuckled. "Kendall, are you dating a stripper?" James asked with a serious, but playful face. Kendall swallowed hard, his eyes wide, as Logan and Carlos watched him, their own eyes widening. Kendall cocked his head to the side a bit, as James looked at him with nervous hazel eyes.

"Don't ever **fucking** talk about her like that again, James," he yelled at his best friend. "I beat the _shit_ out of the last guy who did," Kendall said gruffly, his voice poisonous, as he skated a bit closer to where James was on the edge of the pond. A light went off the boys' head, as they looked at Kendall's injuries. He had gotten into some type of brawl with someone over this Stella girl.

Kendall's eyes were alit with a red fire, making his green eyes seem yellow, his fists balled up at his sides, knuckles white, his arms clamped to his sides, as if he was doing everything possible not to take a swing at his best friend's beautiful face.

James didn't understand. He had lived a lifestyle of sleeping with beautiful, gorgeous girls and never even noticing them again in the hallways of the school, not that most of them even cared. While only a sophomore, James' stood as a 5'11, sixteen year old hunk, a starter on the Duluth High hockey team, and had a reputation of a ladies' man, he so cleverly hid from his regimented, mistake making parents.

James had slept with a few of the sluttier girls in the boys' sophomore class, and a few of the junior girls. It wasn't like James was stupid, he was always safe, but somehow he seemed to get more tail than any of the seniors combined, and while slightly jealous, they did praise him for it. It was probably due to his usually cocky attitude, his beautiful, shiny brown hair, deep hazel eyes and killer body. He was Mr. Perfect, and it seemed all the girls wanted at least one shot with **THE** James Diamond, even if he was a sophomore.

James never had a real, meaningful girlfriend before, only sexual conquests at parties and when his parents went away for weekends, so while being the most sexually active sophomore Duluth had ever seen, deep down inside, James had his bouts of loneliness, and Kendall couldn't expect him to understand about him and Stella at all. The boy had no concept of love and meaningful relationship whatsoever, and all four knew it and were a bit concerned at times, even if James' hadn't caught on yet.

Logan stepped up to play peacemaker and nervously chuckled, as James' backed away a bit from the blonde.

"Kendall, relax, there is no need to threaten him, it's James," Logan said lightly, trying to smooth things over. But Kendall looked in the smart boy's eyes, staring daggers. Logan knew that look instantly. His heart sunk to the bottom of his chest, his body tensed up. Kendall was unpredictable at this stage.

"Shut up, Logan. **You** don't believe me either," Kendall barked at him, pointing in his face aggressively, Kendall's face getting hot, as Carlos backed up a bit more, not even wanting to be a part of the conversation. Logan swallowed hard, Kendall's chest expanding rapidly, his finger shaking in the smart boy's face. James looked into Kendall's eyes, watching his chest rise and fall, his breaths hitching

He saw it.

"Just…_calm_ down buddy, I was just kidding," James' said a bit afraid, holding his hands out in front of him, as Kendall took a sharp turn on his skates towards him, his breathing heavy, his face red.

"I thought at least my best friends would understand, but I guess I was **wrong** again," Kendall mumbled out angrily through loud breaths, taking his finger from Logan's face and sighing deeply, his angry face now a bit more calm. Kendall shook his head upset, his breathing heavy, as he bit his lower lip, unsure of how to react to his friends now.

They didn't want to know about Stella. They didn't believe him.

Kendall's friends were the one thing the boy could count on. But not anymore.

"I'm leaving," Kendall said softly, his voice seeming to disintegrate with each syllable, as he turned on his skates, and avidly skated over to his hockey bag on the other side of the pond. The three boys watched him confused, all looking at each other with wide eyes.

Carlos stepped forward a bit, biting his lip, James' looking at Logan and Logan looking at Kendall on the side of the pond in the distance, taking off his skates quickly. The three boys then all looked at each other with stale, concerned, solemn faces, a common nuisance hanging above their heads as thick as the snow clouds in Minnesota.

"It's back," Carlos spoke softly.

* * *

_Dear Stella, _

_I'm sitting here in my room, on my bed looking out the window at the stars, and missing you a lot, especially with all your witty comments. I would love to make this some romantic, amazing, love letter, but I don't think I can, because while I can write songs for you, letters are a completely different story and I'm not too great at English. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my dad, and this whole therapy thing my mom wants me to do, and it's just really been getting to me, especially since you're not here with me, to hold my hand, or look up at the stars with (which are super bright lately). I miss you, and I really can't wait to hear from you to make sure that you are doing alright and that you-_

Knock. Knock.

Kendall looked up from the loose leaf he had been writing on extra neatly, the fifth draft of his letter to Stella, when he looked at his door with a nervous face.

"Kendall, can I come in?" Kim asked softly with a cautious voice. Kendall hurriedly pulled up the sheet that draped over his bed, stashed the loose leaf and the binder he leaned on below it, and put the sheet back down, concealing it well.

"Uh, yeah. Come in," Kendall said loudly, adjusting his gaze to the window that lay flush against his bed.

Kim opened the door to her son's attic room, looking at him as he lay on his bed, looking out the window at the stars depressed. Kim looked around her son's "man cave". He of course had his guitar in the corner, a fifteenth birthday present from his father, a television with some sort of old gaming system Kim had no idea what it was, his hockey gear and duffle chucked in the corner, next to an open, mess of a closet holding mostly plaid shirts and skate shoes and finally, a wood desk, stacked with tons of papers, his schoolbag and a ton of homework he hadn't even touched.

Kim sighed and sat on Kendall's midnight blue comforter, making his bed sag a bit, as he pulled his legs closer to him, allowing more room for his mother to sit. Kim moved up more with a smile, resting her hand on Kendall's lower leg, as the two exchanged looks.

Kim couldn't lie. Sometimes, it hurt to look Kendall in the eyes. The fact that his eyes were the same gorgeous, sage green that made her fall in love with her husband in the first place. He had the same prominent chin, and dark eyebrows. He had Kris' dirty blonde hair, his bone structure, and nose. The only thing Kendall had of hers were his long, lean fingers, and his adorable dimples. She sighed deeply as Kendall looked at her with a small smile. Things had been a bit better between them since their big blow up at the Tregger's.

"How was your day with the boys?" she asked quite happily, hoping it would lead to conversation.

Kendall hadn't told his mom of their fight. As soon as Kendall had announced he was leaving at the pond, after the boys' comments, the three of them just stood there, not even coming after him or trying to talk to him. They just let him leave, no questions asked, which hurt Kendall the most. Not wanting to go straight back home, Kendall went to Bradley Park, just around the corner from the pond, and sat on the snowy swing set for an hour, just thinking about Stella, his friends, and of course his father.

He couldn't believe his friends had acted like that. I mean James was just James, and Logan was just being Logan, Carlos being—well, not usually Carlos, but still. He had been greatly upset by the fact that his three best friends didn't believe him, and basically mocked him for what he had done. I mean sure, he hadn't been in much touch with them over vacation but that didn't mean they were just allowed to make rude comments about a girl they didn't even know, and have the right to tell him whether he was in love or not.

Kendall felt a bit betrayed by his three best friends. And now, there was some sort of depression clogging his mind. If his friends didn't want to hear about Stella, and he couldn't tell anyone else about her, who would be there for him? Who would be able to tell him not to worry about his letters getting lost in the mail, or waiting for a letter back, or that Stella would be safe up there alone? He had no one to ease all his fears, something he had been looking for since the moment he had left her, in his best friends. He figured his three best friends since pee wee hockey days would be the ones to let him believe in love, and let him be happy. But he had no one to go to. Not even a father.

It made Kendall want to cry.

"Kendall?" Kim asked softly, touching his leg affectionately. Kendall looked up and cleared his throat, his eyes heavy with sadness, which Kim caught instantly. Something was wrong. She knew from the moment she had talked to Kendall when he had gotten home that something was off. He had just gone up to his room, without really saying a word to Katie or herself, when they both asked him how the guys' were doing. Even if she wasn't incredibly close with Kendall, she could tell in an instant when his green eyes lost their flickers of yellow.

"Hmm?" Kendall asked his mother, obviously preoccupied by his usual, sad thoughts.

"What's wrong, baby? You seem upset," Kim asked her son, moving closer to him with sad blue eyes. She was trying her best everyday to work with Kendall. It hadn't been easy since Kris had died, and while never really extremely close to her son, she felt that when Kris had died, Kendall and she had moved apart miles on a map, like from Minnesota to California.

"I'm fine," he lied miserably, turning his gaze out to the window.

As his eyes looked over the stars, and he took a deep breath in, closing his eyes, wondering if Stella was on the rooftop deck of the Tregger's, looking at those same stars right now. It was a way they could feel connected, by the one thing Kendall was sure Stella would always keep true to her heart. Her guardians.

"Are you sure?" Kim asked him again, her blue eyes begging her son to just open up, and tell what was bothering him.

While Kendall didn't want to bring up Stella to his mother, or let her know at all what was going on between the two, he wondered if he should bring her up as Kacey. Maybe his mother would feel bad for his sore heart, knowing that he missed this beautiful blonde that had been so smitten with him and his family, but she also may ask _a lot_ of questions, and Kendall wasn't sure how far he could actually go in a lie.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Kendall said with a fake smile, trying the best he could to fool his mother, which he knew was no use. Kim squeezed his thigh gently and nodded, biting her lower lip, her heart dropping. It killed her that Kendall didn't talk to her, but she wasn't going to force him, especially not after he had agreed to the therapy. She leaned over, pushed his shaggy blonde bangs from his face and rested her lips to his forehead, taking in her son's own scent, closing her eyes tightly, avoiding tears successfully.

"I'm always here for you, Kenny," she said softly, her voice cracking a bit at the end of the old nickname he had insisted he outgrew at the age of four. Kendall smiled and chuckled a bit at his mother words, and looked up at her soft, aged, wisdom filled blue sparkling eyes with a large smile.

"I love you, mom," he said with a sly smile. Kim smiled widely, her heart rising up inside, as she took a deep breath, and stood up from Kendall's bed walking across the carpeted room to the door, feeling confident and happy with their exchange for now.

* * *

Kendall made his way down to the breakfast table the next morning, having woken up with a barrage of "We need to talk," "I'm sorry," and "Dude, come on, answer me?" texts from Logan, James and Carlos respectively, still not truly ready to face them.

As he sat down at the table, rubbing his bed-ridden eyes, he noticed his mom laughing jubilantly on the phone, doing that amazingly motherly skill of holding the phone between her shoulder and ear, while using both hands to cook her famous scrambled eggs for Katie for breakfast.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later, Jenny. Bye," Kim said chuckling, mixing the almost done eggs with a pink plastic spatula. She took the phone from her ear, hung it up with one hand and placed it down on the counter. Kendall's head had perked up the second she had said Jenny.

"Do you want some eggs, Kendall?" she asked, turning around from the stove to face him with a smile, knowing they were his absolute favorite. Kendall ignored her question completely, rubbing his bangs from his eyes anxiously.

"That was Jenny?" he asked restlessly. Kim chuckled and turned her attention back to the eggs, finishing them up.

"Yeah, why so curious?" she asked with a curious tone of voice, chuckling at her son. Kendall swallowed hard. Any connection to Stella was a good one.

"I don't know, just wondering how Bryan and the Tregger's are doing," Kendall lied through his teeth, chuckling a bit. Kim chuckled as she brought the eggs over to the counter opposite the stove, and scraped them out into two separate plates, one for Katie and one for Kendall.

"Well, they're alright. Bryan is on alright terms with Alex just to let you know, and Jenny is pretty busy helping her brother move in," Kim said, throwing the now empty saucepan and spatula in the sink, but not before taking a small amount of egg with her fingers and dropping it into her mouth. Kendall looked up at his mother confused as she called Katie from the living room for breakfast, getting utensils out of the drawer in front of her.

"Wait, Jenny's brother is moving into the house? I thought he was getting married? And isn't he like a near billionaire? He can't afford his own house?" Kendall asked with a chuckle. Kim sighed and walked towards Kendall with two plates of delicious scrambled eggs in her hands.

"No. He's moving into the vacant house next door, silly," Kim said, sliding the eggs in front of her son.

Kendall's entire body froze, the second the words came out of his mother's mouth. He looked down at the plate of breakfast in front of him, his heart beating tenfold.

Suddenly, Kendall wasn't so hungry anymore.


	10. Love is a Four Letter Word

**A/N: Hello there! Short authors note this week! Thanks for the continued support and reviews that make writing this worthwhile. I hope you enjoy this week! Tell me what you think of the boys' backgrounds! Logan's is next week ;P**

****Make sure to check out Past The Sorrow by** _waterwicca_**. AN AMAZINGLY BREATHTAKING story if I do say so myself. And make sure to check out stories by **_tawniee, gleechild and christinainwonderland!_

_Chapter Ten: Love is a Four Letter Word_

"W-what do you mean? What do you mean he's moving into the vacant house next door?" Kendall asked, his words barely escaping his tight, dry throat. His heart beat faster and faster, his entire body boiling with not anger, but concern. "That house wasn't even for sale?" he breathed out.

_Stella._

"Katie, breakfast!" Kim called from the kitchen, going back to the counter to set salt and pepper in front of her son. Katie could be heard shutting of the television from whatever cartoon, or poker tournament she was watching and scurrying into the kitchen.

"M-ma," Kendall stumbled again, his hands clutching the white kitchen table with a tight grip as Katie slid into the seat across from him. She looked at her brother, gripping the table, his face twisted into a sick, betrayed expression and gave him an odd look.

"What's up with _you _Big Brother?" she asked with a small chuckle, immediately picking up her fork and going for her mother's special scrambled eggs. Kim placed the salt and pepper in front of her children, shuffling back to the fridge to fill two glasses with orange juice.

"Sweetie, Mr. Hughes is a billionaire, and he wants to be close to his sister and her family. The house next door has been vacant for a year, so he bought the house from the state and the parcel of land behind it," she said with ease, pouring the sunny liquid into each tall glass. "He wants a nice big backyard for his future family, and he's finally going to get that pesky forest down," she said with a smile, setting a glass of orange juice in front him, and kissing his blonde hair like he was a little boy.

Kendall's heart dropped even further into his lower stomach.

With the house gone, Stella could've always stayed in the forest in her cabin.

Not anymore.

Kendall's gaze was stuck on his plate of food, his insides shaking, his grip on the table unwavering as Katie stared him down.

"Kendall, what's wrong with you?" Katie asked confusedly, swallowing a gulp of her breakfast. Kendall looked at the plate in front of him, unable to even process anything that was happening.

His entire body went numb, his heart racing, his head in a jumble. He had left Stella. He had abandoned her and now, her future was uncertain. His heart ached at the fact that she wasn't going to sleep somewhere warm anymore. His toes curled at the fact that she could be sent off to another orphanage, where she would be hit. His breaths hitched at the fact that she'd have to be alone again, with no one to protect her.

This couldn't be happening.

Kendall closed his eyes tightly, the image of a lonely, cold, and terrified Stella, walking through the icy snow, her blonde hair fallen on her shoulders, eyes watery and cheeks pink, trying to find somewhere warm to sleep. His grip got even tighter on the table, his eyes watery as both Katie and Kim looked at Kendall with wide eyes, as his own green eyes fluttered open.

"I'm—I'm-not, h-hungry," Kendall mumbled out miserably, angrily getting up from the table his chair pushed out with power, the salt in the middle of the table falling down due to the force.

"Sweetheart, w-" Kim started to say, but before she could get a word out, Kendall's thunderous and ominous footsteps headed quickly upstairs, both Knight women giving each other concerned, confused looks.

* * *

"_Mijo_! Get up!" Marta Garcia called from the hallway, holding a basket of laundry, using one free hand to knock on the wood door of her son's room. She had been trying to wake her son up for almost fifteen minutes, and yet he still hadn't retreated from his room.

"It's not even 10:00 yet!" Carlos groaned muffled from inside, taking his white pillow, and using it to sandwich his head between it and the bed. Carlos pulled his blue and white comforter over his head, creating a small, protective little nestle he had been so accustomed to, blocking out his hearing. He would always do this when he was little and his parents were fighting, which was nearly every day.

"You have chores to do, Carlos. And I have to go to work in twenty minutes," Marta said through the door with a sigh. Carlos let out a loud groan and Marta had enough.

"I'm coming in," she said with her motherly tone of voice as she turned the door knob and entered her son's room.

Carlos was NOT a clean boy.

There were clothes astrew all over the dark blue carpet, and the light blue walls were littered with scratches, bumps and dents from all of his roughhousing over the years, whether it was playing hockey or ridiculous antics. Marta remembered one time the boys had decided to skate while doing handstands up here, and it had ended with fifteen stitches in Carlos' chin, an exhausting night at the hospital.

On the walls hung Minnesota Wild posters, a few random pictures of him and the boys and random posters of rock bands her son listened to. Marta couldn't help but smile at the barely moving mass that was her son under his comforter.

"Come on, Carlos. Get up! I just need you to do some things around the casa for me_,"_ she said in a guilt tripped tone of voice. Marta put the laundry basket down on the chest at the end of his bed, and came over to the left side. Carlos stirred a bit under the blankets, not responding to her as she sat down with a sigh on the bed, making sure not to wrinkle the clothes she had on for work, a pink top and a black pencil skirt.

"Come on, _mijito_. I need your help," Marta spoke softly and from the heart, as she rested her hand on Carlos' form comfortingly. She heard a sigh from the teenager, as he rolled over animatedly and locked eyes with his gorgeous, brown eyed mother. He gave her a small, bright smile.

Carlos couldn't help but feel bad for his mother. Marta Martinez was a strong, dignified, independent woman, long before Carlos had even arrived. Growing up as the only child of Cuban, doctor parents in Miami, Marta successfully strove on throughout high school, graduating in the top ten of her class, and going off to the University of Wisconsin on a full scholarship. It was then where she had met and fell for Pedro "Peter" Garcia, a rookie cop in the Madison County Police Department. It was love at first sight.

While an eight year age difference didn't bother nineteen year old Marta, and twenty seven year old Peter, it seemed to agitate Marta's parents, so instead of going back to Miami after finishing up at Wisconsin with her studies in bio-chemical engineering, as if on a whim, Peter promised her a fulfilling life in Minnesota, where he had recently accepted a job as a lieutenant of the Duluth Police Department.

After two years of trying to find a successful job in her specific field, Marta gave up all hope. Her and Peter both realized they wanted children long ago, and with his all over the place hours that were constantly changing, it was then Marta decided that with her husband's salary being enough that she had the opportunity to be a stay at home mom.

Just four years after they were married, Marta and Peter welcomed a son, Carlos Antonio Martinez Garcia, named after Marta and Peters' fathers respectively.

However, when Carlos was around seven, he noticed a change in his family's dynamic. His parents barely spoke, and when they did speak they were yelling. Carlos hadn't seen the babysitter, Adriana, in the longest time since she wasn't needed, Marta and Peter barely ever going out on dates anymore. There would be nights when Carlos would wait by the window of his room, just praying that his father would pull up in the driveway, and that he wouldn't miss another night home. Peter had always arrived home from work just in time to tuck little Carlos in, and tell him some story about how the criminal was caught in the end at work.

The small boy cried himself to sleep in his mother's arms many a nights when the man he had admired most would work longer hours, just to get away from the stress of his family, his wife and his home life. Pedro Garcia **adored** his son, and would do anything in the world for the boy who he loved unconditionally, but when Carlos was twelve, after five years of fights, tears, lies and lack of love, Marta and Peter sat the boy down at a normal, silent, family dinner, and dropped the d-word.

Divorce.

Carlos took it horribly at first, yelling at both of his parents until he was blue in face, before collapsing in his father's arms crying, wondering why. While Peter and Marta were alright with each other, they just weren't in love anymore. They assured Carlos that no matter what happened, that they would always remain a family, and that he would always come first in their lives.

However as time went on, Marta and Peter began to disagree more and more when it came to raising Carlos, with the boy being shipped off to the new apartment his dad rented just a few towns over for visits every so often, and then back to his home. With Carlos still so young and Peter's job having such confusing, unset hours, a judge had decided it would be better to have Marta keep custody of Carlos, Peter visiting whenever possible, much to the discontent of his father.

Although as time went on, Peter and Marta couldn't bear to be in the same room together. Their relationship had gone from bad, to better, to even worse than before. Everything was a fight, even if it was over the phone. Carlos still made sure to see his father every chance he could get, as Peter tried his best to come to every hockey game or school play the boy was in. Carlos didn't have hatred towards either of his parents for splitting up, but it had affected the boy in ways one could only imagine. Ways Carlos didn't understand until now.

Neither of his parents had remarried since the divorce, and he knew his mom was doing her best to stay strong in front of him, having a string of odd jobs along with child support from Peter to keep a roof over her small family's head. He truly admired her for it, and he understood the reason behind his parent's split, but it had messed with his mind a bit.

"The usual chores?" Carlos asked his mom with a half smile and sigh, running his hand through his short, messy hair. Marta smiled and nodded, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"Yes. And I need you to unload the dishwasher as well," she said. Carlos scratched the back of his neck with a confused look, sighing as if something was on his mind. It then hit him. Kendall. Carlos eagerly scuffled beneath the sheets for his cell phone as Marta looked on curious. He flipped it open eagerly, seeing no new text messages and his heart dropped a bit. He stared at this phone sighing for a second, and then throwing it down beside him disappointed.

"Everything okay?" she asked Carlos a bit confused and worried at how fast his smile dissipated off his face. Carlos swallowed hard and looked up at his mother's tired, aged, beautiful face.

"Yeah. Everything is fine, mom," Carlos said softly.

* * *

James, Carlos and Logan all met at the corner of Hunter Street, Kendall's house just down the block on adjacent Granger Lane. All three boys came from different angles, and all looked at each other with the same upset face on as they neared closer in the cold, harsh winter wind. There was that cloud looming over them again.

"Hey," Carlos softly and shyly bid James and Logan, as they acknowledged each other with merely a head nod. They had **all **seen Kendall's reaction yesterday. And they knew that it was back. The anger. The nightmares. The insanity.

Kendall's reaction to his father's accident had been painful for all three boys to watch.

_It had been a long, agonizing month since Mr. Knight's car accident, the wake and the funeral, and Kendall was doing horribly. He had been cooped up in his room basically since the funeral, refusing to accept that his father was really gone. He would sit in bed, the covers over his head crying his eyes out, or talking up to the sky, asking his father why he had left him. Kendall barely ate or spoke to anyone. It was as if Mrs. Knight didn't have enough to worry about with Katie, and her own personal grief._

_He had snapped at his mother nearly every day when she tried to unsuccessfully talk to him, he had yelled at Katie so harshly it had given her nightmares, and he had wrecked his room numerous times, cleaning it spotless in a barrage of tears afterwards to pass the time. He refused to go to school, he refused to step outside._

_Kendall was going mad._

_Finally, after much persuasion and a bit of tough love, Kim had coaxed her son to spend the night at James' house, where the three other boys were having their usual monthly slumber party. Kendall needed his friends, and as much as he wanted to stay in his room and be miserable, he knew it was true._

_It had helped him tenfold. As soon as he was in the company of his friends, it seemed like everything was alright. His best friends did wonders._

_The boys had set down their sleeping bags in James' basement, complete with a flat screen TV and refrigerator, an absolute heaven for the boys' midnight snack cravings, especially Carlos. Except this particular night, Carlos wasn't his usually self. When the boys played their customary round of midnight hockey, like they weren't supposed to but did anyway, he had barely checked any of the boys into the plush couches of James' basement, letting them pass, hitting his stick on the carpet in frustration. Heck, even Kendall, who was laughing a bit for the first time in weeks noticed Carlos' gloomy demeanor. He wasn't his usual self. No smile on his face, no pep in his step._

_Something was wrong._

_The boys were sitting in their usual circle formation with a bag of Doritos and Pepsi in the middle, all taking small crunches and laughing, the only light from the TV behind them._

_"So what about Sarah Stiles?" Logan asked with wide brown eyes, crunching on a chip._

_"We didn't have sex, we just kinda fooled around," James said casually, as if every fifteen year old boy was as sexually experienced as he was. Kendall let out a small chuckle and crunched a chip, as Logan sighed._

_"Her house?" Kendall asked curiously. James nodded no with wide eyes._

_"Sarah's dad is like 6'4'' and he's some burly football player for Minnesota's Minor league team, or something like that," James said, obviously not showing any true interest in Sarah's life._

_Logan pondered the thought. He'd never **ever** chance something like that in his parents' house._

_"Your parents go away again?" Logan asked with knowing eyes. James chuckled and ran his hands through his hair._

_"Actually no. My parents were downstairs watching a movie, and me and Sarah were "studying" up in my room," James chuckled. Logan looked at James with definitive eyebrows and a bit of a scoff._

_"Oh, so you guys just hooked up?" Logan asked non-chalantly, feeling like an equal for a split second._

_Logan had only made out with one girl, Janie Goss, a girl who had a huge crush on him, when she had practically attacked Logan's lips at a party the four friends had shown up at a few months ago. Of course, honest Logan had barely gotten a lie out to his strict parents and said they were going to James' house. However the four had already previously decided to go to Joey Greg's party down the block from the Diamond household._

_The boys had stayed there for all of ten minutes before realizing it was NOT their type of scene, but in that time, Janie had managed to drag Logan into a back room and hook up with him, her breath reeking of alcohol. While Logan would've loved to erase the event from his mind, even though it wasn't SO terrible, he couldn't…it was the only track record he had with a girl, and he had to have **something** to look back on. _

_James chuckled. "I said **fooled around** for a reason, Logie," James said defiantly with an eyebrow cock. Logan looked at him surprised. "I got down her pants, and under her bra," James said proudly, crunching on a chip with a smirk._

_Logan rolled his eyes, his brain scrambling. How could James' parents be **so** oblivious to their sons' sexual deviancy?_

_It was then the three boys' noticed usually curious and enthusiastic Carlos had barely said a word during this whole conversation, and for most of the night. He sat on his sleeping bag, looking down at his fingers miserably._

_"Carlos, what's wrong? Why are you so quiet?" Logan asked, as the boys all leaned on their forearms looking at each other quizzically._

_Carlos swallowed hard and looked down at his fingers. He had overheard his mother crying in the bathroom on the phone with his father. He could hear how the two were fighting…over him…**AGAIN**. Carlos knew that his life was the most important thing to both of his parents, but both of them thought they knew what was best for the teenager, and frankly, he couldn't take his father's anger at his mother anymore. She hadn't done anything wrong. It was the first time Carlos had ever been truly fuming at his father._

_"Everything," Carlos said softly, looking down in the darkness at his pillow. All were silent._

_"Why, what's wrong?" Logan asked gently, in a cracked voice. Carlos sighed deeply, holding back sobs the best he could._

_"I got into a fight with my dad," Carlos said dryly and obviously upset. Kendall's head perked up to the use of the word 'dad', something he wouldn't be able to use again. His heart beat faster, smile sagging. Dad._

_"What'd you fight about?" James asked leisurely, swinging his feet in the air behind him, crunching on a Dorito and pouring more Pepsi in his glass. No one knew how James' ate so bad, but yet had the body of a Greek God. It had to be the countless hours he spent at the rink._

_"He tells me things about my mom that I just can't handle," he spoke softly. "Like how he never loved her, and how, how, the only reason they got married was because there was nothing else for them to do, and that the only reason they had me was so they could stay together, and-and I **hate** it," Carlos breathed out, heavily his anger getting the best of him. "I **hate** it. It's like he blames my mother for everything, and I-I can't take it anymore!" he said angrily, his fists shaking. "He put her through so much, with all his lies, and him yelling at her, and screaming at her, and I hate it! I **hate** him!" Carlos cried angrily, his voice getting louder and sterner, each word filled with more and more venom. Carlos' breath hitched loudly, and the boys all stared at each other._

_Silence. Awkwardness._

_Everything had been going so swell and normal, until then._

_"At least you have a father to be mad at," Kendall muttered out in the darkness, his voice cutting the tension with a knife. Carlos looked at Kendall, whose face was still and sullen, illuminated by the television. Carlos hadn't even thought that Kendall might feel awkward with Carlos bringing up his father. Everything had been so surprisingly normal, the boys maybe thought that Kendall just needed to get out of the house for a bit, and that's why he was getting so angry._

_"I'm sorry Kendall, I-I," he stumbled out, the blondes face illuminated from the TV, making his dark furrowed eyebrows and frown all that much scarier. Kendall stood up, his fists at his side tightly, his face getting hot, his blood boiling, his heart racing. How could his friend be so ungrateful? He knew what was coming. It had happened so many times towards his mother and sister the past month, but he had **never** thought that he would lash out at his friends._

_Kendall had no control._

_"You're lucky you even have a father to hate, Carlos," Kendall said meanly. Carlos swallowed hard and nodded, trying to smooth things over._

_"I know, I know I am, I just, he's inconsiderate sometimes, that's all I'm saying," he said, his voice shaking._

_"Well, my father is dead, buried in the fucking ground, and I can't do a **goddamn** thing about it! Give him some slack, he is just a person!" Kendall said hoarsely, pointing his finger in the distressed, upset Latino's face as James' stood up, playing peacemaker._

_"Easy, buddy," James said a bit frightened, holding his hands out to Kendall, who smacked them away, shoving the approaching James' back._

_"No! Just cause Carlos' is being ungrateful doesn't mean I'm not allowed to call him out on it. You are all lucky you have fathers, alright? I don't! My father is dead! He's **GONE**! And he's NEVER coming back, so how DARE **any** of you ever say that you can't stand your own dad's cause once their gone, they **never** come back!" he yelled angrily at the three boys. "MY FATHER IS GONE! FOREVER! I'LL** NEVER** GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN!" Kendall screamed, his voice breaking with tears, as all three boys stood there in awe watching. Kendall angrily kicked James' father's old television next to him, it crashing violently on its side as all three boys looked at the monster he had turned into in the matter of seconds._

_Kendall Knight had cracked._

_Kendall looked at his friends, surprised at his outburst, breathing heavily as he then looked at the fallen television. Warm tears fell down his cheeks as he fell to his knees, his hands shaking as he tried to fix it, swallowing hard._

_"I-I'm sorry J-James," Kendall said shakily, trying his best to fix the now broken and useless television. His face begun to be engulfed in tears, as his body began to shake with sobs._

_"I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to," Kendall said weakly, feebly trying to refasten the knobs and antennae desperately like it was some black ops mission. Kendall dropped his hands from the stereo onto his lap exasperated, softly sobbing as the three boys arose from their sleeping bags, going to comfort their crying friend._

_"It's okay, Kendall," James' spoke gently, touching his friend's forearm, trying his best to not be afraid. Kendall nodded and sobbed, running his hands through his hair in desperation. His face shot up and he looked at Carlos who had wasted no time in squeezing the boy's shoulder gently._

_"I-I'm sorry, Carlos. I-I didn't m-mean to yell at you, I'm s-sorry," Kendall stuttered out. Carlos smiled at his friend gently, understanding his pain._

_"It's alright, dude. Don't worry about it. You're right. I should appreciate my dad more," he said softly as Logan rested a hand on Kendall's, both boys catching each other's eyes. Kendall looked up at Logan for all the answers he needed, trying his hardest to understand. He always went to Logan for answers to things he just couldn't understand. Logan always had answers._

_"Why am I getting so angry, Logan? What's wrong with me?" Kendall asked him desperately, his eyes wide and innocent. Logan swallowed hard and shook his head confused._

_No answers this time._

_"I-I don't know, Kendall," Logan whispered out softly. Kendall shook his head even more disappointed as Logan rested a hand on the boy's knee._

_"It's alright, man. It's gonna be okay, we're here for you, always," he said softly. Kendall looked up at his friends with wide, teary and helpless eyes._

_This was only the beginning._

James, Carlos and Logan were silent as they made the usual walk down the street, passing Mrs. Porter's pink and white house, the side court that Robbie Freeman lived on, and the huge maple tree Carlos' had gotten stuck in the summer of third grade before they stopped in front of the white house with the dark green shutters the boys had called home.

Logan looked at the driveway and saw that Mrs. Knight's minivan was there, but Kendall's dark blue Chevy was nowhere to be seen. Logan sighed and looked at James and Carlos questioningly, all three boys still remaining silent.

Logan led the trio up the icy pathway of the Knight's house, wondering if Kendall was even home. He stood on the stoop and took his hand, gently knocking on the door, awaiting an answer. He heard Mrs. Knight's worried, shaky voice, and Logan instantly knew something was wrong.

He knew a mother concerned.

Mrs. Knight opened the door, her eyes watery, and a frown on her aged, tired face, bundled up in a sweat suit. Her eyes tried to shine up when she saw the three boys there, who all gave her a small smile and wave as Logan smiled.

"Hi, Mrs. Knight. Is…Kendall home?" he asked her, bracing for impact. The boys didn't know if Kendall had told Mrs. Knight of their fight, but he didn't suspect it due to the friendly look on her face, and the fact that Logan was sure that Kendall wouldn't tell his mother he fell in love over vacation.

Kim looked down with a sigh and then back at up at the boys. After storming away from the breakfast table leaving both Katie and Kim at a loss for words, they had decided the boy needed his time alone and didn't disturb him. Maybe he was just having a bad morning. However that wasn't the case.

It never was just a "bad morning" with Kendall.

Katie had been doing some of her math homework she had been assigned over the school break in her room, with her music on a bit loudly. Kendall, who was in the room next to her's, was trying to wallow in his own pity. He was trying to finish up the three page love-letter he had finally written Stella, after seven drafts. His hand shakily wrote, forgetting his neat penmanship, as he didn't have much time before the post office closed, but he couldn't concentrate. Not with that loud music.

After nearly messing up, and having to start a whole new sheet of loose leaf, Kendall had enough of the teenage boy band lyrics. He threw the paper down on his bed along with his pen and angrily thumped across the room like some sort of monster. He went into the green hallway, and stomped to Katie's room, which had the door wide open. The little girl sat at her white desk in her purple room, doing her math with one of those awesome, fuzzy pens.

"Turn your music off. I'm doing something important and can't concentrate," Kendall said annoyed, Katie not even bothering to turn around.

"Well, then put your own ear phones in stupid," Katie joked carelessly, continuing dividing her fractions. Kendall swallowed hard and walked more into her room, going over to the iHome and shutting it off. Katie turned her head to him with a disturbed face.

"You can't do that. Put it back on," Katie whined as Kendall began to walk out. The girl wasted no time in turning the music back on, as Kendall stopped in his tracks. She went back to her math as he angrily turned around on one foot and harshly pressed the 'off' button again.

"Keep it off," Kendall spoke loud, clear and angry.

"It's my room, just get out and leave me alone," Katie said menacingly, turning it back on.

"Turn the music off."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Katie turn the **fucking **music off!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

_Crash._With one powerful swat, Kendall had hit the girl's beloved iHome and iPod down to the floor with a crash, the iPod landing on the hardwood floor with a deafening crack. Kendall's breaths were heavy, and his eyes wide at what he had done as Katie looked down at the mess her brother had made. She looked back up at him with heavy brown eyes, a bit watery as she swallowed hard.

"Look at what you did!" Katie cried, her voice weakening with unexpected tears as Kendall stared down, horrified at his actions. He knelt on his knees, immediately feeling remorse and shakily tried to fix his sister's iHome.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Baby Sister. I d-didn't mean it—" he tried to say, Katie's eyes leaking tears as she got up out of her chair and looked towards Kendall in awe. He looked up at her and tried to reach out for a hug.

"D-don't touch me," she croaked out nervously, her voice weak. Kendall swallowed hard as Katie flinched away from him, terrified. That's what set Kendall off. His own Baby Sister was _afraid _of him.

"I'm sorry, Katie. I'll fix this I promise," he said softly and remorsefully, looking in her eyes as he reached out a hand to her arm.

"Don't touch me!" she cried out miserably, backing away from the monster Kendall had become. "J-just get away from me," she cried helplessly, going straight for the door to tell her mother. Kendall sat on the floor of his little sister's room, breath heavy, fists clenched, and tears coming to his eyes, his heart heavy, mind spinning in infinite directions.

It was back.

And it was worse.

Kim stood there, replaying the morning's events in her head, looking at the faces of the teens in front of her. They definitely knew something was up. After wrecking Katie's room, Kendall had angrily pocketed his keys and wallet, and stormed out the door. There was no question to where he was going.

"No," she said softly, looking up at James, Carlos and Logan with a heart wrenched, tired stare.

"He's at the cemetery."

* * *

"Cemeteries creep me out," James said, checking his mirrors before making the left onto Hillside Turnpike. Logan sat shotgun, Carlos in the back, looking down at his fingers and fidgeting in his seat as James made the turn and straightened out the wheel.

"I know, but don't say anything stupid in front of Kendall, please? You **know** how you have a knack of doing it," Logan begged sighing, looking out the window. The drive from Duluth to the cemetery two towns over was only a mere twenty minutes, so as soon as the boys left the Knight's house, they immediately walked back to James' and hopped in his car, no question as to where they were going.

"What if he doesn't want us there?" Carlos asked from the back, his eyes going to the strips of cemeteries they passed on the turnpike. James sighed, his eyes scanning the horribly familiar gates of Kingston Memorial Cemetery, black and iron wrought, making the entrance look like death."Well we're going either way. Kendall needs us," James said, checking his rearview and side mirrors one last time before making a right into the cemetery, his blinker clicking in time with the rattling of the windows on his old '94 Honda Accord.

As soon at the boys entered the cemetery, their eyes went to the windows of the car, looking out at the ominous snow covered trees that hung over certain gravesites. Some headstones were bigger than others, some monumental, some just plaques with flowers on them. James made a sharp left, going down a long, winding path. The same long, winding path they had been driven down since the funeral. They hadn't been here since the funeral, but they knew Kendall had come here at least once a week immediately following the accident.

Logan couldn't even imagine losing his father so suddenly. It scared him.

As they drove down, they saw a dark blue Chevy parked half off the road in the distance. Kendall's car.

"He's right there," Carlos muttered silently to James, tilting his chin in the direction where he saw a boy in the distance, the only one in the cemetery at the time, sitting in front of a gravestone. Carlos' hands gripped the two headrests of Logan and James' seats as James swiftly pulled behind Kendall's car, putting it in park, and sitting back. He turned the car off, and looked at Logan, and then Carlos with a confused face on.

"You boys ready?" he asked them, darting from their eyes. Logan nodded as did Carlos as they all exited the car, closing the doors behind them gently. They looked in the distance, the ground still snowy as they saw Kendall sitting cross legged in front of his father's tomb stone. He was about two-hundred feet away, his back to them as they started their descent.

Carlos clutched his brown scarf to his chest, James sticking his hands in his pockets as their boots crunched on the still partly powdery snow. As they made their way to their fallen friend, they noticed something.

They heard something.

Kendall…was singing?

_"A long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember the last thing you said as you were leavin'…now the days go by so fast," _he sang broken and in a whisper, his voice a bit weak, but absolutely beautiful.

Logan, Carlos and James looked at each other in awe, not believing the beautiful voice that radiated from Kendall's throat, through his pursed pink lips and into the cold sang softly. Kendall reached out and touched the granite of his father's headstone, his voice in a broken whisper.

"And it's one more day up in the canyons, and it's one more night in Hollywood. If you think that I could be forgiven,"

_"I wish you would."_The three boys, just feet behind Kendall didn't want to startle him. They waited until Kendall had definitely finished singing, and James' cleared his throat loudly, breaking the awkward silence.

Kendall whipped his head around startled, his face confused, as he saw his three best friends standing there. His heart dropped, and swelled with joy at the same time. His face immediately turned red, knowing that his friends had heard him signing from the bottom of his heart, his voice shaky, and throat dry. His friends didn't know he had a voice.

"We…we didn't mean to interrupt, Kendall," James said softly, his eyes shining with concern for the boy in front of him. Logan and Carlos nodded as they moved a bit closer to him, Kendall nodding at them, and then turning back around to face his father's gravestone.

Carlos, James and Logan all nodded to each other, signifying Kendall's nod as a peace treaty. They each took their seats beside the boy, not even caring that their jeans would get soaked.

There was silence as all four boys stared up at the tombstone in front of them. Kristopher Knight had died many years too young.

"What were you singing?" Carlos asked cautiously, making sure not set Kendall off. He sighed and looked at the boy with a small smile. He felt comforted that his friends were here. He had wanted to talk to them since their fight at the rink the previous day, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He was afraid.

Afraid he'd lash out on them again.

"A Long December by the Counting Crows," Kendall said with a small chuckle and smile, embarrassed a bit. He looked back at the tombstone and touched the snow covered fake flowers that had been set there by someone he did not know. "It was one of my dad's favorite songs. We used to sing it together," he said softly.

Logan who sat next to Kendall on his other side smiled.

"I didn't know you could sing, Kendall. You have a beautiful voice," Logan said smiling. Kendall looked at him with a wide smile, something Logan hadn't truly seen in a long time from the boy.

"Really? You think so?" he asked as if the statement was ludicrous. James, the one with the face, voice, and dreams of Hollywood nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, dude. You're _almost_ as good as I am," he said with a small chuckled of laughter. Kendall smiled and sighed deeply, looking back at his father's tomb, shaking his head.

"My dad taught me how to play guitar, and how to sing. He was the only one who knew I had a voice," he said softly. All the boys listened intently. "Right before he died, he wanted me to perform at some party he was having for his office, and I-I didn't want to. I have-such horrible stage fright, and my dad always tried to push me to be the best I could be. I never sang at that office party. And a week later, he died," Kendall said, swallowing hard.

Carlos put a hand on his shoulder smiled. "Well you have a beautiful voice, Kendall. You shouldn't keep it hidden," he said gently, smiling at just the thought of it. Kendall shrugged and was silent, the three boys deciding that they should drop the topic.

Silence.

Kendall looked at his friends and sighed, chuckling a bit.

"So, uh. My anger problem has bared its ugly head again," he said chuckling, playing with the snow in front of the tombstone. Logan, Carlos and James all looked at each other with a small smile, knowing that they were with the real Kendall. They knew Kendall would be nothing but honest and himself in front of his father.

"It's alright, man. We understand," James said with chuckle. Logan and Carlos nodded in agreement as Kendall looked both ways at his friends and sighed.

"My mom wants me to start therapy, so I guess I'll uh—be a mental case pretty soon," he laughed lightly. Logan chuckled and nodded his head no, putting a hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"All types of people go to therapy, Kendall. It doesn't mean they're crazy," Logan said logically, telling his friend the truth. Carlos nodded in agreement.

"My mom went to therapy after the divorce. I even went with her once. It wasn't that bad," he chimed in, remembering how he had gotten a lollipop and a plush stuffed animal the one time had gone with Marta. Kendall nodded and sighed, looking up to the sky, puffing air out between his lips.

"I know. It's just weird. But I guess it's good that I get some help," he said bluntly. Logan looked at Kendall with a proud smirk. Something had changed in him since seeing him last. He seemed more mature, mellower but in a good way. He had definitely grown up over the vacation.

Silence.

"So, why don't you tell us about…Stella?" James asked curiously, making sure to get her name right. Kendall looked at James' surprised, wondering if it was some sort of joke, but saw the sincerity in James' eyes. Stella was the whole entire reason for the boys' fight, and for Kendall's anger.

"Really?" he asked James, his eyes going to Logan and Carlos who were both nodding eagerly. Kendall swallowed hard, his heart beating faster as a flush came to his cheeks. Finally, he could be honest about her to someone. Finally his best friends were on his side.

"Well, we met on the balcony of the Tregger's house. I was crying about my father, because something was said, I don't really remember," Kendall said furrowing his eyebrows at the useless information, "but, she was there to talk to me, and calm me down," he said with a goofy smile on his face. The boys chuckled a bit and Carlos was confused.

"She was just randomly…chillin on the rooftop?" he asked with a scrunched up face. Kendall nodded at him.

"Well, what does she look like?" James asked, being typical James. Kendall took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to get the image of the beautiful blonde in his mind perfectly. She returned to him instantly.

"She has beautiful, wavy cornflower blonde hair and big, bright blue eyes. Long eyelashes, a cute button nose, a freckly face, and the supplest pink lips," Kendall said with a deep sigh, the image of Stella near making him shiver as his green eyes opened.

"Damn," James said like a horndog. "Sounds s-"

"She sounds gorgeous," Logan interrupted, giving James him a stern, "watch your words" look, with which James shot his tongue out at Logan. Kendall chuckled.

"Sexy? Yes. **Very**," Kendall joked lightly. James smiled and Logan sighed deeply, as Carlos chuckled.

"Well, why was she on the roof in the first place?" Carlos asked, still confused. Kendall swallowed hard, fidgeting with his fingers, and scratching the back of his neck.

"Stargazing. She loves the stars," Kendall whispered out smiling, each memory of Stella and retelling her tale making him wish that much more that she was with him, and that she was still in that house. Logan smiled and laughed.

"And her name is Stella? Ha. That's so convenient," the smart boy pointed out, amused by his own observation. Kendall shot him a large smile, his green eyes excited that the boy had picked it up and seemed interested.

"So, is she a friend of the Tregger's? A neighbor or something?" James asked curiously, brushing some snow from his coat. Kendall looked at him, then at Carlos and then at Logan. Sure, they were being supportive now, but when Kendall told them she was a runaway, maybe it wouldn't sit so well with them. Would Logan tell him the statistics of runaway girls? Would James think she is dirty? Would Carlos think she was a fathom of Kendall's imagination?

Kendall sighed deeply, looking down, and then looking back at his friends.

"She's a runaway."

After the initial shock of telling the boys about Stella had worn off, they listened intently, their eyes locked on the boys. Kendall told them all about how he met her, what they had talked about, and how they had kissed that first night on the deck. The boys were intrigued that Stella had capture Kendall's heart so quickly, but they could tell by the way he talked about her, that he was so taken by her. He didn't address the fact she was a runaway again. Not yet at least.

Kendall spoke her name passionately, making sure to draw out every syllable of any words pertaining to her, "b-e-a-utiful", "paaaahsionate", "ahhhhmaaaaaazing". She deserved it. The boys could tell.

"She just has something about her. The way she moves, the way she talks. She's always so clever and witty, and she lets her mind wander. If she wants to say something, she says it. If she wants to do something, she does it," Kendall said. "She is **not** like other girls."

"She doesn't sound like it," Carlos said smiling. Kendall nodded and chuckled.

He told them about Christmas Eve, how she was Kacey for the family, and how she worked at the General Store. He told them about the cabin, and how things had come so naturally when it had come to having sex with her.

"I mean, I-I know I only knew her for three days, but, it just felt…right. I wasn't nervous or anything like that," Kendall said softly, as James looked at him surprised.

"Wow, good for you. I was nervous my first time," James said, totally leveling himself down below Kendall. Logan chuckled and looked back at Kendall with a smile.

"Was it any good?" he asked. Kendall looked taken aback by Logan's question, expecting it from Carlos or something. Kendall looked down a bit embarrassed, a large smirk on his face before connecting eyes with Logan again.

"It was…" he muttered out chuckling, just thinking of how in that moment, Stella had forgone the use of his last name, and told him that she loved him. Finally. "It was one of the greatest moments of my life," he said eyes wide, a bit surprised at his words. It was true.

"Wow. Even better than when we beat Mayville for the state championship freshmen year?" Carlos asked with wide eyes, as if he couldn't believe _anything_ would feel better that that.

Kendall pondered the thought for a second. The sex had indeed been _amazing_. Not that Kendall had a lot to compare it too, rather than his own hand, but he had never felt so at ease, pleasure filled and so calm in all his lifetime. But there was **so** much more than the gratification. Having that physical connection with Stella, where the emotional connection had been so imminent from the start was _absolutely necessary_. It was less of how Kendall physically felt inside of Stella, and more of the emotional desire to be in completely harmony with her personality, and body.

"You know how they always say sex is supposed to be absolutely like a **hundred** times better than jerking off?" Kendall asked his friends bluntly, in a soft voice, hence his father's presence. The boys nodded, James vigorously of course.

"It's basically the same feeling, but…when you are with someone you really l-love," Kendall said stumbling on the word. He looked to see if his friends' faces' had dropped, and they remained unmoved, which made Kendall smile. He took a deep breath. "When you are with someone you really love, it's so…amazing to be one person with them, and to be able to please them so greatly," Kendall said to himself shaking his head near amazed at the fact. He blushed a little, describing such an act of sex like a girl would but he laughed it off.

"I know I probably sound like a chick right now, but…it's true. It's_ so_ true."

Kendall looked at his friends who were all encompassed in his description of it, even James. Kendall could even see a bit of jealousy in James' eyes. Sure, he had more experience than Kendall, and had been with more girls, but Kendall's first time was with someone he truly loved, and James hadn't had one time that could come even _close._

"You really love her, don't you man?" Logan said softly, the wind whipping through the cemetery as Kendall nodded softly, and a bit sadly.

"I do," he said. He turned to Logan and looked at him. "I really do, Logan." "I love to just look in her eyes, I love to kiss her, I love to hold her and spend time with her, I even sang for her," he said rambling on and on with a smile. "And even though she thinks she doesn't need it, I love to protect her," Kendall finished, subconsciously touching the marks on his face from Alex.

"Is that where you got these fine bruises and busted lip from?" Logan asked, arching his head to check out the almost healed lip, and the bruises on Kendall's face. The blonde nodded, pushing back his bangs and chuckling.

"Well, one of Bryan's idiot friends started talking about her like she was…some kind of dirty, disgusting, slut, and I attacked him," Kendall said a bit proudly, but the other boys looked a bit worried, knowing that again, anger had gotten the best of Kendall.

"Anger getting the best of you?" Logan asked curiously and cautiously. Kendall's face dropped a bit, and he sighed deeply, sadly nodding at his best friends comment. He hung his head a bit, and bit his lip, the image of Stella still in his mind, as a new image of Katie being terrified and running away from him entered his mind.

"It happened today," he muttered out. Logan, Carlos and James looked at each other with small smiles, knowing that finally, their best friend was opening up to them.

"What happened?" James asked gently. Kendall sighed.

"I was angry, and I-I was trying to write a letter to Stella, and Katie had her music too loud, so I went in there and turned it off," he started. "And then, I guess she didn't want it off, and we got into this argument, and I got so mad at her, that I hit her iHome on the floor, and broke her iPod." Kendall swallowed hard, his breath a bit heavy.

"And she was so afraid of me. She wouldn't let me touch her, she flinched away from me. And I felt like—like some sort of monster," Kendall whispered out, Carlos putting a hand on his shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"Well, why did you get angry in the first place?" Carlos asked. Kendall swallowed hard and looked up at the boys. He hadn't really touched much on the fact that Stella was runaway. He had talked about the sex, the love, her beauty, her wit, her charm and everything else good in her life. Not the bad.

"Stella lived in the vacant house next to the Tregger's, and…Jenny's brother is moving into it. She has nowhere to go, and-and it's the dead of winter. She can't stay at the General Store, and-I just, I-I don't know what to do. I don't know where she is going to go, or how she is going to survive," Kendall said, his voice cracking, looking up at his father's tombstone, trying his hardest not to cry.

"Well, what about before the house? Where was she then?" James asked curiously. Kendall sighed.

"She was a hitchhiker basically, and she would wander from town to town in soup kitchens, and—and she was abused in the orphanage she was in," Kendall said, closing his eyes and trailing off in frustration. "I just need to make sure she is alright," he whispered gently.

Kendall swallowed hard and looked up at the sky, closing his beautiful green eyes.

"God, I hope she is alright."

* * *

The bus made it hard to write.

The cold, chill of the brisk, painful Minnesota wind coming through the windows made it hard to write.

The fact that it was so cloudy, it was hard to see the stars made it hard to write.

Stella sat curled up in the backseat of the bus she had caught two three hours ago through a barrage of tears that seemed endless. Next to her was a large canvas bag of her belongings, her three or four shirts, jeans, track pants, her sweater, jacket and boots she had worn to Christmas Eve, some dry cereal and water and a few other random items she needed.

Stella wiped her red eyes with one hand, as the bumpy ride began to cease. She looked down at her messy letter to Kendall which she had been trying to write for two hours, messy handwriting with water droplets on cheap loose leaf.

It wasn't even the fact that she had nowhere to live, now that the house had been bought, and the forest behind her, as well as her cabin had been zoned off for wreckage with ugly, orange tape.

Stella wanted nothing more than to kiss Kendall. To tell him she loved him. To make her feel safe again, and confident. To kiss the pain away. To give her the love she never had.

But he wasn't there.

Stella swallowed hard, as the bus came to a complete stop.

She was the only one on it.

Stella looked down at the blue cardigan that was wrapped around her shoulders, her heart beat slowing down with each miserable thought of Kendall's distance from her.

She couldn't do this alone.

She had come so far by herself, and now, she had become dependent on the beautiful love Kendall had offered her. She was crying over him, like he had been crying over his father that night on the deck. She couldn't be that way.

If this was two weeks ago, she would've been alright with being evicted. So what? She needed a new place to stay.

But Kendall Knight had changed everything.

As the bus driver motioned for Stella to get off the bus, he took his hat off, and put it underneath his arm, grabbing his jacket from behind him and slipping it on. Stella sighed deeply, and pretended to gather her things, as the lights in the bus shut off.

She peeped her head out the window to see the burly, bus driver lighting up a cigarette and walking away, not even bothering to check if she got off alright.

Stella's soft whimpers began again, as she wiped her tear soaked face with the sleeve of Kendall's cardigan, and made herself comfortable in the back seat.

The wind whipped through the windows and creeped up Stella's spine, as she wished for nothing more than Kendall's warm, beautiful form to be sleeping next to her. His hands to be touching her. His eyes to be locked on hers.

It was dark.

Stella looked down at the letter she had started, but couldn't see anything. Her heart ached even more. What were the chances she was ever going to mail this? What were the chances that Kendall was ever going to see her again? What were the chances that he wasn't at home right now, thinking about one of the new girls in his school?

What were the chances that something as _fucked up_ as this could ever work out?

Stella closed her eyes tightly, and knew what she had to do. She gently removed the cardigan from her shoulders, the chill creeping up her back as she threw it in a heap next to her on the disgusting, cold, bus seat. She lay down using her canvas bag as a pillow and shut her swollen watery eyes.

She needed to be strong. She needed to be independent.

This is why love had never worked before. She couldn't be loved.

It hadn't worked with Gina and John, or at the orphanage or her parents. Love wasn't in the equation for her. Not in the stars.

Stella went to sleep that night praying.

Not praying to see Kendall.

Not praying to get his letter.

Not praying to find somewhere warmer to sleep tonight.

Stella prayed to God that hopefully when she woke up in the morning, all the wonderful love she felt towards Kendall Knight would be weeded out of her life.

Completely.


	11. New Year's

**A/N: This chapter is on the shorter side, but VERY powerful. Please Read and Review! **

**Make sure to check out waterwicca's Past The Sorrow. ****Here is a snippet ;D:**

"So, my lovely first date, where to?" Kendall asked excitedly, turning to stand in front of Sage and putting the smile back on his face that seemed to be reserved only for her. His eyes held a special shine when looking into hers. They showed pure joy and adoration without any effort. In fact, everything seemed effortless between them. Everything just happened perfectly. There were no choices.

"We could see a movie I guess," Sage suggested, unsure. She had never been on a date before or even hung out with friends. She had no clue what _"normal"_ teenagers did.

"Whatever you want," Kendall responded softly and sincerely.

He pulled their intertwined hands gently towards himself so that she got up from the bed. They stood still for a moment, only mere inches from one another; both enjoying the close proximity. Kendall took a bold step forward, placing his hand on her waist. He may have seemed confident to an outsider, but Sage knew better.

They both shuddered with delight at the contact; their heads instinctively inching closer to one another. Only a few words had been spoken between them, but even speaking seemed unnecessary when they were near each other. They were in their own world again. It was like a powerful, intoxicating drug. They had only known this drug for a short time, but they were hooked at the first taste.

With a shaky breath, Kendall moved his hand from her waist upward to cup her cheek. The contact burned so much that it made his muscles ache. He was sure he must be a masochist because of the overwhelming love he felt for that sensation…for her.

Sage spoke quietly, taking the words out of his mouth.

"This isn't going to be a normal night, is it?" she asked, already knowing the answer. She leaned her entire body against his so they could feel the burning all over. It was so wrong and unconventional. She knew nothing about the boy holding her other than his age and favorite color, but she couldn't feel an ounce of apprehension when they touched.

"Nope," Kendall breathed out slowly and simply as he closed the distance between them, their lips connecting in one swift motion as if they were made to go together.

The shaking and burning they were both experiencing intensified tenfold. The feeling continued as their bodies melded together, and then it quickly calmed down to a tingling in their limbs. But, even as the kiss went on, the tugging remained strong in their chests. Their hearts were calling to each other, and they were doing what they could to answer.

Unlocking their hands, Sage moved hers up to rest on the back of Kendall's neck, using him to support her weight and lean into his soft lips even more. Kendall placed his hand on her lower back, tugging to get her even closer to him. It was impossible, but he couldn't fight the overwhelming need to try. Their lips danced together playfully, passionately, and happily; connecting like two of the most perfectly fitted puzzle pieces. No matter how you moved them, they matched up.

**Yup, exactly. You want to read more, so do it!**

* * *

_Chapter Eleven: New Year's_

Today was New Years' Eve.

Which meant tomorrow was the last day of vacation before Kendall would _really_ have to return to some normal life. He had been thinking about Stella constantly, hoping, praying that she was somewhere safe. His mind told him that she was alright, probably staying at the General Store until she found somewhere else to go. His mind told Kendall that Stella was smart, and was probably reading his letter under some sort of light, smiling at the true love he had put into it.

Kendall's heart told him otherwise.

He had mailed Stella's letter yesterday after coming home from the cemetery, and had been confronted by his mother the second he walked in the door. _Katie.  
_  
Apparently, the poor girl had been crying hysterically since Kendall left her in a fury of anger. Katie was upstairs in her room, as Kendall went up there, trying to apologize. No luck.

His Baby Sister didn't want any part of him. She was afraid of him. It brought her back to right after her father had died, and everything that Kendall had done to his own room, to their house out of pure anger and frustration. She would never forget the one time Kendall went as far to hit her. It took the girl **weeks** to trust him again, but eventually she did, knowing that her Big Brother would do nothing to purposely upset her.

Kendall had been trying to talk to Katie through her door, as she angrily yelled at him, and cried, telling him to leave her alone. The boy felt horrible about what he had done to his sister, but he didn't feel he could do much more at this point. He was going to have to wait to Katie to come to him.

But what if she didn't this time?

"Dude, you got popcorn all over me," Carlos exclaimed, as James shrugged, picking up the popcorn off the green sofa, and putting it back into the bowl. James had knocked it over in a fit of singing and dancing, which was not an uncommon occurrence when James was hopped up on soda and other sugary items.

It was around 11:45 PM on New Years Eve, snow coming down pretty intensely. The boys lazily sat in the back "recreational den" of Logan's house. The TV was smaller in here, but godforbid the boys had gotten **anything** on Mrs. Mitchell's white, plush couch in the living room (which was an almost guarantee with Carlos slopping down chocolate pudding) Logan would be **done** for.

The boys were used to staying back here with the big, comfy green couches and tan Berber carpet. They had no idea why Mrs. Mitchell would decorate her living room stark white, with a huge flat screen television and expensive glass coffee and end tables, if the only time anyone sat there was Logan if he had gotten in trouble by his grades, or in the evenings when Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell sat on the couch just enjoying each other's presence, which hadn't happened in some time.

Mrs. Kelly Mitchell was definitely a bit uptight at times, if not _all_ the time, even before the day she met John, Logan's father.

Kelly Freeman was born and had spent all her life in Duluth, Minnesota, not moving anywhere, staying in the same house all throughout college with her parents and sister Jillian. She attended Ronald Herbst Elementary, and Duluth Junior-Senior High School, where her son and his friends now walked the halls. Kelly was a silent, quiet, studious girl, who had a small, close knit group of friends, but never really talked to anyone else.

Until she met John Mitchell.

John Mitchell was definitely **the** Mr. Popular. He was a star on the Duluth Hawks ice hockey team and captain by sophomore year, even being "the new kid" freshmen year. John was friends with _everyone_ that crossed his path, showcasing that crooked smile, charming voice and soft raven hair. In John's younger days, Logan looked _exactly_ like his father, just get rid of the calculator and add a letterman jacket and there ya go.

Kelly Freeman had her dark brown eyes set on John Mitchell the second he had walked into her English class, the first day of freshmen year. The incredibly awkward looking, but potentially handsome John Mitchell had sat right next to her that first day, and with a simple "hi," all of Kelly's dreams had revolved around him, and only him.

Only a few months later, John decided to make the normally quiet, relatively unheard of Kelly Freeman his girlfriend. It was a different type of love though, not the usual honeymoon love teenagers swoon in after a few months dating. After nearly four years together, John went to the University of Minnesota, while Kelly went to a community college nearby, unsure of what she _really_ wanted in life. Although the two saw each other every weekend, and some days out of the week, they never were the ones' to run into each other's arms and kiss every time John got home, spending hours making out on the couch with no parents home. John and Kelly's relationship was more of a best friends kind of deal, even though the two were very committed and dedicated to one another.

After graduation from college, the two continued their romance for a few years, until finally, ten years had passed since John had asked her out after ice-hockey practice, that cold, chilly day in December.

The one thing that was so unreal about John Mitchell and Kelly Freeman's relationship was that even after _ten_ years together, they had never **once** had sex. Sure, they had gotten close to it a few times, but felt it shouldn't happen until they married. However, even two years out of college, Kelly and John hadn't even stressed the idea of marriage, even though it seemed to be inevitable.

Finally, after ten long years together, John Mitchell proposed to his long time girlfriend, and they tied to knot in a small, ceremony right in one of Duluth's finest catering halls, The Esquire.

Logan had heard of his parents legacy from _everyone_ in town, at least once in his life, even from teachers who when they called his name, asked if he was "Kelly and Johnny's" son. It bothered Logan at times, but it also made him realize that his parents had a longstanding bond that could never be broken, or at least that's what **he** got from their love legacy.

"I'm so stoked for the New Year. It's my goal to become famous this year. That's my resolution," James said proudly, taking a sip of his coke.

"A New Year's resolution is something you wanna _change_ about your life, James," Logan added in, taking a handful of popcorn from the table and shoveling it into his mouth.

"Well I wanna _change _being stuck in this town, and go out to California and be famous!" he exclaimed with a sing-song voice. Carlos rolled his eyes, knowing that James and Logan were going to have it out if this conversation continued.

"So, Kendall, did you mail your letter to Stella?" Carlos asked happily, trying to do anything to change the subject between James' arrogant attitude and Logan's logical brains.

Kendall sat on the edge of the couch, staring out the window at the snow that fell down harshly, as if it was in slow motion. He bit his bottom lip watching the nasty storm outside, his heart beating fast. It was bound to get even worse later, and he prayed to God that Stella was somewhere warm and somewhere safe.

Carlos got no answer. "Kendall?"

Kendall whipped his head around and looked at Carlos confused.

"What'd you say?" Kendall asked a bit jumpy. Carlos looked at the boy with a saddened heart. He could only imagine he was going through this New Year's without his father, and now with this added worry about the girl he loved.

"I asked if you sent your letter to Stella," Carlos repeated with a smile, as Kendall threw a piece of popcorn in his mouth. He nodded and bit his lower lip, his gaze going out the window again. Carlos sighed, as Logan rolled his eyes at James, who was singing along with one of the performers that was singing for the New Year's special.

"Hey Logan, you think your mom would let us pop out a bit of bubbly for the new year?" James asked with a chuckle, his voice tired of singing. Logan shrugged, doubting it but hey, it was worth a shot.

"I don't know, let me go ask her," he said getting up from the couch with a grunt. Logan made his way down the wood floored hallway and into the stainless steel kitchen where he saw his mother sitting there, with a glass of red wine, staring at the antique clock her father had given her and John as a housewarming present when they moved in here.

"Mom?" Logan asked gently, seeing as his mother was zoned out staring at the clock lazily. Logan sighed and furrowed his brow. It seemed as his mother was very distant lately, and also very…blah. She hadn't been as uptight as she used to be, and seemed to show no emotion.

"Mom?" Logan asked again, his mother snapping out of her trance, as she sighed deeply.

"Yeah, honey?" she asked blandly, looking down at the wine her glass, noticing it was near empty and getting up from the table to fill it again. Logan looked around the kitchen and noticed his dad wasn't anywhere in sight. He could hear his friends laughing about something in the other room, but miraculously, it didn't interrupt his thoughts.

"Where is dad?" Logan asked confused. John had barely spent any time with his son since Christmas, always working. It pained Logan a bit, since him and his fathers were incredibly close, almost as much as Kendall and his father had been. After Kristopher's death, Logan hadn't left his father's side for three days following the funeral.

Kelly poured a large quantity of wine her glass, corking the bottle violently before sighing, and turning to her son with a rehearsed, stoic voice and glazed brown eyes.

"He's out with some friends from the office for the New Year," Kelly said, taking a sip of the wine. Logan looked at his mother confused and shook off the feeling he got from her. She was more than likely just tired, and Logan felt bad about having the boys over.

"If you were tired mom, we could've just gone to Kendall's tonight," Logan said softly, fidgeting with his fingers nervously. Kelly let out a tiny laugh and sighed.

"No, sweetie it's fine. It's just been a long day," she whispered out under her breath, rubbing her forehead with her left hand, her beautiful engagement ring and wedding band shining in the light. Logan licked his lips and sighed.

"Uh, we were wondering if maybe we could do a champagne toast," Logan said a bit nervously, fearing his mother would immediately say no since the boys were underage. Kelly nodded, looking down as she traced the rim of her glass with her finger.

"It's in the fridge. Just not too much, okay?" Kelly said with a raised eyebrow as Logan nodded a bit surprised. He took the few steps over the fridge, opened it and took the bottle out. He then walked to the cabinet above the stove and took out four champagne flutes from the top cabinet, making sure not to use the elegant crystal ones that his parents had drank from at their wedding so many years ago.

Logan, with the bottle in one hand and the four champagne flutes in the other turned around, and stared at his mother who looked absolutely miserable. Logan didn't know what it was, but it was definitely something worse than just a bad day. However, Logan knew his mother wasn't the type to let everything out. He had only seen her cry on a few occasions, and never had she just cried for no reason, not in front of him at least.

He walked over to his mother, and leaned down and kissed her dark brown hair with a smile.

"I love you, mom," Logan said with the same crooked smile that his father graced. Kelly looked into her son's eyes, and licked her lips, tears welling up in her eyes. She tried her hardest not to blink, not wanting them to fall.

"I love you too, Logan," she said softly nodding, turning her head down as tears fell down her cheeks, and her son walked away cautiously and slowly.

Logan came back to his friends with the champagne and flutes, setting them down on the coffee table as James jumped at them.

"Awesome!" he exclaimed with a laugh, taking the bottle, lining up the flutes, and pouring the bubbly liquid in each of them without spilling a drop. James then picked one up, and handed it to an eager, smiling Carlos. He then handed one to Logan who received it with a smirk.

"Fancy," Logan chuckled out as James picked up the second to last one, and whistled at his sluggish, lethargic blonde friend at the end of the couch.

"Only ten minutes until the New Year!" Carlos echoed out, as they boys turned to the television to watch the signaling of the New Year. There was someone singing and dancing, and a lot of alcohol being passed around the brightly lit stage.

"K-Dawg. Look. Alcohol," James said with a chuckle, holding the flute out to him. But Kendall's gaze didn't move from the window, where the snow fell. His green eyes were stuck on the flakes falling from the sky.

Kendall took a deep breath in and closed his eyes tightly, the New Year special on the television haunting his mind.

xxxx

_**Last New Year's Eve**_Fifteen year old Kendall Knight sat in his living room couch, watching his father and Katie on their knees, under the sink, gather pots, pans, and spoons from the kitchen. It was 11:52, nearly eight minutes till the New Year.

"I don't see any more, daddy," Katie said confused, most of her body in the cabinet. Kris kneeled behind her and looked around at all the pots and pans they had collected, sure that his wife was going to kill him once she saw all of this. He sighed deeply and smiled.

"That's enough. We don't want to wake up the _entire_ neighborhood," he said with a chuckle, getting up with a grunt, and then leaning down to pick up the rest of the silver pots and black pans. "Get the spoons, Kates," he said, picking up the pots and bringing them into the living room, where Kendall shook his head and rolled his eyes with a small smile, flipping through the New Years' specials that were on.

Katie followed behind her father, as he laid down the pots and pans with a loud clank, and Katie threw the spoons on the table with a large smile on her face.

"You guys are **crazy** for goin' out there in this cold," Kendall chuckled entertained, trying to find a station that suited him. Katie's dropped a bit and she looked at her brother confused.

"What? You aren't going to come outside with us and bang pots to bring the New Year?" Katie asked a bit disappointed. Kendall looked at his father and sister with a scrunched up face and nodded his head no.

"I think I'm a bit old for **that**," Kendall said raising his eyebrows, motioning his chin to the pots, and then turning his head. Katie looked a bit disappointed, her brown eyes dropping and her smile fading as she looked at the pots on the table with sad eyes. Kris could tell.

"Come on, Kendall. It's a Knight family tradition. I've been doing this since _I _was a kid. Which is…well, a long time ago," Kris said laughing, as Katie rummaged through the pots quietly, picking one up. Kendall chuckled.

"Dad, it's like, two degrees out, **barely**. I'm not going out there to angrily wake up all the neighbors and get yelled at," he said, redirecting his eyes to the television, trying to find a suitable station. Kris furrowed his brow at his son, his direction turning to Katie who looked down at her feet a bit upset and then back up at her father.

"Daddy, maybe we should just…**not** do it this year," Katie spoke softly, her voice saddened and heavy. "Kendall's right…it's too cold outside," the small girl said shakily as if she were being forced at gunpoint to talk. Her eyes sagged, as she put down the spoon and pan she held back on the dining room table. Kris looked at his daughter confused, then back at Kendall who had been sitting on the couch for almost the entire night, his face plastered to the television. The boy didn't move.

"But it was cold last year too, Bunches," Kris said kneeling down, touching her soft brown hair, using the affectionate nickname he had gotten from her beautiful, honey brown eyes. "We do this every year! Come on! It's your _favorite_ part of the new year," Kris said animatedly, kissing her forehead lovingly, shaking her shoulders a bit to get her excited. Katie sighed and looked over at Kendall who still wasn't paying her any attention, her eyes losing their gleam as she shrugged miserably.

"I'm not really in the mood anymore," Katie spoke sadly. Kris frowned and sighed, as he dropped his hands from his daughter's shoulders. She quickly turned towards the stairs, walking away from her father, her breaths hitched.

"Kates, come back," Kris spoke softly and disappointed, as his daughter began to run up the stairs, whimpering the smallest amount. Kris sighed stood up, putting his own wooden spoon down and turned to see his son. Kendal was still unaffected, **finally** avidly watching one of Minnesota's New Years specials as he heard a door slam tightly.

"Kendall," Kris said in a fatherly, 'I gotta talk to you' voice. Kendall looked up at his father from the television as he approached the boy in what seemed like four giant strides.

"Sit up," Kris said authorative but lovingly, as Kendall did so confusedly. He sat up, his elbows rested on his thighs, taking quick peeks of the television. Kris sat next to him with a sigh, pushing his shorter bangs out of his face, something his son eventually picked up from habit.

"Listen, Kendall. I know that you are fifteen, and I know spending time with your little sister, banging pots and pans on New Year's isn't every fifteen year olds dream, but Katie is barely nine years old." Kendall looked confused as could be. "And a nine year olds dream on New Year's is to cause as **much** havoc and chaos as she possibly can," Kris said with a small chuckle at the end. Kendall smirked and sighed, sitting even more back on the couch, and resting his hands on his thighs, the remote tapping against his thigh in his left hand.

"I know, Dad. I didn't say _Katie _couldn't do it, I said _I_ didn't want to. She can do it all she wants. I'll cheer her on from inside the house," Kendall joked, obviously not catching onto his father's message, his eyes sneaking to the television between his words. Kris sighed, knitting his dark eyebrows together and looked down at Kendall with a knowing, straight smile. He picked the remote out of Kendall's hand swiftly, turned the TV off and rested it on the coffee table in front of him a bit angrily.

Kendall looked at him with a confused smirk, but his father's set jaw told the boy he was being serious. Kendall's face immediately softened and Kris sighed as he started again.

"That's my _point_, Kendall. Katie adores you, sport," he said smiling, using the nickname he had called Kendall constantly until this year. Kendall had said he was too old to have a nickname now, but he smiled at its use anyway. Kris continued.

"The best thing in the **world** for your sister is banging those pots with you on New Year's Eve. She lives for it," Kris said nodding and chuckling. Kendall was surprised, as he looked down at his fingers, a bit embarrassed and prideful of the revelation. He looked back up at his father, as they shared identical grins.

"Really?" he asked smiling. Kris nodded and cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, you betcha," he chuckled. "Didn't you see her face drop when you said you didn't want to? The poor thing was crushed," Kris said softly, Kendall's heart dropping into the depths of his stomach. He hadn't meant to make Katie upset.

"I guess—I didn't know how much it meant to her," Kendall said shamefully looking down, feeling as he should've known. Kris put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"It means **a lot** to her, Kendall," Kris said softly nodding his head. He sighed and got up from the couch, patting Kendall's shoulder in the process. "But hey, I'm not going to make your choices for you. I laid the puck out on the ice, it's up to you. Dump the puck, or rush the net," he said with a smirk, as Kendall rolled his eyes with a smile. Of course his dad had used hockey terms in serious situations. He always did.

"Okay, Dad," Kendall said with a smile, hitting his thighs emphatically and standing up abruptly. Kendall took a few steps across the living room to the stairs as his father smiled at him, watching his son walk up the stairs with a smile on his face.

At exactly 12:00 AM that morning, Kendall, Kris and Katie all stood outside on the Knight's front porch, hollering and whooping into the cold bitter air smacking their spoons and ladles against Kim's stainless steel pots and pans, like they had done every year.

They didn't know that it would be the last time...

xxxx

"Kendall?" James asked softly, putting the flute down on the coffee table. Kendall had his face buried in the couch, and he hadn't realized he was hysterically crying to himself, his breaths hitched, until James spoke. He wasn't home for New Year's eve this year. He wasn't banging pots and pan withs his father and sister. Why?

His father was dead, and his sister hated him.

All three boys looked at each other, Logan standing up, Carlos next to Kendall and James next to Carlos, and the back at their friend.

Kendall's back rose and fell with sobs, as the boys neared him absolutely clueless to what had happened.

James stood up and walked to Kendall's side, putting a hand on his back as Carlos and Logan watched in horror and confusion. James looked up at his best friends one more time before turning his attention to his best friend.

"What's wrong, buddy?" James asked softly, as Kendall shook his head in the couch, not wanting to lift it. He picked his head up, and tears covered his face, his green eyes vibrant as could be, but not in the way they were when he saw Stella.

Kendall swallowed hard, and looked at his friends with scared, soulful eyes. He stood up immediately, and pulled his jacket from the chair next to him, beginning to bundle himself up with shaking hands.

"Kendall, w-where are you going?" James asked confused, as the blonde boy didn't answer, but kept mumbling things under his breath, as he fastened his scarf around his neck.

"Dude, it's horrible outside. You can't walk home," Logan said confusedly and worriedly. Kendall looked at his three friends, eyes struck with tears as he cleared his throat.

"I have to go home, I-I have to bang pots and pans," Kendall spoke disoriented as he took quick strides across the room to the door. "I'll be fine, I promise." He opened the den door, and then shut it behind him as Logan, James and Carlos all looked at each other confused.

Kendall's breath was hitched and tight as he ran down Logan's street, the hard, icy snow impaling any of the exposed skin on his body. His cheeks were flushed red, tears escaping his eyes as he did his best not to lose his sights even with the blanket of snow falling from the sky. He needed to get home.

The road was virtually empty, cars and mail boxes all buried. The snow in the street looked orange at parts, due to the streetlights that illuminated onto it, as Kendall ran in the middle of the road, trying his hardest to be home before 12. It was like some scene out of a movie, as with each step he took, the boy grew more and more tired, and more and more desperate to get home.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Kendall saw his white house in the distance, the bright light of his living room shining in his green eyes like a prize.

"**Katie!**" he called loudly, short of breath. His muscles were beyond fatigued, but the boy couldn't help but keep running towards his house, his breaths labored and raspy, sounding if he was a fifty-five year old smoker.

"**KATIE!**" he called again, as he ran up the front steps of his porch, slipping on the ice and clutching to the door for support. He could see the large countdown clock on the TV through the window. He had about one minute left.

Kendall forcefully opened the front door, tracking snow in the house, and shutting it behind him. The warmth of the house made his cold, tired body seem on fire. Kim was in the living room with a glass of champagne, quietly reading a book on the couch when Kendall burst through the door like an animal.

"Sweetheart, what's going on?" Kim asked him confused, setting the flute down on the table beside her, and putting her book down. Kendall breathed like he had just run a 5K race. He ran into the kitchen, and kneeled down in front of the sink, getting a pot and a pan from underneath. He didn't bother to close to cabinet door, stealing a ladle and a serving spoon from the drawer to his left.

"**KATIE GET DOWN HERE NOW!**" Kendall yelled up to the ceiling, his voice cracking, still out of breath. Kim stood up and came over to him, resting her hands on his shoulders which rose violently with each breath.

"Kendall, I thought you were sleeping at Logan's, sweetheart. What's going on?" she asked confused, then realizing he had pots and pans in his hands. She looked down at his hands with a broken heart, looking up at him with sad, tired, blue eyes.

"I-I need Katie, mom. We-we have to-to…pots…and pans…the new year—like we always do," Kendall breathed out nervously, fast walking out of the kitchen to the foot of the stairs, looking back at the countdown on the TV which now was down to thirty seconds.

"**Katie!**" Kendall called again, his voice cracking from the cold, his face tomato red.

"Kendall…Katie's asleep," Kim told her son in a heartbroken whisper, standing behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Kendall swallowed hard, his breaths still hitched as his shoulders sagged. The grip on the pot, pan and spoon loosened as they slowly slid out of his hands, as the countdown came to its final ten seconds.

Kendall didn't know what to do.

He slowly fell to his knees and let out a cry, as Kim kneeled down quickly, throwing her arms around her frozen, broken son.

"She hates me, she hates me," Kendall cried into his hands, his entire body shaking from the extreme cold to warm heat, and the horrid disappointment he had gotten walking through the door.

"No she doesn't baby. She loves you," Kim spoke softly, Kendall turning around into her arms, as she kissed his forehead and hair.

The countdown on the TV ended with a large "Happy New Year" from all of the performers and dancers and TV personalities on the program, as people kissing came up on screen.

Kendall lay in his mother's arms, clutching to her tightly as tears fell from her eyes, not his.

"It'll all be better soon, Kenny. I promise," she cracked out, her voice weak. Kendall nodded in her chest, his body shaking.

Damn. He hoped she was right.

* * *

Stella clutched her tattered black scarf to her chest, her blue sweater peeking out from underneath it. Her black boots, which were barely held together by the seams, were soaked with the dirty slush that covered the downtown streets of Cumberland, Wisconsin.

She didn't even know how she had gotten here. She had whimsically gotten on the bus in Thief River Falls, and fallen asleep in the bus depot that night, wherever the bus had bothered to stop. Truthfully, she didn't really care where she was going at this point. She just needed to start over, again. In every sense of the word.

Which meant no thoughts of Kendall Knight.

As she took small, cautious steps down the slushy sidewalk in Cumberland, she noticed it wasn't much different than from that of Thief River Falls. She was on some sort of substitute for a Main Street, and there were small shops for snow gear, snowmobile rides among bars and fancy restaurants decorating each side of the road. It didn't look as ritzy though, and Stella could tell she wasn't going to find some vacant mansion this time around.

She walked straight, her blonde hair blowing behind her as she passed countless couples, mothers with small, sleepy children and obvious tourists, all bundled up in the cold chill of the night. Stella noticed a lot of them were wearing nice clothes, almost all of them in fact. She looked down at her horribly tattered blue sweater, torn jacket and worn out jeans which were going to have to be replaced whenever she got the chance.

Stella stopped abruptly and reached down into her pocket, fishing around to see how much cash she had left. She was absolutely **starving**, seeing as she hadn't even remembered the last time she ate. She took a twenty out of her pocket, part of her last pay from the General Store and looked up at the bar/restaurant in front of her. It was called "Shackles". It was obviously a bit crowded from all the noise, and shadows of people she could see inside. Stella looked at the window and saw a large neon sign boasting "_**2 for 1 drink specials, Ladies Drink Free, New Year's Special!" **_the words drawn in block letters, pretty poorly.

"New Year's," Stella whispered out to herself, finally realizing why this strip was so busy. She wondered how long it was until the New Year, seeing as she didn't have a clock, and she couldn't tell by the dark. It had been pitch black for a few hours.

A chill of cold air shot through her body, as she shrugged, and entered the restaurant. The door sounded with a small chime, as it did in the General Store, and Stella' mind instantly went to Kendall. She shook her head of it frustrated, shrugging him off as she walked through a few people, and entered the absolutely insanely crowded restaurant. About five flat screen TV's had on the same New Year's special from Madison, Wisconsin, people loudly chattering with "Happy New Year" glasses, paper hats and party hats on.

Stella presumed half of them were already wasted, and the half that weren't were definitely on their way. Stella sighed and pushed her way through the people who were all high fiving and chuckling, beers and champagne flutes in their hands. They wore fancier clothes, men with blazers, women in sequin tops. Stella approached the podium where a tiny brunette girl who couldn't be over the age of twenty smiled brightly up at her.

"Happy New Year, Welcome to Shackles! Are you alone?" she said to Stella, holding a menu in her hand as if she already knew.

Stella paused for a second, closing her eyes and then nodding as if it was the answer to her death. The hostess smiled and motioned Stella to follow her through the crowd of people as they made their way to the back of the restaurant where a few families with younger children and some older couples sat enjoying dinner.

She sat down at one of the tables, still able to clearly see the crowd of people huddled around the bar area. She tapped her fingers on the table anxious as the hostess smiled.

"Enjoy your New Year miss," she said, placing the menu in front of Stella and turning away on her heels, happy as could be. Stella looked down at the menu in front of her and opened it with a sigh. She really hoped she could get some type of cheap food here. Maybe a five dollar burger or something of that nature.

As her eyes scanned the menu, she couldn't help but occasionally glance up at the crowd of people whooping and hollering. They seemed to be living the life. Carefree, as many drinks as they wanted, their arms around their significant other. Stella sighed and swallowed hard as the group began to count down. Was it really that close to midnight already?

_Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen…_

Stella stood up from her table and cautiously went over to the group, kind of anxious to see what their kind of New Year's celebration was all about. She had always lost count of the New Year, her only guidance last year was when she spent it working at the General Store.

_Fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven…_

Stella found a place in the back crowd, behind a blonde man and blonde woman each with a beer in their hands, looking up at the television set, which had the large yellow numbers bursting out at the screen with a loud boom. The entire restaurant had joined in the countdown, and Stella looked around, quite curious if she should too.

_Seven, six, five, four…_

The crowd began to get louder, and she smiled widely at the excitement that began to course through her veins. Maybe this could be a good year, one that would promise her more than any other year she had encountered so far. This could be **her **year.

_Three, two, one, __**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**_

Noisemakers went off, champagne was popped and confetti seemed as it fell from the sky, as Stella looked up at the small glitter that had fallen on her shirt. She smiled and chuckled, and looked around at the all the people who were all excitedly interacting.

However, Stella's heart dropped when the tall, blonde man and petite blonde woman in front of her caught each other's lips in a passionate lip lock. Stella watched as their lips fell right into place, one hand on her waist, the other under hair, as she threw her arms around him, hugging him tight to her. It looked as if they had been waiting _all night_ to finally kiss like that, like they were thirsting for each other.

And then, Kendall Knight seemed to be the **only** thing on her mind.


	12. Simplicity

**A/N: Hey guys! Here is another chapter of Hooked! I hope you enjoy everything! I really like this chapter, and I have a feelin next chapter is gonna be LOTS of Stella, so be excited :D  
This chapter is dedicated to _waterwicca, _because she is amazing. If you haven't already read her story Past The Sorrow, about Kendall Knight and Sage Henderson, you MUST. Here is a tiny little snippet from CH4:**

"Before the last 24 hours, I thought I knew what my life was and how it was going to be… except, now, I'm not sure of anything… but, I do know one thing without a doubt…" Sage paused, taking a deep breath and moving closer to him.

"What is it?" he spoke with expectant eyes and quick breaths.

"It's crazy," Sage warned with a shake of her head before looking him in the eyes again.

"What isn't lately?" Kendall asked rhetorically. He squeezed her hand for reassurance.

He waited relatively patiently for her to continue, feeling like he already knew in his heart what she would say, but still anticipated it like a child did Christmas morning.

Sage leaned forward, connecting their lips in a delicate kiss that Kendall returned gently until she leaned back.

"I love you," she spoke with a relieved smile, glad she was able to speak the words she hadn't said since her mother died years ago. Sage was pleased to find that it came easier for her than she thought it would be.

It seemed natural to love Kendall Knight.

He reached up to touch the side of her face. His hands could never seem to get enough of her. His smile was wide and ecstatic. He felt anxious and relaxed at the same time, but even the most confusing feelings felt right around Sage.

"I love you too," Kendall spoke with as much sincerity as Sage had.

Without waiting another moment, they propelled themselves forward, connecting their lips. Sage's tongue instantly found his as she moved to lean on her knees. It only took a second before she threw her leg over him so that she was straddling his lap.

Kendall pulled her against him while their tongues playfully battled for dominance, the kiss turning more feverish than ever before. Sage's left hand found his upper arm, pushing up the sleeve of his shirt to make skin contact with his strong bicep. Her other hand clutched the back of his neck, tugging on his hair gently, only making him hold her tighter.

He had one hand on Sage's hip while the other pressed into her lower back. He touched the hot, exposed skin between her jeans and shirt, pushing underneath the fabric slightly so that his whole hand burned. Both of them moved their hips instinctively against one another as they tried to deepen the kiss even more, only pulling away when they finally gave into their lungs' demands for oxygen.

Both teenagers stayed still, trying to make their breathing return to normal while continuing to clutch one another tightly. They lay their foreheads against each other's, waiting for their minds to clear.

Being together was like tunnel vision… Only the two of them mattered, and the rest was just background noise.

**Yeah. So You have to read. You also have to read so-complicated's new story, Something To Sleep To. She is brand new to the fandom, and this is a brand new story, so PLEASE give her a warm welcome. I tell you, her story is definitely promising, for everyone in this community ;D**

**I don't own anything except for my OC's, Stella, the Treggers and Stephanie Carter ;D**

* * *

_Chapter Twelve: Simplicity_

"Hi, Kendall."

Kendall whipped around feverishly from where he stood at his locker to see Stephanie Carter standing next to him. He took his Calculus book from the top shelf and closed it, as Stephanie sweetly smiled at him.

"Oh. Hi Stephanie," he said with a small, forced smile on his face.

It was the first day back for all the kids in the Duluth School District, and while most of them were readjusting to the New Year pretty well, Kendall _definitely _was not. Since walking into the doors at 7:55 this morning, schoolwork was only added to the laundry list of emotional baggage Kendall was carrying around. Between Katie **still** not talking to him, his mother's own emotional stress, the fact that he had his first therapy session after school today, _and_ that he was awaiting Stella's letter all took an enormous toll on the sixteen year olds mind.

And now, he had to go to…Calculus.

"How was your vacation?" she asked politely, her sweet voice ringing in his ears.

It seemed like a simple, gracious, usual question that friends asked each other after an extended break. But to Kendall it was so much more. What hadn't happened to him over this vacation? He had been emotionally exhausted, fallen in love, lost his virginity, beat the shit out of someone he didn't even know….and the list went on. Kendall smirked a bit at the fact that this really was a New Year for him.

"It was…good," he said, finally settling on a word. How about yours?" he asked her, fastening his books under his arm.

Stephanie looked up into his green eyes and instantly got lost as always. Stephanie Carter was in Kendall's history and English class, and she had been irrevocably in love with him for the past two years. Even when he didn't have his beautiful, swept bang hair cut, and wasn't as jacked from hockey as he was now, Stephanie had always fawned over him, starting in eighth grade when he had stood up for her during recess. Some kids were making fun of her for the new metal on her mouth, when Kendall, who was still a Shorty at the time, had defended the small, gawky little brunette with his words, not his fists.

Only recently had Kendall began to show the littlest bit of interest in her. They had always talked and had been close friends, but since school had started, and Stephanie had lost the braces and the glasses, his eyes began to open up a bit. Sometimes, he would carry her books to class if they walked together, and a few times during lunch when James was busy singing, Carlos absent, and Logan studying in the library, they would eat together. Stephanie was thrilled at this, and Kendall _had_ to admit, he had begun to have the tiniest bit of feelings for the bubbly brunette who always seemed to make him laugh.

Stephanie smiled at him, clutching her notebook and folder to her chest, biting her red glossed lower lip with a smile that seemed unable to be held back by anything.

"It was nice," she said simply, looking down at her boots and then back up at boy. She noticed the look in Kendall's eyes. It was translucent. It was as if she was invisible.

"So, remember how you said you maybe…wanted to go to the movies or something one weekend?" Stephanie said nervously, following a deep, breath of courage.

It was only then Kendall had realized what was happening, and why Stephanie looked so tense. His face dropped and so did his heart. He had _totally_ forgotten _all_ about Stephanie Carter, as well as everything else, the second he had seen Stella on that balcony.

It wasn't like the two were "exclusively texting", or he was bawling out his feelings to her. It was an innocent date that Kendall had proposed a few weeks before Christmas. He knew Stephanie had liked him for a long time, and he figured he'd give it a shot seeing as how they were talking more this year. He had never really been out on an actual date before, except once with Chrissy Jenkins. He thought it could be fun, seeing as he he'd never really had a normal relationship before. When he had told the guys, they all thought it would be a good idea, especially James who saw Stephanie's now good looks as the only **real** reason to go of course.

"Uh—yeah," Kendall said a bit nervously, scratching the back of his neck. He tried not to let his smile and eyes drop with uncertainty and guilt, but he couldn't help it.

Stephanie noticed instantly. After studying the once gawky, now chiseled and undeniably handsome face of Kendall Knight, for so many years, Stephanie read all his facial expressions like the back of her hand.

"I-I was just—I-I was wondering i-if maybe you wanted to go t-this weekend," Stephanie stumbled out, merely as a comment. She been able to keep her cool around Kendall the past two years, but now, acknowledging the fact that she liked Kendall to his face made her weak at the knees.

It wasn't a question. Why bother asking if she knew he was going to say no? Kendall's heart hurt him. He didn't want to upset Stephanie, especially when it was **him** who suggested the date in the first place.

But then, there was Stella. Beautiful, perfect, amazing Stella. Kendall couldn't imagine _ever_ acting romantic towards anyone but her ever again possibly. Stephanie didn't have Stella's bright blue eyes, or soft blonde hair, or pursed pink lips. Stephanie was just…Stephanie.

He was stuck.

_RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG._Saved by the Bell.

Kendall looked at Stephanie with sad green eyes, as the brunettes large brown ones dropped the floor embarrassed and upset. She had been shot down, hadn't she? The poor girl had looked especially nice today too, hoping that maybe it would seal the deal for a date on Friday night with **the **Kendall Knight.

"Listen, can I text you or something later?" Kendall said uncontrollably with a goofy smile on his face. "I can't be late for Calc again," he chuckled out nervously, holding his books up with a nervous chuckle. He figured he could leave her hanging until he decided what to do about this mess. Great. **Another **thing to be stressed over this week. Stephanie looked up at him with a small smile, as if a light was bursting through her face. Well, he hadn't said no, right?

"Yeah. Sure, Kendall," she said with a smile and giddy voice. She allowed her brown eyes to linger on him once more, as she turned around on her heel and walked the opposite way. The boy took a deep breath and sighed, shaking his head, pushing his fingers through his hair nervously.

Kendall Knight couldn't_ bear_ to let down **another** person in his life.

* * *

"Dude, how can you **NOT **believe in aliens?" Carlos asked Logan, his mouth still full of corndogs. Logan chuckled, and took his nose from his book, looking at his foolish best friend with a smirk.

"First of all, eat with your mouth closed," Logan said. "And second of all, aliens are not real, Carlos. There is no scientific proof that there is anything but water and _maybe_ some weird plant life on other planets," Logan stated logically, as if he were reading it straight of a textbook.

"Well then how do you explain all those weird rocks in England?" Carlos shot back with a confused grin, and a coy smile. Logan cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Stonehenge?" Logan asked with a small chuckle. Carlos nodded his head confused, not even knowing they had a name, and picked up his milk to take a sip.

"Well, scientists and historians believe that due to recent archaeological findings that—" but Logan was cut off by Carlos who was coughing up his milk obnoxiously, perhaps on purpose to get the smart boy to stop talking.

Logan sighed and shook his head and continued reading his book with an entertained smile on his face. James was looking over his fresh, new sheet music he had gotten from Mr. Gregory, the music teacher at Duluth, and Kendall sat there leaning lazily on his arm, poking at the potato chips he had for lunch.

The four boys sat at their normal, circular, maroon and yellow lunch table, as the noisy lunchroom patrons of Duluth High School's all four grades scattered all around them. Duluth High wasn't too much like other high schools, or the ones you see in the movies. The football players didn't hang out with _just_ the football players, the cheerleaders weren't as cliquey as you'd think, and the nerds…well, they usually _did _hang out with the nerds, but that was the only real stereotype. Carlos, Kendall, Logan and James were friendly with a large percentage of the student body in Duluth High, which had made their high school experience all the more enjoyable the past year and a half.

James picked his head up from his music, a carrot between his pearly white teeth when his eyes caught Kendall's. The boy's eyes a were translucent, murky green, his brows in a sad, pathetic position, and he was chewing on his lower lip, deciding just which potato chip he should pick. He hadn't said a word all lunch period.

"Kendall," James said. Kendall lazily directed his up head towards James', no expression on his face whatsoever.

"Yeah?" he asked his friend.

James looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "You okay, man?"

Kendall sighed and shrugged, his eyes going back down to his food. He hadn't gotten a free moment all day to think, and now with lunchtime, all he was doing was thinking. He was thinking about how Katie still wouldn't talk to him, how he hadn't gotten any word back from Stella, and how his first therapy session was after school today. And coming along with the added stress of course was finding out a way to totally crush a beautiful, innocent girl's heart.

Logan put his book down in concern and looked at his blonde friend with a small sympathetic frown. Logan could tell Kendall hadn't been the same since coming back from vacation. I mean besides the anger issues returning, even though the boys had had that nice talk at Mr. Knight's grave about Stella, and Kendall's anger, things _still _weren't right. Kendall still wasn't back to his normal self yet, and it showed in everything the boy did.

"Got a lot of stuff on my mind," Kendall said miserably with a deep sigh, finally choosing a potato chip and crunching on it loudly.

James, Carlos and Logan all exchanged sad, confused looks and then stared back at the boy. Logan closed his book, James put down his sheet music, and Carlos pushed his lunch aside a bit. They had figured going back to school might put Kendall back in his place as easy going, carefree hockey player whose smile could light up a room.

Not so much.

"Like what?" Carlos asked intently, his eyes shifting over to his unfinished sandwich. Kendall looked at the boy with sad, upset eyes.

It was a whole bunch of things, which the guys did know but probably had forgotten in the midst of their own lives. Kendall knew that telling his friends about _all_ his ailments might not be the best thing right now, and might just get him even **more** worried. However, maybe they knew what to do about this whole Stephanie Carter situation.

"Well, you guys remember how I was kind talking about taking Stephanie Carter out on a date a few weeks back?" Kendall asked his friends with a small, concerned smile. The boys nodded and James raised his eyebrows with a smirk.

"Oh yeah,** I** remember," he added with a sly comment. Kendall rolled his eyes playfully and looked down, picking his fingernails nervously.

"She, uh, kinda asked me if I wanted to go to the movies this weekend, and I-I don't know what to tell her," Kendall said, his gaze returning to his friends. James chuckled a bit confused, Logan looked a bit confused as well but didn't show it as much, and Carlos' face looked full of tension.

"Uh…how about 'Yes. I'd love to go to the movies with you, you beautiful, sexy girl?'" James said with confidence, as if it was the most obvious choice and **only** answer. Kendall looked at James with a confused face, knowing his best friend obviously didn't get it.

"Didn't you kinda have a thing for Stephanie a few weeks back?" Logan asked intently, unscrewing the cap off of his water bottle and taking a large gulp. Kendall nodded shamefully, as if it was some kind of horrid act to like Stephanie Carter.

"I **can't** go out on a date with another girl guys, I'm in love with someone else," Kendall said softly, as Carlos nodded, being the only one of the three to truly understand **who** Kendall was talking about. James rolled his eyes which Kendall caught onto but ignored, and Logan just seemed confused.

"Did **you** propose the idea before break?" Logan asked. Kendall nodded and the smart boy sighed and made a sympathetic face. "That's a tough one, Kendall," Logan said leaning back in his chair.

Kendall sighed and ran his hands through his hair with a sigh. "I just don't know how to let her down easy. I mean, I-I can't go out on a date, and pretend to still feel something with her, when I have Stella," Kendall said miserably.

"Well, do you really _have_ Stella?" Logan asked, regretting the question the second it came from his mouth. Kendall turned to him with wide, green eyes.

"What's **that** supposed to mean?" he snapped back at the smart boy with a menacing expression. Carlos and James looked at Logan with somewhat angry, disapproving, 'You just stepped into your grave' looks. Logan swallowed hard.

"I-I mean I-I just I-I didn't k-know—" Logan stumbled nervous as Kendall glared daggers at him.

"It's not like you'd be really going on a _date_ Kendall. I mean, you can just hang out with Stephanie as a friend and catch a movie. You don't need to like kiss her, or anything like that," Carlos said encouragingly. Kendall sighed heavily and James' eyes lit up.

"What about if I took Amy Gellerman out and we went on sort of a double date. You know, as friends?" James asked Kendall with a smile, trying anyway to get to the boy to budge. Kendall sighed.

"I don't know guys, I just, I don't want to let her down, especially since _I'm_ the one who said it in the first place," Kendall spoke softly and miserably. "But then there's Stella."

All three boys looked at each other with unsure faces. They understood that Kendall loved Stella, and had tried to support him the past few days he had been back, knowing the consequences if they didn't. But to have a relationship over letters? The boys had all seemed to silently agree that maybe Stella and Kendall, while in this "love", weren't going to last for each of their own reasons. When would be the next time she'd see him? And also, while most likely a sweet girl, she had been abused, had no family and no love. The boys had to be honest, she was pretty messed up from what Kendall told them, though they'd never **dare** tell him that. They'd do everything possible to make Kendall feel better, but truthfully, while trying their best, it was very, _very _hard for the boys' to truly believe in Stella and Kendall's love. They had all begun to take separate, persuasive ways to get him to stop thinking of Stella **all the time**.

"It's not like you're married to Stella, Kendall. And it's not like you're going to fall head over heels for Stephanie either. You're just making a promise to a friend," Carlos spoke softly. Logan nodded, having been quiet since his comment earlier.

"I guess," Kendall muttered out, scratching the back of his neck.

"And from what you've told us, I don't think Stella would mind you keeping a promise to a sweet girl. She knows you wouldn't do anything, and so do we," Logan spoke softly, trying to make-up for his comment. Kendall smiled softly at the boy and James interjected.

"I'm telling you. We'll double. I don't even like Amy _that_ much, so it will really be just like a friends' sorta thing. And I know she's friends with Stephanie, so it all works out," he said with a bright smile.

Kendall turned to Carlos and the boy shrugged. "You're not the kinda guy that doesn't keep promises, Kendall," he said softly. Kendall closed his green eyes tightly.

_"When is the next time I am going to be able to see you, Kendall Knight?" she said gently, looking down at their hands, and how absolutely delicious the warmth that radiated from his was. Kendall sighed and gave Stella small smile._

_"I'll be up here again soon. I'll find a way. I promise you," he said sincerely, staring straight into her eyes. Stella nodded and stood straight up, taking Kendall with her, unexpectedly. The two lovers stood up, tight to one another as she Stella took him in her arms, and hugged his thin, slim body to her tightly, nuzzling her face in his warm, blue cardigan._His eyes shot open after a few seconds and he bit his lower lip, looking up at James.

"You guys think I should go?" he asked them, already knowing the answer. The three boys nodded and Kendall sighed, nodding his head and sitting up straight in his chair.

"Alright."

* * *

"So Kendall, how does that make you _feel_?"

The question every therapist seems to ask during the first session. Kendall Knight sat on the uncomfortable, leather sofa that Dr. Givens had in her office, Kim next to him holding his hand tightly. Kendall swallowed hard.

"Angry," he said with an attitude. Wasn't she supposed to _know_ all of this?

Kendall sighed and sat back on the couch, as his mother gently rubbed his hand, trying to calm him down a bit. Dr. Given's office wasn't welcoming. It had dark, cherry wood paneled wood walls, black leather couches, and horrible fake plants scattered around. The lighting was horribly dim, and there were only two small windows in the office, giving Kendall _some_ fresh air.

"Kendall, be nice," Kim whispered softly with an upset, fearful face as Dr. Givens wrote something down on the pad in front of her.

Dr. Janelle Givens had dark, straight black hair, piercing green emerald eyes covered by a pair of thick, black rimmed plastic glasses and a milky white complexion. She was tall, slim and could easily portray the sexy villainess in any of her male patient's wet dreams. Kendall was _less_ than pleased with her since he had met her ten minutes ago.

"Well, why do you think you feel so "angry" about your father's death? Why "angry"? Why not "frustrated" or "sad" or "annoyed"?" she asked in her sweet, almost mocking tone of voice. Kendall bit his lower lip and looked at his mom with soulful green eyes, pleading her not to have to do this. Why was he here? He had expected therapy to be rough, but not this bad.

"I don't know. I'm just angry. He didn't deserve to die," Kendall responded with a bit of waver in his voice. Kim held his hand tighter, tears near coming to her own eyes as Kendall squeezed her hand back.

Dr. Givens nodded and wrote something else down as she looked up at the broken boy and his mother.

"Can you tell me exactly how you acted the two months following the accident?" she asked.

Kendall swallowed hard and hung his head, squeezing his mother's hand. He didn't want to answer this question at all. His own behavior had been so horrible those two months, and Kendall _never_ wanted to relive it.

"I was a mess," he stated simply. Dr. Givens uncrossed, and re-crossed her legs the opposite way and gave him a questioning look, raising one, perfectly groomed black eyebrow.

"How so?" she asked. Kendall sighed and shifted uncomfortably on the couch, the leather squeaking a bit as Kim held onto his hand gently. Kendall didn't speak, his head still hung as he cleared his throat.

"I broke things, I yelled at people, I wouldn't come out of my room. I was so mad at everything that had happened, and I took it out on everyone and everything," he said softly, taking a deep breath.

"And why do you think you were acting out so much?" she asked with a cold, unfeeling cold of voice. Kendall's head which was hung, immediately sprung up and he looked her in the eye, his green eyes alit with fire, his breathing starting to hitch.

"Why do **you **think I was acting out so much? My father was killed," Kendall said gruffly with anger in his voice. Kim squeezed her son's hand, but he hit it away gently as Dr. Givens looked at him with comforting smile.

"I know, Kendall. And I understand that you are still angry about it, but what we are trying to do with these sessions is figure out _why. Why _do you get so angry? _Why _do you do things that are beyond your control? I want to help you," she said, reaching over and laying a hand on his thigh.

"Don't touch me," he said through a clenched jaw. Dr. Givens slowly took her hand away with a disapproving face on.

"Okay. I understand," she said nodding her head, writing away on her notebook pad as Kendall let out a small chuckle out of pure anger, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You…you understand? You understand?" Kendall said, his breathing heavy, his fists clenching. "Listen, I'm sorry lady, but you don't understand _shit_," he said. Kim took Kendall by the arm, and rubbed it gently, trying to get him to calm down.

"Kendall, stop it, just take a few deep breaths," Kim said worriedly in her son's ear, her heart beating fast. Kendall bit his lip and shook his head at Dr. Givens, turning to his mother.

"She 'understands' mom. She **gets** me. She gets the hell we went through after dad died. She gets the hell I go through every single day," Kendall yelled quietly at the doctor, as Dr. Givens face started to change from know it all psych to nervous doctor.

"Kendall, I didn't mean I understand what you are going through. I meant that I understand that you are angry right now, and that you don't want to talk about these things, and that's okay. It's alright. It's only the first session. We're not going to make a breakthrough in the first session," Dr. Givens said softly, talking to both Kendall and Kim.

Dr. Givens sat back in her chair, putting her notepad beside her and smiled at the mother-son team who sat there in silence, Kendall trying to calm himself down. All was silent for a few moments before she finally spoke again.

"You know what, why don't we spend the rest of the twenty minutes getting to know each other," Dr. Givens said with a small smile, Kendall looking at her with hatred, but hoping that maybe this would be a bit better then talking about his father. There were only twenty minutes left, what could go wrong that hadn't already?

"Fine," he said stoically. Dr. Givens smiled.

"So, do you go to Duluth High?" she asked with a more warm, friendly but obviously fake smile. Kendall nodded and she smiled.

"I went there too. I played volleyball and field hockey. You play any sports?" she asked. Kendall nodded as Kim squeezed his hand tightly. "Hockey," he said in a small, timid voice, clearing his throat.

"That's cool. You have a lot of friends on the team?" she asked, re-crossing her legs and smiling, clasping her hands in front of her. Kendall nodded and ran his hand through his hair, slowly taking his other hand from his mothers.

"Yeah. I'm friends with all the guys, but my three best friends are on the team," he said gruffly.

"Well that's good. What are their names?" she asked politely. Kendall sat back a bit on the sofa and cracked his neck a bit, trying to get a bit more comfortable.

"Uh, James, Carlos and Logan," he said softly, with a small smile. Dr. Givens instantly found the boy's comfort zone and decided to stick with it, hoping she'd get at least some clue unto what lie underneath the walls Kendall Knight put up.

"Can you tell me about them? You seem pretty happy to talk about them," she said with a smile. Kendall sat forward, leaning his forearms on his thighs, Kim smiling a bit, a hand going to her son's shoulder, holding it tightly.

"Well Logan is really smart. Probably the smartest in the grade. And he's really logical when it comes to me and the rest of the guys doing crazy stuff. He's also really close to his father," Kendall said. Dr. Givens nodded and smiled.

"And Carlos and James?" she asked.

Kendall licked his lips with a small smile. "Carlos…well, Carlos is hyperactive. He's always energetic, always up to try new things, and he seems to never be upset. And when he is, it's usually something to do with his mother and father. They're divorced," Kendall spoke softly. He had no idea why he was telling this cold hearted, stranger about his best friends, but he figured the more he told about them, the less focus was on him.

"And James. James is a born performer. He sings, dances, acts, you name it. He's really popular with all the girls in the school too. He's had a lot of…girlfriends," Kendall said, making sure to not oust James' rapidly increasing sexual activity to his mother.

"Well they sound like great best friends," Dr. Givens said with a smile. Kendall nodded and gave her a bit of a smile, nodding his head.

"They're like brothers to me," Kendall said slowly with concentration, nodding his head. Dr. Givens smiled, for the millionth time in the last minute or so as Kendall took a deep sigh.

"So Kendall, do you have a girlfriend?" Dr. Givens asked with a smirk, her soft voice starting to soothe Kendall's ears. It was like he was being taken over or something. Kendall's face lit up a bit with the question and he chuckled, closing his eyes and getting lost in the vision of beautiful, amazing Stella.

"Yes, I do," he mumbled out, between barely open lips, eyes still closed.

Then he felt a squeeze on his shoulder.

Shit. He had forgotten his mother was here.

"You—you have a girlfriend?" Kim asked her son with a soft, prideful, surprised whisper.

Kendall licked his lips, his heart beating across his ribcage. He looked at Dr. Givens, who seemed to be content with his response, as if she had gotten something out of him that would help her. Maybe this therapist was some kind of witch, who had made Kendall admit to his girlfriend, because quite frankly, Kendall didn't want to tell this bitch anything. How had she even gotten responses about Carlos, James and Logan out of him?

Kendall turned to his mother, with a nervous, blushing grin, his green eyes pleading with her blue ones to drop it. Kim understood and nodded with a small smile on her face, as she touched the nape of Kendall's neck affectionately.

About thirty or so questions later, none about his girlfriend of course, Kendall's first therapy session was over, and God, he had never wanted to get out of somewhere so bad in his entire life.

The second Kendall had stepped out of Dr. Given's office into the hallway of the medical plaza she was in, Kim smirked at her son, jingling her car keys in her hand. They walked down the carpeted, wood paneled hallway and Kim sighed.

"Sweetie, you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend," Kim said excitedly turning to look at her son.

Kendall had his hands stuffed into his pockets, his head down as he watched his converse take each step with his feet. He knew this was going to come up after the explosive therapy session he just endured, he just figured maybe his mother would wait a bit to bring it up. But no, of course not. It was actually better this than talking about how he basically cursed out his therapist, which Kim had basically ignored.

Dr. Givens had told her to have Kendall focus more on the good, than the bad. They had a quick talk in her office privately as Kendall stayed in the waiting room, which was even smaller and less comfortable than the actual office. Dr. Givens told Kim that an outburst like that was normal, especially since Kendall's anger had been known to be intense, and then immediately die down within the matter of seconds.

"Well I-I kinda do," Kendall said with a small smile on his face, and a slight chuckle in his voice.

"Who is she, baby? Tell me," Kim said excitedly, wrapping an arm around her son's waist, and nestling into him. Kendall surprisingly responded with a small smile, taking in his mother's warmth and auburn hair as he swallowed hard. His eyes got wide and he silently cursed himself for a moment.

He couldn't tell his mom he was dating "Kacey". First of all, if he did, he knew his mother would be on the phone calling Jenny Tregger asking her about the beautiful blonde, and that Jenny would have no answers. Stella's house wasn't there for her anymore, and Kendall had no idea where she was staying. He just prayed that she had gotten his letter, and that maybe hers was on its way to him now.

Second of all, he had already texted Stephanie and told her about going to the movies this Friday night, and it's not like Kendall could tell his mother he had a girlfriend up in Thief River Falls, and then go out on a date with a bubbly brunette at the end of the week.

"S-Stephanie Carter," Kendall whispered out softly, shutting his eyes tightly and cursing himself even more.

It hurt to lie, but it was either lie, or tell his mother he was in love with a runaway, the latter _not_ being an option. It hurt even **more** to say that Stephanie was his girlfriend when clearly they were just friends, and that Stella seemed like she ceased to exist lately. Stella was more than just Kendall's girlfriend. Stella was the love of Kendall Knight's life.

"Is she cute?" Kim asked with a smile, hugging her son even closer as they continued their trek down the never ending hallway.

Kendall licked his lips, wishing he was talking about Stella to his mother. He honestly would love to. He'd love to tell his mother all about how amazing she was, how she made him feel, how he understood what his mother had experienced with his father, but he couldn't.

"Yeah. I guess," Kendall said, trying to act as enthused as possible, seeing as how he had just told his mother he had a girlfriend that he barely wanted to go out with in the first place.

Kim chuckled as they came to the elevator, and Kim pressed the down button turning to Kendall with a smile.

"So when do I get to meet her?" Kim asked with a smile as they waited for the elevator to reach their floor, hoping it would excite Kendall and get him to talk, something she had been trying to work on since she noticed his anger nearly a year ago.

"Ma, it's kinda—new. I mean, she's not really my 'girlfriend' yet, but I'm going out with her on Friday night," Kendall said nervously, trying in any shape or form to further degrade Stephanie's title of "girlfriend".

"Oh," Kim said softly, her eyes going to the floor as the elevator opened. Mother and son walked in, Kim pressing the Lobby button as the doors closed in front of them.

"Well, I hope you have a good time then," Kim said with a small smile, looking up at her son brightly, holding his arm tightly. Kendall nodded, and took a deep breath closing his eyes as they made their descent down to the real world.

* * *

"Why you lookin' so glum K-Dawg? Aren't you excited for this date tonight?" James asked his best friend, looking in the mirror with a smile fixing the collar of his jacket.

James ran his fingers through his luscious chestnut brown locks taking in his own handsome reflection and practicing his different types of smiles and laughing heartily, making sure he had what the boy referred to as "the fire".

Kendall had to admit, if anyone in their school could be famous, it would be James. The kid had leads in all the school plays since he was five, he was in three different advanced choir classes in school and to top it all off he had the beautiful, flawless face for it.

James had dreams to be a movie star, or a pop star since he was young enough to reach the tabloid magazines on the living room table. James Diamond wanted nothing more than fame, fortune, and an endless supply of women, the last one seemingly coming true as he got taller, and more experienced. And truthfully, Kendall believed in his best friend's abilities to get all of it and more. James would never let anything stop his dreams.

Kendall admired that.

Kendall sat on James' bed, looking down at his own wardrobe. He had worn gray skinny jeans, a turquoise t-shirt with a black and grey design and a black sweat jacket over it with Vans. He hadn't really wanted to get _too _dressed up, like James who was wearing his best leather jacket, a red shirt, blue jeans and expensive French loafers his mother had gotten him last year for Christmas.

"Not really," Kendall said with a small chuckle, his eyes caught on the grey carpet of James' room. Kendall sighed, and licked his lips nervously as he watched James get dressed up in front of the mirror. He had been abnormally quiet all day, and James knew exactly why.

Kendall still hadn't gotten a letter from Stella.

It had been nearly a week, and still nothing. Kendall would race home from school every day, park in the drive way, shut off his car and literally jump out of it to get to the mailbox three seconds earlier than he would if walking. But every day it was just coupons, bills and…more bills.

No love letters.

No sign of Stella.

James turned to his best friend with a small, sympathetic smile. He came over to his bed, and sat down next to Kendall, putting an arm around him with a smile. He knew Kendall was hurting from all of this, and it killed him to see his friend suffering so much. Every day he didn't get a letter, or word back from Stella, he seemed to get more and more depressed, and seemed to dread this date more and more.

James' wanted tonight to be fun. Kendall had been through enough shit the past year and a half, and now he was burdened with this runaway girl. He wanted his best to friend to more relaxed about life, and not be so down all the time, especially about something as silly a girl. Ever since he had returned from vacation, he had returned back to the state he was a few months after his father's accident. James was sure it had something to do with this "love" he had found. Out of the three boys, James felt he was the most skeptical of it.

Alone, heartbroken, depressed and unsure.

"Listen buddy, you should enjoy tonight. It'll be nice going out with a new girl," he said with a small smile, patting his back. Kendall shook his head, hanging it and then staring straight ahead out James' window, his expression blank.

"Why do you think I haven't gotten a letter back, James? Do you think she's alright?" Kendall asked turning to his friend with desperation written all over his face. James sighed and looked at Kendall, trying his hardest to put his smile on.

"I'm sure she is fine, Kendall. But the more you worry about getting that letter, or hearing back from her, the more upset you are going to be," James said. He took Kendall by the shoulder and shook him back and forth a bit with a playful smile. "Come on, buddy. We're going to have a nice, innocent time with two beautiful girls. If you act miserable the whole night, you're not gonna hurt anybody but yourself, and Stephanie," James added reinforcing his guilt trip.

Kendall sighed and nodded, feeling bad for Stephanie Carter. He had agreed to go on this date. Heck, he had asked her on this date. And James was right. If he was just miserable the entire time, it was only going to make things worse.

"I'll try," Kendall said softly, James cupping his shoulder and smiling.

"That's my boy," James said with a chuckle, getting up from the bed and turning to him. He sighed deeply and looked at the digital clock across his room and then looked back at Kendall.

"You ready to pick up the girls, dude?" James asked Kendall with a smile. Kendall nodded, and stood from the bed, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. He pulled on his winter jacket, dipping in the pocket for his keys as James pulled on his scarf and jacket.

Kendall was going _try_ to have a good time tonight. He only needed to do one thing.

Somehow, forget about Stella.

* * *

Kendall and Stephanie stood next to each other in the box office line, as James paid for he and Amy's tickets in front of them. Luckily, Stephanie hadn't been awkward about this night in any sense of the word so far. Even though Kendall could tell she was extremely nervous, she had tried her best not to stutter, and keep the conversation as friendly as possible, making sure there were no awkward silences or anything like that. However Kendall wasn't doing his part whatsoever, barely talking to the beautiful girl beside him.

Kendall saw how James' hand rested on the small of Amy's back quite tenderly and his face dropped a bit. He looked next to him and saw how Stephanie stood nervously fidgeting with her fingers, not knowing what to do with her hands. Kendall thought it might fare well for him to put his arm around the girl's shoulders and make her feel a bit more comfortable, but instantly, Stella came to his mind.

As James and Amy stepped back from the teller, their tickets in hand, James looked at Kendall with a straight faced smirk. He gripped Amy tighter to him by the waist and gave Kendall a wide eyed look, telling him to pick up his game. He was wondering why the boy was just standing there, barely paying any attention to his date since they had picked the girls up at Amy's a half an hour ago.

"We'll be at the snack line, okay bro?" James said. Kendall nodded as him and Stephanie stepped up to the box office.

"Hello, how may I help you this evening?" the geeky, awkward teller spoke with a smile.

"Uh…two for Hindsight, please," Kendall said to the teller with a smile. Stephanie began to take her out wallet quietly and Kendall turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" he asked her with a chuckle, trying to make his voice sound as sweet as possible. Stephanie looked up at him with nervous, saddened brown eyes.

"Getting money for my ticket," she said simply, as if she hadn't fathomed that Kendall would pay for her. At first she had to admit, it seemed like she was going to be out twenty-bucks for a movie she didn't even really want to see.

"Don't be silly," Kendall said with a slight chuckle, fishing into his back pocket for his wallet. He took it out and leafed through it, taking out a twenty dollar bill and handing it to the teller with a smile on his face.

"Well that's very sweet of you, Kendall. Thank you," Stephanie said in a polite, adorable voice.

Kendall smiled at how absolutely bashful she was being. He got the two tickets and his change back, as he looked at Stephanie with a nervous smile. She looked at him back with the same, bubbly, nervous expression she always donned as they made their way to the snack line.

They walked to where the man collected the ticket stubs, and after tearing them off, Kendall gave Stephanie hers back, gently touching her hand in the process. He immediately grew stiff upon touching her warm soft, hand, expecting to look up and see the beautiful, blonde hair and blue eyes of Stella.

No such luck.

Kendall's breathing sped up a bit and he swallowed hard, touching the back of his head nervously, his words stumbling.

"D-do you want s-something to drink or something?" he asked with a small, adorably goofy smile. Stephanie smiled back and gave him a chuckle nodding her head no.

"No, it's fine. But thanks for being a gentlemen and asking," she said with a bit of flirtatiousness in her voice, leaning into Kendall a bit, and touching his arm.

He dug his hands into his pockets immediately, as they waited for James' and Amy who seemed pretty enthralled in another at the moment. The group of four had picked a seat in the left wing of the tiny, crowded theater, close to the back by James' request, and Kendall knew why.

About ten minutes into the movie, Kendall, who sat next to James and Amy, heard the ever so familiar sound of "James and a girl making out". Kendall could hear the slight stifled moans, quiet giggles and the smacking of tongues and lips as if it was the _only_ thing his mind could process. It wasn't even like Kendall could move down a seat or two, because next to Stephanie, who was next to him, sat another couple who seemed to have the same idea as James and Amy.

Kendall felt awkward as could be, trying to concentrate on this movie as Stephanie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. It wasn't even like the two could move up a row, since nearly every seat in the theater was taken. This was a late showing of _Hindsight, _a movie that had just come out that day.

Kendall closed his eyes and tried to block out the disturbing noises he heard on either side of him, clutching the arm rest of the seat tightly. A few seconds later, Kendall felt Stephanie's warm hand on top of his, and he turned to her surprised. She looked in his green eyes, his face half illuminated by the movie screen, and tried to read him the best she could.

The boy had looked confused, lost and upset since he got here. Everything reminded him of Stella. The sounds of James and Amy kissing, the touch of Stephanie's hand, even the sound of his own heavy breathing. Stella had not only taken the boys heart, but his mind as well.

Stephanie slowly stroked Kendall's hand, trying her best to get him to make _some _sort of move, even if it was just an arm around her shoulder but he did nothing. He took his hand away from hers slowly, and scratched the back of his neck, settling his arm down by his side and sticking his hand in his pocket. Stephanie sighed deeply, a bit upset by this as they watched the rest of the movie in complete silence.

After tearing James and Amy apart from one another during the credits, the gang headed home, an obvious, stressful silence between Stephanie and Kendall in the front seat of his Chevy, as James and Amy replayed the movie theater in the back seat. Kendall tried keeping his eyes on the road the entire time, his mind gone, as Stephanie looked out the window lazily, tears springing to her eyes. She had finally gone on a date with **the** Kendall Knight, the Kendall Knight who had seemed so absolutely interested before they broke for school and now…she felt as if she had imagined it all.

Kendall dropped off Amy first, James leaving the spicy redhead with a long lingering kiss, and an affectionate touch on the chin. Then, they drove to James', the boy sensing the tension between them from the backseat, trying to break it with conversation about school and his vacation. James was a bit disappointed in Kendall's behavior all night, especially since he knew Stephanie was absolutely miserable, and that Kendall hadn't stopped thinking of Stella.

As they dropped of James, the pretty boy got out of the car, thanking Kendall for the ride and bidding Stephanie a sweet goodnight. He went around the car to Kendall's window and hit it with his knuckle. Kendall rolled the window down with an odd face as James gave him an annoyed, hurtful expression.

"Text me later, kay?" James said with wide angry hazel eyes. Kendall nodded with a frown on, knowing _just_ what James' was going to say to him.

A painfully silent five minutes later, Kendall shut off the car as they pulled up to Stephanie's small little green house.

Stephanie took her gaze from the car window and turned to him with watery eyes, a tear streak silently falling down her face. With one look in her eyes, Kendall knew that going on this date was definitely **not** the best idea. He sighed deeply, and unbuckled himself from the car, opening the door and getting out. Kendall, like the gentlemen he was opened the car door for the brunette, as she stepped out onto the curb with a slight, sad smile. He closed the door behind her as he sheepishly walked her up to the red door of her house. After what seemed like minutes, they finally got to her cement porch, and Stephanie turned to Kendall, the cold chill rippling through her brown hair, stinging the dry tears on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie," Kendall muttered out miserably, hands in his pockets, looking down at his Vans. He looked back up at her and she looked at him confused.

"Why are you apologizing, Kendall?" she asked him softly, knowing exactly why he was apologizing, but feigning it. Kendall sighed deeply and moved closer to her with sad green eyes.

"Look at you, Steph. You look absolutely gorgeous tonight," Kendall said motioning to her carefully picked ensemble. "You're so sweet and kind, you have a laugh and smile that could light up a room, and I'm the asshole who took you out on a horrible date, and made you cry," he said, reaching up to her cheek and wiping the freshly fallen tear.

Kendall felt like an entire mix of every emotion in the book right now. Stephanie bowed her head, trying her best to regain her composure. She couldn't be an emotional mess like this; it would just make things worse for both parties.

Stephanie couldn't argue with Kendall. The date had been pretty horrible, and yes he had made her cry. Kendall swallowed hard, trying to get the courage in him to continue.

"Listen, Stephanie, it's not you. When I asked you out on a date before break, I really did like you, and if we had gone out before then, I guarantee we would've been doing exactly what James and Amy were doing in that movie theater, maybe in somewhere a bit more private…and a little less intense of course," Kendall joked out, knowing Stephanie had a good sense of humor. She chuckled a bit looking up into his eyes, just wanting to know why.

"What changed?" she asked softly, the wind whipping around her hair, the silence of the night running through each of their bodies like cold blood. Kendall sighed and looked at her with a small smile. He knew it probably wasn't the smartest, or the best thing to say, but it was the truth. And Kendall needed to stop lying.

"I fell in love," Kendall simply stated with a small smile, talking his heart out. "You may think it's stupid, and not true, and foolish, but I know it's real. And I—I just couldn't do that to her," Kendall said with a deep sigh, as if Stephanie knew exactly who Stella was and their history. Stephanie looked up at Kendall surprised with wide brown eyes.

Stephanie was in love. She was in love the boy who stood before her. She had been in love with him for two long years. She understood. She could never hurt Kendall. And even though her love wasn't as strong, or mutual like Kendall and Stella's, and that it would probably pass in the next year or two, Stephanie knew that no matter what, when you do love a person, it's near impossible to hurt them, to even think of hurting them. She swallowed hard and was silent as Kendall leaned down and placed a soft, sweet kiss on her cheek, Stephanie's heart rising up in her chest with the touch of Kendall's lips to her skin. She felt his soft stubble graze against her smooth face as he retreated back and she smiled a bit. He tilted her chin up towards his and smiled.

"You're a beautiful, perfect girl, Stephanie. And you'll find the right guy, I promise you," Kendall spoke softly.

Stephanie nodded, as Kendall bit his lip, his heart beating out of his chest. He moved even closer to her and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly, as she took in the scent of him, and his warmth.

"Just please, don't go anywhere near James. You're too good for him," Kendall chuckled in her ear with a smile. Stephanie smiled and nodded as Kendall gave her one last smile.

"Thank you, Kendall. For being a gentleman about everything that happened," she said lowly, as if she had already been trying to erase the night from her mind.

"Not a problem," Kendall said bashfully, sticking his hands in his pockets.

It was near 11:00 when Kendall walked in the door from the bitter cold, swinging his car keys on his hand lazily. He shut the door with a slam, taking off his coat, and placing it on the coat rack beside his front door. His mother sat at the kitchen table, doing a crossword with a cup of tea at her side, clad in her bathrobe with slippers.

"Kendall?" she asked confused, as the troubled boy walked into the kitchen slowly, with an upset face on. Kim immediately sensed something wrong as he sat down at the table with sigh, throwing his keys carelessly, and sitting back in his chair.

"I guess the date didn't go very well?" Kim asked him with a frown, taking a sip of tea and putting down the pen. Kendall nodded no with a small smile.

"Eh, it's alright. It wouldn't have worked out anyway," he said lowly, his gaze directed at the white kitchen table. Kim frowned and leaned out, touching his arm soothingly.

"It's okay, sweetheart. There are tons of other fish in the sea," Kim said with a smile, trying to evoke the same response out of her broken, depressed son. Kendall gave her a small smile and nodded, his mind on one fish in particular.

"I know. Thanks mom," he said, pushing himself up out of his seat with a loud groan. He came over to her, and leaned down, kissing her hair gently.

"And thanks for waiting up," he added softly, resting his hand on her upper back.

Kim smiled up at him and made a 'come hither' motion with her finger. He leaned down and Kim took her son's face one hand and swooped his face to hers giving him a loving peck on the cheek. Kendall pulled from her with a small smile.

"Goodnight, Kendall," she said with a small smile. Kendall nodded and bid her a final good night as he dragged himself up the carpeted stairs of his house, to his room. As he walked down the hallway, he passed Katie's door, and instantly slowed down.

He hadn't even talked to his little sister since his outburst at her days earlier. He wanted nothing more than to hold her tiny little frame in his arms, and tell her everything was going to be okay. But she hadn't come to him yet. He had tried to come to her on New Year's Eve with the pots and pans, but she was already asleep, and obviously not ready for him yet. It killed Kendall inside not talking to the only other person who could really and truly understand what it was like to lose a father.

As he approached her door, he heard slight sniffles and cries from her room. He cocked an eyebrow and slowly, but surely peeked his head in the small crease in the door, and saw Katie laying in bed, her back to him huddled up in a ball. Kendall looked at how her long brown hair covered her shaking back, rising and falling with her cries, the moonlight from the window falling on her frame, the purple of her room creating an eerie sort of atmosphere. It broke Kendall's heart to see his little sister like this. Katie needed someone right now.

She needed her Big Brother.

Kendall slowly slipped into her room, his sneakers gentle against the white carpet, as he made his way to the far side of her bed. He bit his lip, heart pounding against his ribcage, as he slowly kneeled down next to Katie whose brown eyes were full of tears, her pillow wet. Her wispy brown bangs hung in front of her eyes as Kendall cautiously reached out to touch her shoulder and she looked up at him scared, and frightened.

"Why are you crying, Kates?" he asked softly, his voice soothing to the small girls' ears as his hand moved up to her silky brown hair, stroking it gently. The second he touched Katie, he felt as if there had been nothing wrong in the first place, as if the tension between them had disappeared.

Katie could see the hurt in her brother's green eyes, in which their specks of yellow hadn't returned. She had hurt him by not talking to him; he had hurt her by getting so angry; they had both hurt with the absence of their father, and the grief of their mother.

"I-I don't wanna hurt a-anymore, Kenny," she cried with thick tears in her throat.

Kendall's heart broke at his sisters desperate words, as he stood up, and kicked off his sneakers. He then peeled the comforters back and slowly crawled into Katie's bed, extending his strong arms to his sister, as she fell into them crying.

"When is it gonna stop hurting?" she cried silently, her voice weak.

Kendall hugged Katie's tiny form to him in her small bed in which his feet nearly hung over, as she cried relentlessly into his chest. The distance between them was finally over, and Kendall couldn't have been any happier, but yet sadder on the circumstances it had come to.

Besides his mother, Kendall hadn't taken Katie's amount of grief into his mind the past year. Here she was, going to grow up without a father, without someone to walk her down the aisle, and meet her children. Kendall felt horrendously selfish in the moment he leaned down and kissed Katie's hair, holding her tightly to him like he never wanted to let go.

"I'm sorry, Baby Sister. I'm sorry for everything," Kendall whispered gently into her hair, his own voice breaking. He shut his eyes closed tightly and swallowed the lump in his throat as Katie grabbed onto his shirt in fistfuls, as if she was compelled to him.

"I'm sorry I get so angry sometimes," he croaked out, swallowing hard, tears leaking from his eyes. "I just miss daddy _so_ m-much," he cried, his voice completely breaking down on the name he hadn't used for his dad in ages. Warm tears ran down both Knights' faces as they huddled into each other for long-awaited comfort, Katie still silent since Kendall had cuddled her. Katie looked up at her brother helplessly, her face flushed and cheeks wet.

"W-why do you do this to yourself, Kendall? Why do you make yourself s-so angry all the t-time?" she cried out softly into him, his large hand rubbing soothing circles on his sister's warm, shaking back.

Kendall kissed her hair once more, his eyes squeezing out more tears due to his sisters woe, his breathing heavy and in sync with his Baby Sister's.

_Why do you do this to yourself, Kendall? Why do you make yourself angry all the time?_The innocent question from Katie echoed in his mind as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his soothing, melodious heartbeat through his shirt and sweat jacket, matching her breathing with it as if it was a sad, string song.

Everyone had asked him _why_ he was so angry, _why_ he did the things he did, _why_ he was so emotionally distraught. But only Katie had caught on. She had caught on all these months, watching her Big Brother tear himself apart for no reason at all. It made the little girl sick to her stomach to hear her brother's sobs at night, or hear him wrecking his room out of anger.

"I wish I knew, Baby Sister," Kendall muttered out softly. He kissed her head gently once more, and cuddled more into her, her breathing slowing down from cries into a deep, peaceful slumber.

No one had ever asked him why he was doing this to himself. Nobody but his Baby Sister.

That's the one thing Kendall never understood, but was always amazed by about Katie.

His little sister put everything into the simplest terms.


	13. I'm Not Okay

**A/N: Running a little late on Hooked tonight, but here it is! :D This has a BUNCH of Stella in it, so be prepared :D I think y'all like it.**

**Please read and review! Anonymous reviews are enabled, so don't be shy! Really :D I've gotten some awesome anon reviews that I love lately :D**

***IS ANYONE ELSE HAVING PROBLEMS PERSERVING THEIR ITALICS AND BOLDS IN THEIR STORY ON THIS SITE? I AM AND ITS PISSING ME OFF BEYOND BELIEF. THATS WHY THIS IS SO LATE AND I APOLOGIZE :(

**This chapter is dedicated to waterwicca, and you GOTTA check out her story, Past The Sorrow. Here is a little snippet from Chapter 5. Go ahead, read and enjoy, I know you wanna ;D**

"Is that you?" she asked with a smile, turning to point at a frame hanging on the wall beside his dresser.

It was a large picture of four young boys huddling close together on the ground and smiling for the camera. They were all dressed warmly and the richly colored leaves of autumn lay in a pile beneath them. Sage's finger landed on the blonde child positioned second in the line of boys.

Kendall jumped off of the bed with a grin and moved to stand beside her with his arm around her waist as they looked over the photograph.

"Yup! Aren't I adorable?" Kendall joked with a cheeky smile as he squeezed the girl he held close.

"Who are the others?" Sage questioned, leaning into Kendall's embrace.

"They were my best friends when I lived in Minnesota. This one…" he began by pointing to the boy on the far left who had short raven colored hair and dark eyes. He wore a small, happy grin just like young Kendall. "This is Logan Mitchell. He was the sensible brainiac of the group. He tried to be the voice of reason when we ended up in crazy situations, but you could always tell he secretly loved the chaos. He was a great friend… loyal no matter what."

Kendall stopped, smiling softly, before moving his finger to the boy on the other side of him. This one had an adorable, perfect smile and soft brown hair. His hazel eyes looked right into the camera.

"That's James Diamond. He was born for Hollywood. He did it all: singing, dancing, and acting. James was made to perform, and he'd let you know it every chance he got. He was full of passion. I only started getting interested in music because of him," Kendall explained with a small laugh.

He picked up his finger and put it on the final and fourth boy with a wide smile, brown eyes, and short dark hair.

"This is Carlos Garcia. He was our crazy, hilarious dare devil. Logan tried his best to keep him out of trouble, James egged him on, and I would always be in the middle depending on my mood and how outlandish the stunt was," Kendall chuckled, shaking his head from side to side, "Carlos would try anything twice."

"Don't you mean once?" Sage interjected with a smirk, turning her head to look up at him.

"No, Carlos lives by his own rules," Kendall laughed while looking at the photo once more. Sage watched him as his smile softened into a small grin. His green eyes glazed over as he ran through memories of his friends.

"You miss them a lot, don't you?" Sage inquired, leaning her head against his chest and wrapping both arms around his torso while they both looked at the picture.

"Yeah, I do. They were my best friends. I haven't seen them since I was Katie's age and we had to leave Minnesota. I grew up with them, but then my dad died. Mom struggled to pay the bills with only her income. We ended up moving in with a relative, trying to stay in the town we loved… It was only a few years though before my mom found a better job here in North Dakota. That's when we really started moving around here every couple of years," Kendall explained, laying his own head on top of Sage's, feeling less gloomy at the contact. She always heated him up; she even smelled warm. It invaded his senses, making every muscle relax.

"Maybe you'll see them again someday. I don't think that they were part of your life for no reason," Sage reassured him with a soft smile and she leaned up to kiss him gently on the cheek. She let her lips linger for a moment before taking a step back.

"You're right," Kendall nodded, his wide smile returning. He felt real optimism. Even if he weren't with them, he knew he loved his best friends, and he already started thinking about making a trip back to Minnesota even if he had to wait until after senior year.

"So, what kind of reckless things would your ten-year-old self and your friends do?" Sage asked in excitement, almost as if she could feed off of his happy, fun childhood to make her own memories seem less dark.

"Well, one time, Carlos wanted to jump off of James' second story balcony and into the pool," Kendall laughed.

"And how did that end up?" Sage asked with a giggle.

"Logan told him the trajectory was all wrong and he wouldn't make the landing. James wanted him to do it, but warned him he may have permanent blemishes from scars if he needed stitches," Kendall explained.

"And you?" Sage crossed her arms with a smirk, raising an eyebrow.

"I told him to go for it because I knew that the splash would be epic," Kendall smiled brightly. "So, I covered Logan's eyes so he wouldn't hyperventilate while Carlos climbed to the edge with James cheering him on. Carlos took a big leap and landed dead center in the pool. Even Logan ended up cheering because it was so awesome. He didn't think he would make it, but Carlos defies most logic," Kendall laughed along with Sage as he moved to stand in front of the large window. "I think the jump was even higher than this, and the pool was a few feet further out than where the roof ends," he pointed out the window absentmindedly. Just beneath it, there was a stretch of roof that didn't have much of a slant and was about three yards deep.

"You have a nice view," Sage commented as they observed the world outside. You could see the tops of a few trees that were scattered across the yard and the top of the wooden fence at the end of the property. Beyond that, there were only more trees and the clear blue sky. You couldn't even see any of the neighbors' houses.

"Yeah, I got lucky. The last place we were in, there wasn't a single window in my room," Kendall frowned, then took Sage's hand and opened the window. "Let's get a better look," he smiled as he waved his hand, "Ladies first."

"What a gentleman," Sage smirked as she swung one leg over the windowsill, then the other. She stood on the roof while Kendall climbed out behind her, their hands still intertwined.

After gaining his footing, Kendall lowered himself to the roof, pulling Sage with him. They lay down together, both on their backs with their shoulders touching. The slight incline of the roof angled the two just enough so that they had a view of not only the sky overhead, but also the horizon above the trees. From the sun's weakening strength, they could tell the evening would settle upon them in only a couple of hours.

"Now that you're my girlfriend, we should get to know each other better," Kendall smiled, turning his head to look at Sage.

"Shouldn't it have been the other way around?" she joked about their unusual beginnings.

"Whatever," he sighed and nudged her playfully with their clasped hands, "You love how crazy we are."

**So yeah. You GOTTA read Past The Sorrow. It's such an absolutely, excellent, perfect creation of EVERYTHING you could EVER want in a fanfiction :D You must read now!**

I don't own anything except my OC's.

* * *

_Chapter Thirteen: I'm Not Okay_

Nightmares. They hadn't happened in a while for her.

A while.

But now they just seemed to reappear as always.

_"Hey, blondie. You didn't finish your lunch?" the tall, burly man asked menacingly, his eyebrows furrowed, his blonde hair peeking out from under a clean, pristine, uniform hat._

_The tiny blonde five year old girl, with striking blue eyes looked down at the horrible mush of oatmeal she had been served, her body shaking with fear. This had been the longest, most horrible young day of her life. She tugged at her lower lip, as the man neared closer to her with his crooked teeth, stubbly unkempt face, and horrible breath._

_"You listenin' blondie?" he said, his lips curled up into a deceiving smile, a smile that the little girl had never seen in her life. Usually the smiles she saw were full of love and laughter._

_He put his face near hers, as the blonde girl nodded her head no, not wanting to have the disgusting mush slide down her throat. The guard snickered and sucked his teeth disapprovingly; the girl's beautiful, cornflower silk golden locks falling over her face._

_"Eat it," the guard demanded harshly. "Now."_

_The little girl looked down at the disgusting, atrocious food in front of her and didn't move, barely passing breaths from her pink lips. The guard waited about five seconds, before coming around from behind her, as the blonde closed her eyes. The sound of his every step on the cold, tiled floor was something that would never leave her, not even to this day._

_"Have it your way," the guard snickered, as he yanked the blonde girl off the decrepit, wooden bench from the collar of her pale pink shirt, as she let out a small soft breath, the other dirty children and teens eating their lunches fearfully and quickly._

_The blonde girl kicked and screamed as he dragged her down the hallway, her face red, tears falling from her blue eyes, no one bothering to help, or even look in her direction._

_She felt her collar choking her._

_Her breaths getting shorter._

_Her head feeling light._

Stella shot up in her sleep, a mild, sticky sweat on her brow as she heaved heavily. Her breaths came in short, tight, sharp intervals. It had to have been below ten degrees here in Cumberland, as she swallowed hard and small puffs of air blew past her bluish lips.

Stella shivered in the heavy cold air, thanking God she had not bought that burger at Shackles on New Year's several days back, and opted for a blanket from one of the camping stores instead. Stella shivered furiously, the warm, salty tears beginning to spill on her cheeks the only source of comfort on her red, cold face. Her canvas bag lay beside her, as with shaking hands, she began to tear through it.

Even though she had two blankets, all her clothes and her boots on, the girl still felt like she was frozen. She rummaged through the few other necessities she had bought with the last of her pay, some she had stolen from the General Store before she left, as she reached the bottom of her canvas bag.

Her fingers touched something heavenly and painstakingly soft, as she gripped it with frozen hands, pulling it up out of the bag. Her watery blue eyes locked on the dark blue cardigan of Kendall Knight's as it seemingly wrapped itself around her shaking fingers. Stella hadn't even looked at it since the night on the bus.

She brought it to her lips, and deeply inhaled the hypnotizing scent of the boy she hadn't even **fully** realized she'd missed so much. The scent of his musky cologne and his own natural scent seemed to travel into Stella's brain, triggering a series of on switches that alit her senses and memories. She closed her blue eyes, tears leaking out the sides down her face as she rubbed her cold face into the cardigan, her body feeling instantly warmed.

_Stella felt his soft lips on her neck, suckling at her pale, cold skin as she let out a small sigh. Her hands gently went up to tangle in Kendall's soft hair, her eyes still closed, Kendall slowly grinding his naked body into hers._

_She let out a soft moan, as he captured his lips with hers in a simple, tender lip lock, one hand cupping her cold cheek. Stella satisfied him by grinding her hips back into him, as Kendall let out a small sound of pleasure, music to the blonde girl's ears._

_He went to her ear, kissing her neck tenderly, a genuine smile appearing on her face. He slowly brushed the blonde hair from her face, kissing her cheek as she arched her back off the bed, the friction between their bodies becoming more and more intense._

_"You're so cold, Stella," Kendall spoke gently, his whispers sending shivers up and down her spine._

_Stella swallowed hard and nodded, as he planted wet kisses up and down her jaw line, nipping and sucking to his absolute desire. His touch felt like fire on her cold skin, her body a pasty white._

_"Why are you so cold, gorgeous?" Kendall asked softly, his voice starting to become concerned._

_Stella tried to speak, but it was if she had no voice. She licked her lips and opened them trying to get out words, but Kendall caught her blue lips in a kiss, his touch moving down to her waist, their bodies still separate, moving against each other._

_"Don't be cold. Get warm again," Kendall spoke in an alluring voice, his hips against hers._

_Stella felt the all too familiar feeling of an orgasm in between her legs as she threaded her ice cold fingers through his soft hair. Kendall moved softly against her, the feeling of his length against her absolutely intoxicating for the girl as she raised her back from the ground again._

_She wanted nothing more than to moan his name, but she couldn't. Her throat wouldn't let her speak, her head got hot, and her heart beat against her chest._

_She was getting closer, fathomed by the fact that Kendall wasn't even inside of her, as she tipped her head back and let out a small growl, his warm hands and chest on top of her, his bangs tickling her forehead as she gasped for air._

_She felt a rush come over a body, a small chill._

_"K-Ken-," she muttered out, licking her chilly blue lips, as her mind wandered off. Kendall's body seemed to get more and more distant, as the tingly, pleasuring sensation faded away, her body involuntarily bucking up to meet his, her breaths sharp and rough._

_But he was gone."Kendall," she whispered out between parted blue lips, as her blue eyes shot open and warm tears immediately and involuntarily spilled down her cheeks._

She swallowed hard, a bit of sweat collecting on her neck, as she sighed, swallowing hard, feeling a slight tingle between her legs. Stella's breaths were sharp, and hitched, the cold making it horribly hard to breathe.

She looked down at the blue cardigan, which was beginning to get soaked with her tears, the scent wafting up into her nose as she laid her head back down. Her entire body shivered again, and without even looking, she hurriedly stuffed the cardigan into her canvas bag, pulling the drawstring to shut it.

She closed her eyes tightly, her head spinning, as she tried her best to forget about the two nightmares she had just experienced.

* * *

James Diamond wasn't one to easily get mad. James was an understanding type of guy. He figured he had gotten it from his parents, who seemed to never get angry at him, or anyone for that matter, even though he knew it was just because they were **so** oblivious to the world around them.

Lucie and Jason Diamond seemed to be in their own little world at times, so dangerously and infatuatedly in love with another that nothing else seemed to matter. They really had given up **everything** for their love, and at times while James was happy to have a loving, together family, he felt it was unnecessary for his parents love to be shown _all the time. _

Just last month, James had walked in on them in bed together, and nearly fell backwards down the stairs upon opening the door and seeing his mother under his father. He hadn't had sex for two weeks after that, telling the boys he was indeed "emotionally and sexually scarred".

Anger was really not one of James Diamond's favored emotions, and while he didn't try to hide it, he certainly didn't embrace it.

It was Monday afternoon, and James stood on a snowy knoll of grass outside Duluth High. With a single book in his hand, and his car keys in his other, he scoped the outsides of the front of the school that was littered with freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors. He was trying to find Amy, the girl "really didn't like that much", to drive her home, and possibly make-out for a bit in front of her house.

He sighed as he walked through groups of people waiting for the bus, gallivanting with snowballs until in the distance, he saw Amy talking to a crying Stephanie, in the small space between two buildings of the high school. James walked fast towards them, trying not to be seen as he rested against the corner of another building, being able to hear them perfectly.

"I j-just don't understand, Amy. He seemed interested…before w-we left for break, and in the matter of a week, he—he falls in love with s-someone else?" Stephanie cried out, her voice wavering as James furrowed his brows. Was she talking about Kendall?

"I don't know, Steph. I mean you are right, he **did** seem interested. He was the one who suggested a date, wasn't he?" Amy asked, her hand on Stephanie's sobbing shoulders as the brunette cried.

"Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I j-just…I don't get how he could fall in love with s-someone in a week. And that must mean he was obviously with this girl beforehand, so why was he even…_trying_ with me?" Stephanie sobbed, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

James sighed and leaned against the wall, his heart breaking a bit. He had always liked Stephanie. And now, Kendall had made her cry because of this stupid Stella shit. James bit his bottom lip in anger, getting more and more frustrated with his blonde friend.

"Maybe he's just an idiot, Steph. Come on, you don't need _Kendall Knight_ to make you happy," she said angry, mocking the boys name. "And if you want, I'll ask James what's up with Kendall, because truthfully, that's really a **dick** thing to do, especially after what happened on the date," Amy said angrily. Stephanie nodded no and wiped her face of tears, sniffling.

"No. Don't bring James into this, please? I don't want to screw up anything you guys have," she asked Amy. Amy sighed and smiled.

"Please, Steph. It's James Diamond. We don't have anything but making out to do," Amy joked, Stephanie looking at her with big brown eyes. She sighed deeply and smiled. "Alright. Listen, James is probably looking for me…" Amy said, but before James could hear the rest, he ran away quickly, hoping that neither Stephanie nor Amy would see him. He ran back past the snowy knoll of grass, and turned around taking a deep breath, approaching the now emerging Amy and Stephanie with a smile.

Amy's face lit up when she saw James walking towards them, and she smiled coyly, Stephanie wiping her eyes. James looked at the brunette with sad eyes as Amy came next to him, James immediately sliding an arm around the girl's thin waist.

"Stephanie, do you need a ride home?" James asked with a smile. Stephanie looked up at him with a sad face, sniffling and running her hand back through her hair.

"No. I think I'm going to walk, clear my head," she said in a soft whisper. James frowned.

"Are you sure?" he asked her. Stephanie nodded, and bid the two a quiet wave good-bye as she clutched her books to her chest, turned around and began to walk home.

James looked down at Amy and then back at Stephanie, who got further and further away as he clutched Amy closer to him.

"Is she alright?" James asked softly. Amy sighed deeply, debating whether or not to distrust Stephanie and tell James what Kendall had said at the door, wondering if he already knew. She decided against it.

"She's fine," Amy said unsure. "Let's go, my parents get home soon," she said turning to James with a coy smile, James raising an eyebrow at her with a smile. The couple turned and began to descent back to James' car in the underclassmen parking lot, leaning against each other for support.

* * *

"Here," Kendall said softly, gently easing the tickets toward Logan across the boy's kitchen table. Logan looked down at the two huge tickets for the Los Angeles Kings vs. Minnesota Wild game Kendall was offering him. Logan looked up at his blonde friend and licked his lips, as Kendall's green eyes seemed to glaze over with sadness, stuck on the tickets.

Logan was afraid to touch them. Mr. Knight had touched these tickets before he died. He didn't want to dirty them with his own fingerprints, even if the boy _was_ handing them over.

"Kendall, are you sure? I mean, you might not be able to go, but why don't you keep the tickets? I mean, I'm sure me and my dad will find plenty of other things to do in California," Logan said with a sad smirk. He knew his best friend had been looking forward to these when his father was alive, and he had no idea he'd be receiving them for Christmas. He also had no idea his father would be gone.

Kendall had decided after long thought to give the tickets he'd received from his father for Christmas to Logan. During the last three days of testing and midterms for Duluth High students, which was all senior/junior tests, Logan's father had a business trip in Los Angeles, and decided to take his son with him, seeing as he was always busy at the office and the two hadn't really spent time together. Logan had planned to spend the three days he had off, and that Saturday and Sunday just staying at home with the guys, maybe shooting some pucks and getting pizza, but now Logan was excited about going to California.

He had only learned of the trip this morning at breakfast, spending all lunch period telling the boys about where he and his father were going to go, what they were going to do. James was a bit jealous, and telling Logan where to go to see all the hottest celebrity women, Carlos was enthusing about a small little place he had gone to once in California that served the best rice and beans, and Kendall just sat there upset and quiet. All he could think of was how he and _his_ father were supposed to go to this game in California, stay up late in the hotel watching slasher movies, talking about how Kendall was becoming a man, what colleges he had been looking at and what girls in his school he thought were a ten.

But that wouldn't be happening.

So when Kendall got home, and took his Christmas present from their original box in his sock drawer, he stared at them and sighed deeply, sitting on his bed with them in his hand, careful not to fold them, or bend them in anyway. He looked at them with confused, conflicted, teary eyes.

An hour later, he decided to go to Logan's.

"They're just going to go to waste if I don't give them to you. You're already going to be in California, so why not? Just take 'em Logie," Kendall said hastily, pushing the tickets towards his best friend even more, creasing one of the edges. Kendall sighed and closed his eyes, trying to block out any tears that threatened to come. He wanted the tickets to go to good use. His dad wouldn't be happy if he just wasted them, and Kendall was glad to give them to Logan if he couldn't go.

"Thanks, Kendall. It means a lot," Logan said sadly, touching the tickets gently. Kendall nodded and stood up from the table of the Mitchell's kitchen and sighed, getting his car keys from his pocket.

"I should get going," Kendall said rushedly. Logan looked at his friend awkwardly, the tickets still on the kitchen table.

"You sure? I can ask my mom if you can stay for dinner," Logan said with a smile. Kendall smiled back feebly, pulling on his coat from where it hung on his chair, his keys jingling.

"No thanks, man. My mom is already cooking at home," Kendall lied, just wanting to get out of the house as soon as possible. Logan nodded understanding, as they walked to the front door of his house, and Logan let his best friend out the door.

Kendall stood on the porch and turned to his best friend with a small smile. "You promise you'll take pictures of Bouchard for me, alright? He's playing my future position," Kendall spoke with a chuckle about the Wild's center starter. Logan nodded, leaning against the door frame with a smile.

"Of course, buddy," Logan said. Kendall gave him a goofy salute, Logan returning it, as he walked back to where his car was parked in front of Logan's with his hands in his pockets. Logan closed the door and sighed deeply, walking into the kitchen eyeing the tickets.

He picked them up with a swift hand and immediately walked down the wood floored hallway to the last door on the right, his dad's office. Logan knocked on the door, looking down at the tickets as he heard his father's confident voice.

"One minute," he said rather loudly. Logan heard some shuffling from within the office, a phone being hung up violently, and heard his father's footsteps coming to the door. John Mitchell opened the door and smiled down at his son.

"Hey, Loag. What's up?" he asked his son, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. Logan looked up at his father with sad, confused eyes. He knew that he could talk to his father about this, and anything else that came his way. His dad was always there for him, even if it didn't seem like he was.

"Can I talk to you about something?" he asked. John nodded, and opened the door for his son. Logan walked into his father's office and smiled a bit. It always seemed like such a quaint little place. He had a wall of bookshelves, some old football trophies, certificates and diplomas everywhere, and the office had a musty, but manly smell. Logan sat down at his usual place on the plush tan couch, his father sitting next to him with a sigh.

"What's up?" his dad asked him, his eyes going down to the tickets in his son's hand. Logan looked up at his dad and smiled a bit, then looking back down at the tickets for the umpteenth time.

"Uh, Kendall gave me these. The Wild are gonna be playing the Kings when we are in California, and since Kendall can't go, he gave them to me," Logan said, still amazed that the exchange had taken place.

"Lemme see," John said, gently taking one of the tickets out of his son's hand and examining it. His brow furrowed and his eyes lit up.

"Wow. These are excellent seats. How'd Kendall get these?" John asked, looking over the rest of the words on the ticket. Logan shifted in his seat a bit, biting his lower lip and sighing.

"They were a Christmas present…from Mr. Knight," Logan said, speaking the name of his second father softly. John looked directly into Logan's eyes with sadness, as the boy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. Just the mention of his best friend's fallen father created an awkward, mournful silence between the father and son.

"And you sure it's alright that he gave you these?" John asked his son cautiously. Logan shrugged.

"He wouldn't take them back. Said they'd go to waste if he did," Logan spoke softly. John looked down at the tickets, and sighed, seeing how this had affected his son. If these circumstances were different, Logan would be bouncing around the house talking about how he was going to see a Wild game in California.

But he couldn't.

Not when it was Kendall who was supposed to be going.

John smiled and chuckled. "You know what, what do you think Mrs. Knight would say if I told her we could have Kendall join us in California?" John said softly. Logan shot a look up at his father with an already wide smirk, trying to cover it up. His face then again sagged as his mind began ticking about all the logical ways that would _never_ happen.

"How would we do that, dad? Kendall's money situation hasn't exactly been the best since Mr. Knight died. He might even have to go get a job to help Mrs. Knight out," Logan said sadly, feeling horrible for his best friend.

"I'm sure we could spare a few hundred dollars for a plane ticket, Logan. You and Kendall would just have to share a bed in the hotel room," John said with a smile. Logan smiled up at his father brightly like he was the best thing in the world.

"Really? You'd do that?" Logan asked. John nodded, and rested his hand on his son's back with a smile.

"Let me just talk it over with your mother, and then once we get everything sorted out, tell Kendall we'd be happy to have him join us in sunny LA," John said. Logan smiled, and instantly chuckled, leaning into his father and sighing.

"Thanks a lot, dad. It means a lot to me," Logan said softly, a weight from his shoulders lifting a bit. John hit his son's arm playfully and smiled at him.

"I know, kid. Anything for you," he said with a bright smile.

* * *

Stella had been reminded of Kendall effortlessly the past few days. Ever since deciding that she didn't need him, and _couldn't_ love him, he seemed to **always** pop up in her mind. Whether it was on New Year's standing alone in the back of a crowded room thinking of him, or whether it was sleeping on a cold, hard park bench having sexual fantasies about him, Kendall Knight was _always_ there, and Stella wanted to change it so badly.

She strolled the downtown streets of Cumberland again, trying to find something to do with her time. Since leaving the house had come about so abruptly, and she had to leave the General Store so suddenly, Stella truthfully had no idea what she was going to, where she was going to go. The fact that she had ended up here was merely the decision of the bus driver who had left her carelessly on the bus some nights ago.

She clutched her jacket to her, the weather being extra cold today, as her barely there boots scuffed against the asphalt, wet from the slippery ice and slush. She sighed, her messy blonde hair blowing behind her, her cheeks red from the harsh wind.

She swallowed hard as people passed her on the street. She saw a happy couple, holding a raven haired child's hand in between both of them, as they hoisted the small little girl over the cracks in the sidewalk, each of them laughing gleefully as if they had no other care in the world. Stella stared the couple and child down with a slight, sad smile as they passed her by, her heart tearing a bit.

She kept on walking forward, as a blonde couple seemed to just appear in front of her, the man slinging his arm around his blonde counterpart's waist and holding her tightly. The man kissed the girl on the temple, and chuckled, holding her tight as they walked together in the chilly cold. Stella locked her eyes on them, intrigued as she continued to follow them down the street.

All she could think about was Kendall Knight.

Stella passed a nearby alleyway, and after realizing she had followed the happy couple all the way down the street, made a left into it, her breathing hitched her brow sweaty. She leaned against the wall clutching her jacket, tears threatening to come to her eyes, as she breathed heavily, and let out small sobs. The cold brick against her back and the chill that ravished through the dirty alleyway made Stella cringe, but not as much as it did when she heard a deep voice ring through the small, dark space.

"H-hello?" the voice asked unsurely.

Stella immediately tensed up at the sound, as she heard a bit of rustling, the fall of something metal, and a small cough before she saw a tall, skinny, dirty boy emerge from the darkness. Stella looked at him oddly, catching her breath, clutching the brick wall with everything she had. She didn't know if she was more startled that he had appeared out of nowhere, or the fact that he was talking to her like she was…normal.

"Hi," Stella said softly, between barely parted pink lips, blue eyes wide. She studied the boy more and more, who had ripped and tattered clothes. A brown t-shirt hung around his thin frame, a small military jacket over that, his jeans full of rips and tears, black Converse on his feet with the front rubber coming off. He looked dirty, thin, and tired.

"Hi. I'm Cooper," the boy said with a half-quirky smile that looked sorta comforting. Stella licked her lips and looked at the boy with a curious gaze, still backed up against the wall.

"I'm…Amanda," Stella said, citing the use of another fake name she had used.

She wouldn't _dare_ tell someone she **just** met her special name in secret with the stars.

"You 'kay?" Cooper asked her with alive, big blue eyes. Stella swallowed hard and licked her lips.

She was _far_ from okay.

"I'm fine," she lied easily, standing up straight from the wall as the boy came in front of her with a smirk.

"You goin' somewhere?" he asked with a bit of an accent she hadn't noticed until now, his eyes motioning to the bag on her back. Stella looked back at her torn and tattered canvas bag and then back at Cooper with a defeated expression.

"Am I **_going_ **somewhere?" she asked, correcting him with a bit of attitude in her voice. Cooper chuckled and shook his head at her.

"Yep. Ain't that what I was askin' you?" he chuckled out loud sticking his hands in his pockets, taking one hand out to wipe the back of it across his forehead, pushing his brown bangs from his head.

"Uh. Yeah," she said nervously. Cooper chuckled.

"Where ya headed?" he asked her, leaning against the opposite brick wall, crossing his arms across his chest. Stella didn't feel relaxed with the boy, but she had to admit, it was the first time she had even truly interacted with someone since…Kendall.

Yup. There he was. Again."I don't know. I'm kind of on my own," Stella said softly, her eyes wandering out to the street where more people bundled up in scarves and hats passed. It was true. She was on her own, in every sense of the word. She then smiled proudly, the false sense of pride easily seen through Coopers eyes.

"You too, huh? Seems like there's more kids out on these streets every day," Cooper said shaking his head in what seemed like disgust. Stella looked up at him and smiled a bit at the boy's funny pronunciation of certain words due to his accent, and how his hair swept across his brow.

"Where are you staying?" Stella asked him.

Cooper chuckled and pointed up, Stella's eyes following his finger to a rickety old fire escape with a broken window entrance to the adjacent, abandoned apartment building. Stella curled her lower lip out impressed by his find and chuckled.

"What 'bout you?" Cooper asked her. Stella sighed and shrugged.

"Park benches, places like that," Stella said shamefully. Cooper chuckled and stuck his hands in his pockets again and sighed, the steam puffing from his mouth menacingly.

"Well, I guess I could be more gentlemanly 'bout this, but I mean, you could stay with me if you'd like. It's not the warmest up here, but must be better than a park bench in the snow and ice," he chuckled out, looking down at the floor and then back in Stella's eyes.

She smiled at the boy, instantly feeling more comfortable with him. In her heart, she knew she shouldn't go with him, seeing as that even though he was a runaway, she had no idea _who_ he was. But then again, she had no idea who Kendall was when she first met him.

"Alright. I'll come," Stella said with a smile, as the boy smiled back at her with a toothy grin, his teeth oddly straight.

"Well alright then, let's get," he said laughing. He turned his back to Stella and jumped up, pulling down the ladder to the fire escape quite quietly. He turned to Stella and saw her face look confused by the fact there was no sound and he laughed again.

"I've gots lot of practice, darlin'," he said with an adorable smirk. Stella smile coyly and blushed a bit, biting her lower lip as the steel ladder hit the snowy pavement. She looked at him clueless and he motioned his arms out to her.

"Ladies first," he said, allowing Stella to climb up the fire escape.

She did so, her bag fastened on her back as Cooper followed her. As she got to the level, climbed in the broken window covered with a heavy comforter, she looked around the open apartment and saw that while abandoned, old, and dusty, it wasn't half bad. She saw that Cooper had set up house in the living room, with an old mattress and some sheets, papers scattered around everywhere.

"This is a lot nicer than where I have been sleeping lately," Stella chuckled out, putting her bag down on the floor and walking around with a smile, hands in her coat pockets. Cooper followed her inside and chuckled looking around.

"Yeah, it does me good. Shouldn't be no one sleeping out on park benches in this weather," he said, raising his body on his toes and looking around his apartment with a small smile. Cooper smiled at Stella and began to walk towards her on the creaky floorboards.

"So Amanda," he said with a smile, looking down at Stella with soulful, horribly hypnotizing blue eyes. "What brought you to _my_ alley?"

* * *

"Hey mom, could you get us more sodas?" Carlos asked loudly from the basement downstairs.

"Carlitos, I'm busy. Go get them yourself, you have two legs!" Marta Garcia shouted from the upstairs level, washing dishes in the kitchen.

Carlos sighed and looked at his friends who were all greatly engrossed in the Wild game. Even though it was a Monday night, and the boys had school tomorrow, they would definitely **not** pass up a chance to all witness the Wild beat the pants off the Vancouver Canucks.

"Oh, come **_on_**, Nystrom! Look **_alive!_**" James shouted at the television, slumping back in his seat as the Canucks center passed the player on the ice easily.

Luckily the play was recovered as Carlos looked around at his friends. Logan sat against the black leather couch of the Garcia's basement with his legs folded looking anxiously up at the screen with a smile on his face, James was totally, angrily, engrossed in the game, and Kendall slumped against the other end of the couch with a glazed look over his green eyes.

"Hey, Logie. You gonna get me some Wild gear back from Los Angeles when you go?" James asked his friend, as a loud buzzer on the television signaled the end of the second period. Logan looked back at James and shot the boy a look as his heart dropped into the depths of his stomach. Hoping.

He hadn't gotten the _final_ word yet, but he was **_hoping_** that when he returned home tonight, he'd be able to come into school the next day and tell Kendall that he was invited to Los Angeles with him and his dad, _and_ that the two boys would be enjoying watching the Wild play the Kings together.

All was silent, Carlos trekking up the stairs to get soda for his friends as James turned to look at Kendall, who had barely said anything all night. The conversation he had heard between Amy and Stephanie _still_ was in the boy's mind, angering him that Kendall was making himself so upset about this stupid girl he was probably **_never_** going to see again.

"What's the matter dude?" James asked his best friend, with a hint of attitude in his voice. Kendall didn't seem to notice.

"Nothing," the boy muttered out miserably, his eyes watching the television as all the players began to descend off the ice and into the locker rooms, something the boys themselves were used to.

James swallowed hard and angrily. He had bit his tongue too many times. This new, depressed, psychosomatic Kendall was just not working for him, Carlos or Logan, and knowing they wouldn't have the guts to say it, James had to. It was eating him up inside. All he wanted to do was shake Kendall by the shoulders and tell him to wake up from this lovesick nightmare he was in.

This just proved his opinion _so_ much more right.

"Is it because you haven't gotten a letter back from Stella yet?" Logan asked his friend softly, gearing his head up towards the boy. Kendall sighed deeply and closed his eyes, which was basically a yes, as James let out a purposely, audible grumble. The boy's green eyes shot open, and Logan's neck craned to James with a stern look.

"What?" Kendall asked confused at James. James looked at Kendall, crossing his arms across his chest angrily and chuckling in disbelief.

"You _really_ think you're going to get a letter back from her, don't you?" James asked the boy honestly. Logan's face dropped and he bit his lower lip, glaring at James as Kendall sat up a bit on the couch, more alert and he nodded.

"Yes. She's my girlfriend. I love her. Why wouldn't I get a letter back?" Kendall asked James with a hint of anger in his voice. James sighed deeply, laughing and mocking the boy.

"You've been sitting around here since you've got back, taking up_ all_ your time thinking of this stupid girl, who hasn't sent you a letter back, _probably_ because she didn't "fall in love with you" like you think she did, Kendall. You're wasting your life away waiting for a stupid letter, from a** stupid** girl that you are never going to see again, and it's—it's just so sad watching you be so goddamn miserable all the time," James ranted out after a short breath.

Logan watched James with his mouth slightly agape, as Kendall stared daggers into the pretty boy's hazel eyes. James had to admit, that glare from anyone was _never_ good news, and _especially_ not from Kendall Knight.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Kendall spoke out calmly. James' eyes got wide with surprise. He hadn't expected that. Neither had Kendall.

"J-jealous? You think I'm jealous that you went on vacation, **finally** got laid, and now you think you're in love with some runaway girl who you knew for a week?" James scoffed at Kendall from the other side of the couch, his breaths getting heavier.

"You're jealous that I'm in love. You're jealous that no matter _how_ many girls you sleep with, you're never going to find love, and you **_know_ **itJames," Kendall said at his face with menacing green eyes. It was something the boy had kept near and dear to him at all times about James. He had noticed it through the years with all of James' sexual conquests. But if James was saying the things_ he_ wanted to say, Kendall would do the same.

"Pah! You gotta be kidding me if you **_really_**think I'm jealous that you are in 'love'," James scoffed gleefully. "Why do you want to be in 'love' anyway? Why want something so _awful_? Love **ruins **dreams, Kendall. You think you're gonna get on that TV screen," he said pointing to the Wild game, "with the love and support of some woman you're screwing just so you don't have to jerk off anymore?" James exclaimed angrily, Logan with wide eyes shifting away from the feuding bunch, not being able to say a thing. Kendall's thick eyebrows were furrowed down in a menacing expression.

"Fuck you, James. You're jealous and you know it! Don't even try to deny it!," Kendall yelled out at the brown haired boy. "You want love that you're **_never_ **going to get because you push people away cause you're so goddamned **scared** all the time! You do it with all the girls you actually like. You fuck them senseless, and tell them to get out of your room because you're scared you might actually have feelings for one! God for_bid_!" Kendall yelled throwing his hands up in the air, raising his voice.

James was silent as he licked his lips, breaths coming from his tightly closed lips in sharp, straight streams. He was angry as a bull.

"She **doesn't** love you, and you're making yourself miserable over this stupid goddamned letter that is never going to come!" James screamed, his face red. Kendall's green eyes seemed to light up with fire as his fists clenched at his sides. "Look at what you did to Stephanie! The girl has been in love with you for two years, you take her out on the worst date in history, and then tell her you—you're in love with some girl you met over vacation?" James said angrily, his entire face beet red. "You picked some floozy, blonde headed, fucked up **mental case** to "fall in love with"," he added in with a mocking tone, "and you totally ignore everyone else around you. This bitch is messing you up beyond belief," James screamed at his friend. "She's probably up there **fucking** someone else right now, Kendall!" he yelled with fire in his hazel eyes.

Kendall Knight had **had **it. Suddenly, he was in Thief River Falls again, standing up to Alex Callum.

Kendall lunged across the couch angrily, taking an immediate swing at James' face as Logan sprang into action, watching the scene unfold before him, as if he were expecting it.

"Don't you **ever** talk about her like that!" Kendall screamed at James, causing a racket in the basement. The boy delivered one swift right hook to his nose, straddling his best friend, as Logan did his best to pull Kendall off of James. Luckily, Kendall had only gotten that one swing in, giving James' a bloody nose, as Logan pushed roughly Kendall against the wall of the Garcia's basement, the boy hitting the wall with a loud thud, his fist bloodied and raised, his breaths ragged and sharp.

"Fuck!" James exclaimed, holding his nose, which was pouring blood. Logan ran to the downstairs bathroom just a few yards away and grabbed a towel, as Kendall looked on in hopeless misery. Logan stared at Kendall with disapproving, confused eyes. Marta and Carlos rushed downstairs, confused.

"What happened here?" she asked nervously, running over to James, seeing the dark, red blood drip down his chin, falling on his light purple v-neck.

"I got towels," Logan said softly, sitting James down on the couch gently, tipping his head back and aiding to him. Marta ran over and sat next to James, touching his shoulders affectionately as the boy winced from the pain. Carlos, who had a bottle of soda in his hand looked at Kendall confused. Kendall was sitting on the carpet, up against the wall, his bloodied fist still raised, the Latino giving him a confused, upset look.

Kendall watched as Carlos came next to him, and gently sat down with him, Kendall's eyes watering, tugging at his bottom lip, his hand shaking.

"You alright, buddy?" Carlos asked him softly. Kendall turned to Carlos with the saddest green eye the boy had ever seen and swallowed hard before speaking.

"No."


	14. Understandings

**A/N: Another rousing chapter of Hooked! I think you guys will enjoy this week. A bit more Carlos and James this chapter :D I love Mrs. Diamond!  
There is also a bit of a M rated scene towards the end, so be prepared.**

**Here is a snipper of CH 6 of Past The Sorrow**** from the amazingly talented waterwicca. You MUST read this. You will NOT be disappointed, I PROMISE :D**

Sage and Kendall brushed their lips together in a light swift motion, tempting fate and each other. Karen could appear at any moment.

And here is a WONDERFUL snippet of Chapter Six of

"We have to get ourselves under control," Sage suggested, but she made no effort to move away.

"I agree," Kendall spoke, only leaning into her body more.

"Maybe we should start by taking a step back, or at least start breathing our own air," Sage whispered, her lips still lingering near his own as they both grinned.

"On the count of three," he suggested, knowing neither of them wanted to make the first move. Sage nodded slowly.

"One," Kendall started, his grip on her hips tightening.

"Two," Sage continued.

"Sage!" Karen called from the kitchen suddenly, and the two of them jumped apart. Their trance was officially broken.

"Three…" Sage whispered at Kendall with a laugh just as Karen came into view.

"Sage, would you like to stay for dinner?" Karen asked, wiping a towel against her hands.

"I'd love to… but only if you let me help," Sage insisted with a warm smile.

"That would be nice," Karen smiled back as she turned to the kitchen and Sage followed. Kendall made a move to walk with Sage, but she stopped him. When his mother was out of earshot, she spoke.

"It's probably better if you stay in the living room," she declared with a stern stare that was betrayed by a smirk.

"Why?" Kendall pouted and took a step closer to her.

"That's why!" Sage whispered, laughing quietly as she took a step back. "When we get too close, it's painfully obvious something is going on. Even Katie could see it," she explained, fighting to keep a small space between them.

"You're right," Kendall nodded, a look of determination crossing his features. "We'll just keep our distance until we learn to keep ourselves in check around my family."

"Agreed," Sage smiled with the same determined look. They stared at each other for a moment before Sage suddenly leaned forward. Before he knew what was happening, she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss. Almost as quickly as it began, Sage ended it by taking multiple steps back. She wore a guilty smile as she continued moving backwards, heading for the kitchen.

"Tease!" Kendall joked in a whisper after he regained his senses. Sage stuck her tongue out at him.

"You love it!" she whispered back with a wide smirk. He shot her a look that said he clearly couldn't argue. They both waved goodbye as she entered the kitchen.

Sage disappeared from view and Kendall forced himself into the living room with dragging feet. He sat on the sofa and stared straight ahead at the black screen of the television as if it would distract him from the fact that Sage and his mother were alone in a room without him. He decided it may work better if he turned the television on.

Kendall grabbed the remote with a sigh and quickly flipped to one of the sports channels. They were showing a rerun of a hockey game he'd already seen. So, he didn't even get excited when two of the players started fighting in the middle of the ice. The distraction wasn't working at all, and it only got harder when he could hear laughter in the kitchen.

Kendall immediately perked up. Laughing was a good sign. It meant that they were bonding, and if his mother liked Sage then she wouldn't disapprove when Kendall finally admitted she was his girlfriend. It didn't even matter that they may be laughing over some embarrassing story of his childhood. He would even grab his old baby book if it meant they would get along. No action seemed necessary, though, because he heard more soft laughter and voices from his mother and Sage.

He almost fell off of the couch when the crowd cheered on the television. Kendall had been deep in thought and wasn't paying attention. Somehow he managed to move most of the top half his body so it was leaning over the side of the furniture. He realized he had been trying, unsuccessfully, to peer down the hall and into the kitchen. After catching himself, right before hitting the floor, he heard Katie come down stairs.

"What are you doing?" his little sister asked with her arms crossed.

Kendall looked up from his position. His head was near the hard wood floor and he had one hand against it to hold himself up. His lower half was still thrown across the seat.

"I-I dropped something," he stuttered, trying to recover. He still didn't move from the awkward position as Katie continued.

"Oh really? What did you drop?" she spoke with a knowing smirk. Kendall had to think for a second. Earring? Contact? His ears weren't pierced and he had 20/20 vision.

"The remote," he replied uncertainly, almost as if it were a question.

"It's right next to you," Katie laughed as she walked around and picked it up from its spot next to Kendall on the couch. She sat beside him and started flipping through the channels.

"Whatever," Kendall sighed and pushed himself back into his seat before changing the subject. "Hey, I was watching that!" Katie continued looking through the channels, leaving the hockey game he didn't really care about behind.

"No you weren't. You were watching the floor," Katie told him in a know-it-all tone.

"Brat," Kendall joked, poking her ribcage.

"Jerk," she shot back with a wide smile as they fell into their usual banter. "Where's Sage?" she suddenly asked, looking around the room. "Did she realize how big of a loser you are and run?" she smiled and threw the remote down between them after finding nothing worth watching.

"Please, I'm amazing," Kendall rolled his eyes playfully and nudged Katie's legs with the toe of his sneaker. Katie smiled softly at him.

"You're totally head over heals aren't you?" she asked.

"So!" Kendall replied defensively while putting one leg on the couch, thinking Katie was trying to pick on him.

"It's good!" Katie reassured him with a sincere smile that let Kendall know she was being serious. "Sage is really cool, and you're dorkishly happy. I haven't seen you like this since I was about four and we were still in Minnesota with your friends Carlos, James, and Logan."

"You remember that?" Kendall asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, one of my earliest memories is the four of you having the time of your lives during a pillow fight in the living room. You broke a lamp, and Mom only let me have pancakes the next morning… The rest of you had to eat oatmeal," she answered with a giggle.

"You're right," Kendall admitted with a laugh. "I almost forgot about that…"

"I'm glad you found someone that makes you feel like you did before. I may be young, but I know Minnesota was home to you," Katie added softly.

"Sometimes I forget how mature you are, Baby Sister," Kendall spoke with a proud smile. Katie just rolled her eyes and smiled slightly at the compliment. More laughter came from the kitchen and Kendall immediately tensed up. His eyes and upper body started heading toward the hall again. He had forgotten Sage was in there with his mom.

"You have to calm down. You look nervous, and you're never nervous," Katie said as she tugged his arm so that he wouldn't go over the side like earlier.

"I really need this to work out," Kendall replied warily with a gesture towards the kitchen.

"It's going fine… and if something does happen, then you'll just fix it like you always do," Katie responded nonchalantly as she picked the remote back up and started searching through the channels once again.

"You're right," Kendall decided with a smirk while watching the TV with his sister. He was confident that, no matter what, everything would be alright in the end because he would make sure he still had Sage.

**It's amazing right? Yeah you MUST go read. I promise you, that you will NOT be disappointed :D :D**

**I don't own anything except for Stella, and my other OC's. I do not own Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift.**

* * *

_Chapter Fourteen: Understandings_

It had been twenty hours since Stella had met Cooper, and she could already feel tension between them. Not that anything was wrong between the two 'friends' who had met on the streets, but more so _sexual_ tension. Stella, who had been in a whirlwind of being touched, and pleased by Kendall for an entire, amazing week, had to admit she felt quite empty without the comforting kisses of someone on her lips.

Even though she constantly tried to push away the love for she so obviously had for Kendall Knight, it seemed as she pushed further and further, her love came back quicker, and greater.

Stella slept soundly on the mattress Cooper had so generously offered to her when she "moved" in, encased in a seemingly unfit paradise of thick blankets and comforters which weren't even too dirty. She sighed as she felt a cold hand on her warm forehead, pushing back her blonde hair gently. Stella's crystal blue eyes shot open, and she smiled upon seeing a similar pair stare right back at her, Cooper kneeling beside her bed, a bit startled that she had actually awoken.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to wake ya," Cooper spoke softly, his voice wavering a bit.

Stella smiled a bit and stretched out her body, cracking her neck and resting back on the pillows comfortably with a thin smile on her lips. She felt like she was in some sort of grand hotel she always heard people talking about, where you could just lie in bed all day and not have to worry about anything else in your life. She had never been able to do that.

Not since Kendall.

"It's alright," she said with a soft smile.

"You just look so pretty when you sleep," Cooper said nervously, with a forced, embarrassed blush.

Cooper, whose hand still rested on Stella's hair, raked his thin fingers through the blonde hair with a tantalizing smile on his face, his brows in an expression Stella had never seen before. She smiled up at him as he slowly began to inch his face near hers. Stella looked at him a bit confused, but then immediately smiled once she knew what was going to happen.

The boy slowly lowered his face down to Stella's, and slowly pressed his lips against hers. Stella's entire body seemed to convulse with the touch of Cooper's lips towards hers. They were dangerously chapped, they tasted like salt, and they were nowhere _near_ as plump and soft as Kendall's.

Cooper pulled away slowly with a grin on his face as Stella bit her lip confused, but a bit happy. The comfort of someone's lips on hers made her feel alright. Cooper was alright. He was just like her.

He had run away from the shelter in North Dakota he had been in at fifteen, and had been living on the streets ever since. The boy had settled here in Cumberland the past two months, and luckily, hadn't been found out by anyone in the small, dirty, yet comforting apartment he called home. That was all Stella knew about him in the twenty some odd hours they had spent together. She liked having a comrade, it made her feel somewhat safe, even if she didn't have any idea who Cooper Harris _really_ was.

Stella looked up with him with a smile on her face. He was cute, with his small button nose, crooked smile, empowering blue eyes and dingy brown hair. Stella could imagine them cuddling up during extra cold nights on the mattress, hugging each other for warmth, Cooper planting light kisses on her nose, telling her she was beautiful.

It wasn't that Stella wanted to be enamored with Cooper, it was just easier that way.

He was like her. She was like him.

Things could work out this way.

This is what Stella deserved.

Stella leaned up to Cooper's lips again, and softly kissed them, her hand slinging around his thin, pale neck as their lips moved in unison. Cooper instantly parted Stella's lips with his tongue, the blonde girl surprised at his force as he began to passionately kiss her, his ice cold hands holding onto her arms tightly.

Stella couldn't say she felt comfortable at the moment.

But this is what she deserved.

* * *

Carlos sat on his bed, sitting on his fists, his breathing heavy.

"That is **my** boy!" Carlos heard his father say loudly, screaming at his mother. Carlos closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, trying to block everything out.

"Don't pull that **bullshit, **Peter! He is just as much mine as he is yours, he's **our** son, and I'm sick and tired of you always thinking what is best for him!" Marta screamed at her ex-husband, the tears in her voice evident. Carlos stared at the wood door across the room that separated him from the fury in his living room.

This hadn't been an unfamiliar event in the Garcia house when Carlos was a young boy, but now, even when he was sixteen, his parents still fought tooth and nail over him, every decision that was about him, everything that had to do with him. This hadn't happened in years, and Carlos was shaken by the words he heard from his living room. It seemed that his heart had fully healed from all the horrible words his father had said to his mother, but what Carlos didn't know is that both his mother and father's pain had thrown daggers into his young, growing heart, and that it could **never** fully be healed.

"I **FUCKING **HATE YOU MARTA!" Carlos heard his dad yell out loudly.

Carlos bit his lower lip, and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the tears he knew were forming in his eyes. He fisted the comforter on his bed violently; his breathing heavy as he heard a loud slam and something crash.

Carlos let his tears fall down his cheeks, his hands shaking as he bit his lower lip white. He couldn't bring himself to move, or to speak. He was brought back to being six years old, and hearing his father angrily slam the front door to the house as his mother sobbed in the kitchen, not knowing that their screaming had kept their little boy up well past his bedtime. Carlos would cry himself to sleep on nights like those, each of them being another little stab at his heart.

Carlos' thoughts were interrupted by a loud slam of the front door, signaling his father's departure. The boy blinked, and quickly wiped his tears away, ashamed for crying in the first place. He took a deep breath and got up from his bed, shakily walking the few feet it took to get to the door. He stared at it and took a deep breath, opening it and looking out into the hallway. He could hear his mother's sobs from the living room, as he took a few careful steps forward on the wood floor. He touched the mauve wall of the hallway, and peeked his head out the doorway, seeing his mother in hysterics on the couch. Her short black hair seemed to fall over her face in comfort as she sobbed into her hands.

As much as Carlos always loved his father, he _always_ felt bad for his mother. He had seen what a divorce could do to a woman firsthand. There were nights she barely ate because she was either too exhausted from working a nine hour day and went straight to bed after cooking for her son, or that she was too upset to eat. To say Marta Garcia was in a depression could have been accurate, and Carlos was constantly concerned with how upset she was. It made him angry at his father sometimes, because of how he treated her. It didn't matter of if she was his ex-wife or not, she was his **mother**, and Carlos felt that his father should've kissed the ground she walked on for being so strong, and independent, raising Carlos by herself.

Carlos cautiously stepped over to his mother, swallowing hard. He gently, with no words, took a seat next to her on the couch, immediately putting a hand on her expanding and contracting back. Marta looked up at her son with watery, red, defeated eyes. Carlos bit his lower lip and tried his best to be strong and not burst into the tears he felt were coming. Marta sighed deeply and Carlos swiftly pulled his mother into his arms and hugged her tightly, kissing her mess of black hair, and pulling her towards his body.

"I love you, mom," Carlos spoke softly, his voice a bit weak from the silence. Marta did nothing but nod into her son's chest, letting out a loud cry.

"You're the only one I love Carlitos," Marta cried into him, holding onto him like she never wanted to let go. Carlos swallowed the lump in his throat, and snuggled into his mother more, as a thousand things ran through his mind.

* * *

"_I remember every look upon your face, the way you roll your eyes the way you taste, you make it hard for breathing."_Kendall's voice seemed a bit wary as he strummed his guitar softly. The way his fingers felt over the strings was odd and painful. His soft fingertips weren't used to the callus playing guitar so graciously offered, but even more painful, was the fact that when he opened his eyes, his father wasn't next to him.

Kendall hadn't played guitar since his father had died, and quite frankly, he didn't know why all of a sudden, today, he decided to pick it up, dust it off, tune it and strum a few chords.

Maybe it was the fact that last night he had punched his best friend in the face and they weren't talking. Or maybe it was the fact that Logan had surprised him today, by offering him an invitation to California with him and his dad at the end of the month. Maybe it was the fact that he **still** hadn't received a letter from Stella. Kendall didn't know what it was, but he needed to get away.

Kendall winced a bit at the chord he played, re-adjusting the capo on his guitar to his liking. He was trying his hardest to fit the chords he had in his head to Stella's song he had written her for Christmas. He could just imagine how beautiful it would be to see her smiling as she listened to his voice. Kendall knew if he got the chance to sing in front of her, that he would make sure he wasn't nervous this time around. But even the first time he sang in front of her, he wasn't that nervous. It was like Stella was a performing muse for him, because when he sang to her, he wasn't afraid of anything, just like it was when he sang with his dad.

Kendall sighed, and took the pencil from behind his ear and wrote down some possible chord combinations down on a piece of loose leaf beside him.

"Haven't heard you play that thing in a while," Carlos spoke softly from the doorway.

Kendall looked up from what he was doing, his face a bit red and embarrassed as he licked his lips nervously, shoving the pencil back behind his ear, and taking the guitar from his lap. He hadn't asked his friend to come over or anything like that, but Kendall felt as if he was expected even though Carlos had just appeared out of nowhere.

"Yeah, I know," Kendall said embarrassed as Carlos took the initiative to walk into the boy's room, shutting the door closed behind him. Carlos took a seat on the bed next to Kendall with a deep sigh, his hands hitting his thighs with the emphasis and stress of a long day. Kendall moved over a bit, resting his guitar on the floor against his bed as Carlos let out a small chuckle.

"Well, I mean, you could've kept playing, dude," Carlos said with a small smile. Kendall looked at the boy with a nervous smirk, and shook his head.

"Nah," Kendall said bashfully, his face tinting red a bit. Carlos looked at him with begging brown eyes.

"What if I **ask** you to play?" Carlos asked with a small, deceiving grin. Kendall looked at him awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck and sighed deeply, avoiding the question. Carlos motioned to the paper with his chin, clasping his hands pleasantly.

"What's that?" he asked curiously. Kendall looked over at the sheet and picked it up, knowing that if he didn't tell Carlos exactly what it was, that the boy would keep asking and asking until Carlos got it out of him.

"Well I uh-wrote and sang a song for Stella for Christmas, and I'm trying to put some chords to it," Kendall said embarrassedly, his face turning a bit blush as he looked at the paper. Carlos smiled and chuckled, playfully punching his arm.

"What a romantic you are Kendall Knight," he joked with his friend, eliciting a small chuckle from Kendall who looked very pained and upset. Carlos knew he hadn't gotten a letter back yet, he knew that Kendall and James weren't talking, and he also knew that playing the guitar instantly made Kendall remember his father.

"Why don't you show me what you have so far?" Carlos asked with a smile. Kendall sighed deeply and looked into Carlos' eyes, knowing that boy really wanted him to play. He knew that his friends had heard him sing his father's favorite song at the cemetery, and since then, Carlos had brought up singing to Kendall a few times in fact. Kendall sighed deeply, realizing that he really _did_ want someone else to hear this, since it had to be perfect for Stella.

"Alright," Kendall said unconfidently, picking up his guitar and slinging it around his neck, as Carlos gave his best friend more room, and looked at him with excited, lively eyes.

After the afternoon he had with his mother and father fighting, Carlos had moseyed on over to Kendall's house, seeing if the boy maybe wanted to hang out for a bit or just talk. He couldn't stay in his house any longer and watch his mother cry. Mrs. Knight and Katie who were downstairs watching television had directed him up to Kendall's room where he had listened from the hallway to the boy's beautiful voice ring through the wood door of his room, and smiled peacefully, seeming to forget all about the reason he was here in the first place.

Kendall took a deep breath, readjusting the loose leaf in front of his eyes and tapping his fingers and pick against the body of his guitar, trying to take the chords he had written down in his memory. Carlos looked at how the boy's fingers on the neck of guitar made the chord shapes effortlessly and gracefully, as if he hadn't missed a beat in playing, even though it had been a while. Kendall took a deep breath and closed his eyes, and began to play.

"_I remember what you wore on the first day, you came into my life and I thought hey you know this could be something."_His voice started off a bit shaky, but by the last word, it was strong and as confident as ever. Carlos' mouth hung a bit agape as he watched the talent of his best friend, amazed that Kendall had hid this from everyone. Kendall continued singing, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile when his voice went a bit higher; his eyes closed the entire time as if he was lost in his own little world.

When he finished what he had so far, and played the final chord, he opened his green eyes and saw Carlos there, absolutely memorized by his voice. Carlos swallowed hard and then looked at Kendall in awe, chuckling.

"Dude, seriously? How did **we** not know you had a voice?" Carlos asked his best friend with wide, amazed eyes. Kendall licked his lips and shrugged with a small, embarrassed smirk.

"So, it was alright?" Kendall asked humbly. Carlos rubbed his hands together and sat on the edge of the bed shaking his head.

"Gotta be honest with you dude," he said in a disappointed tone of voice. Kendall looked at his friend's confused and fearful, but suddenly Carlos' entire body turned to him with a _swoosh_ and the boy grabbed his shoulders and shook him excitedly. "That was **fucking** amazing, Kendall!"

Kendall smiled widely, looking at the excitement that coursed through Carlos' veins as the boy bounced on his bed with laughter and glee. "Really?" he asked.

"Kendall, can you _**please**_ like join choir at school or something like that? Please? You sing like the people on American Idol do, and I'm talking about the good auditions, not the bad ones!" Carlos said with a passion in his voice, a bit of a Spanish accent that usually seemed to come out when he was overjoyed or angry about something peeking through his r's and n's.

Kendall chuckled at his friend's excitement, settling his guitar on the floor and sighing. "I don't know. I'd have to think about it," he said honestly. "Choir I mean, not American Idol. I'm no famous superstar," he said with a chuckle.

The reaction he had gotten from Carlos was absolutely enthralling, especially since Kendall had never played and sang in front of his _friends_ before, but he didn't know if he could handle letting people he _wasn't _friends with sing.

"Jeez, you and James would **kill** at school shows," Carlos said, almost forgetting the soreness Kendall had towards his best friend. Kendall sighed loudly and cocked his eyebrows a bit frustrated, tucking the pick into the strings of his guitar and setting it down back on the floor.

"Yeah, if we were talking," he mumbled out a bit upset, swallowing hard.

Carlos sighed. Today at school had been horrible. James had retreated to the chorus room, skipping lunch all together, and Kendall just sat there picking at his sandwich miserably, while Carlos and Logan enthused about how the Wild were on a winning streak. James hadn't talked to Kendall at all, his nose and ego still pretty badly bruised from Kendall's fist. "You haven't talked since?" Carlos asked dumbly. Kendall, who was obviously upset by the fact shook his head no and got up off the bed, his guitar in hand, bringing it back to the corner of the room. Carlos looked down at his hands and sighed.

"I'm sure if you just talk to him, everything is gonna be fine, Kendall. You know James never stays mad at anyone," Carlos said with a joking manner, the blonde boy approaching the bed again and sitting down. Kendall sighed as he sat, running his now sensitive fingers through his blonde hair sighing.

"I don't know, Carlos. He just—he doesn't get it. He doesn't even _try_, and it-it bothers me so much," Kendall said, closing his eyes in frustration. He sighed deeply. "He doesn't know _anything_ about Stella, and he just dismisses this as some infatuation. If I didn't love her, I wouldn't be **doing** all of this," Kendall spoke with an agitated tone of voice, staring into his tan friend's eyes, hoping he would understand. "I love her so much, I _always_ will."

"I know," Carlos said briefly, scratching his neck at the awkward topic. He really didn't want to talk about this with Kendall right now, not after what he had just left in his _own_ house. Carlos wasn't sure he could handle love talk. He also wasn't sure he could accurately side with Kendall about all of this, due to his own suspicions about Kendall and Stella's relationship that he wouldn't dare tell him now.

"So you uh—going to California with Logan and his dad?" Carlos asked with a smile. Kendall sighed and rubbed his forehead pained.

"I—I don't know yet. I mean, my mom said if I wanted to go that I could cause she already talked to Logan's dad, but I'm not sure if I want to," Kendall spoke softly. Carlos looked at his best friend confused, raising an eyebrow.

"You…**don't** wanna go to California?" Carlos asked with a chuckle, Kendall smiling at his friend's innocence on the situation.

"I mean, it would really be a great trip, but I don't know if I wanna intrude on Logan's time with his father…" Kendall spoke unsure, Carlos _knowing_ that there was definitely another reason. Kendall looked down at his feet silently in deep thought, as silence fell in the room like a heavy blanket. Instantly, and painfully. "And I-I don't know if I can go without getting upset about everything. Especially since I was supposed to be at that game with my dad," Kendall spoke out softly.

Carlos frowned. While sometimes his dad wasn't his favorite person because of all the stuff he did to his mother, Carlos couldn't _imagine_ his father dying, and not having him there with him to help him. It didn't matter if his parents were divorced. Peter was _still_ his father.

"I know it'll be hard, man, but don't you think since your dad went out of his way to get them for you so in advance, that he'd_ really _want you to go?" Carlos spoke softly, trying his hardest not to his any sensitive spots inside his best friend. Kendall sighed and nodded half smiling.

"Yeah. I wish he could've given them to me, He would've been_ so_ excited to see my face, I just know it," Kendall whispered past thin lips. Carlos rested a hand on Kendall's back and gave him a reassuring pat with a smile.

"He would've been. And he would want you to go to this game like you were supposed to go, Kendall. Your father got you these tickets because hockey is something you love to watch, and play," Carlos said in a low soothing voice. "He'd want you to enjoy it."

Kendall looked down at his hands, fidgeting with them a bit and sighed deeply, nodding his head and shaking his leg a bit nervous. He looked up at Carlos with a small smile. It was true. Kendall knew that his father would want him to go to that game, and experience seeing the Wild play out of state. Given all the obstacles he had faced, he'd _never_ thought that it would ever happen when his father passed, and now, it could happen.

"He would want me to enjoy it, wouldn't he?" Kendall asked with a smirk. Carlos nodded and patted his back once more before bringing his hands to his own lap and chuckling.

"Yup. And that's exactly why you should take this once in a lifetime opportunity and go to California with Logan, **watch** that game, and **have** a good time. Cause you deserve it, man," Carlos said with a smile, punching Kendall's shoulder playfully, the boys both exchanging smiles of understanding and happiness, something Carlos hadn't seen on Kendall's face in a while.

* * *

James sat in the back den of his house drinking a large, cold, frothy glass of soda and mindlessly watching MTV. He brought his hands to his nose, and touched the tender bridge, which was still a bit swollen and bruised from Kendall's fist. He hadn't uttered a word to Kendall since the incident, avoiding him all day at school under all costs. He had skipped lunch with his best friends, and hadn't even really bothered to talk to Logan or Carlos. James was embarrassed about what happened, and also incredibly angry. He knew Kendall had problems with his anger, and sometimes he got a bit violent, but _this_ was out of line.

He just didn't understand why Kendall was doing this to himself. James knew that he liked Stella, but to be in love with someone? Especially someone like Kendall, who had **no** sense of love, or relationships. While James' knew love was out there _somewhere_, he _knew_ that it wasn't worth all the bullshit that people make it out to be, and that people got it confused with sex all the time. He figured that's what Kendall was doing, seeing as the boy had lost his virginity to this Stella girl. He was just so frustrated with his friend being so down all the time, and he wanted nothing more than for him to return to fun-loving, controlled Kendall Knight he was before they had broken for Christmas break. It scared him that Kendall could change so rapidly in a week.

James just did **not** understand any of this.

He looked down into his glass of soda, seeing that it was basically empty and sighed, dragging his body up from the couch to go into the kitchen. With a few steps down the carpeted hallway, James made a right turn into the clean cut kitchen his mother had set up, and saw her at the glass table with a smile, flipping through what seemed like a photo album.

James sighed when he entered, and his mother looked right up at him. Lucie had been concerned about James since everything with Kendall happened, noticing that since he came home last night he had barely said word to anyone.

"_Brune,_ come sit," Lucie spoke sweetly to James who stood at the fridge pouring himself another glass of ice cold soda. James looked at his mother with a small half smile, as his mother pulled out a chair for him and patted it eagerly. James had to admit, since getting attacked by Kendall, he hadn't really spoken to anyone at all, and he felt it would be nice to talk to someone, even if it was his mother. And to top it off, MTV just wasn't doing it for him.

James closed the fridge, walked to where his mother was, sat down with a sigh, gently placing the glass of soda on the table, and arched his head to look at the photo album his mother was looking at.

"What are these from?" James said raspily, his voice weak from not speaking. Lucie chuckled, and angled the old photo album to show her son the pictures. On the left page was a large, old photograph of a beautiful young dark haired woman, with a fresh face and bright eyes alongside a tall, muscular looking man, who was wearing hockey gear, and a bright, white smile.

"College. That's me and your father right there after one of his games," Lucie said, pointing a manicured fingernail to the picture on the left. James smiled a bit and chuckled, tugging his lower lip with his teeth, taking in the background of the ice rink in the photo and smiling.

"Wow. You guys made a pretty hot couple," James said with a chuckle. Lucie laughed, and pointed to the other picture on the other page, her and her husband kissing on a dock with the sunset behind them. James smiled again and laughed, the picture below that with them kissing outside of some cabin obviously in the thick of the woods in Minnesota.

"You and dad seemed to kiss a **lot**," James spoke out with a laugh. Lucie nodded and licked her lips.

"Yup. We did, and we still do," Lucie joked out.

James rolled his eyes playfully as his mother turned the page, to a few more pictures scattered on each page. James noticed that every picture of his mother and father, they were always smiling. And James _knew_ it wasn't those fake smiles that people make when they know they are getting photographed, because half of the pictures were all candid shots of Lucie and Jason dancing, or sharing some sort of intimate moment together that their college friends caught on camera. James ran his hands over the smooth laminate of each page, noticing how the old pictures were protected to the death, as if they were the single most important thing in his parents' lives.

"These are all from college?" James asked as_ he_ turned to the next page, and Lucie sighed at the picture that was in front of them. On the left page, there was a picture of Lucie and Jason from one of the banquets that the university had. Lucie donned a strapless, grey evening gown, Jason clad in a tux. James chuckled at the photo, seeing as how the fashions and hairstyles had changed over the past twenty years or so, his dad having a mullet and Lucie having this frizzy, poofy, curly mane.

"Yup," Lucie said, her eyes not leaving the picture on the right.

James turned his eyes to look at it, and instantly, a smile was brought to his face. It was his mother and his father amidst a background of maroon and yellow graduates, Jason hugging Lucie from behind, the picture taken from the side. Their smiles were radiant, each of them wearing a graduation cap, but not gowns. Lucie's head rested back on Jason's chest, his hands around her stomach, holding the small beginnings of a life inside. Lucie's three month pregnant stomach just barely protruded from her light blue dress.

"You know who's in there?" Lucie asked with a small voice, her manicured nail pointing to her pregnant stomach in the photo. James chuckled, his face turning a bit blushed, and he smiled.

"Me?" he asked. Lucie nodded and gently swung James' face over to hers, kissing his cheek with a smile. She took her lips from his cheek with an audible smack and smoothed out the back of his hair, the pretty boy not minding the affection from his mother whatsoever.

"This is one of the first pictures of you," Lucie chuckled out, James joining in.

James looked at the picture and swallowed hard, looking at how incredibly happy, and in love his parents looked. It could've been just because they were graduating college, but James realized that even pictures his parents took now, some odd years later** still** looked the same. His parents were enamored in each other, and they always would be. He turned to his mom and licked his lips, the question he had somewhat _always_ been thinking of in the back of his mind finally coming to his lips.

"Don't you regret it?" he asked softly. Lucie looked at her son confused, and raised a dark eyebrow with a small pursed lip smirk.

"Regret what?" she asked. James sighed and looked down at the picture, then back into his mother's eyes.

"Regret…me. Regret…keeping me, and marrying dad," James asked, his hazel eyes going wide at the question, as if he was five again. He knew it was a silly, innocent question, but he also knew that he needed to hear the answer himself.

"Why would you _ever_ think that? I love you and your father very much," she spoke with wide, concerned eyes, moving one hand to James' hand and another to his shoulder, rubbing it lightly. James shrugged and chuckled a bit uncomfortable at letting his guard down in front of his mother.

"I…I mean. You could've been _famous_, mom. You could've been on television, met all these famous people and been rich. "You would be able to travel anywhere, not have any worries, and wouldn't be stuck in here in Minnesota," his eyes still attached to the picture. "Dad would be a center for the Wild, living his own dream. You both wouldn't have lost _**so**_ much like you did when you had me and got married. You could've done anything you wanted to without _anyone_ holding you back. You could've lived your dreams."

Lucie Diamond leaned down, and kissed her son's luscious brown locks softly, and tipped his chin up to hers, looking at his slightly swollen nose, and the covered up purple bruise he exhibited on the bridge. She smiled at him warmly and James looked at her confused.

"I didn't lose anything, baby," Lucie said with a smile. "And _**none**_ of that would've been _nearly_ as good as the life I'm living now, because I have you and your father," Lucie said with a smile. "Dreams change, _Brune._"

Lucie kissed her son's forehead with a smile, as James looked at his mother in wonder.

Maybe he could learn to understand.

* * *

"It's _freezing_ out there," Cooper said with a shake in his voice, barreling through the broken window. Stella lay on the mattress, engulfed in the covers shivering as she chuckled, Cooper securing the comforter that kept some heat in the apartment. Stella sat up with a small smile on her face.

Since her and Cooper had kissed this morning, she hadn't thought of anything but the way his lips felt on hers, how his skin felt on hers, and how his eyes stared into hers.

Even though he wasn't up front and center, Kendall Knight was still in the back of her mind.

Cooper took off his jacket and hat, and approached Stella with a smile on his thin, bluish lips. He sat down next to her on the mattress with a sigh, and Stella immediately nuzzled into him, ready to spend their second night together.

Cooper leaned in and swiftly kissed her lips, immediately parting Stella's mouth with his tongue, kissing her forcefully. Stella kissed back forcefully, her hand resting on his chest, their lips moving sloppily and uncoordinated against each other.

They parted and Cooper smirked at her, his hand beginning to creep up the back of her sweater. Stella shivered a bit at the cold contact as Cooper leaned into her lips again, and forcefully parted them again with his tongue. Stella was gripped into the kiss as Cooper's hand began to trail up her back, under her sweater, hands still freezing from the cold. Her back stiffened a bit as her hands went around his neck, and she played with the frays of his hair, unfortunately not eliciting any response from him.

Cooper concentrated more on the kissing as Stella let out a small moan into his mouth, the boy's hands going to the clasp of her bra. He quickly undid it and Stella swallowed hard, a bit nervous as she grasped onto his neck tighter, Cooper relinquishing his lips from hers, and going to her ear.

"You're not a virgin, are you?" he whispered in her ear. Stella swallowed hard and nodded no, Cooper smiling widely, and pulling his face away from hers.

"You wanna?" he asked her with a smirk. Stella swallowed hard. She knew this was wrong, but she couldn't deny the absolute pleasure she had felt when she had sex with Kendall. It was mind-blowing. After being so cold, so upset, and so without any love the past few days, maybe this would help her. This could help her forget Kendall **completely**.

Stella swallowed hard and nodded as Cooper took no time in gently pushing her back to the bed. His lips clashed violently with Stella's, her breathing heavily, and her insides shaking a bit. She wasn't nervous when she and Kendall had sex for the first time, and that was _her_ first time. Cooper ravished in her body, his hands trailing down to her jeans, and immediately unbuttoning them. His lips went to her pulse point and he bit down hard, sucking on her neck roughly, as he began to work at her sweater.

Cooper quickly and violently unclothed Stella of her sweater, her bra coming off with it, as she lay back on the mattress topless, her jeans undone. Cooper looked down at the girl in front of him and smiled devilishly, his hands immediately going to her jeans, and pulling them down to her ankles, not bothering to take them off. He roughly pulled down her underwear, leaving her naked in the bitter cold, as he moved down to her lips, kissing them passionately. Stella kissed back, closing her eyes tightly, trying her best to forget about Kendall. Cooper's hands touched her skin, and she felt like someone was pricking her with a pin, his hands so incredibly cold.

He quickly went to his jeans and opened them, unbuttoning his fly. Stella watched, almost paralyzed as Cooper tugged out his erection from his boxers, and her eyes went wide at his size. While Kendall was definitely above average, Cooper was unmistakably larger. Stella swallowed hard, biting her lip nervously as Cooper came over her with a warming smile. He leaned down and kissed her lips, Stella kissing back as well as she could. She then suddenly felt a blinding pain as Cooper surprisingly thrust into her violently.

Tears fell from Stella's eyes down her cheeks at the blinding pain.

She stared up the entire time he ruthlessly and roughly had his way with her, the only thing coming from him were grunts and moans. He didn't kiss her neck as he bucked his hips, but yet squeezed her breasts firmly with each thrust, the growls coming through his throat horrifying to Stella's ears.

She closed her eyes tightly, wishing that it was Kendall above her. Cooper didn't kiss her lips, he didn't tell her she was beautiful, he didn't make sure she was alright. Stella's entire body was filled with pain as Cooper roughly had his way with her, his eyes closed in pleasure as he harshly and erratically thrashed his hips against hers.

Stella didn't feel anything. She could tell Cooper was getting close by the way he bucked his hips into her faster and faster, the moans in his throat strangling him. He then totally abandoned himself of her body as she gripped her hands over her chest, tears falling down her cheeks as Cooper powerfully finished inside of her, not even collapsing on her, but hanging his head in pleasure as worked himself through his own orgasm.

Stella lay there silent, and stone cold, not feeling the slightest bit of pleasure, but incredibly sore and dirty as Cooper looked her in the eyes with a sly smile, breathing heavily. He leaned down to her and pecked her lips platonically, as he harshly pulled out of her and began to tuck himself back into his boxers.

Cooper fixed himself up, as Stella lay there paralyzed, goose bumps covering her white skin, her entire body frozen, underwear and jeans at her ankles. Cooper zipped up his fly and stood up, still a bit breathy and wiped his bangs from his face with a sickening smile. Stella looked at him with hooded, teary eyes.

"Make sure you get dressed, it's cold in here," he spoke with a fake concern in his voice, as he turned from her and walked into the adjoining kitchen of the apartment as if nothing had just happened.

Stella swallowed hard, freezing as she shakily pulled up her underwear and her jeans, her body already sore from Cooper's exertion. Warm tears spilled down her cheeks, and sobs collected in her throat, as she began to dress herself. In the matter of what seemed like five seconds, she was all bundled up, stuffing one of Cooper's blankets in her bag, along with everything she had arrived here with.

Looking back once into the apartment, her entire body still shaking, Stella lifted the comforter to the window with her canvas bag on her back and quickly escaped. Whimpering, she made her way down the shaky fire escape, holding on as well as she could with shaking hands. As her feet hit the ground, she ran down the alley to the street, and commenced running.

She_ had_ to run away. As she ran down the sidewalk in the bitter cold, Kendall Knight came back to her. What had she done? Cooper didn't have Kendall's touch, his voice or his sweet kisses. Stella didn't feel that pleasure she felt when Kendall was inside of her. Cooper had used her. He didn't care about her like she had deluded herself into so foolishly thinking. He didn't want her. Kendall Knight wanted her all along, loved her all along, and here she was, pushing herself away from him, to the point where she had sex with Cooper.

She couldn't push Kendall Knight away any longer. She couldn't deny her feelings for him. Why she had fallen in love with Kendall so quickly was beyond her wildest imaginations, but even so, she couldn't fight it anymore. Stella was going to _have_ to let love in. She didn't have a choice now.

A good distance from the apartment, Stella found a bus stop bench and quickly ran to it. She sat down on the bench, her breathing heavy from the cold, her face flushed with red cheeks and tears, her entire body exhausted. She lay down on the cold, plastic bench, and fervently dipped her hand into her canvas bag. She hit away the blanket of Cooper's which was not going to help her right now, and dug deeper for what she really wanted, what she really _needed_ right now.

She pulled it out and rested her head on the bench, hysterically crying into Kendall Knight's blue cardigan.


	15. Only Human

**A/N: Okay, so I hope this chapter starts to tie up some loose ends in this story, and that you guys aren't totally thinking "huh? Where is she going with this?" But yeah, I hope you guys are enjoying this so far! We're fourteen weeks in, fifteen chapters, and this is indeed excellent :D I'm excited, because BIG things are going to start coming up. Think a Kogan friendship chapter in California next Saturday ;D With some cameos…and Stella and Kendall reunite soon...for a bit...I promise :D I hope y'all also like the way I'm writing the boys! I do!**

**But anyway, PLEASE enjoy this snippet from the wonderful **_**waterwicca**_**'s story about Kendall and Sage, called Past The Sorrow:**

Late in the night, Kendall and Sage followed their usual routine. He drove her home at the same time every night, but this time was different from all the others. Elliot's car was in the driveway… Sage's stepfather came outside as the two teenagers climbed out of the car and stepped onto the lawn.

"You're late… You missed dinner…" Elliot spoke with tight words at Sage when he stood beside them. They had no plans for dinner. They never did. Sage knew something bad was going to happen…

"I'm sorry. I lost track of time…" Kendall watched as the girl made an excuse. Her eyes lost their spark, and her voice lost every ounce of its power. Kendall felt uneasy to say the least.

"It was my fault…" Kendall jumped in to take the blame even though Sage had never mentioned even needing to be home, "… It won't happen again."

"I bet…" Elliot responded smugly, looking to his stepdaughter with a glare before turning to Kendall with a fake smile, "… Why don't you head home now? Your mother's probably waiting, right?" Elliot insisted with a raised brow, his muscular arms crossing in front of his large body.

"Well, probably, but-" Kendall started but Elliot had cut him off.

"Okay. Sage will call you whenever she can," Elliot spoke sternly and turned to walk toward the house but paused when he realized Sage wasn't following him like he had expected her to, "You coming, Sweetie?" Elliot used the term of endearment and laced it with enough venom to make Kendall's heart sink with a feeling he couldn't understand.

"Y-Yeah… Bye Kendall…" Sage gave her boyfriend a small smile and a short wave but he knew her well enough to realize something wasn't right. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were moving from his to the ground in rapid movements. Sage was hiding, but Kendall was having trouble figuring out why because she had never done it before. Why would she be fake with him?

"Bye. I love you…" Kendall smiled sweetly despite his anxiousness, hoping to raise her spirits. He could see the real her shine through the moment she heard him speak. She gave him a genuine smile, making his own body relax.

"I love you too-"

"Sage!" Elliot's voice cut through their connection as he called from the bottom of the porch steps.

Sage was gone again… Her eyes were down. Her smile faded almost instantly, and her shoulders were tense and rigid. She waved at Kendall once before stepping back a few times and turning away completely.

Kendall hesitated for a moment, watching Sage move toward Elliot, and then jumped into his car. He eased away from the curb slowly, feeling more reluctant than ever to leave. He drove down the road at a snail's pace, still feeling uneasy. Something was wrong, and he was struggling to figure it out.

Without thinking, Kendall moved his eyes to the review mirror even though he was sure there was nothing to see. However, he could see Elliot with his hand firmly planted on Sage's arm. She looked uncomfortable but wasn't really pulling away as Elliot spoke to her.

Kendall panicked… He didn't like the sudden feeling in his chest.

"He's just talking to her… Maybe he's just scolding her for being late…" Kendall spoke aloud to himself as he tore his eyes away and back toward the road. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and drove forward for a few more minutes, "… Mind your own business…"

Kendall stopped at an intersection and stared at the black asphalt that lay before him. The light was green, but he wasn't moving. His chest was tight and he couldn't shake it…

Something's wrong…

Something's wrong…

Something's wrong…

"Fuck it… Sage is my business," Kendall gave in to the feeling with a fierce determination and did an illegal turn through the empty intersection, heading back to Sage's house.

When he arrived, Elliot and Sage weren't on the lawn anymore. He jumped out of the car. As he approached the house, he could hear yelling… and then a crash. Kendall sprinted across the grass. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, the front door flew open.

Sage was standing there breathing heavily. Her shirt sleeve was torn and a nasty red mark marred her face.

She and Kendall stared at each other. Shock… Fear… Anger… They all ran through him so fast. Sage looked scared and broken. He just wanted to put her back together, but it felt like his feet were glued to the ground beneath him. His mind was racing, yet not working at all. He was trying to process everything… What's happening?

Sage finally spoke, her panic and surprise evident as she whispered.

"Kendall…"

**Yup, you want to read more, right? Exactly. That's why you have to do it, NOW :D Believe me, you will NOT be disappointed at all! :)**

**And now, on with Hooked, which I hope that you read and review :D**

**I don't own anything except my OC's. I don't own Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift.**

* * *

_Chapter Fifteen: Only Human_

After nearly three weeks of no responses from his runaway girlfriend, Kendall Knight was thrilled when he saw the postman leaf through the letters in his hand, and put some mail in the mailbox. The best part of Kendall Knight's day.

Kendall was peeling an orange at the kitchen counter, a large plate glass window overlooking the Knight's front yard, when he saw Mr. Shaffer, the old, friendly postman placed the letters into the mailbox by the Knight's garbage pails by the curb. Kendall nearly dropped the fruit on the floor, not bothering to sling a jacket on his shoulders as he busted out the door, running to the mailbox in the freezing cold. This had happened every day the past few weeks.

"You crazy, Kendall? It's barely ten degrees out here," the bundled up Mr. Shaffer said with a chuckle, stepping aside as the boy opened the mailbox and stuck his hand inside. His hands grabbed the mail tightly, and he yanked it out of the cold, metal mailbox and his smile grew wide. He had some feeling that finally after _so_ much waiting, that the letter was going to come today.

This is what he had been waiting for. Contact with Stella. He finally wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. He'd know how much she was thinking about him, and how bad she wanted him to visit her, and kiss her.

He shakily sifted through the envelopes, passing some bills, coupons and other useless stuff when he got to the last letter.

It was worse than **anything **Kendall could've expected. He recognized the handwriting immediately. It was his own.

"R-return to sender?" he mumbled softly, reading the red text that had been so horribly stamped over the address to the General Store. The rest of the mail dropped from Kendall's hands on the icy asphalt beneath him, both hands holding the tattered envelope as his green eyes shut down, and his brows furrowed. He turned to Mr. Shaffer confused, the mailman standing by, wondering why Kendall had proceeded to run out here every day in the frigid cold.

"What's the matter kid? A college rejection letter or somethin' like that?" Mr. Shaffer said in a gruff voice, peeking over Kendall's shoulder at the envelope, and seeing the familiar "Return to Sender" stamp. Kendall licked his lips and turned to the mailman in disdain, with wide, soulful, confused green eyes, holding the letter in front of his face.

"W-what does this mean? Why did I get this back? This is _my_ letter that I sent, not hers," Kendall told the old man angrily, as if it was _his_ fault the letter had been sent back. Kendall's heart pumped against his ribcage rapidly, as if a firework had been released inside his chest.

"It means that the address you sent it to either wasn't valid, or that the person who you sent it to doesn't reside there anymore," Mr. Shaffer said casually, a bit taken aback at the boy's attitude. Kendall swallowed hard and looked down at the letter in awe. He had checked the address over a hundred times before he sent it. Kacey Roberts, 35 Main Street, Thief River Falls, MN 56701.

"B-but that doesn't make sense, this is the right address," Kendall said frantically, his eyebrows knitting as he ran a hand through his blonde hair, pushing his bangs back. "I don't, I—I don't understand," he mumbled in horrified awe.

"Sorry, kid. Maybe your girlfriend moved," Mr. Shaffer said in a melancholy tone of voice. Kendall stood frozen outside as Mr. Shaffer walked away to the neighboring house, going to deliver their mail.

A million and one thoughts went through Kendall's mind. Was Stella alright? Did someone find out she was a runaway and send her back to an orphanage? Was she in a hospital somewhere? Did she get put into foster care? Was she _alive_? Kendall sat down on the curb in the freezing cold, just in jeans in a t-shirt and brought his head down to his knees. He grasped the letter in his hand tightly, and let out a deep, labored breath.

* * *

"He didn't sound good on the phone," Carlos said worriedly, sticking his gloved hands into his pockets.

"I thought he texted you?" Logan asked confused. Carlos sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Logie. But you can _tell_ when Kendall isn't Kendall. Especially now that he didn't get his letter he's been waiting **weeks** for back," Carlos spoke sadly, obviously sympathetic for their blonde friend.

Kendall had gone inside from the curb after ten minutes of just sitting there, not even having the heart to re-read the letter he had poured his heart out into. Something was wrong with Stella, and he needed to find out what it was. He had texted Carlos to come over right away, briefly explaining the situation as Kendall sat up in his room just thinking. Carlos in turn told Logan, and the boys decided together to drag James along. Kendall needed all three of his brothers right now.

Upon walking up the icy pathway to the Diamond's front door, Carlos and Logan exchanged looks of nervousness. It wasn't only Kendall that James was ignoring, but Carlos and Logan too. No one had talked to James since the fight two nights before. It had just been Carlos and Logan chatting it up at lunch, while James was off chasing girls, or practicing choir while Kendall sat there miserably at lunch, picking away at his food and sighing deeply.

Carlos knocked on the brown, oak door to the Diamond's house and breathed out a puff of fog from his mouth, rubbing his hands together to try to get warm. Logan gnawed on his bottom lip, as the door opened and Mr. Jason Diamond appeared with a friendly white smile, much like his son's.

"Hey guys, is James expecting you?" he asked lightheartedly, holding the door open for the boys. "Get in here, it's freezing outside," he said with a chuckle, his eyes soft and caring under black, thick framed glasses.

"Uh, no. Not really, Mr. Diamond," Logan said with a cordial, but nervous smile. The two boys took a few steps in the warm, carpeted living room. Jason closed the door behind them, Lucie anxiously coming from the kitchen with a big, red lipped smile.

"Boys! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!" Lucie said gleefully, opening up her arms to her son's best friends. Carlos and Logan couldn't help but chuckle at what was about to happen, as Lucie took them both in a big hug, kissing both their cheeks, leaving a lipstick stain on each of their faces.

"Why do you always have to embarrass the poor kids, Lucie? They aren't here for _you_," Jason laughed heartily, walking into the adjacent kitchen where Lucie had been originally been. Carlos eagerly rubbed the lipstick off his face, as Logan did the same, Lucie looking at the boys a bit surprised.

"Aren't we missing one?" Lucie said with a furrowed brow, as if her eyes subconsciously scoped out for the tall blonde with the bushy eyebrows. Carlos and Logan exchanged sad, disappointed glances and Lucie nodded and swallowed hard, understanding that James and Kendall still weren't talking.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Logan, Carlos and Lucie all looked up at James, who was coming down the stairs, dressed in sweatpants and a black wife beater. His hair, still perfectly done, looked a bit less shiny, his nose still a bit bruised but not swollen. Logan and Carlos turned to their friend, and Lucie smiled.

"Do you boys want some lemonade? Or water?" she asked with a bright, lipstick smile. Carlos was about to put his hand up, ready to demand lemonade, as Logan shoved it down, licking his lips with an affirmative head nod and half smile.

"Thanks Mrs. Diamond, but we are actually on our way to Kendall's house," Logan said politely Carlos scoffing at the smart boy, both friends now looking up at James. James looked down at his mother and widened his eyes and subtly nodded his head to the kitchen, Lucie getting the clue as she chuckled nervously.

"Well, if you boys need anything, don't hesitate to ask," she said brightly, her French accent heavier than usual today. She turned around and left the living room going into the kitchen as James stepped down a few more steps, Carlos and Logan backing up.

"So you're uh—going over to Kendall's?" James asked unsurely, fidgeting with the string on his sweatpants, still a few steps from the ground.

"Yeah…he uh, got a letter back today," Logan said softly with sad eyes. James looked up at Logan with a glimmer in his eye, quite surprised at his comment.

"Oh. So she actually responded?" James asked, a bit of relief in his voice. Even if _he_ didn't believe in this whole Kendall, Stella thing, James knew Kendall did, and for his own sake, and all of Kendall's issues, he hoped something went right in the boy's life, even if it did prove him wrong.

"Uh not…exactly," Carlos spoke out, scrunching up his face like a little kid. James looked at the pair confused, and Logan sighed deeply, his eyes drooping, his lips thin.

"His letter came back. Stella isn't at the general store anymore," Logan reported sadly and somberly, James face sagging a bit. He took another step down the stairs, his hand resting against the wall, under a picture of himself from middle school.

"So where is she?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. Logan and Carlos shrugged and all three boys just for a second felt a conjugal sense of pain, and desperation.

"Jeez. He's probably a wreck," James spoke out, with not an ounce of his usual "I told you so" attitude peeking through. Logan and Carlos were a bit surprised at his comment as James licked his lips and sighed deeply.

"Yeah, he's not doing so good," Logan spoke softly, Carlos sighing upset. James looked at his two best friends with an upset, guilty expression on his face. Truth is, he wanted to apologize to Kendall. He needed to. James didn't stay mad at anyone for very long, even if it was his best friend who punched him the face. Even if James didn't fully understand what was going on Kendall Knight's head, he needed to be there for his best friend. He wanted to be there for his best friend. It was something the four had promised each other way back to their pee wee hockey days.

"Give me like ten minutes to change," James said with an assertive tone, turning his back to them and jogging up the stairs. Logan smiled happily, and Carlos immediately sighed deeply in excitement and began to stroll over to the kitchen with a proud smile on his face.

"Mrs. Diamond? Can I have a glass of lemonade?"

Fifteen minutes later, after James had gotten his hair shiny again, thrown on more suitable clothes, and Carlos had downed two lemonades and two French cookies from Lucie, the three boys jumped into James tiny little green Honda, and allowed the car to heat up in the Diamond's driveway.

"Jesus, James. It's like a frickin' igloo in here. Don't you have heat?" Logan asked, clutching to himself in the passenger's seat, watching as James adjusted the flimsy knobs on the console of the car. To say James' car was anything less than crap would be accurate. The boy desperately needed to fix his forest green Honda up, seeing as that the car was older than him.

"Give it a second to warm up, Logie," James said in a relaxed tone of voice, fiddling with the buttons on the stereo. Logan breathed out, puffs of fog exhaling from his bluish lips as he shook his head and thinned his lip disapprovingly.

"I can see my own breath," he chuckled out angrily, raising his hand to motion it and letting it fall on his thigh, as Carlos rested both hands on the headrests with a confused look.

"Why are we even driving there? Kendall's house is like ten minutes away by walk. By the time the car heats up, we'll already be there," Carlos said with a scrunched up face, buckling his seatbelt.

James chuckled and looked at his two friends, rolling his eyes. "Because, why walk when we have my awesome car to go there with? Besides, it's freezing out there," James spoke, turning up the heat even more.

"It's freezing in here too!" Logan exclaimed in a high voice turning to James, buckling up. Carlos sat back in the car with his arms crossed and rolled his eyes as James reached down to fasten his own seatbelt, going to the gear, and putting it in reverse.

"We're going, relax," James spoke, as he threw his arm around Logan's headrest, made sure there were no cars and backed out of the driveway. There was a bit of silence as James made his way over the bumps and cracks and ice in the road, the old '94 clattering from windows to tires over each of them. There was silence for a few seconds before Carlos broke it.

"Do you guys think that Stella is alright?"

Logan sighed and James said nothing, concentrating on driving, leaving Logan to answer the question. The smart boy knew all the statistics of runaways, and knew that Stella was probably in an orphanage by now, or sleeping on a bus stop in frigid weather…if she was lucky.

"I don't know Carlos. I mean, maybe she's back in an orphanage where she is safe or something," Logan said carelessly, staring out the window, not wanting to answer it. Carlos licked his lips, knowing that Logan wasn't really too into answering the question, and he wouldn't push James for an answer. He sighed as James stopped at a stoplight and sighed, drumming his gloved hands on the steering wheel. The sound of static-y radio flew through the car.

"I don't think they're in love," Carlos said point blank. James stopped the car at the stop sign a bit violently, and Logan swallowed hard. Carlos looked out the window with a sad, distraught face on, neither of the boys in the front of the car responding. James swallowed hard and looked over at Logan who was trying his best to avoid any talk on the subject of Kendall or Stella.

"Me either," James spoke out, as he looked both ways crossing the street, and continued to drive. Logan licked his lips and swallowed hard, as if the two boys in the car were just waiting for the smart boy to answer.

"Me either," Logan croaked out. It's as if the whole atmosphere in the car had shifted dramatically with Carlos' question. The boys had talked briefly about how they didn't really believe in Stella and Kendall's love, but Carlos' statement was blunt and straight to the point.

It was the first time all three boys outrightly acknowledged the fact they believed Kendall Knight was killing himself over something that wasn't even true love…in _their_ eyes.

"But we have to be there for Kendall. We have to make sure we can understand him without getting our own thoughts in our heads. We can't talk him out of being "in love" with Stella, cause God knows he won't listen," Logan said, motioning his hand out to James, in which all the boys gave a small chuckle. The tension in the car seemed to relax a bit, as the boys saw Kendall's house in the distance.

"Do you think…he's angry?" Carlos asked in a small voice, a bit nervous, knowing how the boy reacted when he was. James sighed, and decided to let Logan off the hook for answering questions.

"I think he's just upset. But as long as we're there for him, we'll cheer him up in no time. Maybe he just needs to talk to someone," James said optimistically, eyes on the road.

"Maybe he just needs to sing a bit," Carlos said with a jubilant smile. Logan turned around in his seat and looked at Carlos with a confused and wide eyed expression.

"Huh?"

Carlos smiled at his best friend and nodded his eyes alive with emotion. "I went by Kendall's yesterday and he was playing guitar, and I asked him to sing and play this song he wrote for Stella for me, and he did, and it was **amazing**!" Carlos said with a chuckle, as James pulled to the curb right by Kendall's house, where the boy had been sitting just an hour or so earlier.

"Kendall…sings?" Logan asked quizzically. Carlos nodded raising his eyebrows and rolled his eyes.

"Come_ on_, Logan. Remember when we went to the cemetery, and he was singing that Counting Crows song, and we were all in awe that he had a voice!" Carlos declared animatedly. Logan thought back and nodded and James chuckled.

"Yeah, I remember. He does have a pretty good voice," James said, turning the key in the ignition, shutting the car off. He turned to his friends and Logan looked back at Carlos and James with a weird, confused smirk.

"How come he never sang in front of us before?" he asked the car in confusion, seemingly forgetting the conversation the boys had at the gravesite. James shrugged and Carlos sighed deeply.

"I think it was because his dad got him into singing, and I mean you know Kendall. He's a pretty shy person," Carlos said. Logan nodded and sighed, turning back in his seat as James sighed deeply.

"Ready, boys?" James said with a half-hearted smirk. Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Finally, the frickin' igloo gets warm and you want me to go outside again," he groaned out. Carlos and James laughed at the boy, Logan chuckling himself as the three boys unbuckled their seatbelts, got out of the car and headed up to the Knight's front door.

Mrs. Knight and Katie weren't home yet from work and school respectively, so when Carlos knocked on the door, all three boys expected Kendall to answer. They heard the boy rush down the stairs, and when they heard the lock turn in the door, they didn't know what they would be met with. Would Kendall be angry? Would he be alright? Would he be normal?

As the door unveiled their blonde friend, Carlos, James and Logan instantly felt a joint sympathy for Kendall, like they had back at James' house for that moment.

His eyes were red and puffy, his hair astrew, and he looked defeated, something the boys had only seen when his father had died. They had never seen Kendall Knight break down so many times in their lives as they had seen these past few weeks.

"You okay, man?" Logan asked Kendall softly. Kendall wiped his eyes and put on his best smile with a small chuckle, which instantly faded.

"You brought the whole crew, huh Carlos?" Kendall chuckled out with a sore, raspy voice. Carlos smiled and nodded as the boys each surpassed the threshold of the door. James stood where he was, feet firmly planted on the porch as Kendall eyed him with a small, sympathetic smile.

"It's cold out," Kendall spoke softly to his friend, motioning to the inside of his house with his head.

The other boys were already on their way up to Kendall's room as James licked his lips and nodded, taking a few steps into the house. He entered the Knight house and Kendall closed the door behind James and sighed. The two boys hadn't even spoken a word to each other since the fight, and they knew that it was stupid that they couldn't apologize to each other. Girls were supposed to hold grudges, not guys. Especially not James Diamond and Kendall Knight. Both of them had gone too far with what they had said, and even though neither side backed down from their argument, the least they could do was be there for each other.

"Is your uh…face alright?" Kendall asked, sticking his hands in his pockets sheepishly. James shrugged and gave Kendall a small sympathetic smile.

"Is your heart alright?" he asked back softly.

Kendall shrugged, and tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't as he started to chuckle, giving James a raised eyebrow.

"You do know that was probably **the** gayest thing you've **ever** said," Kendall told him. James nodded laughed, slinging an arm around his best friend's shoulders.

"I'm sorry," James said sympathetically looking into Kendall's eyes, obviously meaning more than just the comment. Kendall nodded and smiled sadly.

"Me too."

James and Kendall parted with a small, civil pat on the back, as the two tallest of the group made their way up the stairs to Kendall's room. When Kendall and James entered his room, they found Carlos bouncing around on the dark blue comforter with a smile on, and Logan inspecting the papers on Kendall's desk. Carlos stopped dead when he saw James and Kendall enter the room with smiling, bright faces on.

"Are you guys friends again?" he asked enthusiastically with a smile. James and Kendall both nodded, Kendall closing the door behind them as Logan looked at them relieved as could be.

"Oh thank God! I was starting to find slingshots and climbing trees appealing hanging out with** this** one alone," Logan said pointing to Carlos, who had ceased jumping and stood up straight on the floor.

"Hey!" he said offended.

"Let's not get another two of our friends in a fight?" Kendall asked his friends, the Knight leadership quality in his voice standing out for the first time since the boys had arrived. It was something all of the Knight's had, whether they had noticed it or not. That same "take charge" voice where nothing could bother them. It's what made Kendall the leader of their group.

"Agreed," Carlos and Logan both said in unison, then turning to look at each other in horror. Carlos' eyes went wide and he looked at Logan as if he were some foreign alien, stepping back a bit and falling on his backside on the bed.

"Jeez. Maybe we **are **spending too much time together," the Latino boy spoke with a horrified voice.

Logan chuckled a bit, taking his usual seat against Kendall's desk chair, letting his legs hang out in front of him. Kendall sighed and ran his hand through his hair, taking a seat against the bed, next to Carlos' dangling legs, and James opted to lay on his stomach in the middle of Kendall's room, his knees bent up ward at a ninety-degree angle.

"_Sooo_…" James said awkwardly, looking around at his three brothers. Kendall looked around at the boys, his hands on his knees, curled up against his bed as he sighed. He closed his eyes, licked his lips and got up, going across the room. All three boys watched as he opened his bottom desk drawer, fished through some papers and took out an envelope, closing the drawer.

"Here," Kendall spoke carelessly and obviously upset, throwing the letter in the middle of the room. He walked back over to where he was sitting, Carlos, Logan and James staring at the letter, the only thing visible from all of their perceptions, a big, red "Return to Sender" stamp. The boys then all looked at each other as Kendall took a deep breath, breaking the deafening silence.

"I—I just waited so long for her to respond, and to know that she didn't even get it," he muttered out, looking at his hands upset. "I poured my heart and soul out in that letter, and she didn't even get to see it. I don't know if she ever will. She's lost, and I don't know how to find her," Kendall chuckled out in pure sadness and anger.

"I'm sure she is alright, Kendall. From what you told us, Stella is a really strong girl," Carlos said comfortingly, looking down from the bed at his blonde friend. Kendall shrugged and sighed deeply, Carlos looking at James and Logan for help.

"Yeah, I mean—she has been a runaway since she was younger, I'm sure she just maybe wanted to move out of the General Store and get a job somewhere else where she could find somewhere to stay, you know?" Logan said with a half-smile, as Kendall sighed and looked straight at James with a small, sad smile.

"Alright, your turn," Kendall said. James looked at the boy with a torn heart. He wanted to say that maybe Stella had moved to forget about Kendall, and that even if she _had_ gotten that letter, she wouldn't have responded. But James wouldn't talk back to his friend like that again, he needed to support Kendall like he had promised since they were young. He needed to be a better friend, just like Logan had said the car ride here.

"I don't know what to say, Kendall. It could be a number of things. Maybe she is sending you a letter," James said gruffly, even though he knew that wasn't true.

"I hope she does send me one, and I'll be waiting for it every day," he said with a small smile. "It just doesn't make sense. She said we were going to write each other, and that I could send letters to her," Kendall spoke with a furrowed brow, shaking his head. "And now she could be halfway around the world, all alone and scared, and I'm not there to protect her," he whispered out miserably.

"Well, when was this? Earlier in the week you were there?" Logan asked. Kendall sighed and bit his lower lip, smirking a bit and chuckling softly, but sadly.

"No. It was the day before I left," he spoke. "When I went to say good-bye to her that night, I told her that we could send letters to each other, and she said to send hers to the General Store."

"Well what did she say after you talked to her about the mail?" Logan asked, as if there was a logical reasoning to the steps Kendall and Stella took to talk to each other about this.

"Nothing. We kissed," Kendall said with a closed lipped smile. Logan rolled his eyes.

"And after that?" he asked annoyed. Kendall closed his eyes and remembered how he and Stella had made love the night before he left, and how they had both cried into each other's arms when finished. He remembered trying to resist the pleasure because the pain and fear of losing her was too great.

Kendall looked up at Logan and widened his eyes, raised his eyebrows and moved his head forward a bit with a chuckle, Logan's face twisting up in horror.

"_Awwwww_ man, I did NOT need to know that," Logan said, shaking his head in disapproval. Carlos laughed and James chuckled a bit, making sure to say anything that could upset, or set off his best friend. "You better not be having **any** dreams like that in California, because we're sharing a bed," Logan added with a smile, trying to cheer his best friend up.

Kendall put up three fingers and smiled deviously. "Scouts honor, Logie." Kendall had to admit, a vacation to California, away from all of this sounded amazing right now. He had told his mother to tell Mr. Mitchell to book him a spot on the plane, and that'd he be there. She figured it would be good for him, on the condition that he attended another therapy session before he left.

Kendall sighed deeply and looked around at his best friends, all obviously uncomfortable with this subject for all their own reasons.

"Well…what'd you say in the letter?" James asked curiously, trying to see if him talking about how he felt about the blonde, runaway would cheer him up. Kendall sighed and rubbed his forehead and chuckled.

"Oh, so much, you have no idea. I drafted it five times," Kendall spoke. Logan laughed and sighed with a smile.

"Look at you, and you aren't even an English student Mr. History," he said. Kendall chuckled and shrugged, his eyes going to the letter in the center of them.

"You guys want me to read it to you? I don't mind. It's not that long," Kendall spoke comfortable, reaching out to the letter and picking it up with his hands. Carlos smiled smugly, resting a hand on Kendall's shoulder with a smile.

"Why don't you keep the letter between you and Stella, and sing _us_ the song you wrote for her for Christmas?" Carlos asked, his eyes lighting up. James and Logan each smiled and nodded, and Kendall looked a bit nervous.

"I—I don't know, I mean, it's kinda personal," he said unsure, scratching the back of his neck. Carlos rolled his eyes playfully.

"And this," he said, snatching the letter from Kendall's hands, "isn't?" Kendall looked up at his friend and tried to grab the letter, back as Carlos chuckled at his blonde best friend's failed attempts.

"Come on, Kendall. You sang it for Carlos, it's only fair I hear it as well," Logan declared, sitting upright. James did the same, more interested and alert with a smile on his face.

"I wanna hear this too, man. Maybe I can convince you to join choir," James chuckled out with a two hand mock gun point at Kendall. Carlos' grip on Kendall's shoulder tightened and Kendall looked up at him, Carlos nodding at him energetically. Kendall sighed, rolling his eyes, obviously defeated by his three best friends.

"Fine," he said, getting up from his place on the floor, walking over the corner with a smile on his face he had thought the boys couldn't see. Holding the guitar by the neck, and sweeping his capo off his desk, he sat back down in his original spot, slinging the beautiful acoustic beauty on his neck, putting the capo on the fifth fret, and taking the pick from under the strings. "It needs a bit of a work still, and I'm not done yet so," he warned his friends.

James and Logan nodded and shimmied closer with wide, inviting eyes, as Kendall closed his eyes and tried to remember the chords that he had figured out after school yesterday. He made the shapes with his fingers on the fret board of the guitar, grazing the strings with the pick to make sure he had the right idea. Since when did Kendall Knight play guitar and sing in front of people, even if they were his best friends? Kendall didn't know why, but singing Stella's song wasn't as nerve wracking as he thought. All he had to do was picture the beautiful blonde in front him, her touch, her scent, her voice, how she told him he was a beautiful singer, it all made Kendall feel so much better about everything in his life.

"_I remember what you wore on the first day, you came into my life and I thought hey you know this could be something,"_ Kendall began to sing, his voice a bit shaky.

As the boy continued the song, the gentle strumming of his guitar, James, Carlos and Logan all looked at him in absolute awe. It was like this angel had been sent down from Heaven and granted Kendall with this unbelievable voice he had been hiding from everyone but his dad for so many years. Even James, who had been the performer of the group, was at a loss for words when he heard Kendall's beautifully classic voice ring through his ears. They watched their friend at his most vulnerable, looking at how his hands seemed to tense at certain parts of the song, how the corners of his mouth turned upward like he was about to scream, and how his eyes remained closed the entire time he sang. When he had finished the second chorus, ending with one, final, sugary strum, he opened his eyes. He hadn't even noticed that a tear had fallen down his cheek, and that he was biting his lower lip white from the tension. All the other times he had played it, he hadn't cried, but now, knowing Stella was out there, somewhere alone, and that he couldn't sing this to her at night made him desperate.

Kendall just sat there, silent, a tear falling on the body of his guitar, not being able to look at his friends. James or Logan didn't need to say that he was amazing, because the silence in the room spoke for itself. Twelve years together was long enough for silence to be loud.

James didn't know if he was telling the truth, or if he was just hurting Kendall more by guaranteeing him something that was uncertain. James had seen enough pain behind the green eyes of Kendall Knight in the past year, and truthfully, he couldn't take the hurt he felt for his strong, fearless friend any longer; none of the boys could. Seeing their leader break down and fall to pieces the past year had been something none of the boys were prepared for emotionally or mentally, but they knew they had to be there for Kendall like he was there for them. Through Carlos' parent's divorce, Logan's few depressing test grades, and James' failed auditions for the spring musical, Kendall was always there, no matter what. James put a hand on Kendall's shoulder, the blonde boy looking up at his friend with red, watery eyes, and a sad, helpless smile.

"You'll see her again, buddy. I promise."

About a half an hour later, after cheering up Kendall to the best of their ability, all four boys walked down the stairs of the Knight house, about to go their separate ways. It was close to dinner time, and God knows that Carlos was starting to get rambunctious from the scent of the soup wafting upstairs from the Knight kitchen.

"I thought you _doofuses_ were up there," Katie said slyly from the kitchen, doing her homework at the white kitchen table. Kim smiled widely at the boys as Katie shook her head disapprovingly.

"I thought I heard more than one voice up there," she said gleefully wiping her hands with a dishrag, and coming over to her son and his friends. "I didn't want to come upstairs and _intrude_ on your 'guy time'," she said chuckling, Carlos, Logan and James smiling at how hopelessly corny Kim Knight was. She planted a kiss on her son's cheek, but one look in his pale, green eyes, she knew something was wrong. And one look in her blue eyes, and Kendall knew he wasn't going to be able to keep this a big secret anymore.

"Did you boys wanna stay for dinner? I have a pot of soup on the stove," Kim said with a smile, motioning back to the stove.

"No thanks, Mrs. Knight. I'm just gonna drop Carlos and Logan off home," James said cordially with a smile, before Carlos could even get a word in.

Kim smiled at James and nodded, touching his shoulder affectionately with a mother's smile. Miraculously, she knew **nothing** of the fight with James and Kendall, and squinted a bit at the bruise on the bridge of his nose, avoiding bringing it up, since she _knew_ James was into his looks so much. Kendall hadn't told her anything of it, and seeing as Carlos' mother and Kendall's mother weren't too close, she never found out about it. If she had, Kendall would be in even _more_ trouble, be subject to _more_ therapy, and probably wouldn't have been able to go to California with Logan next week. Kendall had done everything in his power to hide it from her, which was definitely the smart thing for him to do. But now, the lying was to all come to an end.

"Okay. Drive safely," she said with a smile. She turned away from the group with a small weight on her heart as Katie sighed deeply.

"Bye Katie-Watie!" Carlos called out from the front door, Katie rolling her eyes at the annoying, but comforting nickname she had earned from the boys as she angrily went back to her math homework. Kendall opened the door for his friends, as they filed out and stood on the porch facing him, like they had just done not even an hour before.

"Thanks, guys. It uh-means a lot," Kendall spoke softly, with a small smile. None of the boys said anything, but nodded surely, knowing how hard it was for Kendall to accept help from anyone the past few weeks.

"Please do something with that voice, Kendall, alright?" James asked his best friend with a small nod. Kendall closed his eyes and smiled, opening them quickly with a chuckle.

"I'll think about it," he said. The boys all chuckled and bid their final good-byes, as Kendall closed the door behind them and sighed deeply. Kim wasted no time in from hearing the door slam to her son's sigh, when she started walking towards him, before he could think about escaping upstairs.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? I can tell you've been crying," she said in a whisper, crossing her arms across her chest. Kendall sighed and shook his head, wanting to give up. While his anger had surprisingly been under control since the James' incident, his sadness seemed to be evening it out. Kendall hadn't cried as much in his entire life as he had the past year, and quite frankly, it scared him. All was silent as Kim sighed deeply.

"I _know_ I'm not your father, Kendall, and I never will be, but—you can talk to me, sweetheart. I promise. I **hate** seeing you bottle something up inside like this, and I can't help you with it," Kim said softly, touching his cheek gently. Kendall licked his lips, and turned his head away from his mother's, nodding. There was no use in putting up this wall towards his mother anymore. If he wanted to find Stella, he was going to have to tell her about everything that had happened the past few weeks.

"I-I know. We can talk about it," he said, closing his eyes, his voice a bit shaky. Kim looked surprised, as she basically dragged Kendall into the kitchen by his arm, and sat him down at the table, the boy sitting in the chair sluggishly and tiredly. She wanted to know just what was causing her son so much grief and anger these past few weeks, and she was finally going to get it out of him. Kendall looked over at his Baby Sister doing homework and then back at his mom, to which Katie raised an eyebrow at.

"What's going on?" she asked confused.

Kim sighed and smiled at her daughter. "Katie, why don't you go upstairs and finish your homework, I need to talk to Kendall about something," she said with a fake smile plastered on her face. Katie snickered and looked at Kendall with wide eyes.

"Did you get in trouble? Did you beat someone up _again_?" she asked animatedly, throwing her pencil down as Kendall shook his head at her, not even in the mood to fight. Ever since their reconciliation sometime ago, Kendall felt obligated to not let himself get into any fights with Katie, no matter how small.

"Katie, go upstairs, _**now**_," Kim said again with a high voice. Katie looked at her mother with a stern eye and crossed her arms.

"Can I watch CNN?" she asked with a smile.

"Sure. Go ahead," Kim said, not even caring about what her daughter watched at a moment like this. Katie gathered up her books and came next to her mom, sighing deeply, resting a hand on her shoulder and looking at Kendall.

"Go easy on him, mom," she said with a sympathetic grin, walking past her Kendall and heading upstairs. Kendall sighed as Kim sat next to him at the table with a concerned, but jubilant smile on her face.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked.

Kendall sighed deeply, and closed his eyes. All of the emotional baggage he had been carrying the past year was finally too much. Between his father's death, this whirlwind of love with Stella, and now not knowing if the one person who he really loved was safe, pushed him over the edge. Kendall was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders at the young age of sixteen and to be quite honest, Kim didn't know the half of it. It was in the moment Kendall looked into his mothers yearning, blue eyes that he knew she deserved to know everything.

It didn't make much sense to Kendall why he had never come to her before. True, he didn't _really _want to tell her about how he lost his virginity three days after meeting a runaway, or how he had punched his best friend of twelve years in the face over this girl he had known for a week, but Kendall felt that he needed to let everything off his chest, and then maybe he could really start living healthy. He knew staying up till the wee hours of the morning, thinking of Stella and his father wasn't helping him at all, and only making his thoughts consume him in even _more_ sadness. Therapy wasn't helping him much either, something Kim had seen easily from two unproductive and raging sessions, and now, he was at a dead end. Kim was the only one who could truly turn him around, and Kendall knew it, as much as he **hated** to admit it.

"I-I'm in love, mom," Kendall stated simply, tugging at his lower lip with his teeth, chuckling in disbelief at how his mother was probably laughing at him on the inside, getting her arguments about how anything under twenty-one was "puppy love".

Kim took a sharp breath out and cocked her head to the side, very confused.

"You're in…love? With…who?" she asked, trying her best not to belittle her son's sudden Romeo proclamation for love. Kendall swallowed hard and looked at his hands, and how they tapped the kitchen table gently. It was now or never. If he didn't try to turn now, he'd be stuck in that dead end forever, something he couldn't be in to go on. He needed to get better, he needed someone to _really_ understand. Kendall needed his mother.

"Stella."

For the next half-hour, Kendall talked. Kimberly Knight said nothing, and moved not an inch as Kendall told his story, except once to turn the soup on to a simmer. Kendall told her everything. He told her how Stella was a runaway who was called Kacey, and how he had met her on the roof of the Tregger's house, kissing her within moments. Not being able to stop, he told her about how they had made love on Christmas Eve in the cabin behind the huge mansion Stella lived in. He told her about her living conditions, how she was hit as a child, how she enjoyed his voice, and how she always seemed to correct him when he was grammatically inaccurate. He told her how he had gotten a Return to Sender letter, and about his fight with James. And when he was done, there wasn't much that Kim could say.

"I'm—I'm sorry I've been lying to you, and I'm sorry I've been making such _stupid_ decisions lately, b-but I love her, mom. I really do, and no one understands, and it's _so_ frustrating," he cried out, his voice cracking a bit. He looked up at his mother's eyes which seemed confused, yet understanding. She had done her best to comfort Kendall when he was going through his story, only letting a slight "_Oh God," _when he had told her that he wasn't her little boy anymore. "But that's everything, I promise, it's **everything**."

Kim looked down at her son. It seemed like since Kris had died, the poor boy had been trying to fill many a role in the Knight house. Not only was he to be a loving son, but he was the protector of his mother and sister, the man of the house, and the provider. Kendall had been talking about getting a job after school for a few weeks now, and was trying his best to help his mother out financially anyway he possibly could. She couldn't speak she was so conflicted.

"I—That's…that's _a lot _of information to be brought up at once, Kendall," Kim spoke softly, closing her eyes and sighing, feeling a headache brewing quite quickly. She had never thought that so much could be said in such a short amount of time. She sighed deeply and looked into her son's scared, confused, and lost green eyes.

"I know, mom. And you can punish me, and tell me I'm not allowed to go to California, and ground me until I turn thirty, and I'll take it. I deserve it for lying to you," Kendall spoke out softly. Kim's heart broke at her son's list of what he deserved. It was totally opposite from her own. She knew when Kendall was passionate about something, that he was overly passionate about it, which was probably the leading cause of his anger problems. She didn't doubt her son for a minute, because in his eyes she saw the way he talked about Stella like she was the single-greatest thing on this planet. It was the same way she used to talk about her husband.

"I'm not going to do that," Kim spoke softly. She rested a hand on her son's bouncing knee, trying to get his nerves to calm down as he looked up at her in awe. "I'm not going to punish you by grounding you, and taking away this trip I know you're looking forward to. That wouldn't solve anything," she said with a tender voice, Kendall smiling a bit. He had to admit, he really was looking forward to seeing the Wild play in California with his best friend, also knowing his father would be there in spirit.

"W-what?" he asked softly. He was _sure_ that there would be **some** punishment to come along with all these lies.

"I love you, sweetheart. But though, I wish you would've done things differently with this whole situation, and not lied about it. You should've been able to tell me that all of this was going on," she said softly.

He nodded and sighed deeply, shaking his head upset. "I know, I-I just, I thought you would try to talk me out of seeing her again, and I-I don't know," he said upset, biting his lip ashamed. "I thought I could handle it." Kim said nothing but pulled her son into a strong embrace, something she hadn't done in such a long while. She breathed in the scent of his cinnamon shampoo and smiled against his smooth, silky locks of blonde hair.

"I know you care about her, Kendall. I do, but I have to be a mother here and tell you that she's a runaway, and that she could be_ anywhere_ right now. I know you want to find her, but I don't know if you're going to be able to, baby," she spoke softly. Kendall bit his lip and hugged his mom tightly, nuzzling into her hair gently and sighing.

"I wanna find her so bad, mom. I wanna make sure she is alright," Kendall spoke his voice starting to crack. "I have to protect her. I promised," he said.

It hurt him so bad that Stella was out there somewhere, and he couldn't save her. He was so used to saving everyone, and now, **he** needed to be saved. Kendall couldn't wrap his head around his vulnerability, but now, he was going to have to. He was going to have to get used to breaking down in front of his friends, and his mother, even if it meant he wasn't as strong as he used to be. Kim looked at her beautiful, passionate, loving son and sighed deeply, closing her eyes and holding him tightly.

"I know, sweetheart. But you're only human," Kim said, kissing his blonde hair gently.


	16. California

**A/N: Sorry this is so late guys! It's been a REALLLY busy week so far! But I hope you like this Kogan friendship chapter, and those of you who have been wondering about Mr. Mitchell…your answer is in here. Oh, and also, there is a cameo ;D FORESHADOWING FTW.**

*****NOTE: If I am a usual reviewer of one of your stories and I haven't reviewed, PLEASE nicely tell me to review. I'm losing track lately and it's been a super busy week.**

**Also, here is a snippet from the beautifully written Past The Sorrow by waterwicca :D You must check this out!**

An hour later, the group of four found themselves at Sage and Kendall's 'spot'. They had gone back whenever they could, enjoying the isolation from the rest of the town, especially after a long day at school or a full Saturday with Elliot. They decided to bring Katie and Karen and share it with them once the small lake had frozen over so they could all skate together.

It wasn't long before Kendall found himself paired off with his little sister, chuckling lightly as he helped her keep her balance. Katie was a bit rusty on her skates from a lack of practice, but Kendall had moved like a professional since pee-wee hockey with James, Logan, and Carlos. As he held her small hands in his own with her body facing his, they looked over to Sage and Karen skating side by side on the other side of the ice.

"So, she really can't stay tonight… even though tomorrow's Christmas?" Katie frowned and bit her lip sadly. Sage had become a sister to her in the recent months. She lived with them most of the time, and Katie didn't like a member of their small family not spending the holiday at home. Kendall sighed and shook his head, turning it to look down at her.

"No, Baby Sister, she can't…" he spoke solemnly and fought not to scowl. "Sage doesn't have a choice. Elliot will be home tomorrow," Kendall added bitterly.  
Katie knew the details. She had seen the bruises and blood with her own innocent eyes. She had learned to develop a hatred that no ten-year-old girl should have to have for a man she's never even laid eyes on.

"Was Dad ever like that?" Katie asked suddenly, sounding younger than she usually acted.  
Kendall skidded to a stop, making Katie halt with him. The freezing air seemed to get colder as the wind blew and soaked through all of their layers. He tightened his gloved fingers around his sister's.

"What?" it was all he could stutter out, waiting for Katie to clarify.

"Is Elliot - … Is that what all dads are like?" Katie cautiously questioned further, hoping not to upset her brother. She hadn't ever really experienced a father, and Elliot was her only model. Kevin Knight died when she was barely two.

"No, Katie… not at all," Kendall insisted sternly and definitively. He needed her to know that Elliot was nothing like most fathers. "Never think that, Baby Sister. Dad was an amazing man… He was smart and brave, just like Mom. If he were here, he'd know what to do about Elliot…" Kendall took another glance at Sage across the ice. He always fought to stay strong for her, but sometimes he felt like it was never enough.

**Yup. I know you wanna keep reading, so do it ;D**

Please read and review this chapter! Until next week ;D

* * *

_Chapter Sixteen: California_

"I'm_ so_ ready to leave this ice bucket for a few days."

"I know. California here we come!" Logan said with enthusiasm. The blonde and raven haired boy exchanged looks in the back seat of Kim's red mini-van, John and Kim in the front. Finally, Kendall was getting out of this horrible, sick cycle that he had been in since returning from his _last_ vacation.

Kim had already warned Kendall that he best behave in the care of John Mitchell, and not meet any girls that were runaways in California. Kim found it a bit easier to talk to Kendall about the whole Stella debacle by joking about it, something they had done as Kendall packed his bags last night.

Now, at 4 AM she was driving her son, his best friend and his father to the airport so they could catch their 7 AM flight, arriving in California at 9 AM their time after the three hour flight. It made Kim happy to see her son going on a relaxing vacation with his best friend, and made her even_ happier_ that he would be getting away from the idea of trying to find Stella.

The past week had been filled with a desperate Kendall _begging_ his mother to call Jenny Tregger to see if Stella was still at the general store, or if Bryan had seen her around town. Perhaps the worst part of the whole thing was that Kendall had absolutely _no_ idea what name she was using now, and couldn't find any way to possibly contact her. He thought of trying to contact the police in Thief Great Falls to see if he could put some sort of report out for a runaway, but Kim educated him with the fact that if he did put a report out, Stella would be brought back to a shelter, or a halfway home, and neither of the Knights wanted that.

After Kim sat Kendall down and told him that was not much else he could possibly do about finding her, the boy had to accept the fact that Stella was going to have to find him. Luckily, Kendall had undying faith in the beautiful blonde and in his heart felt that he would be seeing her soon. Luckily, Kim had been forcing excitement about California down the boy's throat every day in order to get him wound up for the trip, hoping to revert Kendall's twenty-five year old mindset back to the original sixteen it had been before his father had passed.

Kim drove into Duluth International Airport slowly, the traffic once passing the gates to entry severely congested. Kendall looked out a plane taking off the runway and chuckled, turning to Logan.

"Jeez, I haven't been on a plane…in years," he said. Logan smiled curly and John turned his head around to the blonde.

"You get used to them after a while, kid. I live on them," John said with a hearty laugh. Suddenly, a techno ringtone filled the car, and everyone shot out a puzzled look. John turned his attention to his pocket and sighed, taking his cell phone from his holster. Kendall, who sat in the back seat diagonal looked at how John's face dropped when he read the caller ID and he sheepishly rubbed his neck, looking nervous. Kendall looked more intently, and watched as he flipped it open and ignored the call, slipping it back in his holster and chuckling.

"Wrong number. Happens all the time," John said with a nervous, suspicious chuckle.

Kendall ignored it and returned his gaze out the window, looking at all the planes lined up ready to take off, wondering which flight was theirs. The sky was still dark, it being so early, and he looked a bit more ahead at the alit terminal of Duluth International smiling. The airport reminded him of his father. Anytime the Knight's would go visit Kim's parents in Florida, Kendall and his father would always set out and explore the shops and vendors Duluth International had to offer, getting lost looking at comic books or drinking smoothies while making up stories about where people were going on their flights as they passed. Kendall sighed deeply, feeling a small pang of guilt and sorrow in his heart. He had been so concerned with Stella the past few weeks, and getting her letter back, he hadn't thought of his dad too much.

It then hit Kendall that it had nearly been a year since his father had died. This year had been the hardest year of his life so far, and the fact that his father was gone all this time made Kendall feel a bit empty inside. His head rested against the dirty glass window quietly, green eyes looking out at the small lights from faraway planes as Logan tapped his arm concerned.

"Dude? You okay?" Logan asked Kendall with a small, sympathetic face on. Logan looked Kendall when he turned his head, his expression sullen, green eyes full of some emotion Logan just couldn't figure out.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just—anxious, bud. We're going to California," Kendall said smiling at his best friend, trying his best to keep a somewhat upbeat attitude. Here he was going halfway across the country to sunny California with one of his best friends. Kendall had to be positive, because if he wasn't, he knew his mind would slowly but surely drift back to Stella. Logan chuckled and nodded, holding out his fist to his friend which he bumped. Traffic began moving more quickly, as Kim drove up directly to the curb in front of the airport and stopped the car, putting it in park.

"We're here," she spoke softly with a smile, John wasting no time getting unbuckled from the front seat. Kendall sighed deeply, looking around at the dark, but busy airport waiting right in front of him, frozen in his seat. Logan unbuckled his seatbelt with a smile, and began to open his back door, Kendall still frozen. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath, an overwhelming rush of emotion coming over him. He needed to relax about all of this, about Stella, about his father. He needed to just take some time off from the world and all his problems, just escape. And now, this was his only chance, and he was going to have to take it.

Kendall sighed and got out of the car, the brisk, cold Minnesota morning hitting his skin like ice, as he went to back of the mini-van where Logan and John were taking out their bags and luggage. Luckily, Kendall had stuffed all of his necessities into one of his old hockey duffels, definitely trying to avoid checking his bags like his mother had taught him from his first plane ride when he was eight. He slung the bag over his shoulder as John closed the trunk, and he made his way to his mom's side of the car. He sighed and smiled at her as she lowered the window and gave him a small, sympathetic smile.

"I guess I'll see you when I get back," Kendall spoke with a small chuckle. Kim smiled at her son who nervously ran his hands through his hair. He never was too good at saying good-bye. Kim smiled up at him, taking her hands off the steering wheel and sighing.

"Please enjoy yourself, sweetie," she spoke, extending her hand to Kendall's face, touching his jaw line affectionately. Kendall nodded and swallowed hard, giving his mother a small smile. Kim looked at him and tugged his face down to her lips, pushing his blonde hair from his face, and giving him a tender, loving kiss on the forehead and then releasing him with a chuckle. "And behave, alright?"

Kendall rolled his eyes playfully at his mother, as Logan and John came up from behind him, John putting a hand on Kendall's shoulder with a smile.

"If he gets out of line, I'll send him home first class, don't worry," John said with a chuckle. Logan and Kendall both laughed and smiled, Kim giving John a thankful, friendly smile.

"Let's go see how long the line is," Logan said enthusiastically to Kendall, sprouting a smile from the blonde boy. Kendall looked at his mother one last time and smiled, reaching through the window and giving his mother a tender, sweet, caring kiss on the forehead, parting with a smile.

"Love you, ma," Kendall spoke with a sly grin. Kim's heart flew up into her chest seeing Kendall so genuinely happy and looking forward to something after his tumultuous past few weeks.

"Love you too, Kenny. Remember to call me before you go to sleep, alright?" Kim said. Kendall groaned a bit but nodded as him and Logan began to take off to the terminal. Kim rested her hands on the door and peeked her head out.

"Have fun!" she screamed after them, the two boys entering into the sliding glass doors enthusiastically, slinging their arms over another with laughter. Kim's heart swelled at the sight as she looked back up at John Mitchell.

"I can't thank you enough, John. Kendall's been having a really tough year, and this is perfect for him," Kim said with a smile. John chuckled, fastening his own bag on his shoulder and nodding with a smile.

"Don't even worry about it, Kim. It'll give Logan someone to spend downtime with while I'm in my meetings. And even though Kendall gave Logan the tickets, I knew my son didn't feel right accepting them," John said with a sad demeanor, licking his lips awkwardly. Kim swallowed hard and nodded, her eyes getting a bit glassy.

"I-I know Kris really wanted him to see the game, so I'm just_ so_ glad he gets to go," she spoke softly, tears welling up in her eyes. She sighed deeply, bit her bottom lip and looked up at John with a smile, after a few moments of silence.

"Logan's very lucky to have a father like you, John."

John Mitchell shifted awkwardly on his feet, his hand instinctively going to his cell phone as he licked his lips and nodded with a nervous grin.

"Well, I guess I better go catch the boys before they get on the wrong plane. I'll make sure Kendall keeps in touch alright?" John asked, his breath catching in his throat a bit. Kim nodded and smiled, John extending his arm to touch Kim's hand with a smile, as he quickly walked around the car, and out of her sight.

* * *

"Holy shit," Kendall grumbled under his breath, as the two boys, dressed clad in jeans and jackets walked out into the hot, humid, California air. The two boys stood in front of a terminal at LAX, their eyes both wide at the blue skies, the busy traffic, the tall palm trees and the short-shorts on women everywhere.

"This is fuckin' **awesome**," Logan mumbled out under his breath with a large smile on his face, his brown eyes looking up at the sky. Kendall and him both exchanged laughter as they each dropped their bags to the floor and began to take off their jackets in front of the airport as they awaited the car that Logan's dad was provided with.

John had been off making a business call for some time now, leaving the two boys in front of the airport, just marveling at what a different world California was. Kendall closed his eyes and took in the scent of the ocean waves, and the sun. He opened his eyes and excitedly fished in his pocket for the sunglasses he had bought when they got off the plane. Kendall had never really had a pair of nice sunglasses before, but now he could definitely put them to use. He put them on the bridge of his nose and pushed them up with a long sigh, taking in the rays of sun into his skin.

After marveling for a few more minutes at the beautiful landscapes, expensive sports cars and thousands of people running around with awesome tans, John appeared behind the boys, putting a hand on each of their shoulders and shaking them playfully.

"How you boys likin' LA so far?" John asked with a laugh and smirk. Logan shook his head, turning around to his dad in awe, fastening his bag on his shoulder as John pushed his sunglasses up into his graying, thinning black hair.

"This is pretty awesome, dad," Logan said with a smile. John smiled brightly at his son and Kendall chuckled.

"This is amazing, Mr. Mitchell," Kendall spoke out. John smiled at the boys and sighed with chuckle.

"Wait till you see what the company comps me," John spoke. Kendall and Logan each exchanged looks of pure delight and smiled at each other, John subtly pushing them forward towards the curb.

In the matter of seconds, a classy, black Lincoln Towne car pulled up in front of the three, and the driver stepped out. He was an older man, perhaps fifty-five or sixty, and wore a dark blazer with a company logo on it, over a blue button down and black tie with black pants. He was incredibly tan for his age, and definitely full of life. He pushed his sunglasses up off his eyes and into his silver hair as he laughed at the sight of Logan's father.

"Johnny Mitchell, it is **so** nice to see you in sunny California again!" the man said with a deep voice, coming over to John and embracing him in one of the classic man hugs.

"It's good to be back, Stan. Haven't been here in a while," John chuckled out in his shoulder, Logan and Kendall looking cluelessly at the exchange of words between the man and Logan's dad. Parting from the man, with a hand still on Stan's shoulder, John looked at Logan and Kendall with a smile.

"Stan, this is my boy Logan, and his best friend Kendall," he said proudly. Stan looked at John in surprise and laughed, running his fingers through his thin silver hair with a wide eyed expression.

"_This_ is little Logie?" he asked. Logan immediately turned a bit pink and embarrassed as Stan offered out his hand, Logan shaking it with an embarrassed smile, but firmly.

"Quite a handshake ya got there, Logan," Stan said with that old man fever. He looked at John quite flabbergasted. "The last time I saw a picture of this kid, he was about seven inches shorter and had three teeth in his mouth."

Kendall, Logan and John all chuckled as Stan turned to Kendall with a smile, offering him a hand as well. "How do ya do, son?" Stan said with a pearly white smile. Kendall instantly liked Stan. The way even though he was older, he still had a bunch of vim and vigor left in him. He always imagined when he got older he'd that kind of old person, and an instant smile went to Kendall's face.

"Good, sir. Thank you," Kendall spoke with a smile, shaking his hand firmly. Stan's eyes lit up and he made a deep laughing sound, looking at John as the two hands parted.

"Woah-oh-oh._ This_ one's got a celebrity handshake," Stan said animatedly. Kendall looked a bit confused and raised an eyebrow, bringing his hand back down to his side.

"A celebrity handshake?" Kendall asked, turning to Logan who had the same face on as he did.

Stan nodded and laughed, taking John's bag from him and hoisting it on his shoulder.

"Yup. Short, sweet and strong. If you ever get famous, you'll _definitely_ have the handshake for it," he said with a smile. Kendall was a bit confused at his comment, but shrugged it off as Stan took both him and Logan's bags and loaded them up in the trunk of the Towne Car. The boys got in the back, John in the front, as they sped off in the air conditioned beauty, leaving LAX in the distance.

The drive to the hotel downtown was short and sweet, John painstakingly silent and texting on his cell phone, as the boys and Stan had riveting conversation about ice hockey, Minnesota, and what female celebrities they hoped to see in Los Angeles. Stan pulled the car up to the enormous, luxury hotel, Logan and Kendall's hands pressed against the windows in absolute awe of the size of the building and its surrounding grounds.

"Dude, this is sick," Kendall whispered softly in amazement, Stan turning the car off and arching his head back to the boys.

"Okay, you're all set. I'll see you boys tomorrow at 6 PM sharp before the game, alright?" Stan spoke with a bright smile. Kendall and Logan both nodded, each giving Stan a small slap on the hand in gratitude as John slipped him a twenty.

"Thanks, Stan," he said with a smile, patting him on the back and getting out of the car. Logan and Kendall stepped into the heat again and looked up laughing in disbelief. Kendall had _always_ loved hotels for some reason. Just the fact that they were all so different, and how the rooms smelled. He liked being away from home at times. The last time he was away from home was…well, Thief Great Falls. The image of Stella came into Kendall's mind, and he quickly shook it away, trying his best to enjoy his vacation and to keep faith in his lover.

* * *

About an hour later, after the boys and John had checked in, Logan and Kendall stood in the center of their amazing suite that John had been comped for his business stay. It was an elegant room on the twentieth floor overlooking the back pools, hot tubs and bar areas of the hotel grounds. The two beds quilted with a light, tan mattress and soft blue pillows rested against the dark blue wall, the entire space alit with the sliding glass doors leading out to the spacious balcony. With his hockey bag on his shoulder, Kendall looked around at the warm, heavenly paradise he was going to get to call home for the next five days and smiled brightly.

There was a large, flat screen television across from the beds, housed in a giant entertainment center already stocked with DVD's and video games. There was a small table against the left wall with a bouquet of blue flowers, and to the left a door leading to the elegant tan and brown tiled bathroom. The white carpet was perfectly clean, and small pictures of palm trees hung on the walls. A warm, salty breeze flew through the balcony door, as Kendall dropped his duffle at the end of one of the beds, Logan following suit.

"And this is _all _free?" Logan asked confused, his father fiddling with his cell phone again smiling.

"Yup. This is the kind of perks that your father gets in the business world," John said with a hearty laugh. Logan's brown eyes examined the room again, and he looked back at Kendall whose hands were in his pockets, his sunglasses pushing back his blonde bangs just looking up in awe at the beautiful place he was in. Logan instantly smiled at the total joy, and excitement in Kendall's eyes, something he hadn't seen in a while.

"Well boys, I have a dinner tonight with my boss, and some clients of ours downstairs in the grand ball room around 7:30," John said, picking his suitcase up from his side and with a grunt, settling it on the other bed. He zipped it open as Kendall and Logan looked at each other with wide smiles, not believing that they were even here, and with limited parental guidance. John Mitchell wasn't the type of parent who needed to know every little thing. As long as Logan always followed his rules, and didn't get in trouble, he didn't feel the need to be uptight, like Logan's mother Kelly. "But there _will_ be rules to this vacation."

Logan and Kendall both sighed a bit disappointed, but knew that John's rules were not going to be anything to worry about. John turned to the two boys and smiled.

"First off, both of you gotta have your cell phones on and charged at all times…**Logan**," John said with a raised eyebrow and smile, Logan chuckling at his father. It was obviously some sort of inside joke Kendall didn't get, but he smiled with a small grin anyway. "Second of all, no drinking, no drugs, no sex," John said pointing a finger at the boys with a grin, obviously trying to be funny, knowing the boys didn't dabble in it. Logan and Kendall peered at each other out of the corner of their eyes at the sex comment, Kendall trying to hold back his small smile and revert from his mind going to Stella. "And third of all, I don't want you guys going further than around the small town here. There will be enough for you to do there the next three days. And then, when I'm off Saturday, we'll hit the beach and do some exploring in downtown LA. Sound good?"

Logan and Kendall both nodded with excited faces on, just _dying_ to go out and explore the amazing hotel that awaited them. John looked at both the boys and chuckled, motioning his head to door.

"Okay, go explore. But be back here by 7. You guys can order room service tonight for dinner," John said. Within a second of his last sentence being said, Kendall and Logan were fishing in their duffle bags for their swimsuits and towels.

Not even ten minutes later, Logan and Kendall basked in the sunlight, sunglasses sitting on the bridge of their nose as they looked out at the amazing, crystal blue pools in front of them.

"This is so awesome," Kendall chuckled out, his striped towel over his shoulder. The boys stood on the outdoor patio of the huge outdoor complex of the hotel. Tan women scantily clad in string bikinis, families with children, and many other people graced the two enormous pools, and the restaurant bar area. The beautiful tall palm trees and other shrubbery brightened up the area, as laughter and conversation was heard throughout.

"We are definitely _not_ in Minnesota anymore, K-Dawg," Logan chuckled out. Kendall rested his hand on Logan's shoulder firmly and sighed, both of them looking up at the beating sun.

"Definitely correct, Logie," he spoke. Logan and Kendall made their way to some of the available lounge chairs right by the side of the pool, finding two next to each other as they sat down with a sigh. Kendall immediately kicked his flip-flops off, lying down and laid his arms behind his head, already feeling the damp sweat collecting on the back of his wifebeater. He sighed deeply, Logan sitting in the same position as him, both boys with smiles on their faces.

"I can't believe we are sitting poolside in California right now," Kendall said with a chuckle, biting his lip in amusement, letting the warm sun beat down on him.

"I know. Now aren't you glad you decided to come?" Logan asked Kendall with a chuckle. Kendall nodded, knowing that even though Logan couldn't see him, he knew what the blonde's answer was. Silence fell between the boys for a few moments, with the only thing heard other people around the pool interacting, and Kendall feeling a slight splash of water anytime a small kid jumped in the pool.

Logan took a deep sigh, and he sounded a bit nervous actually. Kendall shrugged it off as nothing when he heard the small boy clear his throat.

"So you've been—alright, Kendall?" Logan asked.

Kendall sighed deeply. He knew this was coming. Anytime he had seemed excited, or happy, Logan would stare at him with that smile that was infectious, like something was bursting in his heart. He knew it was Logan's content that Kendall was actually enjoying himself, and not slopping around on a rollercoaster of highs and lows like he had the past few weeks. Kendall was going to take this trip to return to his old self, and try his best to be strong again. Even though he was alright with breaking down, he **needed** to be strong.

"Yeah. I've been alright," Kendall spoke back with a chuckle, allowing his hands to tangle in his blonde locks.

Logan nodded and fiddled with his thumbs nervously, the sounds of distant conversation making his heart beat faster. All he wanted to do was to let Kendall have his relaxation, and to set his mind straight. However, since Kendall had told them all about Stella, and everything he had experienced with her, Logan couldn't help but feel a bit out of the loop. He was smart and logical, and very popular with the honors kids in his classes, however_ not_ with the girls. While James, and even Carlos, had at least had some drive to chase girls, it seemed like Logan and Kendall were the half of the group that concentrated more on just their own lives. It was a very small part of him that Logan hadn't even realized was there until he heard Kendall's song for Stella. He was indeed upset at the fact that he really didn't understand something about his best friend. Even if it wasn't _love_, it was still _like_…and it was something Logan didn't know anything about to even the slightest degree. He couldn't sympathize with Kendall, or talk about it with him, and quite frankly, it drove him insane.

It was arguable that Kendall and Logan were the closest to each other in the group, and Logan had always found their relationship special beyond all means. But now here Kendall was, dealing with things beyond his years, a love life, a _sex_ life, and Logan felt more and more like the defenseless little fifteen year old boy he still was. While it was a small thought that racked Logan's brain a bit, he thought that the most logical thing to do was talk about with his best friend to try to understand.

"You're sure?" Logan asked again. Kendall nodded and looked at Logan, pushing his sunglasses into his hair and chuckling.

"Yes, I'm sure Logie. How could I not be? I'm in California with my best friend," Kendall laughed, touching his arm playfully with a true Kendall Knight smile.

"I know, I just—I wanna make sure you're having a good time, dude. I know you got a lot of shit going on, stuff I wouldn't understand," Logan said, the deterioration in his voice evident to Kendall. Kendall gave Logan and odd look and sat up in the chair a bit more with a confused look on his face.

"What do you mean stuff you wouldn't understand?" Kendall asked. Logan swallowed hard and shrugged, his hands going through his hair with a deep sigh.

"Like, I don't know…things about Stella. I-I don't know about girls, or sex or any of that stuff," Logan said sheepishly, his eyes casting down to his white feet out in front of him. "You have all of these things going on in your life, and I can't even help you, cause I don't understand them," he said sadly. Kendall looked at his best friend in awe and was very confused by what he had said.

"You get me the best, Logie. You know that. God knows that James doesn't understand things about me and Stella, but you have been there for me the entire time through all of this. It means a lot," Kendall said with a smile. Logan sighed and looked at Kendall with half-smile, but feeling sort of guilty, since Logan had outrightly admitted that he didn't believe in Stella and Kendall's love to the boys.

"I guess, but still…you're—like a man now. You're in love," Logan started off shakily doubting the latter, "you've had sex, you've gotten into two fist fights…face it dude, you're a man amongst a child," Logan spoke out softly, adding a small, desperate chuckle at the end. Kendall looked at Logan almost perturbed by his statement.

"Seriously? You think I'm a man cause I'm in love, had sex, and kicked the shit out of two people? What am I….James?" Kendall asked with a chuckle, turning more to Logan. The raven-haired boy sighed and shrugged at his friend.

"Forget I said anything," Logan spoke softly, trying to forget about this whole conversation. Of course, Logan knew better than for Kendall Knight to just let something go.

"Logan, we're still best friends. Just because I found love early on, and lost my virginity, and beat people up doesn't mean I'm any less of a kid than you are. I'm still sixteen, and I still like hockey, and I still love to watch old sitcoms at night, and have sleepovers. You act like…I'm a different person or something," Kendall said, his eyebrows knitting in confusion and misunderstanding.

"You're not a different person or anything Kendall, I-I just feel like you've grown up so much since you left…and that I'm still a kid. I don't know, I guess I always felt that we were equals of some sort, and now…well, that theory is kinda put to shame," Logan chuckled out, rearranging his body on the lounge chair. Kendall looked at his best friend with a sad glimmer in his eye, and sighed deeply.

"We'll always be equals, Logan. It doesn't matter about the things we have or experience, you're always gonna be my best friend," Kendall spoke out softly, giving the boy a smile. Logan, wanting to drop the conversation but feeling quite good about it, looked at Kendall with a smile.

"Well that sucks. I was hoping to cut you loose," Logan said, reverting his gaze to the sun in the sky. Kendall rolled his eyes and followed his friend's suit as the two boys sighed in unison.

"Too bad. I'm not leaving anytime soon," Kendall chuckled out. Logan smiled and sighed, allowing his hands to rest folded on his stomach, taking in the amazing atmosphere of sunny California.

"Damn straight."

* * *

After a refreshing night of sleep, and fighting off jet lag and sun exhaustion, at 6:00 PM the next day, Kendall and Logan sat in the back seat of the Lincoln Towne Car driven by Stan, on their way to see the Los Angeles Kings and Minnesota Wild fight to the deaths for a victory. The two had spent the entire day walking through the small shops of Los Angeles, just a block or two from their hotel. Kendall had picked up some new string bracelets, and Logan had picked up a new protective case for his iPhone.

And now, they were on the way to see their absolute favorite ice hockey team beat the pants off the Los Angeles Kings.

"You boys ready?" Stan asked from the front seat, his eyes in the rearview mirror. Kendall and Logan both nodded feverishly, both of them wearing their Wild's jerseys they had been sure to pack. "It should be quite an exciting game."

"You got the tickets, right K-dawg?" Logan asked him with a smile. Kendall's face immediately fell and he looked at his best friend with furrowed eyebrows.

"I-I thought you were taking them," he said concerned. Logan looked at Kendall with wide eyes and swallowed hard, his voice beginning to shake a bit.

"Kendall, I left them on the table right by the door and told you to **make sure** had them before we left the room!" he yelled annoyed, his voice cracking and squeaking a bit. Kendall chuckled and fished in his pocket for the two perfectly preserved tickets and Logan brought his hand to his chest in relief, his breathing heavy. "Dude, don't **do** that to me!" Logan said, shoving him playfully. Kendall began to become entrance in a fit of laughter as Stan looked back at him raising an eyebrow as they stopped at a red light.

"You two okay?" Stan asked with a laugh. Logan and Kendall both nodded, Kendall dying down from his laughter and Logan catching his breath. Logan had to admit, as much as he hated Kendall for nearly giving him a heart attack that they would have to trek all way the back to the hotel through traffic, the sound of the boy's laugh was music to Logan's ears. He hadn't heard a real, true laugh from Kendall in a while, and the past day or so with him had really brought back Logan to the times before Kendall's father was killed.

Only twenty minutes later, were Logan and Kendall walking towards the Staples Center, looking as all burly hockey fans with King's Jerseys stormed the arena. Kendall looked down and laughed, turning to Logan.

"Dude, I think we are **the** only people here with Wild jerseys on," he laughed out. Logan nodded in agreeance, both boys' eyes turning to a huge crowd of people further back in the parking lot. It was a mess of people howling and yelling, in some sort of riot it looked like.

"What do you think is going on over there?" Logan asked, trying to crane his neck to see better. Kendall, being the taller one, did the same thing and was able to see a long black limo. His eyes grew wide and he looked at Logan with excitement.

"It's a limo. Do you think it's one of the players?" he asked. Logan's eyes grew wide in excitement as well, as with one knowing look, the boys began to take off towards to large crowd who was pushing and shoving their way against everyone. Kendall and Logan easily and magically pushed their way through the crowd of black, purple, silver and white jerseys a bit, people screaming and reaching all over the place. Logan noticed that the crowd was mostly young people like themselves, and a few what looked like fathers and mothers. Getting to the middle of the crowd, and not being able to push through anymore, Logan was a bit too short to see anything.

"Kendall, who is it?" Logan asked, trying to push elbows and shoulders from his face. Kendall craned his neck even more and stood on his tippy toes, as he saw a very large man decked out in a matching sweat suit and one of those grandpa hats, and a petite, fashionista, black woman who was trying her best to push people away, along with the help of the largest man Kendall had _ever_ seen.

"It's not the Wild or the Kings," Kendall spoke, trying to avoid getting pushed even more than already had been. An older man next to the boys in a King's jersey turned to Kendall and Logan and chuckled.

"My daughter dragged me over here when she saw the limo, and now she is lost in the crowd somewhere," the man laughed. Kendall and Logan looked at each other and then at the man.

"Who…is that?" Kendall asked, motioning his chin the all the screaming that was up above. The man chuckled and gave the boys an odd look, raising and eyebrow.

"You boys aren't from here, are you?" he asked. Kendall and Logan looked down at their jerseys and then back at the man, whose eyes were stuck on their jerseys as well. The man nodded and laughed with them, Kendall and Logan nodding no.

"That's Gustavo Rocque. Mega producer here in LA?" the man said, the entire crowd beginning to shift with hysteria. Kendall and Logan caught their footing, the man as well, as they looked at him like he had four heads. Logan's eyes suddenly lit up and he had a revelation.

"Ohh! That's the dude who said he could turn a dog into a pop star, right?" he asked. The man nodded, as more screams were heard up ahead, all three of their attention going up ahead.

"He is searching nationwide to try to find his next big project. And I guess he is stopping in L.A for a stay. He hasn't found anyone yet, and I hear he's getting desperate," the man said. He sighed, turned to the two boys and chuckled.

"I better go find my daughter. She was so excited about this game, and now she's gonna forget why she is here in the first place," the man said, beginning to push his way through the tight knit crowd. Kendall turned to Logan in the midst of all arms, hands, and bodies and looked at him.

"This is lame, come on," Kendall said, quickly tugging Logan out of the ever crowing crowd. When the two boys finally got out of the crowd, they both fixed their tugged on, and disheveled jerseys and hair and began to walk towards the arena, more and more people running over, desperate for a chance to even get a glimpse of Gustavo Rocque.

"That's so stupid that people are so desperate to get famous," Kendall said with an annoyed voice.

"Well, don't you wanna be famous?" Logan asked with a chuckle. Kendall nodded and laughed.

"Yeah but for _this_, not _that," _he said, motioning respectively to the arena, and haphazardly to the crowd of miscreants behind him. "That's James' territory," he spoke with a laugh.

An hour later, Kendall and Logan had found their seats, and the game had begun. At the end of the first intermission, the score was 3-2 Kings, the last goal being only scored seconds before the end on the power play. The buzzer rang to signal the end, as Kendall and Logan got up from their seats.

"I definitely need some food," Kendall said, his hands going to his stomach as the boys made their way up the steep staircase to the outside vendors of the arena.

"We need to pick this game up, if we don't, and I came all the way out here to watch us lose to a crappy Los Angeles team, I'm going to be pissed," Kendall spoke with laughter, as their eyes scanned the arena for some sort of food.

"What about hot dogs?" Logan asked, reaching in his back pocket for his wallet, as they walked, leafing through the money his dad had given him to spend during their stay.

"Sounds good to me," Kendall said.

The two boys made their way over to one of the hot dog vendors, and stood on line when they heard a sharp giggle, and talking behind them.

"Look, daddy. The Wild!" they head a small voice say. With the people in front of them still ordering, Logan and Kendall turned around to see presumably a father and son, both decked out in Wild jerseys looking up at Kendall and Logan in awe. The little boy had platinum blonde hair and bright blue eyes, the father a spitting image of his son.

"Do you like the Wild too?" The little boy asked them, straining away from the grasp his father had on his hand. Kendall and Logan chuckled and nodded, as the boy's smile became even wider, looking up at his father.

"Daddy! Daddy, they like the wild! Look! He has Bouchard's jersey on!" the boy exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down at the fact that someone else in the world liked the same team as him.

"I see, Chris," the dad said chuckling. Kendall and Logan smiled at the father who seemed a bit apologetic.

"The kid loves anything to do with the Wild. I can't stop him," the dad chuckled out. The boys chuckled and Kendall kneeled down to the boy and smiled.

"You know, I'm gonna be the next center for the Wild in a few years," Kendall said with a raised eyebrow as Chris' eyes got wide and his mouth hung open, his grip on his father's hand getting tighter.

"NO WAY!" he exclaimed loudly, as his father looked on in amusement. Logan sighed with a knowing smile, as Kendall laughed.

"You might see me on the ice one day," Kendall said with a proud smile. Chris looked up at his father and smiled widely.

"Daddy! He is going to be famous!" Chris said, leaning into his father with a smile. The father patted Chris' blonde hair and chuckled nodding.

"Well then why don't you get his autograph," he said. Chris looked up at Kendall with alive blue eyes, and a bit of a sad expression.

"I-I don't have a pen, or a paper," Chris said. Kendall thought for a moment and smiled, going to his wrist. He had just bought a string bracelet with the Wild's colors on it today in Los Angeles, and even though he was wary of the purchase as first, Kendall now _knew_ that it was meant to be.

"Why don't _you_ take this," Kendall said, looking down at his bracelet and taking it off with one hand, "and when people ask where you got it from, you can say that you got it from the next center of the Minnesota Wild," Kendall said proudly, unleashing the bracelet from his wrist, and handing it to the kid. Chris took it with a large smile, his face beaming as his father laughed, and held him close, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thank you!" Chris exclaimed, as he looked up at his father in awe. Kendall stood up and Logan looked on at the exchange heart warmed, as the people in front of them left from the vendor, and Logan stepped up to order two hot dogs.

"Anytime," Kendall said with a smile, turning around to order, as the father and son behind them talked about Chris' excitement. Kendall didn't know what hit him in that moment, but it seemed like everything came crashing down on him. It was the first time since he got there, that he remembered he was supposed to be here with _his_ father. Kendall swallowed hard, and bit the inside of his cheek upset, closing his eyes tightly.

"Kendall," Logan asked him, hitting his arm. Kendall opened his eyes, and a small tear leaked down his cheek, as he saw Logan in front of him, holding two hot dogs, and Chris and his father behind him, the boy still enthusing about the bracelet.

Kendall swallowed hard, and wiped his tear away quickly, knowing it was no use and that Logan saw it anyway.

"You okay?" Logan asked nearing him, furrowing his brow. Kendall nodded and swallowed hard, trying to rub the wetness totally away from his face, as he took the hot dog from Logan's hand, not even hungry anymore.

"Yeah, I'm—I'm okay," Kendall said. Logan looked upset at Kendall's face and hit bit his lip awkwardly.

"That was really nice of you to do, Kendall," Logan said. Kendall nodded aimlessly and looked down at his hot dog with a deep sigh, his heart beating faster and faster. "Do you wanna leave, man? Cause if you don't feel like being here anymore, I'll just call Stan and tell him to come pick us up," Logan said, his hand on his friend's arm gently. Kendall looked up at Logan and shook his head no, trying to smile through the pain.

"I'll be fine, Logan."

* * *

"_Dad, quick! They're gonna score!" Kendall called from the living room, standing up halfway from excitement as the Wild forward skated down the ice on a breakaway._

_"I'll be right there, hold on!" Kris screamed back from the kitchen, fast walking into the living room with two glasses, a beer and a soda, as well as a giant tub of popcorn. Kris rushed into the room, put the stuff down on the table with a slight crash, just in time to see the Wild's forward put a great shot past the Canuck's goalie._

_"YES!" Kendall screamed loudly, standing up and pumping his fists. He looked over to his dad, and fist bumped him, as the two Knight's laughed in victory. Kim had taken Katie out to see a movie tonight, so that left Kris and Kendall to watch the Wild play their arch nemesis the Canucks, and hope to God that their team would be victorious. The score was now tied 1-1, and it was an incredibly chaotic game._

_"This game is insane," Kendall laughed out, flipping his bangs out of his face and sitting back down on the couch._

_Kris chuckled and opened the can of beer on the table, pouring it into his glass, as Kendall did the same thing with his soda._

_"I'll be right back," Kris told Kendall, getting up from the couch with a grunt. Kendall nodded, his eyes still on the game as he took a sip of his ice cold soda, licked his lips, and place it back down on the table. About five minutes passed, and Kris still hadn't returned._

_"Dad?" Kendall called out into the house. He got no answer. Kendall got up from his seat with a curious look on his face, and slowly walked into the kitchen. His eyes got wide as he saw his father, laying in the kitchen floor with broken glass around him, blood surrounding him and pooling by his side, crimson splattered all over the kitchen table and cabinets, and coming out of his mouth._

_"DAD!"_

Kendall jerked up out of bed sweating, blinking his eyes, and letting two wet tears fall down his cheeks. His heart was beating fast as he looked around the hotel room curiously, not remembering where he was for a second. He hadn't had a dream like that in a while. His heart ached with the vision of his father after the accident, looking down at his mangled bloody body. Luckily, Kendall had never seen his father's body, aside from the wake, after his death.

He swallowed hard, and let a few more tears fall down his cheeks, trying to avoid sobbing due to Logan sleeping peacefully next to him. He looked at John's bed, and saw that it was unmade, and that he wasn't in it. Kendall took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down and slowly but surely got up off the bed, and was headed for the bathroom quietly. Wiping his tears with the back of his shaking hands, and itching at the leg of his pajama bottoms, Kendall tiptoed across the large, humid, breezy suite to the bathroom, when he noticed the door ajar, and a light coming out.

He figured John was in there and had just forgotten to close the door but suddenly, Kendall heard talking. Being a curious cat, Kendall moved closer to the door and heard slight laughter from John, like he was on the phone or something. He leaned against the wall right outside the bathroom, and listened carefully to Logan's father.

"I know, baby. But you know the situation here," John said into the phone. Kendall was confused unto why he would be calling Logan's mother so late here. His eyes went to the digital clock across the room by a sleeping Logan, and saw it was nearly 3:00 AM here, meaning it was 1:00 AM in Minnesota, and Logan's mom would _definitely _not stay up past 11.

"How are the kids?" John asked with a smile. He smiled and nodded and laughed a bit, Kendall still very confused. "Well, send them my love. I'll probably be there sometime next month. I have a trip to New Jersey, and I'll definitely swing by Manhattan before I leave," John said hushed. Kendall's eyes began to go wide at the sound of Mr. Mitchell's voice.

"Well I'm here with my son, and his best friend, baby. It's the least I could do for the kid. But I miss you so much, and I can't wait to kiss you, and make love to you in New York," John said with a smile on his face, looking down. Kendall's heart stopped.

Logan's father was cheating on his wife.

Kendall's temper immediately started to flare, and he wanted nothing more than to burst into the bathroom, and tell whatever tramp John Mitchell was fucking around with that he had a family, and a son who **adored** him. Kendall bit his lower lip in anguish, not believing what he was hearing. He decided for his own benefit, that he should just try to get back to sleep, and figure out how he was going to handle this whole thing. Kendall walked over to the bed upset, and shook his head, his entire body shaking and his stomach dipping low. He looked at Logan who slept peacefully and innocently, not knowing anything.

Thoughts filled Kendall's head immensely. How long had this been going on? Did Kelly know? Did he have a second family? Was John about to up and leave his family? Kendall slipped back into bed, just in time for John to come out of the bathroom, and he pretended he was dead asleep. Kendall faced his sleeping best friend, as he heard John settle into bed with a loud sigh and groan, Kendall's fists balled up under the sheets. How could Logan's father do this to his family? How could he be sleeping around with some other woman who had _children_? Kendall bit his lower lip in frustration and had to physically stop himself from getting angry again.

He figured all he could do right now was go to sleep. He could figure out how to handle this stuff in the morning, he was going to have to. Kendall nestled into his pillow and sighed deeply, swallowing hard. Here, he was back to square one.

Kendall Knight, felt absolutely helpless.


	17. Dinner Theater

**A****/N: This chapter is pretty intense, and I think it speaks for itself :D I hope you all enjoy, and make sure to read and review! I'm updating early since my updates have been so late lately, so here you go :D I also want to thank any of my readers who nominated me in the 2011 BTR FanFic awards! It was so great to be nominated in different catergories for a few of my stories, and I'm so thankful. I saw a few people who nominated for me that have never reviewed, so I wanna say don't be shy! Come out and review, tell me what you think is going to happen and all that jazz :D**

**Oh. And like usual, here is another snippet from the wonderful (AWARD WINNING ;D) waterwicca's Past The Sorrow:**

"So, now that you've seen what everyone in town thinks of me… Why would you still love me?" Sage whispered her last words. She had never questioned their feelings for each other before, but being back in the real world made her remember who she was.

She didn't sound sad, but Kendall felt almost sick at the complete disbelief that was in her voice and laced onto her usually serene features. It was as if she couldn't wrap her head around the idea of him loving her unconditionally when it felt like the simplest thing in the world to him. Sometimes, Kendall tried to figure out the whole crazy three weeks in his head, but even his own mind couldn't make sense of itself.

Loving Sage just came about with no real provocation… like breathing or blinking: It just happened… and he wasn't going to question the feeling because he needed it.

"First of all, please don't put yourself down like that. It makes me sad…" Kendall asked of her with a serious frown and begging eyes to make his point clear. Her gentle smile let him know that she heard him loud and clear, and he continued with a playful smirk, "… and, second of all, I have lots of reasons to love you."

"Such as…?" Sage asked with a grin as she turned in Kendall's arms to press her back into his chest while he continued guiding them smoothly along the ice in the empty rink. Kendall smiled as he spoke, loving when they got into these types of conversations… conversations that meant something… meant the world to him.

"When you smile, I can't help but smile too. So, we're never bored…" Kendall whispered into her ear and laced their hands together at her waist, "… I can sit with you in complete silence and feel like nothing needs to be said… I love you because you can read my mind. You always know what I'm thinking with just one look… Why do you love me?" he asked, turning the question back on her as they always did for each other. They would always remain equals.

Sage could hear the flirtation in his voice before she turned once again to look him in the eye.

"Because you're strong. You make me feel safe and free… Your confidence is contagious… When I touch you, I feel like anything is possible; even making Samantha Carson go away," she finished with a small laugh that he returned.

"I like this too," he gestured between their two bodies, "I like that we can play and be serious. We're smiling and flirting one second, and then we turn serious and I can be completely honest with you. There's no reason to be afraid…" Kendall smiled fondly at her, brushing a strand of blonde hair from her face.

Sage's heart flinched at his truthful words. She felt completely guilty because everything was perfect except for her honesty with him. It always came down to one thing… the one thing that dominated her life and thoughts three weeks earlier. Elliot was always the problem…

Sage leaned into his warm caress and decided that she would tell him everything when the time was right. She wanted to wait for the perfect moment, and now was not it. Kendall was looking at her with complete adoration and contentment, and she knew, despite her thoughts about her stepfather, her features were mirroring his own. Kendall always made everything better. He could make a meteor plummeting towards Earth seem like the best thing that's ever happened.

As the couple met in a loving kiss, Sage promised herself she'd tell him…

When the time is right…

**Yes! You love it don't you? You're gonna wanna read and review, I'm telling you! :D**

* * *

_Chapter Seventeen: Dinner Theater_

It had been two weeks since Kendall had returned from California with Logan, and the fact that Mr. Mitchell was seeing another woman on the side **still** hadn't escaped Kendall's lips. He didn't have the heart to tell his best friend, that he man he adored all his life, and was so close to was betraying his family. It was something Kendall almost didn't feel _right_ telling Logan, but at the same time, he felt horrible for having to keep something like this from him.

It was now mid February, and although it was still cold, the air had begun to get a smidgen warmer, a relief for everyone in Duluth who had been bundled up completely since before December. It was the Friday before February vacation for the students of Duluth High, and the boys were excited for another long break from school, Kendall especially.

"Finally, no more school for a week!" James exclaimed excitedly, unlocking his car automatically as the four boys approached it in the sophomore parking lot.

"I know, I could _really_ use a long week away from all these people," Kendall spoke with a bitter chuckle, holding his books to his chest. James went around to the other side of the car opening it as the boys each took their respective spots in the car, Kendall getting the front seat, Carlos and Logan the back.

All four doors open and closed in unison as the boys settled into James' tiny green Accord, buckling up as James started up the ignition.

"So boys, what are our plans for the week?" Kendall turned around to Logan and Carlos with a big smile.

The Latino and the smart boy each subtly smiled at Kendall, but for a different reason than the blonde thought. Kendall had made such tremendous progress with his anger the past few weeks, due to his comical therapy sessions with Dr. Givens, and the love and support of friends and family. The boys were also especially happy about the whole Stella debacle seeming to fade off. They hadn't really heard him talk about her in a few days, even though they _knew_ he was thinking about her constantly. Logan had felt that California had really helped the boy with everything that was going on, and they were all thankful that Kendall's emotions had become a bit more stable.

"I'm probably gonna hang out with my dad before he leaves for New Jersey a bit," Logan said with a smile, Kendall's face instantly dropping. If only Logan knew that after New Jersey, John would be swinging to Manhattan to visit a woman he'd have sex with, and her kids, he'd be in a different kind of mood. "But otherwise, I'm definitely free." Kendall's heart felt pain whenever Logan talked about his father with a smile. He hadn't even told Carlos or James about what had happened in California, but Kendall** knew** that it was going to come out eventually. He felt like he was betraying Logan by holding such a secret.

Kendall nodded shamefully, and his eyes were directed to Carlos, who seemed to be looking out the window a bit lost and confused. The boy had been quiet all day in school, not being his usual, fun, Carlos self and Kendall had noticed. Even at lunch, Carlos had barely touched the left over macaroni and cheese he had brought from home, his favorite dish.

"What about you Carlitos?" he asked brightly, as James began to back out of his parking spot cautiously. Carlos sighed a bit nervously, and bit his lower lip, looking up at all the guys. "What?" he asked, shaking his head confused. James began the venture home, turning left out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"Everything…alright, Carlos?" Kendall asked with a concerned expression on his face, leaning his chin on the edge of the seat. Carlos sighed and shrugged depressed.

"I'm gonna be at my dad's for a bit," Carlos said, swallowing hard. Kendall and Logan looked at Carlos confused, knowing that he hadn't been over his father's house for an extended stay in a while. It wasn't that Carlos didn't love his father, the two just didn't have a good relationship, and especially not when Peter was screaming and yelling at Marta. No matter how hard he tried, that was really the only thing that Carlos could identify his father with, and it killed him.

"Why is that?" Logan asked curiously. Carlos took another deep sigh.

"Mi abeula is moving in Florida, and my mom is going down there to help. So, I'm gonna stay with my dad for a few days," he said dryly, his gaze returning out the window, looking at the suburban houses of Duluth moving by quickly. James, who was stopped at a stoplight, exchanged glances with Kendall, who exchanged glances with Logan. All three boys knew that Carlos' relationship with his dad just seemed to get worse as time went on. Peter Garcia was very stubborn with how he raised Carlos, and while his love for him was unconditional, the love for Marta was definitely **long** gone, and had transformed into hatred over the years, something Carlos was not very fond of.

"Well, you're only a few towns away, me or Kendall could always pick you up," James said with a happy voice, turning back around to see Carlos' face. The boy smiled sadly, and James redirected his eyes to the road, feeling sorry for his best friend.

"I say we have a sleepover," Kendall proclaimed with a smile, turning back around in his seat. James turned to Kendall and raised his eyebrow a bit, hands still on the wheel.

"A sleepover?" James asked with a chuckle. "Where did that come from?"

Kendall shrugged. "I don't know. I just think it'll be fun, and that'll make it easier for Carlos since he is a bit of a drive away. I'll ask my mom when I get home if you guys can come over one day this week," he said with a smile, settling down in his seat comfortably. James, Logan and Carlos all exchanged looks with each other, a bit surprised at Kendall. The boy had seemed overly excited about spending time with his friends, not that they were complaining, but it seemed as if the old, _old_, Kendall was making a reappearance. They hadn't seen him this happy, vibrant, and full of life since his father had passed…nearly a year ago.

"So, what are we going to do at this sleepover?" Logan asked quizzically, trying to figure out if Kendall had some sort of plan up his sleeve. Kendall shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe watch the Wild game, eat stuff that isn't good for us, midnight hockey at Hennery, you know, the usual," Kendall spoke excitedly with a smile.

"Oh, so that means James is gonna talk about a new sexual conquest and we're all going to ask questions about it?" Logan added in with a chuckle. James shook his head and sighed deeply, hands on the wheel as he drove down Carlos' block, ready to drop his first friend off.

"Sorry, Logie. Haven't been with a girl in a few weeks," James said upset, as if it was some national phenomenon. Logan scoffed at his friends' melodramatic nature.

"Better than a few years," Logan muffled out miserably, staring out the window as the car began to slow down a bit. James and Kendall heard his comment, but decided to leave it untouched as Kendall turned his head to James with a bright smile on his face.

"Dude, whatever happened to Amy Gellerman?" Kendall asked quizzically. James sighed deeply and bit his lower lip, pulling the car to the curb in front of Carlos' small little grey and black house, with the small, dead, still frozen shrubbery in front of it.

"I don't know. We kinda fazed out, and the thing with Stephanie, and yeah," James mumbled out, looking down at his hands placed on the bottom of the wheel as Kendall swallowed hard. He didn't even realize that maybe his treatment towards Stephanie Carter had caused a rift between James and Amy. He hadn't even really talked to her since their failed date, even though they had a lot of classes together. Stephanie either totally ignored him, or said a small hi whenever they crossed paths. It hurt Kendall to talk to her, truthfully. It hurt him knowing that there was a sweet, beautiful, fun girl who _really_ liked him who he didn't like back. Although one thought about the girl who_ really_ loved him, gravitated his thoughts, and brought a cheesy smile to his face.

"Oh, I'm—sorry," Kendall said, looking away from James who punched his shoulder playfully and smiled.

"Not a problem, dude. It was gonna end sooner or later," James spoke with a chuckle, his hands tightening on the steering wheel, as he put the car in park I front of Carlos' mailbox.

"I'll see you later guys," Carlos spoke gruffly, snatching his backpack from the middle seat, and throwing it over his shoulder carelessly. He got out and closed the back door with a slam, as the three remaining boys all watched as Carlos angrily walking up his pathway.

"He doesn't seem too happy about his dad," Logan said softly, looking out at Carlos' fumbly messing with the key in his pocket, as James waited for the boy to get in the house. With one slam of the front glass door, James put the car in drive and slowly began to ease from the curb.

Kendall cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to get off the topic of fathers, and sighed loudly, trying to keep his smile on his face.

"So I'm thinking that maybe we can go out to the diner or something, then back to my house, and then of _course_ go to Hennery for midnight hockey. Whatddya say?" he asked the two boys, looking back at each of them with a smile on his face. Logan smiled back at him and furrowed his brows confused, cocking his head to the side peculiarly.

"What's with you being so 'plan oriented', Kendall?" Logan asked with a chuckle. James snorted as he took a left onto one of Duluth's main streets. "You're the one who always just says "If we drive, we'll end up somewhere,"."

"I don't know. I just…I wanna spend time with you guys," Kendall spoke from the heart with a smile on his face. "We have this whole entire vacation off, and I think it'd be good if we took the time to spend it all together, like we used to in middle school," he spoke out with a smile. It was true. Kendall felt that he should be happy with his friends, especially since they had all stuck by him the past few weeks. He needed to be happy, because it was the only thing that was keeping him from toppling over. He missed Stella terribly, and everyday he expected to hear from her, but never did. It was indeed a great disappointment to the boy, but he didn't want to break down anymore. He _knew_ that he had met Stella for a reason, and that soon enough, she **was** going to come back into his life.

"Aw. How cute," James mocked laughing, as Kendall playfully punched his arm with a chuckle.

"No hurting the driver, Kendall. I'd _really_ you know, like to get home in one piece," Logan said nervously from the backseat, holding onto the bar on the ceiling of the car.

"Oh relax Logie, James is a great driver," Kendall said with a smile, leaning back into his seat with a sigh and smile. A few minutes later, James pulled up to the Knight house, and Kendall hoisted his books into his arms and sighed with a smile.

"So I guess I'll talk to you guys tonight, I'll let you know what the plans are for this week, alright?" he said excitedly, getting out of the car.

"Sounds good, K-Dawg," James said with a smile, resting his hands on the steering wheel, as Logan climbed from the backseat, to the front seat. Kendall moseyed up the path of his house, as he watched James and Logan speed away.

Things were getting back to normal.

* * *

It was around 5:00 PM when Marta walked in the door from work. Her feet ached, her head pounded, and her stomach growled the second she walked into the house with a sigh. She closed the door behind her and locked it, along with kicking her shoes near the others by the door she sighed, itching at her stockings.

"_Mijo! _I'm home!" she called out into the empty house, her slightly accented voice echoing through the hallways. Marta sighed and rubbed her head, knowing she had so much to do before she went to Florida tomorrow morning. She had to help her mother move into her retirement community, and seeing as that she barely had enough money for her own plane ticket, there was no way she could possibly take Carlos with her. She had to finish packing, drive Carlos to Peter's and

"Kitchen, Mami," Carlos responded. Marta brought her hands to her short black hair, and ran her fingers through it comfortingly, as she walked into the kitchen. She saw Carlos in front of the stove, with a big pot of water on it, filled with what she figured to be pasta, since the empty red, white and green boxes next to him clearly spoke for themselves. Carlos was stirring the pasta around with a wooden spoon, as he turned his head and saw his mother walking towards him.

"How was work?" he asked her with a small smile on his face, as Marta chuckled, and came next to him at the stove. She gently kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair a bit, as Carlos concentrated on his pasta.

"It was alright. How was school?" she asked with a pleasant smile.

Carlos shrugged and sighed deeply, clearing his throat as Marta softly ran her fingers through the short hair on the back of his neck. She knew that Carlos' recent blahze attitude was because he wasn't looking forward to spending days at his father's house, and that killed Marta. Peter was still Carlos' father, and while **she** didn't love him anymore, she felt it was still important for Carlos to have a father figure in his life. Carlos had _adored_ his father growing up, but Marta felt that maybe because her son was living with her, and spent most of his time with her, that he was starting to detest his father, and she didn't want that whatsoever. Peter was a good father to Carlos, and he always had been. That's why she figured having him stay at his father's, rather than a friend's house for a night or two was the best option. She desperately felt that she needed to fix this relationship between the two, even if Carlos didn't know it.

"So, making pasta for yourself?" Marta asked quizzically, letting out a small chuckle. Carlos smiled looking into the pot and shook his head no.

"I figured I'd cook dinner tonight. I know you have a lot of packing and stuff to do before your flight leaves tomorrow morning," Carlos said selflessly, dipping the spoon into the pot and taking out one piece of pasta to test. He blew on it softly, as Marta looked at him in awe. Her heart nearly burst when she noticed the set table behind her, two plates, glasses, forks and napkins, along with a small bowl of bread in the center. He slowly chewed on the pasta, making sure it wasn't too hard, as he reached over and turned the stove down.

"Mom, can you get me the strainer please?" Carlos asked, adding a pinch more salt to the pot. Marta wanted nothing more than to throw her son into her arms, and give him a big hug. Carlos had always been the kind of person who put other's first, especially her. The times when he would just come over to her, and wrap his arms around her shaking, crying frame, whether he was four, or fourteen.

Carlos was the only man in her life, who had ever unconditionally loved her, and it showed.

"Of course," Marta said with a raspy, weak voice, walking over to the pantry across the room and getting out the white strainer. She placed it in the sink, as Carlos carefully brought the pot off the stove, and poured into the strainer, watching all the water come out of the bottom into the sink. Putting the pot aside, he washed the pasta with cold water as Marta went over to the fridge to get the butter, and a pitcher of water. She placed both down on the table, and took a seat, as Carlos brought over a large bowl of pasta and butter, setting it down between them with an accomplished sigh.

"It was very sweet of you to cook dinner, _Mijo,_" Marta said with a smile, as Carlos sat down next to her with a sigh. He smiled at his mother and swallowed hard.

"It was my pleasure, mom," he said, as he picked up his fork and poured himself a glass of water. "It's the least I can do," he added, before taking a large scoop of pasta onto his plate. Marta sighed, and looked how quiet, and conservative her usually bouncing off the walls son was being. It hurt her to know that Carlos was nervous, and not looking forward to being without her for a few days.

"Carlos, are you nervous to spend a few days at your father's?" Marta asked outright, as he passed her the bowl of pasta. Carlos seemed surprised at his mother's question, as he furrowed his eyebrows and took a large helping of pasta in his mouth, hoping to think of a quick answer to his mother's question. It was true. He was a bit nervous to spend time with his father, seeing as that the two didn't have the best relationship.

"Not really," Carlos spoke out after swallowing the pasta, reaching for his glass of water. Marta raised an eyebrow at him and smiled at him suspiciously.

"Not…really?" she asked. Carlos sighed and looked down at his plate, knowing that his mother was going to figure him out eventually.

"I don't know, Mami. It's just, you _know_ me and dad don't have the closest relationship," he spoke softly, pushing around the pasta on his plate, looking down at it.

"I know, baby. But you do know your father loves you more than you can imagine, right? I mean, he calls you almost every day to check up on you and see how you're doing. He's been coming to all your hockey games since God knows when. He really loves you, Carlos. And he's excited to spend time with you," she spoke softly.

Carlos scoffed and looked down at his food. "I know you're just saying that so I'll feel better about going. I know dad loves me, but I can guarantee half the time I'm there he won't even be there," Carlos spoke angrily, Marta giving him a look of surprise.

"What if I told you that he said it himself?" Marta asked, shoveling pasta between her lips. Carlos' head spiked up at Marta's words and he half smiled, but for a reason Marta didn't expect.

"You mean you two actually talked without yelling at each other?" Carlos asked in an innocent, sweet voice.

His big brown eyes shone, and it was if he was a mere five years old again. Marta's heart dropped when she saw her son's excitement, and it saddened her beyond belief. She had known that all the screaming and yelling that had gone in their house for about three constant years had somewhat affected Carlos, but she was only finding out now how bad it really was. He had automatically sided with his mother, grown some underlying dislike for a man who loved him to death, and what Marta _didn't _know, that he had figured out in his own head that true love doesn't exist, without hatred, and scorn being involved. It hurt her to know what she had put her son through has altered his views on people and issues so much, especially when she had never expected it.

"Yes, can you believe it?" Marta joked softly, covering up her devastation.

* * *

"Sweetie, can you pass the chicken and broccoli please," Kim asked with a smile. Kendall picked up the white carton next to him, and gave it to his mom as she smiled at him and stuck her fork into it.

Seeing as that Katie was spending the night at a friend's house, and Kendall and Kim weren't all that hungry, both mother and son decided that Chinese take-out would be the definite best option. Kim also was glad that Katie wasn't home, seeing as that she had something very important to talk to Kendall about, figuring it'd be best talked over food.

"Oh ma, I forgot. Can I have the guys stay over this weekend, or maybe Monday into Tuesday or something?" Kendall asked, serving himself more white rice onto his plate. Kim wiped her mouth with a napkin and looked at Kendall with a nervous smile.

"Listen, Kendall. There is something I want to talk to you about," Kim said. Kendall looked up at her a bit confused and scared. That was something that you never wanted to hear out of a mother's mouth. Kendall's insides began to twist and turn a bit, his mind racing, trying to figure out if there was anything he had done wrong the past few days. He hadn't lied to his mother once since he told her all about Stella, nor had he lashed out at either his mother or sister, or anyone else for that matter. Even though it was super hard, with therapy, the love from his friends and family, and true honesty, Kendall believed he was getting better.

Kim sighed deeply and smiled. "I know that you've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, and that you've gone through a lot in the past year," she started off with a small smile. Kendall nodded, slipping some white rice into his mouth and swallowing it nervously. "I was on the phone with Jenny Tregger last week, and she mentioned to me that you and Bryan still keep in somewhat contact," Kim said. Kendall nodded. It was true. Bryan Tregger was a good kid, definitely an amazing hockey star, and all in all, someone Kendall considered a friend. The two had texted on occasion about Wild games, their seasonal records, and Kendall had also asked Bryan about some schools that gave out good hockey scholarships. They weren't by any means incredibly close, but Kendall liked the kid, even though he was as awkward as could be.

"Yeah, so?" Kendall asked. Kim sighed deeply and smiled at her son.

"Well, Jenny offered an invitation for you to go up there next week, if you'd like to," Kim said. Kendall's eyes got wide, and he smiled, the flecks of gold in his eyes shimmering with his mother's words. His heart started beating faster and faster, as his lips pulled up into a smile.

"S-seriously?" he asked, clutching his fork tightly. Kim took another helping of food, nodding her head cautiously.

"She said you are definitely welcome. And I know you've been really trying to calm yourself down, and you've been really patient with Dr. Givens, and me. And—I think you deserve it," Kim said carefully with a small smile. "**But** only if you behave yourself up there. I don't want to hear about you getting into any fights," Kim spoke sternly. Kendall nodded no and smiled, his breathing picking up. Even though Stella wasn't still at the general store, maybe she was still by Thief Great Falls. She had to be right? He _knew_ he was going to get to see her again. He just knew it. His heart started beating at just the image of the beautiful blonde, and how he would be able to kiss and hold her again, and maybe even be inside of her.

"Of course! Yes! I want to go!" Kendall exclaimed with laughter, licking his lips in excitement, clutching the table. Kim sighed again and looked in her son's eyes, not wanting to crush his heart, but having to. She paused a moment before looking at him in a motherly way.

"Sweetheart, I-I know you're going to go up there, expecting to see her. That's why I was wary about even telling you about the invitation," Kim spoke, Kendall's eyes still turned up into a smile, obvious to his mother. Kim reached her hand out to him and stroked it gently. "But I don't want you to be upset if she isn't up there. The reason I'm allowing you to go is to hang out with Bryan, and maybe get your head really set on straight up there alright? I'm glad the guys have been helping you out with all the stuff you need to be helped out with, but I'm hoping that when you go up there, you're really going to figure some things out," Kim spoke softly, alluding to her master plan that her son had no idea of. Kendall looked at her a bit confused, biting his lower lip.

"W-what exactly are you saying?" he asked her, scrunching up his face. Kim sighed and swallowed hard, not knowing how he was going to take this.

"Kendall, I **know** that you care about Stella. And I believe you, because I know that when you are passionate about something, you give it your all, you make it yours, and you don't give up," she started off, smiling at him. Kendall nodded at her smiling and bit his lower lip. "But I just," she paused for a second and sighed deeply. "I don't want you to go up there, thinking that you'll see her, and then you don't. I understand that it's very possible that you are in love with her Kendall. I get that. But sometimes, true love exists for reasons…reasons that we can't really explain," Kim spoke with a small smile, looking into the boy's eyes. Kendall looked at her with an honest, innocent expression, trying to make sense of her words. "Just because you love someone, doesn't mean that they are the best person to be with, sweetheart. And you know that you're in love, when you can finally see that you can let people go, no matter how hard it is," Kim continued on, her soft blue eyes locked on Kendall's green ones. "Okay?" she spoke softly, unsure about how her son was going to react.

Kendall could do nothing but nod, and realize that his mother was totally correct.

"Okay, mom," he said with a small smile.

Kendall couldn't help but feel his heart beat faster and his palms get clammy, just _knowing_ that Stella was awaiting him.

* * *

Kelly, John and Logan sat the kitchen table silently, the only thing being heard were the scraping of forks and knifes over the china that they used. The Mitchell's dining room was completely black and white, with a large glass table, a hanging ceiling lamp, with black chairs, black placemats and stark white square dishes.

"Delicious meal, Kel," John spoke with a small smile at his wife, taking a sip of soda from his glass. Kelly smiled politely and nodded, taking another helping of asparagus, as an awkward tension hung in the air between the couple. Logan had noticed that lately, even when John _was_ home to eat with them, they didn't have the family discussions that they used to have. The discussions Logan used to _live_ for.

Logan remembered clearly the many times Kelly, John and him would have lively talks about Logan's day at school, or his upcoming hockey games. He thought about all the dinners he was allowed to choose whenever he got an A+ on his math test, the new encyclopedias or telescopes that Kelly and John would surprise him with whenever he won the spelling bee, or science fair, and the expensive, custom made cakes Logan would get for his birthday ever year, his turning sixteen just a few weeks away. It seemed like Logan always had this perfect family on the outside, but from the very beginning, Logan _knew_ that his family wasn't ordinary in the way they interacted.

The boy reminisced about how during school vacations, when he and the boys would sleep over Kendall's in elementary school, before Mr. Knight would leave the house for work, he'd give Kendall a kiss on the forehead, baby Katie a kiss on the forehead, and Mrs. Knight a soft, tender kiss on the lips. Logan always wondered why his father usually just bid him and his mother an informal good-bye when he left the house, with no kisses whatsoever. Even when he was younger, the boy didn't really remember a time where he ever saw his mother and father show any _real_ affection towards each other. And only now, in his later years, was he noticing it. Wasn't love supposed to be so awesome, that you could barely keep your hands off your partner? If Kendall's parents had been like that, and James' parents were _more_ than that, why weren't Logan's anything like it?

"What's the matter sweetie? You're so quiet tonight," Kelly said with a soft voice, looking at her son with a frown. Logan sighed and pushed around his mashed potatoes on his plate with the silvery, shiny fork, the light from the fixture above seeming to beat down on him.

"Just tired," Logan said half-honestly, not having the mind to come up with some elaborate story about why he was so _blah_ today. The boy looked to his dad with a small smile, his mind racing with all the excitement about what they could possibly do together this week.

"Dad, when are you leaving for New Jersey?" Logan asked, taking a bit of mashed potatoes on his fork, and scooping them into his mouth. John coughed a bit, and brought his linen napkin to his mouth, wiping it with alive eyes, his mind formulating a timeline respective to the meeting of his mistress.

"Uh…Tuesday," John said, taking another sip of his soda. Logan smiled up at his father.

"Well the Wild is playing on Monday, and I wanna hang out with you a bit before you leave. Wanna watch it together?" Logan asked excitedly. John smiled and nodded with guilty eyes.

"Of course, Loag. Sounds great," John said with a smile. Kelly turned to John with a stern, but kind face, batting her eyelashes at him, biting her lower lip.

"What day are you getting back?" she asked. John sighed and sat back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling, trying his best to figure out what day would suffice his business trip to Jersey, along with his little swing by New York.

"Probably Friday. Maybe Saturday. It depends how long it takes with this contract," John said stoically, trying his best to keep his voice from wavering. The man had a lot of practice. Kelly said nothing, but looked down at her plate and continued eating.

Logan looked between his parents, and felt as if there was some invisible ice shield between them. He had seen pictures from their youth, and how his dad used to look at his mom like she was the best thing in the world. But now, to Logan, it seemed as if things were changing. His dad looked at his mom as if she was…as if she was any other attractive, middle aged woman on the street. He wondered if maybe this strain between his parents was serious, taking note that the two were ever barely in the same room at the same time except bed and dinner, and that his mother was becoming more and more lethargic, upset, and _less_ uptight.

Logan shifted the food around on his plate, noticing that he really wasn't hungry anymore, as all that was heard in the Mitchell's dining room was the clanking of glasses, and the scratches of forks.

* * *

"So sweetie, everything between you and Kendall is resolved?" Lucie asked, serving James some more fresh, arugula salad. James nodded, licking his lips at the food below him, and clutching his fork in his hand tightly, beyond ready to eat his mother's famous homemade macaroni and cheese, with a side oil and vinegar salad.

"Ma, it's been resolved for like a few weeks now. Before Kendall even went to California," James said, digging hungrily into his food, as Lucie served herself finally, the two Diamond men already well into their servings.

"And I see your nose has healed quite nicely," Jason said with a chuckle, as James rolled his eyes. Of course, his father had made fun of him the entire time he had the heinous bruise on his nose, only after making sure James was mentally alright about the whole fight with Kendall.

Neither Lucie nor Jason could believe that Kendall Knight, even knowing a bit about his rage problems, could _ever _go as far to punch his best friend. James had explained to them the situation, and of course being the good parents they were, they had sat James down and explained to him that Kendall was _still_ going through a tough time, and that while he was entitled to his own opinions, he had to be sensitive about them. Lucie and Jason didn't touch on the subject of love at all, something James was thankful for, knowing his lovey dovey parents would totally and most definitely believe Kendall over him.

"Yeah, real funny dad," James groaned out, taking a helpful of the delicious meal into his mouth. Lucie finally sat down at rest with a usual cheerful smile on her face, digging into her own creation.

"So _brune_, how was school today?" Lucie asked cheerfully, taking a helping of salad into her mouth. James shrugged as he chewed, taking his glass to his lips.

"The usual," he said with a shrug, taking a sip of his iced tea. Jason laughed and fixed his horn rimmed glasses, looking at his son with a smile.

"And what_ is_ the usual, James?" Jason asked with a slight cock of his left eyebrow. James looked at his quirky as ever father quite confused with a slight chuckle. James never understood half the things his father did or said, but to the boy, it was as entertaining as could be to have a father like Jason Diamond.

"Uh, school, books, choir?" James answered confusedly, returning back to his food. Jason shrugged and went back to eating as well as Lucie's eyes lit up and she smiled, as if she had just guessing the winning lottery numbers for that night in Duluth.

"Oh sweetie! I forgot to tell you," Lucie spoke, chewing and swallowing the rest of her food, a smile on her bright red pursed lips that looked straight painted on. James was confused whether she was talking to him or his father, seeing as the affectionate nickname, along with a few others James didn't understand due to his mother's French heritage, has been thrown around the house confusingly for as long as James could remember.

James and Jason both looked up, and James found his mother's soft eyes locked on him.

"Yeah?" he asked. Lucie smiled, and grabbed Jason's hand beside her, and James furrowed his eyebrows at the two hands entwined. It either meant some sort of big announcement was coming from his mother, or that something was wrong. However Lucie looked happy, so James figured it must be good.

"Me and your father are going away for our anniversary next week. He's taking me to a romantic hotel for the night," Lucie said with lust in her eyes, looking over at her husband who was beaming at her. Between both of the love in their eyes, James felt as if he was going to be sick.

"Okay, and?" James asked, continuing to eat.

"Well, either you can stay the night at one of your friends, stay with Aunt Sylvia, _or,_" Lucie spoke out with a smile, to which James looked up at surprised. "You can spend the night alone." James smiled widely and a firecracker went off in his head. _Alone? _Did his parents _know_ what he could possibly do alone? James' mind immediately went to the idea that if he _was_ home alone, he could have a girl over here, and they could be as loud, and various as they wanted with their locations of sex.

"Seriously?" James asked with a smile. Jason nodded and looked at his son with a smile.

"We know that you're responsible James, and we trust you for a night on your own. And Mrs. Knight and Kendall are just a few minutes away if there is an emergency," Jason said nodding his head. James looked between both of his parents, smiling widely at this new found trust and confidence they had in him, being aware that not even for a second did their hands part, or smiles cease.

"Yeah! Of course!" James enthused loudly. He furrowed his brows confused for a second and looked between his parents with a confused grin. "B-but I thought you guys married in July?" he asked. Jason and Lucie both nodded, giggling to each other, keeping some sort of inside secret between them that James had _no_ desire to know.

Interrupting the giggling was the vibration of James' phone in his pocket. Putting his fork down and wiping his mouth, James slid his phone from his pocket, seeing there was one new message from Kendall.

_**From: **_Kendallllll

Come over ASAP. Big time news :)

James looked at the text confused, his lower lip sticking out about, as he wondered what the news could possibly be. Maybe Kendall had gotten some word from Stella, or something like that. Whatever it was, James _knew_ it had _something_ to do with the blonde girl that Kendall still was infatuated with. Looking up, he had saw that his parents were quietly eating with their hands still enclosed, even though they no longer had anything to tell James. James shook his head and slipped his phone back into his pocket with a deep sigh.

"I'm gonna shoot over to Kendall's after dinner, okay?" he told his mother.

"Sure thing, sweetie. Be home by eleven," Lucie said, looking up at Jason with a seductive smile.

xxxx

"So what is so important, that I had to drive _all _the way to Hugo to pick up Carlos, and then bring him _all_ the way back here?" James asked with a sigh, him and Carlos finally settling down on the floor of Kendall's room. Logan was already there sitting against the desk with a confused, tired expression on his face. Carlos turned to James with a small, innocent face of burden and James looked at him with a reassuring smile.

"I'm kidding buddy, no problem picking you up," James whispered to his friend, Carlos immediately smiling at the brunette. Kendall closed the door to his room and bit his lower lip with excitement, his body racing, eyes jumping and the fireworks inside him exploding. He had never been so excited to tell his friends in all his life that he may be able to see Stella again, after so many days of being without her. The words didn't seem comprehendible in his mind, and he didn't know how he was going to say it.

"Guys, I'm going back to Thief River Falls for vacation, and I might be able to see her!" Kendall spoke excitedly, still standing, his eyes going from boy to boy, looking for a reaction that would satisfy him.

Logan looked a bit confused, Carlos looked deeply upset, and James…well, James seemed anything but happy. Kendall's face began to drop a bit, as the three boys looked at each other, with the exception of Carlos who looked down at the floor miserably and quietly.

"Ok_aaaaa_y…someone say…something?" Kendall asked softly, his voice small and weak. James and Logan each read each other's eyes, Logan being the first to speak up.

"I thought you wanted to spend this entire vacation with us….here…in Duluth?" Logan asked curiously. Kendall smiled and nodded nervously, looking up to the ceiling, trying to get his words straight in order to explain this to his friends.

"I know, but guys, this is a chance I may _never_ get again. She-she could be up there, and I could get to see her again, and kiss her, and be with her again," Kendall exclaimed happily, the words just spilling out of his mouth like candy from a piñata. It was if there was absolutely nothing that mattered at this point, except that fact that he _might _see Stella. Even just talking about her sent waves of excitement through Kendall, and got his heart to kick start into overdrive. "Do you _know_ how perfect that would be?" he asked them in desperation, pacing his room back and forth. James sighed and swallowed hard.

"Dude, do you even know if she is really there?" he asked carefully. Kendall looked at him and sighed deeply, rolling his eyes, knowing this was the one drawback.

"No, but I mean, how could I not take the chance to find out?" Kendall exclaimed.

Carlos said nothing, looking down at the floor. Logan looked next to him at his friend and noticed how upset he looked. Seeking refuge at Kendall's for a day or two is what was going to get him away from the father he felt he had no relationship with, and now with Kendall going away, he had broken his promise to Carlos. Logan began to get angry at Kendall for how selfish he was being lately. It was if some rage was floating through his skin, through his veins, and through his mind.

Logan looked over at James, who he _knew_ felt the same way, but didn't want to start anything again. Kendall Knight stood and looked at his three quiet, best friends in awe with a disappointed look on his face. He shook his head and let out a small chuckle, biting the inside of his cheek and sighing entertained. He half expected this.

"Well, I guess I should've known better," Kendall said sarcastically, crossing his arms. "You guys think I shouldn't go, don't you?" he asked. James, Logan and Carlos all looked up at their somewhat tyrannical best friend. Yes. Kendall Knight was definitely right about what he had said, but the emotion fleeting through all four boys was absolutely monumental at that moment. James took a deep breath, knowing that Logan and Carlos weren't going to say anything to the blonde, but just as his lips were about to move, Logan spoke up.

"It's foolish to go up there, Kendall. You are just going to get your heart broken when you get up there," Logan said sternly, his voice surprisingly not wavering at all. Kendall looked at where the voice came from in surprise. He had _surely _bet that James would have a problem, but not Logan, his _best friend._ Kendall stared at the smart boy in awe for a few seconds, not truly comprehending what was said.

"What do you mean?" Kendall asked him, still standing across the room. Logan sighed pained and concerned, as if he didn't want to say the next thing that came out of his mouth. Carlos and James gave each other concerned looks, both not knowing what was going to spew out of Logan's mouth next, wondering if he could even really handle this confrontation.

"You go up there, and say she's not there, and then **you** come back from Thief Great Falls angry, and depressed, and we start from square one again," Logan spoke quickly, Kendall's eyebrows furrowing a bit. He shook his head in disbelief, looking to James and Carlos for some sort of back-up, but there was none. Kendall looked at his other two friends who were quiet, James with a guilty face and Carlos with a quiet one.

"That's not true, Logan. And what if she is up there?" Kendall asked, a bit pissed off.

"And what if she's not Kendall?" Logan immediately responded, his voice strong and confident. "What if this runaway girl you slept with isn't in the place you met her? What if she is in Virginia, or New York, or California? What are the odds of her being there if she didn't get your letter?" Logan said angrily, his heart beating, the blood rushing to his face. Kendall looked at his raven haired friend in a bit of awe.

"Why can't you guys just be happy for me? I don't understand," Kendall spoke angrily, his temper beginning to flare. Logan saw that his green eyes became a bit brighter in the center, and dark around the edges. Kendall was getting angry, and Logan didn't want to face that wrath, but he was going to have to.

"Because you're leaving the three of us in the dust to go chase after some girl that you're obsessed with!" Logan cried out, standing up as he said it. His breathing got heavier and heavier, and he licked his lips in frustration and surprise. "You're not going to find her up there, Kendall! You're gonna go up there, find nothing, and then come back here angry, and mad, and upset. Look how good you have been lately with your problems? You wanna throw all that progress away?" he asked the blonde. "It's totally illogical."

Kendall looked at Logan angrily, his eyebrows cast down and his mouth in a thin line. "First of all, I'm not _obsessed_ with her. I _love_ her. And she loves me back," he stated gruffly. "And second of all, she is going to be up there, Logan. I feel it. I feel it like I did the first time we kissed, or the first time we held hands. She is up there, and I know it," he spoke out, his fists balled at his sides.

Logan, who took a few steps closer to the boy, watched as James and Carlos sat there quietly, and in shock.

"You know what your problem is? You think that everything is going to go your way, when it's not. Wake the fuck up, Kendall! Why wouldn't she respond to your letter if she was up there! She's **gone**. She had **no intention** of sending you letters, or any of that stuff. She was never in love with you, and you were never in love with her, so stop pretending to play this bullshit, love sick game with us! It's pathetic," Logan yelled out, his entire body leaning towards Kendall and shaking a bit.

Kendall looked at Logan in awe. Never had he heard the small boy so eloquent, yet totally pissed off and angry. Kendall didn't know what to say, the anger rising up in him more per minute, as his eyes shifted to James and Carlos who sat speechless on the floor, next to each other. One look in their eyes, and Kendall _knew_ what side they were on.

"You know what, Logan. _You're_ pathetic," Kendall spewed out with venom, laughing a bit in disbelief. Kendall had controlled the urge to punch Logan in the face, and went for a rude comment instead, something he had learned from therapy the past few weeks. "Cause you're oblivious, alright? You think you're gonna spend this vacation with your dad before he goes to Jersey? What if I told you after Jersey, he was going to New York to fuck some woman with two kids?" Kendall spoke with wide eyes, not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth. His insides felt like they were going to churn when he saw Logan's face turn upside down, and the boy's eyes shift into worry for a split second, before disappearing entirely.

"What are you even talking about?" Logan asked Kendall nervously, trying to play it off as he wasn't concerned. Kendall laughed out of anger and stepped closer to Logan.

"Your dad was on the phone in California with some **woman**, telling her how he was gonna make love to her in New York after his trip to Jersey, Logan. I heard the **whole **conversation," Kendall said, his voice gaining a little more sympathy for his best friend. Kendall figured Logan was going to be upset about all of this, and fall to the floor in a heap of tears. Kendall would be more than glad to pick his friend back up, knowing that this fight was stupid, and trivial. However, Kendall Knight couldn't be more wrong. Logan balled his fists up at his sides and looked Kendall straight in the eye.

"Just because _**you**_don't have a father, **doesn't** mean you can ruin mine," Logan got out slowly, between gritted teeth.

Kendall looked at Logan Mitchell in awe, as James immediately stood up like the floor was on fire, Carlos following.

"Logan," James spoke softly clutching his best friends shoulder tightly, as Kendall stood there absolutely silent, and frozen. "That's enough, man."

"No, it's not James," Logan said hitting James hand off his shoulder, his voice starting to crack a bit. He looked back at Kendall with venom in his eyes, his heart pumping fast. "He's gonna go up there, not find this girl, and come back here all upset, and **we**," he said, motioning to the other two bots, "are going to have to pick up the pieces again," he yelled out at a frozen Kendall, his face tensing up a bit. "Just because he thinks he is in love with this stupid girl. And you all think it, so don't even try to tell me I'm wrong."

Kendall still said nothing, tears coming to his green eyes as his three best friends stood on the other side of the room. Looking in all of their eyes, Carlos' at the floor, James' on Kendall's and Logan's on James' he figured out what was going on here. This was more than leaving for a winter vacation. None of the three boys had given Kendall full support about Stella and his love, and only **now** was he realizing that things had been going on behind his back. James, nor Carlos, nor Logan said anything, silence hanging in the air like a dark, ominous cloud. Kendall covered his chin with his hand, standing there with tears shimmering in his eyes as he cleared his throat.

"Out," he said easily motioning his head to the door with a stern face on. James sighed and started to walk over to Kendall, hoping he could maybe apologize for the stupid things the raven haired boy said.

"Relax, man," he spoke softly, but Kendall gave him a deadly stare.

"Out. All of you. Get out of my room, get out of my house," Kendall spoke angrily, his voice wavering with fear. His fists were clenched at his side, and he jaw was set as he looked hard at the people he called his best friends. He walked up to Logan with a straight lipped expression, his eyebrows knitted over glassy eyes. "And how **dare** you bring **my** father into this you fucking jackass!" Kendall screamed through the silence, a tear falling down his cheek, his expression twisted in hurt. His hands shook, his body starting to convulse, as Logan looked ashamed at his best friend, knowing how bad Kendall was hurting right now.

"Let's go guys," James said softly, tugging out Carlos, as Logan slowly followed, Kendall's eyes stuck to him the entire time.

The three boys silently walked out of Kendall's room, as the blonde harshly shut the door behind them. He then immediately sank to the floor, buried his head in his hands, and hysterically cried.

* * *

Clutching her blue sweater to her chest, along with the blue cardigan that hung over her shoulders, Stella quickly walked down the snowy road from the bus stop with a smile on her face. With each step she took, her heart grew more wary, but greater, as the desire to see Kendall Knight, or read one of his letters enveloped her heart.

She walked down the street with a small smile passing her pink lips as she looked up at the large, wooden sign, covered in snow and ice.  
_  
__**Thief River Falls. Population, 8,410.**_

Stella smiled, as continued on forward, towards the lights of the stores on Main Street. She was home again.


	18. Retrace

**A/N: Another chapter of Hooked all! I know this is a bit on the shorter side, but next week y'all in for a treat :) Special thanks to waterwicca, just because she is awesome!**

**And speaking of waterwicca, here is a snippet from the WONDERFUL Past The Sorrow:**

Kendall and Sage hadn't said a single word to each other during the drive or as they moved stealthily up the staircase and into his room. Katie was fast asleep, but the light from Karen's bedroom flooded from the bottom of the door, creating a harsh, bright line across the dark floor of the hallway. The two teenagers shuffled into Kendall's room. They looked at each other for a moment. Just as Sage was about to break the silence there was knock at the door. The blonde girl stared at her boyfriend with wide eyes and then snapped into action, shutting herself inside of his closet.

"Come in," Kendall called out just above a whisper. His body had gone completely rigid, and his eyes were locked on his closet door.

"Did you get Sage home okay?" Karen walked in with a warm smile.

"Y-yeah," his voice cracked slightly at the lie. Sage was not okay.

"What's wrong?" Karen immediately sensed the change in her son's attitude. He had lost his cheery demeanor, "…You seem upset. Were you crying? Did you and Sage have a fight?"

"Absolutely not!" Kendall raised his voice. He was agitated and defensive. He still wanted to beat the shit out of Elliot until the man's heart stopped beating… and he just wanted to hold Sage. Kendall's body wasn't just aching and tingling like usual. It was burning like hell. It was as if there was poison running a marathon through his veins. It was so debilitating… he felt utterly helpless and out of control.

"Okay…" his mother responded uneasily at his tone.

"Sorry, Mom," he recovered with a false smile that physically hurt his face. "I'm…I'm just tired…"

"Alright…" Karen was still hesitant but decided to drop the subject, "I'll let you go to bed then. Sweet dreams!"

Kendall only managed to respond with a slight nod before his mother made her exit. He knew that he would most likely have nightmares, and he'd be lucky if he didn't dream at all.  
Even after Karen left, he stood completely still, waiting to hear her door shut at the other end of the hall. As soon as he heard the gentle click of the knob, he rushed over to his closet and ripped the door open.

Kendall's heart broke even more than he thought possible at the sight he was met with. He thought it had completely shattered the second Sage had hit the floor by Elliot's hand, but now she was standing there half cloaked in darkness. She was finally crying with strangled breaths and hot tears running down her abused face. She let out a shaky sob and bit her lip before running and launching herself into Kendall's arms. She jumped to wrap her legs around his waist and buried her head into his neck. Sage had never needed him more.

Kendall backed up and sat on his bed with her wrapped in his embrace. He let her cry, his own tears falling as he rubbed her back soothingly. He used his arms to pull them against the headboard so that Sage sat fully in his lap with her hands clutching onto him. Kendall finally let his muscles relax against the bed. This was as good as it was going to get for the time being. He had Sage captured tightly in his arms… She was safe… for now….

**You love it, don't you? Yeah, I thought so. Read and Review!**

**And make sure to Read and ****Review**** Hooked! Don't be shy! Tell me what you think, please! Reviews definitely encourage me! :D**

**I don't own anything except Stella and The Tregger's, and other OC's. I don't own Retrace by Anberlin. **

* * *

_Chapter Eighteen: Retrace_

For late February, even in Thief River Falls, it was freezing. Stella's freckled cheeks were naturally rouged by the quick and bitter wind that traveled through the town, chills cascading up and down her back, through the thin blue cardigan of Kendall's she wore. It must've been at least 11 o'clock at night as she wandered down Main Street, her heart beating faster anytime she saw a man that resembled anything _close_ to Kendall.

_**Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.  
And I lied, broken words I said.  
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.  
Standing where it all began.  
Tried to forget when I left this town,  
But it takes me right back when I come back around.**_

Stella closed her eyes as she walked with each step, thinking of Kendall. How much she missed his touch, how much she loved his green eyes, how warm his hands were. She thought of how his lips fit perfectly on hers, how slim and muscular his body was and of course, the way his beautiful voice carried through air like magic. As she walked more and more down Main Street, she thought of how she could've ever pushed him away, knowing that the he was the only one that loved her, even if she didn't know why. She thought of all the lies she told him, and how distant she was at first to this boy who she indeed was in love with. Stella wanted nothing more than see Kendall in front of her, but knew that it was reality and it going to be a long while until she saw him again.

_**Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.  
I'm right there by your side.  
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.  
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.**_

Stella looked up at the stars, and smiled as she continued her walk. They had guided her here. Not all by themselves of course, seeing as she had taken a few buses the past few days to get here. But she knew that up in the heavens, they were still watching her, telling her it was right to come here. She thought of how she and Kendall had planned to stargaze together that night in the cabin, but ended up making love instead. Just the thought of having him like that made Stella shudder with delight, as well as disgust for her intercourse with Cooper that she had cried rivers over in regret.

_**Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name.  
It reminds me of places of times we shared.  
Couldn't live locked in these memories.  
Now I'm chained to my thoughts again.  
And I tried to forget when I left this town,  
But I'll take you right back if you come back around.**_

She had tried so hard to forget Kendall Knight, that somehow, when she let herself remember, he came back as vividly and as strongly as he would if he was there in the first place.

_**Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.  
I'm right there by your side.  
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.  
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.**_

_**I need some shelter, I need some safety.  
Photographs, they haunt me lately.  
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me.  
I'm still searching, but the picture's fading.**_

She needed nothing more than Kendall Knight's warm arms wrapped around her body, holding her in an embrace that was no longer foreign. She needed to feel safe like she had that week with Kendall, which could by far be the best time in her life. She needed that security of knowing when she opened her eyes in the morning, that even if Kendall wasn't staring back at her, he was thinking of her.

_**Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.  
I'm right there by your side.  
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.  
Counting backwards, still counting backwards.**_

_**And no where else has ever felt like home.  
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone.  
I replay your voice, it's like you're here.  
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling.**_

She felt like she was home here in Thief River Falls. Out of all the places she had been in her life, Stella felt like this place had something about it that made her **want** to be here. Whether it was meeting Kendall Knight on the deck of the Tregger's mansion, or kissing him under the stars, there was something alluring about this place. And now, as she made her way back through the streets, and retraced her steps, she didn't know how she could've left here in the first place.

_**Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.  
In my mind, I'm back by your side.  
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.  
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.**_

She looked up at the stars and smiled, closing her eyes and she ceased walking, and stood there in the bitter cold, small puffs of fog coming from between her lips. Her pink lips curled up into a smile as she took a deep breath and her whole body was at peace.

She imagined Kendall Knight by her side.

* * *

Kendall hadn't spoken a word to James, Carlos or Logan since their fight nearly twenty four hours ago. He had ignored all their text messages, phone calls, and even their visit to his house earlier this morning. Kendall had been busy packing anyway.

Kendall slid up his phone in the front seat of the car, and saw that he had one new text message. He sighed, fixing the one headphone in his ear as he opened it.

_**From:**_ Logain

_Kendall, we need to talk man. I'm sorry, really. Please?_

Kendall angrily closed the message out and slid his phone back into his pocket, as Kim redirected her eyes from the road to her son next to her. Katie was thankfully fast asleep in the back seat, using the six hour car ride to and from Thief River Falls as an excuse to take a long, well deserved nap.

"Sweetheart, I know you're angry at Logan for what he said to you, but you shouldn't just ignore him," Kim said softly with a sad expression. Kendall had filled Kim in about what Logan had said to him, what he had overheard in California, and how James and Carlos reacted to everything. After the three boys silently left the Knight house, with nothing as much as a small good-bye, Kim got curious. She immediately went up to Kendall's room where she saw her son in tears, crying about his father, and she instantly held him in her arms until the tears ceased and Kendall began to tell her what had happened.

She had to admit, she had been disappointed in Kendall, and was reconsidering this trip, but seeing Kendall that upset, more so over that fact that his best friends weren't being best friends now, gave Kim more of a push to send him.

"I have every right to ignore him about after what he said about Stella, and after what he said," Kendall said, his voice wavering a bit as he closed his eyes tightly, "about dad." He looked out the window with a sigh at the tree's lining the highway and sighed, wondering just when they were going to get there, when he was going to get to see Stella.

"I understand you are angry, Kendall. But after what you told me about Mr. Mitchell, maybe—maybe Logan _does_ see tension in his family, and knows that it might be true that his father isn't faithful. You know how close Logan is to his father. I'm sure the reason he said that was not to hurt you, but to defend his own family," Kim said, veering off the highway onto that same road they had nearly two months ago. Kendall sighed. Of course his mother made sense, but Kendall didn't want to make sense of anything right now.

"Whatever. I just want to enjoy my vacation," he said with a half smile on his face, watching as the red mini-van got closer and closer to their destination. Kendall looked out the window at all the familiar things that they passed the first time around, wondering where exactly Stella was in this mess of a town.

Nearly fifteen minutes later, the Knight's red mini-van pulled up the familiar circular driveway of the Tregger's, Kendall's eyes immediately going to the window in which he last saw Stella, now covered by a curtain. His eyes looked at the artsy house next to them, and saw that it looked lived in. There were two cars in the driveway, a Mercedes and a BMW, as well as some other noticeable window treatments, and paintjobs to the house. Kendall's heart faltered a bit, but he smiled, knowing the good times he and Stella had in that house.

"We're here," Kim said loudly enough, making Katie's head shoot up in confusion, her brown hair messy and her eyes foggy.

"_Hm_?" she muttered out confusedly, stretching her tiny body in the backseat with a groan. Kendall chuckled and took his headphone out of his ear, wrapping it around his shut off iPod and sighing. The Tregger's house was just as he remembered it. Huge, nearly all glass from the big windows, and absolutely positively gorgeous.

Kim shut the car off, as Kendall and Katie stepped out of the car, Kendall going around back to retrieve his duffle. Kim opened the trunk and went to take the huge bag, but Kendall stopped her with a wide smile, hoisting it over his shoulder with a grunt.

"I got it," he said. Kim smiled at him and closed the trunk, as the three walked up the path to the Tregger's enormous front double door entrance. Footsteps were heard on the wood floors, Kendall, Katie and Kim standing in the cold as platinum haired Dave Tregger opened the door with a thousand watt smile.

"Hey guys," Dave said with a smile. Kim smiled in return, as Dave held the door open for the Knight's, Kendall nearly pushing a sleep ridden Katie through the threshold. Dave gave Kim a polite kiss on the cheek, and extended his hand to Kendall, to which the boy shook firmly. Dave smiled and looked at Kendall with a chuckle as their hands parted.

"Quite a handshake you got there," Dave said with a chuckle, as Kendall looked at his hand in a bit of awe. He had heard that before.

"Well no long time no see!" Jenny Tregger interjected in joy, running towards Kim, Kendall and Katie from the kitchen. Kim dropped Kendall's hockey duffel to the floor, and immediately opened her arms up to her short, blonde best friend as the two women embraced, Kendall and Dave looking on awkwardly, Katie barely standing up, still half asleep from the car ride there.

"I've seen you more the past few months than the last ten years Jenny," Kim spoke into her friend's hair with a chuckle. The two best friends parted, and Jenny turned to Kendall with a large smile on her face. Kendall had to admit, after what he had pulled last time he was here, he was a little unsure about staying at the Tregger's, wondering if he was welcome or not. He barely smiled at Jenny as she took no hesitation in wrapping him a big hug.

"It's so nice to have you staying with us again, Kendall," Jenny said, Kendall smiling at the warmth and good heart of his mother's best friend.

"Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Tregger. I really appreciate it," Kendall spoke as she pulled herself away from him, Jenny rolling her eyes amused at the blonde boy.

"Sweetie, I've told you a _million_ times. You can call me Jenny," she spoke with a smile, her blue eyes shining in the light coming through the big glass windows. Kendall chuckled, sticking his hands deeper in his pockets as he looked around the large house. Now with all the Christmas decorations down, the house looked even bigger and brighter. Kendall couldn't help but direct his eyes to the back hallway, where he could just barely see the light peeking through the doors leading to the deck where he had first met Stella.

"Is Bryan around?" Kendall asked politely.

"He just went to Main Street with Serena to pick up some groceries for dinner. I'm sure he'll be back any moment," Jenny said with a smile on her face. Kendall nodded and shuffled on his feet awkwardly looking around the house. Just seeing the large staircase, the elaborate kitchen and dining room, the huge fireplace and the enormous glass windows was enough to make Kendall's mouth water and eyes shine at the prospect of seeing those fleeting locks of golden blonde hair, the soft pink of her lips, along with the bright blue irises of her eyes.

"Please Kim, you and Katie stay for dinner," Jenny said taking his mother's right hand with a smile as Kim sighed and smiled.

"I would love to Jenny, but Katie is pretty exhausted already, and I need to be home for work tomorrow morning. I don't want to get home too late," Kim said with sad smile. Jenny nodded, understanding as Kim turned to Kendall with a smile, her eyes a bit wary.

"Remember what I told you. You punch anyone in the face again, you're gonna end up in the hospital from me," Kim joked with a stern glare, Kendall's face turning a bit blush.

"I know mom," he mumbled embarrassedly out under his breath, as Dave swept down and hoisted Kendall's bag over his shoulder.

"I'll go put this in your room for you," Dave said, sensing the upcoming mother-son talk he felt rather awkward being present for. Kim and Kendall both smiled and watched Dave as he walked away, Jenny keeping her distance from the mother and son, allowing their secrets to be exchanged as she talked softly with a now more awake Katie.

Kim put a hand on each of Kendall's shoulders, and stared up into his green eyes with a smile. The absolute excitement and anxiousness to see Stella was written all over his face, and Kim saw it in an instant. As much as Kendall hid from her, and as much as he pulled away from her, his mother knew him like the back of her hand.

"And remember why you're up here, okay Kenny?" Kim said with a warning in her blue eyes. Kendall blushed at the use of the nickname, but smiled a bit at his mother's affection, as she grabbed his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. Kendall had dealt with so much disappointment the past year, she didn't want it to happen anymore. It hurt her to see him cry, and it hurt her to see the look on his face the past few months.

"I know, mom. Believe me, I know," Kendall said. Kim smiled at her son once more, looking at how much he was trying to grow up, and be better in attitude, body and spirit.

"And as far as Jenny knows, Kacey is still Kacey," Kim whispered. Kendall smiled a bit relieved at his mother, his eyes shining down at her. He didn't really want anyone else finding out that Stella was indeed a runaway, if she so happened to be up here. Kendall wasn't even sure that he was going to tell Bryan of the whole situation, wondering that if Stella were to return as Kacey, that her secret would be exposed.

Kendall leaned down and gave his mother a kiss on the forehead, letting his lips rest against her warm, smooth skin for a moment, his hand resting at the back of her head, fingers through her auburn hair. In that moment, Kendall's heart beat regularly, his breathing slowed down, and his mind became at peace.

"I love you, mom. And thanks for everything," Kendall whispered out with a smile on his face. Kim smiled and chuckled at her son's tender nature, and took in the moment. Kendall had been pushing away from her for **so **long, and now, finally, even though he was anything from fully back to his old self, he was getting there. Kim had **prayed** for moments where Kendall would do so much as to just utter a word to her after Kris died, and now, here he was thanking her, and kissing her forehead like she was swept down from heaven.

"No problem, baby."

* * *

Kendall began to make himself comfortable in his room, the same one he, Katie and his mother had stayed in just a few weeks ago. Katie was with him, helping him take his clothes out of his duffle and put them into the drawers for his stay. She picked up what she thought to be a dark blue shirt, but soon realized that she was holding a pair of Kendall's boxers. Her face twisted up in surprise and she let out a small scream, throwing them across the room as Kendall turned around and looked at her with a confused, surprised expression.

"What the heck was that about?" he exclaimed, settling a shirt down into the drawer, Katie shuddered and pointed across the room to where Kendall's blue boxers hung on the burnt orange count he had spent so many nights on. Kendall rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Katie, it's just underwear, it's _not_ going to kill you."

"I don't care! It's _your_ underwear!" Katie said out of breath, as if Kendall's boxers had been the scariest thing she had ever seen. Kendall chuckled and walked over to his duffle bag, dipped his hand in and pulled out a red and white plaid pair, and launched it at his little sister with a conniving laugh.

"KENDALL!" Katie screamed in annoyance, but with slight laughter in her voice, as she dodged the underwear successfully. He took out another pair and threw it at her, moving closer to her as the two siblings began an all out war full of laughter. Katie ran around the couch to which Kendall followed, picking up the first blue pair hanging off it and sling shotting it to her, as she began to lose her breath running around. Kendall laughed hysterically, jumping over the couch with a grunt and grabbing Katie by her tiny waist, as she cackled.

"Kendall, put me down!" she giggled as he swooped her up, and carried her bridal style over to the bed, Katie kicking in a fit.

Both siblings were reveling in laughter and joy, when Kendall's text message ringtone went off, filling the huge room with the music of Kendall's favorite band. Katie fidgeted of out his grasp, still out of breath from running and laughing as he went over to his phone, and looked at who the message was from, opening it. Katie lay down on the bed, pushing Kendall's bag aside as he read the text message.

_**From:**_ Logain

_You were right._

Katie, who was still giggling from her and Kendall's fight sat up on the bed, and watched how her brother's face changed upon reading the text message. Cocking her eyebrow confused, she looked at him, hopping off the plush comforter and coming next to him suspiciously.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, standing on her tippy toes to see the message. Katie scrunched her nose when she saw that it was from Logan. She briefly knew that Kendall had a fight with the boys, but had no idea how bad it was, or even what it was about. "What were you right about?" she asked.

Kendall swallowed hard, looking at the phone, wanting to text back Logan. As he began to dive into a new message, his hands shaking, he stopped and closed his eyes. All the horrible things Logan said flooded back into his brain. How he called him stupid, and lovesick, and what Logan had said about his father. Kendall's hand began to shake in a bit of anger, looking at the cursor of his phone blinking before him, before he slid it down and shoved it in his pocket with wide, afraid eyes.

"Nothing," Kendall said gruffly, his mood immediately changing from lighthearted to serious. Katie saw it and frowned as her brother returned to putting his clothes in the drawer, a bit more angrily than before. Katie may have only been ten, but she noticed the change in atmosphere once Kendall read that text, and could sense the guilt that Kendall felt for not responding radiating from his body. She swallowed hard and went to Kendall's bag, making sure not to pull out anymore underwear, and felt a piece of paper under her fingers. Confused, she took out the crumpled sheet of loose leaf and opened it, Kendall's head whipping around at the sound. Katie read the paper to herself quietly as Kendall ran over to her, and plucked it out of her hands.

"Katie, don't go through my stuff," Kendall spoke upset, making sure the paper wasn't ripped or torn, it holding the words he had so desperately wrote. Katie looked up at him curiously.

"What was that?" she asked. Kendall furrowed his brows at her upset and shook his head.

"None of your business," he spoke harshly, returning to the dresser, taking the rest of his jeans and putting them in the top drawer. Katie looked down a bit saddened that Kendall wouldn't share what was on the paper with her. The two had been so incredibly close before their father died, and the past year Kendall had been a wreck. Katie wanted nothing more than her old brother back.

"W-was it a song?" she asked curiously. Kendall stopped his movements, his back to Katie, and said nothing, closing his eyes, the piece of paper in his hand. "Cause if it was, I-I thought it was really nice. Well…what I read anyway," she said shyly. Kendall swallowed hard, and looked at the piece of paper in his hand, the soft crinkles in it not enough to smudge the pen of his words. Kendall turned around to his little sister who sat there innocently, and bit his lower lip.

"Really? You liked it?" he asked surprised. Katie nodded and shrugged.

"I only saw the first line or two, but it seemed really pretty," she said softly. She looked up at Kendall with a small smile. "Did you write it for Kacey?" Kendall looked at her with wide eyes. He didn't know how she knew that, because he knew his mother hadn't disclosed his love affair to anyone. But then again, he wasn't surprised. It was Katie, the slyest girl he had ever known, besides his mother of course.

"Yeah. I did," Kendall said with a small smile, walking towards her, and pushing his bag to sit near her. He sat down with a sigh and Katie smiled. She had never really seen her brother so crazy over a girl. Of course she had remembered Kendall's first date a few years ago, when her mother had taken pictures of the boy until he was blue, well rather red, in the face.

"You know, when she was here for dinner Kendall, you reminded me so much of Daddy," Katie said with a small smile, looking down at her feet. Kendall smiled widely and looked at his sister prideful with a smile.

"Really?" he asked her with surprise, allowing the open paper to be at his hands, allowing Katie to see all of it if she really wanted to. Katie looked up at her brother's green eyes, which always reminded of her father. She could see the small excitement in them, little flecks of gold jumping up, along with the curl of his lips into a smile. "How?"  
Katie smiled at him and shrugged, trying to fight off her emotions.

"The way you looked at her…was the way that Daddy used to look at Mom," Katie spoke softly with a small hint of sadness in her voice. Kendall's smile became infectious as he slung an arm around Katie, and pulled her into him to cuddle. Katie loved the smell of her brother's natural delicious scent, which immediately gave her security and stability. Kendall didn't know what came over him, but the joy that Katie had made go through him in that moment was amazing. Kendall's little sister _never_ ceased to amaze him.

"Want me to sing my song for you, Baby Sister?" Kendall spoke with confidence and pride. Katie looked up at him with big wide eyes, and smiled knowingly to Kendall's surprise.

"I was wondering when you were going to use that voice."

* * *

Stella had figured she was fired from the General Store since she had stolen a few items before her abrupt departure, to which she didn't think twice of. She had taken some granola bars, water bottles, and a few other necessities to bear the cold, harsh Minnesota winter. Therefore, she had no intention of returning back to the General Store, but knew that if any of those customers recognized her on the street, if she happen to run into them, she must keep her persona of Kacey Roberts. Stella sighed at the confusion her already off-track life had amounted to the past few days, as she curled up with Kendall's blue cardigan at her face on a bench near a small park on Faye Avenue.

She had wandered the town aimlessly since eleven last night, and it was nearly already half past seven at night here. She had made her way back "home" to the Tregger's, seeing that the forest behind the place she used to call home had been shamelessly torn down, her cabin, which still held some items from her and Kendall's tryst half destroyed in the middle of brown tree stumps.

She sat on the bench, huddled to herself in the cold, with a smile on her face. She knew that in her heart, Kendall was the only way to go. No matter how she was living her life, no matter how she was trying to push him away, Kendall Knight was imprinted in her head permanently, and he wasn't going anywhere.

She closed her eyes, and took in the scent of his cardigan, never surprised at how it smelt just like him even after so many days. She rubbed it against her fair cheek, and took in the feeling of the texture on her skin, reminding her of the last time she and Kendall had made love the day before he left. She remembered the way he had tried to prolong the act, and how after they had pleased each other, Stella fully broke down in front of him, crying into his soft blonde hair.

Stella found that every time she thought of him, she would be brought back to a specific moment in time they spent together, and it would be so vivid, it would be as if she was actually there with Kendall Knight in that moment. Her heart would race, her eyes would shine, and she'd lick her lips just thinking of what it would be like to have him hold her, and kiss her hair, and tell her he loved her. It was weird, as just weeks ago, Stella denied all the love that Kendall was offering her right to his face. She had told him he was a mistake, and that he was nothing more than just a visitor to her runaway persona. She couldn't have been more wrong.

Stella had meant what she said in the cabin that night. She loved Kendall Knight.

As she sat on the bench, her hands between her legs, trying to get warm, she thought about what Kendall was doing at this moment. She looked up into the sky and smiled, the stars reflecting back into her eyes. She wanted to be connected to him, and wished that she could somehow summon him to look up at the sky, so they could be connected through the shiny stars that stood bright against the black sheer draping over all of Minnesota's sky.

Stella guessed that Kendall was home, either playing guitar or writing music. Or he was with his three best friends he sometimes had mentioned, although Stella wasn't too sure of their names at the moment. Either that or he was out on the ice pond by his house that he had told her about, skating around with his new stick in his hand, effortlessly and gracefully gliding like he was born into the game. Whatever he was doing, Stella hoped that he was happy, and that he was thinking of her.

As she looked at a few cars pass on the road, the sky getting darker and darker, more and more people retreating into their homes for the night, she looked to her left and saw a large pond frozen over, maybe about a hundred feet away or so. Stella chuckled, the second her eyes scanned the glossy ice, her mind instantly went to Kendall, as it did when she looked at most things. Gripping the cardigan in her hand, she got up and walked over the icy glass and asphalt over to the pond, a smile on her face the entire time.

She sighed at the beautiful, glassy pond, and how beautiful it looked under the darkening sky, and the brightening stars. Seeing nothing better to do, nowhere else to go, Stella sat down by the edge of the pond, with Kendall's cardigan around her shoulders, looking at a pair of old, tattered hockey skates that had been abandoned beside her.

* * *

"So, have you talked to Kacey at all since you left?" Bryan asked Kendall, as the two walked through the snow and ice on their way back from the pond. Kendall had his duffle over his shoulder with his stick in his hand, Bryan carrying the same with his skates around his neck as the two boys made light conversation.

The second Bryan had walked in the door, the two eagerly went to the pond, not wanting to waste any time they had before the sun truly set on useless conversation, when it could be spent playing hockey. The two had a one-on-one training session, where they two boys caught up with each other about school, friends, and of course Kendall's experience at the Wild game in California.

"Uh, a bit," Kendall said awkwardly with a smile, scratching the back of his neck as they trudged up a steep hill, the crunching of snow and ice beneath both their boots. Bryan chuckled and hit Kendall's shoulder playfully.

"Dude, just a bit? Come on. I mean, you lost your virginity to the girl," Bryan said laughing in a light tone. Kendall expected a joking about this, seeing as how Bryan had no idea of the monumentality of Stella and Kendall's relationship. No one seemed to understand, except his mother, somewhat.

"I don't know…could we not talk about it?" Kendall asked uneasily, praying that Bryan would just stop talking about it, seeing as he wasn't getting Kendall's hints. It's not like Kendall didn't want to talk about Stella, it was just that when he talked about her as Kacey, he felt like he wasn't being true to their "relationship".

"Oh. I-I'm sorry," Bryan said awkwardly, biting the inside of his cheek as the next few steps were taken in silence. Bryan sighed as he stopped for a minute, Kendall not realizing about his counterpart's halt.

"Shit, these skates are giving my neck rug burn," Bryan said, as he eased his skates off his neck, bit his glove off his hand with his teeth and brought it to the tender red marks on his neck, wincing in pain from the laces. Kendall gave Bryan an odd look, as he dropped his duffle and brought his own hands to his neck, feeling that his skates weren't there.

"Fuck," he mumbled, as he instantly went to his duffle in the darkness, and ruffled through it, feeling for the sharp blades of his skates.

"What's wrong man?" Bryan asked confused, as Kendall frantically ripped out his practice jersey, his gloves, his hat, and a few pucks before sighing in frustration.

"I think I left my skates at the pond," he said annoyed, hanging his head in aggravation, his hand balled up into a fist. Bryan sighed and looked back towards the direction of the pond, and then back down at Kendall with an easy going smile.

"Its okay man, we can go back," Bryan said with no worry. Kendall looked up at him miserably, going from kneeling to standing as he sighed, and brought his hand to his head.

"I'm sorry," he spoke nervously, seeing as that it was getting darker by the second, knowing that Jenny didn't like Bryan out when it was dark since the pond was a bit desolate from the rest of town. Bryan chuckled and grasped Kendall's shoulder with bright blue eyes, his platinum blonde hair peeking out from under his wool knit cap.

"Kendall, really. It's not a big deal. The pond is like…ten minutes away from the house. We're not even halfway home yet," Bryan reiterated. Kendall nodded, picking up his duffle again as the two boys began to more hurriedly work their way back to the pond, step by step as the ice crunched under them.

Not even five minutes later could they see the pond in the near distance, the stars in the sky illuminating the ice, where Kendall could barely make out someone skating around aimlessly. Bryan looked a bit confused as the two boys neared closer, knowing that they had been the only ones here the entire time, except for a group of thirteen year olds.

"That's weird. No one is ever usually out here past dark," Bryan spoke out, each step the pond and the figure getting closer in sight. Kendall furrowed his eyebrows, now remembering that he left his skates on the side of the pond near a rock, seeing a large canvas bag next to it in place of his skates.

"This dude stole my skates, Bryan. I left them right here," Kendall said angrily, as they neared closer to the skating figure. Suddenly, as if someone had poked a hole in the black drapery of the sky, the stars seemed to get ten times brighter, as Kendall reached the side of the pond, Bryan staying back a bit and letting the boy step forward, but not before warning him to be careful.

"Hey, you wanna give me my skates back?" Kendall said angrily, as the beautiful, blonde haired girl stopped dead in her tracks, her back towards the two boys. She knew that voice, and she had thought she was imagining it. She stayed still on the skates for a few moments, her mind a blank for anything except the words that came from Kendall's mouth. "I'm talking to you," Kendall spoke to the person, who was wearing a dark black cardigan. Stella did not move, her breaths heavy, as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. No. This wasn't happening. Kendall Knight was not here. Her mind was playing tricks on her again.

Kendall, having enough anger already, decided to forgo skates and walked out onto the ice carefully, knowing just how to balance himself so he wouldn't slip. As he got closer, the figure seemed to turn into a woman, with long blonde hair. Kendall thought his mind was playing tricks on him, as he neared even closer, and recognized the dark blue cardigan that was slipped around her shoulders. His entire body went white with intensity, his vision a bit blurred, and his sense of where he was indefinitely warped.

"Those are my skates," Kendall said wearily, his voice breaking off as he neared closer to the girl, until he was only a few inches from her, being able to feel his presence. Kendall closed his eyes breathing heavily, as Stella still remained frozen, her back still towards him. Without any doubt in his mind, Kendall's hands slowly maneuvered around Stella's waist, the heat from her body pleasurably pricking his fingertips, his shaking arms caught in her embrace.

"Stella," Kendall spoke softly, his heart nearly beating out of his chest, his voice shaky in the cold air. It was if his entire body went into overdrive, as his hands fell around her skinny waist, and her warm hands touched his, that a spark went off in his head. Here it was again. That feeling that nothing in the world could touch either of them. It was the same feeling Kendall got the moment he saw Stella for the first time, the moment he was hooked on everything about her.

"Kendall Knight," Stella barely whispered, small puffs of fog exuding from her lips, her body melting into his.

Stella shakily turned around, facing Kendall as her entire face lit up the second she saw him. Tears streamed down her cheeks, as she shyly hugged the blue cardigan to her frame, her pink lips turned up into a small, amazed smile. Her heart beat ferociously, and her mind flew as Kendall's hands squeezed her hips gently, making sure she was really in front of him. His own eyes scanned her beautiful face, and tears nearly came to them as he touched her soft, white skin, not believing that this was actually happening. She was here. She was really here.

"You don't know happy I am to see you," Kendall spoke waveringly with a large smile, his voice weak, as she gripped her closer, his breaths getting caught in his throat.

Stella's entire face twisted up in raw joy, as Kendall shakily took his hand to her cheek, and wiped her tears away, feeling her hot, smooth skin under his finger as an instant knee weakener. Stella swallowed hard, closing her blue eyes at Kendall's touch, her entire body shaking as if she was going through some transformation. The two totally ignored the loud sounds of cars passing them, Bryan Tregger's presence, and the cold, bitter air that hung around them. Kendall looked down, but instantly looked at her again, not wanting to take his eyes off her, as he pulled her closer to him, her hands touching his body as if he was warm water on a cold day.

"You—you never got my letter," Kendall spoke out sadly, a smile still peeking in through his face, awe still set at the bottom of his green eyes. "I waited everyday to get one back from you, and—now, it doesn't even matter cause I'm here, and you're here," he said softly. He touched her face again and let out a small chuckle, biting his bottom lip, his fingers tracing along the contours of her delicate cheekbone. "I can't believe we're here," he whispered out with a smile. "Together."

"I know," she barely spoke. "And I'm sorry. Just…just tell me that you love me, Kendall Knight," Stella said in desperation, closing her eyes and letting her warm tears fall down her flushed face.

She shook her head in the quiet night, feeling his strong hands wrapped around her torso. She had wished for this for so long, and now here it was, miraculously right in front of her, beyond some larger force that had brought them together. This wasn't chance, and both Stella and Kendall knew it looking into each other's eyes, taking in the sight of each other in absolute amazement.

"I need it _so_ much, I need you," Stella began to cry out, the sadness in her voice an immediate red flag to Kendall, as he gripped her closer, allowing his chin to rest on her head, her shaky breaths tickling the skin on his neck that he was just dying to have kissed.

"I love you, Stella. Everyone doubted me, but I love you so much," Kendall whispered into her hair, as he rubbed her back soothingly, not being able to truly fathom what was going on. He parted from her, and looked down at her face, gently bringing his lips to her rouged cheeks, and kissing the trails of her wet tears to her chin. She smiled in joy, her hands grasping his forearms tightly, with each graze of his soft, moist lips on her skin, her heart jumped back into place.

Kendall, not parting his lips from her face, tipped her chin up with one hand as they searched in each other's eyes for something to tell them that they weren't crazy. Stella saw nothing in Kendall's green eyes, and Kendall found nothing in her blue ones. Seeing as their searches were over, with a shaky deep breath and a smile, he slowly brought his lips down to hers. Stopping just before her lips, Stella immediately closed the gap, as the familiar, wonderful, enthralling taste of Kendall flooded her mouth with surprise and satisfaction. She immediately parted her lips, allowing him to resume his passionate tryst with her, his hands squeezing her tight, Stella smiling, tears falling down from her eyes as small smacking sounds from their kiss seemed to echo worldwide. Not being able to hold in the tears of joy she felt, and the sense of security she needed in Kendall, Stella parted the kiss crying, both lover's lips feeling instantly cold from the previous moistness and warmth, as Kendall held her to his rapidly beating heart, his atmosphere engulfed in happiness.

"I fuckin' missed you."


	19. Doubts

**A/N: I told you guys you'd be in for a treat this week, and I was write. A very smutty love scene (you are all warned ;D), along with a GREAT, AWESOME ending ;D And nearly a 10,000 word chapter. I hope you all enjoy, and please review!**

**I wanna give a special thanks to my NEW reviewers :) I hope you guys all keep reading and reviewing! It makes me SO very happy!**

**And of course, here it is, a snippet from ****Past The Sorrow**** an AMAZING story by my best fanfic friend waterwicca:**

"Stay here. I'm going to get you some ice," he kissed her one last time, pausing in the doorway to take in the sight of her before he left as if he thought she would disappear the second he was gone. He thought the separation was bad before, but it was a million times worse now that he had something to actually worry about.

Kendall ran downstairs as quietly as he could, grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, and then hurried back up to happily see Sage right where he had left her. He approached with the ice and gave her a 'hello' kiss. Kendall lifted the hem of her shirt, with Sage's assistance, and held it up with one hand and pressed the ice against her skin with the other.

"Here…" Sage spoke softly and pulled away to lift the torn shirt fully over her head and threw it onto the floor.

Kendall forced himself not to stare at her for too long. She wore a black bra that complimented the bruising on her skin. In the bright lighting, he could see several small scars along different parts of her arms and torso. He knew that they were most likely caused by Elliot, but even with all of the evidence of abuse marring her skin, she was still the most perfect, beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"I bet this isn't how you imagined the first time seeing me topless," Sage joked half heartedly with a sly smile.

"Shut up…" Kendall murmured with a grin as he used his free hand to hold one of hers. "You do look pretty hot though…" he added with a confident smirk.

"Take yours off… Fair is fair…" she smiled playfully and wrapped her fingers in the fabric of his shirt before lifting it over his head. Now they stood equal, just the way they preferred it. Sage's eyes shamelessly took in the sight of his defined muscles.

"You're staring," Kendall teased with a playful poke to the side of her torso that wasn't injured.

"So are you," she insisted with a light laugh. He chuckled back and stepped forward to stand between her legs. He embraced her delicately as she placed a soft kiss to his heart.

The pair were always intimate like this, but it was the first time with the lesser amount of clothing. Sexual tension constantly flowed between them, but they never felt pressured to do anything. They knew it would happen when the time was right. For now, they would just enjoy their quiet moment together.

"Now everything is starting to make sense."

**Yup. I know you want to read it, so go do it! :D And remember to read and review!**

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* * *

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_Chapter Nineteen: Doubts_

After their meeting at the pond, Kendall had no choice but to confide in Bryan Tregger his secret about Stella. At this point, Kendall didn't really care, seeing as the fact that his mother was proved wrong, and Stella was up here floating around in his mind, soaking up every last ounce of his thoughts,

"What do you mean?"

"Remember at breakfast the first morning you were here, you asked me if I knew a Stella who lived next door? And the way she kissed you at the General Store?"

"Oh, yeah."

Kendall and Bryan Tregger sat on the burnt orange couch in Kendall's room at midnight that night, Kendall letting all the skeletons out of his closet with a smile. If his best friends at home didn't believe in him at all, maybe Bryan would. At least Bryan Tregger had a girlfriend whom he **loved** unlike Logan, Carlos and James who didn't know the first thing about love. Kendall _needed_ someone to tell about all of this. The fact that he and Stella were back together in the same place was a dream, and he still couldn't believe it was happening. It racked his brain, and made him feel like anything was possible.

"So, you're gonna see her tomorrow?" Bryan asked, the two watching some stupid MTV show neither was really paying attention to. Kendall nodded, and fixed himself on the couch to his own comfort with a smile on a face as he chuckled.

"I can't wait," he said smiling widely. Bryan chuckled and sat back on the couch, with a deep sigh.

"She really is a beautiful girl, Kendall," Bryan said his eyes going wide as he stumbled over his words. "I-I mean for **you**, I have a girlfriend," he said awkwardly, knowing how possessive and protective Kendall was over Stella firsthand.

"She is. It hurt to leave her tonight," Kendall spoke softly, his green eyes weighted with a bit of sadness. Jenny wanted them home for dinner, especially since it was a dinner in Kendall's honor of staying the week. Kendall had begged Stella to come with them, seeing as she looked like she hadn't eaten in days, and he never wanted her out of his sight again. However, she politely declined him, but telling him tomorrow at noon, she would be on Main Street, and that they could spend the day together. Taking anytime he could get with her, Kendall agreed with a soft, passionate kiss on the lips, she tore herself away from him, escaping into the night, lying to him and telling her she had shelter when she really didn't. Truthfully, Kendall hadn't stopped thinking of her for a second since they had parted hand, lips and eyes. The second she had left his sight, his heart sunk and immediately ceased its rapid fire beat, as if it was the last time he would ever see her again.

"Well, you'll see her tomorrow, dude. I'll tell my mom we're going out to Main Street, and playing hockey and shit like that. You go with Stella, and I'll go with Lisa," Bryan said with a smile, an agreement being made between the two boys.

"Thanks man, I appreciate it," Kendall said with a smile. Bryan nodded, and the two boys began to turn their attention to the TV. Kendall's hand lay in his pocket, fidgeting with his cell phone, his mind going from Stella to Logan. Kendall bit his lower lip and wondered how things were going at the Mitchell house. He imagined that everything was going fine, and that Logan was okay, but in his heart he knew there was **no way** that was possible.

He felt bad about not responding to Logan's message, especially since he was supposed to be there for his best friends. Kendall had _always_ been there for his brothers, just like they had _always _been there for him, well, except this time. He had gotten a few texts from Carlos and James this morning about how sorry they were, and that they wanted to text. But during dinner, he had gotten a few angry texts like "you're a jerk" and "Logan needs you". As much as Kendall _really_ wanted to answer them, he couldn't help but feel so hurt, and destroyed by his brother's words. Not only was he the closest to Kendall in the group, Logan was the only one who had seen Kendall at his _absolute_ lowest when his father passed away.

_Logan walked into Kendall's room, not knowing what to expect. Kelly Mitchell had gotten a tearful, heartbreaking phone call from Kim, asking even though it was eleven on a school night, if Logan could come over and talk to a destructive, depressed Kendall. It had been only two weeks since his father's death, and Kendall was more than devastated. Katie was afraid to come near him, Kim was afraid to come near him, heck, Logan was a bit worried what resided behind the door._

_He poked his head in the dark room, and saw Kendall huddled up on his bed, leaning back against the pillows in the darkness, his eyes staring blankly ahead of him. Just by the light from the moon and stars on this brisk Minnesota night, Logan could see half of Kendall's wrecked face. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, hair mussed, dried tears were down his cheeks, and his face looked aggravated as could be. _

"_K-kendall?" Logan stuttered out nervously, walking more into the room. Kendall looked at Logan with fierce, dark green eyes, and then back straight ahead where his eyes lay before. Logan closed the door behind him, taking more steps onto the white carpet of the room. Logan felt as if he were in some horror movie and some killer clown was going to pop up any second and take his life._

"_Logan, help me," Kendall said stoically, biting his lip in heartache, his voice cracking a bit. Just the tone of Kendall's voice was enough for Logan's heart to drop to the depths of his body._

"_What's wrong, bud?" Logan asked lightly, desperately trying to create some sort of easiness between the two. He approached the bed with a thin lipped expression looking at his broken best friend. Kendall shook his head, tears falling down his cheeks his voice weak and defeated._

"_I wanted to kill myself today. I actually…I actually thought about it," Kendall spoke with a twisted face, hanging his head in shame, beginning to cry all over again. His back started to rise and fall with quiet muffled sobs. Logan's heart started beating faster and faster hearing the words come out of Kendall's mouth. Kendall was the strongest out of all four of them, and not even Logan had ever had serious suicidal thoughts. It made Logan afraid to talk to Kendall in that moment, thinking he could set him off or something like that. _

"_S-suicide? Really, Kendall?" Logan asked afraid, sitting down on the bed next to his friend. Kendall swallowed hard, and brought his face back up to stare blankly ahead nodding._

"_Yes. Really. I thought about…taking a lot of pills. I-I head a headache, and I went to take some aspirin, and I looked at the pills in my hand…and I just..I-I got these thoughts in my head," Kendall said closing his eyes tightly, as Logan rested his hand on his best friend's forearm. "I could be back with my dad again, and—I wouldn't have to hurt anymore. I can't take anymore hurt Logan, I can't do it," he cried out. "Everyone is scared of me." Logan looked at Kendall, who looked at him in the eyes, brown meeting green in a stare of intensity and helplessness. "I'm scared of me."_

_Logan had no idea what to say to his fallen friend, squeezing his arm tightly. "You have so much to live for Kendall. Your mom, Katie, me, Carlos, James, and everyone else who loves you," Logan spoke softly with a sad demeanor. "If something were ever to happen to you, everyone would be affected." Kendall looked at Logan and scoffed a bit, thinning his lips out and blinking out some more tears._

"_I hurt __**so**__ bad, Logan. I __**can't**__ do this, I'm not strong enough. I'm-I'm not as strong without him, he is what made me strong in the first place. I can't hurt anymore," Kendall cried out helplessly, as Logan looked him in the eye with a stern, confident expression._

"_Kendall Knight, you are the strongest person I know. And if you think that taking yourself off this Earth is going to help anyone, then you are just being stupid. You think you hurt bad now? Imagine what'd it would be like looking down from Heaven, seeing us, your mom and Katie, and everyone else who knows you hurting like __**you**__ hurt now," Logan asked him with a bit of waver in his voice. Logan swallowed hard and Kendall looked at him with a confused, upset expression, furrowing his brows together. "We need you here, man.__** I**__ need you here."_

_Kendall looked at Logan and smiled a bit, tears falling down his face as he pulled his best friend into a tight hug, something the boys didn't do very often. "I just wanna be okay again," Kendall whispered into Logan's ear, as the last of his warm tears fell down his face._

"_I know, Kendall. It just takes time. Everything takes time," Logan whispered into his ear, as he looked out the window towards the moon and stars, squeezing his best friend a bit tighter._

Kendall swallowed hard at the memory, and thought back at how it was nearly a year ago that Logan had caught him with those horrible, scary thoughts in his head. It had been nearly a year since his father had died. As if it hit him as a flash of lightning, he instantly became depressed, his entire body sinking down, not realizing where he was for a few seconds, his hands getting clammy and uncomfortable. He remained nearly lifeless for a few seconds, as Bryan looked over at him with a chuckle.

"Dude? You okay?" Bryan asked with a raised eyebrow. Kendall looked back at him with sadness skewed all over his face as he shook his head yes, trying his best to think of Stella and how he was going to get to see her tomorrow. It was the only thing that was going to get him through this. Kendall's brain was split in thirds at the moment. One third Stella, one third his father, and one third Logan.

At this moment, Kendall couldn't decide which was most important.

* * *

"A…date? What do you mean by a date?"

Kendall held his beautiful angel in his arms walking down Main Street, with a smirk on his face. He turned to look at her, holding her warm body closer to him and smiling like the happiest idiot in all of Thief River Falls. His arm was slung around her neck, her blonde hair framing her face beautifully and a small embarrassed smile on her lips. Kendall chuckled, proudly striding down the asphalt with Stella by his side.

"I'm taking you out, love. On a date," Kendall said with a chuckle, confidently using the nickname for his girlfriend he had been planning out since the second he had left her. He didn't want to call her "baby," feeling that was too impersonal and objectifying, and he didn't want to use sweetheart, seeing as Stella was **more** than a sweetheart to him. Stella's face instantly lit up at the reciprocation of the name and her face turned a bit red, not being used to it.

"I've…never been on a date," Stella said almost embarrassed as Kendall looked at how her entire face seemed to be twisted into excitement, and disappointment of herself. He chuckled and held her closer to him, as her arms slung around his thin waist, nestling herself into his neck as they walked through the crowded sidewalk.

"There is a first time for everything," Kendall spoke out, as he stopped in front of the restaurant that Stella had come into on New Year's Eve. Kendall looked down at her, pushing the hair from her face and kissing her lips softly, immediately smiling into them when they parted. He opened the door for her, motioning her forward as she thanked him with a smile, walking into the bar, everything about New Year's rushing back to her. There were people crowding the bar of course, but not anything like New Years. There were different sports games, and news channels on the televisions, and people were more dispersed sitting at tables and on barstools, rather than at the center of the floor having a rowdy party. Stella took a deep breath as the same hostess came up to her and politely led her and Kendall to their table. Halfway through their descent to the back, Kendall's fingers found Stella's, and he tightly grabbed her hand, giving it a warm squeeze as they made their way to the small little table in the corner, a small candle in the center that was lit, giving a touch of romance to the night.

Kendall went to Stella's chair, and pulled it out for her smiling. "For you, my dear." Stella smiled at him widely and took her seat shyly, tucking her chair in as Kendall sat across from her.

"So, is this what normal people do on dates?" Stella asked curiously, picking up the all too familiar menu and flipping it open.

"No, this is what **I **do on dates," Kendall spoke out with a smile. "And I'm nowhere _near _normal." Stella looked up at him and laughed, getting caught in his green eyes, and absolutely adorable dimples. Kendall looked genuinely happy, and she knew he was from the way his mouth turned vertical at the corners, and how the inside corners of his eyes were wide open. Stella closed her eyes and took this all in for a minute. She was here, on a date. She didn't end up here so she could shelter from the cold, or because she was so hungry her head had began to spin, but because her boyfriend had decided to take her to dinner. It made her smile and

It made her feel normal.

Kendall, figuring out what he wanted, immediately put his menu down and grabbed Stella's hand from across the table, interlacing their fingers in wonder and comfort. Stella sighed at the contact, as Kendall's thumb ran across the back of her hand easily; stroking the white skin like it was the finest velvet of a king's crown. Stella looked at him a bit confused, and then down at her hand, eyebrow arched at him.

"Why are you holding my hand?" she asked giggling, trying her best to fish for compliments from Kendall, knowing he was going to be chock full of 'em. Kendall looked in her eyes and swallowed hard, his heart racing inside his chest. He was surprised Stella couldn't hear it, as he sighed deeply, his voice wavering a bit from the sincerity of his statement.

"B-because I don't wanna let go again," Kendall spoke from the heart, smiling through his nervousness like any good gentlemen would.

Stella looked at him in awe, her heart breaking into a million tiny pieces from beautiful shock and magical awe, and quickly melding together again with a smile and gentle kiss on the hand from him.

She couldn't believe Kendall Knight actually** loved** her.

She couldn't believe **she** actually loved Kendall Knight.

Stella put her menu down and smiled at her boyfriend with bright blue eyes, feeling the absolutely amazing connection between their hands. As much as kissing, and all the other fun stuff was pleasurable, Stella felt that nothing really beat holding Kendall's hand. It made her feel so connected to him, in a way that she never had felt before meeting him just two months ago.

"You're too sweet, Kendall Knight. Are you sure you don't have another Minnesota girlfriend back home?" Stella asked. Kendall looked at her and sighed deeply, with a small smile on his face, biting his lips. He looked down and chuckled a bit, deciding to really show Stella just how much she meant to him. He had been debating telling her this if he planned on seeing her, but he felt it honest and appropriate.

"I asked a girl out on a date before Christmastime, and after I came back from here, she mentioned it, and we went out to the movies," Kendall said softly. Stella's heart dropped a bit into the pits of her stomach. She hadn't expected her question to actually be truthful. She was just trying her own hand of flirting which obviously wasn't working in her favor. Her hand tensed a bit, and Kendall immediately sensed it with a closed lipped smile on his face, stroking the skin easily again. "We went to the movies, and we didn't talk, or touch, and when I dropped her off, I told her it would never work, because I was in love with someone else, Stella," he spoke softly. "I couldn't even concentrate on her while thinking of you."

He chuckled and looked in her eyes like she was the only thing he could see, ignoring every other sound around him except the musicality of her breathing, and how her chest rose and fell slightly with each breath. He saw how the blue in her eyes returned from a dull blue to a bright shining blue, and that the shadows on her face turned from those of frown to smile.

"You have **no** idea what you do to me, love," he whispered out with a sly smile and chuckle, bringing her hand up so her arm rested on her elbow on the table, threading his fingers through hers. He kissed the back of her hand again and stared at her for a few seconds, and then immediately looked down at his menu, trying to decide what to get.

Stella was in complete and utter awe.

"Why me, Kendall Knight? Why do I get to love you, and nobody else does?" Stella spoke out in amazement, wanting to know the answer. Kendall looked at her and shrugged with a smile.

"We met on the deck for a reason, Stella. And that's the only explanation I'll ever need for you and me," he said with a smile, holding her hand tightly. Stella smiled at her boyfriend brightly, biting her lower lip in sheer happiness.

She had never in her wildest dreams imagined someone like Kendall Knight coming into her life, but Stella couldn't object anymore.

* * *

Kendall and Stella's hands were tightly interlaced with one another as they walked through the small, suburban streets of Thief River Falls. The street lights had begun to turn on as the sun set behind the large mountains, Kendall and Stella insignificantly walking down the street giggling and talking like any other ordinary teenage couple would on a wintry snow day when school was closed.

"It's so weird how we both came back here on the same day," Kendall spoke suspiciously, in a small voice. Stella had told him of her excursions to Cumberland, of course leaving out Cooper, and how she had wandered to pond for some strange reason she couldn't explain. She also had never fully explained to Kendall why she left, and she didn't think he needed to know. She loved him now, with no doubts, and that's all he needed to know.

"Not weird. Just right," Stella said confidently changing the subject, as their hands swung flirtily in time with their steps. They looked to their rights and lefts, seeing all the lights inside the houses click on as the sun disappeared more and more from the sky, the stars coming out to play in the chilly night. Stella hugged her sweater to her frame, and Kendall squeezed her hand as they made their way down the block in silence, just enjoying each other's presence in the nice wintry dusk.

"Wow, that house looks old," Kendall said, motioning his chin to a once beautiful colonial house just a few feet away on the right side of the street, tucked behind some barren trees. It had stark white, dirty siding, beautiful, glassy windows that were boarded up and a few other dents and scratches on it. There was a dusty, broken _For Sale_ sign on the lawn which hadn't looked taken care of in ages, some patches of brown grass peeking up from the previous white snow that had fallen.

"It's still really nice," Stella said with admiration. She turned back to Kendall with a knowing smirk. "Don't judge a book by its cover, Kendall Knight." Kendall looked at her with an arched eyebrow and smile, and then back at the house with his signature Knight grin. His eyes connected with Stella's and she affirmed his suspicion, as the two looked around, and began to descent towards the old house giddily. The path leading up to it was asphalt, and still a little icy.

"Watch your step, love," Kendall spoke out gently, leading the way, holding Stella's hand close behind him as they walked forward.

Luckily for them it wasn't locked, so Kendall opened the large powder blue door, Stella trailing behind him with their hands connected. It was a bit dusty inside, looking like no one had really showed it, or entered it, in months. There was a small living room set up with a couch, coffee table and fire place, all sitting atop a big, floral area rug. In the back was a kitchen, and to the left was a dining room. Right in front of the door as you walked in were wooden stairs with a thick layer of dust on them, leading up into darkness of a second floor. Kendall closed the door behind them, hands still attached as they took a few steps forward in awe, the wood floor slightly squeaky.

"This is so quaint," Stella spoke out joyfully, her head looking upwards at the lighting fixtures offered on the ceiling. Kendall swept his finger against the musty pink couch, picking up a large, layer of dust and he blew it off with a chuckle.

"Quaint, and unsanitary," he said with a furrowed brow, looking around the room with a smile. He gently coiled Stella back into his arms with a small snicker, and pressed his lips to hers chastely, her hands resting on his chest playfully.

His arms were wrapped around her tiny waist, his forehead against hers as his hands roamed her back. He snuck his hands under the warm fabric of her shirt, touching her icy white skin, massaging small circles on her spine and waist line as she smiled and sighed contently.

"What do you think of me and you living in a house like this someday?" Kendall spoke out in a whisper, looking into her eyes. Stella chuckled and slid her arms around Kendall's neck tenderly, pulling him closer to her. The heat between the two began to radiate in the large, abandoned house, Stella pushing her body closer to Kendall's. It was the first time the two had acknowledged any sort of future together, and while Stella seemed a bit hesitant at first, she couldn't resist Kendall's boyish charm.

"A house like this? Don't you think we should get one a _little_ cleaner?" she giggled, her eyes darting to Kendall's lips every so often. Kendall looked around rolling his eyes with a smile, hands still rubbing her back.

"Yes of course, but…don't you think it would be fun to play house?" Kendall asked her.

Stella looked around, Kendall's hands moving higher on her back as she pondered the thought playfully, melting into his embrace. Home. She had been in _so_ many homes since she could last remember. Whether it was an orphanage, a foster home, or a beautiful mansion, the word had never had meaning to her, not like it had to Kendall. He gently began to drag her into the adjoining kitchen and smiled as she looked on confused. He gently nudged her towards the counter, slowly biting his lip and maneuvering his arms around her waist, through her own arms so his hands touched hers on the counter.

"We can cook dinner together, me grilling outside," he said, motioning his chin to the patio outside, "and your pretty little self chopping up vegetables," Kendall spoke out with a smile, touching Stella's hands gently, pantomiming a subtle chopping motion. She chuckled and he kissed her neck slyly, pushing her backside closer into him, peppering her skin with light kisses.

"Maybe. It'd be nice to…actually _have_ a home," she said with a light laugh as Kendall's face dropped a bit. He had almost forgotten that she was a runaway. He held her closer out of instinct and smiled, allowing her to bring his fingers up to her lips kissing them.

"It'd be nice to walk in the door and see you in my home," he said softly into her ear, blowing away small strands of blonde hair. Stella swallowed hard a bit, biting her lower lip nervously, as she turned to Kendall with a smile on her face, and her eyes shining brightly.

"Pity the future, Kendall Knight. I'm here now, aren't I?" she asked softly, her hand going to his cheekbone and stroking it gently with soft fingertips. Kendall looked down in her eyes and swallowed hard, closing his, overcome with a sudden burst of heat. A firework seemed to have exploded, as their hands shook with desire over each other's bodies. His hands gripped her tighter to him, and his entire body seemed to be overcome with hot blood. There was nothing left to do now but what came naturally. The tension had begun the second they had first kissed, and they had just been waiting to release it at the right time.

Kendall suddenly pushed Stella up against the counter of the musty old house, as his lips instantly attacked hers with more than desire. Stella let out a slight moan, slipping her hands around Kendall's broad shoulders as their tongues wriggled against each other for dominance in the kiss. Stella let down her guard, and Kendall took full control of her body, his hands going down to her backside and giving it a squeeze as he grinded against her, his mind in a frenzy of passion. Their lips messily rubbed against each other, the warmth and moist feeling intoxicating Kendall's entire body beyond his wildest beliefs.

"You don't know **how** many nights I pleased myself to you," Kendall spoke out with a strained, breathy voice against her lips, his sexual confidence on a high from the tension. "How many nights I dreamed of being inside of you," he chuckled.

It was true. There had been many a night where Kendall would close his eyes, and shamefully pleasure himself to the image of the beautiful blonde. But Kendall didn't feel embarrassed or awkward when he did it, as he imagined being inside of her more than anything. It was comforting to him, and allowed him to be content with their separation for a bit. Stella chuckled into his lips deviously, as she grinded her thigh against the beginnings of his erection, barely prominent in his jeans. Kendall licked her lips daintily, as their noses messily collided, moans escaping their lips as they breathed heavily in sync.

"You're flattering me, Kendall Knight," Stella spoke with labored breaths with a sly smile on her face, as he abandoned her lips, and concentrated on grinding her lower half into his.

Not feeling enough of her beautiful body, Kendall shakily brought his hands down to her jeans and unbuttoned them quickly, then going to his with a thought in mind and a sly smile on his red, flushed face. He quickly pushed both of their jeans pushed down past their knees, so they remained clad in just undergarments. Kendall pressed his body onto Stella's and began grinding her even harder, as she bucked her hips into him. The fabric of Kendall's boxers was damp at the head of his length, as the friction from the fabric provided elusive pleasure for both of the lovers. Kendall's hands pressed up against the counter as he licked and bit his lips in a passionate daze, his hardening erection straining against the thin material of his boxers, and against the delicate lacy material of Stella's delicate briefs. He could feel the dampness from both of their bodies as they continually bucked into each other against the counter, tight lipped moans coming from each of their mouths. Stella wriggled her hips every so often, providing a scapegoat of ecstasy in Kendall's favor, sending chills up and down his spine. He quickly stripped of his shirt, letting it fall to the floor without a sound.

Stella breathed heavily, as she held onto Kendall's shoulders tightly, his hardened length passing her clothed center teasingly, her knees going weak with each buck of his slim hips. Her nails dug into his hips and she let out a loud, yelp of a moan. Kendall immediately brought his lips to her neck, sucking harshly at the delicious white skin of her neck, as he ceased movement of his hips. He pulled off her neck, moist saliva coating his lips, as Stella immediately pulled his face towards hers, Kendall's fingers tracing the stark purple mark he had made under her jaw line as they kissed.

Their tongues wriggled against each other, Kendall's hands going to the hem of Stella's underwear. He smirked at her, and in a fluid motion dropped his boxers to the floor, letting them pool at his lower calves with his jeans. He fumbled with hers, successfully dropping them to the floor and taking them and her jeans off her ankles as their lips smacked rushedly, the feeling of Stella underneath him amazingly beautiful. He wasted no time in bringing his hand between her legs maneuvering past her slick folds of skin to her center where he stroked achingly, causing Stella's legs to shiver at the slightest touch. She moaned into Kendall's lips, smiling as she sighed deeply, thankful for the return of raw pleasure.

"_Mmm," _Stella moaned out breathily, as Kendall worked her hard, their tongues still intertwined, as he nibbled on her lips delicately. Her back was pressed tight against the counter as her hips moved in circles with his touch, Kendall not being able to hold back as she grabbed his hips tighter and closer to her body, letting out a small, tight lipped moan. His thumb and forefinger moved faster along her center as Stella held onto him tighter, sighing loudly and biting down on his shoulder from the pleasure.

Stella adventurously brought her hands down between them and fastened her grip around his length, her thumb giving one achingly strong stroke on the underside, as Kendall hissed in pleasure, and ceased his own hands movements for the time being. He hung his head in pleasure as her thumb followed the same path, setting every nerve in Kendall's body on fire. She stuck her finger in the slit of his head, causing the boy to go weak at the knees.

"So **fucking** good," Kendall moaned out as Stella's tongue and teeth went to his jaw line, where she licked and sucked the white skin to her boyfriend's liking.

Kendall sighed out deeply, his hands at her bare backside kneading the firm skin as Stella's entire body melted into Kendall's. She ran her hand along him, kneading the tip between her thumb and forefinger as Kendall breathed heavily, eyes closed. Their lips met again, Stella's hand still wrapped around his erection firmly as he dipped his hand into her sweater. Without fear, he exposed her left breast and instantly brought it to his mouth, making sure to fully take her nipple between his moist lips, where he ran his tongue around the sensitive bud. Stella moaned softly, her hand taken away from Kendall's length, and ran it up through his soft blonde locks, gripping them in the heat of the moment. Kendall kissed and licked the tight skin of her breast as Stella sighed and breathed heavily, her eyes closed, eyelashes fluttering as she pulled him closer.

"I'm _so_ wet," she barely spoke out in a helpless moan, Kendall wasting no time as he brought his hand to her center again, taking no mercy out on her this time. Her legs shook a bit as he navigated his thumb to her center roughly to please her, her hands grabbing onto his hips tightly, tracing the deep cut of his hipbones. He maneuvered her sweater off with one hand, and gave her other breast the same treatment, his hands tracing her soft skin like velvet.

"I _need_ you inside me, babe," Stella panted out between kisses, one hand going to his wrist to stop his movements, the sounds of their lips locking echoing throughout the dirty house, along with heavy breaths and small moans. "I wanna come with you."

"I thought you'd never ask," Kendall groaned out against her skin, powerfully picking her up by her bare thighs and placing her on the counter. Stella shivered a bit at the cold tile on her bare backside, but quickly ignored it as Kendall placed two warm hands on her thighs smiling, his hardened length nearly twitching in front of her as Stella opened her bare legs, confident and comfortable as could be with him. Kendall smiled at how beautiful and flawless her body was, knowing he needed to explore _**all**_ of it. He slowly descended down his knees, Stella quite curious about what he was doing.

"Kendall?" she asked breathy, breasts moving up and down, swallowing hard."What are—are…_**oh GOD**_!" Stella cried out in pleasure, as he nibbled and kissed her center gently.

Her hands instantly went to his hair and threaded through it as Kendall sloshed his tongue inside of her, hands spreading out her thighs as he gently worked her with his tongue, his scruff tickling the inside of her thigh. Stella leaned back on the counter, breathing heavier than before, head against the cabinet as she closed her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. Kendall's hands went to where her torso and thighs met, as he massaged them gently, his humid bangs sweeping against her smooth skin. His lips molded around her center as he sucked, nipped and licked to her ultimate delight. Her hips bucked up a bit as her legs spread even wider, biting her lower lip white.

"Baby, please. I—I wanna come _**with**_ you," Stella begged ruthlessly. Kendall ceased, kissing her swollen center lightly one last time before heading back up past her navel, kissing each of her breasts, and then her lips. Stella could taste herself in his lips, and giggled in the kiss, Kendall's hands resting on her thighs.

Stella parted and looked at him with a small smile, a bit of sweat sticking to the back of her neck, and under her breasts, as Kendall chuckled, his hands on her thighs gently, as he leaned in and feverishly kissed her again. Kendall spread her legs a bit more, his hands trickling up the insides of her thighs, as she scooted closer to him, their naked bodies in close range.

"Ready?" he asked with a smile. She nodded. He powerfully thrust into her, his eyes rolling up in pleasure of the warmth and wet that instantly surrounded his length. Stella's mouth hung open in ecstasy as he slid further into her, the feeling of him laying inside of her absolutely heavenly. He was buried to the hilt, looking down at their interconnected bodies and smiling a bit. It was like home to him, full of comfort.

"_Ngh, __**So**__ good," _Kendall moaned in pleasure with a large sigh, as he hung his head down.

Stella shifted her body a bit, feeling his large self in her still fairly tight body. Kendall took a few deep breaths, remembering just how good it felt to be with Stella like this, and he touched her knees gently as she became again used to the intrusion. Stella went to Kendall's ear, breathing heavily and nibbling his ear lobe, loving how he felt inside of her and wanting to freeze this moment forever. Them being connected as one was amazing. It was the closest that Kendall could ever get to Stella.

"Take me roughly," she whispered softly in his hear, her breaths short and staccato, her fingertips rubbing the nape of his neck tenderly.

He swallowed hard and nodded as she played the frays of hair at the back of his neck, his hands rubbing her bare back gently. He swiftly pulled out of her, and then pushed back in again as Stella's legs spread wider, breaths getting heavier. She let out a small moan into his neck, holding on tightly to his neck like she was in some sort of pain.

"I don't wanna be too rough, love," Kendall spoke in her ear as he remained inside of her, his fingers tracing her slim abdomen. Stella slowly suckled on his earlobe and blew in his ear, her hands at his lower back, massaging it gently.

"Don't hold back, Kendall," she spoke with a small smile.

Kendall looked in the eyes of Stella, and saw they were shining blue with excitement. He wanted to be rough with her, and he wanted to give her all the pleasure he could in this moment. He wanted to show her how he felt about her with holding nothing back.

"Okay," he said softly with a small, adorable smile.

Kendall spread Stella's legs wider, his tip still laying inside of her, as he thrust into her roughly, and she let out a loud moan. His lips went to hers and he fiercely kissed her, as he pulled from her and roughly entered her again. Her entire body seemed to move as he pounded her, their lips fiercely intertwined, tongues dancing across each other's teeth. Stella moaned softly into Kendall's lips, as he swallowed it, moving his harder and faster. Her nails scratched his sweaty back, as it moved with each thrust.

"_Kendall,"_ Stella moaned wantonly against his slight scruff, as her legs spread even wider. She quickly locked her legs around him, as his hands kneaded her breast gently, giving her gentle body the utmost care he could possibly find in the depths of his heart.

"You feel _so _good," Kendall grunted out through his thrusts, his legs beginning to turn to putty. Stella chuckled a bit as Kendall went to her neck, and softly suckled the skin where he had marked her earlier, the bittersweet pain and pleasure creating an intense mix for the blonde girl.

The only thing that was going through Stella and Kendall's minds was how much they wanted this closeness. How much they wanted to lose sight of everything else in the world, lost in each other's beauty and captivating complexes. They needed this. They needed to be one person, to have that one moment where nothing else matters, and you forget where you are. One moment to be one with the person you love.

"_Harder," _Stella moaned out, feeling her lower half begin to tighten up with pleasure. Kendall licked his lips with determination and went harder, as she held onto him tightly, her eyes closing and face contorting. He nuzzled her nose with his and kissed under her eyes tenderly, still fiercely pounding into her shaking legs to which were spread as wide as they could be.

"Look at me," Kendall spoke out softly, his breaths heavy, and heart beating from his chest. Stella swallowed hard and opened her eyes, looking at Kendall's beautiful eyes, his face shiny from sweat, and his hair matted to his forehead with humidity. He looked beautiful.

Their bodies moved together roughly, Kendall's hips moving faster and faster as both parties began to lose control of their actions. Grips on hair and skin were tightened as the end neared, their eyes stuck on each other.

"Stella, you're so fucking warm," Kendall whispered in a strained moan, his hips moving faster, breaking the staring contest at the warmth enveloping his length. "It feels _so_ fuckin' good baby." She moaned into him and licked at his neck, biting on his loose skin and bucking her hips back into him, allowing him to be buried even further into her, his breaths pantingly exhausting.

"_Mhm, Kendall, _come hard, please," Stella muttered like a little girl into his messed up hair, her hands on his bare backside massaging the soft skin beneath her clammy palms. "Come as hard as you can, baby."

"_Ngh, Stellaahhh,_" Kendall moaned out in pain and pleasure, grabbing her thighs painfully as he felt himself release inside of her, each wave of pleasure accompanied by a harsh sucking in of breath.

Exhausted, their foreheads leaning against each other, bodies trembling as they slowly and tenderly worked the other through their orgasm, their hands interlocked resting on Stella's thighs with eyes wide open. Their breathing was heavy, as they looked into each other's eyes, totally spent and exhausted as Kendall's hips moved slower and slower until they finally stopped. Stella touched Kendall's face in absolute awe, staring up at him like he was a painting in a gallery, her blue eyes shining hopefully. She needed to hear him say it again as she leaned against his rising, smooth, slick chest and he kissed her hair, his hands moving up and down her bare back.

"I love you so much, Stella."

She sighed content with his words and moved herself on the counter, feeling that Kendall was still hard inside of her, and her breathing picked up again.

"You're still…" Stella breathed out heavily, kissing Kendall's heart gently. He nuzzled into her hair and chuckled.

"Are you up for more?" he asked her with a soft chuckle, his breaths still dying down from their first escapade. Stella looked up at him with a small smile, chastely pecking his lips and nodding.

"You betcha."

* * *

Time flew incredibly fast when Stella and Kendall were together.

It had been nearly a week since his arrival, and he was to leave tomorrow. As he walked through the freshly fallen snow with Stella, he couldn't help but feel his heart totally and completely break on this day. It was the same feeling he had so many weeks ago when he had left Stella the first time, but even worse. The two, with hands tightly interlocked, walked through the snow by the pond, with mostly Stella talking about their plans to stay in touch.

"How about I'll send you the letter this time. You're not going anywhere, right?" Stella asked with a smile, her knit cap and blonde hair hanging freely over her shoulders as she squeezed Kendall's hand tightly.

"Nope. I promise," Kendall said with a sad smile. He stood a little further away from her than usual, his head down, his black beanie on, bangs covering his eyes.

It was February 21st.

It had been 365 days since Kendall had last saw his father walk out of the house that fateful morning, never to return again.

Kendall had been quiet and on edge all day, even though Stella was in his presence. He had laid in bed holding back fits of tears as the clock struck twelve. Kendall wished more than anything he could just stay in bed crying, singing his father's favorite song. But he knew that was going to help anyone, especially himself. He was only here for another day, and then God knows when the next time he would see Stella would be. Kendall hadn't mentioned the significance of the day yet although, not wanting to ruin their time apart.

Stella sighed, studying Kendall's motions and biting her lower lip. She whipped around in front of him, grabbing his other gloved hand tightly and pushing herself into him a bit, leaning her lips up to his with a smile. Kendall chastely pushed his lips against hers, not lingering like he usually would. He swallowed hard and sighed as Stella tipped his chin up so he was looking in her eyes. Stella saw how his eyes were weighted down with sadness, a dark brown obstructing the beautiful emerald around the iris.

"What's wrong, Kendall Knight?" Stella asked him sadly, her hands touching his. Kendall looked in her beaming blue eyes and sighed deeply, trying his best to smile, knowing Stella would see right past it.

"My father," Kendall spoke softly, swallowing hard and clearing his throat, "my father died a year ago today." Kendall looked away from Stella's eyes, out into the snowy landscape in front of him, tears coming to his eyes. He chuckled a bit, but his face instantly scrunched up, lips thinning, his hands in his pockets as he looked down, shaking his head. "I miss him so much," he cracked out, his voice weak. He had tried his best not to break down in front of Stella but it was inevitable on a snowy day like this.

Stella said nothing, but leaned into Kendall and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck, kissing it lightly as he cried silently. His arms went around her and hugged her closer as Stella kissed his jaw line gently.

"It's okay," Stella whispered softly, hugging him to her, her hands rubbing his back under his coat. Kendall parted from her, wiping his eyes ashamed and walking away from her a few steps, trying to gain his composure back. Stella walked over to him, the snow crunching underneath her boots, her hand touching Kendall's arm gently.

"I understand, Kendall Knight. Believe me I do," Stella said sympathetically, her voice in a sweet tone. Kendall chuckled out of annoyance, and swallowed hard, rolling his eyes.

"No one understands what I've gone through," Kendall spoke coldly. Stella looked at him a bit upset, with furrowed eyebrows, at his sudden change of attitude.

"Of course I understand what you are going through," Stella spoke, as if it was a fact and he was blatantly wrong. "I've never really had real parents, and the only ones I did have I lost." Kendall should've accepted Stella's help, and he should've taken her into his arms, nodded, and dropped the subject so they could have one nice day together. But that didn't happen.

"**No one** understands what I am going through, Stella. Not you, not my mom, not my sister, okay? No one understands that I lost my father, and that—that I've been fucked up ever since," Kendall spoke out loud, his voice beginning to echo a bit with anger. Stella swallowed hard at Kendall's outburst and was confused. She had never seen him angry like this.

"I'm just trying to help," she said softly, Kendall turned away from her again scoffing.

"No one can help me. Therapy won't work, my best friends don't give a shit, my mom doesn't know what to do with me, I'm helpless," he spoke out angrily, his voice shaking with fear and anxiety. Stella touched his arm again.

"You are not hopeless, Kendall Knight. You're wonderful. I think you're wonderful. And I wanna help you, I want to make you feel better," she said. Kendall nudged her away and took a few steps from her in the snow shaking his head.

"No. You can't help me. You'll never be able to help me. You can't bring my father back, Stella. No one can," he said upset, turning to her with a stern set face, and red, flushed cheeks. She approached him again and sighed, swallowing hard, getting the confidence for what needed to come out.

"You can't dwell on your father, okay? He's gone, and you're right no one can bring him back, but you **can't** tell people they can't help you because they can't bring him back. That's unrealistic. You need to let people in, like me. **I** can help you, let me help you," Stella spoke out helpless, puffs of fog passing her lips with each word.

"**No one can help me!**" he yelled at her angrily. Stella looked at him surprised, taken aback by his booming voice. He had never really raised his voice at her before, and she didn't like it all. Her heart began to beat fast and she bit her lower lip in determination, trying to get through to him.

"You won't **let** anyone help you!" she said back, her eyes alive with blue venom, like they had been in the stockroom when she had yelled at him and told him she was just a runaway. "You're stubborn, Kendall Knight! You're making your life miserable, thinking the only way you are going to be happy again is to see your father! You're not gonna see him again, okay? You have to stop dwelling on this, its tearing you apart," she cried out, extending her arms towards him in annoyance. Kendall's eyes began to grow dark at the blonde girl, and he looked at her in awe.

"And I'm supposed to take advice from _you_? You wouldn't even let **me** in at first," Kendall said disgusted with her comment, moving closer to her. "_You_ were the one who didn't even want to be in love with me. _You_ were the one who left after I sent you my letter," Kendall yelled at her angrily. Stella's heart beat into her throat, and she stepped closer to him, her face red with anger and embarrassment.

"My house was gone! What else was I supposed to do?" she told him upset. Kendall looked at her breathing heavily. He shook his head at her, anger boiling up at how stubborn and annoying she was being.

"Why'd you leave, Stella? You're a runaway, you spent nights on the fucking street all the time, but this time you couldn't just stay? I thought I was your reason to stay," he spoke out angrily, eyes alive with fire, fists in a fighting position. Deep seated in him since his best friend's doubts, he couldn't help but bring them up. From the beginning of their visit, Kendall had known Stella was much more inclined to him than before, and wondered why. He wondered why she had never brought up his letter, and how she was so upset she missed out on it. "You know, **all** my friends told me I was stupid for loving you, and none of them believed me, and I defended you to the fucking death. They told me I wasn't in love that, and that you didn't love me back! Do you _know _how fucking **stupid** I felt that I didn't get a letter back from you? I waited **every fucking** **day **for something back, and it _never _came. I thought you were sick, or dead, or back in an orphanage where you were getting smacked around. I prayed for you every night that you would be okay, and that you thought of me when you looked up at the stars. The** least** you could've done was wait here an extra day for my letter that you **knew**I was sending the day I got home," Kendall yelled out at her, his breaths heavy, fog spewing from between his pink lips. "I don't understand _why_, Stella."

Stella looked at Kendall in awe, and everything started rushing back to her. How empty, and undeserving she felt of Kendall after he left, how she had run away, not wanting to hear from him ever again. Her heart broke into pieces with his words as he stood before her. It seemed like he was going back on his promise about how he would always love her, and Stella couldn't have felt more betrayed by his notions. She had to tell him everything that was bottled up inside of her.

"I ran away from you, alright?" she screamed out loud, tears pricking her eyes. Kendall looked at her confused, watching her smile turn into a frown, her blue eyes glassy from salty tears. "I felt I didn't deserve you, and that you were too good for me, and I-I ran away from you cause I didn't want your letter," she cried out to him. "I tried to forget you and I-I had sex with this other runaway who didn't care about me at all, and he didn't tell me he loved me like you did after we were done, and—and it made me realize how much I loved you, Kendall Knight. I love you so much, and I do understand, okay? I'm fucked up too," Stella cried in one long breath. "I'm so fucked up." She had hoped Kendall had understood what she had said, but he had stopped listening after she mentioned Cooper.

Upon hearing that Stella had sex with someone else, Kendall had _never_ felt so angry, and so absolutely horrible in all his life. Not even when he had scored in the Hawks own net during a championship tournament match two years ago. His entire heart seemed to break into a million pieces, and he felt the weight of the world come down on his shoulders. His eyes got wide, his lips dry, and he felt tears to start to come to the surface.

"You—you slept with someone else?" Kendall asked softly and stoically. Stella looked at him, grabbing his hand, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I-I wanted to forget about you, I felt I didn't deserve you and I just wanted to see if I could weed you out, but I couldn't. You were _always _there, and it didn't mean anything, I promise," she cried out, squeezing his hand tightly. He pulled his hand away from hers in absolute shock and disgust. He didn't even want to touch her right now. He took a few steps backward in the snow, hands in pockets, not knowing what to do next, and slowly turned around and began to walk away from her. Had Carlos, James and Logan been right along? Jesus, Logan, Kendall thought. He hadn't even been on his cell phone this whole week, and who knew what was going on at the Mitchell's. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he walked away completely shattered, anger boiling through his veins at a dangerous temperature.

"Kendall, **wait**!" Stella called, using his first name only. She ran in front of him and pushed her arms against his chest, stopping his movement as he nudged her aside, not saying a word. "Listen to me!" she said to him, eyes full of tears, grabbing at his jacket again. He pushed her off once more shaking his head. "Get the **fuck **away from me," he muttered out viciously and heartbroken. She stood in front of him, grabbing him by his collar hopelessly one last time, begging him to listen to her. "Listen to me!" she screamed out angrily.

Kendall didn't know what came over him, and didn't really realize what he was doing, until his felt his hand come in contact with Stella's face.

Stella fell back a bit, bringing her hand to her face as Kendall stopped dead in his tracks, eyes widened in horror as he looked at his girlfriend's terrified face. Her hand rested on her face, tears streaming down her cheeks, falling down on her plump pink lips, her eyes a dark, dingy, cadet grey. Kendall breathed heavily, his hand not moved from the open palm position it had been when he had hit her. Stella looked at him like he was a monster under the bed she never had. She slowly took her hand away from her face, and Kendall's entire body did a once over when he saw the red mark on her fair white skin, with already a bit of purple bruising in the center.

Neither lover said a thing, as Stella burst out into tears, slowly nodding her head and walking away from Kendall in sobs. Kendall wanted nothing more than to chase after her, hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright, and that he was sorry, but the day was too much for him. He sadly and painstakingly watched Stella walk away from him, and stood there absolutely hopeless, the sound of his heart breaking echoing throughout the mountainous landscape of Thief River Falls.


	20. Healing

**A/N: Some big time things coming into play here. Don't worry, next week is gonna be a lot of fun interaction between the boys :D No more drama for a little while haha. Please read and review, all? I've seen a drop in my reviews lately and it makes me a little sad :(**

**And of course, here is a wonderful snippet from waterwicca's ****Past The Sorrow:**

The past month with Kendall had made Sage feel almost normal. It was almost like everything was right in the world… like everything she had gone through with Elliot was a nightmare or some sort of twisted cosmic test that she had passed, and now she got to live with her reward. For four weeks, she has gotten to live with the guy she loves. Just the daily pleasures, such as brushing their teeth side by side or kissing each other goodnight, are enough to make her heart flutter. She has never felt more content and happy…

However, there are certain times when Kendall and Sage will look at each other and engage in a silent conversation; unspoken words of reassurance, hope, and comfort. This usually occurs after what they consider a trigger: something that reminds them of Elliot. A police siren or someone with a similar appearance that can make Sage shake in fear… It reminds them of what lurks in the shadows threatening to take their joy away. It's in these moments that the loving couple let the anxiety and fear creep in…

They've been living a perfect, happy life for a month; just enough time to make them comfortable, but not enough to make them feel secure in what they have. What if it all gets taken away? These moments of doubt and fear leave them wondering when it's all going to come crashing down.

The bell finally rang and Kendall waited anxiously next to the door as the hall flooded with hyper teenagers. Sage always stayed back, until everyone was out of the room, so she wouldn't risk being stuck in the crowd. She finally stepped nervously out of the room, relaxing and smiling as soon as she saw Kendall.

"Hey," he spoke softly as she became the only person in the world. They leaned in for a gentle kiss before mutually pulling away. Sage adjusted her bag on her shoulder so that he could wrap his arm around her back and pull her into him as they walked.

"How did you do on your Algebra test?" she asked with hopeful eyes, knowing he had gotten it back earlier that afternoon. She was praying that some of her tutoring had gotten through to him.

"Ugh!" Kendall only groaned playfully as a response.

"It can't be that bad…" she chuckled while he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a folded up packet and proceeded to flatten it out to show her a grade of 58 written in red ink. "Oh…" Sage sighed and bit her lip while Kendall shot her a smirk and an I-told-you-so look. "Well, you were damn close to a 'D' that time," she offered encouragingly.

"Yeah," he laughed at her optimism as they moved through the main corridor of the school. "Who gives a test in the first two weeks of school anyway?" he asked in annoyance.

"It's to 'assess your knowledge'… At least that's what the syllabus says…" Sage laughed lightly.

"I'll give them something to assess…" he grinned menacingly and started to crush the failed test against his stomach with his free hand.

"Stop it!" Sage raised her voice, but couldn't stop laughing at his annoyance. "We'll go over it later," she assured him with a kiss to the cheek as she took the test from him and threw it into her bag.

"Okay, my little genius," Kendall whispered playfully and leaned down to kiss her temple as they walked. "I swear, you remind me so much of the guys," he added after a few moments of thinking about the only friends he had ever had.

"How so?" she asked curiously, obviously humored. They had spent a lot of time reminiscing about Minnesota and she was always interested in hearing Kendall talk about his friends. He would always get a smile on his face like no other.

"You're a smarty pants like Logan, musically gifted and good looking like James, and you're crazy like Carlos," he explained proudly.

"Hey, we're both nuts," she interjected happily.

"Agreed," Kendall sighed dramatically as they neared the exit. He was sure to weave them carefully through the many bodies of rambunctious teenagers and several faculty members.

**Yup. You KNOW you wanna keep reading! So do it! You will NOT regret it!**

**I don't own anything except Stella, and my other OC's.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty: Healing_

Logan Mitchell sat in his room, on his bed, reading out of his age old physics textbook. His reading glasses were placed on his nose as his scanned the black and white text, ignoring the colorful pictures of demonstrations of Newton's Law of Inertia. He read it intently, his fingers curled up over the old pages, ready to turn when needed. He had read this textbook front and back three times before since receiving it in middle school four years ago. Once when his cat ran away, once when he'd won second place in the science fair and once when his grandmother passed away.

There was a knock on his door and his head shot up. "Yeah?" he asked.

Kelly Mitchell opened the wooden door a bit, her eyes tired and red, wearing a black t-shirt and baggy grey sweatpants. Her dark hair was pulled back into a pony tail as she leaned her head against the door sighing with a small sympathetic smile on.

"I just wanted to say good-night," Kelly spoke softly. Logan nodded at her.

"Good-night," he spoke out stoically, his eyes going back to the pages intently.

He took a deep breath, calming the insides of his body down as his mother walked into his room. Logan knew this talk was inevitable. He figured his mother had given him some time two for everything to really seep in, before she approached him since she had announced the news. She made her way over to her son, her bare feet squeaking on the wood floor, as she sat on his pale blue and black striped comforter, smoothing out the wrinkles. Logan looked up at his mother and saw how tired and upset she looked, but definitely not stressed. It seemed as if something had been taken off her shoulders.

"Logan, we should really talk about this," Kelly said softly, extending her hand out to the corner of Logan's book, touching her son's hand gently, her manicured fingers over his plain, bitten ones.

"There's nothing to talk about, mom. I'm fine," Logan lied with a chuckle, freeing his hand from his mother's grasp, and pushing up his reading glasses unnecessarily. He set his hand lower on the text book as Kelly sighed deeply.

"Sweetheart, no matter what happened between me and your father, he is still always going to be your father, alright?" Kelly said comfortingly. Logan looked up at her with a nod and a small smile, his hands tensing on the pages of the old textbook.

"I know. Just cause you and dad are getting a divorce doesn't mean he loves me any less, and doesn't mean that I'll never see him when he moves out," Logan repeated out like a robot. Truth was, he'd been practicing saying it with a straight face in his head for hours now.

Kelly looked down at her son concerned, touching his hand again tenderly and sighing.

"Why don't we talk about this," Kelly said sadly. Logan chuckled easily, taking off his reading glasses with the hand that lay under his mothers and nodded his head no, his eyes still glued to the text book.

"There is nothing we need to talk about, Mom. Half of marriages end in divorce anyway, it's a statistical fact. That's why** I'm** not getting married," Logan joked out, however totally serious as his fingers curled on the pages, holding the book against his lap tightly. "Really, I'm fine with it. I really am," Logan said, his voice starting to quiver. Kelly looked at her son, knowing this was just a façade as Logan shook his head and scoffed with a half smile on. "It's really quite interesting, isn't it? I mean, dad never really had enough time to spend with **me**, but somehow, Tina Marie's kids in New York spent more time with him than I did," he laughed out to himself.

"Logan…" Kelly spoke softly, grabbing her son's hand tighter. He laughed again and looked at his mother, closing the book with a funny, goofy smile on his face.

"And you know what else is funny? The fact that dad took me and Kendall to California for business, even though every time he was on the phone, it wasn't with his boss, it was with Tina Marie," he chuckled out shaking his head. Logan looked at his mother's pained eyes again. "But the **best** is that dad had a whole second family without us, isn't that great? Isn't it just awesome how he makes time for that disgusting whore's kids, but he's not going to be here to spend my sixteenth birthday with me," Logan said with a wavering voice, swallowing hard "even _before_ you kicked him out." Tears started to form in his eyes, as he clutched his textbook tightly looking at his mother's eyes. Logan chucked his textbook to the side of him as a tear fell down his cheek, his hands trembling.

"Sweetheart, it's okay to be upset," Kelly whispered to him touching his shoulder gently. Logan nodded no and looked at his mom letting out a laugh of anger again.

"No. I'm not upset. I'm angry. I'm angry because I wasted my time on someone who has had a second family for four** fucking **years. Someone who I looked up to, someone who I wanted to be," Logan cried out to his mother, tears freely falling down his face. He shook his head with anger and looked at his mother determined. "Well we don't need him. You don't need him and I sure as hell don't need him," Logan cried out, his voice breaking on the last few words. "I'll be a better man than he **ever** was," he screamed out to no one, tears running down his cheeks, his balled up fist trembling.

Kelly couldn't look on any more as she clutched Logan to her chest, and allowed her son to break down into her arms. Logan's nails clawed her bare, pale arms as he cried hysterically into her, his entire back rising and falling with each sob. Kelly softly cried into her son's hair as well, peppering his temple with kisses and stroking his back comfortingly.

"I know you will be, baby," Kelly cried into her son's raven black hair, as the two cried into each other's arms, huddled on a small single bed meant for one.

* * *

"It's so weird fighting with Kendall. I hate it. We've never fought this much **combined** as we have the past few months," Carlos said upset, lazily lying on his stomach on the grey carpet of James' room. James, who sat opposite him on the floor picking at his nails nodded with a deep sigh. The two boys were obviously out of whack without their other half. Logan wasn't really talking since everything had come crashing down with his father, and Kendall had only returned yesterday evening, and hadn't talked to the boys since the fight in his room.

James was **very** angry with Kendall. Not only had he ignored Logan's texts, but also had ignored Carlos' and James' texts right when Logan needed them the most. Ever since they were kids, James had always felt very protective of Logan, while Kendall was mostly the protector of Carlos. It started off because of Kendall and James' height, but as years went on, it became so much more. James felt as if it was his job to protect Logan, who sometimes so smart, just couldn't make the right decisions to protect himself.

"I can only imagine what Kendall did up in Thief River Falls. I wonder if Stella was even there," James scoffed out in annoyance. "Probably not, just like we said." Carlos looked up at James, and swallowed hard, his brown eyes filled with worry.

"What if…this ruins us?" Carlos asked James like he had just seen a ghost. James looked at his best friend surprise and raised an eyebrow sitting up more alert.

"What do you mean?" James asked. Carlos sighed deeply, looking down at the frayed, old carpet of James' room, and then back up at him. James could see the horrification in Carlos' eyes, something that he had never really seen before, except when his parents had divorced. The brown eyes looked droopy and sad, and the usual specks of amber that lied within them had been replaced with almost a ghastly black and grey coloring.

"Things have been so…off key lately, dude. I mean…look at where we are sitting right now," Carlos spoke softly. James gave him a confused look and Carlos sighed and rolled his eyes knowingly. "It's Saturday night, there is a Wild game on, and we're missing our center and right wing defense, and _we're_ not even watching it," Carlos spoke pointing from him to James. James looked at his Latino friend, who definitely had a very good point. The boys had watched almost every Saturday night Wild game together since they had joined the pee-wee league at the age of five. Of course there had been family obligations, times when schedules didn't match up or trivial things like that, but not ever had the boys not watched a game together because they hadn't **wanted** to be with each other. Heck, the boys had never even not hung because they didn't want to be with each other. Sure, petty differences got in the way, but now, differences were more concrete. It scared Carlos to death.

"It's all Kendall's fault. Ever since he came back from vacation with that **stupid** bimbo, nothing has been the same. This is why you don't sacrifice shit for love. It gets in the way," James scoffed out, letting out his frustrations. Carlos sighed and rolled on his back and chuckle a bit annoyed with the fact of Kendall's love.

"Yeah. Or it ruins everything," Carlos said. "Like me and my dad, my mom, **their** relationship, a chance at a happy fucking family. You're the only one who's got that now, now that Logan's bastard of a father up and left," Carlos said more bitterly than James had ever heard him. James nodded his head quietly, for the first time ever, feeling lucky that his parents were all over each other half of the time. He swallowed hard as Carlos sighed and looked back at his pretty friend, with a half smile on his face.

"Now that I'm thinking about it, I mean, why does Kendall even want to be in love? It's obviously not true love, and even if it is, can't he see how its screwing him over? I mean, Stella didn't send a letter. Now, I have always been supporting Kendall in what he did about her, but now enough is enough. It's like he's choosing her over us," Carlos spoke out with a sad twinge at the end of his voice. James sighed and nodded, understanding the boy completely.

"I know. It's ridiculous. It's cause Kendall isn't strong in that sense like I am. I mean, he lost his virginity to this girl, and that's probably why he's so crazy about her. I don't see another reason how he could claim to "love" her. Luckily, I'm able to distance myself from the girls I sleep with," James bragged with a cocky smile as Carlos chuckled.

"Oh yeah, that's so awesome," Carlos mocked, as James chuckled, Carlos smiling at his best friend. He took a few deep breaths, obviously thinking about something deep. James raised an eyebrow at him and smiled.

"Uh oh. You're thinking of something deep, Carlitos. I can see it in your eyebrows," James joked. Carlos smiled small, and then his face dropped serious again. He licked his lips slowly, trying to formulate something in his head with a big sigh. He looked up at James with puppy dog eyes.

"Can I ask you a serious question?" he spoke softly. James was a bit confused. Carlos and serious _never_ intermingled. But then again, a lot of things were happening to the boys that didn't usually happen.

"Shoot."

"How exactly…**do you** distance yourself from the girls you sleep with?" Carlos asked confused, seeing is as some kind of feat. James looked at Carlos with a weird smile on chuckling. He had to admit, he wasn't really surprise, seeing as Carlos had never been afraid to question him about his sexual feats before. Carlos was definitely the curious one in the group.

"I don't know, man. I just…I don't get involved after I sleep with them," James said, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing. Carlos sat up on the floor with a small grunt looking at James.

"Yeah, but like, isn't sex supposed to be all...intimate and lovey? And full of like cuddling and stuff?" Carlos asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. James laughed out loud a bit, and shook his head.

"Dude, no **way. **Please. Yeah maybe for like boyfriends and girlfriends, and like, my parents," James shuddered a bit at the mention, "but I _never_ do that. That's stupid, and the types of girls I go out with aren't for that either. It's not like I sleep with girls who have an emotional attachment. I sleep with…well, the girl versions of myself," James said with a smile, nodding his head.

"Oh," Carlos said, biting the insides of his cheek. James looked at Carlos a bit strangely.

"Why do you ask?"

Carlos shrugged and looked from James' eyes awkwardly. "I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to figure out where you got all these anti-love ideas from. I mean, your parents are all over each other, dude. Like all the time. At least my parents fuckin' hate each other. It makes sense why I think this Kendall thing is a crock of shit," Carlos chuckled out awkwardly. "You're just an enigma."

James chuckled and shrugged looking at his best friend with an unsure smile on his face.

"I guess I just love myself the most." Carlos smiled at James, and both boys sighed, a deafening silence falling over them as they looked down at the carpet, picking at it with a sigh.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Carlos asked his friend a bit depressed, as if he couldn't spend another moment laying on the floor. Usually they would count on Kendall for something to do, and then for Logan to tell them they shouldn't, but they'd end up doing it anyway. James shrugged and looked at Carlos with a smile on his face, in his head concocting a plan. He suddenly jumped to life and his face became vibrant and fresh.

"Wanna go to Harrison's party?" James asked with bright eyes and a large smile. Harrison Haffner was one of the most popular seniors at Duluth High, and a close personal friend of all the boys. He was the only one on the Hawk's who could _possibly_ beat Kendall one-on-one, something their friend hated, but tolerated. Harrison was going to some college in Canada where he was going to start on the team, and probably go on to the NHL. Harrison Haffner was nowhere near the typical high school jock that everyone envied. He was a straight A student, on the honor roll and had shaggy brown hair and striking blue eyes, and not to mention a crooked white smile.

"We never go to Harrison's parties," Carlos said confused, resting on his forearms looking up at his friend. James nodded.

"Well yeah, because we usually are doing something with Kendall and Logan who both _despise_ parties. We have always been the party animals of the group Carlitos, and now, we have the opportunity. You know how Harrison is always saying to come through. And I haven't had sex in a few weeks, I wonder if I could find a nice senior hottie," James said licking his lips cornily, Carlos rolling his eyes and scrunching his face up in disgust.

"Pig," Carlos said with a chuckle as James got up from his sitting position.

"Come on, let's go, man. It'll be fun, and if we don't do something I'm gonna go crazy in this house," James said with a chuckle, walking over to his desk to pick up his Wild keychain holding his car keys. Carlos gave him an odd look.

"Why are you driving? Aren't you gonna drink?" Carlos asked him with cautious eyes. James gave Carlos a serious "no" face with a slight chuckle.

"No way, dude! It would mess up my game. But if you wanna drink go for it. Just don't get shitfaced, I don't wanna have to face your mom with you like that," James chuckled, as Carlos rose to his feet excitedly, a smile draped across his caramel skin.

"Okay. Let's hit it."

* * *

Harrison Haffner's house was on the other side of town, so it was a near ten minute drive from James' house to the huge party house nestled on the dead end of Granger Road. As soon as James and Carlos walked into the party, they immediately felt a bit out of place, but also very excited. There were people absolutely everywhere. There was a bit of smoke clogging the hallways, and thick seas of people dancing, all holding red cups. People littered the grand staircase on the side of the room, and there were random hook ups all around the living room, leading into the kitchen.

The walked into the house, greeted none other by Harrison himself, who was already bit tipsy. James could tell by the glaze that was over his blue eyes, and the Bud Light that was in his hand.

"James! Carlos! Wow, I'm so glad you guys finally decided to come after like a year of persuasion," Harrison joked as they stepped into the music booming, musty, crowded house. Harrison closed the huge oak door behind them, and he patted James on the back with a bright smile.

"Thanks for inviting us man, we appreciate it," James said cooly, Carlos nodding along a bit nervous, fidgeting with his hands. Harrison chuckled and grasped James' shoulder tightly shaking him a bit.

"There's stuff in the kitchen. Help yourselves boys," Harrison spoke with a laugh, as he turned back into the sea of dancing, kissing teenagers all hopped up on alcohol. The two boys stood in the middle of the crowded hallway, watching people shift by them, lovers holding hands going upstairs with snickers, and a group of smokers lighting up in the corner. The whole entire atmosphere was like a big, giant acid trip for the two boys who hadn't been to too many parties outside their own groups of friends.

"So, what do we do now?" Carlos asked James, over the loud techno music playing, bursting through their eardrums like shattered glass. James shrugged his shoulders, his eyes scanning the room for drunken sluts who would definitely be winning for a try with him. It was like he had a radar for them. They usually wore either short skirts, even though it was winter, or loose fitting low cut shirts with tight black leggings.

"Well, I kinda wanted to go talk to some girls…" James said, his voice trailing off. He saw how Carlos looked a bit nervous, and really didn't want to leave him alone here. "But why don't we check out what you'll be drinking tonight," James said with a cool smile, trying to hide his disappointment. Carlos smiled and rested his hand on James' shoulder comfortingly, people pushing by them ruthelessly.

"I know you're trying to protect me, but really, I can handle myself. I know you've been looking for some sorta action for a while now, so go get it. I'll be fine, dude," Carlos reassured him. James cocked his eyebrow and smiled, putting up a stern finger in Carlos' face with a mocking grin.

"Okay. Just make sure you control yourself, Carlitos. Like I said. No getting wasted," James spoke authoratively. Carlos rolled his eyes and nodded, looking up at the sky innocently.

"Yes, mom." James gave Carlos one last nod, knowing that the Latino boy would be just fine on his own, as he turned on one heel the opposite way of Carlos, ready to scan the packed living room for some girl he could try with.

Only fifteen minutes later, was James on the comfy old corner couch with Patricia Lawson, his arms wrapped around her frame, his hand pushing the hem of her skirt up as they sloppily kissed. James had been with Patricia before, but never anything past a simple blowjob in the back room at another sophomore party months prior. James allowed his hands to massage circles onto the soft caramel skin of Patricia's thigh, his other snaked around her back playing with the clasp of her bra daringly. She giggled in the kiss, nibbling on James' bottom lip, her hands at the back of his head, playing with his soft locks of chestnut brown hair. James moaned into Patricia's lips, as her hand moved from the back of his head, to his neck, down his chest, to his belt buckle. James parted from her with a smile on his face, one eyebrow raised as she giggled a bit tipsy. She wasn't anywhere near drunk, and James would never take advantage of a fully drunk girl, especially not one that he didn't know. She slowly walked her fingers from James' belt buckle, down to the crotch of his pants, giving him the coyest, most innocent look she possibly could with dark brown eyes and pursed candy red lips.

"Okay, babe," James whispered softly to her face with a smile, as if he was allowing her to seduce him. He planted one more chaste kiss on her lips, and he grabbed her hand tightly, as they arose from the couch, James hoping that there was an empty room upstairs. Patricia giggled, as her black heels clicked on the wooden polished stairs, James fishing in his pocket with his empty hand, making sure the condom he had packed before leaving was still there.

"I hope one of these rooms is free," Patricia spoke sweetly, her words only slightly slurred from her alcohol intake, which wasn't too much. James nodded, dragging her down the wooden hallway of the upstairs, her heels clicking against the wood as she giggled. James quickly set his sights on the last door on the right, which was slightly ajar. The couple slowly moved towards it, James' heart beating fasting and his body heating up as the idea of the pleasure he'd be receiving began to clog his head. Without a care, James flung open the door to the room, his eyes going wide at the sight before him.

"Kendall?" James exclaimed.

There he was. Kendall Knight, who was shirtless, with his jeans unbuttoned and fly unzipped, lying atop a busty redhead, whose shirt lay next to her, her skirt pushed up to her torso. Kendall's eyes were glazed over and a vibrant shade of green, unfocused, his eyebrows furrowed. He had coral lipstick marks all over his face, as well as a large pulsating purple hickey on his neck, his skin all irritated and red around it. Kendall looked at James with a half smile, the girl beneath him giggling, obviously wasted out of her mind as he laughed out loud.

"James!" Kendall exclaimed like he was the guest of honor, his voice slurred horribly. James _knew_ that Kendall was past his limit by more than a few beers by the way his eyes wouldn't focus, and how he was struggling to keep up on the bed. James could see that him and this girl had definitely gotten somewhere, his eyes awkwardly going to the large tent in Kendall's jeans.

"Kenn_yyyyyyy_, stop talking and kiss me," the redhead spoke with a drunken chuckle, pulling him down by his forearm uncoordinatedly his hands immediately grabbing the sides of her thighs and chuckling. James stood there absolutely flawed at his best friend. Since when did Kendall go to parties? Since when did Kendall go to parties and get drunk? Since when did Kendall go to parties, get drunk and hook up with girls in the back room?

Kendall pulled his lips away from the redhead and chuckled, his hands uncoordinatedly stroking her body as James began to slowly back out of the room with Patricia, having seen enough of this disaster.

"James! You were right…Stella…all girls are sluts, Jamie," Kendall mumbled out to him with a finger in his direction, lips still attached to the redhead who was going for his boxers. James looked on at a heartbroken Kendall, his face full of drunk happiness, but true sadness. He stepped more forward, taking his hand from Patricia's as Kendall looked at him, nodding with a frown. "Stupid, stupid sluts," he mumbled out, adding an entertained giggle on the end of his words.

James had known Kendall long enough to know when the boy was truly unhappy, and he saw it in Kendall's green eyes. His smile was superficial, his dimples not even bothering to show themselves, and his eyebrows were furrowed confusedly, not curved spherically like they usually were. He had never felt so horribly sympathetic for anyone in his life. As much as he as mad with Kendall, and as much as he wanted his best friend to make a stupid mistake, he could see, and feel how heartbroken he was.

James had no idea what had happened up in Thief River Falls, but he knew whatever it was it had fucked Kendall over completely.

Swallowing hard, and going over to the bed, James quickly yanked at Kendall's arm, causing him to fall over and tumble on the bed onto the hard floor. Kendall sprung up instantly, losing balance and wavering of course as the red head shot up, her breasts nearly falling out of her tiny lace bra with a confused, annoyed face on.

"Kendall, who…who is he?" she asked drunkenly, her hands slopping on James' skin, Patricia in the hallway, sober enough to know what was going on. Kendall pushed himself off James who had him in a grasp, James stumbling back a bit surprised.

"What…the **fuck**, James!" Kendall exclaimed angrily, not being able to help the giggles that escaped his throat as James looked at him perturbed. "You're not…you're not even **talking** at me," Kendall slurred out, tapping his mouth with his finger confusedly, as if he had no idea he had control of his own finger. "You're mad, and so is L_ooooooogie _and _Carloooooos,_" Kendall said laughing hysterically at his pronunciation of his best friends' names. "You all hate me, right?"

"Yeah, we're fucking pissed bro. But you're obviously messed up, so I'm gonna be a good best friend and save you from knocking up this chick and regretting it in the morning," James spoke sternly, Patricia slowly sneaking away from the scene, much to James' knowledge. He sighed, hearing her heels click "sneakily" on the hallway floor, as the redhead, who was obviously totally annoyed by the interruption gathered her clothes staggering, but not before slapping Kendall in the face and running away down the hallway half naked.

Kendall and James just stared at each other.

"You…you James, you should know. I wanted to be like you, just one night with a girl, and you…you try ruin it you!" Kendall said upset, stumbling over his words with breathless sighs and cries. Kendall bit his lower lip, looking at James as his whole complex changed. His mind floated back to Stella, and mixed with the alcohol it was a lethal combination. Kendall looked at James and swallowed hard, a tear falling down his cheek, James looking at him with a twisted face. "You…you were right. I didn't…she didn't love me, James. I was wrong…and she didn't love me…she—slept, she slept with someone," Kendall spoke out, his voice cracking in all the wrong places. "She hurt me," Kendall whispered, another tear falling down his cheek as he slowly sat down on the bed, hanging his head and letting out a sob that shook the room.

James had never felt so absolutely angry at his best friend, and never as horrible for being right in the first place. Kendall was his best friend, and putting everything aside, Kendall Knight _needed_ him right now. James slowly sat down next to Kendall, and put an arm around his shoulders, rubbing circles on his back to calm him down, biting his lower lip as he sighed deeply.

"It's okay, buddy. I'm here."

* * *

The next morning, Kendall awoke to the sounds of shuffling.

He was lying in a bed that didn't feel like his. His eyes still closed, he felt around in the sheets a bit, attempting to roll over on his side to figure this all out. However the second his head lifted off the pillow, he felt as if it was a paper weight, and when he turned on his side, he felt his sour stomach move with his body in pain. Kendall moaned audibly, clutching his head in agony, the night's events starting to replay vaguely in his head. His eyes opened and he saw a familiar room, that wasn't his, filled with bright light. The walls were white and the carpet was grey, and his bed was a lot higher up than usual. Opening his eyes more, sensitive to the light, he saw James in the corner of his room, dressed in pajama pants and a wife beater, shuffling through some papers on his desk. Kendall sighed deeply, and groaned louder, his head feeling as if it was going to explode.

James quickly turned around, his hair a bit mussed from sleep and gave Kendall a stern look.

"Oh look. Alchie is up," James said with a joking tone, but a serious voice. Kendall sighed and rested his head back on James' pillow, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose and pinching it, as James made his way over to his bed. He sat on the edge of it, his breathing heavy as James stared Kendall down.

Kendall licked his lips, still tasting a bit of alcohol which made him stick out his tongue in bitterness.

"Yuck!" he muttered out, his body shivering from the horrid taste. "What did I drink last night?" he groaned out, massaging his temples. James sighed.

"I don't know dude. But let me tell you, you were fuckin wrecked," he muttered out, chuckling a bit at the end. Kendall sighed deeply, taking his hand from his face and looking in James' eyes.

"I just remember taking a beer or two, and then, everything got fuzzy," he said, bringing his hand to his cheek. Kendall winced at the slight pain he felt on his barely bruised cheek as James chuckled, turning Kendall's head sideways so he could inspect it.

"She got you prettttty good, K-dawg," James said, giving the bruise a slight love tap to which Kendall groaned out.

"What? Who hit me?" he asked.

"Stephanie Carter slapped you in the face, dude. You took it like a winner," James spoke out, giving Kendall a chuckle, but remembering to keep himself quite reserved. Kendall began to sit up, leaning back on his forearms a bit as he winced from the strong sun that was in his eyes.

"What? Why?" Kendall asked confused, touching the tender bruise on the side of his cheek with pained eyes. James looked at Kendall with a raised eyebrow shaking his head.

"You have…no idea…what happened last night…do you?" he asked his best friend with a sarcastic chuckle. Kendall nodded no with wide green eyes and James sighed deeply.

"Well, I'll give you the short version. You were upset, you went to the party at Harrison's, you got shitfaced, and you ended up in an upstairs room with some redheaded chick, who I now know is a Senior," James said, giving Kendall a wink, "good job by the way, but yeah. You and her started getting a bit handsy, and when I dragged you out of there, the girl was telling everyone what happened, and Stephanie came up to you and asked you about it. You admitted to it, and told her that it was really good, and she slapped you," James said, Kendall looking on horrified.

"Fuck," Kendall moaned, collapsing back on the bed, his mouth dry as cotton and his head being severed into two. He breathed heavily, and then his eyes flung open as he touched his face gently, his fingers massaging his own skin softly. Stella. Kendall fell silent, his eyes dark as he swallowed hard, James looking at how his face instantly contorted. And awkward silence hung between the two best friends, as Kendall's heart beat out of his chest, absolutely everything from the past two days crashing down on him.

"Kendall…what happened up there?" James asked softly, his voice becoming kinder and softer. Kendall sighed, pushing himself up to sit against the headboard, still dressed in his shirt from last night and his boxers. He sighed deeply and hung his head, licking his dry lips to moisten them.

"So much shit, James," Kendall said with a deep sigh, running his hands through his hair in agony. He sighed deeply again and looked up at his pretty best friend, and chuckled sarcastically. "Have you ever gotten the feeling where you're entire body feels as if its melted off, and there is nothing left but a broken heart laying in the pit of your stomach?" Kendall asked.

James truly didn't know the feeling, but understood what Kendall was getting at, so he nodded.

"Stella…she had sex with someone else, and I-I got so angry at her, James. It was the 21st, the day my dad died, and she was trying to help, and I should've just let her, but I was so mad at myself for ignoring you and Carlos, and not helping Logan, I just needed to scream at someone, and she told me, and I hit her, James. I hit a girl. I hit _the_ girl," Kendall cracked out, his voice weak. James looked at Kendall very surprised and raised his eyebrow, wondering what had gotten into Kendall.

"You…you hit her?" James asked with wide eyes.

"I didn't mean to, James. It just happened! And I can't stop thinking about it. I love her, I really do, but—but she said she didn't want to love me at first. Everything is just so fucked up right now between the four of us, and Stella, my mom is probably scathing right now. I'm letting everybody down again," Kendall said with a wavering voice. He sighed deeply, and kept his composure as James sighed deeply.

"Well, I called your mom and told her you were staying here for the night, and that you passed out at my house, since you know, that's where you were _supposed_ to be last night," he joked. Kendall looked up at James, rubbing his eyes tiredly, holding his aching head.

"I just…I don't know what to do anymore, man. I'm so messed up, and I thought Stella was gonna change all of that, and make me a better man, but…but now it's all gone," Kendall spoke out, his words wary as he shook his head in anger and annoyance. James sighed, and moved closer to his best friend, resting a hand on his shoulder, his sympathetic eyes on.

"It's not all gone, buddy. I'm still here, aren't I?" James asked him with a small smile. Kendall looked up at him, his eyes a bit glassy as he shook his head and sighed deeply.

"I can't believe it but you are," Kendall whispered out. "I'm sorry, James. I'm sorry for everything," he spoke out softly. James nodded, feeling his own type of hurt. Not only was Kendall hurting from not being in a good place with friends, but to see an unbreakable bond of four brothers not able to be there for each other killed the boy. If James didn't get some type of love from people who actually _chose_ him, what good was he? He needed Kendall just as much as Kendall needed him in that moment, and it showed all over his face when relief and apology spread through his hazel irises, leaking down his cheeks in invisible tears.

"I know, Kendall. And I'm always going to be there, whether you're an idiot or not," James spoke with a smile. Kendall nodded and smiled a real smile, which James was happy to see. He watched as Kendall got up out James' bed, finding his jeans folded neatly into a pile next to his jacket on the floor, as he brought them to his feet and stepped into them, not missing a beat. He buttoned them, and fastened his brown belt over them, his head still aching but him not caring.

"What are you doing?" James asked his best friend, who looked as if he was ready to go out into battle. Kendall looked back at James and smiled knowingly, making sure his eyes were all rubbed of sleep, and that his attitude and smile were on straight.

"We're going to Logan's house. He needs me," Kendall spoke out like a soldier, as if Logan had just sent him a desperate text of a plea to come over and save him from an enemy camp. James looked at Kendall confused and stood up from the bed.

"I know you want to help, Kendall. But Logan might need a bit of space from you. He was very upset with you, man," James said, eyes wide. He looked at how Kendall's hands, nor face dropped with his statement and was a bit confused. The blonde haired boy looked even more confident and accomplished as he did before James had said anything.

"I know. He probably won't even look at me when I walk in the house. Hell, I'll be surprised if he even lets me in. But I'm going to sit there, I don't care how long it takes for him to need me, James. I let him down too many times, and I still have to apologize to him. Logan is my best friend, and every minute I waste being scared of how is he going to yell and scream is one more minute I'm losing out on with my best friend," Kendall declared menacingly, as if he were in some type of debate.

James couldn't help but smile as an infuriated and pissed off Kendall pulled his Vans on determined, with a sunken brow, and a hint of a determined smile peeking through his usually sad mask of a face. And that's when James knew that things were going to be alright.

* * *

Three boys sat in their best friend's room, as he sat his in his bed, with wide eyes totally dumbstruck.

"Why is Kendall here?" Logan asked James, like the nearly six foot blonde was totally invisible from his own eyes. Carlos, who had been subconsciously dragged from a two hour nap was still half asleep, as he tried his best to be alert at what was going on around him. He had fallen back asleep in James' car, not even paying attention to what was going to happen. Carlos, who couldn't take alcohol very well, still had a bit of a hangover.

"Logan, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything that I did," Kendall spoke out to his best friend, sitting on the floor in an Indian style position. Logan looked at Kendall with watery, puffy, eyes of death. He had spent the last few days crying at random times, and then getting angry at himself for feeling any emotion towards his deadbeat father. His father was **nothing** to him now.

"What about everything you _didn't _do, Kendall? I don't give a fuck that you ousted my father, I really don't, I actually thank you for it, cause I don't know when he would've told me and my mom if I hadn't pushed him," Logan spoke with a sarcastic, angry chuckle. Kendall swallowed hard and looked at Logan a bit confused, and went to open his mouth to speak, but Logan continued. "It's how you picked up and left for a week for this girl, and then when I needed you the most, you just—you didn't care! You were selfish, and angry at me, and you didn't even feel the need to text me, when I was apologizing," Logan said with fire in his eyes.

Kendall knew that Logan was right in every sense of the word, and as his list of what Kendall did wrong continued, the blonde boy's heart began to break more and more. He didn't know what Logan had gone through the past few days without him, and as he thought about it, he got sick to his stomach. How could he leave Logan to fend for himself like that when he needed all three of his brothers? Logan had been there for him when his father was gone, and in some ways, this was even worse. Kendall's father had left because of horrible circumstances, but Logan's father had _chosen_ to leave him. There was a long moment of silence as Kendall looked into his best friend's chocolate brown eyes.

"I was. I was stupid, and selfish, and angry. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so intoxicated by this love I thought she had for me, I couldn't see anything. I thought loving Stella would make everything better, and I thought that she really loved me back, like I loved her. But it's not like that, Logan. The only people who love me like I love them is you guys," Kendall spoke out, biting his lower lip. "And I'm never going to forget that again, I promise."

Logan seemed a bit surprised at how calm and collected Kendall was being, and noticed how sad his face looked. In the bottom of Logan's heart, he knew that no matter what Kendall Knight ever did to him, they would always be best friends. Their bond was too strong to be broken. Logan always called it a hydrogen bond, and that was how he taught Kendall chemistry last year, when the blonde was near failing the subject. Kendall had never disappointed Logan this much in his lifetime, but Logan knew that it wasn't anything near a good reason to not be friends with someone he had known his whole life, and who knew his whole life since age five.

Logan sighed deeply, and looked at Kendall, whose eyes looked dark and dingy, his hands fidgeting in front of him, and his bangs swept across his face in a sad, droopy demeanor. He missed his best friend dearly, and having Kendall in front of him admitting he was wrong was something the blonde boy never did.

"Logan, I'm sorry," Kendall said sternly, his voice full of raw emotion. Logan looked at him, his eyes then going to Carlos and James, who seemed to have already made up with Kendall, well, mostly James. Carlos wasn't very involved or angry at Kendall, seeing as that he himself had been a bit tipsy last night and didn't remember too much until he was sobered up when he got home. Logan's eyes locked on Kendall's and he nodded.

"I know you are," Logan said softly. Kendall smiled and slowly got up from the ground, walking over to the bed where he sat down next to Logan, and instantly pulled him into a hug. Logan smiled at how sappy Kendall was being, and enjoyed the warmth and protection of his best friend's arms. "I'm sorry, buddy," Kendall said into Logan's ear, as he broke the hug with two hard pats on Logan's back and a small smile. Logan nodded and smiled, an instant relief swaying through the four boys in the room, Carlos and James exchanging looks of happiness as their group of four came back full circle again.

The four boys sat in the room in a comfortable silence, something that hadn't been done in a long time. Logan sighed deeply, and Kendall smiled at his best friend. It was then he remembered Logan's birthday was next week, and that he was supposed to be going to look at cars with his father.

"Hey Logie, it's your sixteenth birthday next Saturday. What do you wanna do?" Kendall asked with an excited tone, hoping Logan would be up for something fun. Logan shrugged and scratched the back of his neck.

"I don't know, I mean. I was supposed to go out with my dad…but now that's put to shit…" Logan trailed off sadly, looking down at his bedspread. James gave his best friend a pained expression, and Kendall's voice softened.

"James, Carlos, and I are going to make sure you have the best sixteenth birthday ever, Logan. We promise," Kendall said to him. Logan's head popped up a bit, and he looked at James who was smiling, Carlos nodding feverishly and Kendall smiling at him like he was the only thing that mattered.

These were the best friends that Logan missed. They were the best friends who had been a bit off-key lately, but had somehow grown even stronger through all the hardships they had faced as a group the past few weeks, and Logan Mitchell couldn't have been any happier to see it happen.

* * *

Kendall put his blue Chevy in park along the winding road of the cemetery. It was a bit warm out today, as February was pushing towards the end, a bright March coming through with the promise of sun and a forty degree temperature. Still clad in a winter knit beanie, Kendall turned his ignition off, sitting back in his seat as the sun came in through the window, reflecting into his eyes a bit. His keys hung in the ignition, swaying a bit from his touch, making a small sound of jingle bells which echoed throughout the car.

Today, Kendall felt a bit guilty. Here he was, still with a killer hangover, visiting his father's grave, which he hadn't been to in a few weeks. It was like a double guilt almost. The sun was bright as ever, and it was nearly 4 PM. Kendall had torn himself away from his friends, seeing as that he hadn't really been home all that much since he had gotten back from Thief River Falls. He hadn't spoken to his mother about what had happened, but he tried his best to be in the house with a smile on his face so she wouldn't suspect anything. Kendall however knew it was failing miserably, and that the second he said he was going to the cemetery, Kim knew something was up.

He sighed deeply and got out of the car, swinging his keys in his hand as he closed it with a slam, walking up onto the grass through the maze of headstones, all different shapes and sizes. He took a deep breath as he center in on his father's headstone, tears threatening to come to his eyes as the icy grass crunched under his sneakers. Kendall sighed as he stood in front of it, kissing his fingertips and resting them on the marble. He smiled with a single touch of it, and chuckled.

"Boy do I need you right now, dad," he whispered with a smile. Kendall silently sat down on the cold, dead grass which still was a bit damp from the ice. He pushed his bangs to the side, his car keys and keychain wrapped around his fingers, looking down at them with a small smile.

"So, I've made a lot of mistakes the past few days, dad. I screwed up a lot, and…I feel really shitty about it," Kendall said with a small chuckle, bringing his head up to look at the headstone. "I messed up with Logan, and Carlos and James, and…well, this girl. The stuff with Carlos, James and Logan, that's all fixed, and should get better, but what I did with this girl dad, I mean…I really messed up. I—I know I talked about her when Carlos, James and Logan were here, but…I love her to death, dad. And it kills me that she slept with another guy," Kendall spoke out, closing his eyes tight in anger.

A wind swept through the cemetery rustling the keys on Kendall's chain as he jostled them in his hand.

"I'm just…nothing has been the same since you left. I don't _sleep_ the same, I don't _think_ the same, I don't _act_ the same," he whispered. "I just miss you so much all the time, and when you aren't there to help me like you used to be, it hurts so much." Kendall swallowed hard, tracing the small family picture that was left in a frame by his mother when she visited just days earlier, on the 21st.

A small tear fell from Kendall's eyes beyond his control, his voice shaky as he wiped it away with a small amount of laughter. "But I think you'd be proud of me, daddy. I've been singing in front of people lately, which is real good. I sang for Katie, and mom, and Carlos, James and Logan. I might even join the choir at school next semester if my schedule fits it in," Kendall said excitedly, sweeping his bangs from his eyes again.

Kendall looked at the headstone and traced Kristopher's name, smiling as he felt the connection between him and his father fully established for a few fleeting seconds. When he took his hand away, it was gone to which Kendall frowned, but then instantly smiled.

"It's a shame that I'm the only one of my friends who believes in true love, now. I mean, I still love this girl, Stella, a lot even after what she did. I don't think I'll ever stop loving her, but I'm going to have to try to forget her. And I know it's going to hurt so much, but I have to do it," Kendall said, swallowing hard. "And I know that you would tell me it's alright to love, because you and mom were the ones who taught me that true love _does_ exist, and that I'll find it someday," Kendall whispered, closing his eyes and bringing himself back to a memory.

_It was nearly eleven o'clock on a Sunday night in the Knight household, and eleven year old Kendall was supposed to be in bed a while ago. Kim had tucked him in at 9:30, and Kris had bid him goodnight right afterwards, placing a light kiss on his son's forehead, knowing that there would only be a few more years before Kendall grew out of it. However, Kendall had no intention of sleeping. So being the adventurous child he was, he slowly tip-toed out of bed, across the rug and into the carpeted hallway. The door across from him was Katie's room, and being just four years old, she fell asleep instantly after being placed in her tiny little bed. Kendall slowly tiptoed down the creaky old wooden stairs, trying his best to be stealthy about his adventure._

_With each step he took downstairs, the activities going about on the first floor seemed more and more exciting. Kendall heard the old record player his dad had brought back from a garage sale on, and some really slow, soft music. Curious to see what this was, he slowly inched down the stairs, sitting on his backside going down each stair softly. He saw the light in the living room to the left on, and his mother's soft laughter._

_Kendall peeked his head down through the banister, grabbing onto it, and was confused by what he saw. His mother's arms were wrapped around his father's broad neck, his hands holding her delicate waist. Both of their bodies were swaying gently to the music, his mother's long green skirt flowing with each step they took. His father's forehead was pressed against his mother's, their eyes locked on each other's as they moved in small circle._

_Kendall looked at how intent they were at staring at each other, and how it looked like they never wanted to break away. He also realized that at this point in time, he was pretty visible to them at most angles, but they didn't even bother to look his way. He imagined that either his parents were incredibly foolish, that they needed glasses, or that they were so lost in their own little world, nothing else mattered. _

_He watched his father steal a light kiss from his mother's lips, and surprisingly, Kendall neither made a yucky face, or a sound of disgust. He actually found it quite sweet how even after so many years, his parents still loved each other so much. Carlos' parents always fought, James' parents, well, they were in love too, and Kendall never saw Logan's dad kiss Logan's mom. He figured he must be lucky for his parents to still be so happy with each other._

_Watching them dance and stare into each other's eyes, Kendall felt something was there. He always saw how his father looked at her, and how he talked about her, and how he touched, and kissed her. It was always something full of love, never just anything trivial. He loved how his father could always be counted on to soothe his mother's cries, and how when his dad was upset, his mom could always cheer him up with his favorite meal. Kendall watched all the time how the two of them interacted, and even just being a young ten year old, he __**knew**__ he wanted it someday._

_His father chuckled lightly, placing a soft kiss on his mother's forehead. She looked up at him and smiled, his father whispering an "I love you," just loud enough for Kendall to hear._

"I remember watching you and mom dance that night, and I think that's when I realized I believed in true love. I believed in you and mom's love. It's one of the best memories I have of you and her," Kendall said, looking down at his keys nervously. A wind swept through the cemetery again, and Kendall looked up at the sky and realized that it was getting late, and that the stars would be showing their faces very soon.

Stars. Stella.

Kendall took a final deep breath, looking up at the headstone and smiling. "It's getting dark out, and mom wants me home for dinner," he started off. "But we all miss you. Katie misses you every day, and so does mom. James, Carlos and Logan miss you too. And of course I miss you, dad." Kendall sighed and got up from his spot on the floor, clutching his jacket tighter to him and shivering from the chill that overcame him. He extended his hand to the headstone and touched it gently, giving it a small smile as he ran his hands over the smooth marble and granite mixture with a sympathetic grin.

"Rest easy, daddy. I love you."


	21. A New Page

**A/N: I was going to add A LOT more in this chapter, but it would overdo like 20,000 words, so it will just be next week :D I hope you enjoy this week! I got some nice reviews from new people (Hi Allison! :D) and it makes me SO happy! Thank you so much for all the support on this story, I adore all of you.**

**And now, here is the usual snippet from Waterwicca's Past The Sorrow (which is absolutely AMAZING and is a must read! It wont a 2011 BTR FanFic award ya know!)**

Sage smiled weakly when she truly looked at him, and was about to speak, but they both grew tense as all sounds of the front door ceased. With one final look at his girlfriend, Kendall ran out into the hallway and stopped just before reaching the top of the stairs. He peered down and could see Katie and his mother at the threshold speaking with a police officer that, at least, wasn't Elliot. For a moment, Kendall held on to the hope that they may not have been there to take away his love. Maybe they were just investigating a -

"I'm Officer Scott Taylor. We're looking for a runaway, and we have reason to believe that Sage Henderson is here," the cop spoke politely but sternly, destroying all of Kendall's high hopes.

"What are you talking about? She's here every day, but she doesn't live here. It's the middle of the night," Karen sounded utterly confused, refusing to believe what the officer had to say. Kendall stayed in the shadows upstairs as they continued.

"Mrs. Knight, please, just send Sage out. My partner, Elliot, wants his daughter back. They had a misunderstanding, and she left home," Officer Taylor spoke with sympathy… sympathy for Elliot.

"I don't - " Karen started, but her son interjected.

"You can't fucking have her!" Kendall yelled as he rushed down the stairs.

Maybe he should have stayed hidden and waited it out, but he couldn't control himself anymore… not when the cop downstairs was speaking as if Elliot was the victim and threatening to ruin everything. Kendall had been holding himself together for a month, but it was only because he had Sage. Now, this guy was trying to take her away from him, and Kendall snapped.

He couldn't let him have her… not after they just made love. They're supposed to wake up to the bright sunlight, in each other's arms with lazy smiles and gentle caresses. It's not supposed to be before sunrise with police officers at their door.

"Kendall!" Karen yelled at her son while Katie watched him in shock. He ignored both of them completely, keeping his angry eyes on Scott Taylor.

"Listen, son, Sage needs to go home…" the man spoke gently with what he probably believed to be empathy.

"That is not her home, and I won't let you take her back there!" Kendall was screaming now, forcing himself to stay at the bottom of the staircase and keep at least a yard of distance between his body and the door.

"What's going on?" young Katie asked loudly.

"Kendall, you need to start explaining-" his mother's features had gone fiercely stern.

"Wait, you're Kendall?" Scott Taylor asked and received a nod. "Officer Henderson asked me to inform you that, if you go anywhere near his house again, he'll be forced to file a restraining order against you. Now, just send Sage out, and you all can go back to sleep…"  
Kendall was absolutely livid. This guy was starting to sound exasperated as if they were inconveniencing him.

"You son of a bitch!" the boy was mere seconds from lunging at the man.

"Kendall..."

Everyone on the main floor froze, and Kendall immediately relaxed as he turned to look up at Sage. She was fully dressed now in jeans, sneakers, and a tank top, but she had also put on one of Kendall's plaid shirts and left it unbuttoned just to have something of his. She looked sad and a bit frightened, but, worst of all, she looked completely resigned to their defeat.

**Angst? Love? Family? Smut ;D Yup. It's all in PTS. A special thanks to waterwicca this week for helping me out a bit with this chapter, as well as so-complicated for her AMAZING reviews :) **

**And now, on with the story.**

**I don't own anything except for Stella, and other OC's.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-One: A New Page_

The bruise on her cheek had faded, but the hurt on her heart had not.

Stella knew she and Kendall had both screwed up beyond belief. She knew they were both fucked up horribly, and that nothing would change that.

She also knew that nothing would change the way she felt for Kendall Knight. This was serious. She knew she wasn't going to be able to forget about him, and go on living life as a "normal" runaway.

The attraction, desire, dependence and security were all way too strong. Stella needed Kendall Knight.

After she walked away from, she broke down, hysterically sobbing about five minutes from when his hand hit her face. She felt she deserved it all, and wasn't mad at him for his actions. She knew this was wrong, and that she should be angry with him, but she blamed herself. Her mind had been reverted back to the orphanage, and how she was beaten, and bruised to bloody pulp at times. Her tears came faster in regret, wondering how she could ever connect Kendall and those sick guards. She blamed herself for everything, and knew that she needed Kendall, and that he was in her life for a reason. She sat there in the snow, crying, warm tears falling down her cheeks juxtaposed with the horrid chill of the dirty snow underneath her. It was only by nightfall that she had gotten up, and started to make her way back to Main Street, where maybe she could get some kind of shelter for the night.

The only thing she had left of Kendall Knight was his blue cardigan.

And now, three days later, Stella couldn't stop thinking of Kendall. She wandered the streets of Thief River Falls, wishing he would come back home to her. She visited the house they had made love in, and even sat in the counter in the same position, hoping that she could feel him if she closed her eyes tight enough. She wanted Kendall's warmth that had been so abruptly pulled from her so many times.

Stella's heart felt like it had been beaten to a bloody pulp, and she knew that no matter what she did, if Kendall wasn't with her, it wasn't going to be fixed. She wanted nothing more than to fall into the arms that had protected her when no one else had, and stay in them forever. Feeling protected was something she wasn't used to, but something she felt she could never live without again.

Stella sat on the bench of a bus stop, Kendall's cardigan around her shoulders, her entire body shivering. It was sleeting out in Thief River Falls tonight, and her wet hair was matted to her face, her lips nearly blue. Tears fell down her cheeks, her face flushed, her arms clutching to her body, hoping to keep warm. '

Stella was absolutely miserable.

She closed her eyes, and tried to picture her life just a few months ago. She was living in a mansion, totally alone. No one knew of her, she had a job where she could get money, food and clothing. She had cold water to take a shower. She had heat when she needed it. And then Kendall Knight showed up, and took her on a whirlwind spin of passion, pleasure and protection. Now, she would never be the same again, and truthfully, Stella didn't regret it one bit.

There was no point to regretting the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Stella cried, the thoughts of Kendall sitting next to her, and stroking his thumb across the tight skin on the back of her hand like he had been doing just a week ago on their date, where he told her he loved her. It was all gone. Kendall wasn't sitting next to her, and who knew when she would see him again.

It was then, Stella's bright blue eyes got wide, and she wiped her tears away.

His address.

Stella quickly dipped her hand into her broken and tattered canvas bag, pulling out her blue sweater and resting it on the bench beside her, as well as some food she had taken and a few other things. Her hands shaking from the cold and wet, she reached in to the bottom of the bag, and grabbed a small little coin purse, in which she had gotten from her foster parents years ago. Stella quickly opened the tiny zipper, and dipped her index finger and thumb in it, pulling out a small little ripped piece of paper. She bit her lower lip, tears falling onto the small paper, and she smiled a bit, swallowing hard.

_Kendall Knight  
528 Granger Lane  
Duluth, Minnesota __55801_

It was written in his messy handwriting, with a inky blue pen. Stella smiled at how he crossed his t's and wrote his 5's, feeling his character and presence just through a measly little piece of writing. With nowhere else to go, she felt that the answer was staring her straight into the face. Kendall hadn't given up when she had given up, so why when the roles were reversed, should she even have a second thought?

Stella knew she had to see Kendall, and that no matter what the odds, it would work it. It was meant to be. Stella closed her eyes, holding the crinkled piece of paper in her hand, the rain pattering on the glass alcove she was in like a rhythm to a beautiful song . She would start her journey to Duluth in the morning. No matter how long it took to get there, or how hard it would be, she needed to go. She needed to let Kendall know that she wasn't going to let him go again. There was no chance in this equation.

She was going to see him. It was definite.

* * *

"Dude, what the _**fuck**_ just happened in there?" Carlos mustered up, from the back of the police car, his voice in complete awe at the events that had just unfolded. Kendall sighed and rolled his eyes annoyed at himself and his actions tonight, as the four boys squished in the back of the police car, very uncomfortably. The handle to the door was lodged in Carlos' arm, James and Kendall stuck in the middle, thighs tightly squished together, and heads nearly touching the ceiling of the car. Logan leaned as far against the window as he could, a frown on his pale face, his forehead sweating at what his mother would think about all of this.

"When you guys said you wanted to do something for my birthday this Friday, I didn't think it'd be hanging out in the **back of a cop car!**" Logan exclaimed out angrily, his voice stern but soft, eyebrows furrowed as he turned to his friends. Kendall frowned at him, and mouthed him a "sorry" across James' hung head. Logan sighed deeply and shook his head, trying to rearrange himself next to James in the uncomfortable, pleather seat. James, who looked down at his feet, embarrassed and annoyed sighed deeply, shaking his head.

"I can't believe…he said I was horrible. I'm **not** horrible. I'm gonna be famous!" James exclaimed, like he had just heard that Cuda had stopped making his hairspray. "I have to be famous!"

"Well Kendall told him off for you, James," Carlos joked with a snicker, as the police car rode through the streets of Duluth, the darkness beginning to fill the vast, open sky. "At least you didn't punch him, or slap him. Then we'd **really** be getting booked," Carlos said chuckling. Carlos was a bit more comfortable in the police car than any of the boys, seeing as he was used to being in one, due to his father. Officer Garcia had spent many nights taking small Carlos around in the back of the car, talking over the radio to amaze and surprise his son, and elicit a toothy smile from him. Carlos' father had switched precincts after the divorce, so his job was in the town he lived in, just about twenty minutes from Duluth. Carlos' hadn't recognized the two cops that had taken the boys into the police car anyway, but was incredibly light hearted about the whole situation that had just taken place.

"I'm sorry, Logie. I know this wasn't how you pictured your birthday," Kendall said disappointed in himself.

He and Logan had just begun to get back on their old friendship track, and then he had to go and screw up his best friend's birthday. The boys were planning on going to the diner for dinner, maybe shooting some hockey pucks around, and then staying over at Kendall's for the night. As much as Logan didn't want to leave his mother in this state, alone in the house, Kelly had encouraged Logan to be with his friends, seeing as that she needed some time to herself.

Logan sighed, squirming in his seat, James' leg pressed into his thigh uncomfortably. He looked away from the fast moving houses of Duluth and back at his friends with a smile that couldn't be mistaken for anything but sheer enjoyment and happiness.

"As much as I hate all of you for doing this to me when we were supposed to go out for a simple dinner tonight," he started off, as his face turned up into a smile and he let out a small chuckle, "it was pretty awesome seeing you jump on that table and sing your heart out," Logan smiled, warming Kendall's soul. A wave of relief came through Kendall and he chuckled, barely being able to move his arms in the small space, fixing his blue beanie on his head.

"I agree. That was sick, Kendall. Since when you do sing in front of people that aren't us? How did you even **know** that song, and all the notes to it?" Carlos asked enthusiastically, turning in his seat, trying to move his leg from the door handle penetrating it. Kendall shrugged his shoulders, his face blushing a bit from embarrassment of Carlos' comment. How exactly was he supposed to say that he had sung that song millions of times when he figured out that it only used two main chords on guitar when he was first starting out? It wasn't like "Girl to my Heart" was a _horrible_ song, but definitely **not** something that a sixteen year old boy should know all the words, beats, and pitches to.

"I guess from a long time ago, I don't really know," he mumbled, shrugging it off. James looked up at Kendall and sighed, his face in very close proximity to his blonde counterpart's, as the cop car took a nasty right turn, the boys sliding across the pleather, Logan holding on for dear life to the door handle.

"How did you even really know who Gustavo Rocque really was?" James asked confused, staring into Kendall's eyes lost and confused. Kendall raised an eyebrow as James sighed rolling his eyes. "I mean of course I knew who he was because I have looked over music producers that are good to be contacts with in Los Angeles, but—he was popular when we were like six, dude. How'd you even know all about this nationwide search for the next pop star?" he exclaimed, demanding to know. Logan sighed deeply, remembering the crowd that had hoarded him in Los Angeles.

"Me and Kendall saw him in Los Angeles when we went. I guess he didn't find anyone there," Logan said, as James looked back at him.

"Or here," Carlos scoffed with a chuckle. James sighed loudly, obviously somewhat affected by this whole night of events.

"Why'd he say I was bad though? I mean, you guys think I sing good, right? Everyone else thinks I sing well. And I have **amazing** hair, I mean, what else could he want from me?" James exclaimed, contemplating his entire life before his best friends' eyes. Kendall chuckled a bit, placing his hand awkwardly on James' shoulder as the police car came to a halt in front of Kendall's house, the blue and red sirens reflecting on the windows of neighboring abodes.

"We all think you're amazing, James. Who cares what that fatso producer says? He hasn't had a hit in ten years!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Actually, nine," Logan chimed in.

"Not helping, Logan," Kendall spoke with a raise eyebrow and sarcastic smile.

"Duly noted," Logan spoke robotically with a small half-smile. The two young policemen shut the car off, the motor stopping as they exited the front seat.

"Now, Kendall's mom is going kill us, so a singing career wouldn't have helped anyway James," Carlos added in, his voice quite chipper for the situation. James sighed and Kendall squeezed his shoulder reassuringly with a smile.

"Don't worry, buddy. Your big break will come. And at least you got to see me get angry and not punch anyone in the nose," Kendall joked lightheartedly. James chuckled and gave Kendall a half smile, as the two doors in the back of the police car were opened.

"Alright, boys. We'll walk you to the door and let your mom know that everything's alright, and that you were just being idiots," the younger one of the two said with a chuckled. The boys agreed and all nodded, as the two police officers brought them to the front door.

The four boys walked with slow steps, awaiting their scolding from Mrs. Knight readily and comically. However, as they approached the front door, neither James, Carlos, Kendall or Logan were expecting what would happen in the next twenty four hours. It would change all of their lives, and their friendship dramatically, testing the strengths of their bonds even more than they had been worked the past few weeks. Luckily, the boys each faced the door with bright, forgiving smiles, the static of police radio behind them, as they unknowingly began the next unexpected step of their lives.

* * *

Kendall sat at his kitchen table late that night, clad in wool pajama pants and a white t-shirt, with a cup of hot cocoa in his right hand, his left hand slowly turning the pages of an old picture album. There was **no way** he was going to be able to sleep after what had just happened today. His mind was on a whirlwind, and he couldn't even as much as think straight to make a simple cup of hot chocolate. It had taken him nearly ten minutes to put the water to a boil, and make the mixture of powder and milk.

Sitting with the kitchen light on, flipping through old pictures brought small smiles and frowns to Kendall's face. Gripping the blue mug tightly, Kendall slid his feet against the floor nervously, turning each laminated page in the album slowly, taking in all of the faces, places and colors associated with each photograph. He slowly took a sip from his mug, letting the warm drink pass through his pink lips, his green eyes locked on one of the four pictures in front of him. A smile instantly came to his face, as the pads of his fingers lightly traced over it.

It was of Kendall, baby Katie, and Kris, in the hospital room just hours after Katie was born. Kendall remembered the day so well. It was a school day, and Logan's mother had picked the boys up from school, and brought them back to Logan's house with no explanations unto where Kendall's parents were. It was only by the time that they sky turned dark, that Kris came to pick Kendall up and bring him to the hospital to see his new baby sister.

Kendall was missing two front teeth in the photo, and smiling as he cheesed at the camera, Katie all wrinkled and pink, wrapped in a pink blanket in the small boy's arms. Kris was leaning next to him on his knee, one hand on Kendall's tiny back as they looked up at Kendall's grandmother taking the picture, smiling with identical expressions. His green eyes were lost in his father's smiling gaze, not even noticing that his mother had walked into the room.

"Kendall?" she spoke softly. Kendall immediately looked up at his mother surprised to see her down here this late. It was already 2 am the next morning, and after staying up until twelve to wish Logan a happy birthday, and making sure he was still alive after his little stint from the cops, Kendall could in no way, shape or form get anywhere near sleep.

"Hey, mom," Kendall spoke out softly and non-chalantly, acting as if he was just measly sitting down at the breakfast table taking part in some blueberry waffles and a glass of orange juice. Kim rubbed her eyes of the last trails of sleep, and walked over to him, her bare feet sounding against the cold tile of the floor. Kendall apparently wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. Kim looked at her son with a raised eyebrow, taking the seat next to him and peering into his cup.

"What did I tell you about hot chocolate after 9:30?" Kim asked her son with a joking, raspy voice. Kendall sighed and looked in the cup, and then back up at his mom.

"I'm sixteen, mom. I think I can decide drinks for myself," Kendall spoke out with a sly smile, taking a sip from the mug and placing it back down, his eyes going back to the photo album. Kim ran her hands through her red, wavy hair and sighed, resting her chin on her hand, held up by her elbow as her blue eyes darted to the photo album she and Kris had put together for the family so many years ago.

"You look at that a lot, baby?" Kim asked, her hand going to Kendall's on the mug, letting her soft warmth envelope his body. Kendall shrugged.

"From time to time." Kim smiled at her son, watching at how his father's green eyes travelled over the pages, his rough fingers smoothing out the plastic laminate over it. Kim sighed deeply and smiled at her son, knowing he probably had ten thousand things going through his mind.

"We should talk about this whole thing, Kendall. You should really give it some thought," Kim spoke out softly, as Kendall brought his head up to hers. Kendall looked at her with a polite smile, sighing deeply.

"There is nothing to talk about, mom. There is no way that I could ever make it in Hollywood with my mediocre voice, and there is no way I'd ever uproot you, and Katie from Minnesota, and there is no way I'd ever leave my friends behind, nevertheless my hockey career," Kendall started nervously blathering, his voice getting weaker and more nervous.

"First of all, you're voice is **far** from mediocre, Kendall. I've heard you sing, even though you have some silly notion that Katie and I don't know about your voice," Kim said, causing Kendall's face to turn red out of surprising embarrassment. "And you need to take this seriously, baby. This producer went all over the nation to find someone to make famous…and he picked **you**," Kim said in an easy voice, making sure Kendall understood her every word.

The blonde sighed deeply. "I know, I get it, but it just seems to unrealistic to me. I mean, I can barely sing in front of my friends, and now this fatso mega nineties producer wants me to travel with him to California for three months, to see if I'll make it or not? I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna leave my friends, and my family," Kendall spoke out, his eyes down directing to the picture of his father and him. Kendall sighed and shook his head, his hands going to his bangs and running his fingers through his hair. "Why'd he even pick me?" he exclaimed frustrated, sarcastically chuckling.

Kim smiled smugly at her son and raised an eyebrow. "Well, why do you think he picked you?" Kendall looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes not leaving hers.

"He said I had the fire, or something like that," Kendall spoke unsure of what was coming from his mouth. Kim smiled at him and chuckled.

"His fire, is what you call passion, Kendall. You are such a passionate person in everything you do," Kim spoke. Kendall stared into her mother's eyes, and knew she was right. This was an opportunity that came once in a life time, especially someone from a small suburban town in Duluth, Minnesota. His mind wandered off, and he wondered what his father would say about this, what Stella would say.

It was then he realized that they were both gone out of his life one way or another. He remembered how his dad would tell him he could be famous singer and songwriter one day, and how Stella told him that she loved his voice and wanted to hear it. He imagined his voice travelling through the radio to sweet Stella's ears, and Kendall's eyes began to tear up a bit.

He'd been trying so hard to just forget about her the past few days, not even thinking about her much, investing all his time lost with Logan, Carlos and James. But now, here it was, creeping up on him again like a unexpected snow storm. He had felt the bitter cold, and seen the cloudy sky, but only now were the flakes beginning to fall down, and bury him alive.

Kendall hadn't told his mother Stella was up in Thief River Falls, explicitly because she hadn't asked about it, seeing as she had figured if anything Kendall would bring it up to her. Kendall hadn't told his mother how everything in his life just seemed to weigh him down at this point, and only now was the boy starting to feel it. He still missed his father, his anger problems were no longer in check, God knows if he would ever see Stella again and now he was getting some offer to move halfway across the country at a shot in the dark to be famous? Kendall's life hadn't made sense in a long time, and while the boy should've been used to it, all the chaos, emotions and up and downs were wearing him out. Kendall was spacing out as thoughts encircled his mind like a never ending track of train, his mind starting fizz out as Kim broke him out of his trance.

"Kendall?" she asked softly.

Kendall stared blankly ahead, turning his head to hers with a horrified, weak expression spread across his face. Kim saw in his eyes that something was plaguing his thoughts, more than just this Gustavo business, and more than just the death of his father. It was something that Kim could tell had been haunting him just by the expression on his sullen, upset face.

"Baby, what else is bothering you? I know there is something else," Kim declared caringly, making sure Kendall felt open enough to tell her. He knew he should tell her about Stella, and everything that had happened between them, but it just made him look so bad. He had hit a girl, the girl he promised never to hurt, and the girl who had been slapped, kicked and beaten when she was in an orphanage. Him hitting her was like taking back everything Kendall had ever said about loving her, and he thought about it every minute of every day since his hand had touched her cheek.

He couldn't keep it all inside anymore.

"Mom, Stella was up in Thief River Falls, and we got into an argument, and—and I got so angry that I hit her, and I-I don't…" he started to say, biting his lower lip white, his breaths coming heavier. There was silence as Kim furrowed her eyebrows a bit angry at her son for what she had just told him. She had raised Kendall to always respect women, and to treat them with the utmost care. "I just, I don't know why I laid a hand on her, and I don't—I don't know why I am still so messed up, mom. Why am I still messed up?" Kendall asked her, his voice stoic and laced with no emotion. Kim looked at her son and sighed deeply, touching his hand gently. Kendall hadn't been to therapy since before he'd left for Thief River Falls, and truthfully, Kim didn't see it helping very much, especially after Kendall's latest revelation. Kim knew that her husband's death had affected her son, but she had no idea the magnitude.

"She was up there, and you_ hit_ her, Kendall?" Kim asked appalled, her voice getting caught in her throat. She couldn't believe her son would **ever** hit a woman, even if he _was_ angry. Kendall looked at his mother and swallowed hard. "You hit a girl because of a silly argument?"

Kendall nodded, his lips thinning and his heart beating faster. He looked up at his mother, his green eyes filled with every ounce of sadness and regret Kendall had accumulated over the past few weeks. It seemed to weigh his eyes down considerably, creating thick bags that weren't there before, as the boy looked tired and defeated in every way possible.

"I'm sorry I did, I haven't stopped thinking of it since, and **everything** is a mess, mom. I just fixed things with the guys, and now I have this opportunity in front of me, and it just—it never stops! I can never be completely happy or without conflict anymore, and it gets me so frustrated," Kendall said, locking his eyes on the next page of the photo book, of him and his father holding Kendall's first place hockey trophy high in the air. "I need something stable, I need something to go right for once, instead of being torn into two people, two thoughts or two attitudes at one time. I've had enough of it! I just want things to go back to the way they were before dad died!" he exclaimed loudly, pushing his mug away from him disgustedly. "Why can't things just go back? I don't understand what made me so messed up," he yelled out loudly, his breathing heavy and his eyes flaring up. Kim was looking at her son with tired, upset eyes, as she brought his hand over his, trying her best to calm him down.

"I love you, Kendall. And I always will. And I know you are frustrated, and angry, and upset and a whole mess of emotions right now, but what you need is your friends, and your family to help you. I know it's been a hard year, and believe me baby, it's been a hard year on all of us, but we're here for you all the way, and I know you've been a mess since your father died, and I—I've tried everything. I've tried looking up stuff on the internet, therapy, getting you to talk about it, but nothing seems to be working, sweetheart. I'm trying to help you the best I can," Kim said, her own voice starting to weaken, tears coming to her own eyes. "I feel like _such_ an incompetent mother knowing that nothing is working, and I hate seeing you so upset, baby," she squeaked out poised, as two fresh tears fell down her cheeks. Kendall **hated** seeing his mother cry, especially over something as silly as him.

Kendall looked up at his mother awed, feeling the pain of a mother's heart to his own. His heart began breaking with each bit of tears that fell from her eyes, down her flushed cheek, landing on her hand, right on her wedding and engagement ring which she wore every day. Kendall held his mother's hand tightly looking at her with shining green eyes. He took his hand and slowly wiped her tears, breathing slowly.

"I wanna start over. I wanna leave all of this in the past. My fights with the guys, the grief I have for dad, the love I have for Stella. I want it to all go away, so I don't have to hurt anymore," Kendall spoke out desperately. "I wanna be able to live happy, and enjoy myself without any strings attached. I wanna do something that is gonna make you, Katie and dad proud," he whispered with a small smile. Kim looked at him with a pained, twisted face. She nodded and sighed deeply, stroking Kendall's shaking hand with tender care, trying to take the pain from his body into hers.

"Well, maybe this opportunity is just what you need, Kendall," Kim said softly with a small smile, trying to quickly compose herself. Kendall sighed deeply, his face still confused. "I'm not saying that you should leave all your friends, and hockey behind to try to do this, but…you're never gonna get another chance like this again, baby, and I don't want you to be haunted with 'What If's?' your entire life." Kendall looked at her with a solemn, confused face . "If you want a new start, this could be it."

Kim spoke the truth, and Kendall knew it. While his singing had always been something that his dad and him enjoyed to do together, Kendall never thought that he would somehow have the opportunity to actually pursue it, nearly guaranteed. He had heard stories of people spending ten years trying to get into the music business, just to even get a demo out, and here, Kendall was being handed it on a silver plate. Kim sighed deeply, and looked in her son's eyes.

"I love you, Kenny, with every bone in my body," she started off, "and I am so proud of you for everything you have done, and you are definitely the best son in the world. And I know you are constantly thinking of others before yourself, but think of yourself this time, please? Just think about what you wanna turn down before you actually turn it down, alright?" Kim got closer to him and smiled reassuringly, connecting eyes with her son.

"I'm sorry that you got into an argument with Stella, Kendall. I'm sorry that you're being burdened by this love so young and naïve, but maybe never seeing her again is for the best," Kim whispered, trying to be cautious with her choice of words, knowing her son may get angry. She looked him in the eyes and sighed. "You're a passionate person, baby, and I've never seen you so passionate about someone in your entire life, besides your father," she chuckled out, earning a small smile from her son. "But like I told you, sometimes love is about letting the people you love go, because they'll be happier with someone else." Kendall nodded stoically at his mother, as she got up from her seat, and came over to him, resting her lips to his forehead, and letting them linger there, pushing his blonde bangs back. With a final small smile, Kim turned away from Kendall, and began walking out of the kitchen. "Don't stay up too much later," she whispered, as she exited the kitchen and was gone from Kendall's sight completely, leaving the conflicted boy at the dark kitchen table, all alone.

* * *

Logan, Carlos, James and Logan all sat in the Knight's living room, staring at Kendall. The boy rested his forearms on his thighs, hunched over on the couch, staring at the floor aimlessly. He had called the boys over for an emergency meeting, and seeing as it was Logan's birthday, Kendall had suggested that they do this quick, and easy so they could get to whatever Logan wanted to do, especially after last night's debacle.

"So what do you guys think about all of this?" Kendall asked his friends confusedly. Carlos was sitting relaxed on the couch, his legs spread out on the green plush cushion with his hand holding his head up. He was picking at the gold fringes of a floral pillow that he had fasted under his elbow. Carlos shrugged unknowingly, to which Kendall frowned upon. He had hoped that his friends would have some insight on this, seeing as this decision could possibly change his life. Carlos straightened himself up on the couch to be more alert to Kendall's words and he smiled.

"You know that I think you have an amazing voice, K-dawg. And I mean out of **all** the people in the nation, _the_ Gustavo Rocque picked you! I mean, that's gotta mean something," Carlos said chuckling as Kendall sighed, running his bangs through his hair. Logan agreed silently, as did James, who had been a bit standoffish to Kendall since all of this had broken last night.

"Yeah, but I was probably a last resort anyway, Carlitos. I really don't think it's me that Gustavo wants, it's just my passion. I'm not a pop star, I don't have people write my music for me, and have techno dance tracks. And I can't dance," Kendall said nervously, looking around for the comforting eyes of Logan. Finding them to his left, Kendall smiled as Logan's dark brown eyes flickered up with specs of gold, showcasing his caring feeling towards his best friend. Kendall watched Logan's eyebrows furrow a bit, something they always did when he was thinking hard, or making an argument.

"Yeah, but the passion _**is**_ you, Kendall. You are the only one that has "the fire" or whatever he calls it," Logan said attentively, with a warm smile gracing the end of his words. Kendall sighed deeply and bit his lower lip conflicted. "He **does** want you."

Kendall's eyes then went to James' and immediately his stomach dropped. He saw the look of jealously, and upset in James' eyes, sitting curled up against the couch Carlos laid on, trying his hardest to keep a smile on his face. Kendall felt horrible. He knew this was James' dream, and he understood how hard James worked to try to get any exposure into the movie/music/television world, and how he had failed many times, only being good enough for school plays…and not good enough for Gustavo Rocque.

"You haven't said much, James," Kendall spoke softly. James looked at Kendall and bit his lower lip, trying to calm himself down. He was angry, but for the opposite reason you would think. James wasn't angry that Kendall had gotten this chance, and he hadn't. Jealous, yes, but angry no. James was angry that Kendall was considering throwing this whole opportunity away, and never even taking the chance that he would do **anything **to take.

James remained quiet as Kendall sighed even more miserably, looking at the boy with furrowed upset eyebrows. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't know that me singing his stupid nineties song was going to make him pick me, alright?" Kendall said with a hint of anger, and attitude in his voice. James looked at Kendall with alive eyes, his true anger starting to rise up in him. If he was going to convince Kendall to go out there and make his dreams come true, he was going to have to do it with tough love. He wouldn't let his best friend pass up something he could enjoy doing, because he had second thoughts.

"You really think I'm that shallow to be mad about **that**? The fact that _you_ got picked and I didn't?" James exclaimed, allowing his arms to be extended in righteousness. It was then Kendall realized how stupid that sounded, and that while jealousy was a typical emotion, James wasn't really all too much the jealous type. Kendall retreated a bit, still sitting across the coffee table from James who scoffed, and flicked his hair back with enthusiasm. "The reason I'm angry, is because you can't see how good you are, Kendall! You don't understand what it means to be picked by _the_ Gustavo Rocque, okay? How could you even second guess this? It's fame, fortune, and everything else anybody could want!"

"That might be your dream, James, but it's not mine," Kendall spoke out instantly. James sighed and tilted his head back sighing with frustration. His eyes then locked on Kendall again and he shook his head.

"No, it's not. But I **know** that you love to sing, and play guitar. Share your voice with the rest of the world, Kendall! Do something you love, please? You gotta call that guy back, dude. Don't let this slip through your fingers," he begged. "Think of how proud your dad would be," James spoke out softly, as Kendall's mind immediately soaked in his father's memory.

"_Dad what could be so big that you had to hide in the garage?" Kendall asked curiously, sitting in the kitchen with a smirk on his face. Kris was in the connecting garage next door, rustling through some boxes to get to Kendall's present. "It's not a car, is it?" he added on, raising an eyebrow with an excited chuckle._

"_I love you bud, but it's not a car," Kris joked from the other room, his voice distant and jolly. _

_Kendall sighed impatiently, drumming his fingers on the white table, his long bangs hanging over his eyes. Kendall stared at the open garage door, and watched as the light went off, and his father's footsteps neared the linoleum tile of the kitchen. It was an oddly shaped, polygonal box wrapped in blue striped wrapping paper, with a large blue, shiny ribbon on the top. Kendall pushed himself back from the table and got up with a smirk, his dimples prominent, as his father pushed the box towards him. _

_Kendall looked up at his father and chuckled. "What could this possibly be?" he asked him. Kris shrugged and tapped the box lightly, with a crooked smile. _

"_Well, you gotta open it to find out, don't you?" Kris said. Kendall nodded excitedly, and ripped the bow off the present, tearing the blue paper a bit. He looked up at his father once more, before taking both hands and ripping the wrapping off, revealing a orange-brown box, with a picture of a guitar on it. Kendall's green eyes went wide as he looked up at his father with excited eyes, and laughed out, absolutely stunned at his present._

"_No freaking way!" Kendall exclaimed, taking the last of the wrapping off, examining the box with a beautiful picture of a wood guitar on the front. Kendall wasted no time in picking up the box, and letting it sit on the table, eagerly opening the taped side. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands down the smooth neck of his own guitar, and make it his own music machine. He had been using his father's old one for their lessons, which Kris has started a week or two ago, and when Kendall had asked for one of his own, Kris and Kim had told him that they couldn't afford it right now. Kendall had to admit he was upset, but he understood, and to be honest, his dad's old guitar wasn't in bad shape._

_Kendall took the guitar from the box, and eagerly adjusted the strap as Kris looked on dumbfounded. He had expected Kendall to be excited, but since laying his eyes on just the box, the boy had been absolutely intoxicated by the instrument. With shaking hands, Kendall, not even bothering to tune it, took the guitar and slung it around his neck, not even bothering the adjust the strap, the guitar hanging high, only a few inches from his neck. The boy eagerly made the shape of a C chord and with his finger, and strummed the out of tune strings, making the most horrific, but yet beautiful sound either Kendall or Kris had ever heard. Both father and son smiled, their eyes not connected._

"_I guess…you like it then?" Kris asked with a chuckle. Kendall's eyes were at his left hand as he tried to finger a G chord, and then struck the vibrating strings again, still out of tune. He looked up at his father with shining green eyes, full of wonders and dreams, in his own hands now._

"_I love it, dad. Thank you so much," Kendall said ecstatic, pushing the guitar behind him, still around his neck, as he took no shame in hugging his father tightly. Kris was taken by surprise, seeing as how Kendall hadn't hugged his father like this in a while, Kendall fearing he was too old now that he was in high school. Kris chuckled and smiled in the hug, hitting his son's back twice, as they both parted, smiling from the tender moment._

"_Oh man, I can't wait to use it. Can we practice now?" Kendall asked eagerly, swinging the guitar back around and putting his hands to work again. _

"_Sure," Kris said, sighing at the sight of his son and his guitar. "Just remember, that when you are a famous musician someday, you remember who bought you your first guitar, and who taught you how to play," Kris joked, giving Kendall a playful punch in the arm. Kendall looked up at his father with a smile as wide as could be, his dimples in full force his eyes sparkling at the matching pair they looked up at._

"_How could I ever forget, dad?"_

Kendall was brought back to life with Logan's sharp voice.

"Kendall!" Logan said, trying to alert the boy who was obviously off in his own world back to life. Kendall shook his head of the thoughts, and his attention went back to his friends, and James' previous statement. James was right, in that Kendall had always loved music, and that his father was indeed incredibly supportive of his music career.

Kendall swallowed hard and looked all around at his friends, his heart thumping in his chest rapidly. He could want this, if he tried hard enough. But did he want to leave everyone behind? He had just made amends with all the boys, and he wanted everything to be started over in his life. He wanted to put the grief, and Stella behind him, but as much as he could try to do that in California, it would **never** be done without his three best friends.

"You guys, I can't leave you. I won't leave you," Kendall spoke out wearily, surveying his friend's sympathetic eyes with his own. He ground his knuckles into one another, then running one hand through his sleek blonde hair, sweeping his bangs back with a sigh.

"Oh, come on Kendall. That's a lame ass excuse," James spoke out, crossing his toned arms over one another, still sitting Indian style on the floor. "Don't you agree, Logan?" he said, shooting his direction to the short raven haired boy.

Logan nodded with a thin lower lip, his dimples decorating his cheeks with an amiable but powerful expression geared towards his blonde best friend. Kendall smiled a bit and his eyes drifted to Carlos who was sitting up on the couch, staring into Kendall's eyes. Unsure what to do, Carlos just nodded eagerly, eliciting a chuckle from all four of the boys.

"It's not a lame ass excuse. You guys are my family. And I mean—we've been through some crazy shit this year and—" Kendall said, but James interrupted with a scoff and chuckle, playful but serious.

"We? Try **you**, Kendall," James joked out. Kendall rolled his eyes and sighed, Logan sighing a bit uncomfortable at the conversation, due to his own crazy shit that was going on with his father. He closed his eyes for a minute, praying that Kendall wouldn't bring anything up about his father. Not today, **not** on his sixteenth birthday.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm still a mess, and I…I wanna try to get better, I want a fresh start," Kendall spoke out nervously, looking down at his Vans. Carlos finally chimed in, totally alert and attentive to the conversation.

"You can get a fresh start out in California, Kendall! No Stella, no memories, nothing like that. Think of the girls, the beach, the stars, the **girls**!" Carlos reiterated with a large smile and a hint of laughter, making the boys smile. Kendall sighed and swept his legs up onto the couch sitting back, and holding his head in pain, his point not getting across. "Think of what you can make of yourself out there man! You wouldn't have to stay in this crappy little Minnesota town anymore! You'd be out there, living the dream as a famous pop singer!" Carlos said, sitting more upright excitedly, bouncing a bit on the green cushions of the Knight's living room sofa.

"What have you got to lose?" Logan asked him incredulously, as Kendall sat up again, with wide eyes and a sarcastic smile. It was as if Logan didn't understand the magnitude of this decision whatsoever, and had **no** idea what Kendall was about to endure.

"What have I got to lose?" he exclaimed, furrowing his thick brows upset and confused. "What if it doesn't work out? My mom is uprooted from her job for three months, Katie is uprooted from her school for three months, I make up all the schoolwork I miss, I cut all the ties with my school friends, and **worst** of all," he said, taking a few deep breaths and looking at the guys from Logan, to James, to Carlos, "I lose my best friends," he said softly, his face sagging. James sighed deeply, looking at Logan and Carlos with a sad, determined face on. He moved closer, placing his hands on the glass coffee table, staring Kendall straight through the iris.

"Kendall, do you want this?" James asked. Kendall sighed and bit his lower lip, looking up to the ceiling, and mumbling.

"I'm—I don't know what I want, I mean, I just—" but he was cut off.

"Kendall, do **you** want this…even a little? Do you want this at **all**?" James asked him more seriously, Carlos and Logan staring their blonde friend down like he was the prized possession in an art gallery. Kendall sighed, looking in all of their eyes with a small smile gracing his lips.

"Yeah, I want it," he admitted nervously, swallowing hard after he spoke the words that he didn't even realize were passing through his lips as he said it. James, Carlos and Logan's faces all turned up into small, half-smiles, as James cupped Kendall's shoulder with an approving nod, telling him his words were indeed correct.

"Then go get it, buddy," he spoke out softly. Kendall looked at James, and was surprised by how much sense he was making. Please, think of yourself for once, Kendall," James said dearly, both Carlos and Logan nodding along with his statement. While lately, Kendall had been a bit selfish in the whole "Stella" department, he had made amends with his brothers absolutely. If anything, part of the reason Kendall was so unsure of this change, was _because _everything had just started going right between them again, ever since Kendall had returned from Thief River Falls the first time.

"I don't wanna do this without you guys," Kendall said with a soft chuckle, his clammy palms on his thighs, hitting them lightly, wiping the sweat from them. "I** need** you guys here, I mean, look what happened a week without you," Kendall said a bit sad. He had told the boys everything that had happened between him and Stella, and they did indeed feel sorry for him. However, it was a quick conversation, due to Kendall's absolute disdain for the subject, and his resolution to totally forget about her from this point on. He wanted to start new, in every aspect of the word, no matter how hard it would be.

The boys sat in silence, Carlos, Logan and James trying to do all they could to convince Kendall that this was an opportunity he should definitely take. Kendall's mind went crazy, going through all the situations he could be in if he **did** go, as one even _crazier_ idea began to form in his head. He looked at his friends who were all in deep thought, and his smile grew bigger, from looking at Carlos, to James, to Logan. Maybe he could have this chance **and** have his best friends.

"What if…what if we _all_ went to Hollywood?" Kendall asked them. James' eyes lit up instantly as if a light switch had been turned on in his brain, Logan's eyes became confused, and Carlos' eyes stayed the exact same size, full of fear.

"What—what are you talking about, Kendall?" Logan asked nervously, looking from the blonde to his other two friends wondering what was going to come out of their leaders mouth next. Kendall sat up on the couch, hitting his thighs with emphasis before standing completely up with a smile on his face.

"What if I told Gustavo that I'll only go if he makes us a singing **group**, no if, ands or buts?" Kendall said triumphantly with a grin, standing above all of his friends.

"Yes! Yes!" James exclaimed excitedly, jumping up out of his seat on the floor with a wide smile. "Yes that is perfect! A singing group! And that means when we break up in x amount of years, I can go solo!" he said. Logan just looked at James with a sigh, and the back at Kendall who was nodding his head excitedly.

"Uh, dude. Me and Carlitos can't sing, or dance," Logan chuckled out nervously, looking up at Kendall with a sad face on. Kendall looked over at Carlos who had been silent since Kendall's genius idea. "And he doesn't **want** a singing group, K-dawg. He wants you, and just you," he added with a pointed finger.

"Well he's not **getting** me without you guys, and that's my decision. And Carlos has Latino blood. He sure as hell can dance," Kendall said, shooting a look at Carlos who instantly smiled, and shrugged kind of embarrassed. "_And_ they can teach you everything, Logie. Come on, we _all_ took choir freshmen year," he added.

"Kendall, Jenny Tinkler took choir freshmen year…they let _anyone_ in that class in ninth grade," Logan spoke out. He had only taken the class due to his lack of artistic skills, choosing a music requirement over an art requirement. Kendall sighed at Logan's factual response and rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, man. Think of how awesome this could be. All of us in California, singing, dancing, and getting famous…_together. _Like the way it **should** be," the blonde reiterated, pacing back and forth between his friends who all looked up at him like he was crazy, except James of course.

"Kendall, I can't just drop everything for a singing career, when that's not what I planned," Logan said like he was crazy. "I have med school, and SAT's to take, and I have to start looking at colleges, and making my pros and cons lists," Logan rambled, his eyes growing wide at his never ending list. Kendall looked at him with wide eyes and raised his eyebrows with his lower lip sticking out a bit. Logan's words were exactly what he had yelled at Kendall for just seconds earlier.

"Uh, care to say that first thing again, a bit slower?" Kendall asked smugly.

"I _said_ I can't just drop everything for a singing career…when…that's…not…what…_I planned_," Logan repeated softly, his smile coming into play around the word "when". He sighed deeply and Kendall crossed his arms with a victorious grin plastered across his face, winning over Logan's battle. Logan knew he had been defeated by Kendall's wit, and felt instantly stupid for what he had said to him. Carlos sat up with a bright smile on his face, his mind already made up by the looks on Kendall's and James' faces.

"Well, I guess I'm down, seeing as my only career choice was a superhero. This sounds _way_ better," Carlos exclaimed lively from the couch, with a smile on his face, standing up alongside James and Kendall. James smiled and nodded at Kendall, the blonde not needing an answer from his friend. All three pairs of eyes barreled down at Logan painstakingly, the smart boy's breathing a bit heavier and his mind in a whirlwind.

"The only way I'm going is if you come with, Logie, that's the deal," Kendall declared with a signature Knight grin, sticking his hands in his pockets casually, as James and Carlos each put an arm around the tall boy. Logan sighed, and pushed himself up the floor, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"You guys are **fucking** idiots…" Logan started off with a furrowed brow and bright eyes, "but you're _**my**_fucking idiots." Kendall, James and Carlos all smiled as Logan put an arm around Carlos, looking back at Kendall, and James with a wide smile across his once sullen face.

"So it's agreed, all for one, and one for all?" Kendall asked his best friends in an excited tone of voice, his heart beating fast of the excitement of what just happened. James nodded, Carlos following, and all eyes went to an unsure Logan. His head finally nodded as well, a bright, cheery, excited smile easily transitioning onto his face, wiping uncertainty away with his friend's animated stares, and natural expressions of happiness. Logan sighed deeply, living in the moment as good as anyone else.

"If I agree, can we _please_ go get something to eat for my birthday you jackasses? I'm starving," he asked.

Kendall, James, and Carlos all nodded as they exchanged looks of unwavering confidence and true happiness, looking forward to the uncertain, but rewarding road ahead of them.


	22. Lessons Learned

**A/N: This chapter is a bit on the shorter side, but I feel like you all are really going to enjoy it :D This basically wraps up the second part of the story, and really begins to close some big plot lines for James, Carlos and Logan. **

**And of course, here is a wonderful snippet from waterwicca, from Past The Sorrow :D Which you all have to read!**

Kendall waited anxiously outside of the high school on the main sidewalk, looking from left to right every other second. The bell for first period had rung twenty minutes earlier, but he wasn't giving up. He would wait for her all day if he had to…

He wanted to go find Sage, even if it meant going to her house, but his mother made him promise not to do it. Karen had told him it was okay for Sage to be at their home whenever she could, even through the night, as long as Kendall's door stayed open. However, she wouldn't let her son go anywhere near the Henderson's house after Officer Taylor's threat of a restraining order.

Kendall's neck started to hurt, but he kept looking from side to side, mentally willing Sage to show up. Even though she was late, he had to believe she would come to school. She new that's where he'd be, and Elliot would be stupid to cause suspicion and not let her go.

"Sage," Kendall breathed her name shakily as she finally rounded the corner.

The blonde girl approached him, her pace substantially slower than normal. She was favoring one side of her body and limping so slightly that, if you weren't looking carefully, you would have missed it. Kendall sprinted to close the gap between them. Once he was right in front of her, he could tell she was wearing makeup, and he knew she had bruises without even being able to see them. Tears flowed from both of their eyes as they stared at one another. He wanted to hold her, but he thought he would hurt her battered body more.

"Kendall…" she cried and whispered his name, taking the initiative by launching herself into his strong arms.

He didn't hesitate to hold her once he felt Sage against him. She winced as his body slid against her ribs, but she only squeezed him tighter and ignored the pain because she needed Kendall so much more than relief.

"It's going to be alright, baby. Everything is going to be okay…" Kendall reassured her sweetly, both of them crying freely.

He didn't know if it was a false promise or not, but Kendall was going to do anything humanly possible to keep it.

**Yup, you know you want to read, so why not just do it?**

**It'd make my life if you all read and ****reviewed.** **We are more than halfway done, and I'd really LOVE to break 500 reviews :D It's make my life!**

**I don't own anything except for Stella, and other OC'S.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Two: Lessons Learned_

James sat at the dinner table with his family, and everything was oddly quiet, something the Diamond family dinner table _**never**_ was. He hadn't noticed how sad, and worried his parents were since the news broke out nearly a three days ago. After a long discussion with James, and Kim, Lucie and Jason had decided that James was allowed to go to Hollywood with Kendall and Kim.

James sat there, slowly and aimlessly stirring his French onion soup, looking up at his parents' worried eyes. He had never seen his mother so quiet, and concerned in his entire life, and his father seemed irked by the whole situation, even though both were truly supportive of his dreams, like they always had been.

James also figured it was quiet, seeing as tonight was his last night home. He was all packed to leave for California in the morning. He had spent all day home from school, as had the other boys, packing away the better part of his life into endless amounts of duffels. Seeing as after the three months, if this all worked out, James would come back to Minnesota to get the rest of his belongings; he only needed a small portion of them now. Lucie had been all cheery and helpful, even enthusing James about the whole trip even more as they packed, but after they were done, and Lucie stared around her son's almost empty room with a sad demeanor, the clutch on James' shoulder getting tighter with each second.

"Why are you guys so quiet? It's kind of freaking me out," James chuckled out, his eyes going from his mother's face, to his father's. Lucie smiled at her son and shook her head, biting her brightly glossed lower lip, her eyes watering up with a bit of tears.

"It's your last night home, _brune. _We are just a little sad, that is all," Lucie spoke sweetly, swallowing hard and smiling at Jason, who gripped her hand tightly. Jason nodded affirmatively, adjusting his thick black glasses awkwardly, smiling at James.

"We are proud of you, James. We want you to live your dream, it's just that we are going to miss you very much," Jason said stately with a small half-smile. James looked up at his parents very confused. I mean he figured they were going to miss him, but to see them both so sullen when they were always kissing, and hugging and laughing with each other made James feel relatively uncomfortable.

"Well, I'll miss you guys too," James said with a half-smile, scraping his spoon against his bowl, trying to somehow fill the awkward silence that hung in the large dining room, bouncing off every painting, plant or chair that decorated the light blue walls. "A lot."

James sighed looking down, running a hand through his hair nervously. He never had really taken into consideration how much he was going to miss his family. He was going to miss seeing his father come home from work and shower his mother with kisses, and having dinner on the table right after he finished all his homework, or most of it anyhow. In that moment, a cold, bitter chill wiped over James' entire warm, excited body as his stomach did tumbles, and his mouth got dry. He had never felt so unsure about anything in that moment, as he did now, remembering all the little things that made his family truly his. It sickened James, and Lucie and Jason saw the turmoil explode in James' irises like blood in water.

"I'm—I'm not hungry," James said abruptly, immediately pushing himself from the table, pushing his chair back in and grabbing his half eaten bowl of soup. He hurriedly walked across the floor, his Converse squeaking on the wood paneling as he quickly made his way into the kitchen, his hands a bit shaky.

James truly had no idea what was coming over him in this moment, but suddenly, it was as if his mind was telling him "No. Don't go to Hollywood. Stay here." Putting his bowl and spoon in the titanium sink with a loud clash, James fearfully leaned against the granite countertop, crossing his arms over his rising and falling chest, his head hung, trying to clear his mind. He had wanted something like this for so long, and his parents were even fully supportive of it, something that James had never really appreciated. He breathed out slowly, trying to get the small voice in his head to tell him to keep his cool. The past few days, he had been noticing his parent's interactions more than ever, and with each passing moment, the realization he was leaving became more real, and the admiration for them became deeper.

James Diamond was **born** a star. His love of acting had begun from the time he could even talk, Lucie and Jason videotaping their young son who was always singing, laughing and smiling, whether he was three or thirteen. James first real experience in theater was in kindergarten, when he had gotten the quite prestigious, at the time, role of the tree, in which all the leaves fell under…leaves being other students of course. James' journey in theater continued throughout elementary school, and well into middle school, where he truly blossomed. He had joined the regular choir in sixth grade, and then had been allowed to join the chamber choir a year later, an honor only usually bestowed upon by eighth grade students. James' musical and theatrical talent had specifically shined the past two years, obtaining two lead roles as the Lion in the Wizard of Oz freshmen year, as well as Professor Harold Hill in this year's production of the Music Man. James put his entire heart and soul into his performances, and had been recognized by all of Duluth High as somewhat of a star in the making.

As he contemplated his past dreams, and decisions, James had never felt so vulnerable in his entire life. He had always expected stardom, fame and fortune to come somewhere down the road, but so suddenly? James had only turned sixteen months ago, and now here he was, getting shipped off to California, to possibly become one of the nation's hottest and most talented singing groups that this millennium had seen. While totally enthralled with the idea of living his dream, the second he had found out about it, his mind instantly went to the photo album he had looked at with his mother weeks back.

Love versus dreams.

An inner conflict James though he would never nearly even **touch** upon on his journey to the top.

It wasn't like James' love for his parents was going to keep him in Duluth, Minnesota his entire life. He had known that from the time that he was fourteen that he was going to leave eventually, whether it be a big break like this, or to go to a prestigious acting school on the west coast. However, what James wasn't expecting was doubt to sneak up on him, rudely distorting the vision that existed in his pretty little head the past ten years. He hadn't expected to feel this upset, or this guilty for following his dreams. It killed him.

"James?" Lucie asked softly, coming into the kitchen quite concerned. Her eyes locked on James, leaning against the counter, pushing his silky chestnut bangs back up onto the top of his head, his breathing deep and conscious. Lucie's heels clicked against the linoleum floor, making her way over to her son who looked more than confused. She gently reached out and touched his arm, causing James to look up right at her with a straight face on. "You okay, _brune_?" she asked him softly, smacking her perfectly pink glossed lips at the end of her words.

"I'm fine, I'm—I'm just gonna miss you guys, that's all," James said in an annoyed voice, scathing away from his mother's touch as if it were venomous, walking to the other side of the kitchen with a twisted face. He didn't want anyone to see his doubt, especially not his parents. If anyone ever found out that James' had even for a _**minute**_ second guessed his fame and fortune over his attachment to his family, well, it wouldn't be the James Diamond **they** had known.

"We'll miss you too, baby. Me and your father," Lucie spoke softly, turning on one heel, walking over to her son with a concerned look on her face. James sighed and sat down at the glass table in the kitchen, his eyes being bored in by the stark white walls, locked on the family portrait he stared at in front of him. He tapped his fingers on the table anxiously, and sighed. Lucie walked over to him slowly, and sat down next to him, immediately taking her hand in his with a small, sympathetic smile.

"Are you scared?" she asked. James looked at her quickly and scoffed a bit, immediately putting up his wall of defense which his mother had already broken through.

"I'm not scared. I'm excited," he shot back angrily, not looking his mother in the eyes. "I don't get scared, are you kidding?" he joked. Lucie smiled and nodded, James' front not even fooling the wise woman for a moment. She sighed and stroked his hand gently, knowing her son like the back of her hand.

"James, you are one of a kind, you always have been," Lucie chuckled out, James' eyes going back to her with a small smile at his mother's kind words. "But you can't expect yourself to be fearless, _brune. _It's not possible to have no fear," she said. James looked at her a bit disappointed at how she had figured him out, although he wasn't very surprised. He looked at her with an expressionless face, all his fear, angst and excitement twisting up into one big ball of emotion, about to finally be released.

"Everybody here loves me, ma. What if—what if it's nothing like that in Los Angeles?" he asked her, his voice tightening. James' eyes immediately got wide at the words that had been spoken from his mouth, beyond his control. Love. Did he really just say that? Since when did James Diamond care about love, and what people thought of him? He had always been the strong, sexy, player that walked through Duluth High's halls with a different girl on his arm each week. Never was James dependent on any sorta of love, whether it was between him and a girl, or between him and his parents. James stayed silent as he looked up at his mother clueless, and totally astonished at what he had said to her.

"I will always love you, and so will your father, remember that, baby," Lucie said affectionately, staring at her son's now unconfident, worried hazel eyes. James nodded and smiled, trying to regain any sort of strength within the conversation, but all was hopeless when with his mother. "And if I remember correctly, wasn't it you who told me that I should've gone after my own my dreams, instead of marrying dad, and having you?" she asked with a perfectly groomed eyebrow raising up with a smile. James chuckled and nodded, feeling foolish for his words, and how selfish he had been in that moment.

"I guess—I guess I never really realized, until it was in front of me," he said lowly, taking all responsibility for his former words. "I mean, I'm having all these doubts about leaving you and dad, and…and I can't even imagine what you felt like when you found out you were having me, and you had to choose," James admitted with an astonished chuckle.

Lucie nodded, leaned in and kissed her son's forehead, allowing her hand to cup his soft, tan skin gently. She pulled her lips away, making sure not to leave a gloss mark, with a smile. "You're growing up well, James. Don't stop, alright?"

James chuckled and sighed deeply, biting his lower lip with a small smile. "I won't, I promise, _maman,_" James whispered affectionately, causing Lucie's face to light up with the intensity of a thousand suns. James hadn't used that nickname for her in such a long while, perhaps even ten years. It was something that Lucie had taught her son to call her with joy, feeling that her true French culture should be somewhat expressed through her only child, besides the usual fashion and food of her native country. Bringing home French bread, and French loafers for James when Lucie visited her parents in France in the summer each year was something materialistic between the two of them, and nothing like the affectionate exchange of names between mother and son. Lucie had been calling James _brune_ since the moment she had laid eyes on him, and she wasn't about to stop just because he was sixteen.

"You haven't called me that in years, _brune,_" Lucie chuckled out, gently taking her hand and sweeping James' wispy brown bangs from his forehead, the boy not minding one bit of his mother's warmth towards him, in the last few hours he'd be at home.

"I figured it was appropriate," James chuckled out, looking up at his mother with bright eyes. Lucie sighed deeply, and looked at her son lovingly and longingly, soaking up every last minute of their time together before he went to live his dream.

"I'm proud of you, James. Me and your father both, and we believe in you three hundred percent," she smiled at him, the small wrinkles at the corner of her eyes turning up, as well as the ones by her mouth. "And we can't wait to see you succeed."

James took one last deep breath, about to get the last, aching thing off the bottom of his chest. "Mom, do you think…I'm wrong for going out there? And leaving my family here?" James asked. Lucie did nothing, but smile at her son's newfound appreciation for the decision she had made nearly seventeen years ago.

"You aren't me, James. I know you won't let love hold you back, even though it held me back. Having you, and marrying your father was the best thing for _**me**__._ Going to California is the best thing for _**you.**_ And don't ever think that you are doing the wrong thing by going out there," she said with a smile. "But it makes me so happy, that now, you can understand my choice," she spoke.

James looked at her a bit confused, his hand playing with the beautiful platinum of her wedding band and engagement ring. "Well your choice was a different kind of love," he told her adamantly, defending his position once again. Lucie shook her head no with wise eyes, and a smirking smile.

"Love is love, _brune. _That's all there is to it."

* * *

Carlos Garcia was one of those kids who just sorta floated through life.

While still academically smart, as well as very involved in school spirit and Student Council, Carlos really had no clue what he wanted to do when he got out of high school. Granted he had two years to make a decision, however, James knew he wanted to be famous, Logan had already been planning to make some road trips to colleges with pre-med programs in the summer, and Kendall was working towards a hockey scholarship.

Carlos however, just lived. He had no real plans for what he wanted to do in the future…well, until now.

Marta and Carlos were in his room, with two, large hockey duffels on the bed, as well as piles of folded clothes all over the room. It was nearly eight o' clock and Marta and Carlos had been packing since before dinner, taking a quick break to get some Chinese take-out around five.

When Carlos had proposed this whole idea of moving across the country to make a living, singing and dancing, he had figured she'd be totally skeptical of it, however, Marta was the complete opposite. Right from the start, she had been supportive. While it hadn't been Carlos' dream like it was James' or the big opportunity he had been given like Kendall, he was still completely enthusiastic about it, especially since it involved his three brothers. After talking it over with Peter, without any screaming or fighting, Marta had told Carlos he'd be allowed to go, after talking it over with Mrs. Knight of course. While her son was not a singer, he definitely had some Latino fire in his dance steps, and seeing as this was a three month trial could end up with Carlos either returning to her, or living out in California, making something of himself that he hadn't even expected. Carlos had been so good to Marta since the divorce, and to hold him back for herself, well, it just wasn't logical in her head.

"Where did you put all my new shorts?" Carlos asked his mother confusedly, looking around the room with wide, excited eyes.

"Right by your helmet, _mijo," _she said folding up a shirt, motioning her chin to the pillows of the bed. Carlos located the pile of denim and khaki shorts he had just bought, the tags still on, and gently placed them in the duffel next to his socks and boxers. The boy sighed, as his eyes scanned the bed, looking at the swimsuits, sweatshirts, short-sleeved shirts and everything else he had to pack for this excursion. To say that Carlos was nervous wouldn't really justify his feelings. He was of course nervous, but more excited than anything. He had never really figured out what to do with his life, and whether he felt like this was fate, or just a push in the right direction, Carlos was definitely taking it, no questions asked. In fear of somehow forgetting it, Carlos immediately put his helmet in his bag, his hands touching the smooth plastic on the outside of it, his reflection staring back at him in the black plastic.

"Getting' excited?" Marta asked her son with a smile, folding yet another shirt. Carlos chuckled bashfully and looked up at his mom shrugging.

"I guess," he trailed off. Marta's brow furrowed and she looked at Carlos confused, setting down the purple polo with the other folded shirts.

"You guess?" Marta asked surprised with a small laugh. Carlos sighed, and went over to his mother who sat on his bed, and he sat beside her with a small smile, looking into her eyes deeply.

"I'm just gonna miss you, that's all," Carlos said with a sympathetic grin. Marta smiled and sighed loudly, a closed lipped smile on her tan face. Of course Carlos was going to miss her.

"Oh_ mijo,_ I will miss you too," she chuckled, immediately wrapping her arms around her only son, and kissing his temple. Carlos snuggled into his mother a bit more and she sighed. "But this is a great opportunity for you Carlos, and you need to go after what you are dreaming of, don't let me hold you back," Marta said. Carlos nodded in agreeance, trying his hardest not to let emotions get the best of him, preparing himself for the long road ahead.

"I know," he said softly, as Marta released him and looked in his eyes.

"And I'm very proud of you for doing this," she added on. Carlos sighed and rolled his eyes, hearing that come out of his mother's mouth more than a hundred times since she had first told him.

"Yes, mom, I know," he dragged on, getting up from his seat on the bed, and walking around to finish packing. Marta continued folding a shirt, as the doorbell of the house rang with a chortling "ding dong". Carlos looked up in the direction of the door, and his face was furrowed.

"Who is that?" Carlos asked his mom, totally confused. Marta smiled simply, and said nothing as she got up from the bed, and walked out of the room. Carlos, who became increasingly suspicious, followed her out of the room, a pair of shorts still in his hand. He watched as his mother opened the door, and she smiled at the person who was on the other side. Carlos stepped out into the living room, and saw his mother politely nod and open the door wider, allowing the person to come into his house.

"Thank you, Marta," he heard a voice say. But not just any voice. His father's voice. Marta closed the door behind his father, and Carlos looked up just a few feet away from him, in total confusion and awe.

Peter Garcia stood about 6'0'', with dark, short black hair, dark Spanish skin, and a bit of stubble on his slightly wrinkled face. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, and he had a bright orange sweater on, with a white wifebeater on underneath. Carlos wasn't scared, or nervous. Just surprised. The last time his father was here, a nasty fight had ensued between Marta and Peter, one that brought back all of Carlos' horrible memories.

"Hey, Carlitos," Peter said a bit awkwardly, clearing his throat. Carlos smiled a bit at his dad's friendly demeanor and crinkled the freshly ironed shirt in his hands out of a small anxiousness he was feeling.

"Hey dad," he said, taking a few more steps toward him, as Marta looked on with a small smile, but a bit of concern soaked up into her beautiful brown eyes and soft pink lips.

"I'm gonna go finish up what I was packing, _mijo,_" Marta spoke out softly, coming over to Carlos. She smiled and gently kissed his head, whispering a light, relaxing comment in his ear, before slipping away down the hallway, back to Carlos' room. Peter smiled at his son, proud as could be.

"Uh, do you want something to drink, dad?" Carlos asked confused, wondering how he should go about the interaction.

"No, it's okay, I'm fine," Peter said softly. Carlos nodded and swallowed hard, looking at the shirt in his hands. He never understood why talking to his father always started off so hard. It wasn't like he hated his father, he never could. Even during the February break, when Carlos was spending a few days with him, it never ended bad, it just started off bad. Every time Carlos first saw Peter, he imagined him angry, and yelling at him and his mother. It hurt the boy that he thought of the man he used to be so infatuated with could ever be looked at that way, but it was what happened, and Carlos didn't have a choice. He figured his father was here to say good-bye to him, and was wondering what was escalate during their talk.

"I guess you-uh, came to say good-bye?" Carlos asked him awkwardly, throwing the now totally wrinkled shirt over to the couch to the left of him. Peter chuckled and took another step towards him, nodding.

"Well you didn't think I was gonna let my boy leave for LA without me saying good-bye, did you?" Peter chuckled. Carlos smiled bashfully, and slowly walked over to the couch, motioning for Peter to follow him. Carlos sat down on the sofa and sighed as Peter sat next to him with a similar sigh, both catching the similarity and laughing quietly. Peter sighed and sat upright, turning his body to look at his son.

"Sorry I haven't really called lately, Carlos. Work has been busy," Peter said, immediately feeling guilty in his son's impeccable presence. Carlos nodded, looking down. It was true, Peter hadn't really called him in a while, and Carlos had started to notice. But he knew that his father worked crazy hours, and that he had a crazy job. Carlos also knew that his father loved him, and always had the best intentions for their relationship. As the time went on, Carlos had begun to realize certain things about his parents that made him understand more and more about their complicated relationship. Carlos found it as an awakening, while Marta just called it "growing up".

"I'm gonna miss you when you are in LA, _mijo,_" Peter said with a sad chuckle at the end of his sentence. "I hope you still know I'm gonna call you a lot, probably even more that you'll be halfway across the country," he chortled. Carlos smiled at his dad's laughter, and the way he smiled at him.

"I know, and I'll call you too, dad. Don't worry about it, we'll stay in touch, I promise," Carlos boasted brightly, starting to ease into the comfort with his father a lot more easily than he had last time he saw him. Peter nodded and sighed deeply, looking at his son's dark brown eyes and smiling.

"You know, I told everyone at the precient that my son was going to LA to be famous, and all_ their_ kids are doing are winning science fairs, and bringing home A papers," Peter said with a smile, causing Carlos to bashfully look down, his father's pride beaming into him like a rocket.

"Glad to see you are proud of me," Carlos chuckled out a bit embarrassed, as Peter immediately rested a hand on his son's broad shoulder and smiled.

"I am very proud of you, Carlos. And I know you'll do good out there," he said stately, nodding his head confidently at the boy. Carlos smiled widely, looking up at his father with bright eyes, and a young face.

"Thanks, dad. It means a lot," he returned to the man happily. Peter nodded and looked at his son, sensing a bit of fear, and doubt in his dark brown eyes. Even though Peter wasn't around that much in Carlos' life, when the boy had an ailment, or something was bothering him, he was able to tell. It was a father's gift, and he knew something was troubling Carlos.

"What's wrong, my boy?" Peter asked. Carlos sighed deeply, and turned his head to the hallway, in which his mom was folding the rest of his things. Carlos looked back at Peter with a sad, twisted smile. He couldn't talk to his mother about this, because he knew she would just put on a front, and no real answer would come out of their conversation. His father was not the perfect person to talk about this with, but it was his only option. He was leaving tomorrow, and this was his last resort.

"I'm leaving _Mami _alone when I go," Carlos said sadly, looking up into his father's eyes trying his best to keep his composure, and not get emotional.

It was less of Carlos _missing _his mother, and more of Carlos' concern to_ protect_ his mother, seeing as he had been the man of the house for so many years. "I'm so used to protecting her, and being the man in the house, but when I leave, she'll be all alone," Carlos spoke. He didn't realize the words that came out of his mouth, and how much his father's face changed when he said them. While Peter had known that he had done things wrong to Marta and Carlos, he never stopped loving his son, and for Carlos to outright say he was the man of the house, like Peter had never been there in the first place, it hurt. Peter was silent and Carlos looked at him, noticing what he had said had hurt his father.

"I—I didn't mean it like that, dad, I'm so—" but Carlos was cut off.

"No. You are right, Carlos," Peter said softly. "You have been the man of the house since I left. You have been protecting your mother all along, and I am so proud of you for that," he said truthfully, examining his own mistakes that he had made in the past. "It shows that you are the kind of man, that I am not," Peter said, nodding his head. Carlos sighed and closed his eyes feeling horrible.

"I didn't mean that you weren't a protector, I—" but Peter cut him off again. He rearranged himself on the couch and looked at his son.

"Look at you, Carlos. You will be sixteen soon, a true man, and yet you have been a man all along," he said, Carlos smiling. "I have made mistakes with you, and your mother. While your mother and I's love fizzled out, I shouldn't have acted the way I did towards her, and towards you. I'm only learning now, after seeing how great you are, that most of your mother's arguments for the way to raise you, were correct. She has raised you into a fine boy, son, and I give her **all** the credit in the world for that," Peter said. Carlos looked up at his dad in awe, at the things coming from his mouth. "I know now, that when I used to yell, and scream, that it wasn't getting things anywhere, and it was effectively scaring you, _mijo,_" Peter said with a pause. He sighed deeply and looked at Carlos again. "I'm only now realizing that what I did was wrong, son. And I know the apology is coming late and out of the blue for so many years, but I'm finally able to take responsibility for my actions. And I just wanted you to know, that even though I am not in love with your mom anymore, that I respect her, and all her decisions. I have already spoken with her, but now, I am telling you," he said. Carlos nodded silently, looking up at his father with an indescribable expression. "She will miss you, Carlos, but do not think you are leaving her the way _I_ did."

Carlos said nothing as his father finished his speech. He didn't know if the was emotion and regret in his father's voice, the fact that he was nervous about this entire singing thing, or the fact that he was exhausted, but he began to cry. Small tears leaked from his eyes, and his lower lip quivered as Peter immediately wrapped his arms around his son and held him tight. He kissed his hair gently, and held him tensely, both father and son silent, as Marta looked on from the hallway, tears down her cheeks, and a smile on her face.

* * *

"Sweetheart, can I come in?" Kelly asked her son, knocking on the white wooden door of his room.

"Yeah," Logan said stoically. Kelly opened the door, and saw Logan neatly packing his needed clothes into his huge hockey duffel. The boy had an upset, edgy expression on his face, as he packed his neatly-stacked clothes all over his room, into the duffel as if he were some kind of machine. Kelly leaned against the doorframe with a sad expression on her face, watching him, not bothering to respond to her presence.

"You need any help packing?" Kelly asked timidly, running her hand through her limp, dark brown hair, dark eyes fixed on her son.

"Nope, I got it," Logan said quietly, continuing to put his matched socks in the side compartment of the duffel. Kelly walked in the room more, nestling herself on Logan's bed, watching as he totally ignored her in his room, carrying on his packing quite concentrated.

"I talked to your father today, Logan," Kelly said. Logan, whose back was towards Kelly at his dresser, stopped his movements, stood up straight and turned around looking back at her with a confused, upset expression on her face.

"Why? Why would you want to talk to_** him**_?" Logan asked upset and angry, stuffing some sweatshirts into his bag quite violently. The way Logan laced the word _him_ with venom was enough to send shudders up anyone's back. Kelly sighed, knowing this was going to be hard for him to understand.

"Well, he knows that you are leaving tomorrow morning, and he wanted to see if he could come over and say good-bye," Kelly said softly, watching as Logan went back to his dresser, angrily grabbed a pair of jeans from his bottom drawer, and slammed it shut, making even Kelly jump.

"I don't even know how to respond to that," Logan chuckled out sarcastically, throwing the jeans in his bag carelessly. He stood in front of his mother with an annoyed, upset face. "You shouldn't even be talking to him, mom. He left us…we were second on his list, and—and I don't want anything to do with him, ever again," Logan said, putting his hands on his hips, his heart racing from his anger.

"I know you are mad and upset sweetheart, and I am too, believe me, but—" Kelly began to say, but Logan fiercely interjected her thoughts with a rant of pure anger and rage.

"There are no buts, mom, alright? I looked up to dad like he was the best person in the world, especially after Mr. Knight died, and—and he acted like a second father to Kendall when he needed him the few months after the accident. I loved him like he was the only person who understood me, the only person I could talk to about everything, the only person that would always love me no matter what, and now…now I find out it was all just a lie! You know what Kendall said, huh?" he asked his mother in wicked rage. Kelly's face was twisted with fear and helplessness as Logan continued his rant. "He said that Dad said "He owed the trip to me"," Logan cried out, tears coming to his eyes. "Owed it to me? For what? For sneaking around behind our backs for four years, with that fucking whore and her two kids! Never. I never wanna see him again, **ever,**" Logan cried out, tears falling down to collect on his lower lip. His entire body was shaking as he stood in front of his mother, his fists balled up in fury at his sides. "You can call him back, and tell him that I don't need a good-bye from him, that I never will, and that I'm going to life my whole life without him, and get famous without him, and get married without him, instead of being his second choice!" Logan cried out at the door, as if his father was standing there. Kelly immediately stood up and wrapped Logan up in her arms, holding him tightly.

"W-why were we his s-second choice, m-m-mom?" Logan cried into her shirt, his arms shaking, and Kelly's hand rubbing his back soothingly. Tears fell from her eyes as she kissed his raven hair gently, and sighed into him, feeling Logan's broken spirit through his sagging and shaking shoulders.

"I don't know, baby. But you're my first choice, and you always will be, I promise," she whispered in his ear, pulling back from him with a smile on her face. Logan sighed, and looked away from her, Kelly wiping Logan's eyes with a small smile. "I understand if you don't want to see him before you go, I'm not going to make you, but just know that he is proud of you, sweetheart. And that he _is_ sorry, even if you can't see it," Kelly spoke to him. Logan looked in his mother's eyes, worried that she was giving up too easy. He prayed and hoped that while he was gone, his mother wouldn't fall back into the arms of the man she had loved for so many years.

"Please tell me, that he is not coming back here when I leave, mom. Please, tell me you are stronger than that," Logan begged of her, Kelly swallowing hard at her son's mature, responsible, protective words. She was surprised Logan was so adamant about this, but she had to make sure he knew that she was just as angry as he was.

"He's not coming back, don't worry. He's being served divorce papers on Monday, and the proceedings will take place while you are in California," Kelly spoke with a nod, Logan smiling at his mother's strength, and confidence. He touched her hand gently and sighed deeply, catching the last few tears from his eyes.

"What about custody for the next two years?" Logan asked concerned, hoping his mother would fight tooth and nail for full. Kelly sighed deeply and looked in Logan's eyes sadly, knowing what he wanted, but knowing that there was a slim chance she could get full custody. It wasn't like John was a **bad **father, more so a bad husband, and she couldn't really have a case for why she should get full custody, just because Logan planned on never speaking to his father again.

"I don't know, sweetheart. That's up to the courts," Kelly said, touching Logan's fair skin, smiling at the bit of stubble under his chin, "and besides, you'll be out in California, becoming famous, you won't be here," she said smiling brightly at her son's accomplishments. Logan chuckled, blinking his eyes of a few last tears, and wiping them away before they could be seen, ashamed that he had broken down in front of his mother again. He had to be strong for her, and he didn't want to have to see her cry.

"Let's hope so," he said with a smile. Kelly kissed his forehead with a smile and nodded.

"I know so, believe me. Anything you've ever wanted to do, you've done, Logan. Whether it was winning the science fair, reading chapter books when you are in kindergarten or any of the other amazing things you have done throughout your lifetime, you always succeeded. And I have no doubts about your attempt to succeed here," Kelly said. Logan sighed and smiled, knowing that his mother was right. He had to succeed, and he was going to, with James, Carlos and Kendall right beside him…and without his father whatsoever.

"You really think so?" Logan asked her, his throat dry.

Kelly nodded. "I know so, Logan. You are the smartest, most logical person I have ever met, and that can only help you out in California," Kelly spoke out with a smile. Logan nodded and Kelly bit her lip awkwardly, looking at the broken boy in front of her.

"Are you sure—I'm doing the right thing, mom? I mean…I always wanted to be a doctor, because I was so smart, and I love medicine and helping people—but this…this is just so exciting," Logan spoke out passionately with a small smile on his face. "It's new, and it's not the same old thing that I've been comfortable with all my life. It's—it's change, and…I've never been one for change, but…I-I feel like this is right," Logan said matter-of-factly with a smile on his face, looking back at his mother with a furrowed brow.

Kelly patted the seat on the bed she had taken, and Logan sat down next to her. Kelly put her hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.

"Don't ever just do something, because you feel you are obligated to do it, Logan. That's not how I want you to live life. If you want to do something, like go out to California and take a shot at the big time, you **have** to do it. Even if you love doing something else, and feel comfortable with it all your life, if you know there is something else you _really_ want, you _have _to go for it, sweetheart," Kelly spoke out sincerely to her son, making sure he understood. There was a bit of silence as Kelly swallowed hard, choking back tears. "I didn't do that with your father…and look at where I am now," Kelly whispered out sadly.

Logan looked up at her with a sunken heart, and took her hand in his easily, stroking it gently. "It's not too late, mom," Logan spoke out. Kelly smiled and leaned down, kissing her son on the head, and taking in the clean, fresh scent he radiated.

"Not for you, baby."

* * *

Stella walked along the long highway, clutching Kendall's cardigan to her shoulders, and shivering. She was without money, without food, and had resorted to eating snow for water. It hadn't gotten this bad in a while, since before she had met Kendall, and there were numerous soup kitchens she had passed without a second thought. Her main objective was clear to her.

She needed to get to Kendall, and she needed to get to him fast.

With each step of her torn, broken boots, more and more snow got in them, sending more chills up her spine as fast paced cars with blinding headlights passed her on the tree lined freeway. She would never hitchhike, knowing that with her luck, she'd get some creepy old pedophile in the car with her, and god knows she wasn't the type of girl who'd do anything for a ride.

She had left Thief River Falls a few days ago, and had been trying her best to make the trip to Duluth on God's good will, hoping that she was going into the right direction. The stars had done their best to lead her at night, and while they protected her to the best of their ability, they weren't Kendall.

Stella dreamt of Kendall every night. Whether it was dreaming about his arms tightly around her body, holding her close, or his sweet kisses on her neck and lips, every single dream, whether sleep or just a nap focused on the blonde boy with the thick eyebrows, and stunning green eyes.

Kendall Knight was the only thing that kept Stella going at this point, and she wanted nothing more than to apologize, and fix their fucked up relationship back to where it was from the first moment they had laid eyes on each other. The pure intensity that had been shared between them, the first kiss, the first time they had made love, when everything was perfect…before Stella messed everything up.

Tears fell out of the girls eyes, looking up at the stars through thick walls of water, as the black sky fell darker, and darker. She instantly picked up her speed, the _swish_ of cars passing her by painfully antagonizing as she did her best to pick her feet up for another step, hoping, and praying Kendall Knight would be happy to see her.

**Review PLEASE? :D**


	23. Hooked

**A/N: Hey guys. This is one of my longer chapters, averaging about 9500 words :D So big smiles for that!**

**Also, I've been noticing a quite upsetting decline in my reviews lately, which makes me sad. I've lost a lot, but I just wanna say thank you to all my usual reviewers who review every week, like: waterwicca, so-complicated, LIV3xLAUGHxL0V3, fearless523, fang lover 23, christinainwonderland, ShootingStar001, casablancasx3, rattle-my-KAGE, BigTimeFan50, tawniee, gleechild, and if I forgot you, please tell me! These are the people who make me keep going with this story, so if you are too shy or too lazy to review Hooked, please, review their stories, cause they are what is making this story possible.**

**Also, I see that I get SO many hits and visitors to this story, so please, just take the time and give me just a word or two about what you think about this Kendall, Stella relationship.**

**Also, new reviewers get a sneak peek of the next chapter :x I've been doing this for a while now, but have never put it on an authors note, so here ya go.**

**ALSO, I've been thinking about maybe shortening up Hooked and ending it a little earlier, but I'm not sure yet. Do you guys want more Stella/Kendall? Tell me, let me know what you are thinking.**

**FINALLY, waterwicca's ****Past The Sorrow**** has a MONUMENTAL chapter coming out tonight. So if you read this snippet, make SURE to pay close attention, cause it's VERY important in tonights chapter, so without further ado, I give you, Past The Sorrow:  
**

ore than three months later, Kendall woke up with a slight chill and instantly reached out beside him for the body heat of Sage with his eyes still refusing to open. When his outstretched arm only met his mattress, he blinked rapidly and looked around, swallowing his panic down his suddenly tight throat.

His bedroom was brightly lit with the morning sunlight reflecting off of the foot of snow on the ground beyond his window, and his clock told him it was time to get up. Before he could call out to Sage, his body relaxed when he heard movement from his bathroom and noticed the door was slightly ajar. He jumped off of his bed with a smile and swung the door open the rest of the way, knowing she would have shut the door securely if he wasn't allowed in.

Sage stood in front of the sink with her lower half fully dressed in boots and jeans, but only wore a purple bra on top. Kendall noticed how closely her new bruises matched the color of her underwear, thinking that somehow everything was so right about her even when it was all terribly wrong. Her latest injuries were still pretty fresh, only having been dealt two days before during one of the times she was forced to be at the Henderson house when Elliot wasn't working. Sage's torso was still wrapped from when Kendall helped patch her up the night before after they showered… together.

Now that Sage practically lived with the Knight family, and Karen knew about her son and his girlfriend's intimacy, she insisted that their bedroom door stay open at all times. However, Sage and Kendall found plenty of time to sneak around whenever and wherever they could.

Kendall watched Sage smile at him sheepishly. It was covering her chest, but she seemed to be struggling to get the bra straps onto her arms; wincing every time her sore shoulders resisted the awkward movement. She had just been rethinking her strategy when Kendall walked in.

"Why didn't you come get me?" Kendall sighed softly, giving her a gentle smile as he stepped forward confidently to help her like he had many times before. "Arms straight down…"

Sage rolled her eyes with a melodic laugh as she did what she was told. Despite the brutal pain he knew she was in, Kendall always loved that she faced it with a smile. It was a completely genuine gesture. It had taken awhile for Kendall to learn that she meant it and wasn't just being brave, and he decided that if she could remain happy then so could he. They always did their best to not let Elliot change them. They kept their normalcy of jokes and smiles.

"I was trying to let you rest for five more minutes," Sage grinned weakly as her boyfriend slid the straps slowly up her smooth arms and shrugged.

"You know I can't sleep without you there anyway…" he kissed her softly once he was done, "… but promise you'll ask for help next time, especially if you're stuck on the undressing part," he smirked at her playfully, pulling her into a deeper kiss.

Sage leaned into him fully; running her hands along his exposed back as his avoided her abdomen and rested in her hair and against her hip. Kendall swept his tongue across her lips and Sage found her control, stepping back just before she let them get carried away.

"You should get dressed. We have to go downstairs in a few minutes," she kissed him once more, forcing herself to keep her eyes off of his half naked body and biting her lip. Kendall seemed to be doing the same.

"Okay… just a little while longer…" he whispered softly as he sat on the toilet seat cover and pulled her into his lap, "… I wish you didn't have to go…"

From the moment he woke up, Kendall knew it was Friday just as much as he knew he was on planet Earth. Tuesday and Friday mornings were always solemn occasions for him and Sage because Elliot demanded that she be home when he was, and her stepfather did not work on Wednesdays and Saturdays. It wasn't the perfect situation, but they were making the best of what they had been given.

"Are we gonna keep having this conversation over and over?" Sage joked lightly, leaning in to rest her forehead in the crook of his neck.

"Just on Tuesday and Friday mornings because, no matter how many times we go through this, I will never be okay with you going to your house… to be around him," Kendall always avoided saying Elliot's name when he could. The anger was too much to control if he let it consume him.

"Good morning, lovebirds!" Katie entered the room cheerfully and hopped up to sit on the counter, swinging her legs back and forth to hit against the wood below every few seconds.

"Yes, Katie, come right on in," Kendall laughed sarcastically, placing a random kiss onto Sage's shoulder.

"Hey, your door was wide open," his little sister defended herself boldly, curiously examining random objects near the sink.

"Only because Mom makes us keep it that way," Kendall insisted with a tone that clearly showed that Katie was already aware of that fact.

**Pay close attention! And read and review, please, waterwicca deserves it :D**

**And now FINALLY after this long authors note, please, without futher ado we have the twenty-third chapter of Hooked :)**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Three: Hooked_

She had no idea how she had made it here alive.

After a week of trudging through the snow and the ice, nearly getting killed three times, and not eating more than once a day, an exhausted Stella had finally arrived in Duluth, Minnesota. Her tired legs walked like she was made of wood, each step horribly painful, and her feet blistered and freezing. However, not once did she stop when it wasn't absolutely necessary. She had to go see Kendall Knight, and it didn't matter how hurt, hungry, or tired she was.

She wore Kendall's cardigan the entire journey through, letting it fall against her shoulders, the scent of him still lingering throughout the worn blue threads. This way, if she closed her eyes, she could pretend Kendall's arm enamored her body, clutching her closer to him for warmth, telling her he was sorry, and that he loved her more than anything in the world.

Her dreams of the boy still continued, as did dreams of her abuse in where Kendall would pull her bloody adolescent self from the hands of raw, vicious guards who tried to kill her.

Stella stood on Granger Street, her dirty, frozen blonde hair hanging in streaks over her red, flushed, freezing face. She brought her shaking hand up to her cheek, as her eyes stared at the cold, lightly sprinkled snowy street in front of her. She looked from left to right, her eyes narrowing down the block in which there was a house on each side. All the lights were on in almost every house. Stella turned to the left, and saw a lively blue living room, a blonde mother and two brunette sons sitting down to dinner, with a tall, brunette father bringing in something from what she assumed was the kitchen. A big chandelier hung in the center of the dining room, and Stella smiled at the family, the vision instantly brining her back to Thief River Falls, in where she had sat down to an elegant dinner with Kendall and the Tregger's. Slowly walking forward, Stella reached into her pocket with shaking hands, small puffs of fog escaping between her lips, pulling out the small, crinkled piece of paper she had studied so many nights. She knew the exact address of where Kendall lived, but being somehow down the street from it, almost made Stella second guess herself. It was if she couldn't believe that she was actually here, that she had actually made it here in one piece, and that she was going to be able to throw her arms around Kendall Knight in just seconds.

After making sure she was indeed correct, Stella shoved the paper back down into her pocket, and turned her attention to the happy house with the lovely family, searching for a number to guide her.

"540," she whispered to herself, nodding. Kendall's house was 528, so she had to walk a bit further down the street. Swallowing hard, and butterflies building up inside of her stomach, she began to walk down the street, the bitter cold wind whipping her dirty, unkempt hair into her fair, frozen face.

"536," she whispered again, looking at bright white house with dark maroon shutters, and a small, dead cherry tree in the front yard. Stella kept walking, approaching a white house, with dark green shutters. There was a blue Chevy parked in front of the house, and red mini-van in the driveway. Stella's eyes opened wider. She recognized that mini-van. It was the one she had kept her blue eyes locked on from the window of the abandoned mansion, watching as Kendall and his family made their way back home. Stella's heart beat faster and faster against her ribcage as the vision and idea of seeing Kendall became all too real to her again. She walked towards the dark, silent house, her footsteps crunching in the snow and ice that lay under her. Without a doubt, she walked up to the front door, taking in the house as a whole. White shingles covered it, along with dark green shutters. Icicles hung over the awning of the porch which she stood on. Stella's smile was still bright, her body not even taking in the deserted, darkness of the giant house in front of her.

Not even taking time to examine the consequences, Stella pushed the doorbell with a giddy smile, biting her lip, near tears in her eyes. The sound echoed through the empty house, and Stella stood back on the porch again, just praying that Kendall would open the door so she could throw her arms around his warm frame, taking all of him in, begging for forgiveness. She heard no footsteps, and she saw not one light go in the house in front of her. She looked at the number to her right.

"528," she whispered to herself nodding, keeping a smile plastered on her face. Stella leaned on the railing of the porch nervously, wondering if the Knight's maybe were asleep, and she had awoken them. Stella never really was one for knowing what was socially acceptable, especially based on the near hand job she had given Kendall during Christmas Eve dinner. Stella's breathing began to get heavier, noticing that every other house had lights on, except Kendall's. She pushed the doorbell again, and looked up at the stars, wondering if something was wrong, if they had guided her to the wrong place. However, her common sense brought her back to reality, and she stared at the door with confusion.

"How is it that every house has a light on except this one?" Stella whispered to herself, her own mind going nearly mad from the lack of sleep, the bitter cold and the racing of her heart. It wasn't pitch black out, but dark enough for the stars to be out, and the people to be inside. Stella's eyebrows furrowed, as she took her shaking fist, and pounded on the oak door of the Knight house, not having any shame in waking them up if they slept.

"Kendall!" Stella yelled, her voice cracking in excitement. Her fist pained every time she met the door, but she didn't care. The louder she knocked, the better chance Kendall would hear her. More fog passed her lips, as her face began to contort in fear that Kendall wasn't home, and she would have to wait even longer to see him.

"Are you lookin' for the Knight's?" she heard a weak, Midwest voice speak behind her. Stella turned to the sidewalk, where she saw an older woman, buried in brown fur coat, walking a small little Chihuahua by the Knight's mailbox. Stella smiled instantly at the woman, nearly running down the porch steps, not bothering with the ice, her lungs out of breath from the tight, cold sting in the air.

"Yes! Yes I am, _oh_! Where might they be? Do you know?" Stella asked the old, wrinkly woman with an excited face. The woman smiled a bit sadly at Stella's excitement, ignoring her tattered and torn clothes, the filth of hair, the flush of her cheeks and the condition of her canvas bag, slung over her shoulder like usual. Even though her coat put off the idea that she was indeed wealthy, she remained friendly to the girl who looked like she had been on the road for months, rather than days.

"Oh sweetheart, they are in California, didn't you hear? It's the talk of the town!" the woman exclaimed jubilantly, looking down at the dog who was sniffing by the curb for a place to relieve itself. Stella swallowed hard and looked at the woman confused, not believing her at all. Why in the _world_ would Kendall be across the nation in California?

"W-what do you mean? What are you talking about?" Stella asked the woman in a joking, worried laugh, the words getting caught in her throat.

"Haven't you heard? Kendall, Kim's oldest, is in California with the Garcia boy, the Mitchell's son and the Diamond's son on record deal of some sort," the woman said with a smile. Stella looked at the woman like she had just spoke in gibberish, her smile dissipating and licking her lips confused with wide, glassy blue eyes. "It's all anybody here is talking about!"

"What?" Stella asked in frozen a whisper. The woman looked at Stella like she instantly knew the entire story between her and Kendall and frowned, just sensing the heartbreak in her one word. She could see the lines of distress on Stella's face, making her beautiful skin seem like it was effortlessly aging with worry in front of her.

"The Knight's are in California for three months, dear…is—is something wrong?" she asked. Stella stumbled back a bit, her head dizzy with fear. Was this a sick joke? Had she travelled _all_ this way to knock on Kendall's empty house, without so much as knowing where he was in a state halfway across the country.

"No-I-I," Stella said, stumbling on her words, the air and distraught getting caught in her throat, as if they prevented her from breathing. She looked at the empty house, and then back at the woman who seemed more concerned with how her little Chihuahua was doing on the side of the road, rather than the blonde, beaten runaway in front of her. "I'm fine, thank you, I'll just be going home now," Stella said almost robotically, as she nodded in thanks to the woman, and walked past her, feeling as if her body had just been beaten with sacks of pennies. Stella walked down the sidewalk, the air stinging her, her lips trembling and her hair whipping around her face. Tears began to come to her eyes she walked away, turning around to see if the woman was still there. Warm tears tracked her face as the brown fur coat of a lady walked further down the black, nearly out of sight between the distance, and falling darkness.

Through a wall of tears, she looked back at Knight house, feeling lonely and lost. She had wanted nothing more than to fall into Kendall's arms, and kiss him. She wanted to sleep in a warm house, even if it meant getting snuck in and staying in the closet. She just wanted protection. She had come so far for it, and now it was gone before she had even had it. Stella walked towards the house again, wiping her eyes with shaking, dry, cracked hands. She swallowed hard, her dry throat on fire as she cried.

She was angry, but not at Kendall. She was angry at herself, and she didn't even know why. This lethal mix of feelings boiled in her veins, making her skin feel as if it was on fire. Stella took a few more steps to the Knight house, and swallowed hard, as she looked up and down it, tears falling down her face. Making a quick decision, she began to walk up the driveway, and into the open backyard, past the garage which was connected to the house. Stella eyes suddenly caught a small entrance into the garage, covered by a flimsy piece of wood by the back of it. She walked over to it and cautiously moved the wood aside, careful not to make any noises that would alarm the neighbors. Stella kneeled down, and with closed eyes, squeezed herself past the opening, into the Knight's garage, falling down on the hard asphalt, scraping her already torn jeans, and her bag falling with a clunk beside her.

Stella's palms were scraped a bit as well as she lay on the floor of the Knight's garage, looking around at it curiously. She had to admit, she felt a bit weird breaking into Kendall's house, but right now, her mind was set on somehow getting any clue to where he was, or any reminiscing memories of him at all. Stella sat on the chalky floor, wiping the small specks of blood from her scratched hands on her jeans, the last few fresh tears rolling down her face as she looked around the garage.

There were boxes piled high of stuff, each one cleverly labeled in big, thick, boxy handwriting. Stella got up from the floor with a sigh, wiped her wet eyelashes with the back of her hand, fastened her bag back on her shoulder and walked towards one of the piles of cardboard boxes. Her finger instantly traced the word "**KENDALL**" on one of the boxes labeled "**KENDALL'S OLD ROOM**". It was about knee high to her, with no other boxes on top of it. Stella shakily opened the two cardboard flaps, cutting the tape with her jagged pinky nail, as she opened the musty, old memories. The scent of must and dirt clogged her nose, as she turned away and gave a gentle cough into the fresher air. She turned back to it bringing her hands to the first thing she saw in the box, which was a once shiny, now tarnished hockey trophy, the emulation of a small pee-wee hockey player on top, nearly cracked in half. Stella gently picked it up with a smile, and looked at the engraving, blowing the few dust bunnies from the base. "_Herbst Elementary Hockey Squad. First Place. 1998,"_ Stella read softly, smiling as her thumb traced the words engraved. She placed the trophy back in the box with gentle care, making sure the small hockey player on top wasn't broken off, and moved it aside to go deeper into the box.

Stella's hands came upon a black picture frame, which she slowly and carefully pulled from the mess, small little dust fragments coating the glass that covered it. Stella smiled when she saw the picture of four boys, Kendall on the end with the goofiest of smiles on his faces, even though he couldn't be more than ten. Stella's eyes wandered towards the other three boys in the picture, who she took to be James, Carlos and Logan, Kendall's three best friends that he would always slip into their conversation. They were all in hockey gear, the Latino boy wearing a helmet, and all of the boys wearing the same red, green and brown hockey jersey. She didn't know who was who, not remembering Kendall's description of his best friends from his first visit, but it didn't matter to her.

She knew that these boys were Kendall's entire lifetime, and that they would fight to death over his protection, even if it_**was**_from her.

The bond was visible from just looking at the picture of the ten year old boys. Their arms draped over each other in a relaxing, simple touch, their faces contorted out of excitement from what Stella believed were due to a victory on the ice. Her eyes locked on Kendall, who seemed as bright and as innocent as the other boys, something she didn't think was possible. While not knowing about the lives of James, Carlos and Logan, Stella had feeling they weren't as fucked up as Kendall was, or as fucked up as she was.

Stella carefully placed the picture down into the darkness of the box with a small smile, and decided to close the box of Kendall's old mementos, not bothering with the stripe of tape down the middle. She turned around in the garage, looking at the door in front of her which led to what she thought a dark, dismal kitchen. Stella looked more around the garage with a furrowed brow, wanting to find something she could pick the lock with. As much as she felt guilty for effectively breaking into the house, it wasn't like she was going to steal anything from the Knight's. She would never. She needed a place to sleep tonight, and she also needed to see if there would be any clues leading her directly to where Kendall was.

If Stella didn't find him, then she'd be back at square one. Truly alone.

Although in this moment, Stella had never felt more alone in her entire life.

Her eyes caught on a wire hanger that hung in the corner of the garage, on a piece of broken wood protruding from the wall. She quickly walked over to it, feeling it would work perfectly, and snatched it from the wall, the cold wire sending chills up her spine as it hit the scratches on her hand from when she had fell. Stella shivered, the garage not having any heat as she walked over to the door, and kneeled down on the cement step, bending the top of the hanger so it could pick the lock. After only a minute or two, Stella was successful, and opened the door to the Knight's dark kitchen, the door creaking open slowly.

Stella slowly and quietly got up from the step, hitting the rest of the dust from her jeans as she walked into the kitchen, slowly placing the hanger down next to the step, making sure she knew where it was if she needed it again. Her boots clicked softly against the linoleum of the floor, as she quietly shut the door behind her, locking it so it never looked like she was here in the first place.

Stella took a deep breath as she looked around the kitchen, immediately going to the big linoleum sink, knowing that she had to clean out her cuts before they either got infected or got deeper. She walked across the room to the sink, her eyes admiring the homey decorating Mrs. Knight had done, a smile slipping across Stella's face. The entire kitchen was done in a modern style, but with homey touches slipped in the most unexpected places, like the soft, warm colors of the dishtowels hung over the bar of the over, and how they matched the colors of the curtains that framed the big, old fashioned window looking out onto the dark, barely lit street. Stella smiled as she turned the faucet on, ran the hot water, and slowly stuck her hand under it, biting her lower lip at the sting. The water cascaded down her hand, the warmth pooling in her body as she sighed deeply, swallowing hard at the sting she felt zing through her wrist and up to her spine.

She turned the faucet off, and wiped her hand on the clean part of her jeans, not wanting to dirty any of the towels in the Knight kitchen. She sighed and began to walk towards the living room, her hand tracing the small white table in which she imagined Kendall sitting down to and having breakfast each morning with his mother and sister. Stella leaned against the countertop and sighed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, her hands clutching the counter with white knuckles.

_Kendall suddenly pushed Stella up against the counter of the musty old house, as his lips instantly attacked hers with more than desire. Stella let out a slight moan, slipping her hands around Kendall's broad shoulders as their tongues wriggled against each other for dominance in the kiss. Stella let down her guard, and Kendall took full control of her body, his hands going down to her backside and giving it a squeeze as he grinded against her, his mind in a frenzy of passion. Their lips messily rubbed against each other, the warmth and moist feeling intoxicating Kendall's entire body beyond his wildest beliefs._

_He swallowed hard and nodded as she played the frays of hair at the back of his neck, his hands rubbing her bare back gently. He swiftly pulled out of her, and then pushed back in again as Stella's legs spread wider, breaths getting heavier. She let out a small moan into his neck, holding on tightly to his neck like she was in some sort of pain._

_"I don't wanna be too rough, love," Kendall spoke in her ear as he remained inside of her, his fingers tracing her slim abdomen. Stella slowly suckled on his earlobe and blew in his _ear, her hands at his lower back, massaging it gently.

_"Don't hold back, Kendall," she spoke with a small smile_.

Stella's eyes shot open, her breaths tight as she swallowed hard, gripping the counter with shaking hands. She shook her head of the fantasy and sighed deeply, her shaky hands at her sides as she began to walk up into the living room area of the Knight's house. To her left was a set of stairs in which her eyes followed willfully. Deciding this would be her best option, Stella carefully held onto the wood banister and slowly began her descent upstairs, the creaky wood of the staircase underneath her feet. Her breathing was heavy in the dark space as she reached the top step, looking both left and right at the doors. One door was slightly ajar, and she could see blue tile marking the walls, so she assumed it was a bathroom. Next to that was a bedroom, and then to her left she saw three more doors.

Not knowing which one would be Kendall's room, she slowly walked towards the left, her fingers tracing the narrow green walls of the tiny hallway, a bit scared of what she could encounter. The small creaks of her footsteps sent chills up her spine as she breathed heavily, slowly hitting open the first door she came across. Her eyes were unveiled to a purple room, with a white carpet, and she smiled to herself, knowing it was Katie's. The bright purple room made Stella's eyes glisten, the vibrancy giving her a speck of hope in her heart at the young girls tough exterior, but true innocence. She didn't bother going into the room, and passed it by, walking down the hall a bit more the room beside it.

She slowly took the brass knob in her hand and turned it, the small creak of the door mapping out an instant smile on her face as the blue walls of Kendall's room. The second his room was revealed, Stella felt an instant connection with it, even though it was much too dark to really see it. She knew if she turned on a light that it'd be beyond suspicious since apparently everyone knew that the Knight's were gone. Stella took a few steps into the room and she smiled at how much it just smelled like Kendall. She closed her eyes and reveled in the scent, sliding her bag off her shoulder and letting it fall to the grey carpet silently. Stella walked in a small circle around Kendall's room, wondering up at the blue walls and looking down at the stripped bed.

Everything was virtually empty.

Stella bit her lower lip as she walked over to where his closet door was slightly ajar, and opened it softly, seeing nothing inside except a plaid shirt, and two halves of an old broken hockey stick. She took her hand and ran it down the sleeve of a blue and white plaid shirt Stella didn't recognize, closing her eyes as she let Kendall's persona divulge into her body peacefully as ever. She needed him. She needed his security, his protection, and his love more than anything else she could possibly yearn for.

Stella wasn't as she had been before Kendall.

She was less now.

And it showed.

Fighting back tears, she released the sleeve of the shirt, and closed the door to the empty room with a sigh. She stared back into the empty room, the only light coming in from the stars and moonlight through the window beside Kendall's bed. With a deep shy, Stella wandered over to the oak desk that sat against the opposite wall. She saw that virtually nothing was on top of the desk, except a few disconnected wires from where she guessed Kendall's computer was. Stella pulled out the blue folding chair and sat down on it, allowing her hands to rest on the cold desk, a shiver going up her spine. She swallowed hard and sighed, closing her eyes again, trying to feel as much of Kendall's presence here as she could.

Curious as she could be, Stella leaned to the side, and opened the first drawer of Kendall's desk, seeing if he had left anything behind she could possibly take note of.

She saw a hefty letter with a big "Return to Sender" stamp on the front, and a crinkled up white paper, neatly folded into quarters, rubber banded to it. Stella carefully picked up the letter out of the empty drawer, and quickly and carefully undid the rubber band. She put the white paper aside, and her hands gently held the delicate, and slightly torn letter. Her heart began beating faster as she examined it with wide, glassy blue eyes.

It was addressed to Kacey Roberts, the name she had told Kendall to send his letter to.

It was the letter Stella had never gotten.

Within an instant, the guilt, and shame she had felt upon telling Kendall she had resisted him at first came crawling back to her. She dropped the letter on the desk like it burnt her skin, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks as she took a shaky breath in. She couldn't even imagine what was in the letter, and the beauty it contained. Kendall had waited for her to receive it for weeks and weeks, when she so selfishly had _**chosen**_ not to receive it.

It made Stella's heart ache that she had opted against it.

It broke heart to know that Kendall hadn't taken it with him.

A small tear fell down her face, as she swallowed hard, with shaky hands taking the envelope from the desk and opening it. She slid the two pages of papers out from the envelope, and held them immediately close to her heart. She owed this to Kendall. She had to read this letter.

Taking a few shaky breaths, she brought the letter away from her chest, and looked at the first line, her heart breaking in two. Her face tensed up with a small, happy smile as she read the "_Hey Beautiful,_" in Kendall's messy handwriting, substituted the crossed out "Dear Stella," she had been expecting. But then again, this was Kendall Knight she was talking about. She closed her eyes, and blinked out the last of her tears for the moment, ready to read what Kendall had written her.

_Hey Beautiful, _

_I'm sitting here in my room, on my bed looking out the window at the stars, and missing you a lot, especially with all your witty comments. I would love to make this some romantic, amazing, love letter, but I don't think I can, because while I can write songs for you, letters are a completely different story and I'm not too great at English. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my dad, and this whole therapy thing my mom wants me to do, and it's just really been getting to me, especially since you're not here with me, to hold my hand, or look up at the stars with (which are super bright lately). I miss you, and I really can't wait to hear from you to make sure that you are doing alright and that you still love me ;) _

_It's weird Stel—ever since you came into my life, everything has been different. And I'm really not just saying that to say it, or to make you smile, well at least not __**totally**__. I hope your smiling when you read this. Anyway, like I was saying, you changed something in me. Something in my body chemistry. Something is off, but it feels __**ten times**__ better this way. It was like before I met you, something else was always missing, some part of me I didn't even realize I wanted until I saw you. I was coming to Thief River Falls to forget about my lonely, sad Christmas without my father, and I found you by some miracle of the Gods. And now here I am, writing you a letter, a letter to the girl I love._

_The best part about all of this is knowing that you feel the same way about me. Ever since I left you at the window, wearing my cardigan, I haven't stopped thinking of everything that you are, body mind and spirit. I close my eyes and see your face, I touch my own hair and feel it is yours, I bite my own lip and if I try hard enough I can feel your sweet, supple lips on mine. You are always there, and you never leave me. It's an amazing feeling, even if it is just a dream._

_My best friends, James, Carlos and Logan, you know, the pretty boy, the wackjob and the smart boy respectively, don't believe in us. But you know what, I believe in us, and that is all that matters. All that matters is that we know how we feel about each other, we know what happened up in Thief River Falls, and how its shaped both of our lives. How it got you to open up to me, and how you allowed yourself to be loved me._

_Making love to you Stella, has been the __**best**__ experience of my life so far. I don't think another moment in my life will ever be that great, or that special. I remember it like it could've happened moments ago, and the fact that we were one person boggles my mind anytime I think about it. I feel like our relationship was meant to be this whirlwind of emotions for a reason. It works for us, love. Everything happens for a reason, I'm thinking about getting that tattooed somewhere since it proves so true :) _

_I hope you are reading this and smiling, because I'm writing this and smiling for sure. This feels so natural, writing you a letter. It's as if we have known each other for a lifetime, and I don't think I've ever been this grateful for having a person in my life since my father._

_My father was taken away from me, the one person I thought I could depend on for anything, the one person who knew me better than I knew myself. He'll always be there Stella, but I have this theory. _

_My father sent you to me. I'm sure of it._

_There has to be a reason that you were up on that deck at the same time I was, a reason for why when we kissed for the first time, my entire body did a once over and I felt like I was melting out of my skin. My father sent you to me to fix me, so I wouldn't be messed up, and angry anymore. As much as I am trying my best with therapy, and my friends, and my mom and my sister to not be the way I was, the only way I am calm around is you. You make me feel like nothing was wrong with me in the first place. I know that I have a lot of issues and passion, but you do too, and knowing that we are in some insane way on the same plain, makes me believe that we work together perfectly. We are puzzle pieces, love, and we fit together for __a reason._

_I can't look up at the stars without thinking of you, and I can't close my eyes without seeing you. Sometimes, I hear your voice in my dreams, and it makes me think that you're right there with me, cuddled up against me with your beautiful long blonde hair under my nose, your tiny arms entangled with mine. _

_I know you feel the same way, Stella._

_You are the best thing to happen to me since I can remember. You are only thing that I can count on right now, and I can't tell you how good it makes me feel that I have you. You are mine, and I am yours. I know this might be a bit corny, but here is a quote that I came across on the internet the other day, and I feel explains us quite well. After reading it, all I thought of was you and I._

"_Passion__ is all but soft, it's not tender, it is violence to which you get hooked by pleasure._"

_It's true in every sense of the word, love. _

_I'm Hooked, Stella._

_I'll be seeing you soon, I promise._

_All of my love,  
Kendall Knight_

Stella's entire face was flushed, and engulfed in tears as she let out a shallow cry from the depths of her stomach, shaking her head and placing the letter down on the desk. She sobbed loudly, covering her face with her hands as she breathed heavily, the guilt and shame being poured onto her like thick cement she couldn't escape. She should've stayed in Thief River Falls. She should've stayed with Kendall. Trying to forget him didn't work, but only screwed her in the end, to the point where she had less than she began with.

She wouldn't let Kendall go through that. She loved him too much.

Wiping her eyes with one hand, her heart beating rapidly at Kendall's words, she shakily picked up the quartered paper and opened it with a crinkle. She swallowed hard as her eyes read the lyrics of the song he had written her for Christmas, messily scribbled with an inky pen, with small chord diagrams for what Stella figured to be guitar. She let out another small sob, a smile peeking out through it as she looked at countless scribbles and cross outs Kendall had endured to get the perfect melody for the song down. She closed her eyes, and wished she knew how the notes sounded, and wished she could fully remember the melody, how he had sung it for her on Christmas morning.

Stella smiled at the prospect that Kendall had gone out on his way to become famous, knowing that from the moment she met him that he was better than this town, especially with that beautiful voice that took her to another planet. She swallowed hard, remembering how timid he was, even with her, and now how he was going to be singing something in front of millions of people. She knew he would do good things.

Stella looked at the letter, as her heartbeat slowed down, and her vision cleared, physically and mentally. She re-read some of the things Kendall wrote, and she agreed with most of them, her eyes smiling at the kind, compassionate words she had never received from anyone in her lifetime. Stella had only been slapped, and hit her entire life, excluding her stay at her foster home.

Stella loved Kendall with all her heart, with every aching bone in her body. She knew it for sure this time, there were no regrets whatsoever.

She also knew that there was no way they could ever be together.

She loved him too much.

In that moment Stella's eyes closed, tears falling from them down her face in slow motion, clutching the letter in one hand, and the song in the other, she let out a small sob, nodding her head. She owed this to Kendall.

She had to let him go.

In what seemed like one fluid motion, Stella got up from the desk, placing the letter back in the envelope with shaking hands, folding up the song back in quarters. Tears falling down and staining the thin white paper, she smiled as she put the letter and the song back in their rightful place in the empty, echoing drawer, and closed it with a gentle slam, her hand still clutching the handle tightly. Stella looked on at the closed drawer with a small, hopeful smile.

While she was upset that Kendall had done his best to try to forget about her, she knew it would never work.

She had been there before, and there was no use of even trying. The love was strong, the forces were beyond them. As much as their bodies could be achingly separated, their hearts would never be, deep passion and love rooting them together into one.

Kendall Knight had said it himself.

He was Hooked.

* * *

"Kendall, you okay man?"

Kendall turned his head across the room to Logan, who was unpacking his clothes from his hockey duffle into the oak dresser by his bed. Logan had about three sweater vests in his hand and he looked at Kendall concerned. Logan had noticed that even still, after everything was now completely cool with the four of them, Kendall **still** wasn't the same. Logan knew it was Stella that his best friend was thinking about, and he felt so bad for Kendall. In some ways, Logan found it equated to his mother's marriage. His father had cheated on her, and yet, he knew his mother still loved his father with all her heart, even if it was shown through the embracing of his betrayal.

"Jet lagged," Kendall lied miserably, his gaze going back out towards the window to Palm Woods Park. The boys had landed this morning, and of course were more than eager to take the world by storm, checking out the pool, the arcade, the gym, and everything else their new home had to offer them. California was new and exciting to the boys, especially Carlos and James who had never even been here before. It was a long way from Minnesota, but nothing could ever tear the boys from their home roots.

But now, as it got closer to night, and the boys unpacked all their belongings, Kendall felt a stinging sense of permanency, as if he couldn't escape from it. He had round up all his friends and brought them to California on this wild hell of a ride, all for him, but yet, he **still** didn't feel right about all of this. It was if there was always this little clock in the back of his mind, ticking away at his conscious, saying "_Kendall, why are you even here right now? You don't even like to sing in front of people. Why are you doing this? Is this just to get away from everything? You'll never be able to escape your father's death, or Stella's betrayal." _

Kendall sighed deeply, and laid back on his bed, his duffle still at the end of his bed, along with another bag filled with CD's, trophies, pictures and a bunch of other things from Minnesota. Logan looked at his friend sprawled out across his dark blue comforter, his side of the room totally bare, while Logan had made the place his own in no time. His physics book, along with his L, O, G, A, and N encyclopedias were stacked on the floor right next to his bed. Seeing as the entire set was so expensive, Logan's parents had rewarded him with a book for each letter of his name, anytime he did something they were especially proud of, like when Logan got 100% on his first Calculus test in the beginning of the year, that being the N of course. Logan had read the entire L, O and G book, and was now working on the A. He was up to Amputated, as in amputated legs and arms, but hadn't had the time to read lately, seeing as his life was going in a million different ways.

Placing the last of his clothes in the last drawer neatly, Logan smiled and returned to his duffle, folding it up silently, and opening the large walk-in closet that was in the back of the room. He placed it neatly by the shoe rack, and closed the door, making sure to turn off the light. Logan then looked back at Kendall, who looked absolutely miserable. His eyes were open, but were struggling to remain that way, the dull green giving off more of an upset look than a tired look.

Knowing that James and Carlos were off somewhere in the midst of the Palm Woods, trying to find some girls to pick up or at least attempt to pick up in Carlos' sense, Logan didn't have the heart to leave Kendall alone. However, Logan also didn't know if he could handle a conversation with Kendall about Stella, and about how much he loved her, and how hard he was trying to forget her. Logan's views on love were shot to hell the second his father admitted about Tina Marie. There was absolutely nothing else that could convince him true love really existed, and actually lasted, and he knew that if he told that to Kendall, the boy would just rage against him.

Logan opened his mouth anyway.

"What's wrong, buddy? You're not just tired, you can't lie to me," Logan said chuckling, settling down on his made up side of the room, taking in his new surroundings quite well. Kendall looked up at Logan with his eyes, without moving his head from the pillow and sighed. He felt as if no matter what he did, no matter how exciting coming to California was, Stella would always be on his mind.

"You know what's wrong, Logan. And I know that you don't wanna talk about it, hell, I don't even wanna talk about it," Kendall muttered out miserably, bringing his hand to rest under the cold of the pillow with a soft sigh. Logan looked at Kendall, and saw how his breathing was slowed, his all around movements were slowed, and his lips lay perfectly pursed and straight. It was like Kendall wasn't even a person anymore, just a robot, breathing and talking on command.

"It's gonna get easier to forget her, I promise," Logan said softly, leaning forward on his bed, resting his forearms on his knees. Kendall looked down into his pillow and shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess," he said miserably.

Logan sighed deeply, feeling an awkward tension between he and Kendall.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but it has to get better, man. I mean, maybe you can talk to James about it. He seems to sleep with girls a lot and somehow he doesn't love them," Logan said, trying to throw a joke into the mix to make Kendall smile.

"Well not to bust your balls, Logie, but I think James and I are just a _bit_ different when it comes to things like this," Kendall said with a chuckle, Logan smiling and nodding at the success of his small joke. "His "girlfriends" don't sleep with other people," Kendall commented bitterly, sighing upset.

"Well, I guess that's fair since, James _**is**_ the guy who girlfriends of _**other**_guys sleep with," Logan said. Kendall smiled smugly at his friend, finding the joke a bit funny, and truthful. He couldn't count the number of times James had "accidentally" slept with another dude's girlfriend, and somehow, he never got hell for it.

As much as Logan thought the whole Stella thing was ridiculous, he _knew_ how important to Kendall she was. Seeing as he had already voiced his opinion, quite verbally, and Kendall knew where he stood, it didn't make sense for Logan to keep bullshitting around it. Logan bit his lower lip determined to clear the air between he and Kendall in this moment and sighed deeply.

"C-can I just ask you something…without you getting upset?" Logan squeaked out a bit, rubbing his hands together with a deep sigh. Kendall nodded, still laying down lazily, his hand moving under his pillow, to prop his head up more. Logan looked in his best friend's eyes and took one more deep breath, making sure this didn't come out the wrong way. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Kendall, especially since he knew the boy was still in a fragile state.

"I know that you love Stella, Kendall. But—why are you so adamant about _**her**_? You know what I mean?" Logan asked him with a bit of a wavering voice, making sure Kendall's facial expressions didn't drop like a dead weight. "Like…I know it must be hard to let love go, but…but why aren't you just accepting that maybe she isn't right for you, even if you _do _love her?" Logan asked unsurely. Kendall sighed deeply, biting his lip, trying to get past the annoyance of the question that he immediately felt rise up in him, not wanting it to show in his face. However, if Logan was being understanding about this, and trying to help, the least Kendall could do was try his best to not sound like Logan was being a pain.

"So you mean, like, why haven't I just accepted her as my first love, and moved on so easily?" Kendall asked him, not a hint of annoyance in his voice, for which Logan was thankful. He nodded and Kendall sat up, seeing as talking about Stella was a lot more enthusiastic for him. Kendall locked eyes with Logan and nodded.

"Listen Logie, I don't expect you to really understand anything about me and Stella, and our relationship. It's fucked up, and I'll be the first guy admit it. But I'll tell you why—why a part of me _**still **_just doesn't want to give up," Kendall said softly, looking down at his fingers awkwardly. Logan nodded and Kendall looked back up at him.

"I-I was supposed to go up to Thief River Falls for Christmas, so I could be more concentrated on my mom and Katie, rather than the fact that my dad wasn't going to be there this Christmas," Kendall spoke out with a small, half smile. Logan nodded and Kendall sighed deeply, playing with his hands again. "But then, I'm out on the deck, crying about my father, and—and I see this girl," Kendall whispered, looking down at the floor with a smile. He closed his eyes and smiled, to which Logan reacted the same way, with a smile. "And…she's beautiful, Logan. She looks like an angel of some sorts, and I-I don't even believe that she is really there at first," he continued with his eyes still closed. He opened them and looked at Logan letting out a small chuckle. "And in the matter of fifteen minutes, we are talking about my father, and his death, and everything that's wrong with me that I can only talk to you guys about. And she is sassy, and sweet, and gentle and," he spoke out in a softer, gentler voice. He looked right at Logan and sighed deeply. "And it feels like—like the world put us there on _**purpose**_, Logan. I feel like if I don't kiss her like I want to, that I'm ignoring a request from the God's, I'm ignoring some kind of destiny," he finished passionately, blinking his eyes at the own complexity of his statement. "It feels like it was designed that way."

"So you feel it was meant to be, she was put there on that deck for a specific reason, at that time, that moment?" Logan asked him softly. Kendall looked up at him and smiled.

"I feel like my father sent her, Logan," he whispered out between thin lips with a smile. "I feel like my father put her there, and put me there, to let me have someone else to lean on. I needed someone I could depend on, rather than my mom, or you guys. I needed someone who was as messed up as I was to understand what's going on in here," Kendall said softly, swallowing hard, motioning to his head sadly, with a sarcastic chuckle.

As much as Logan wanted to truly believe Kendall's story, it was hard for him. Logan was a logical person, and everything yes happened for a reason, but a reason in that an outside object affected it to make it that way, just like Newton's Law. To Logan, the only reason Stella was on that deck was because she wanted to stargaze, and the only reason Kendall felt the need to kiss her was because he was lonely, and wanted belongingness. Everything was cut and dry with a smart boy like Logan, and as much as he wished he could believe Kendall, he knew he wouldn't be able to fully wrap something like that around his head.

"I-I don't believe in the "everything happens for a reason" theory Kendall, but I _**do **_understand what you are saying. There is an emotional attachment there, because you feel that your father sent Stella to you, and it's normal. But, how will you ever really know?" Logan asked. Kendall shrugged and hung his head, shaking his head unsure. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

"I don't know, and it doesn't matter anyway. I-I've gotta fight that part of me that misses her, as much as I possibly can," Kendall said, looking up at his best friend with determination sunk in his green eyes. "But I'm gonna need your help, all of your guys' help," he reiterated sadly, the small flecks of gold in his eyes returning, along with a goofy smile spread across his face. "I can't do it alone, man. I need my best buds," Kendall said with a small smile.

Logan nodded and smiled at his best friend, knowing that Kendall would eventually get through it all, only by the help of his family. Kendall Knight was strong, and nothing would ever stop him from doing what he set out to do, even if it was forgetting someone.

"Damn straight," Logan said.

* * *

Stella stood in the bathroom of the Knight's, staring at her naked self in the mirror. She bit her lower lip quivering, not being able to fully look at herself without feeling some sort of disgust. Her shoulders were bruised a bit from her journey, a few scratches on her collarbone. Under her left breast lay a small scar from when she had tried escaping through a wire fence in her journey here, in which it cut her blue sweater, and cause her to bleed. Her long, lean legs were all scratched up as well. Stella was marked with trials and tribulations from trying to get to Kendall, her fight strewn out all over her body with thick red scratches.

Her once beautiful, slim, pasty white body was now marred, and it brought back painful memories of the orphanage. Stella closed her and tried not to think of the times she was beaten, and slapped, and kicked, and pulled by the hair. She shuddered at the thought of it and clutched her cold, thin arms to cover her chest, taking a few deep breaths.

Her eyes cast away from the mirror in shame, Stella turned around to the shower, looking at the thick green curtain that hung outside of it. She slowly hit the curtain away, revealing a virtually empty shower, only housing a small bottle of liquid soap, and a small bottle of shampoo. Stella awkwardly stepped into the shower, the whole time reverting back to her mindset in Thief River Falls. She felt a bit awkward basically breaking into her lover's house, and showering in his bathroom without his knowledge, but it was a mentality Stella had built to fight it throughout her years of survival by herself. Her cold feet stepped on the hard ceramic of the tub as she leaned over and turned the nozzle with the red dot to the side. Stella was _praying_ for hot water, or any water at all for that matter. A burst of water came through the pipes and showered Stella, the warm feeling of the steamy water cleansing her beyond belief. Stella hadn't had a warm shower in more than over a year. She let the water hit her face, as her breathing became more and more calm, as the water washed the dirty, disgusting filth from her pasty white skin. The water was dangerously hot, but Stella didn't mind, as she touched the blue tiled wall in front of her, leaning on it as the water pleasurably pounded into her skin, tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

Stella didn't know why she was crying, but tears kept coming, mixing with the hot water that fell down her face.

* * *

With his hands stuck in his pockets, and a thin black hoodie on, Kendall strolled around the lit Palm Woods Park, taking each step with thought on the asphalt that lie on the path through the plush green grass. He sighed deeply, thinking about how Logan, James and Carlos were all off exploring the late night swims, the arcade, and the fire pit jam sessions the guitarists put on.

However, Kendall wanted nothing more than to just be alone. While he had put on his best face for his mother, Katie and the guys, there was still the obviously underlying sadness he radiated. It was full of guilt, shame, and confusion. It seemed like lately, those had been taking place of his anger.

The last time Kendall had truly blown up at someone was Stella, when he had hit her however many days back that was now. He didn't ever want to go that far again, to hit someone. The past year had Kendall so all over the place in this rollercoaster of emotions, that he truly had no idea what to do with himself. It seemed everyday he was feeling different, and to be honest, Kendall hadn't _really_ felt good, since the last day he had spent with Stella, before the fight erupted.

Kendall didn't know if was the fact that she actually had sex with someone else that upset him so much, or the fact that she did it to forget about him somehow. It didn't matter to him now though, cause luckily being in California, Stella would never find him. She wouldn't want to anyway, especially after what had happened between them. Kendall had to wean himself out of the mentality that his father hadn't sent her for him, and that it truly was just a coincidence that he had opened up to her easily. Maybe he was just lonely so he kissed her, and maybe, since he had heard James make so many cracks about his virginity, he slept with her just so he wouldn't have to be made fun of by the older boy.

With each step, Kendall's thoughts about him and Stella's relationship diminished it entirely from the godly, heavenly connection he had explained to his friends so many times, that he had written down for her to never see. Kendall looked up at the stars, thinking of her and sighing to himself. Maybe it was best for her never to get that letter, and maybe _**that**_ was the real event that had happened for a reason.

Kendall stood in the middle of Palm Woods Park, looking around his well lit, but confusing surroundings. He had been walking and thinking so long, he didn't even know where he had ended up. He sighed deeply, looking at the four paths he could possibly take to get back to entrance, seeing as it was getting quite late, and he didn't want his mother to have a heart attack the first day he was here. Not knowing which way to go, spinning on his heel, Kendall redirected his way up the stars, seeing that an entire cluster of them were to his right, shining brighter than the rest, as if they were beautiful diamonds. Smiling quietly to himself, Kendall turned to his right and walked down the bright lit asphalt path, smiling as he saw the entrance to the Palm Woods in the distance.

**Review, please? :)**


	24. Awakenings

**A/N: Wow, I've got some new reviews that I'm happy about :] That makes me smile BIG TIME. Here is another installation of Hooked, but of course, here is ****Past The Sorrow ****by the AMAZING waterwicca ;D YOU MUST READ AND REVIEW THIS STORY :D  
**

When I see your smile  
Tears roll down my face I can't replace  
And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

Kendall had written and composed the song with Sage in mind and with her assistance. They did everything together, and she had an amazing talent for words and sound. Even though she knew it by heart, Sage listened and watched Kendall intently as he sang and strummed the guitar. She had cried the first time he sang it fully for her, and there were tears in her eyes again. She was pretty sure that his singing would always get to her…

When Kendall sang, his voice was raw and open, yet controlled and honest… a voice that he only ever used on her in the dead of night whether they were connected together as one or contemplating their lives while wrapped tightly around each other.

I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

After today, Kendall was surer than ever that he would do whatever it took to protect and save Sage. If it took time, then that's what he would deal with. If it took pain, then he would gladly accept it. Kendall had to be in control. He had to be a strong leader for Katie and his mother… He would only ever admit to Sage that he was scared out of his mind. She would be the only one to see his tears, just as he saw hers.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one

It had to be okay, because they were together and alive, and that's all that mattered. They would have to deal with the rest as it was thrown at them. When everything is unpredictable, all you can rely on is each other.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
'Cause I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay whoa, stay whoa

He knew Sage would want to leave… to stay away for awhile. Kendall could always read the guilt on her face, but he knew that she wouldn't go. He'd never let her, and she couldn't do it. They needed each other… to breathe… to live… to love… to be happy…

Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray

They'd make it through anything together. Katie and Karen were fully supportive and loving. That was really the only necessity: Family… Family made everything okay. Sage had learned that the hard way. After years of torture, she found people to love and who would love her back without any exceptions. Kendall changed and saved her life… and he would protect it with his own, just as she would lay down and die for him…

**All of you who are reviewing, you're really awesome and keeping this story going. I think I'm gonna have a few words to say about all you who are still reviewing by the end of the story in the "EXPLAIN CHAPTER" that is going to highlight the themes in Hooked, almost like a literary analysis for you book lovers. **

**But definitely, please read and review! Just tell me what you think about the boys, their families, any predictions of some sort? Let me know! I wanna here!**

**I don't own anything except Stella and my OC's.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Four: Awakenings_

It was a bright sunny day in California, and everybody who was anybody was outside, around the Palm Woods pool, soaking up rays, or chugging down a smoothie in the ninety degree weather.

The boys had been here a week already, and had seemed to easily fit into the California lifestyle better than they had expected. Each night, they had been hanging out with new friends, and during the day they busied themselves by putting in some major hours in the studio with Gustavo, as well as enjoying their new apartment, which was gloriously and fantastically the coolest place any of them had ever lived in.

While Kendall did spend time with the guys studying for school, sharing a bathroom in the morning, or doing stupid and crazy things to make other peoples' lives hell, there was always that same ticking in the back of his head that he couldn't stand to get rid of. He felt like part of his mind was trapped in the same old mentality he had when he started writing that letter to Stella, him figuring that his father had sent her down to him as a way to further cope with his loss. It was a thought Kendall had been so accustomed to for so long, he knew it would take more than a week to totally demolish the idea of Stella all together, he just didn't want to believe it. Luckily, Kendall had his friends and family by his side to talk sense into him, and to heal all the wounds he had been scarred with, even before the Christmas holiday.

The weather was turning even warmer in California, seeing as that they were now heading into the month of April, where the seventy degree mark in California had the possibility of rising to eighty, even ninety degrees on a good day. Meanwhile the boys were used to the high forties and fifties of Minnesota in the month of April, along with boots and jeans, unlike the shorts and tank tops they were still not fully accustomed to wearing around the pool.

"It's so frickin' nice out," Logan said with a deep sigh, moving his hands behind his head and crossing his legs on his longue chair.

"It's California, Logie, it's _always_ nice out," Carlos added in with a chuckle, taking a sip of his blueberry smoothie, before placing it back between his legs. Carlos adjusted his sunglasses on his face and sighed deeply, gearing his face up more towards the sun and letting the rays completely warm his already tan body.

"Oh man, I am _so_ glad we're not in Minnesota," James added in with a smile, adjusting himself on his longue chair, his arms stretched upward laying against the back of the chair, of course having ditched his shirt upon first getting outside. "Being here makes me never want to go back," he added on.

"Oh come on, James, you don't mean that," Logan said chuckling, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in, the sun and the noises surrounding him creating the most peaceful picture in his head. "You _know_ you miss your parents."

James shrugged, but kept a large smile on his face, almost forgetting about his little emotional breakdown before he had left, the night of his last dinner at home. It was true, he did miss his parents, but he wasn't sure he missed them as much as he loved the sun. "I guess, but how can I miss the snow, and wind, and cold when I have the sun, the pool, and girls," James chuckled out, looking next to him on the last lounge where Kendall sat less than relaxed, his sunglasses on the tip his nose, playing with his thumbs. "You know what I'm talking about, K-Dawg?" James asked him, hitting his shoulder playfully.

Kendall looked back at James with a half smile, and nodded his head, having not even fully listened to what his best friend had said anyway. Kendall sighed deeply and closed his eyes, itching at his leg awkwardly as he took in Palm Woods pool. James was right, there _were_ a lot of girls here, a lot of suntanned beauties in skimpy bikinis, who walked around seemingly unknown to everyone else in the Palm Woods. Kendall had seen a few girls here who he had actually found somewhat attractive, a totally new feeling for him since his heart was already committed to Stella, and he had previously ignored every girl that wasn't her, like Stephanie Carter. Of course, none of the looks he had given them had been serious where Kendall would actually have the audacity to go up and start a conversation with them. He had never been one for going up to girls directly, acting like he was this confident, amazing guy and then asking them out on a date where they wouldn't be able to say no. That was strictly James' territory, something Kendall could never learn, and something he didn't care to learn.

James suddenly popped out of his chair enthusiastically with a smile on, pushing his sunglasses up into his brown locks and smiling at his friends excitedly, small sweat trickles on his arms and behind his neck.

"Who wants a smoothie?" he asked them slyly.

"Right here, dude," Logan said, raising his hand. Carlos raised his hand as well, his eyes going wide as he ravenously sucked the rest of his smoothie up into his straw, as if his life depended on it. His eyes crossed to the straw, his face completely contorted as Logan, Kendall and James looked on quite entertained.

"Carlos, _**relax**_! I'll get you another one anyway," James said, noticing the boy's wide eyes and blueberry covered mouth. With a loud, relieved sigh, Carlos detached himself from the straw, breathing heavily as he brought his hands immediately to his head in some sort of bittersweet horror.

"BRAIN FREEZE!" he exclaimed loudly, shutting his eyes tightly and massaging his temples as James and Logan laughed at their friend, Kendall not paying much attention, but smiling anyway. It was if lately, he could interact with his friends, and respond to them, but he felt like he had water in his ear, or something like that. He heard what they were saying, but couldn't fully understand it, as if he almost didn't _want_ to understand. "Shit, it's so bad," Carlos cried out upset, hanging his head between his knees and rubbing the back of his neck as Logan rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.

"So you want another one?" James asked Carlos with a chuckle, the Latino giving James quick a thumbs up with one hand, his head still hung. James looked over at Kendall, pointing two finger guns at him with a smile.

"Strawberry or Raspberry, K-Dawg?" James asked him.

"Raspberry," Kendall replied cordially, his gaze not leaving the sky above him. James tapped his head, making a mental note, as he pointed to Kendall, Carlos and Logan in succession.

"Raspberry, Blueberry, Strawberry," he mumbled out between his lips, trying to remember which smoothies to get. "Got it."

James took a sharp turn on the heels quite flamboyantly, his arms flailing out from his body, bumping into someone by the edge of the pool.

"Wh-" was all that was heard from the girl's lips, as James ostentatious presentation of arms and confidence sent the girl flying into the cool, wet pool, a loud splash heard throughout the courtyard. James' eyes got wide, and everyone else in the Palm Woods was silent as Kendall, Logan and Carlos all sat up in their chairs, looking at the scene with awe and entertainment.

"**Fuck**!" James exclaimed nervously, the first thought going through his head being that the girl could've hit her head, or something else for that matter. Everyone that was around the pool waited eagerly for the girl to come up from the water, and give that new, buff, tan kid a stern talking to for pushing her into the pool.

"Look at what you did, James!" Carlos spoke out entertained, his mouth in the shape of an o as he chuckled and reveled in the pretty boy's embarrassment and worry. James leaned down to the side of the pool, nervously awaiting the girl to bring her head above the water, hoping she wasn't hurt or worse, pissed off. After a few seconds she finally did, gasping for air as she took her hand to her face, wiping the water from her eyes coughing a bit from the water that had gone to her lungs.

"Are you alright?" he asked her worried, making sure to look at her with soft eyes and a concerned smile. As she took her hand away from her face, James noticed just how beautiful the girl he pushed into the pool was. Her now soaked, dark raven hair hung long down her body, her tan shoulders and arms impeccably smooth and her dark brown eyes looking near black. She looked at James with a very pissed off face, as the boy's face softened and he swallowed hard, even more pissed off that she was pretty hot and he had done this.

"I am _**so**_ sorry," James said to her in his sweetest gentlest voice, as everybody around the pool went back to their own business, the scene now being old news. He held a hand out for her as she looked at him and scoffed annoyed, taking it anyway. It was the least he could do, right?

"I wasn't planning on going in the pool today," the girl said to him, grabbing his hand tightly. James pulled her up onto the asphalt again as she groaned annoyed at him, shooting a look at the three boys who sat on their lounge chairs, running a hand through her limp, stringy hair, her eyes full of embarrassment and annoyance. James looked at her, and then back at the guys, smiling nervously.

"What if I take you out tonight, you know, to make up for…this?" he said slyly, softly reaching out to touch her arm with a smile. The girl looked up and down at James and softly pushed his tan arm off of hers, and a sly smile came to her lips.

"Why don't _**you**_ take a swim instead, asshole," she chuckled darkly, "accidentally" taking James' hand by his palm, and pushing him gently over the edge of the pool, where he yelped loudly before loudly splashing into, the attention of everyone else coming back to where the pretty boy swam underwater. James bolted out into the air with a gasp, his brown hair near black and sticking to his face, as he immediately wiped the water from his eyes, Kendall, Carlos and Logan all looking up in shock at the soaking, dripping girl who stood there with a sly smile on her face.

"**Dude**!" Carlos exclaimed at her in entertainment and excitement, his laughter beginning to echo through the open courtyard as Kendall let out a loud burst of laughter, Logan turning to his friend in surprise. It had been a while since he heard Kendall really laugh, and the sound was music to his ears. Kendall couldn't control himself as he slapped his knee, his breathing coming heavier and heavier as he sat back on his chair, holding his stomach in glee, face turning red. Logan smiled at him, liking the once usual expression on his best friend's face and in his green eyes. He looked happy for once, even if it was just for that one moment. It was a moment free of guilt, shame and anger. Logan looked at James who looked up at the girl very confused and angry, as she quietly walked away into the lobby with a smirk on her lips as James swam to the side of the pool.

"Who the _**fuck**_ does she think she is?" James asked his friends outraged, his brows furrowed together and his voice still hoarse from the pressure of the water going down his throat, coughing a few more times to clear his throat. James' eyes cast to the doors where he could still see the girl from a distance walking towards the elevators and scoffing, as he used the strength he had in his arms to push himself back up onto the asphalt. Kendall had finally calmed down a bit, tears coming from his eyes as he sat up, trying to wipe them away, a smile still across his face.

"Jeez James, looks like you swam yourself in too deep there," Carlos added with a smile, looking at the other two boys for approval for his joke. Kendall and Logan smiled at him, knowing the Latino desired their acknowledgement, and then looked back at James who stood up, and was trying his best to salvage his hair with an unamused frown on his face, biting his lower lip in anger.

"Stupid bitch, I didn't even do it on purpose, but then she had the nerve to not only reject me, but to push me into the pool when I spent **TWO HOURS** on my hair this morning!" James belted out angrily, as if the tall girl could hear him somehow. He scoffed again and Logan threw him a towel, James snapping it up and immediately bringing it to his hair, his dripping body soaking the edge of the pool.

"Well, **I **still want a smoothie, so I guess I'll go get them and let Jamie here dry off," Logan said with a snicker getting up from his longue chair and walking over to the smoothie stand.

"Tough break dude," Kendall said, trying to get all the last laughs from his mouth out, not wanting to piss James off anymore than he already had.

Carlos moved closer to the end of his seat and smiled, laughing with glee at the days events. "What hurt more man? Getting rejected or getting pushed in the pool?" he asked. James looked at Carlos with angry eyes as the Latino backed up on his chair a bit, knowing that James wasn't in the mood to joke. The pretty boy sat back on his longue chair with a deep sigh, mumbling curses and other things under his breath, as his eyes cast towards the door, as if he couldn't look away.

* * *

Kendall sat at the dining room table of 2J with a peanut butter sandwich in his hands, and a cold glass of milk in front of him, enjoying the peace and quiet of the spacious apartment. Carlos was at Palm Woods park, trying his best to somehow pick up one of the Jennifer's, James was still a bit steamed from his earlier pool fiasco, and Logan was off with Camille somewhere, probably helping her rehearse her latest audition.

Kendall's heart warmed a bit at the fact that since arriving here only a week or so ago, that Logan had taken interest in the quirky, over-the-top actress with the mean backhand. Seeing as Logan had never really been the one to be interested in girls, as well as never really having a girlfriend before, Kendall was glad to see Logan straighten his posture every time Camille was around, or make sure that his hair looked pristine when he would pass her in the Palm Woods lobby. Knowing the smart boy had a rough year so far, he constantly egged Logan on to talk to Camille, wanting him to have something to be excited about, something to look forward to, just as Kendall had about seeing Stella. That pure rush of adrenaline and excitement when the eyes lay on the one that gets your heart started, and your brain pumping with blood, tingles in parts of your body that made you feel like you were floating. Even though he didn't have it anymore, he felt that someone like Logan was just as deserving, and hopefully, his situation was less messed up than Kendall's.

Kendall took a bite of the sandwich and sighed, allowing his free hand to run through his bangs freely, pushing the long hair from his eyes with annoyance. He definitely needed some sort of haircut. Swallowing the bite of his sandwich, he reached out to take a sip of milk, the door swinging open as he brought the cup to his lips, causing him to jump, a large splatter of milk dropping down onto his jeans.

"What the hell?" Kendall exclaimed angrily and surprised, as James walked through the door with a coy smile on his face, and a swag walk into the apartment. He twirled with his arms flailed again, and confidently shut the door closed with a chuckle, watching as an annoyed Kendall stared him down, the boy gleefully gliding over to Kendall, and taking the seat across from him.

Kendall stared him down with a raised eyebrow as he wiped the milk from his pants with a bit of a scowl, James silently humming "Big Time Rush", hoping to catch Kendall's attention with his new and cheerful mood. Kendall sighed and looked at James who stared him down, smiling widely and nodding his head. Kendall rolled his eyes, obviously feeling obligated to ask as he took another bit of his sandwich and a sip of milk.

"_Okay_ James, why are you so happy?" he asked in annoyance, his voice dragging as he took another sip of milk to wash away the peanut butter stuck to the inside of his mouth. James sat back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head, the purple shirt he worse cutting just far down enough for his large, tan arms to be exposed to the female gender.

"Why? Well, let's just say I have an _incredibly_ attractive date tonight, K-Dawg," James snickered out as Kendall rolled his eyes, wondering what floozy bimbo James had picked up and where he had approached her.

"Sounds like you're guaranteeing yourself a great time with this chick," Kendall chuckled out, picking off the last pieces of his half of sandwich left, not truly paying attention to James story. It was all the same anyway. He'd take the girl out somewhere, be the perfect gentlemen to her on the first and second dates, and then by the third, he'd sweet talk her right into bed, knowing that no one could truly resist the Diamond charm. As long as he had a condom and a soft, sultry voice, it was a sealed deal. "Who is the poor girl?" Kendall asked chuckling as James rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Lianna Roberts," James said with a smooth smile, tapping his fingertips on the table slyly. Kendall looked at James with a confused, scrunched face and a cocked eyebrow, confused unto who the girl even was.

"And…who…is that?" he asked the brunette. James smiled and took a deep breath, reveling in the fact that he had won.

"The girl I pushed in the pool," James said proudly with a smile, tapping on the table triumphantly as Kendall's eyes got wide, totally stunned at how James had somehow managed to score a date with this beautiful, tall, hot girl who had almost wrung his neck nearly hours ago. He held the table confused, making sure he had heard right the name that came from James' lips.

"How…the _**hell**_ did you convince her to go out on a date with you?" Kendall asked in awe, scraping the last few crumbs from his sandwich down his mouth, taking the last few sips of his milk.

"I'm just _**that **_amazing," James spoke out with a chuckle, tapping on the table for emphasis, crossing his legs and tipping his chin up into the air. Kendall sat back in his chair, putting his empty cup down and staring at his best friend with wonder and suspicion.

"So, when are you aiming to sleep with her?" Kendall asked snidely. James looked at the boy like he was foreign, and had no idea what he was talking about it, and Kendall scoffed, looking at James directly in the eyes, as the brunettes gaze relaxed a bit and he smiled and chuckled, knowing Kendall had him figured out.

"I don't know, whenever I can. I mean, I haven't gotten a good lay in about…jeez, it's been a long while," James spoke realizing it with a bit of shock. Kendall laughed a bit at the boy's astonishment as James looked at Kendall and swallowed hard, very confused and out of his element. Kendall chuckled a bit and sighed, looking down at his empty plate with a small smirk on his lips, as James sighed and looked at Kendall intently. He could tell that something was going on his blonde friend's head, and being in the great mood he was in, he decided to test Kendall, and see if he could get anything out of the boy who he knew was still hurting.

"Watcha thinking about, Kendall?" he asked him. Kendall sighed and looked up at James, with those green puppy dog eyes that carried all of Kendall's emotions, only if they weren't already spread across his face. Kendall sat up more straight, and looked over both shoulders as if he and James were about to make a shifty drug deal. Kendall sighed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"James, when you…have sex with a girl, how is it that you…_distance_…yourself from her?" Kendall asked curiously and a bit embarrassed. James sighed loudly and chuckled at his friend, about to invest his words of wisdom to his best friend, the secret that James had learned long ago.

"I just…_**don't**_ care," James stated simply with a smile on his face. Kendall looked at him confused and raised an eyebrow with a small sarcastic laugh, not believing the boys words.

"Uh, what do you mean?" he asked clueless. James sighed and sat more forward, locking his eyes with Kendall's, trying to get the point across and act as serious as he could.

"I just, I don't care," he stated again with a small smile on his face. "I don't cuddle after wards, I don't make it all special and whisper in the girls ear that she is the love of my life, none of that relationship bullshit," James stated clearly, making sure Kendall knew his conditions. Kendall was intrigued by James' sexual rules, having never even really talked to him about sex, aside from the first time had engaged in the act a few years back. "It's pure foreplay, a few nice comments her way, fucking her like it's my job, and then giving her a kiss before sending her on her way," James said with an accomplished smile, as Kendall breathed out, a bit disgusted by James comment.

"And…the fact that you are…temporarily _inside_ this girl, and you're physically…one with her means…absolutely nothing?" Kendall asked James, trying his best not to sound judgmental. Kendall wasn't here to judge at all. All he wanted was to understand how James could view sex with a girl so casually, while Kendall making love to Stella was easily one of the best and most memorable experiences of his life, and it was slowly tearing him apart. It wasn't like Kendall was planning on having sex with a random girl and then distancing himself from her to forget about Stella. James smiled and chuckled at the boy.

"Oh, Kendall, you are such a romantic," James joked out, as if he were talking to someone who was years younger than him. Kendall was a little annoyed at his patronizing tone, furrowing his thick eyebrows at the pretty boy who as careless as he was, caught on to his friend's displeased stare quickly. He straightened up in his chair, staring Kendall in the eye with a slacked jaw and serious eyes. "That's what differs between me and you, dude. You have the open heart, and the belief in love to actually care about the girl who is underneath you. And I-I just don't," James admitted honestly, his hazel eyes shining in the light.

Kendall truthfully looked into James eyes, and under the rough exterior, he could tell there was a beating heart in there. There was no way James could forever distance himself from the girls he slept with. Maybe now, maybe in a few years, but one day, Kendall just knew that James would meet this girl that would make him re-examine every thought about love he ever had in that pretty little head of his. There was no way James could live in the same house with his parents, and not think that he'd really find it someday.

"So tell me dude, you never really told me about your whole sexual experience with Stella. Why don't you spill, especially since the Virgin Marys aren't around," James said, poking fun at the innocent Logan and Carlos. Kendall chuckled a bit at the harsh, but playful nickname that James had given his two virgin best friends, and looked down at his fingers, playing with them nervously.

"I-I don't know, James. It's—personal," Kendall said softly, biting his lower lip just thinking about the intimate times he and Stella had together over his stays at Thief River Falls.

"Oh come on, I never held _one_ thing back about **my** sex life," James argued with wide eyes and slumped shoulders with a chuckle as Kendall scoffed at him with a surprised face.

"Dude, we never **ask** about your sex life! You tell us voluntarily, and believe me, your stories have definitely scarred not only me, but Carlos and Logan as well," Kendall joked out with laughter, as James joined in, realizing the blonde was right. There were many times James would regale the group with his tales of having sex in alleyways between the school buildings, empty classrooms, and his parents' bed.

"Well that's only because I have some pretty sick stories, K-Dawg, and don't even_ try_ to tell me that I don't," James said smiling, pointing a stern finger at the blonde boy. Kendall put his hands up in innocence and laughed as James nodded, the two boys smiling at each other and Kendall sighing deeply. "Come on, dude. This will help. I mean, you said that you wanted to see her as less pure and perfect," James said. "This is your chance! Talk about her like she's a hooker or something," he joked out with a smile. Kendall looked at James, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow.

"When did I ever say that?" Kendall asked. James sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, flinging his hand back.

"Logan told me, but that's beside the point, man. This could help you, I'm telling you," James chuckled out.

As much as it was true that he loved Stella, maybe talking about her _would_ spark something in Kendall to further want to forget about her. Maybe he needed to talk about her like James talked about his girlfriends, the way guys in the locker room back home in Minnesota talked about the girls they hooked up with at parties. Maybe the first step to totally detaching himself from Stella was to talk about her like she was just a normal girl. Not the love of Kendall's life, not the only girl he could ever see himself with, and not the girl he wanted to marry someday. Just a girl he had lost his virginity to a few months back who had given him a good time. Seeing Stella as this beautiful angel sent down from Heaven was just too much glory for the girl that had shattered Kendall's heart. Kendall looked up at James with a small, sly smile and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Well uh, w-what do you wanna know?" Kendall asked him, unsure where this conversation was going. Luckily, Kim and Katie were out for the day, trying to find Katie a spot in a TV ad so she could successfully attend school at the Palm Woods with the rest of the boys. James tucked his chair in closer to the table and chuckled, rubbing his hands together, excited to get the real dirt on Stella.

"Uh…_everything_ man! How did it all go down? Did you pounce? Did she do anything…_freaky_?" he asked eagerly with shining eyes. Kendall chuckled nervously and bit his lower lip, closing his eyes and thinking back, a goofy smile on his face and a chuckle sneaking past his teeth. "Uh oh, what are you thinking about?" James asked entertained, giving him a quick punch on the shoulder from across the table. Kendall smiled at James and raised his eyebrows bashfully.

"It was definitely…definitely a good time," Kendall chuckled out, his cheeks turning a bit flush. "She was…she wasn't nervous which was good, and she was actually really…_accepting_...of my…body," Kendall said making his eyes wider at the emphasized word, James understanding with a chuckle.

"She was a virgin and she was 'accepting?'" James asked of the boy in air quotes, sparing him the dirty language. "Wow dude. That almost never happens. They're usually vacuumed sealed," James joked. Kendall shrugged modestly, feeling a bit of pride of how he and Stella had made love so easily and effortlessly the first time. "How many times did you guys…?" James asked curiously. Kendall didn't even have to hesitate.

"Seven," he spoke out confidently nodding his head. "Seven between my first visit, and my last visit," he corrected himself, making sure James wouldn't bang out some rude comment about how many times he frequented her, even though he knew it was cooking up in the brunette's head anyway.

"Damn, look at you. I knew we called you K-Dawg for a reason," James joked out playfully. Kendall shrugged again, swallowing hard, as his mind tried his hardest to forget about the first time they had passionately made love in the cabin on Christmas Eve, and more towards their more comfortable sex in the deserted house before their fight only a few days later.

"Yeah it was…well, they were all different in their own ways, cause…well, yeah," Kendall said nervously, checking the door again, making no one was disturbing the explicit conversation going on between him and James. "We actually, went on a walk one of the first days we met back up, and we were uh, passing this old abandoned house," Kendall said looking down, smiling at the memory as James listened eagerly. "And we got inside, and we were kinda just playing around, flirting a bit and then, one thing led to another and…we were on the counter," Kendall chuckled out, seeing as the position they had sex in was so awkward when he thought about it, but so right in that moment. "I actually, well, _we_ went twice that night, cause, I don't know, I guess it was the first time I had seen her in a while, and I was more eager than usual," Kendall said closing his eyes with a smile, his mind reverting back to that night as his blood began to get warm with passion, "and gosh she was just…fucking hot as _hell_, James," Kendall mumbled out, his face red but a smile spread across it at the increased ecstasy the two lover's had encountered their second time around that night at the house. "I just, I couldn't control myself looking at her, so submissive, _**begging**_ me to be inside her," Kendall said softly, his eyes widening at the surprise he felt talking about Stella so sexually.

James laughed out loud and slammed his fist on the table proudly, smiling at Kendall like he had a son who had brought home an A+ history exam. "Well how about that, man. Look at you goin' hard twice in a row," James said, Kendall finally locking eyes with the boy, his heart still beating fast. He had never _ever_ called Stella hot, or used that word to describe her beautiful face, pale blonde locks and sweet supple lips. She was never hot, always beautiful.

Kendall hoped talking like this would be worth it.

It had to be.

* * *

Carlos sat on the couch with Logan, the two opposite boys doing two opposite things. Logan was curled up in the corner of the couch with his A encyclopedia, his reading glasses tipped on his nose to see the fine print extra clearly, so he wouldn't miss a thing. Carlos however was chopping the heads of radioactive Zombies in the new videogame he had just purchased and had been playing non-stop. Seeing as the noise didn't really bother Logan all that much, and Kendall and James were both down at the pool on this hot day, and he really didn't want to be cooped up in his room all day, he'd figured he'd spend some time with Carlos, the two boys gradually and occasionally talking and laughing with each other while they happily did their own thing. It was the way in which Logan and Carlos interacted, and for some reason, it just worked for them as best friends.

"Oh, I'm so close to the next levellllllll….." Carlos groaned out with a determined look on his face, his hands nearly white from the pressure he was using to press the A button on the controller, his eyes up at the screen with intensity. Sensing Carlos' excitement, Logan looked up from his book to see that Carlos was indeed only two kills away, and a few feet from the next portal unto where he would continue on in the game, beating the first sixteen levels with pure ease and skill.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Logie get the phone!" Carlos screamed out in desperation, his eyes squinted and his hands shaking as he pressed the buttons on the controlled rapidly, trying to hold up his invisibility shield from the alien life forms that were attacking him. Logan rolled his eyes and smiled at the Latino's attempts to save himself which obviously were going to fail. He leaned over to the table and picked up the cordless which was blinking orange and picked it up with a sigh.

"Hello?" he asked, his attention directed towards the television which was blinking red at Carlos' health.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed loudly at the television, as it went black and the death music played, Carlos angrily throwing down his controlled next to him with a sad, pouted face.

"Logan? Hey, it's Mr. Garcia," Peter said into the phone a bit nervously, not having talked to any of his sons friends in a while. Logan was a bit surprised at the sound of Peter's voice, not having really heard it in a while, however the voice brought back good memories to the boy, the ones where Carlos' father had told the boys stories about how he had saved the day and caught the bad guy.

"Oh, hey Mr. Garcia, how are you?" Logan asked cordially, Carlos' gaze turning to one of confusion that his dad would call the house phone. Carlos' eyes got wide and he sighed, his hand feeling around next to him for his cell phone which was charging in the next room.

"Good, son. Is Carlos there?" he asked with a happy voice.

"Yeah sure, I'll put him right on," Logan said with a smile, Carlos' face lighting up as Logan passed him the phone.

Peter had kept true to his promise, and instead of checking up on Carlos every week he was Hollywood, it was now two to three times a week. Carlos would tell his dad everything about California that had glimpsed with even the slightest eye. He'd tell Peter all about the girls, and the palm trees, the weather, the palm woods, Gustavo, Kelly, their boss Griffin, their apartment, Logan's new "girlfriend", and everything and anything else he possibly could. It was as if the increase in miles between Carlos and Peter somehow brought them closer than they ever could have imagined. Carlos had begun to feel more and more comfortable since he and his father's talk the night before he left. Of course, it wasn't like everything was fine and dandy. Marta was never brought up in conversation, and if she was, her name was echoed by a long awkward silence, that neither of the Garcia men truly knew how to break, only lamely cracking a joke, or by eliciting some kind of noise that would initiate a conversation about what bodily function it corresponded with.

"Hey dad," Carlos said quite cheerful, taking the phone against his ear and immediately springing up from the couch. While it wasn't like their phone calls were secrets to the boys, Carlos always preferred some sort of privacy when he talked on the phone to anyone, even though he knew Logan would more concentrated on his encyclopedias than what Carlos was saying to his father.

"Hey, mijo. I tried ringing your cell phone like usual but there was no answer. I wanted to call before I have to head out to work," Peter said with a chuckle. Carlos' eyes went up to the small clock above the stove and he sighed deeply, noting it was already almost 6 here, meaning it was nearing around 7ish in Minnesota, meaning his dad was taking the night shift again.

"Night shift, again?" Carlos asked a bit nervously. While Peter Garcia had always been a brave soul on the police force, even when he and Carlos weren't talking at all after he had left, Carlos still stayed up late, worrying about him, and if this time the bad guy was going to win. It was always a deep seated fear in the bottom of the young boys heart, but Peter had always reassured him, even when he was just barely big enough to understand what wearing the blue uniform actually meant.

"Yeah, but it'll be very quiet tonight, Carlos. Don't worry," Peter said with a chuckle. "Sometimes, you remind me so much of your mother with your worrying son," he added on, the awkward silence beginning to draw out between them. Carlos would give it a few seconds as he tapped the counter softly, deciding whether to yawn, or cough, ultimately gearing the phone call in a direction of sleeping habits, or the smoggy air in California. However, none were needed.

Just as Carlos was about to cough, Peter spoke.

"H-how is your mother?" he asked Carlos.

Carlos' eyes got a bit wide at the question as he leaned against the counter casually, crossing one arm over his chest with a million things going on in his head. Out of all the times Carlos had talked to his father, for as long as he could remember, Peter _never_ brought up Marta intentionally, or asked how she was doing. Peter might've thrown around "Oh, your mother is well, right?" hoping to just be polite and respectful of the mother of his child to make up for the all times he screamed at her in front of his son, but this, this was different.

"I uh, talked to her this morning. She's good," Carlos said a bit confused, scratching his head at the question. Peter sighed and swallowed hard on the other end of the phone.

"T-that's good, I just, I know that you were nervous about leaving her, and I just wanted to make sure she was doing alright," he said, making it clear that the question was purposefully geared towards Carlos' relationship with his mother, rather than Peter's personal relationship with Marta.

"Yeah, she misses me a lot, but she's been doing good. Some of the girls from the office took her out for drinks the other night to cheer her up a bit, and she's been talking to _abeula _a lot in her new retirement home in Florida, so that's good," Carlos said nodding his head, looking straight ahead as he held the phone closer to his ear.

"Oh, well that's good for her," Peter said with a smile over the phone. Carlos nodded, and the awkward silence began to play out again, the static from the phone tingling each of the Garcia men's ears. Carlos took a deep breath and so did Peter, the silence being more comfortable than usual.

"So, how is everything by you?" Carlos asked with a smile, hoping to hear some tales about how his father had locked another robber in jail, or pinned a carjacker to the ground. Peter awkwardly cleared his throat and sighed with a smile, making sure to word this correctly, seeing that now was the time to tell his son about the woman in his life.

"I uh…I actually have been…seeing someone," Peter said awkwardly into the phone, causing Carlos' heart to stop beating for a second. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, making sure that he had heard exactly what his father was saying correctly. His father had…a girlfriend?

"Y-you have a girlfriend?" Carlos asked a bit surprised, swallowing hard at just the fact that he was talking to his father about girls. It was supposed to be the other way around. Peter was supposed to be shocked that Carlos had a girlfriend. Taking a second to let this register, Carlos couldn't help but feel like crying. While his mother and father had been over for some time, even before the divorce, deep inside the bottom corner of his heart, he always had some little frayed spark of hope that just _maybe_ his parents could somehow get back together. But now, it just wasn't happening at all. It wasn't that Carlos was angry that Peter had a girlfriend, more just surprised than anything.

"Well, yeah," Peter chuckled out a bit embarrassed over the phone. "Do you?" he asked his son, trying his best to add some comic relief into the conversation. Carlos laughed out awkwardly a soft no and Peter added an "_ohh" _to relieve some of the tension. "Well don't worry son, a few more months in California and you'll be attracting the ladies everywhere," Peter said in a proud, happy voice. Carlos nodded softly, still not being able to get his mind off the fact that his father had a girlfriend. I mean sure, Carlos knew his father had been on dates before, but he had never bothered to introduce or really formally acknowledge them in front of the boy before, no matter how young or old he was.

"So…what is her name?" Carlos asked awkwardly, wanting to find out more about this girl his father was seeing. Peter took a deep sigh and was smiling over the phone, knowing that his son would be a little weary about this, but hoping for the best, seeing as he had never been with another woman before since his son had been born.

"Her name is Gabriela," Peter said with a chuckle. "I met her a few months ago at a traffic stop." Carlos was silent, picturing how this woman looked in his head. Was she a few years older than him, or a few years younger than his father? Did she have kids? Was she tall, short? Was she black, white, Spanish, Asian? Carlos had no idea what to expect from this, it all coming suddenly out of the blue, even though his father had known her for a few months. He hadn't even realized how much he was thinking about this until his father noticed he had been silent for more than awkwardly necessary between them. "Mijo, everything alright?" he asked softly. Carlos snapped back to reality and chuckled, swallowing hard and rubbing his hair.

"Yeah, yeah I-I'm fine, I just zoned out sorry," he said nervously, acting like it was no big deal that his father had just dropped a long term girlfriend on him. Peter sighed deeply.

"Listen son, I-I know that I haven't ever really had a girlfriend before since me and your mother split up, and I just…" he trailed off, pausing for a bit, "I just want to make sure that you're okay with all of this. I mean, Gabriela is a very kind, special woman. She has a son a few years younger than you," Peter said, as if it was supposed to make any doubt or fear Carlos had about this relationship suddenly disappear into thin air. Carlos nodded and smiled, trying his best to fight the inner demons that made him just want to crawl up into a hole and die on the phone with his father. "I've told her _a lot_ about you, I mean, since your becoming famous and all, and she really would love to meet you sometime. ," Peter said soulfully with glee as Carlos nodded, gripping onto the counter a bit tighter than usual. His knuckles turned a bit white again, but from a totally different frustration than the video game.

The spark just kept getting smaller and smaller, fizzling out before Carlos' eyes.

"Yeah, I-sure, uh, whenever I see you next then I guess," Carlos said awkwardly, biting his lower lip, his breaths a little heavier than usual. Carlos swallowed hard and sighed deeply, scratching his head and closing his eyes. He wanted this phone call to end so he could just sit down on the couch, and think about this. His father had a girlfriend, someone he was kissing, and caring about other than his mother. Seeing his father's anger, and hearing his screams, Carlos didn't really think it possible that his father could truly love another woman again…except for the love that he had with Marta. "Uh listen dad, Mrs. Knight is just about to put down some dinner, I'll call you soon?" Carlos lied rushedly, tapping his foot against the wood floor upset.

"Sure thing son," Peter said. "Have a good night."

"You too dad, be safe," Carlos said quickly into the phone, hanging it up right after the words left his mouth. He slammed the phone down on the counter with a mix of anger and sadness as Logan looked up from his book, looking at Carlos' sunken back, the boy's hands covering his face.

"Yo, Carlitos," Logan called across the room, closing his A encyclopedia, and placing it down next to him, using a sheet of math formulas he had printed to study from as a bookmark. Carlos didn't answer, but turned around and began to walk back towards him with a sullen, confused look on his face. "What's wrong man?" Logan asked as the boy neared him, and collapsed down on the couch upset and exhausted.

"My father has a girlfriend," Carlos said dryly and confused, looking up at Logan with a bemused face on. Logan sighed deeply and let out a small chuckle, feeling the other boy's pain.

"Well, welcome to the club," Logan said sitting more back on the couch, and taking off his reading glasses with ease. Carlos sighed out deeply, and covered his mouth with his hand, taking a deep breath and sighing, obviously in deep thought about all of this.

"I just—I guess I never really thought about him having a serious girlfriend, you know? I know he has gone out on dates, and I know he has dated someone for like _maybe_ two months the longest, but this girl, he's actually…serious about her," Carlos said dumbfounded, as if the possibility of his father having a girlfriend was as impossible as reaching the moon. Carlos slumped down more in his chair, resting his hands on his thighs and looking up at the ceiling with a confused face on. "And he's met her kid, and, he's told her about me," Carlos said confused, scrunching his face up.

Logan let out a small scoff and chuckle and smiled at his friend, raising his eyebrow. "Just be lucky that your parents are _**divorced**_ and your dad is seeing someone else," Logan said bitterly, the anger and passion about his father's mistress rising up from the place he had hidden it since coming out to California. That was the one excellent thing about Logan. Sometimes he failed at it, in front of people like his mother and maybe the guys, but if Logan wanted to lock a feeling away and never tap into it again, he could do it. However, even the slightest tap would send the negativity rushing back through his veins, right up to his head where it would bring back all those feelings he felt, maybe even worse.

"Yeah, I know, but still it's—it's weird, you know?" Carlos told Logan, almost afraid to tell the boy of his childhood dream, still kept electrified in the bottom of his heart. Carlos sighed and looked at the smart boy with an innocent half grin. "I guess…I always thought that _maybe_, just somehow, someway my parents would find that thing they love about each other so much, the thing they found back in college and just rediscover all those feelings they felt, you know?" Carlos told Logan, trying to get the words out without being stupid. "I know it sounds stupid, but I just always hoped that I'd get a happy ending with my family. That my mom would find the man that she fell so madly in love with. That maybe as I got older, they would go back to normal since I could fend for myself," Carlos said softly. "I felt like…I was almost the _reason_ they broke up," he chuckled out sadly, swallowing hard, not even realizing his feelings until he said them out loud.

"That's not a stupid thought Carlos, and you did _not_ break-up your parent's marriage, buddy. Don't think that," Logan said affectionately, moving closer to his best friend on the orange couch. Carlos sighed out deeply, hanging his head down, trying to hold back the tears he felt were coming.

"I just feel like sometimes," he said a bit wearily, lifting his head back up and sighing deeply, "if I hadn't been born, they'd be happier or something. Or that maybe if I'd been a better kid, and listened more they wouldn't have yelled at each other so much." Logan chuckled.

"Well you were a pretty rotten kid," he joked out, causing Carlos to chuckle, and dip his head down again. Logan cupped his shoulder with a sad, sympathetic smile and sighed deeply. "I know it sucks to think that your dad this girl now, and that your parents are never gonna happen again, but, it's just life Carlos. It's just the way love works," Logan said softly, staring down at his shoes, reflecting on his own experiences. "Look at my experience," he said.

Carlos looked up at Logan with confused eyes and chuckled. "Your…experience? With love?" he asked with a crinkled nose. Logan rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Well my **parent's **experience. I mean, my mom and dad were in love for like what?...forever? And it just sort of…fizzled out. My dad just stopped caring about her, and he stopped caring about me, and he went to go take care of his business elsewhere," Logan said bitterly, adding a sarcastic chuckle at the end. His father hadn't tried to contact him since he had left, Logan guessing that his mother had told him his son didn't want _**anything**_ to do with him. "I mean, I'm sure my parents were in love at one time, but I mean, it makes sense to me now. My mom always thought my dad and her were a match made in heaven and look it where it left her? A single mother with a son who isn't even living at home anymore," Logan whispered quietly to his best friend, swallowing the tears in his throat from the sadness he felt about the subject.

Logan turned to Carlos and sighed deeply. "It's just the fact that…true love doesn't exist, Carlos. Yeah, maybe _love_ exists somewhere, but…it just…" Logan tried to get out softly, biting his lower lip with determination.

"It doesn't last," Carlos whispered out between thin lips. He looked up at Logan and sighed deeply, both of the boys reveling in each other's sorrows, and joys, exchanging big smiles at their new found common ground.

"Exactly. Look at Kendall and Stella," Logan said with a soft scoff, sighing deeply and running his hands through his hair. "Kendall deludes himself into thinking it is true love, and maybe it **was** _that_ week, and then he gets his heart shattered into a million pieces by this girl, and he is _still_ trying to pick them up," Logan said, shaking his head disapproving the situation. "But the poor kid doesn't know any better, because he wants to believe it was true love _so_ badly," Logan sighed out loud, quite miserably.

"I know, that's rough," Carlos said softly, looking down and fiddling with his thumbs. Both boys sat back on the couch and looked at each other with smile, knowing they had found comfort in each other, knowing that this was the reason why they were best friends.

"Do you think…we'll ever fall in love Logan?" Carlos asked hopefully, looking at the older boy with a gleam in his eye. Logan sighed and shrugged, making himself more comfortable on the couch.

"I don't know, Carlos. I mean, you hear that so many people fall in love, and get married, but, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Love doesn't find everyone, and even it does, God knows it won't last," he said, looking down and picking at his fingernails awkwardly. Carlos nodded and looked over at Logan with an upset, scrunched up face.

"You know, I still don't believe in this whole Stella/Kendall debacle, but now that I realize it, I-I really don't believe in this love Kendall talks about at _all_, man. I mean, I've always seen myself with some kinda family in the future, but now I feel like I'm waking up and realizing that it doesn't matter what happens, love just screws everything up," the boy said, the words coming from his mouth easily. "You guys are gonna be my family," he whispered softly. Logan nodded in agreeance, looking over at Carlos with a small smile, seeing the boy's face change completely from innocent and wondering to aged and knowing. Logan rested his hand on Carlos' neck and squeezed it with a friendly demeanor.

"That may have been the smartest thing you've ever said, buddy."


	25. Fake

**A/N: I hope you all like this chapter of Hooked! :D I do!**

**Big shoutout to Koala75 for REVIEWING AND READING EVERY CHAPTER :) and of course LIV3xLAUGHxL0V3 just for being so amazing! Go read her stories, now. I command you :P And here is a sexy snippet from waterwicca's Past the Sorrow!**

He kept a hand behind her head as he repeatedly pressed her into the wall, neither one of them bothering to stifle their moans as he slid in and out of her. Being loud is one of their favorite parts of being together when they have sex outside of the house; where they don't need to be stealthy. Kendall loves hearing Sage moan his name, and Sage shivers every time he groans or growls into her ear as he buries himself deep inside of her. His cock throbbed with his oncoming release, and he could tell that his lover was close as her walls convulsed tightly around him and her breathing hitched.

"Oh my god…" Sage cried and bucked wildly into his erratically moving hips, both of them still amazed at how every time together feels just as hot and just as special as their first night.

Kendall pressed his head into her neck with a shout as she bit down onto his strong shoulder, both of them climaxing simultaneously. Sage moaned into his skin as she felt Kendall's hot cum flood into her shaking body, and he continued thrusting in and out slowly, stretching out the intensity of their orgasms.

As both of them breathed heavily, Kendall let Sage's legs fall to the ground, but left his arms around her waist; keeping them attached at the hip. Sage peppered kisses all over his cooling skin as he reached down to his jacket with one hand, pulling a box from one of the pockets with a sly smile.

"Close your eyes," he instructed playfully, turning to look at her as she lay her head back against the bricks and struggled to catch her breath.

"They're already closed," she giggled lazily and squeezed his upper arm blindly as she rested her eyes and took in the feeling of Kendall still inside of her.

"Then keep 'em that way," he chuckled giddily, kissing her cheek before opening the small blue box and taking out the small prize inside and throwing the container to the ground. He held her Valentine's Day gift in front of her face.

"Open."

Sage opened her eyes with a brilliant smile. Kendall dangled a silver necklace in front of her. It was a pendant crafted in a heart shape with a scripted "S" and "K" intertwined in the center.

"You like it?" he asked happily, already knowing the answer, and leaning in to kiss her sweetly.

Sage smiled against his lips and placed her hand lovingly along his cheek. She pulled back and examined the silver trinket that symbolized their love between her fingers with shining eyes.

"It's perfect."  
**  
**

**And of course there is a wonderful quite…sexy…snippet for all you Past the Sorrow readers, old AND NEW! If you haven't checked this story out, you must.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Five: Fake_

All was silent nearing 9:00 in California, as Kendall lay facing the window, the dark sky and the twinkle of stars in the distance. He sighed deeply, bundling up in his covers, even though it was warm and humid out, like every other day in California.

Kendall had a long day today, waking up bright and early, almost dying from laughter by the pool earlier, his talk with James, going back down to the pool with the boy, and spending some time with Katie, something he hadn't really done in a while. To say that he was exhausted would be an understatement, especially seeing that he had a long day of rehearsals and harmonies tomorrow, and Gustavo was bound to be pissed about something.

He took another deep sigh and cuddle up in the covers a bit more, closing his eyes tiredly as the racket from downstairs was heard of Carlos and Logan playing Carlos' new videogame, which now all four boys were beyond addicted to. James was out on the date he had been talking about all day, in which he spent at least two hours to get ready for, causing Carlos to throw a fit when he looked at the condition of their room when he walked out the front door.

Kendall heard muffled expletives flying left and right from downstairs, and his mother condoning the boys, threatening them with no dessert if they didn't stop. Kendall chuckled at the fact that his friends were acting the like five year olds they were when they met, but his face dropped a bit when he realized he was in bed before dessert time, something that hadn't ever happened no matter how tired Kendall was.

California was proving well for the boy, in every sense of the word. His anger fits, while still there, had not come anywhere even close to how they were back home. While Kendall had a tendency to raise his fists and want to fight, he tried his best to slow down, and take a few deep breaths, just like that helpful **bitch** of a therapist had told him at his last visit before going back to Thief River Falls. He didn't want to make any stupid moves with his best friends again, and risk losing them when he needed them the most right now. Keeping his anger in check was hard, but definitely proving to be more successful than just going ballistic. The whole forgetting about Stella thing was starting to be set in motion today as well, seeing as Kendall had taken the first step and talked to James about their sex life as hot and sexy, rather than beautiful and meaningful, as it really was. Kendall felt a bit hurt afterwards, demeaning the relationship they had to something was trivial as just sex, but it was necessary. It was the only way he was going to get this whole "perfect goddess" vision of Stella out of his head, and the only way he was going to be able to put her aside as accept her as a first love that wouldn't mean anything else.

All the while we he looked out the window, he couldn't help but feel that his friends had been right all along, from the very beginning. If he would've just listened to them, and hadn't been so deluded by Stella's quicksilver love, maybe he would've spared the hurt, the heartache and the time he spent dreaming about her. Maybe he wouldn't have broken the tough ties between his best friends, which were now more than fixed, but would never be the same strength again. Maybe he would've been there for Logan when his father left instead of ignoring his desperate pleas for help when the boy admitted he was wrong and Kendall was too stubborn to even answer. Maybe he wouldn't have punched James when the boy was merely expressing his own opinion on the situation about love, and had gotten carried away with it due to Kendall's own attitude and words. Maybe he wouldn't have made Katie so scared of him, that the girl wouldn't even want to touch him, and be afraid oh him. Maybe if he wasn't goddamned stubborn all the time, Kendall would've been able to listen to everyone around him telling him this wasn't the right path for him, and that this love would never be able to last, especially at such a young age.

Kendall should've listened.

"Sweetheart?" he heard the soft voice his mother say, echoing through the ajar door. She knocked on the door softly, pushing it open, Kendall not even bothering to move from his comfortable position on the bed. All the lights were completely off, and the only light peeking in the room was from the stars and the hallway. Kim softly walked into the room, knowing Kendall wasn't asleep by how neat and orderly his usually messed up linens would be, seeing as the boy had a habit of tossing and turning in his sleep.

"Yeah," Kendall said sighing softly, closing his eyes heavy with prospective sleep. Kim turned the light on in the room, causing Kendall's eyes to immediately close, trying their best to adjust to the new bright lights.

"Is something wrong? Why are you in bed?" she asked softly, walking over to his bed as Kendall turned over towards her, knowing his mother despised talking to the back of someone's head. He sighed and Kim sat down on the edge of it, Kendall politely moving back to make room from her as she smiled down at him concerned.

"I'm just tired, mom. I had a long day," he said softly, nestling more into the pillow and closing his eyes as she took his hand to his forehead, feeling the coolness of his sticky skin. She felt around his face as Kendall sighed deeply, nestling into his mother's cool touch a bit before she smiled.

"Well, you aren't sick," she said "you're as cool as a cucumber," Kendall chuckling at how his mother was always so concerned for him She touched his face gently, tipping it to her as she looked at him with a sad expression. "I thought you had gone in the bathroom to take a shower or were up here doing some homework. All the guys are downstairs playing video games, baby. It's only 9:00. There's a reason you're up here, and I want to know why," she whispered softly, running her fingers softly along Kendall's sleek blonde locks. Kendall sighed and closed his eyes, knowing that his mother would never stop searching if she didn't find what she was looking for. She was definitely a treasure hunter, as if Kendall was the map to read, and the truth was her own personal form of reward. He was up here because he was tired, but also because he just needed to think some things over in his head, about Stella, about his father, about this opportunity he was given. It was all just a big bowl of mush in his head right now, and he was trying to sort it out the best he could.

"I just wanted to be alone for a little bit. I woke up early today, and I'm tired, and we have a long day tomorrow. Nothing is wrong, mom. I promise," Kendall said, trying his best to lie. It wasn't like he was telling her a _total _lie. It wasn't like Stella was hiding in the closet across the room, or that Kendall had beaten up James without telling his mother. He just didn't want to have to worry her with his petty little problems when she had a daughter, and three other kids to worry about, even though deep in his heart, he knew that his mother would kill to know what was wrong with him.

"That's what you told me back home, when_** everything**_ was wrong," Kim said with a chuckle, gently tracing her son's hand with a smile. Kendall chuckled and shrugged under the covers with a small smile on his face, looking up at his mother, knowing she was right. Kim sighed and traced Kendall's face with a smile, her expression falling a bit. "I know that I'm not your father Kendall, and that I never will be," Kim said softly, causing Kendall's eyes to look straight up at her in fear and confusion unto what she bringing up. "But, I'm-I'm really glad that you're starting to talk to me more, about everything that is going on with your life," she whispered out with a smile and nod. Kendall nodded and swallowed hard, knowing his mother wanted to put their newfound relationship out in the open.

"Well, it just took a bit of time, mom," Kendall said to her. "I don't expect you to understand why it did, but it did. It took me a lot to tell you the things I was so used to telling dad," Kendall spoke out softly. Kim moved closer to him and nodded, understanding her son completely. "I guess, I never wanted to disappoint you if I messed up," he whispered out softly with a smile, "or Katie." Kim smiled at her son, knowing of his good heart and she sighed with chuckle.

"I know there is no relationship like a father, son relationship, baby. I understand that completely, but, you left me out in the dark of so many things that happened to you while you were growing up, and I know it might be awkward to tell me some stuff because I'm **not** a guy, and I don't get it," she said, mocking her son's voice to which Kendall smiled, "but you can't keep everything bottled up inside anymore, alright?" she asked him. "I mean, look at what happened when you did? You nearly ruined your friendship with James, and with Logan," she spoke out softly, as Kendall nodded, taking the heat completely. "And I don't ever want to see you get angry like that because you are keeping everything up inside, alright?" she said. Kendall nodded, a bit ashamed of his actions and Kim realized how sorry and somber the boy really looked.

"Sometimes, I wonder how lucky I am to have you and Katie," Kim said smiling. "What did I do to deserve two absolutely wonderfully strong, loving, caring children?" she whispered with a smile, pushing Kendall's bangs back with ease.

"You were a great mom, and you still are," Kendall smiled, chuckling, sitting more upright in his bed. "And you always will be," he added on. Kim smiled at her son and rested her hand over his as he looked down, and then up at her with a smile.

"You've grown up in _considerable _amounts since your father's accident, Kendall. And just—just watching you become a man is so breathtakingly beautiful," Kim said with a smile, causing her first born to blush considerably and look down embarrassed. "You are learning to take responsibility for your actions, and as hard as it is for you to get past everything that's happened in the last year or so, you're trying your best," she said with a smile, taking his hand in hers and giving it a small squeeze. "And I know you are doing everything you possibly can to start fresh," she added.

Kendall nodded with wide eyes and sighed deeply, looking at him and his mother's intertwined fingers with a large smile. Even though Kim and Kendall weren't as close as they should have been when Kris was alive, it was better late than never. While surprised with her reactions towards his revelations the past few weeks, Kendall never ceased to understand exactly how his mother worked. While she was different from many other of his friend's moms, he took great pride in the fact that she raised him and the Katie the way in which they would understand their mistakes, instead of being punished for them, as many other parents did. Kendall had begun to think that his mother was just going easy on him because of his rough year, but after thinking it over, and truly understanding what his mother meant, the respect he had for her skyrocketed tremendously from its already high peak, opening doors of communication between the once walled out souls.

"Remember, what you said to me…about love?" Kendall asked Kim with a small, subtle grin on his face, biting his plump lower lip nervously. Kim nodded and moved herself more comfortably on the bed, trying to think back to what she had said to the boy, knowing he was taking her advice and opening up to her again.

"When?" she asked with pursed lips as Kendall sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"When you told me, that sometimes, you have to let the people you love go?" he told her with sad, heavy eyes, his heart beating fast. Kim nodded at her son and smiled.

"Yeah, what about it?" she asked him. Kendall looked up at her with concerned, sunken eyebrows, his face looking pathetic for answers as he took a deep sigh.

"How I can I do it without it being _**so**_ hard?" he asked her quietly, allowing the small lock on all of his emotion to come seeping out between his lips in an effortless whisper. Kendall turned his head away from his mother's for a few seconds, a silent understand between the two. Kim sighed, bringing her hand to his chin to softly gear it back towards her face so she could look him in the eyes. As she touched her son's face, she felt a tear fall from his eye onto her hand and her heart dropped as Kendall refused to turn his head towards her. He didn't want to cry in front of her, especially not after that whole schpeel about him becoming this beautiful man. He had to stop crying, seeing as he was chock full of tears the past few weeks, and it was getting quite embarrassing.

"Kendall," Kim whispered, trying to gear him so he would look at her. The boy took his hand to his eye and shamefully battered away the tear that fell, his insides angry at himself for crying. He looked at his mother in the eyes and bit his lower lip, taking a deep breath and ceasing the rest of the tears that threatened to fall, his eyes still glassy. "I know it's hard, honey. But it's for the best, and it'll get better," she spoke softly nodding, "I promise." Kendall licked the chap from his lips and let out a small, sarcastic scoff with a smile.

"How would you know, mom? You and dad were the perfect couple," Kendall said softly. "You never really fought, you loved each other all the time, you always were happy together, it was like out of a story book," Kendall joked out. Kim smiled and nodded no, closing her eyes with a small laugh at what her son had taken upon himself to assume.

"Me and your father were **not** the perfect couple, sweetheart. We had some pretty nasty fights before you or Katie were born, where your father would get so worked up about something, that he would just scream, and yell, and stomp around," Kim said with a small sigh, looking into Kendall's eyes. Kendall cocked his head a bit confused, contorting his face with a chuckle, not believing the words that were coming out of his mother's mouth.

"Really?" he asked confused and surprised. Kendall couldn't remember a time his father was ever **really **angry or upset about something, even after the Wild lost the Stanley Cup a few years back to the Penguins in a shootout game 7. It seemed that Kris always kept himself together, even when he was angry at his son.

"Yes. Your father and I had some pretty vicious fights in the beginning of our marriage that I'm very thankful neither you or Katie ever had to witness," Kim said with a smile, the memory of her late husband slowly incapacitating her mind as she looked at her son, seeing the similarities between the two.

"I never would've thought that about dad," Kendall said surprised, Kim giving him a smile.

"Well, your father was **very** passionate with whatever he did," she spoke out, Kendall immediately smiling, "like someone _else_ I know," she finished with a chuckle. The boy seemed very interested in this, not knowing this side of his parent's marriage, sitting up even more alert in bed, turning to his mother.

"Well, what did you used to fight about?" he asked her, bringing his hands to rest atop his knees. Kim looked up at the sky, pondering what specific fight she could use to tell her son, one that she remembered very well, when suddenly a smile came across her face.

"Okay, I got a story," she said chuckling. Kendall smiled at her and Kim sighed and closed her eyes, trying to think back to the place where she had been nearly 17 years ago. "It was around…March or so I believe, and your father and I had been sitting down for the past few days talking about whether or not we wanted to move from the apartment we were living in about a town or two away from the house," Kim said, Kendall listening intently as she sighed and smiled. "Your father didn't want to spend the extra money on a house right then because he was just starting at the company where he worked and had a pretty low salary, and I wanted to move into a new house right away, because the apartment was falling apart, and the area around it wasn't the best," Kim told him. Kendall nodded, looking up at his mother with intent, green eyes. "And your father was _**so**_ adamant that we didn't have enough money, and that we needed to wait until he got a raise, and I had been feeling sick the past week or two, so I wasn't in a good mood to start with. We got into this huge argument about it, and it of course escalated into something more about than just the house, as does every argument between two people, especially those who love each other," she said, "and we exchanged some really hurtful words." Kendall nodded, remember how the argument he had with Stella had started with her trying to comfort him, and trying to be there for him and blown up in both of their faces. He wondered if his father had ever hit his mother like Kendall did to Stella, but quickly felt shame even thinking about the question, or wanting to ask it.

"What did you say to each other?" Kendall asked specifically. Kim sighed and nodded her head, closing her eyes to bring her back to the fight again, knowing exactly how it unfolded, or at least part of it.

"I don't remember _everything _we said, but the one thing that I'll **never **forget, is being by the window of our apartment in a pink shirt and black pants, crying and shoving my finger in your father's face," Kim said, "and I told him that if our marriage was going to work, that we needed to compromise," she told her son with a small smile. Kendall nodded, agreeing with his mother and looking at her oddly as she swallowed hard and laughed, "and your father told me that maybe he didn't want the marriage to work out, and that we wanted too many different things it, and maybe we weren't right for each other since we fought all the time," she ended with a sigh, as Kendall looked on a bit horrified at the words that came from his father's mouth. How could his dad **ever** think that, when his parents were **so** incredibly made for each other?

"D-dad_ really_ said that you?" he asked her, the timeless fairytale romance Kendall had created in his head falling apart with each word his mother said. Kim nodded and laughed.

"Oh yeah, he screamed it to me," she added. "And then we fought aimlessly for about another five minutes, cursing and screaming before your dad walked out of the apartment and left me crying in the living room," Kim said, totally unaffected by the memory Kendall found so absolutely shocking.

"All over a _house_?" he asked her as if he couldn't fathom it. Kim nodded.

"All over a house," she said. Kendall looked up at her with innocent, curious eyes and a smile came across his face, his eyebrows furrowing a bit.

"Who won?" he asked with a small chuckle.

"Neither of us really _won_, but we _**were**_forced to move into a house that summer anyway," Kim said happily and brightly. Kendall looked at her confused as she reached out her hand to touch his blonde locks affectionately.

"Why? What happened?" he asked her curiously. Kim smiled at him, touching his hair, and adoring her son's innocence and wonder.

"You did," Kim said with a smile wider than Kendall had seen it in a while. Kendall furrowed his eyebrows a bit confused with a smile on his face. "We found out a week or so later that the reason I wasn't feeling well was because I was pregnant with you," she said softly, "and your father couldn't have been happier, Kendall," she told him, with a bit of wavering emotion in her voice, "I don't think I had ever seen him that happy before." Kendall smiled and looked down a bit embarrassed as Kim took a deep breath. "Relationships take a lot of work, sweetheart. It takes two people, trying at it, every single day of their lives, wanting to make it work more than anything in the world," she said to him, making sure Kendall understood. "Some cases are like me and your father, where there are momentary lapses of judgment in one another which leads to fights, and name calling," she continued, "but sometimes, as **much** as you may love another person, you have to be mature enough to realize that you aren't the best option for them, and that they aren't the best option for you. And true love is allowing that person to go out into the world, and find the one they fit with, even if it isn't you," she finished.

Kendall looked up at his mother in awe, with a soft, sullen smile on his face. He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes hopeless, nodding in his hands, as he looked up at her with confused, truthful eyes. "How will I know?" he asked her.

"You'll know, trust me," Kim said smiling at him. There was a moment of silence between the mother and son before Kendall looked up at her again and asked her the question he had been dying to ask her since revealing Stella to her so long ago.

"Do you think…Stella is right for me?" he asked her in a whisper. Kim sighed with a frown and moved closer to him, planting a kiss atop his forehead and stroking the back of his hair affectionately.

"Only **you** know who's right for you, Kendall," she whispered to his forehead, pulling away with a smile. Kendall looked at her and shrugged his shoulders annoyed, flopping back on his bed as she chuckled.

"Get a good night's sleep, alright? I'll see you in the morning," she said getting up from his bed as the boy cuddled back into his covers. Kim got up and began to walk out.

"Mom," Kendall said weakly from his bed, as Kim turned around in the doorway with a smile. He took in the image of his strong, and independent mother protecting him at his doorway and smiled. He had never felt more at peace the past few weeks as he had right now, talking to the one person who was going to love him no matter how he screwed up he was. "I love you," he said with a small smile that even if the dark of night Kim saw easily as she replied with a smile.

"I love you too, baby."

* * *

"So why'd you ask me out anyway, James?" the beautiful, tall, tan girl in front of him asked with an alluring smile and a soft chuckle.

"Cause I like you," James said confidently, crossing his arms and leaning them on the table with a smirk, as Lianna sighed and rolled her eyes, a small smile on her face.

James had done it right. He had taken Lianna to a small little French place a corner of Sunset Boulevard, after much discussion with Kim about driving around LA. If it was Minnesota, she would have no problem with James taking the small, silver rental car she had been graced with, compliments of Rocque Records, but this was Los Angeles. Every single street was filled with traffic, bad drivers, people biking, people walking, and about a million other traffic obstacles that could be in James' way. It was definitely a "discussion" that had James beyond upset, feeling he was sixteen and old enough to drive, but Kim refused with crossed arms and a raised brow, telling her "son" that since she was in charge of him, she had to make sure that he was safe at all times, and that meant following her rules and being cautious. James had to admit, he was a little bummed that he wouldn't able to drive Lianna around like he wanted to, but after Kim suggested James use the limo that the boys had been provided with, he didn't contest. Now, at 8:00 PM, with the sun nearly completely gone, James and Lianna sat at a quiet table, with a white linen table cloth on underneath two salad plates, two glasses of sweet tea and a candle in the middle. He had pulled back her chair for her when she sat, ordered her drink for her and of course complimented her beauty countless times since arriving.

And as hard as it was for him, James didn't want to touch her in any way, shape or form that would give her the wrong idea. And there were to be no "wrong ideas" until he was **certain** he could give her the right one.

James had to admit, Lianna looked absolutely beautiful. The way her soft black hair fell down her shoulders, her smile with soft pink lips, her arms absolutely flawless and tanned, along with her legs that seemed to go on for miles and miles. The yellow and orange print dress she wore accentuated her body in all the right ways, making James overactive mind work its gears overtime as he followed the plunging neckline down to her hips, to her legs to the strappy heels she wore.

"And I hope that maybe, I can get you to like me," James said with a smile, reaching over and touching her hand delicately. Feeling her warm hand in his, James had a feeling this was going to be incredibly easy, and he smile got wider as Lianna looked at him with a chuckle, her eyes bright and her smile infectious.

"Well, you can _try_," she said deviously, raising an eyebrow at him. James chuckled, rubbing her hand gently, making a bet with himself in his mind that he could get Lianna in bed with him in two dates, instead of the usual three. It would be a challenge, but definitely not impossible with the way she was acting. He felt her touch melt into him, and how she wantonly let him take advantage of her hand, James wondering what else he could possibly take advantage of. There was something about Lianna that made her sexier than any girl he had ever been with in Minnesota, and the fact that he hadn't had a lay since his parents left on their vacation a few weeks ago had made James, for the lack of a better word hornier, than he could ever remember.

"Okay, well how can I do that?" James asked valiantly, shooting Lianna his award winning smile, and gently allowing his silky bangs to fall over his eyes. She shrugged and abruptly pulled her hand away from his, crossing her arms at her chest, flipping her hair over her shoulder with a sinister chuckle.

"**You** tell me," she said leaning back in her chair a bit, as James moved back from the table in his own a chair a bit confused by what she was proposing. "Start feeding me all your lies," she said snidely, looking James up and down with a grin. Did he not just have her eating out of the palm of his hand a second ago? Lianna's sudden attitude threw James for a loop as he smiled widely, not understanding what she was saying, thinking that she just being cute or flirty with him.

"W-what are you talking about?" James asked with a nervous chuckle, pushing his bangs from his face with an odd smile, chewing on his lower lip. Lianna moved her body forward, resting her forearms on the table as she sighed and smiled.

"I know who you are, James. There is no hiding," Lianna said seductively, biting her lower lip with anxiousness as James held onto the table, his back straight up against his seat, very confused. He had absolutely no idea what Lianna was talking about, and the way her face looked a bit devious, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear this.

"W-what?" he asked her nervously, trying his best to keep his cool and relax. Lianna then sat back in her chair again, quite amused as the restaurant bustled with people around them, the soundtrack of waitresses and waiters the only thing filling the silence between them.

"Oh come **on**, James. Look at you. You are a pretty boy. You are one of those guys who go out with girls, feed them charming talk, take them to fancy restaurants," she said, motioning to the scene with her hands, "and then hope to get something out of it lets see…on the fourth date? Or is it the third?" Lianna said smugly, looking at James directly in the eyes, seeing right through all the bullshit that he had fed her since arriving here.

James couldn't believe it. Not_ once_ had an innocent girl he had corrupted ever called him out on his usual game plans, but then again that was Minnesota. Were California girls really _**that **_different? James swallowed nervously played with his hands on the table, trying to find some possible way to persuade Lianna otherwise, so he could get at least somewhere with her on the next few dates. He couldn't give a girl this beautiful up, and James knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he needed her. It was like she had some effect on him, that James didn't understand in the slightest. From the moment James had picked her up at apartment 6L, and she had walked out the door looking up at him with that smile, his heart had been beating irregularly. James never felt this way about girls before, even if they were as attractive as Lianna. This was definitely some new sort of feeling for him, and James tried his best to push it away by defending himself against her assumption.

"That's not true, way to just assume," James squealed defensively, grabbing the table tightly, trying to somehow hope that Lianna wouldn't be able to tell he was lying. He looked into her eyes and saw the fierceness, and a flash of pain come over them, her smirk faltering but then picking back up a second later.

"People talk, asshole. I've heard more about you from people this week then I could count. You've been here what, a week or so, and yet, everyone knows exactly what your game is James. And I'm your first catch aren't I?" Lianna said with an entertained chuckled, crossing her legs under the table, hitting James' calf a bit violently. He silently cursed himself and went to rub it as Lianna sighed. "I know **a lot** about boys like you, James. And I'm **not **about to fall into this little trap to get me into bed, alright? I've heard it, I've been close to it, I know more about it than any other girl that you are gonna find here, so don't even **think **about trying it with me, alright? Cause it's **not** gonna work," she stated proudly, low enough for her voice to be quiet, but louder than a whisper. James was shocked at her rude attitude, but all in all, his affection for Lianna just grew and grew, as he became more lost in her upset movements, her narrowed eyes and her sinister smile, even though the words that were coming out of her mouth were not friendly.

"Wow…you-you really have the nerve to try to sum me up, you don't even **know** me, alright?" James said defensively, looking at her with a sarcastic chuckle and pointing a finger at her. "You have **no** idea _what_ kind of guy I am, and who gave you all the power in the world to assume that I'm some asshole who is gonna get you into bed, and then never call you again?" he asked her angrily, his face flushed as the restaurant continued to busy around them. "Who the hell do you think you are?" he asked her outright, chuckling at her with anger.

"You thought it was _so_ easy to take me out on a date, didn't you? You push me in the pool, and then act like I'm some innocent little girl who could only be apologized to by having the honor of going out with you. It's people like you who piss me off," she said with rage, keeping her voice low but her eyes locked on James' hazel ones, licking her lips with determination. "You just assume that every girl in the world is going to go out with you, and give you **just** what you want."

"I was being nice to you because I felt bad that I accidentally pushed you, alright? Sorry for being a gentleman about it and offering to take you out, like I did," James said angrily. "Jeez, I mean what the fuck is wrong with you to nicely and politely agree to go out with me and then totally freak out on me out of nowhere? You're pretty, but not _that_ pretty," James spat out, choking on the last part, knowing it was a huge lie, and that Lianna was absolutely gorgeous. There was silence as the girl fell back in her seat a bit, licking her lips softly.

"Wow. Pretty? That's all that matters, isn't it, James?" Lianna said taken aback, a bit hurt by the statement, the corners of her mouth turning from sly to upset. James sighed and sat back in his chair, looking at her near exhausted, swallowing hard and sighing deeply. He tapped his fingers on the table and looked up at her with a sigh, pushing his bangs from his face and sighing deeply, as the restaurant continued to bustle around them, silence between them.

Lianna looked up at her counterpart, and saw the upset in his eyes, but knew it was there for a reason. James did seem a little angry about what Lianna had said to him, but he was more upset than anything. Upset that this girl had figured him out before he got a chance to even try to play the game, sort of like when Logan ruined movies for the guys by telling them the ending before they even got fifteen minutes in. His eyes were out of focus, staring down at the elegant silverware on his napkin, as he played with the edge of his fork lazily and awkwardly. Lianna took a deep breath and swallowed hard, running a hand through her hair and biting her lower lip.

"Listen, I'm sorry," she said softly, changing the entire demeanor of the conversation. James looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and sat up in his seat as she sighed deeply, looking at him in the eyes with a broken, ached face, her eyes weighing down her mouth to a frown, her shoulders slumped and tired.

"Now…you're sorry? For just totally freaking out on me…out of nowhere?" James asked annoyed with her, but seeing the regret and anger behind the girls eyes.

"You just…you pissed me off, alright?" she said angrily with a chuckle, licking her lips with a deep breath, looking at James straight in the eye.

"What did I even do? I was_ trying_ to be nice!" James said defensively, somewhat lying through his teeth again. Lianna looked at him with a knowing glance, and the boy sighed rolling his eyes at her. "Okay, **fine,**" he said, putting his hands up in surrender, "I **did** think that maybe I could kiss you on the first date, or something like that cause your hot," James admitted with a sly grin. Lianna blushed a bit and looked at him.

"I thought I wasn't _**that**_ pretty?" she asked him with a raise eyebrow. James rolled his eyes again and sat forward in his chair.

"That…I'll _admit_ was a lie," he said with a soft chuckle. Lianna looked at him and nodded, crossing her arms across her chest with a definitive smile across her face, James smiling back at the cute dimples she had on her cheeks.

"Just, I don't know. The way guys think how they can get anything they want from a pretty girl, it just bothers me sometimes," she said annoyed, picking her nails and looking down at her place setting upset. "I know you were trying to be nice and all, but, it's like you just assumed I would go out with you and do whatever you wanted me to, I don't know—" she trailed off softly, James peering down at her face to where it had completely dropped, "I guess I felt stupid about it or something and I wanted to call you out on it," she said, taking a deep breath. "And now I'm not even making sense," she chuckled to herself, fixing her gaze back up to James. He smiled at her for the first honest time that night, nothing about her looks causing the outbreak on his face, but rather her soft voice, incredible spunk, and all around good attitude about this. James had to admit, she had called him out, in public, and basically tricked him into thinking she was a sure bet when she was just the opposite. If this was anyone else, James would've been beyond pissed, but with Lianna he really didn't mind.

It scared him a bit.

It scared him a **lot.**

"No, I guess understand," James said softly, nodding his head. He looked up at her with a small smile, being totally honest with her. "Listen, I'll be honest with you. You were totally right, okay?" he chuckled out, sitting back in his chair. "I guess I'm what you girls would call a man-whore, or a player or whatever, cause I…**date**…a lot, and I really don't have any serious girlfriends," James said nervously and upset, hoping the fact that he had sex with these girls was implied and that he wouldn't have to say it. Lianna seemed to understand him and widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows in surprise with a small chuckle.

"So did you ask me out…just because you thought you would get something in return?" Lianna asked him.

James swallowed hard, and looked into her eyes. He definitely didn't want to tell her the truth, but for some reason, James felt that if he did, Lianna wouldn't act like normal girls would, throw a napkin in his face, and stomp out of the restaurant, leaving him to sit there and enjoy his Chicken Cordon Bleu alone. She would in her own twisted way understand him, and it was something that James had never really come into contact with. As he looked in Lianna's eyes, he felt a part of her close herself off from him, something she was guarding. He could tell by the way she kept her arms close to her, her lips tightly thinned, and her fingers tightly wound in one another, as if something was threatening to escape from her body, over her free will to control it. He didn't know what it was, but it troubled the boy. Although he knew that telling her this would effectively ruin any type of hookup James could be guaranteed, he threw caution to the wind, and forgot about the consequences.

"I guess I did," James said effortlessly, the honest truth passing through his lips like a ghost of a whisper. He hadn't even realized how submissive he was being to Lianna at the moment, and truthfully didn't mind. "I'm sorry," he said softly, looking into her eyes with the utmost regret.

It was the first time James Diamond had ever been honest with a girl.

"Well, then I guess I'm not really the girl for you," Lianna spoke softly.

"I guess not," the two teens exchanging glances filled with unspoken chemistry, and raw understanding of their situation.

And in that moment, James found something he hadn't had since elementary school.

A crush.

* * *

Kendall tossed and turned in his bed, his eyes closed, but his body awake. He had gone through a succession of temperature change at least five times in the last hour, changing his pants to just boxers, then back to pants and boxers, coupled with different settings of the ceiling fan, and finally deciding whether with the top sheet or without it. By the time it was 10, Kendall lay on top of his comforter, in baggy sweatpants with a white t-shirt on. He alternated his gaze from the window and the stars, back up to the ceiling fan, trying his best to somewhat close his eyes and get some sleep in the uncomfortable chilly, but stuffy room.

As tired as he was, he knew that at this rate of thinking, and the philosophies going through his head, that he was never going to get to go to sleep. There was a slight sweat accumulating at the back of his neck as he sighed uncomfortably, looking over at the clock and how it read 10:04. He could still hear the muffled shouts from Carlos and Logan at the television and sighed, looking up at the ceiling and wondering if should just forgo sleep and join Carlos and Logan downstairs.

Not wanting to move although, Kendall decided against it and turned onto his side, nuzzling more into the pillow and closing his eyes. He let his mind take him off into this imagination, trying his best to somehow entertain himself as he drifted off into sleep. In a matter of time, Kendall's breaths began to slow as he imagined himself on tour with the guys, playing sold out arenas, playing Times Square and performing for millions of fans as his brain began to slip from conscious thoughts into ones that were purely imagination.

_Kendall woke up in a fury, sweat dripping down his face, and his breathing heavy._

_He looked around his surroundings in a desperate attempt to figure out where he was, swallowing hard and confused. He saw that he was in some kind of living room, sitting on a black leather couch, with a huge big screen TV in front of him. His breathing was violent, as he swallowed hard and ran his hands through his hair, it being much shorter than usual. This place looked a bit familiar to him, but he just couldn't put his finger on it._

_He sat up on the couch, his knees a bit shaky and took a deep sigh in, rubbing his eyes. He felt overheated, and had one hell of a headache, his hands shaking a bit. His stomach growled with hunger, and his throat was dry, and it seemed like the room was spinning. He definitely must've had some sort of nightmare or something of the other._

"_Kendall, can you help me in the kitchen for a sec?" he heard a feminine voice say, the sweet sound of her words sending a bit of a pleasant chill up Kendall's spine. The boy got up, noticing he was in his regular attire, and he walked in the direction of where he suspected the kitchen was, right behind the living room. As he stepped on the creaky, shiny wood floor, Kendall felt a bit lightheaded and dizzy, the sticky humidity on his face making him even more heated. _

_As he made a right into the stainless steel kitchen, he saw the back of a blonde woman at the counter, chopping vegetables. He looked up and down her a bit confused, her long blonde curls cascading down her back, her small, petite hourglass figure in tight jeans, black heels, and a frilly red shirt. He saw a pot of water on the stove, along with a pan filled with peppers and onions, among some other culinary utensils on the countertops. He looked to his left and saw a formal dining room set up for four people, the blue walls and the sun peeking through them creating a scene set for a painting. Delicate china graced the table, along with tall, thin glasses and a platter of appetizers sat in the center. He looked back at the girl standing at the counter, and moved closer to her, his heart beating, totally confused to who she was. _

"_W-who are you?" he asked her, a bit afraid to see the face turn around. The girl stopped chopping vegetables at the counter, putting the knife down and turned around on one heel, Kendall's eyes going wide at the revelation._

_Stella._

"_Are you trying to be silly?" she asked him with a small smile and a sweet voice._

_Stella looked as beautiful as Kendall ever saw her. Her face was made up beautifully, her soft pink lips coated with gloss, thick black eyeliner under her eyes, brown eyeshadow accentuating the beautiful bright blue of her irises, and a thin layer of blush shadowing her cheek bones. Her teeth were perfectly white and a bit crooked, her blonde eyebrows perfectly groomed, and now furrowed at the site of Kendall's confusion. She definitely did not look like any sort of runaway. She looked absolutely breathtaking and healthy. He swallowed hard, his heart beating out of his chest, as he looked up and down her, shaking his head, not believing what he was seeing._

"_W-what are you doing here?" he asked her in shock. "Where am I?" Stella looked at him oddly, moving closer to him and slowly sliding her arms around his neck with a chuckle. The second her arms came into contact with the skin of Kendall's neck, his body instantly melted into hers, the feeling of tight tingles on his skin enveloping his entire body as her manicured nails touched the back of his head, scratching the soft skin gently._

"_What am I doing here? I'm cooking dinner for your parents, babe," Stella said to him nonchalantly, "and we're in __**our**__ house," she giggled. "Remember? The one that we found abandoned on our long walk," she added in suggestively, leaning up and gently pecking his lips. The second Stella's lips touched Kendall's, his entire mind turned to putty, the spark from her kiss electrifying through his whole body, his mind going back to how it was when they had first met on the deck. His hands went around her waist without any hesitation, holding her closer to him. Stella began to pull away, but Kendall refused to let her, enveloping her lips in a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue slowly entering her mouth. The sweet mint taste from her mouth was still there, the scent traveling from Kendall's mouth, up to his head and then to his nose, not being able to stop kissing her. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to tell her he was sorry for everything that he did, but he couldn't tear away from her. His hands moved more to her backside, his head arching as he did his best to remember exactly what Stella loved about his kisses, nuzzling his nose with hers as he nibbled on her bottom lip a bit._

"_**Ahem.**__"_

_Kendall and Stella broke their kiss with the presence of someone new in the kitchen, both parting slowly, lost in each other's eyes as Stella gave Kendall a funny, confused look, her eyes then going to the person who had just entered the kitchen._

"_Was I interrupting something?" the man said playfully. Kendall's entire body froze, as he closed his eyes, staying entirely still. Kendall knew that voice. The voice that sang him to sleep, the voice that shouted in encouragement on the ice, the voice that Kendall hadn't heard in a year._

_There was no way._

"_How are you, Mr. Knight?" Stella giggled energetically with a smile, gently pushing Kendall aside, and wiping her lips awkwardly. Kendall turned around with wide eyes, his heart stopping at the sight before him._

_There his father._

_Kristopher was dressed in a suit and tie combination, the same one that Kendall remembered from the last day he had seen his father alive, a black pinstripe suit with a light blue shirt underneath and a dark blue tie. Kendall looked at his father with wide eyes, not being able to take his eyes off the man who he had missed. Kris looked happy as could be, his green eyes shining as he engulfed Stella in a big, tight hug, both parties chuckling at the contact. He had no scratches on his face, no cuts or bruises of any kind like Kendall had seen from him in California._

"_You get prettier every time I see you, Stella," Kris said with a smile, releasing Stella from their hug and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Kendall stepped forward cautiously, wondering if his father could even see him. "My son is a lucky man to be marrying you," he chuckled out._

_Kendall's eyes got wide. Marry? His eyes instantly went to Stella's left hand, where a huge diamond engagement ring was, Kendall in a panic and his breathing getting heavier. He…he and Stella were getting married? He had proposed? This didn't make sense. He was still sixteen, Stella was still sixteen. What was going on?_

"_Well I'm a lucky woman to be marrying him," Stella said with a smile, looking back at her fiancé. "Where is Mrs. Knight?" Stella asked confused, with a smile on her face._

"_Talking to one of the neighbors, she'll be in soon," Kris said, his eyes falling on Kendall's with a smile. Kendall looked at his father in complete and utter shock, swallowing hard, his lower lip shaking. He had seen his father after his death, but never this clearly, where Kendall could see every marking on his face, every unshaven hair from his beard, every vein on his neck. Tears were on the brim of his eyes, but no matter how hard he tried to squeeze them out, they wouldn't fall down his cheeks. His body seemed a bit frozen as Stella looked at the two with a smile, returning back to Kendall and slinging an arm around his waist, pulling him towards her._

"_You just gonna stand there, bud?" Kris said to his son with a smile on his face, the same raised eyebrow Kendall had donned all these years. Kendall walked up to his father slowly, as if a time warp was going through him. Each step he took, the faster his heart beat. Kendall stood only inches from his father, and he slowly reached out his hand to touch his shoulder, being able to fully grasp it, as more tears came to Kendall's eyes. A single tear fell from his cheek, as he looked up into his father's eyes, his voice shaky and his breaths heavy._

"_You're…you're real," he whispered softly, swallowing hard. Kris looked at the boy a bit confused, as Stella came up beside Kendall, and touched his arm softly. She couldn't see the tear that fell down his cheek, but she was concerned with his behavior since he had woken up. He seemed a bit out of it._

"_Kendall, are you alright?" Stella asked him gently. Kendall turned to her, and she smiled up at him softly, her beautiful face mapped with concern. Kendall was terrified that if he didn't go along with this, that somehow, his father would get angry, or that maybe if he asked if this was real too many times, it wouldn't be. He closed his eyes and nodded, sighing deeply and smiling, accepting the fact that his father was in front of him._

"_I'm—I'm fine, I just, I'm just a little disoriented from my nap," he lied, putting on a smile towards Stella, looking up towards his father again. Stella smiled and kissed Kendall's arm, before heading back to the stove to finish cooking._

"_Too old to hug your father?" Kris asked Kendall with a laugh, sticking his hands in his pockets and smiling. Kendall's breath got caught in his throat a bit and he swallowed hard, looking at how happy Kris looked. Kendall had dreamed of this day. The day he could hug his father again, the day he could hear his father's voice so clearly, and see his face as he was before the accident. It was a dream come true._

"_Never," Kendall spoke out gently, leaning into throw his arms around the man. The second Kendall felt his father's arms around him, he wanted nothing more than to break down.. He had dreamed of this moment since his father had died. To feel the rough callused hands of the man he loved most, hug him tightly, and tell him that he loved him, and was proud of him. It was a godsend as Kendall took in the scent his father radiated, smelling like his cologne that his mother had gotten him for Christmas. _

_It was perfect._

_It was real._

Kendall shot up in bed, his breathing heavy as he looked around his dark, dismal room. He was covered with sweat, his throat dry and his head pounding. His entire body shook and he looked down seeing that he was in bed, back in California. He turned to the clock at his nightstand and it read 3:34. Kendall saw Logan soundly sleeping across from him, his small breaths creating a small hissing sound in the room, a smile on his sleeping face.

Kendall's eyes were filled with tears as he hung his head, his entire body shaking. As if a dream with him and Stella happy wasn't bad enough, but now his father was there. Kendall covered his face and sighed, blinking out a few tears, his hands shaking as he ran through his hair, unsure of what to make of his dream.

It was perfect.

It was fake.


	26. Markings of True Love

**A/N: I think you guys will enjoy this chapter of Hooked. It's very James/Logan centric, and less Kendall centric ;D Enjoy!**

**And of course like always, enjoy this wonderful snippet from waterwicca's ****Past The Sorrow**** which you should read foreber**

On the drive over, Kendall even talked himself into believing this might be a good experience for him, but, almost as soon as he arrived, he remembered why he never fit in with his peers in Ramsey, North Dakota… They were all too normal; too innocent, foolish, and ignorant to the real, dark, cruel world that they were a part of. Kendall has seen the darkness, and you can't pretend that is doesn't exist once you've been in the thick of it. In all honesty, he was a little jealous of the other teens, especially the young, blissful couples. He and Sage deserved that…

Kendall parked his car on the edge of the large and secluded property. The party location was on the outskirts of town on an abandoned plot of land. There was an old, condemned house that had never been torn down, and the teenagers of Ramsey declared it their official party house. The grass outside was already littered with garbage, random blue and red plastic cups contrasting with the green grass sprouting with the approaching spring season. Candles and lanterns illuminated the interior of the shabby gray house while the exterior was bright with the headlights of dozens of cars parked crookedly around the grass and dirt driveway set back almost a hundred yards from the main road and hidden in the surrounding forest.

As he moved through the crowd, receiving random greetings from his peers and teammates, Kendall could only think of Sage. He missed her, and his hands itched without her body against them. He made it up the porch and over the wide open threshold before his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Stop thinking about me and have fun!" Sage texted him. Kendall rolled his eyes and replied back quickly.

"Fine! But I don't have to like it. I already see Caleb and Samantha glaring at me… You owe me big time. You're lucky I love you ;D"

Kendall saw no need in lying. She could always tell anyway. It only took less than a minute for her to reply.

"The luckiest… I love you too :)"

Kendall smiled softly, wishing he could kiss Sage, as he slipped his phone back into his jeans, keeping his agitated hands tucked deep in his pockets. He surveyed the open room around him. It seemed as if, with all of the exposed beams and broken drywall, the first floor used to be many smaller rooms but was now one, big, dirty space. The stairs were blocked by piles of wood, everyone agreeing that partying on the second floor of a condemned house would be a bad idea. Caleb Glickman, Samantha Carson, and all of their minions stood near a blazing fireplace guzzling alcohol like they needed it to survive. Kendall snickered to himself. With Caleb's bitch of a mother and Samantha's generally shitty attitude, maybe they did need it… Maybe all of these teens around him coped with life in different ways: alcohol, drugs, sex… Kendall was grateful that he had -

"You're missing Sage, aren't you?" Dustin suddenly appeared beside him with a friendly smirk, wordlessly handing Kendall a water bottle, knowing that, like himself, the boy preferred not to partake in the more dangerous aspects of partying.

"Thanks…" Kendall smiled and took the cold bottle into his fidgeting hands, "… How did you know?" He asked curiously. Dustin seemed to be a naturally calm and perceptive guy, but Kendall didn't think he was being that obvious.

"You got that same goofy look on your face you always have when we're on the ice and you look up at her in the stands," he laughed and swept the brown hair away from his eyes as he took a sip from his own water bottle. Kendall laughed and shrugged, only amused that he wasn't as good at hiding it as he thought. There are worse things to be bad at…

"I just hate spending time away from her," he admitted sheepishly, tossing the bottle back and forth between his restless hands, trying to occupy his mind with something else other than the beautiful blonde girl.

"You act like you see her all the time. It's not like she lives with you," Dustin joked, punching his arm playfully.

"Yeah…" Kendall laughed nervously and shook his head. Everyone knew that he and Sage were unnaturally close, but no one knew of their unconventional living arrangements.

**Yes! You love this so please read AND review! It would make BOTH of us EXTRA happy :D**

**And now, here is the next installment of Hooked. Don't be afraid to read and review, please! I love your reviews, and I've gained some new reviewers that I love :]**

**I don't own anything except Stella and my other OC's.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Six: Markings of True Love_

The four boys sat at the breakfast table the following morning, each with different expressions on their faces for all different reasons. Each of them had their own good, bad, sad or interesting time last night, and the four hadn't been face to face with each other since laying out at the pool the day before.

Carlos looked absolutely exhausted. The usually tight, healthy skin of the Latino was now dark and baggy under his eyes, the usual sparkle in his iris gone as he lazily scooped up his cereal with his spoon, watching as his oats fell down into the milk with a small splash, sighing deeply. Carlos rested his elbow on the table lazily, leaning on his hand with a sigh. He had stayed up past two last night, trying his hardest to beat the next to last level of his new game. He had emptied out an entire bag of pretzels and three cans of soda before finally calling it quits around 2:15, with a full, bubbly stomach and a migraine beyond all belief. Logan had left him around 9:30 to go grab coffee with Camille downstairs, and while Carlos was a bit saddened to be alone, he realized that now he had no distractions in trying to beat the game. Now, with only five hours of sleep, Carlos knew that it was a **horrible** idea, especially with the fact that the boys were due in the studio today. Gustavo was cranky to begin with, seeing as the boys were just starting out, and he knew that his less than desirable producer would be less than pleased with his demeanor.

"Ugh. It's so fuckin' early," Carlos grumbled out, causing Katie, who sat at the opposite head of the table, to perk up head with a raised eyebrow at the curse. She chuckled at the boy's exhaustion, and his use of the curse word, always finding it funny how the boys let themselves go in front of her.

"Language!" Kim said sternly from the kitchen, unloading the steaming hot dishwasher.

Next to Carlos was Logan, who was positively shining with radiance. His big brown eyes were fresh and excited as he bit his plump lower lip, holding back a shy smile. His right hand rested on the side of his pale neck, rubbing it gently and anxiously. He scooped his cereal with his right, gently shoveling it into his mouth and eating silently, trying to avoid the stares of everyone else, keeping to himself in his own little bubble. What the boys didn't know was that after Logan and Camille had gotten coffee downstairs, Camille had invited Logan back to her apartment to hang out for a little while, seeing as it was only ten when they had finished their lattes. After the two settled on the couch, talking and laughing, with Logan's arm slowly coming around Camille's pasty white shoulders, they began to kiss. There was Logan, on a couch, with a beautiful girl, making out with her like there was no tomorrow. Seeing as Logan had only kissed one girl before, and it wasn't a true kiss, he was elated walking in the door of 2J at nearly 11, his lips a bit swollen, and a large, purple and red bruise on his neck. He thankfully was able to hide it from Kim upon walking in the door, and heading straight to his room with a simple goodnight, but now, even after coating it with some the cover-up she kept under the bathroom sink, Logan's little love bite was totally visible.

James sighed deeply and went to spoon his cereal in his mouth, hitting Logan's elbow in the process, causing his spoonful to splatter onto the middle of the table, causing James to get wide-eyed and angry. Ever since his date with Lianna last night, if you could even call it a date, James had been on edge. After their talk in the restaurant, both had agreed it was way too awkward to sit down and enjoy a dinner together, especially since the food was so expensive there. James and Lianna rode back to the Palm Woods in the limousine silently, the boy twiddling his thumbs and pulling at his shirt collar upset, his mind racking with uncertainties about this. While the two teens, for the lack of embarrassment, tried their best to conjure up some sort of conversation, nothing worked. Everything hit some sort of a dead end, whether it was music, or people they had seen at the restaurant, or even just the weather, it fell flat, usually on James' part. What made it even ten times worse was that James couldn't take his eyes off Lianna, especially when she looked out the window with those eyes. Those eyes that begged to see the Palm Woods in the distance, as she itched under her dress at her leg, James not being able to take his eyes off the beautiful creature in front of him. He drank her up delicious presence greedily, biting his lower lip with frustration and confusion the entire ride there. Fearing returning back not even an hour after his departure, James strolled around Palm Woods park silently, still dressed in the button down shirt and slacks he wore, his head hung the entire way.

Kim sighed, closing the dishwasher.

"Katie, make sure the boys put their stuff in the dishwasher when you're done," she spoke out with a smile, passing the boys and Katie, planting a kiss on the top of her daughter's head and going into her room to do some laundry.

"Sure thing," Katie spoke out with delightful smile, looking at Carlos who seemed totally beyond out of it.

"What'd she say?" he asked Katie confused, the side of his face red from the mark of his hand. Katie did nothing but roll her eyes, as James and Logan again had a clashing of arms, causing more of the agitated boy's cereal to fall on the table.

"Dude, move your fuc-**rickin**' elbow," James caught himself annoyed, nudging Logan's elbow, and violently shifting the boy's elbow to fall down. His hand taken away from his neck, Logan revealed a large, purple bruise in which he quickly hurried to cover up. Both Carlos and James' eyes got wide, as Kendall stared down into his cereal, totally oblivious to the whole situation

That dream had really thrown the boy for a loop.

It was _**everything**_ he had** ever** wanted in that dream. It was seeing Stella, in the house he later figured out to be the abandoned house they had been intimate in, so beautiful and healthy, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. It was seeing his father clearer than Kendall ever had in a dream, actually feeling his touch, and smelling his scent. What did the dream mean? Was it because he talked about Stella today? Or was it because of the talk with his mom? He hadn't the slightest clue where the dream had come from in the realms of his mind, but he knew that the tightness in his chest, and the beating of his heart against his breakable ribcage was the tell-tale truth of what he had experienced. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to sleep last night, between the dream and being uncomfortable from the weather. It was all around a bad combination, and Kendall couldn't wait to take a shower and hopefully wake himself up. He sloshed his soggy cereal around in his bowl, biting his lower lip, before his thoughts were interrupted by a confused James and more energetic Carlos.

"Who gave you that?" James exclaimed loudly enough for Kim to hear in her room, Logan looking at James with a death glare, bringing his hand to his neck to cover up it again, obviously self-conscious and flustered by it. His eyes instantly shot at Katie who looked at the scene confused with a raised eyebrow, the same face on as her brother. Kendall looked at his two best friends across the table in suspicion, not understanding what James had seen, or why Logan was rubbing his neck so nervously.

"What's going on?" Katie asked them confused, Logan fretfully rubbing his neck as James turned to the girl, ready to spill Logan's secret out of envy.

"Logan has a h-"

"Uh, **n-nothing**, Katie. Just…guy stuff…ya know," Logan choked out nervously, looking at James annoyed and upset, the bit of radiance still showing through his skin. He furrowed his eyebrows at the pretty boy who rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair frustrated, crossing his arms across his chest. Carlos' face said it all as he gave Logan a sly punch in the upper arm, to which the boy ducked his head and looked at Carlos with a small, awkward smile. Kendall looked at Logan, having missed everything and then back at Katie, who was looking at him for some kind of answer for his best friends' odd behavior.

Kendall simply shrugged and then looked back at his friends, taking a deep sigh. "What's going on?" he asked dumbfounded. James shot Logan a nasty look, all his bottled in frustrations from the night before crashing down on him, angry at his best friend for getting some when those were his plans for the night. Failed plans, inevitably. Logan chuckled nervously, still rubbing his neck.

"_Pftt, _nothing," he insisted lying horribly, looking down into his cereal bowl, wanting to tell the boys, but knowing Katie was there and that she probably shouldn't hear it. Katie looked from Carlos, to Logan, to James, to her brother and sighed, shaking her head.

"Make sure you idiots put your bowls in the dishwasher when you're done," Katie told them confused, getting up from her seat and walking over to the sink, and placing her bowl in it with a loud cling. "And mine too," she added with a smile, retreating slowly into the hallway leading to her room, all eyes following her out.

"Dude, let me see!" Carlos said immediately upon her exit, hitting Logan's hand from his neck, revealing the large, red and purple hickey on his soft, pale skin. Carlos whooped, ten times more energetic than he had just been moments ago, and looked around at James and Kendall laughing. "Holy shit, Logan! Look at you!" he reveled in the boy, turning his head so the other boys could get a view of Camille's work. Kendall's eyes got a bit wide, never thinking that Logan would have a mark like that, nearly seeing teeth marks all the way up to his pulse point. He tried to remember if he had seen Logan come into their room last night, but then recalled waking up at three in the morning, the boy peacefully sleeping next to him with a smile on his face. Trying to slither from his grasp, Logan hit Carlos' hands away and immediately placed his hand back on his neck, Kendall giving Logan a chuckle of encouragement.

"Was I asleep for _that_ long?" Kendall asked his friend, James silently staring down into his cereal bowl with an angry face on. Logan chuckled and looked at his friends, taking his hand away from his neck awkwardly and sighing.

"Camille texted me last night, and she said she wanted to go for coffee," Logan started off Carlos interrupting with raised eyebrows and a chuckle, looking at Kendall.

"Coffee," he emphasized quietly with air quotes, making Kendall smile and Logan's face turn a bit flusher and roll his eyes.

"Go on," Kendall said, tucking his arms underneath his elbows and leaning forward. He caught James' glazed over stare and was a bit confused about it, before turning his attention back to Logan fully. He figured James would be happy for Logan like he was for Kendall when they had discussed his own love life, but it was then that the blonde realized James had a date last night, and that it probably didn't go the way he wanted it to.

"Well, we had coffee, and then she invited me back up to her apartment, and…well, you can figure out the rest," Logan said bashfully, tucking his hands so they rested like Kendall's and ducking his head awkwardly Carlos giving him a strong pat on the back.

"Damn, my boy is a man," Carlos said. Kendall chuckled and smiled at him.

"Good for you, Logie. Camille's pretty cool," Kendall said with a smile, swirling his spoon back in his cereal, the now dissolving oats creating a disgusting mush in his bowl.

"Jeez, Camille's got some suction," Carlos said intrigued, arching his head to look at the marks, totally enthralled by them as Logan laughed sheepishly. Kendall looked up at James who didn't have a word to say at all, the blonde raising his eyebrow and letting out a soft chuckle, leaning over his bowl stirring aimlessly. James eyes shot up to Kendall dark, and hurt, unlike anything Kendall had ever really seen before. James looked desperate, and upset about something, and Kendall had no idea what had come over him. So many things had happened after he had gone to sleep, and it was like he was waking up with different people this morning.

"What?" James asked sharply, at the boy, his voice bitter and unsure. Kendall looked at James with raised eyebrows and scoffed a bit upset at the boy's voice.

"What happened to **you** last night?" Kendall asked him, causing Logan and Carlos to look over at James with curiosity. James looked at Kendall with a death glare, and then over to Carlos and Logan upset.

"Nothing happened," James said, trying to restore a cheerful demeanor towards the atmosphere of the breakfast table, but he knew that all his friends could see through him easily. They were his best friends, and knew _**everything**_ about him. James sighed defeated, and slumped back in his chair upset, a pout on his face.

"What happened, man?" Carlos asked concerned, Logan's face twisting up when he saw the distress and upset on his best friend's face. James usually always had a cheery demeanor on, except for when his hair was mussed without his consent. Even if James didn't get any on dates, he would always have a positive attitude the day after, and be texting the girl compliments non-stop, hoping for a second chance the next day or the day after tomorrow. But right now, it was if James' date had showed up and was…ugly. Or a man.

"Nothing happened, alright? **Nothing**," James reiterated hopelessly, biting his lower lip angrily as Carlos, Kendall and Logan all gave each other wide-eyed confused stares. They assumed that James' date with Lianna hadn't gone well in the way that James wanted it too.

"But that's okay, James. I mean, you have next time. I'm sure she was just shy the first time," Logan said softly, trying to comfort his best friend with the words that he had dug for inside his own, excited soul, still replaying the events from last night over in his head.

"No, you don't get it, Logan. Nothing is going to happen, alright? Nothing will **ever** happen!" James told him angrily, eyeing the hickey on his neck with jealously. He sighed and hung his head on the table, the boys exchanging looks of complete confusion and curiosity for what happened between James and his date before. James had gotten shut down before, and just recently actually, but the boy always kept his head up high and never even bothered to take a second glance at the girl who said no. "Not slutty enough," he usually said with a chuckle.

"What's wrong bro?" Carlos asked him concerned. James sighed and picked his head up annoyed, looking at his friends with upset stares and glances, falling back in his chair unsure of himself.

"Nothing is going to happen with her," James said angrily, scowling at his best friends. Carlos looked at Kendall and Logan unsure of what the boy meant, as Kendall sighed deeply, taking this one by storm.

"Well, I mean, why don't you just forget about her then? I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of other girls out here, even in the Palm Woods that would want a one-time kinda deal," Kendall said with a false sense of optimism and a trace of disgust in his voice. James sighed annoyed, running his fingers through his bangs awkwardly, biting his lower lip.

Truth was, he didn't want another girl.

He wanted Lianna.

It scared James to no end that he had some sort of "feelings" for this girl, and was so distressed about their date. Normally, James would say "fuck it" and turn his attention to the next girl with long legs, and big breasts, hoping to get a chance with her. But this was like no other for the pretty boy. The image of Lianna's hurt face had stayed in his mind all night, him not being able to think of anything else. He laid in bed last night, trying to sleep, but only thinking of how Lianna had figured his game, and how he hadn't been able to think straight since she had told him. It was like she was some myriad that James couldn't figure out if his life depended on it, but thirsted for more than anything. It was a want, a desire, and a need that he had never really encountered before, and the boy **knew** that it was just going to get worse and worse.

"James?" Kendall asked the boy again, causing him to look up at Kendall with sad, heavy eyes, his lips pulled out into a tight, thin expression.

"She's different," James got out in a mumble, his face turning a bit red with embarrassment. Kendall raised his eyebrow at the boy, his emotionless expression starting to slowly change into a small smile.

"Uh…excuse me?" Kendall asked him, turning his head to the side confused at what he had heard clearly. James looked at Logan and Carlos, who were both confused by the boy's words. James awkwardly looked at them and sighed deeply, a small smile on his face, even though he tried his hardest to combat it.

"She's different okay?" James barked back defensively, biting his lower lip tensely. Carlos smiled, and it spread from Logan to James, to Kendall. All three boys grilled the smiling, hostile brunette in front of them, their ears not believing what they were hearing.

James had just admitted that a girl was different.

"Did that just come out of **your** mouth?" Logan exclaimed surprised with wide eyes, holding James' tense forearm, abandoning the rash on his neck. Carlos and Logan all leaned toward James with badgering eyes. They had never ever, not one seen James upset over a girl, and now, the first girl he tries to lay in California, he think that she is different.

"James has a girlfriend!" Carlos chanted childishly with joy, James shooting him a death glare, and pointing an angry finger at him.

"I do **not** have a girlfriend, alright?" James viciously barked back at him, as if the thought of a girlfriend was the worst thing in the entire world. Kendall chuckled at James defensiveness and Logan nodded at the boy, not taking his eyes off him. He was absolutely intrigued by this. Maybe California was really a new start for all of them he though, rubbing the hickey on his neck. "She's just **different**, that's _all_I said," James told the boys, extending his finger out to all of them with a threatening glare.

Kendall and Logan smirked at each other and Carlos chuckle with an animated grin on his face, the entire atmosphere of the room changing from tired and sluggish to excited and alive.

"So you have a crush on her?" Kendall toyed with him, raising an eyebrow with a smirk on his face. James rolled his eyes, biting his lower lip hard, avoiding eye-contact with the guys. He hadn't told them any of what had happened last night, and truthfully, he really didn't want to discuss it too much.

"No! I don't have _anything_ for her, I just said she was different!" he exclaimed angrily, and upset, not wanting the rhythm of his heart when Lianna was around to deter his feelings, or expose his tiny crush to the guys. "And even if I did, I'm sure it's just cause of how hot she looked last night, so it doesn't matter anyway," James said with a tipped chin, confidently asserting his womanizing ways to his friends. Kendall looked in his eyes.

There was no way that he was telling the truth.

Kendall knew that look.

Heartbreak.

Even in the slightest degree.

"Nope. Not buying it," the blonde said sitting back in his chair with a deep sigh, as James scoffed at him, turning his attention to Carlos and Logan who both had goofy smiles on their faces. James scoffed even louder, obviously annoyed with the fact that the boys were figuring out his feelings.

"Forget it. You wouldn't understand in the slightest," James said bitterly, directing his look out to Kendall specifically. The blonde boy, taking a bit of offense, gave James an odd look, and sighed, trying to keep his anger in check.

"James, listen man, it's not a crime if you like a girl, okay? It was bound to happen sometime," Kendall said, speaking with his hands animatedly.

"I **don't** like her!" James exclaimed defensively and angrily, leaning more towards Kendall with fire in his eyes.

"Well then why are you so upset? Huh?" the blonde boy questioned him with a smirk, and furrowed eyebrows. James swallowed hard, and then looked over at Carlos and Logan, who were both staring at the two boys intently. There were a few moments of silence between them as James backed down from the table with a small smile on his lips, Kendall following suit with a chuckle.

"Exactly. That's what I thought."

* * *

Stella had been staying at the Knight house for a few days now, longer than she had expected to. She had figured she would move on the next day, but every time she woke up, it seemed that she couldn't part with the house, even though it was completely empty. It was as if it was the last thing she of Kendall.

She attempted to drink up every scent of him she possibly could, whether it was from his mattress, or the plaid shirt in his closet that she had taken to wearing around her frail, pale shoulders.

Every night since she had found the song, she would re-read over Kendall's messy handwriting, noticing that tear drops had stained the letter and the messy, crumpled up song paper. She would re-read the letter and close her eyes, and try to do what Kendall did, biting her lower lip and pretending it was their kiss, begging to feel Kendall's warm lips on hers.

She sat on Kendall's bed, finding a sheet from the downstairs linen closet to stretch over it, curled up in the chilly house, with Kendall's shirt over her shoulders, her tight stretch pants on, and her wet, limp hair hanging over her shoulders. She had searched the house top and bottom and hadn't found any clue to where Kendall could've been in California. There was nothing on the Knight's internet history, or any numbers to call, nothing of the sort. Stella was beginning to get discouraged that she would never find Kendall. She laid awake at night, trying her best to keep positive, taking in the scent of the plaid shirt of his, whilst laying the cardigan on the pillow next to her, nuzzling her nose into the fabric.

She looked out the window next to her, tracing the crumpled words that Kendall had written her so passionately with her lips, giving the paper soft little kisses while looking up into the stars. They stood out brilliantly against the dark black of the sky, Stella smiling at them and tracing the glass of the window pane.

They hadn't helped her lately. They hadn't given her the direction she needed since she had arrived at the Knight house. She wished that they could just form a path to wherever he was in California, and just take her to his doorstep, so she could throw her arms around his frame and sob into him.

Stella's heart ached for Kendall.

It made her want to scream at the top of her lungs without him.

The hurt she felt was like none other before. Stella had been starved, beaten, kicked, thrown and bashed, but _nothing_ felt like she felt now. Being without Kendall was less like a kick in the head, and more like a knife through her heart. Everything hurt.

She thought about how this is what she was afraid about in the first place. Getting hurt. That's why she had tried to erase Kendall like he had never existed, the fear of falling. Stella was on the tallest building in the world with Kendall, and she was trying to get back up there, no matter how hard she had to fight.

She knew that her and Kendall couldn't be together.

She had accepted it.

But she needed to let him know that what they had was real. And she needed to let him know fast.

* * *

Logan, Kendall, and James all laid on the couch of 2J, hanging their head in exhaustion, as Carlos leaned on the coffee table in the center, barely holding himself up. They had endured a painful amount of harmonies, and dance rehearsals today, and the boys could barely move, the trek from the lobby up to 2J increasingly painful. Their muscles throbbed, their throats dry, the bottom of their feet feeling like pins and needles with each step they took.

"So…many…routines," Carlos breathed out heavily, absolutely exhausted, his head lying on the cool glass of the table. Kendall moaned out in pain, Logan in a near fetal position as James lay frozen on the couch, his breaths coming slow and steady.

"I never want to dance…again," he whispered out with wide eyes in horror, his breaths short in fear.

"I never want to _move_ again," Kendall groaned out, rubbing the back of his neck tenderly, laying his head down on the couch in exhaustion.

"I never want to _breathe_ again," James added in with a silent whisper Logan closing his eyes and licking his chapped lips slowly, mustering up the courage to speak.

"You just did," Logan said analytically, as James threw him an evil stare, eyes narrowed and lips tight. Logan backed off, settling his head back down on the couch.

"I'm replaying dance routines in my head, and with every twist, it's like I feel it," James said sighing, and bringing his hand to damp forehead. He moaned out as he slumped down in the couch, breaking his frozen trance.

Carlos picked his head up from the coffee table, his breaths still a bit heavy as he sighed deeply, totally disoriented from practice, his light blue shirt covered with stains of hard work. Carlos brought his shirt up to his glistening tan face and wiped it off a bit, still perspiring even after the trip from Rocque Records to the Palm Woods.

"It's like eight-million fucking degrees in here!" Carlos yelled out in anguish, Kim coming into the kitchen and placing a glass in the sink with a stern face, and a sigh.

"Language!" she said again to Carlos, the boy collapsing on the table in front of him, just about done with life. Kim shook her head disappointed and walked back into her room silently. Carlos sighed loudly, when suddenly the small, techno ring of Logan's iPhone went off.

"Are you kidding," the smart boy grumbled under his breath pissed off at the world. Not even bothering to check who it was, he fished in the pocket of his cargo shorts, his eyes drooping and half closed. He took a deep breath in, trying to forgo the pain he felt in his ribs and sighed. "Hello?" he spoke into the phone, pushing his forehead into the cushion with exhaustion.

There was complete silence, and the clearing of a throat.

"Uh…h-hi, Logan," the man said. Logan's heart immediately dropped, and he bit his lower lip, bringing his head back up, sitting straight up on the couch with a shocked look on his face. All the betrayal he had locked inside was about to be released again, Kendall taking notice of the boy's alert facial expressions, and furrowed brow. "I didn't think you would answer," he continued nervously. There was silence still as James, Carlos and Kendall all looked at him in confusion, the phone blankly held to his head, looking down at his twitching fingers. "Please, let me talk to you, bud," John said helplessly, in what sounded like tears on the other line. Logan's anger was rising up from his feet to his knees to his shoulders, holding his phone tightly in his hand. As much as he wanted to hang up, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hadn't talked to his father in weeks, not even a word. "Kelley, he isn't saying anything," he heard his father whisper off the line, making Logan even angrier that his father and mother were in the same room when he wasn't there. He didn't want his mother having anything to do with him.

"Why are you at _my _house?" Logan asked him, gritting his teeth and setting his jaw clenched.

Ever since John had fessed up to cheating, Logan had particularly protective of his mother, seeing how different she was without her husband. The usually uptight, perfect, family woman Kelley Mitchell was now a mess, but truly more of a person than Logan had ever seen her before. She looked more comfortable around the house, not having to wear the usual fancy clothes she wore when she sat in the white living room with her husband. It was if since she had met him, she was increasingly uncomfortable with John and that this divorce was the best thing that she could've ever gotten for herself. His mother's somewhat newfound independence was the only thing that Logan had thought of to keep himself from cursing out his father over the phone, seeing as how the divorce hadn't really been too much on his mind lately between the band and all. Kelley did her best to talk to Logan about the band, and what was happing back home in Duluth, rather than how the divorce proceedings were coming along, even though Logan always asked. The boy had been so angry with his father, he had even considered changing his name to his mother's maiden name, but decided against it along with his mother's wishes to somewhat keep his father in their lives, as well as the extensive legal process it would take since he wasn't 18 yet. Logan didn't understand why Kelley wanted him there at all, and she doubted he ever would, but he felt it honorable to respect his mother's wishes, no matter how angry he was with his bastard of a father.

"I **said**, why are you at my house? Why are you with **my** mother?" Logan growled into the phone, all three boys sitting up and forgetting about their ailments instantly. They all rose from their spots to sit next to Logan comfortingly as the boy held the phone tightly, knuckled white. Kendall nodded at him reassuringly as Logan looked up at him with hurt, confused eyes. Carlos swallowed hard and patted Logan's back easily, making sure the boy knew that his three best friends were here for him.

"We're working out some divorce proceedings, I just—it's so good to hear your voice, Loag," John said, his voice cracking a bit as Logan bit his lower lip and closed his eyes tightly. With the sound of his father's voice, Logan wanted to scream and cry at the same time. The way his father sounded on the phone, so upset and distraught hurt Logan, especially since he knew that his father did miss him. He knew that his father wanted nothing more than to talk to him, making the boy all the more upset. Logan, being a logical boy, knew his father missed him more than anything in the world. Logan knew the love a parent has for a child rarely ever goes away, no matter what the circumstance. Logan remembered one time had asked his father when he was about ten, that if he was a doctor and wasn't able to save someone on the operation table, if John would still love him. John of course replied with a yes, and told Logan he'd love him no matter what he would do, and being the small boy he was, Logan replied with the same thing. Logan knew that his father still loved him very much, but it just wasn't enough to stay with them, and live a life with them. It hurt Logan even more that his father obviously still loved him and had done this to them, not even once thinking about the people he had loved from the beginning.

Everything hurt more.

Thick silence hung on the line, only a bit of rustling and static heard. "I still love you dad, but I can't forgive you," Logan cried out meekly, hanging up the phone hurriedly. Logan stared at the blinking 1:45 minute marker on his phone, hanging his head down, trying his best not to cry. Silence filled the room as he bit down hard on his lower lip, not wanting the tears to come, even though he knew they would with no promises of stopping. Logan opened his eyes with a soft cry, his lips in a thin straight line. Not even bothering to address his three brothers, he quickly got up from the sofa and began walking towards the back hallway, just wanting to hide in his pillow and cry. His heavy footsteps creaked against the wood of the floor, his body shaking a bit, gripping his phone tightly in his hand.

"Logan," Kendall spoke out comfortingly to the boy, but Logan just ignored it and walked straight down the hallway into his room, shutting the door with a slam. Kendall, Carlos and James all turned to each other with wide, silent eyes.

"What was _that_ about?" Carlos asked the two other boys, totally confused unto what had just happened. James looked at Kendall clueless, biting his lower lip, looking at the small wet spots where Logan's tears had fallen on the couch, and running his fingers over the fabric.

"He hasn't talked to his dad since he confessed," Kendall spoke out softly, sitting more upright and sighing deeply. He hit his thighs enthusiastically. "Okay, let's go," Kendall said, getting up from the couch with a slight groan due to the ache of his muscles.

"I can't get up," James cried out, Kendall turning around and giving him a glare.

"We listened to all your shit this morning, it's Logan's turn," Kendall replied stately, turning his back on the two other boys and marching straight into Logan's room, having no doubts that they would follow his path.

The three boys were outside of Kendall and Logan's room, sighing and rubbing their necks tenderly. Kendall knocked on the door, hearing nothing from the other side. "Logan?" he asked.

"Come in," the smart boy replied non-chalantly, his voice obviously weak from crying. Kendall looked back at Carlos and James and shrugged, having figured it would be much more difficult to get in. They opened the door and saw Logan reading his physics textbook with his glasses on the brim of his nose, the smart boy wiping the last of the tears from his red eyes. "Hey guys," Logan said brightly, trying to act like what had just happened was in fact all a dream. He sniffled slightly, and sighed deeply.

Carlos, James and Kendall all sat down on Logan's bed, the smart boy's knuckles white on the edges of the textbook, as he tucked his feet in to make more room for the guys. Logan's iPhone vibrated on the end table next to him, the boy ignoring the sound all together, Carlos, James and Kendall looking at it suspiciously, knowing it was Logan's father.

"Talk to us, man," James said with a small sympathetic smile, Logan looking up at the guys with a confused chuckle.

"About what?" he asked confused, adjusting his glasses and directing his eyes back to the book as if nothing ever happened. James looked at Kendall and Carlos with surprise, but not expecting anything else from Logan. The boy always tried to shut things out, even when his emotions got the best of him. He didn't want to seem weak, or anything less of logical in front of anyone really, and he didn't like to talk about the way he felt either. Even when he had broken down in front of his mom the past two times, he had always done his best to change the subject quick after, making sure to get the expression out of the way quick enough for it to be forgotten.

"Logie, come on," Carlos said playfully, trying to get the boy to stop pretending he was alright. Logan gave his friends a soft chuckle.

"Guys, really. I'm fine," he insisted, his eyes still locked on the textbook in front of him. Kendall, getting frustrated with boy ripped the book from his hands, and pushed it away from him off the side of the bed, letting it fall with a slam. James and Carlos were surprised at this, as Logan looked at Kendall with a confused, angry face. The blonde looked into the warm brown eyes that were tainted blood red and sighed.

"You miss him, don't you?" Kendall spoke out softly. Logan looked at the boy confused, taking off his glasses and sighing, rubbing his pained eyes.

"Why would I miss him after what he did to us? I don't miss him," Logan asked Kendall patronizingly. Kendall shook his head no. Kendall knew Logan better than he knew himself. Logan had been incredibly close to his father, as Kendall had been to his own. To have your father suddenly ripped out of your life like that, by choice or circumstance was the worst thing in the world.

"It's okay to be mad at him, but at the same time wish he was with you," Kendall said softly, James and Carlos smiling softly and sympathetically. Logan's face began to soften, but he still shook his head, leaning over the side of his bed to pick up his book. Kendall grabbed his arm tightly, and Logan looked up at the boy, right into his beautiful, pained green eyes. "It's alright to miss him, Logie," Kendall whispered between thin lips. He looked behind the blonde at Carlos and James who nodded, as Logan sighed, his voice getting shaky. Logan bit his lower lip and shook his head, not wanting any more tears to come out.

"I just…it's hard," Logan said desperately, Carlos and James moving more comfortably on the bed closer to their friend, Kendall settling back a bit.

"I know, Logan. I mean my dad has a girlfriend now, how do you think I feel about that?" Carlos said, Kendall and James looking back at the boy suspicious of the news.

"Since when?" Kendall asked. Carlos sighed and flipped his hand, signaling that he wasn't of importance right now.

"The point is that after my parents got divorced, I didn't really have any sort of relationship with my dad. I mean, he talked to me every day, and came to all my hockey games, but it was never like it used to be because he made my mom so unhappy all the time. I never really started talking to him comfortably until we came out here a week or so ago. The night before we left," Carlos started, sighing deeply, "he admitted all his mistakes that he had made, and he told me that he was truly sorry for the way he treated my mother, and how it affected me," he said. Logan smiled a bit, wiping the tear that has escaped from his eye away before it ran down his cheek, happy at Carlos' story. Not only did it give hope for the smart boy, but he could see how happy it had made his best friend to reconnect with his father. "It meant a lot, and it's gonna take some time to heal things, but its starting," Carlos said with a smile, nodding his head, "and I couldn't be happier." Logan nodded, understanding. "It just takes a bit of time," Carlos said.

James piped in. "I mean, I know I really don't get it since my parents are all over each other all the time," the boy started off, getting a smile and chuckle from Logan, "but I do know that you miss your dad, Logan. You guys are incredibly close, and even though he fucked up, it's not like you can stop loving him. He is your father," James said softly, Logan nodding and understanding again, Carlos patting James back at his sensitive words. Logan looked at Kendall, the blonde boy smiling at him sadly.

"Your turn, K-Dawg," Logan said amicably with a smile. Kendall sighed deeply.

"I know our fathers are a different story, Logan. Your father left, and my father died," Kendall said softly, trying to keep his voice strong. "But it doesn't matter the circumstances. Missing a parent that you have been close to is natural. I understand you are mad at your dad, man, but you miss him, and if you want to talk to him, it's alright. It's natural. And it might not be the worst idea," Kendall said to him. Logan nodded, and Carlos and James chuckled out as Logan smiled at the guys.

"Thanks a bunch guys," Logan said bashfully. "It means a lot."

"You mean a lot, Logie," James said to him, cocking his head affectionately to the side. The boys couldn't help but burst into laughter at James' sentimental statement, only to be interrupted by the loud, thunderous vibration of Logan's iPhone.

Without looking, they all knew who it was.

"Well I think that's our cue to leave," Carlos said playfully, sliding off the bed with a chuckle, Logan's gaze stuck on the phone, the word "Dad" coming up on the screen. James followed Carlos out the door, giving Logan a pat on the back before departing. Kendall's eyes stay glued to Logan's phone, as the boy took a deep breath before looking at his brunette friend.

"Do you need me stay?" Kendall asked. Logan looked up at him and nodded no, picking up the phone in his hands and smiling.

"I gotta do this by myself, but thanks, Kendall. I appreciate it," Logan said with a smile. Kendall nodded and hit the boy's shoulder playfully before getting up off the bed and walking out the door.

Logan looked down at his phone and took a deep breath in, as his phone vibrated in his hand, sending a chill down his spine. He closed his eyes, his insides shaking, taking his finger and tapping the green phone button to accept his father's call. He brought the phone to his ear and opened his eyes, biting his lip white.

"Hi, dad."


	27. Forgetting

**A/N: I just wanted to let you guys know that I changed the spelling of Logan's mothers name from Kelly-to Kelley, for any confusion with Kelly Wainwright. **

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even though I might get a ****bit**** of hell from all you Jo haters (I'm one myself, I'm really not fond of her either) but she WON'T be in here for the long run, that I ****promise**** you. **

**And thanks to all my reviewers who haven't lost interest in this story! :) you guys help keep me going with your reviews every week! I love them all and I'm so glad I have people who have stuck with me from the beginning! :) **

****And a public apology to **so-complicated** for not reviewing her story Something To Sleep To, which you ALL should read! And which I have to review.**

**Make sure you read this AMAZING snippet from **waterwicca's**Past The Sorrow**

It was a Thursday morning when all of Sage's new found expectations were shattered; making her realize that, with either choice Karen made, she would be a tragic mix of frightened and relieved…

"Why won't you let me sign your cast?" Katie whined to her brother for the hundredth time in the last few weeks and only received a dismissive chuckle in response.

"I'm not letting you anywhere near me with a permanent marker, Katie. When Sage had her cast, you wrote that I was a loser," Kendall glared halfheartedly at his little sister as Sage giggled beside him.

"I remember the good old days when you were more gullible," Katie mumbled dejectedly as she ate a spoonful of her sugary cereal.

"Kendall, you should let her deface it now. It's coming off in three days anyway," Sage suggested, sipping her orange juice with a smirk at her boyfriend, knowing a playful scowl was coming her way for siding with Katie.

"Where's Mom? I need someone sane to back me up," Kendall joked, spinning around in his stool at the kitchen counter with a piece of bacon in his hand as he scanned the room for Karen.

"She's on the phone. Just give in, Sweetie… Katie always wins," Sage insisted, winking at the little brunette on the other side of Kendall's body.

"Not today she doesn't," he declared sticking his tongue out at his sibling before abruptly putting it back into his mouth when he saw her hold up a black pen. "Put it down, Katie!"

"Hold still, Big Bro…" she laughed wickedly, lunging for his cast-covered forearm.

Kendall cried out dramatically in protest as Sage draped one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist from behind to keep him in place. This is the position Karen found the three of them in when she entered the room with a serious expression. Kendall was squirming halfheartedly in Sage's grasp with a smile on his face while Katie was practically in his lap, trying to write on his moving arm. She hated to ruin the family moment…

"Is everyone done eating?" she asked, forcing her usual cheery demeanor onto her face and trying to ignore her oncoming tears and headache. The phone call she had just finished would change all of their lives…

"No, I'm still starving because the girls are ganging up on me…" Kendall laughed and ruffled Katie's hair, knowing it would annoy her, and laced his good hand with one of Sage's on top of the counter as the trio broke apart. Karen smiled softly when her son kissed her daughter's cheek with a slight shove, and Katie bumped fists with Sage behind the boy's back. They were all so happy together…

"Listen, guys, there's something I have to tell you…" Karen started nervously, making herself busy by taking Katie's bowl and placing it in the sink with her glass.

"What is it, Mom?" Kendall was immediately concerned by her expression. He and Katie shared wary glances, and he squeezed Sage's hand a bit harder.

"About a month ago, I got a letter in the mail…" Karen started, and Sage sucked in a harsh breath, biting her lip and locking eyes with the woman for just a moment as she continued, "… My Great Aunt Margaret died, and she, uh… she left us the house in Minnesota…"

"And…?" Katie coaxed nervously, her brother staring wide-eyed and holding his breath beside her.

"We're moving at the end of next month. I've talked to your school, and they've agreed to let you take your exams early," Karen explained gently, watching Kendall's face cautiously. She had a job all set up in Minnesota as long as she could start by the end of May. Kendall wouldn't even get to finish his school year here. They wouldn't be around for Sage's birthday…

"Are you kidding?" Kendall yelled, standing up from his seat abruptly and holding Sage's hand so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. She squeezed back with just as much energy, while Kendall looked like he was going to kill someone.

"I think she's serious…" Katie whispered sadly beside him, her eyes not leaving her mother's conflicted expression.

"We can't leave! What about -" Kendall stopped suddenly when he turned to face his girlfriend. She was staring at the counter with glazed eyes and wouldn't move an inch, letting him drag her arm through the air as he gestured wildly with their connected hands.

Kendall's voice grew soft and stern, and he blinked rapidly as he held his breath.

"Why don't you look surprised?" he spoke every word clearly, easily reading her emotions. She wasn't in shock. She was nervous and scared in the same way she was when they walked down the crowded halls in school.

"Kendall…" her word only came out as a strangled whisper when she looked up at him.

"No, do not say my name like that…" he begged angrily. The last time he heard it pass her lips in that tone was the night he found out the vicious truth about Elliot, and their lives changed forever… "What's going on?"  
...

**Yes, you wanna read it don't you? So go do it! :D And review! :D**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Seven: Forgetting_

"Hi…Logan."

John talked to him with a smile over the phone, loving to hear the melody of his son's voice. Logan swallowed hard and looked straight ahead at the closed door, hearing small whispers behind it, and small chuckles. He knew his friends wouldn't leave him alone no matter how hard he tried to force them away, and he knew that Kendall was the one who probably sat down the second he had closed the door behind him.

"Hi," Logan repeated again nervously, shifting up against the wall, his feet extended out over the bed, staring at his black, distressed Converse with wide eyes. Logan's hand was tight on his phone, clutching it to his ear, his breaths heavy.

His mouth was dry, and his brain racked itself for things to say to his father. He couldn't bear to ask him anything about his life, like where he was staying, or how Tina Marie was, even if it was spiteful. Right now, Logan just hoped he could have a short, civil, conversation with his father without blowing up on him. As easy as it could be for Logan to think of the man like his father, Logan felt immediately distant from him, as if he were halfway across the world and not just the country. The brow rubbed his brow and sighed deeply, anticipating his father's words.

"How are you?" John asked him softly.

How was he? Logan was just fine when it came to the band, and his new life and California, and even of girls he though as he rubbed the hickey on his neck with a slight chuckle. But on the inside, he couldn't help but think about how his father made him feel, like he was getting tugged in eight hundred different directions. He was angry, agitated and frustrated with himself, and felt every word from a-z about his father and his decisions. Logan was silent, trying to find the words to describe this enigma of emotions, but John, feeling the tension on his son's end decided to spare him the trouble of explaining it.

"Your mother says that the band is doing well," John coughed out awkwardly. Logan knew at this moment, his father was probably sticking his hand in his pocket and playing with the loose change that fell at the bottom, trying to get his words out the best he could.

"Uh yeah," Logan got out softly, looking down at his feet and sighing. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes tightly, trying to somehow put John's usual voice with the man Logan remembered, not the one he turned into.

"That's good. I'm-I'm proud of you son," John stuttered out, a smile immediately coming to Logan's fresh face.

And then in a flash…it was gone.

It was like the mechanisms that geared Logan's lips up into a sideways D shape had been too easily oiled, and had suddenly remembered their own unfortunate circumstances. Logan's lips fell along with his chin, his eyes sinking down with the weight of sadness on his heart. Logan was confused. He didn't know what hurt worse nowadays.

His father's abandonment or the fact that he felt guilty for still loving him.

Logan was being pulled over a stormy sea by the heavens in two totally separate but equal ways. He was torn down the middle, right through his over logical brain, down to the insides of his thighs. He felt like he was two separate people all the time, this emotional, illogical person when he was angry, and this straightforward, rational bookworm when he studied he and his father's relationship.

It was almost like how Kendall's anger got out of control, and he turned into someone different.

"U-uh t-thanks," Logan stammered out awkwardly, shutting his eyes tightly with a deep sigh, hearing a soft snicker from the hallway.

Kendall, Carlos and James all sat outside Logan's door, hearing the muffled voice of their best friend through it, wondering what was being exchanged over the phone. Kendall sat twiddling his thumbs nervously, hoping to God Logan wouldn't get upset.

"Do you think he knows we are out here?" Carlos asked innocently, sitting next to Kendall across from the door. Carlos anxiously tapped his fingers against the wall, causing Kendall to sigh a bit annoyed, but knowing his best friend couldn't help but move in a tense situation like this.

"If thinks we would really leave then he's a bigger idiot than _**I**_ am," James told Carlos confidently, sitting right next to the door. Carlos scoffed and smiled.

"Wow. That's a colossal amount of…idiocy," Carlos said with poise to James with a laugh. The pretty boy looked back at his friend, sticking his tongue out at the insult, truthfully not really understanding what the word colossal meant. James decided to ignore it and turn his attention back to the door, Kendall's green eyes set on it since the moment he sat down.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Carlos asked curiously, filling the awkward silence between the three of them.

"I don't know. Maybe just LA, and the band," Kendall said cluelessly, breaking his gaze from the door and turning to Carlos. James extended his feet out to the wall in front of him, sitting opposite Kendall and Carlos. He sighed, stretching them up to create a triangle with his long legs, the wall and the floor, flipping his hair back effortlessly.

"Or maybe that sick hickey on Logan's neck," James muttered out still a bit bitter from their earlier conversation. Kendall rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, shooting James a look as the boy pouted against the wall.

"Jeez James, the kid gets a _minimal_ amount of action from _one_ girl, and you have to hold it over his head," Kendall spoke out playfully annoyed, trying to get his point across without getting angry about it. "Just cause you like this Lianna chick, doesn't mean it's the end of the world, alright? Just talk to her like she's a person and not a piece of meat," Kendall exasperated heavily, leaning his head back against the wall as James and Carlos looked at him a bit surprised by his outburst. They hadn't seen Kendall show any really tense emotions since getting to LA, and quite frankly, the slightest hinting of one scared them both off their hinges. Carlos's shoulders immediately tensed and he leaned back away from Kendall a bit, James' whole demeanor changing from one of upset and pathetic to afraid and hostile.

Kendall took a few deep breaths, feeling his anger rise up a bit again. He bit his lower lip, reminding himself about how he needed to control the feelings he had, and how at his last visit to Dr. Givens, she had told him to think of the consequences he could face if he did punch someone or hurt them, and how it would only bring back his progress. He felt that James was being a bit selfish about all of this, especially since he was the only one who wasn't going through fucked up family stuff right now.

Carlos had to deal with his father's new girlfriend, totally uncomfortable by the idea, as well his mother being upset by it. Not that his mother still loved his father or anything like that, but he was still the man Marta _had_ fallen in love with so many years ago. And now, he had someone else? When Carlos had told his mother over the phone earlier today, she had been in complete shock about it. Carlos had to convince her three times that he was actually serious about Peter having a girlfriend, who never the less was serious. The boy himself also had a bit of trouble grasping his head around the fact that his father had someone else, with a kid, who was more than likely taking his place. While it wasn't the same situation as Logan's, it was similar in the way where Carlos felt that as soon as he and his father were on good, healthy terms after so long, that the beginning build of their relationship was starting off miserably.

Logan's situation spoke for itself.

And Kendall, well Kendall had a boat load of problems on his plate. Luckily, he had been in best friend mode from early on in the day at breakfast talking it out with James and his issues, being a shoulder to lean on for Carlos when he had to break the news to his mother his father had a serious relationship, and now he was there for Logan, his best friend in the entire world, whose world was falling apart at the seams with his dumbass father who he still loved more than anything in the world. Between all his friend's problems today, he hadn't gotten a word in to tell them about his bizarre dream which had him in tears at 3:30 this morning. Kendall still didn't understand what it meant, and had no clue why he would dream of something like that. Stella was understandable, seeing as he was trying his hardest to forget her, but his father? His father interacting with Stella?

"Dude, I tried telling you guys this morning that I don't like her, and no one listened, and then you **conned** me into saying I had a crush on her, which I don't! I don't do crushes," James said arrogantly, as if the spectacle was meaningful to only children.

"James, just stop being fucking arrogant for once, and listen to yourself talk! Do you hear yourself?" Kendall burst out with anger and rage, his fists balled up at his sides. His voice was loud and booming, and without having any super powers, each boy knew what the other was thinking. Kendall hadn't gotten angry in a long time, and they were scared what was going to happen. His eyes were alit with that fire, his fists white at the knuckles and red at the fingers, his brows furrowed upset. It was the telltale sign of a tornado arising. "You have a crush, so what? You act like you are some type of robot who doesn't have feelings. I _told_ you back in Minnesota, you push the girls you like away because you are afraid of love," Kendall said pointing his finger at his best friend, lowering his voice a bit, his half hooded eyes locked on James. He saw how his friend didn't say a word, but his face slowly softened, as if Kendall was spilling out facts from a textbook. Kendall's fists were released, his anger slowly falling down as he swallowed hard, his voice lower, his brows straight, and already his green eyes begging forgiveness for getting out of hand. "Look at you, man. Look at where you are, James. You're gonna be famous, alright? It's almost a sure deal right now. You met this girl yesterday, and you are already hung up on her like you have never been before, right after we record our first song and get approved for demos by the record company," Kendall told him, their eyes not leaving each other. "Love isn't getting in the way of your fame any longer. It's meant to be," he whispered softly, leaning his head back against the hallway and sighing, Carlos and James exchanging looks of deep thought and rationale. "I mean, I know Logan doesn't believe in it," he said motioning to the door, "but I do. I really do. I believe everything happens for some reason, and **you** met Lianna for a reason," Kendall finished, staring at him intently, voice stern again.

"We aren't famous **yet**, Kendall. This is my whole point," James said unsurely, his eyes wavering nervously, his mouth stumbling over his words. "I need to concentrate of becoming famous, before I even think about anything like love. Yeah, I guess I didn't expect to be in California living out my dream at only sixteen, but—"

"But why do you have to wait, James? I don't understand. We're here, and we have nothing to hold us back. Why are you still denying this?"

"**Because I've never felt this way, alright?"** James yelled out viciously at Kendall, causing both him and Carlos to move back a bit, totally shocked by James' outburst. The brunette sighed and furrowed his brows upset, trying his best to get back to his relaxed, confused state. "I'm-I'm all mixed up, and I don't know what I'm feeling," James told his best friends, still a little angry. "And it doesn't make it any easier with you trying to prove your own fucking point, Kendall. I get it, alright? There is no reason to hold back love cause I already am getting my big break, and there is no harm in actually have feelings for someone, and it's true, but—but I'm not** you**!" James told him angrily, his heavy breaths turning into sarcastic laughs. "You fell in love, and look at what it did to you! Yeah, you're getting better, but look at all the shit that you've had to go through cause of it. I can't afford to do this right now, and the fact that I even have the slightest feelings for Lianna freaks me out, okay?" he told them with a unconfident, shaky voice. "I mean I don't know how my parents are still so happy together, especially when they did the one thing I'm trying not do, by giving up their dreams for love! I'm not used to all of this!" he said with sadness and heart ache. "It's not easy for me when I'm used to sleeping with girls, and not having them close enough to actually get to really know them. It's always a sure thing with those girls, but not with Lianna, and-and I just…," James said, trying to get the words out, looking in both of his friends' wide, expressive eyes and sighing deeply. "This isn't me."

Carlos and Kendall exchanged worried glances at their best friend, silence filling the narrow hallway and Logan's muffled voice the only heard through the door.

Logan stood in the middle of his room pacing from his bed to Kendall with a sigh, trying his best to relax himself. He hadn't even been on the phone with his dad for ten minutes, and already, things were starting to go awry. It had started when John had apologized to Logan for everything that had happened with Tina Marie, and her bratty little kids Georgina and Stefan. He rambled on and on about them, bringing up how they weren't his real children, and how Logan would always come first to John, no matter what. Truthfully, Logan didn't want to hear that he would come first. He wanted his father to say that he messed up, that he didn't love Tina Marie and her kids, and that he was coming back home, and would never mention his second family again, but Logan knew it wasn't realistic. Now his father, who had been staying in a hotel just an hour away from the house, was back at home, collecting up his things and moving to New York with that disgusting slut of an Italian mob wife and living with her and her two kids.

"I'll always make sure to keep in touch with you, Logan, I promise. I'll even visit whe—" but Logan cut him off. He was angry, his fist stuck in his pocket with white knuckles, his entire body seemed to tremor. Now, his father was getting too comfortable with this conversation. Visiting? Logan had finally _just_ talked to the man after how many weeks, and he already wanted to visit? Was he fucking kidding? It was then, Logan began a tirade of sorts, not even knowing the true psychological purpose. A scapegoat. A way to somehow reverse the logical explanation of the love his father had for him, without even fully realizing it. It would be irrational, and covered up with pure anger that still lurked inside his damaged heart. It would be perfect, and while Logan's emotions took over his body again, the logic stopped flowing through his body, and was caught by his thick skull.

Logan had no idea of the self-defense he was putting up.

"Why did you take me to California?" Logan asked his father coldly. John was a bit taken aback by the question, seeing as he finally though he and his son were getting back on good terms. Yet, Logan spoke like a ice storm into the receiver, John's entire face sinking hearing his son's scathing words.

"W-what do you mean?" John asked him.

"Why did you take me there? Why did you take me on vacation there when you had an entire other family in New York? Why didn't you take them?" Logan asked him, staring at the wall in front of him blankly. There was silence and a long sigh, and Logan knew John was trying to think of an answer to get Logan to calm down.

"Because I wanted to, Logan," John said softly, Logan scoffing and shaking his head no. "I wanted to spend time with y-"

"No. That's not why dad, we _both_ know that," Logan said to him with a trembling expression of lips, biting his lower one white. He sighed heavily, and swallowed hard, knowing he had figured his father out. "You felt guilty, alright? Everything you did for me was out of guilt, because you had them in New York. And don't try to tell me it's not," Logan told him, beginning to cry, his tears seeping out the corners of his eyes.

"Logan, that's not true, bud," John said, but was interrupted again.

"NO! Don't try to make this better, alright? Just—It was a mistake answering this phone call, it was a mistake talking to you, goddamnit everything I **did** with you was a mistake!" Logan cried out into the phone loudly, his hands shaking. He clicked off the phone and threw it to the ground, causing a small crack to appear in the front screen. Logan laced his fingers through his short black hair and ceased crying, his breaths heavy and his eyes still a bit wet.

Immediately, shuffling was heard outside of Logan's door, and the boy looked up at it, slowly wiping his eyes and looking down at his now broken iPhone, as if he was surprised at what had just happened.

"Great," Logan mumbled miserably, sighing deeply. Within a second, there was a slight knock on the door. Logan sighed annoyed, but then smiled at his best friends' comforting personas.

"Logie?" Kendall asked him softly through the door, the tension out in the hallway as thick as the tension building up inside of Logan's room. Logan licked his lips and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, taking a deep breath and walking towards the door, with one hand on his hip for balance, his heart beating out of his chest.

Logan opened the door with damp eyes, looking at Kendall's defeated green eyes, James awkward stance, and Carlos' nervous and caring smile. Truthfully, Logan didn't like the way his best friends looked, and he could tell that it wasn't just Logan's inner turmoil that was bothering them.

It was a mix of four unhappy best friends, just looking at each other with clueless, open hearts. They needed each other in times like this.

The four boys sat on Kendall and Logan's beds, talking everything out for the next fifteen minutes. Logan started it off with his conversation with his father, telling the boys everything he had said, and why he didn't understand the reason he had blown up at the end of the conversation like that. Carlos went next, briefly touching on the oddness of his mother's upset at his father's girlfriend, along with his own upset. Logan was able to provide some comfort in the form of gentle pats on the back and words of understanding, seeing as he was in a similar situation. Next was James, who seemed to have the most confusion. After his long outburst, the boys rarely said anything in the hallway to each other, seeing as they heard the loud slam of Logan's iPhone just seconds after James' rant. James basically just repeated what he said outside to Kendall and Carlos a lot more civil, Logan nodding his head and not saying a word, trying his best to understand.

After about twenty minutes, the boys all turned to Kendall, seeing as the blonde haired, green eyed boy hadn't said much of anything about his own problems. Kendall was the one who came out to Hollywood with enough emotional baggage to need a personal bellhop, and now it seemed like the boys had all taken parts of it.

"What about you, Kendall? You seem to the be the only one problem free lately," Logan joked out, James still staying reserved, and Carlos smiling sympathetically at all of his friends, feeling his problem was silly and trivial compared to theirs. Kendall sighed and sat back, leaning against his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to bring back just a second of the dream, so he could accurately describe it for his friends. He hadn't told them yet.

"I had a dream," Kendall spoke out softly, looking down at his fingers awkwardly, sighing deeply. He figured he would elaborate on it, seeing the question "about what" just ready to jump from eager Carlos' mouth. "I had this dream about my dad, and Stella was there, and it—it was just so confusing. I don't get why my dad would be there, interacting with Stella, you know?" Kendall told them, his green eyes bored with confusion. James sighed and nodded, knowing this was obviously bothering Kendall a bit, and was probably pat of the reason he had lashed out a bit in the hallway a few minutes ago. James could only be so thankful that Kendall didn't explode on him like he would've a few months ago.

"Well we were talking about Stella yesterday which explains that, and then maybe, the whole thing with Logan and his father brought up some memories of your dad," James said confidently with a smile, hoping his dream analysis worked, and trying his best to shift the attention from him to Kendall for once. Kendall felt that it fell short majorly, but couldn't help but smile at the smile on James' face, and the persona he was used to returning to him.

"True, but I-I don't know. I feel like…my dream was almost trying to tell me something," Kendall said confused, running his hands through his hair distressed, the anxiety he felt waking up coming back and haunting him. It was like he was in his room again, sweating and crying while trying to make some sense of the sick fake reality he had just been a part of. "It was so clear, and me and Stella, we were engaged," Kendall said, a ghost of a smile coming onto his face. "My father loved her," he whispered out. He hadn't even truly made much sense of that part of his dream yet. It was as if in that moment, everything that had soaked into Kendall's mind the past forty eight hours with his friends and his father had taken such prominence over Stella's memory that it all came rushing back on him. Kendall suddenly felt like a large weight had been cast over him, as he closed his eyes tightly, and tried his best to remember Stella's memory.

He saw her long blonde hair, her icy blue eyes, her pink lips, her sweet voice, the way she kissed him, the way she batted her eyelashes, the way she raised her eyebrow.

It was as if every little thing Kendall had tried to forget about Stella was coming back to him in this one moment, a rush of cold water that hit his body like a thousand tiny knifes.

Kendall couldn't speak, and his words were caught in his throat as he bit his lower lip white. Why was this happening now?

"I-I miss her so much," Kendall spoke out softly, looking down at his thumbs. "I guess I haven't been really thinking of her as a person you know?" Kendall asked them confused. "Like where she could be, if she's alright, if she's with…someone else," Kendall said upset, ducking his head down at the possible truth. He sighed deeply and looked up at Logan, Carlos and James. "It just sucks not knowing," Kendall said softly. "And now, I-I don't have anything of her left, I left her song, and her letter back home," Kendall mumbled out, starting to regret his decisions which he had made in his first attempts to get her out of his head.

"Kendall," Carlos said softly, putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder. "It's gonna be alright. You're doing the right thing here by trying to forget about her, especially after what happened between you two," the Latino said with heart and soul, locking his caramel eyes on Kendall's green ones. "It's just taking time, but you've been so good since you got here. I even saw you looking at Jo the other day with that gleam in your eye," Carlos joked out with a smile, hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries.

Kendall blushed a bit, knowing that he had indeed shown a slight interest in Camille's best friend, Jo. She was a blonde actress from North Carolina who had moved here a day or two after the boys, with a beautiful white smile and large brown eyes. It was true, Kendall's eyes had lingered on her for an extended amount of time the past day or so, but he hadn't thought that anybody had really noticed it. The two had introduced themselves to each other with a few slight words, but that was really it. Besides glances and awkward smiles, the two hadn't talked much. "You're allowed to go up and talk to other girls, Kendall. I think it's good for you," Carlos said with a smile. Logan smiled and chimed in.

"Yeah, and if you wanna go out on a date with Jo in a few weeks or so, I mean, you and me could always double with her and Camille," Logan told him confidently, Kendall smiling at the assertion that Camille was now actually something to Logan in the more than friends department. "I mean, I wouldn't recommend anything serious, but a friendly date might be good," Logan piped up.

"Well I might have to take that offer if all your dates go like last night, Logie," Kendall joked out, motioning his chin to the hickey on Logan's neck. The smart boy blushed a bit and rolled his eyes, his hand going back to the hickey, trying to cover it as if the guys hadn't been staring at it since early this morning.

"But really dude, I mean, you're doing great lately, with Stella, and your dad," James told him softly nodding his head. "This has been a tough year on all of us, and I don't think that we could've gotten through it without each other," James said, looking around the room with a smile. Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan all exchanged smiles and sighed, feeling the tension from the hallway, and between Logan and his father totally gone from their presence, each boy feeling like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders, for the time being at least.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Kendall's dream, and each day passed with torment, but satisfaction.

Torment that Stella wasn't with him.

Satisfaction that he was slowly losing that torment.

As much as Kendall would think of Stella at least three, four times a day, she was no longer constantly on her mind. Quite frankly, it scared the boy a bit. He hadn't had a clear though without her since before he had met her, and kissed her in December. It was now late April, early May, nearly four and a half months since they had met. Luckily, with the band doing well with recording demos, and meeting with executives, Kendall really didn't have much time for a social life, but he and the boys did everything they possibly could to preserve it.

Carlos had been tailing three popular, bitchy girls called the Jennifer's around the pool since he had first discovered them a week and a half ago. One was blonde and tall, the other with caramel skin and brunette hair and the last one with chocolate skin and black, curly hair. It seemed as if Carlos wanted to serve them more than be with them, and no matter how many times the rejected their advances it was like a secret understanding had been made. They loved the attention, and Carlos loved giving it to them. It was a win-win deal for both parties.

James and Lianna hadn't really talked _much_, seeing as how the boy kept pushing her away, trying his best not to think about her. It had been a week since their date when he had finally said hi to her down at the pool, awkwardly and all nervously as he never had been before. James was even _more_ obsessed about his appearance now, seeing as he felt he would need to keep it up for "other options" which the boys all knew it meant keeping it up for Lianna. As much as Logan, Carlos and Kendall pushed James in her direction, emotionally and physically, it seemed as the boy didn't want anything to do with her, while indeed her heart was breaking. Luckily, earlier in the day, Kendall and Logan had caught the two sitting down in one of the cabanas, talking and laughing naturally. Kendall saw the look of sheer entertainment and terror on James' face, as he made careful not to touch her in the wrong way, or somehow get the wrong signal across to her.

Logan and Camille had been out every night since the "hickey" incident, and were definitely just a date or two away from making it official. Logan hadn't talked to his father since the outburst, taking a complete vow of silence from him, even after the boys tried to talk him out of it. Earlier in the week, the smart boy had even blown up on his mother for being so adamant about talking to him, and how the entire conversation he and his father had was driven by his mother's nagging. Logan had apologized to her in the same conversation however, but still wouldn't talk to his father. Camille made Logan happier than Kendall had ever seen the boy, and Logan was more open about his relationship with her than ever. Just the other night, he was telling the boys over midnight ice-cream sundae's the world of pleasure he had experienced when Camille had bucked her hips up into his when they were making out on the couch one night, and how it was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced. While virgin Carlos was amazed, the more experienced Kendall and James just looked at each other with smiles, knowing that the boy was in store for things _much_ better than one, single dry hump.

"Kendall, are you almost ready?" Logan called out from the living room.

Kendall looked in the mirror on the back of his closet door and sighed, swallowing hard. He gently ran his hands through his hair, fixing his newly trimmed blonde bangs, looking over his outfit one last time. A white t-shirt with a black vest on top, dark blue skinny jeans, and white and black slip on Vans. His green eyes danced across his appearance and he closed them, the same uneasy feeling in his stomach as he felt that night he went out with James, Amy and Stephanie.

Kendall Knight was going on a date tonight.

After much persuasion from Logan, who claimed it would be a purely innocent night, and that he was totally against PDA as was Camille, Kendall agreed to go on a double date with Logan, Camille and Jo.

Kendall couldn't lie, Jo was a sweet, beautiful, attractive girl, and she had been the only one that Kendall's eye had truly lingered on since arriving. He didn't know if it was the fact that he was slowly forgetting Stella more and more, day by day that made Jo stand out, or if it was just the fact that she wasn't tainted by Hollywood yet. Kendall was **not** by _any_ means looking for something serious, and after much consolation from Logan who understood Kendall's place, and what his deal with Stella was, he agreed to go out with the pretty blonde, just for a night.

The two boys exited the apartment and went down the hallway to the elevator, stepping inside when it opened, the doors shutting in front of them. Kendall nervously stuck his hands into his pockets, looking up as a well dressed but casual Logan looked at him with a half smile. Kendall's foot anxiously tapped against the tile floor and he sighed deeply, gnawing on his lower lip.

"Nervous?" Logan asked him. Kendall looked at the boy, rubbing his chin self-consciously and chuckling, blushing a bit.

"Y-yeah, I guess. I haven't been on a date in…well, a while," Kendall said chuckling. Logan gave the boy a confused look and furrowed his brow.

"Didn't you go on a date with James, Amy and Stephanie?" Logan asked. Kendall sighed and rolled his eyes with a smile, looking at Logan as if he should've known better.

"Hardly a date," Kendall said, readjusting his gaze to the numbers on top of the elevator doors, sucking a deep breath in when it hit L for lobby. The elevator stopped and Logan looked at Kendall, giving him a pat on the back with a smile.

"You'll be fine. Enjoy yourself tonight, okay?" Logan said. "And _really _enjoy yourself, not like with Stephanie," he added in with a stern face. Kendall nodded and smiled as the doors opened to the bustling Palm Woods lobby, people entering and leaving for their dinner or nightlife outings as the sun began to set and five o'clock creeped up. Kendall's eyes were instantly brought to the two orange couches in the lobby, where he saw curly haired Camille and Jo sitting together with smiles on their faces, obviously engrossed in deep conversation. Kendall had to admit, Jo looked absolutely beautiful tonight, wearing a light pink sundress with small, silver, strappy heels and a brush of silver eyeshadow on her lids.

Logan and Kendall strolled up to the females, Kendall feeling his stomach churn as his hands were stuck in his pockets, his eyes narrowed on the blonde in front of him. It's as if Kendall could pretend Jo was Stella, seeing her blonde hair and adorable smile. However, as he moved closer to her, and saw her stand up, her entire demeanor and presence seemed to overtake him. A true, goofy smile broke out onto his face seeing her warm, chocolate eyes light up to him, and Kendall couldn't contain it if he even tried.

At the moment, thoughts of Stella Kendall had from the second he had seen Jo totally vanished.

It scared him for a second as he moved face to face with her, taking in everything she was.

But after a few seconds, it was okay.

Kendall Knight was okay.

"Hi, Camille," Logan said to his dark haired, almost girlfriend, giving her a soft peck on the lips, his arm snaking around her waist. Both Kendall and Jo looked at them, and then looked back at each other awkwardly trying to figure out how to greet each other. Kendall took his hand from his pocket and smiled at Jo, bringing it flush against his abdomen at a ninety degree angle, and bowing in front of her.

"Hello, fair Lady Josephine," Kendall said softly, a small chuckle coming from Jo's lips with a smile.

"Hello to you too my fair Knight...no pun intended," Jo said. Logan and Camille, who were wrapped up around each other stared at the pair with a smile, an instant, relaxed chemistry between them, for which Logan was especially relieved of. Kendall and Jo locked eyes and smiled at each other, then turning to Camille and Logan with a sigh.

"Okay, who is ready for the best movie and ice cream ever?" Camille asked the group, eliciting excited sounds from all of them, as the quartet made their way to the exit of the Palm Woods.

* * *

Carlos and James sat upstairs in apartment 2J, beating the crap out of aliens in Carlos' video game, in which the boys were still addicted to. Kendall and Logan had been gone on their double date for about two and a half hours now, and it was nearing eight o'clock in LA, the two boys deciding to pass the time with video games.

"So, what do you think about Kendall going out with Jo?" Carlos asked with his tongue hanging out, trying his best to blow up one of the enemy aliens that was on his and James' territory. James, who was avidly pressing a combination of buttons shrugged, his eyes glued to the television.

"I don't know. I mean, it's good for him. He's really starting to forget about Stella, and Logan told me that Kendall was actually the one who brought up the double date to him again, after he said it in their room when we talked two weeks ago," James said, sighing in victory as he cut the head off the alien's second queen.

"Me too. I think he's finally starting to get some sense in him about all that true love bullshit," Carlos said with a snicker, James not saying anything in response. It wasn't that James _loved_ Lianna, but he definitely liked her. James hadn't liked a girl since elementary school, and even now, just talking to her on certain days, sitting with her and watching her laugh, James felt some sort of instant chemistry between them. It threw him for a loop of course, but right now, he decided _not_ to chime in with Carlos' about this "love bullshit" and totally keep his mouth closed.

"So you and Lianna?" Carlos asked with a smile towards the TV, his thumbs hitting the A and X buttons to use his photon cannon on the guard aliens around the fortress where the boss was hiding.

"What about us?" James asked. Carlos shrugged.

"I don't know. You guys kiss or anything yet?" he asked.

"Nope," James said cut and dry, without a care in the world. It was true. As much as James wanted to kiss her, _and_ sleep with her, he knew it wasn't the right time. He and she were finally talking as friends, and that was oddly okay for James. Truthfully, it was more than okay for him, and every second he spent with her, the more okay it got.

"Seriously? Dude, where is your game?" Carlos asked James with a chuckle, breaking into the fortress where the boss was, his knees tensing a bit as he got closer.

"I don't know man. With her it's totally different, and I don't know why, and I don't know how," James chuckled out, wanting to keep his feelings for Lianna under the radar for now. While he didn't have _too_ much of a reputation in Hollywood, he wanted to keep what people knew about him fresh in their minds. He didn't want to be called a wimp, or anything else referring to his lack of sexual activity the past few weeks, with Lianna specifically.

"Aw jeez, bro. You sound like, Kendall," Carlos spoke out with a flutter of his lips, James shrugging and sighing, trying not to let the Latino's comment bother him. There was silence between the two as Carlos stood up with joy, pressing the A button and X button four times to create a nuclear explosion, killing the alien and winning the level.

"Fuck yes!" Carlos exclaimed happily, as James whooped, resting his controller down next to him. The phone on the counter rang loudly, interrupting Carlos' celebration as James sighed and sat back, exhausted.

"Okay victory Carlos, answer the phone. It's probably your dad anyway," James said, closing his eyes and cracking his knuckles from the intensity of the game. Carlos snickered and ran over the phone out of breath, the LEVEL WON on the TV lighting up in all different colors as he picked up the phone.

"Yello?" Carlos asked into the phone slyly, leaning against the counter.

Carlos heard nothing but soft sniffles on the phone, and silence, leaning into the receiver confused. James looked on at the boy's happy face going to confused, his thick black brows furrowing with upset.

"Carlitos," Marta said on the other line, with a soft, teary voice.

"Mami, what's wrong?" Carlos asked concerned, his heart beginning to beat faster and faster. James stood up as Carlos' face contorted into pure worry, biting his lower lip. He approached the boy, as Carlos heard nothing but soft sniffles, and Marta's shaky voice on the other end of the phone.

"Mijo, I-I have some bad news."

* * *

"Kendall, you already paid for the ice-cream. Please, let me pay for the movie ticket?" Jo asked him, fishing in her clutch for a twenty dollar bill.

The two stood on line at Malibu Cinemas, Camille and Logan already getting snacks for the four of them, as Kendall chuckled and passed a twenty dollar bill to the teller with a smug smirk. One hand was in his pocket, the other tapping against his upper thigh nervously, trying his best not to see the weirdly odd similarities between this date and his one with Stephanie Carter weeks ago.

"This is a date, Jo. I'm glad to pay. It's not like I date a lot of girls anyway, so don't worry about it. You're worth the money," he said to her with a true smile. Jo blushed a bit and closed her purse, as the teller handed two tickets to Kendall. They walked forward a bit to the theatre master, who stood there with a box full of ticket stubs. Kendall offered the older man his tickets, and the man ripped them, handing them back to the boy. Kendall turned to Jo and handed her the ticket stub, their hands grazing indefinitely, and a smile coming to Jo's face. She slowly took her hand away and smiled at Kendall, who smiled back at her, all the way up to his eyes.

It was as if this date was replaying exactly like his date with Stephanie Carter.

All four teens sat in the middle row of the movie theater, Logan's arm around Camille, gently grazing the skin of her far elbow with the pads of his fingers, as she leaned into him. Luckily, Logan had the respect, and bit of nervousness, not to have the audacity to make out with his date when he was doubling, or make out with his date at all in public. Kendall and Jo sat silently side by side in the movie theater, Jo's big brown eyes locked up on the movie. Kendall sighed and nervously twiddled his thumbs, biting his lower lip white. The voices in the movie, and the pictures of them became a blur as his heart beat in his ears, and it was as everything else went silent. He awkwardly moved his arm on the arm rest of the chair, sighing deeply. He really didn't want this to turn into a date where he was afraid to do anything because of what Stella might think, aka his date with Stephanie. Stella was in the past, and he had to move forward. It was just as his mother said. He may have loved her, but she wasn't right for him. Kendall knew it. He did think Jo was pretty, and sweet, and smart, and he was indeed attracted to her, so what was stopping Kendall from simply putting an arm around her, and hugging her a bit closer to him? There was no harm in that, was there? He needed to move on, knowing that he and Stella weren't together anymore, even if he did still love her.

The rationale gears in Kendall's head began slowly turning, his entire body releasing tension like a rush of water, as he took a deep breath. He slowly reverted back to old sly move he had used with Chrissy Jenkins when they had gone to the movies years ago. Kendall non-chalantly itched his eyebrow, and slid his hand to the back of his hair, fingers going through the sleek blonde locks easily. He then slowly curved his arm around Jo's seat with a small sniffle, his hand gently grazing her far shoulder, as his thumb scratched under his opposite ear nervously. Jo looked up at him with a small smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, as she sighed and moved closer into him. She allowed her hand to slowly rest on his knee for a few seconds, and then took it away, allowing Kendall to know she was indeed comfortable with the gesture, as both their eyes remained locked on the movie, wide smiles on each of their faces.

Logan who had seen this entire thing unfold smiled, pulling Camille, who sat next to Jo, closer to him with a smile, the two lovers acknowledging Kendall's interest in the sweet blonde.

"Good for him," Camille whispered softly, her eyes still locked on the screen.

An hour and a half later, after the horrid romantic comedy Logan and Kendall had sat through with their dates, they finally stood outside the theater, the cold night trickling up on them, the black sky barely lit by any stars tonight. Kendall looked up and smiled at the peaceful black sky, the breeze through his hair quite pleasantly in the busy night.

"It's almost like the sky is made of velvet tonight," Kendall said softly to Jo, who stood next to him with a smile, looking up alongside him. Both their hands dangled freely at their sides, just inches from touching.

Logan and Camille sat beside the two on a bench, Camille in Logan's arms, as he kissed her hair gently, and took in her wonderful scent. Logan was true when he said he didn't like PDA, but this public display of affection was more _actual _affection than anything else. Kendall watched as Logan's brown eyes looked extremely at peace as he and Camille sat there, intimately whispering in each other's ears, just taking in the beautiful scene in front of them on a busy Hollywood street, the lights of the big city just a few blocks from them. Kendall couldn't have been happier for his best friend, knowing that Logan deserved someone to love, especially with everything going on his life. He had never seen Logan so absolutely fawned over one person so much, and was more than excited for Logan for all the wonderful things that came along with a girlfriend that he had never experienced before.

"I know, it's absolutely breathtaking," she said with an airy voice, and a poignant smile. "I like stars and all, but sometimes, the sky can do without them just fine," Jo whispered with wonder, her gaze going to Kendall, who stared at her intently with awe. Kendall suddenly felt a large gulp of nervousness slide down his throat and into his stomach like he had never felt before, as his hand gently meshed with Jo's under the lights of the movie theater marquee. Jo looked down at their hands loosely intertwined and then back up at Kendall with a small smile. She turned her body more to his with surprise as Kendall looked from her lips to her eyes.

Not only did he want to kiss another woman, he wanted to kiss a woman who _wasn't_ Stella.

Kendall breathed out shakily and slowly and awkwardly leaned in, arching his head to his left. Jo slowly leaned in as well, the two pairs of lips meeting in a soft, tender and sweet kiss. Kendall tightened his grip on Jo's hand a bit, not being able to help the initial thought of Stella going through his mind when he touched Jo's lips. Kendall moved his head a bit into the innocent kiss, his lips locking with hers, when a loud, obnoxious rock song was heard from the pocket of Kendall's jeans, accompanied by an audible vibration. Jo and Kendall instantly parted with a jerk, chuckling a bit. Jo shyly licked the taste of him off her lips with a giggle, and taking her finger to daintily wipe off a bit of Kendall's saliva from the top of her lip.

"I'm sorry," Kendall chuckled out nervously, his voice and knees weak at the fact that he was kissing someone who wasn't Stella. Someone who he actually wanted to kiss. It was odd. He hadn't been nervous kissing Stella, but with Jo, it was as if he wanted to explode everywhere. Kendall slid open his phone and brought it to his ear, wiping his lips adorably with a smile, wondering who would be calling him.

"Hello?" he asked curiously, still smiling at Jo who seemed glowing.

"Kendall, you and Logan need to get back here now," James said worriedly, the fear in his voice beyond evident to Kendall. Jo looked at how Kendall's giddy, happy face changed from one to confusion and fear based on the words from the other person on the phone.

"Why, what's going on?" Kendall asked baffled, turning to Logan with a confused face on, seeing him stand up with Camille's hand tightly in his, and walk over to them a bit concerned. "What's going on?" Logan asked softly a bit concerned, as Jo stood next to Kendall, with an arm on his lower back gently. Kendall mouthed I don't know, all eyes on him, as James said something to him. Kendall was unable to hear due to the passing cars, and sounds of drone horns from all over the city. Logan and Camille moved closer to them.

"James, I can't hear you, speak up," Kendall said to him loudly, his other hand holding his left ear closed.

"It's Carlos' dad, Kendall," James said worriedly, his voice tense. Kendall gave Logan a confused look and licked his lips confused, trying his hardest to hear James as loud as he could.

"What about him?" Kendall yelled into the phone loudly, trying to block out the busy cars on the road as best as he could. James sighed deeply, his voice breaking apart at the seams.

"Someone shot him."


	28. Being Thankful

**A/N: Alert, Alert! There is only about…two or three weeks of Hooked left! **

**So get all your reviews in, and please make me happy? I really want to break 500 reviews as a new milestone for me. It would be greatly appreciated!**

**I love all my readers and reviewers, and those who have been here from the beginning and are here now will be thanked at the end immensely ;D**

**And of course here is a snippet from the WONDERFUL Past The Sorrow by waterwicca. You MUST read and review! :D**

"Wake up, Logan!"

James Diamond stood beneath Logan Mitchell's second-story bedroom window, yelling loudly up to his raven haired friend. It was nearly noon, and the smart boy was never a morning person when he didn't get much sleep. They had just gotten back from a three week hockey camp late the night before, and now they were overly excited to be reunited with their childhood friend, Kendall Knight. James sighed heavily when he received no response, brushing his perfectly groomed brown hair away from his hazel eyes as he turned to his other best friend for help.

"Guess what day it is?" Carlos Garcia screamed happily up at the window with a brilliant smile that contrasted brightly against his naturally olive toned skin. He didn't hesitate to grab a clump of dirt from the ground in front of him. The soil beneath the expertly planted flowers in front of the Mitchell's house was thick and dark in his hands. Some of the substance slipped sloppily between his fingers, landing all over the meticulously manicured lawn. Mrs. Mitchell hired numerous people to keep her house looking like it belonged on the cover of a home improvement magazine, and Carlos always managed to foil her efforts in a matter of seconds. Just as the dirt launched from the short boy's hand and smacked against the window with a dull thud, Logan appeared to open it wide with a halfhearted scowl and a raised brow as he leaned over the edge for a better view.

"Is it the day I finally get my normal best friend back and you two start to calm down?" his chocolate eyes shimmered with a light of hope, but a smirk remained on his face; letting his pseudo-brothers know he was joking. As usual, the bubbly Latino and pretty brunette played along without missing a beat.

"Yes," James started, answering the first part of Logan's question right before Carlos interjected to finish.

"…and no," he added simply like it was an easy answer. Carlos and James would always be rambunctious and crazy, especially when they were around each other; feeding off of one another's high energy. Logan glared down at his friends, resting his forearms against the windowsill as he cast his eyes upward to survey the damage.

"Ugh! I just washed this window…" he whined, shaking his head in disapproval down at the boys on his lawn. He was used to their antics, and took it upon himself to keep them in line. He sighed heavily, figuring dirt on his window was probably the least damage Carlos could have done, and counted himself lucky. "Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?" Logan wondered, already slumping his shoulders and knowing that he would regret asking. His friends were never predictable, but, sometimes, the logic in the smart boy's mind made him ask the obvious questions anyway.

"When have we ever been conventional?" James scoffed playfully at his dark haired friend, swaying his head from side to side in mock frustration while not even bothering to offer a real answer to Logan's valid inquiry. Really, Carlos and the pretty boy just tried the first fun thing that came to their minds. They never declined an opportunity for a good time.

"I'm disappointed in you, Logan…" Carlos shook his head in the same rhythm as James while the tall brunette patted his shoulder dramatically in comfort as they frowned up at their genius of a friend.

"Well, I guess I'll just eat breakfast by myself since you're so upset with me…" Logan yawned loudly, stretching his arms above his head as he grinned down at his two best friends, knowing the pair would never deny food, especially Carlos, who's three main food groups were sugar, dinosaur shaped chicken, and corn dogs. He and James shared a look, having a silent conversation with their eyes.

"Do you have Pop-Tarts?" James asked for the both of them warily, fighting off his bright smile as the trio's banter was coming to an end. Logan nodded in affirmation, clasping his hands in front of his face as his upper body rested on the windowsill once again.

"We love you," Carlos shot him his adorable smile that could probably make a serial killer regret his ways and a monk break his vow of silence just to tell him how cute he was. Carlos could get anything he wanted with his childlike attitude and expressions; all displaying the high level of innocence he possessed even at the age of seventeen. Although he's seen the darker parts of life with his own eyes, he always kept his secure optimism and hope as weapons against even the most evil displays of mankind.

Logan predictably smirked down at his friend with a disbelieving chuckle, not able to understand how, after over twelve years of friendship, he could still fall for the charms of Carlos and the pretty boy, who was giving him the most brilliant smile he had ever seen. James was like Carlos in the fact that he could use his appearance to his advantage. However, while Carlos had a childlike appeal of uncontrollable excitement, the taller boy more often than not used his birthright of sex appeal and dazzling charm. His terribly handsome looks, along with the self-centered attitude that came with them, were inherited from his free spirited father. Luckily, while James often let this side of himself take center stage, he was also evened out with the drive and devotion passed down from his mother. She was a successful, powerful woman who paved her own way in life. James, like his father, was a dreamer; wanting to become a famous star in Hollywood. With his determination, neither Carlos nor Logan doubted it would happen. Even though he could be an arrogant pain at times, James' redeeming qualities were his fierce loyalty and love for his "brothers". They would always come first; before his dream and even before his parents. He had learned not to count on them after their divorce several years earlier. It tore their family apart and had his mother and father focusing on renewing their own lives while James' needs fell into the background. He loved his parents, but he would only let himself rely on his best friends. Logan and Carlos would always be there, and, hopefully, just as he was in childhood, Kendall would be too.

All three boys were counting on Kendall coming in and finishing the last part of their deconstructed square that was left broken when he moved away seven years ago. They all kept hope when he left, having been like brothers for years. They made it through all of the good and terrible times together; times that change who you are and shape who you'll become. These four were destined to stay together as a family even if circumstances out of their control divided them for awhile. Seven years seemed insignificant when compared to the rest of their lifetime.

**You wanna read right? I know you do, so do it! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :/**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Eight: Being Thankful_

When Kendall and Logan walked into apartment 2J, they didn't know what to expect.

They had dropped off Jo and Camille at their respective apartments silently, the two boys barely saying anything to their dates. Camille was able to see the tense, nervous but logical side of Logan, as she did her best to rest her hand on Logan's knee as he drove home idly. Kendall and Jo sat awkwardly in the back, the high bliss Kendall had felt dissipating by the second by the weight he carried on his shoulders.

Kendall didn't know why he thought of it, but it was if the second he had kissed Jo, and was actually happy without Stella in his life, something bad happened. He would never dare bring it up to Logan who would dismiss it without a second thought, but he felt that somehow these two events were connected. How else would it explain getting the news that Carlos' dad was shot at the exact second Kendall had kissed Jo? It was like the universe was trying to tell him something, seeing as the boy didn't listen. Kendall looked up from the back of the limo up to the window, seeing small stars beginning to peak out into the black sky, as if they were the brightest he had ever seen in his lifetime. At that moment, he closed his eyes and wished for Stella as the need washed over him.

Kendall and Logan walked into 2J, and saw James and Kim on the green laptop at the dining room table, with worried, upset faces on. They were both staring at the screen intently, going over something, both mouths mumbling words they read off the screen. Closing the door behind them, Logan rushedly threw his keys on the counter, James and Kim looking at the boys with a silent sigh as they frantically walked over with heavy steps. There was silent tension in the room, and the only thing that could be heard was the slight shuffling of Carlos in the back room.

"What_ happened_?" Logan asked them confused, his heart beating out of his chest as he twisted his fingers nervously. The second he had heard the news of Carlos' father being shot, his mind instantly went to his own father…who he wasn't talking to. It was on the way home, that all Logan was thinking was that Carlos and his father would be okay, and that he wanted to call up his own dad, and tell him how much he loved him. It was a sense of guilt Logan felt since the moment he had found out the news. Here Carlos was, trying to repair the relationship he had with his father, and Logan was just ignoring his dad as if he didn't exist. If Carlos could forgive his father for his mistakes, why couldn't Logan?

Kendall followed Logan close behind, the gears in his head turning and twisting, thinking of what Carlos must've felt like, knowing it must've been bad. Carlos was definitely the most emotional in the group, and he couldn't even imagine what would happen if the Latino lost his father, especially with everything going on between them lately. At the age of 7, when he had lost his first pet, Sparky, the boy had been inconsolable for days. Mourning the death of a childhood dog was one thing, but mourning the death of father was something the boys had all bit a been too familiar with. Carlos was just starting to get back on the right foot with his father, and then he gets a phone call that he had been shot, and that it was bad with no other real details. It didn't seem logical at all to Kendall, seeing as that Peter had been on the force since before Carlos and his mother were even married, and _now_ when their relationship was getting back to where it was previously, it fell apart again. Why now?

"How bad is it, mom?" Kendall asked his mother with sad eyes. Kim's blue eyes seemed distraught, and they reminded Kendall a bit of the eyes she had worn when she had told Kendall what happened to his father, the day he died. That truthful, upset face, where it seems as everything in the world is about to crash down on you, no matter how strong you think you are.

"It's bad, Kendall," Kim strangled out of her dry throat, the rims of her eyes red. "He's in critical condition, and they had to perform emergency surgery on him," she choked out. "That's all that Marta has told me," she barely got out, sucking on her bottom lip, her voice breaking. James offered Kim a tissue from the table, seeing her eyes glass over again, as they had many times since she heard the news. She graciously took it and smiled at him. "Thanks, sweetie," she said, dabbing at her eyes as James exchanged upset looks with his brothers. If anyone didn't deserve this, it was Carlos, and they _all_ knew it. It was as if each one of them imagined the look on the boy's face when he heard the news, James being the only one to witness it, and it tore their hearts into pieces.

"Where is he?" Logan asked confused, arching his head into the hallway. Kendall looked down at the computer screen and squinted his eyes. He saw that James and his mother were booking Carlos a flight to Minnesota at 6 AM tomorrow morning, the first one they could possibly get due to Carlos and his mother's request. He sighed deep, and saw his silent Latino friend hurrying towards them from the back hallway to the dining room table in a tizzy, as if his sole concentration was somehow getting to Minnesota in the next five minutes. Carlos dropped the bag on the floor quickly, fistfuls of clothes in his hand as he shoved them into the hockey duffel with heavy breaths, his cheeks tear stained. He stuffed the scarf in the side pocket rushedly and tried his best to fit all his clothes into it.

"Carlos," Kendall said easily, walking over to him, not being able to see the boy's face. Kendall ducked his head down to Carlos' as the two best friends caught eyes in a solid, overbearing stare. The Latino's eyes were bloodshot and watery, the lids along the bottoms of his eyes swollen, eyelashes dropped with tears of dew. Kendall stared into the chocolate eyes of his best friend, and Carlos swallowed hard, locking eyes with Kendall as if the boy was bothering him by looking. It seemed as if every fear and fright Carlos had harbored in the last three years was effectively being brought back into his life all at one time, crashing onto him like gale wind. Kendall knew about the nights Carlos would stay up past midnight, waiting for his dad to come home from his job, tears in the small boys eyes whenever Peter was even just a few minutes late. He feared the worst for his father, and even though the town of Duluth was relatively low in crime, it didn't stop Carlos from worrying. As much as he didn't want to show it, Carlos feared for his father's life on the police force, and even though it got less and less as he got older, it was still a part of his heart.

Carlos looked like a scared little boy.

"I-I gotta pack," he said rushedly, biting his lower lip and sighing, his hands shaking. Logan and Kendall had gotten the call only fifteen minutes ago, and Kendall could tell that Carlos was still physically reacting to it. His entire body shook, his hands a dark brown and his face losing color, as if all of it were being sucked down into his fingertips. Carlos panted heavily, and shot Kim and James a look of concern. "Did you book my flight?" he asked them with a sore, strangled call. Kim stood up from her chair, locking eyes with Carlos and she nodded, coming over to him before the boy took back off into his room in a frenzy.

"Carlos, sweetie why don't you sit down, Kendall, Logan and James will pack your things," Kim said to him softly, coming over to the boy and putting a shaking hand on his back. Carlos shook his head no and recoiled from Kim's touch as if it was fire, the older woman looking surprised at his usually loving reaction.

"No...I-I need to pack. I have to get home," he said nervously, stumbling over his words as he shoved more clothes into his suitcase frantically. Kendall exchanged looks with his two heartbroken brothers, Logan looking like a deer in headlights at the sight before him. The pale boy was nearly hypnotized by Carlos' actions, somehow feeling his insides tear apart from the way Carlos had taken a radical 180 from his usual cheerful self, in this horrible mask of upset and frustration that didn't look well on him whatsoever. Carlos shoved his shirts into the already full duffle, trying to close it with no success. "Come on!" he grunted at the bag in despair, finally not being able to handle it anymore and kicking it harshly with a grunt. "Nothing **fucking** fits!" he screamed out loudly, his breaths heavily turning into cries. The dining room chair jerked a bit before falling to the ground loudly, everyone in the room jumping as Carlos closed his eyes and cursed loudly.

He was a mess.

Kendall, by instinct, immediately grabbed Carlos into a violent hug, the smaller boy immediately sobbing into his best friend's shoulder, clawing onto him for dear life. Kendall tightened his grasp around the boy, feeling the warmth of his body, and the trembling of it against his fingertips. He had never seen Carlos so petrified in all his life, and the truth was that he had never been more scared for their friendship as he was now. It was as the roles were reversed, and Kendall was standing beside his father's grave again, clutching to his best friends who gave him all the strength he had lost.

"I c-can't lose him," Carlos cried out in hysterics, his tears cascading down his face, creating small droplets on Kendall's black vest.

"It's gonna be okay, buddy. He'll pull through, he _has_ to," Kendall spoke out softly, his voice relatively unsure. Kendall looked at his friends and mother over Carlos' shoulder, seeing the horror on their faces, and the strong, familiar expression of helplessness Kendall had seen continually throughout time. James had an arm around Kim, holding her tightly as she sobbed quietly, Logan still frozen at the scene he saw in front of him.

Kendall sighed deeply, still hugging Carlos tightly, a million and five things going through his head. Somehow the first two were his father, and Stella. As if it was planned from all of her to rush back to him, Kendall was overthrown by a giant gust of feelings for the blonde, more powerful than anything that had come over him before. The kiss he had with Jo was instantly blown from his mind, along with the girl completely, as the visions and sensations of having sex with Stella clouded his brain, causing his green eyes to sting painfully and unwillingly. He didn't know if it was the pure fact that Carlos' emotion had gotten to him, the thought of the boy going back to Minnesota for a few days, or simply the fact that Kendall's heart couldn't bear to forget Stella anymore. He felt like he needed to cry, and collapse on his brother's for support, but he couldn't right now. He needed to keep his feelings in and try to swallow them down as good as he good, because right now, Carlos was hurting and Kendall needed to make it better.

A huge, emotional tidal wave.

"I-I don't know how long I'll be there, I-I the band, and G-Gustavo," Carlos cried out softly, coiling away from Kendall's arms, shakily going to pick up his bag, and the clothes that hung out of it. It was if everything in Carlos' life was falling down around him, and he sighed, shrugging his shoulders angrily, as if he had just found the man responsible for the shot. "H-how is this going to work?" he asked the room silently.

"I already talked to Gustavo, sweetheart. It's fine, he understands," Kim said gently, her voice sore from emotion. Each boy looked at her like she was completely out of her mind and Kim smiled a bit, giving them each a slight chuckle. "Well I made him understand, alright? You guys will be off for a few days, he said you've been working hard anyway," Kim told them with a small smile, a small tear falling from her eye. Kendall looked at his heartfelt mother and then back at Carlos who sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, the last of the tears falling from his eyes.

"I'm coming with you," Kendall told them outrightly.

Carlos picked his head up and looked at the tall, natural stance that the blonde had taken. It was as if this newfound confidence, and surge of imperialism had run through Kendall, something the boys hadn't seen on display as it was since before he left. He said it in that Kendall Knight way, where it was as if nothing was going to stop him. Kendall Knight was slowly returning back to the brick wall he was before his father died, and it was as everyone in the room got that message at that moment, including Kendall himself. A certain atmosphere hung through the room, and it was as if all the boys' hearts and faces got a bit lighter at Kendall's dedication to his best friend. The boy took a deep gulp at his own words, his throat dry and heart pounding, fists balled up beside him. He looked at Carlos again and nodded, his face contorting as if he didn't have control of his own words, as if he didn't want to have control of his own words.

The past four months had been absolute chaos for Kendall Knight. He had fallen in love, beaten up his best friend, threatened his other best friend, made his sister scared of him, grown closer to his mother, broken a beautiful brunette girl's heart and gotten his own heart broken to the point of beyond depression. It was if Kendall's life was some sort of sick game since his father had died, but as he stood there with Carlos in the living room, surrounded by all his friends, he realized something.

He was Kendall Knight.

And the only reason he had been thrown this stuff by the universe, was to grow and to learn from it.

He was the only one that could handle all of it, no matter what he went through. It had happened for a reason.

"I'm coming with you."

Carlos looked up at Kendall and nodded silently, Kim not taking a breath. There was no talking Kendall out of this one, and they all knew it. He turned to his mother, and swallowed hard.

"Book me a seat on that flight."

* * *

There was not one clue to where Kendall was in California.

Stella had been living in the Knight house ever since that day she had snuck in through the hole in the garage, and now while more welcomed by the still warm water, the bare couch, and Kendall's soft plaid shirt, she still had nowhere to go. She couldn't live here forever. It would never work like that. And while she knew it all along, she knew that she couldn't leave just yet.

Stella had gone out and ventured in the busy streets of Duluth nearly every day, trying to find some way to get some information on Kendall. After the first few days she had been in the house, trying to get comfortable and telling herself she couldn't stay there, Stella went to investigating around town. She had found that the Knight's took most of their belongings with them to California, only leaving furniture, and televisions, and other bulky things back here to collect dust for the three or so months they were gone. In the linen closet downstairs however, Stella had found a collection of winter coats, a fitness suit, and a Duluth High hockey sweatshirt with Knight and the number 12 on the back. She figured it must've been from Kendall's school, and as she ran her hands over the soft material, she wondered how many times Kendall had worn this, and if his persona was still intact with it.

She slipped it on over her bare, white shoulders, and sighed at the warmth that enveloped her, taking in the musty smell of his cologne and his shampoo that she had always loved. It was as if the second she put on the sweatshirt she was at peace. All her problems seemed to float away, even if they did pertain to Kendall, because in that moment, he was right there with her. Stella always felt protected when she wore something of Kendall's, whether it was his plaid shirt, hockey sweatshirt, or the blue cardigan he had given her at Christmas.

However as soon as she took it off, whether to shower or change, the coldness came back. The bitterness came back. The fear that she would never find him came back to haunt her.

Stella had been travelling to Sherwood's market on weekdays to "borrow" groceries, and hopefully find out more about Kendall from anyone who could say anything. Being a master thief to her time on the road, Stella found it easy to slip a few things from Sherwood's shelves into her large sweatshirt of Kendall's, just to help her get by.

Today, Stella walked through the aisles of the grocery store, keeping her eye out for anything that might strike her as suspicious between people talking. Sherwood's was the place where all the women in the town would congregate and gossip as they bought their weight watchers meals and fat free yogurts. As she walked down the cereal aisle, biting her lower lip, she saw two women at the end of the aisle in deep conversation.

This was a jackpot. Anytime two women's carts were touching opposite ways, and their hands flailed about with their expressions, it was bound to be good gossip. Stella had learned this from her time here, and quickly took her position where she could be seen but not suspected. Anytime Stella saw two people engrossed in conversation at the market, she would instantly jump to them, and pretend to look at whatever item surrounded them. It was even better when it was women, because Stella knew how much they liked to gossip. Just the other day, the blonde thought she had a lead when she heard two older women talking about California in the frozen meats section. She had carefully and quietly made her way over to them, picking up a pork roast and examining it carefully as she listened to the blonde women's words. Unfortunately, the only thing the woman talked about was the drama going on in her life, and how her daughter's boyfriend wanted to move to California and take her away from Minnesota to live some kind of stupid acting dream.

It was small disappointments like these that made Stella think she should just get on with her life, and try her best to forget about Kendall like she had done before, even if it was nearly impossible no matter what she did.

She knew that they could never be together, that they were too different, and not right for each other.

But she could _not_ go on without knowing that Kendall felt the exact same way.

"How is Marta doing?" one brunette woman asked the other one, her hands tight on the shopping cart. It seemed like there was a somber, upset atmosphere between the two of them, both of their expressions in a frown. In the blonde women's cart was French bread, some pasta, sauce, and a few other necessities, such as deodorant, hairspray and a box of condoms hidden at the bottom, which Stella was a bit surprised at.

"Not good. Carlos is flying in today though, so I hope that makes her feel a bit better," the other responded in a thick accent that Stella took as French. She looked at the woman who answered, and couldn't help but feel that she looked very familiar with her blonde hair and dark eyebrows. She was dressed in jeans, boots and a formfitting shirt with a light coat over it, with highly rouged cheeks and a layer of red lipstick on her lips. The woman spoke with some sort of disappointment in her response as Stella fingered a box of cookies on the foot of the aisle, just a few feet away from them.

"I hope he's alright," the brunette said sadly, as the blonde woman sighed.

"I know. I hope James is alright too, and Logan and Kendall too. None of them should have to deal with this," she said, as Stella's eyes got wide.

It was if just the sound of Kendall's name made Stella's heart stop, and her feet gravitate off the ground like she could do anything.

After weeks of searching for some sort of clue to where he was, she had found a lead. Stella thought back to the picture she had found of Kendall and his friends in the garage when she had first broken into the house, being familiar the names in conversation as Kendall's best friends since as long as he could remember. That's where she had recognized the woman from, seeing as with brown hair she could resemble her beautiful, gorgeous long-lashed son perfectly. Stella moved closer to the women with a smile, trying to look as if she was shopping and hiding her containment as much as possible. All she needed was a name of a place, even a town in California where they were.

"Have you talked to James since the news?" the brunette asked her.

"Yeah. They are all pretty shaken up about everything. James said Kendall is coming back with Carlos, seeing as Kim couldn't stop him," the blonde said. "You know that boy, he doesn't take no for an answer," the blonde said with a chuckle.

Jackpot.

Stella breathed heavily and quickly tucked herself into the next aisle, leaning against the cans of vegetables, holding the shelf with a shaking hand. Kendall was coming back here? Her breaths were heavy and she closed her eyes, a pure smile of joy spreading across her face as her heart raced in her ribcage, pounding against it like a bass drum.

It was meant to be.

Stella let out a small cry of joy, closing her eyes tight, a tear squeezing down her cheek, and falling to the floor. Kendall was coming home. She would be able to see him, to touch his hair and his arms, to hopefully kiss his lips. She wanted nothing more than to somehow jump into his body, so they could be one all the time. She wanted to be a part of Kendall so he could live his life the way he wanted to, but always carry Stella around with him. She wanted nothing more than to fully live in him, and never let him go.

But it just wasn't in the cards for them.

* * *

Kendall and Carlos walked from the plane with their carry-on's on their shoulders somberly, looking around the vast Minnesota airport they had left from so long ago. It seemed like months they had been in California, when it had only been nearly four weeks. Carlos hadn't said much the entire plane trip, to Kendall or to the flight attendant that was "flagging" them, much to Kim's discourse about her son and his best friend being a plane alone. Kendall was glad that Carlos hadn't said much to him, because quite frankly, Kendall was more than messed up in the head about all of this going on.

He had lost his father, and while he didn't know the _fear_ of losing one, he knew what Carlos was feeling and worse. If anyone could understand what he was going through, it was Kendall. Just the thoughts going through Carlos' head were enough to scare the boy the point of muteness. He had seen Kendall lose his father, lose his idol and lose his mind. He had seen the attitude change, the psychological problems, the raw hurt and emotion he had gone through. Carlos didn't want to go through that, he didn't want to have to bury his father. There was no way he could possibly handle it. He wasn't Kendall Knight. He was Carlos Garcia.

"My mom should be right at the gate," Carlos mumbled lowly under his breath as Kendall sighed deeply and nodded. Carlos fastened his bag on his shoulder and Kendall immediately snapped it from the boy, sending Carlos to jerk back a bit as he looked at Kendall confused. The blonde instantly took the bag from his friend and fastened it on his opposite shoulder, the Latino giving him a strange, watery-eyed look.

"If I was you, the first thing I would want to do is hug my mom. I'm just making it easier for you," Kendall said with a small smile. Carlos smiled at Kendall, seeing the genuine good in his friend, and the care that Kendall had for him. It was at that moment the Latino felt a bit selfish, having not talked to Kendall the entire trip, or done anything to thank him for giving up his time to fly out here with Carlos so he wouldn't have to go alone.

The two boys walked out into the busy Minnesota airport and sighed, seeing Marta sitting right across from their gate, nervously tapping her fingers against the side of the chair. The second she saw Carlos and Kendall, she stood up from her seat, and Carlos' eyes started to water. The emotional pull of seeing his mom in this state just made everything worse in his head as he took a shaky breath in.

"_Mami," _he said softly, picking up his speed as he walked over to her. Marta stood there with her arms open as Carlos rushed into them, holding the small woman close to him in a tight embrace. Marta nuzzled her face into Carlos' neck, finally having something to hold on to, as she let out a small sigh.

"I've missed you so much, _mijo,_" Marta said softly, her voice breaking. Kendall watched the exchange from a distance, letting Carlos and his mother have their time alone, resting the bags down on the airport floor due to their heaviness. Marta took her son's face in her hands and kissed his forehead tenderly, seeing the horror in his eyes.

"How is he?" Carlos asked her terrified. Marta sighed.

"Better. He hasn't woken up yet since the surgery, but he's better," Marta said, swallowing hard. Carlos nodded and sighed, hugging his mother tight again. Kendall looked around the busy airport as Marta and Carlos became reacquainted, sighing deeply. He couldn't believe he was back home again. It was a bit surreal that just four weeks ago he had been standing at this exact spot, with Marta and Peter, Kelley, and Lucie and Jason, all saying good-bye to their children as they embarked on an unsure journey of fame and superstardom.

"Kendall," Marta said softly, walking up the blonde with a smile. Kendall was shaken out of his trance, hypnotized by all the people walking, busy with their own lives as he stared down at Carlos' mother. Kendall smiled and hugged her tightly, Marta giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for coming with Carlos. It means a lot," she whispered to him as Kendall nodded, his hands around her small back. They parted and Marta smiled at the two boys. "I just wish we were together again on better terms," she told them with a sigh.

Both boys nodded in agreeance. It was true. They could be here on better terms.

"Why don't I take you boys to the house so you can drop your stuff off home, and then we can go to the hospital," Marta said, looking from green to brown eyes, making sure it was okay with the boys. Neither contested but just nodded as they descended on the extended part of their long journey from California.

* * *

"I don't know if I can do this," Carlos said softly to Kendall as the two stood outside of Peter Garcia's hospital room. Marta had led the boys here, and the entire time Carlos hadn't said a word, but had been perfectly fine. He surely wasn't smiling, but he wasn't near hyperventilating like he was now. Carlos leaned against the hospital wall, hanging his head and breathing heavily at the fact that he was going to have to see his father in this condition. It was times like these when the love Carlos had for Peter really was shown in the greatest light. As much as this whole situation sucked, Carlos and Marta's true admiration and dedication to the man who had sometimes made their lives a living hell really showed. They were in fear of losing him for good now, seeing as when he moved out, he was never really gone in the first place…just away.

"I know it's gonna be hard man, but you'll be fine, because your dad is going to be fine. He's already doing better," Kendall said, trying his best to calm down his best friend's nerves. Truthfully, Kendall didn't even know what he was saying to Carlos at this point. His mind had been all over the place, thinking of Jo, and Stella, and his father, and Carlos' father, and the band, and everything else that he could possibly think of. It was if the last four weeks of progression in every single issue had possible was slowly re-washing up on the shore a little more clear, but a little more colossal. Kendall's mind seemed to chaotically bounce from one thing to the next, not even giving his mind time to set down and think of something in a whole.

"But what if he doesn't Kendall? What if he dies, just like your dad died," Carlos spat out, not thinking about how the comment would affect his friend. The blonde put his head down and sighed, taking a moment to remember the life of his father. Luckily, he wasn't the one who had seen his father on a stretcher, mutilated from waist down, covered in blood. Kendall was thankful he had never seen that image, and only the clean body of his father at his mass and funeral. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Carlos said, in fear that Kendall may spite up with anger again. But the boy just shook his head and sighed.

"He won't, Carlos. He is going to be fine, I promise," Kendall told the boy. Carlos sighed and leaned his head against the wall, looking at the door to his right, his comatose father just a wall and a few feet from him. He looked at Kendall who smiled at him comfortingly, offering a hand to the boys shoulder. "Just go in there and be with him," Kendall said. Carlos nodded and sighed, looking up at his best friend.

"Count to one-fifty and then come in?" Carlos asked him with soft brown eyes, and a half smile. Kendall's lips curled up and he nodded, squeezing Carlos' shoulder tightly.

"You betcha."

Carlos took one more deep breath and turned to the oak hospital door, able to see his father's sleeping form from the tiny window in the door. He slowly gripped the knob and pushed the door open, getting a bit dizzy from the smell of cleaning products and flowers that wafted into his nose the second he opened the door. Kendall stood outside the door, counting to fifty as Carlos' eyes fixated on his sleeping father, with machines buzzing all around him. Peter's arm was in a cast, there was a thick bandage around his head and he wore a blue and green hospital gown.

However the boy's eyes were soon turned to a tall, beautiful, older woman who sat in the corner of the room, biting her nails nervously. Marta stood up from the chair she sat in beside her ex-husband, as Carlos looked from Marta, to the woman, to his father, and then back to his mother. The mysterious woman in the corner stood up with a warm smile. She had long black hair down to her back, a beautifully made up face, and wore tight jeans, and a long sleeved shirt with boots.

"Mijo, this is Gabriela. Your father's girlfriend," Marta said a bit awkwardly, trying to get the last word out the best she could. Even though not in love, it was still hard for her to imagine Peter with someone else especially since she had just found out about it. Carlos looked at the woman with almost a bit of shock, seeming to have forgotten him and his father's last conversation about her. Marta stood behind her son, her hand gently squeezing his shoulder with a smile, the only sound in the room the beeping of the machines.

Gabriela smiled easily, and looked from Marta to Carlos a bit nervously. Even though she was more than a foot taller than both Garcia's, she looked at Carlos and Marta like they held all authority. Carlos could see the bags under her eyes, and how her lashes collected small drops of tears that she had thought were totally gone. The three just stared for a few moments, Gabriela finally taking a deep breath.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Carlos," she said, extending a hand out to the boy. Carlos swallowed hard and shook it accordingly, not really giving her much of a tell tale expression to what he felt about her. Right now, she wasn't any problem to the boy. It was his father, laying in a hospital bed in a coma that was the problem. He didn't give two shits that his father had a girlfriend who was staying in the same room as his mother.

"You too," the boy said politely, dropping his hand from hers and taking a deep sigh at the situation. Gabriela backed off a bit, as Marta squeezed Carlos' shoulders and kiss his head gently with a small smile.

"Why don't you sit down in the chair for a little while, and me and Gabriela will give you some privacy," Marta said softly. Gabriela nodded, and instantly walked past Carlos, as she exited the room slowly. Marta kissed Carlos' hair once more and squeezed his shoulder. "It's going to be alright, Mijo. Don't worry," she said to him softly, before turning on her heel, and exiting out into the hallway. Carlos stayed still, looking around at the beeping machines that were hooked up to his father, and all the other disgusting things he hated about hospitals.

The last time Carlos was in the hospital had been the time that he had fallen out of the tree house Peter had made for him in the backyard. Him and the boys had used it all the time, whether it was going up there when they were seven to switch trading cards or going up there at thirteen to look at Logan's fathers Playboys that he hid in the bathroom. It had been just around the time his father had moved out and part of the reason that Carlos milked his barely fractured arm so badly, and screamed and cried at the simplest touch of it was because he thought it could bring his parents together. Carlos remembered having to up his game and acting, so that Peter would be concerned enough to come down the hospital to see his son. Now being nearly sixteen, Carlos knew that his father would've come down no matter what had happened, even if it was just a scrape or bruise, because he loved the boy. It was parent logic. Parents love their children no matter what the circumstances.

Carlos sighed and sat down next to his father, watching his lifeless body just lay flat, nothing moving in the room around him. It was as if he was frozen in time, not being able to escape the room in which he sat in. He didn't know what to say to his father, just laying there lifelessly.

"You're gonna be alright, _Papi. _That's what everyone is promising me," Carlos said softly, looking at his father's closed eyes. He sighed deeply and fiddled with his fingers, nervously trying to find the words to say next. "Kendall said you'll be fine, Mami said you'll be fine, even Logan is giving you good chances, and he's a doctor," Carlos said with a chuckle, only soon remembering that his father could probably hear him but wouldn't respond.

Logan had told Carlos once, reading from his medical book his father had gotten him, that people in comas can hear what you are saying but that they just can't respond. Logan had said that being a coma is sort of like having no voice, and trying to scream with no one hearing you. The thought scared Carlos a bit as he looked at his father sitting there with a expressionless face and heavy eyes.

"I miss you. And I-I have to admit, that I know we've been talking every day and trying to make up for lost time, but when you told me…that you had a girlfriend, I-I was a bit surprised," Carlos said sitting back in the char more comfortably. He sighed deeply and bit his lower lip, taking a few seconds to get his thoughts straight, knowing his father could hear him. "It's not like I'm not happy for you, because I know you deserve someone to love just like Mami does, but…I guess it was the fact that you didn't tell me?" he said, in more a of question towards himself. He took a few seconds of silence and breathed out softly, trying his best to keep his total composure. "Gabriela seems really nice and all, a-and I guess I was just a little upset by the whole thing. I mean you've never had a girlfriend before and I don't know, I guess I was just confused," Carlos rambled on with a soft laugh. "It sounds so stupid now," he mumbled out softly. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed deeply, then reverting his gaze back to his father. "I just want you to be okay, Papi. I can't lose you. I can't handle it, I'm not strong enough," Carlos told his father. "I mean, look at Kendall. He lost his father, and look at all the shit he went through to get where he is," he paused with a small chuckle, "I don't know how he does it. It's just like…he can handle the things that I can't. He's lost a father, and then there is Stella, who broke his heart into pieces," Carlos said. "You know, I think he really did love her. I didn't believe it until I saw the way he acted after they last saw each other, and the raw emotion he felt, but I-I'm starting to think that maybe it wasn't all bullshit. I mean, look at how upset Mami is over you being in here, she is a mess, and you guys aren't even married. I just…he's so strong, Papi, and I could only dream to be like that," he whispered out softly.

Carlos suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and he jerked a bit, looking up at who was behind him. There he saw the beautiful green eyes of his best friend.

"I-I counted until one-fifty," Kendall said with a smile, Carlos nodding at him awkwardly. He hung his head a bit, and then looked back at Kendall.

"Did you happen to hear that last part?" Carlos asked him. Kendall shrugged and nodded modestly with a smile.

"Uh, you know, I-I didn't mean it like…like," Carlos said a bit embarrassed at his sentiment, but Kendall interrupted with a laugh and nod.

"I know, dude. You like girls," Kendall said with a laugh. Carlos chuckled for a moment and then looked at his father and sighed.

"It's true though, you know? About how strong you are," he told him, eyes still locked on his father. Kendall swallowed hard and looked down at his sneakers, as Carlos boosted him up on a pedestal to be this strong, amazing teenager he didn't feel he was. "And how genuine, and just…you can handle anything, Kendall. It may not come easy, but you can handle it," Carlos told him, "and if I-I ever lost my father," he said, his voice beginning to break at the seams. Carlos brought his hand up to his mouth and covered it pensively, trying his best to keep his composure. He took a deep breath and looked back at his blonde friend, who looked sheepishly embarrassed by all of these compliments. "You lost two people you _loved_, Kendall," he whispered. Kendall smiled at Carlos' recognition of Stella's love towards him, as wide as he could. It hurt that only now he was starting to believe it, where he didn't know if he would ever possibly see Stella again, but at least he knew he wasn't crazy anymore.

"Two people? What? You finally believe I wasn't kidding you all about Stella?" Kendall asked him in a lighthearted way, chuckling at the Latino. Carlos looked up at Kendall with a smile.

"I guess so," he said.

"Why now?" Kendall asked him confused.

"Look at my family, Kendall," Carlos said softly. My parents had the worst divorce this town has ever seen, my father was never home, I watched my mom cry herself to sleep for months," Carlos said, closing his eyes, trying to block out the pain. He turned to the blonde with heavy, innocent eyes and sighed deeply. "How am I supposed to believe in love after that?

Kendall went to speak, but inadvertently shut his mouth, looking at his best friend's father.

Carlos had a point.


	29. Sherwood's

**A/N: Sorry this is so late guys! ;/ It might technically be Sunday, but it was a long day today.**

**I hope you guys like this, and please, please, please I am BEGGING you to review, and give me some feedback on what you liked? It only takes a few seconds, and it would mean A LOT to me, especially since this will be my last story on this site. Come summer, I won't be starting anymore LARGE OC stories, and coming fall, I won't really be writing anything anymore. So it would make me very happy to have my last story break over 500 reviews?**

**Thank you to all my reviewers who I love, especially so-complicated (you really need to check out her story Something to Sleep To! Its amazing)**

**And here is a snippet from waterwicca's amazing masterpiece that is too good for FanFiction (in my opinion) Past The Sorrow:**

"We're heading out, Dad!" James called to his father as he turned the television off and stood up from the couch with Logan and Carlos on either side of him.

The trio had spent the evening at James' apartment where he lived almost full time with his dad, only staying with his mother every other weekend after he turned thirteen. His divorced parents had shared custody of their only son for the first several years after their split, but, once James was old enough, they let him make his own choices as to where he wanted to live; knowing that they would see their son more than enough because they both lived so close to one another. Christopher Diamond rented a condo in Sherwood, while his ex-wife had a house near the edge of town.

"You guys have fun! I want details in the morning. If you come back home with any girls, just put a sock on the door," Chris walked into the main room of the condo wearing only a pair of overly ripped jeans with a wide smile and a beer in his hand as he nudged his son's shoulder playfully. James laughed and nodded, bumping fists with his father as Carlos giggled beside them. Logan rolled his eyes and bit his tongue, never appreciating Christopher Diamond's lack of maturity even around his only son that he was supposed to be responsible for most of the time.

Logan never really liked spending time around James' place, not feeling safe around Chris' nonchalant parenting style, and becoming more stressed as they aged, feeling as if it was his job to keep James out of harm's way with no one else to look out for him. He also didn't have an excuse to not hang out at the Diamond's since his mother was still away on business and couldn't make up a lie that she said he wasn't allowed to go. Truthfully, Logan was permitted to do almost anything he wanted, Laura Mitchell fully trusting her responsible son with his own upbringing most of the time while she was busy with work. However, the fretful brunette often used his repetitively absent mother as an excuse for his worrisome ways.

"This is gonna be awesome. It's our first time around everyone as seniors. We're gonna run the school!" Carlos giggled excitedly, almost tripping over his own feet as he danced wildly towards the door with James in tow with his own hop in his step.

The group was on their way to a party being held in the woods by the recently graduated teens. It was the first one of the old students' final summer before college. The boys were expected to make an appearance, but they wouldn't necessarily be missed if they never showed. However, James was pulling his friends along on his ride to the top of the hierarchy, being the master of mingling and socializing with his peers. The pretty boy was all about making impressions and a popular name for himself and his best friends. Most thought James was independent, but a small fact only known to those surrounding him constantly was that the aspiring star hated being alone.

"We're not really seniors until September," Logan reminded them smartly, effectively ending the pair's celebration. "Also, I don't think Ms. Cohen would approve of us going to a party in the middle of the night where there will most likely be alcohol and-"

"Logan, you worry too much, man! Besides, Sandy's not in charge here. I am. James' mom tends to suck the fun and life out of everything. Right, Son?" Chris chuckled and winked at James, who easily laughed along with a vigorous nod.

Sandra Cohen, formerly Mrs. Sandra Diamond, was so different from Chris that they contrasted more harshly than night and day or fire and ice. While Mr. Diamond was a free spirited dreamer, Sandra was a strict, well focused real estate agent. It was easy to see why the wild James would want to live with his father. He felt that he was understood more around Chris, and the man supported his son's big Hollywood hopes; having numerous unrealized pipedreams of his own. When he was around his dad, James could get away with almost anything short of murdering someone, while his mother would always keep a close eye on him. She worries about his lofty ideas and attitudes, wishing with all of her heart that James would be more realistic or at least have a Plan B to fall back on if he couldn't make it in Los Angeles. James, though, didn't want to hear any possibilities of failure pass her lips; their conversations usually infuriating him to the point of storming out even on his weekends at her place.

As Logan watched the group laugh beside him at the expense of James' hardworking mother, he was suddenly glad that he didn't have a father in the picture at all if his parents weren't going to be happily married like the Garcia's or like Kendall's parents used to be before Mr. Knight's death. At least Logan wasn't forced to hear opinions on his father from others who hated him. With just his mom around occasionally, he was allowed the luxury of formulating his own views on her and his nonexistent father. Whether the thoughts were good or bad, they were his and his alone with no one else grooming him to think otherwise. Logan actually enjoyed spending time with Sandra when he would occasionally see her on her weekend with James. The woman reminded him of his own mother, except she was always around and actually making an effort to fit herself into James' life. James thought it was a nuisance, but Logan couldn't help but feel a bit jealous and infuriated at him for not being thankful for what he had.

As usual, Logan decided to stay out of it as he walked towards the door, knowing he wouldn't be able to talk his way out of going to the party.

"Let's go if we're going," he sighed heavily and held the front door open, waving his hand dramatically to usher James and Carlos through.

"Cheer up, Logie! It's a party, not a funeral… See ya around, Chris!" Carlos pushed his friend playfully before turning back to say goodbye to James' dad. Logan couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes a second time. Mr. Diamond had always insisted the boys call him by his first name, and the respectful boy hated it. Logan wouldn't have minded so much if it was a gradual change as they got older, actually feeling as though James' dad was offering them a level of respect and maturity as he saw them as men, but Christopher had none of this in mind. He had them calling him "Chris" since they were six years old.

"Goodnight, Mr. Diamond," Logan smirked as he turned to follow Carlos out the door, knowing that the man would instantly correct his choice of name.

**You know you wanna read it, so do it! And review! It's the PERFECT time to catch up! :D**

**And now, we have Hooked.**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Nine: Sherwood's_

Carlos Garcia walked through the automatic glass doors of Sherwood's Grocery with a sigh. He had never been one for food shopping, especially since he couldn't drive and the market was a bit far from his house. He could always take the bus, but that was ever worse than walking at times, since on especially cold days, people piled up into it, clinging to each other for warmth. Carlos decided that he needed to clear his head anyway, so he took the half a mile walk down towards Sherwood's, clutching his mother's shopping list in her hand.

Carlos found it sweet that his mom didn't want to leave his dad, even though Gabriela was there most of the time. When Carlos had asked her why she was so adamant about staying all the time, Marta replied with a kiss to the boy's head and a simple "he's your father, mijo," answer. It was good enough for Carlos.

He and Kendall had been here a day already, and nothing else on Peter had been of attention to them. His father was still in a coma, breathing, but asleep. As much as Carlos had come back to Minnesota to be there for his dad, he needed some time out of the hospital, seeing as he had slept there last night with Kendall in the waiting room. The boys had passed out on the couches in there, Marta asking for blankets from the hospital to cover her son and his best friend. She had pressed a kiss to each of their foreheads before retreating back to the room with Peter.

Marta had asked Carlos to get her some things from the grocery store, so she could cook Kendall and Carlos dinner tonight, seeing as the boys had been living on hospital food as well as vending machine treats since landing. Kendall normally would've joined Carlos to the store, but his mother had told him to go home and check on the house, to make sure everything was still there. The boys had agreed that after shopping, they could go back to the hospital via Kendall's car. The keys to the boys blue Chevy were still in the house, seeing as there was no reason to bring them to California. Kendall was going to check on the house, drive over to Sherwood's, and then he and Carlos would drop off the groceries at the Garcia house, visit the hospital, and then take Marta back with them.

Carlos entered the bustling market, in which everyone on this side of Duluth went to. The aisles were filled with hockey-moms, old women, and couples food shopping for the week. Anytime Carlos came in here, it was a rarity to find a cute teenage girl, or something like that. Anywhere Carlos went in Minnesota, or even LA, he had his eye peeled for any cute girls he might be able to charm with his chocolate eyes and white smile, but here, he figured he wouldn't have to look, since there was guaranteed no possibility.

"Okay, first thing is…" Carlos said, taking out the crumpled list and scanning over the seven items written in his mom's messy handwriting, "eggs," he finished.

Carlos pushed the paper deep into his pocket and picked up a red basket to the left of him. Holding the black handles tightly he went over the frozen and fresh section of the market, holding his jacket closer to him from the chill. A month in LA had gotten him accustomed to more of a warm temperature, and even though he would never lose his Minnesota roots, he couldn't help but find it particularly chilly. Carlos went over the fridge in the middle of the section and picked up a pack of eggs, checking the date like his mother always told him to, making sure they would last two weeks. He placed them in the basket and sighed, pulling out the list, realizing it would be easier just to hold in his hand.

"Cinnamon Toast Crunch," he mumbled to himself.

He pushed his way past a few people, going around the cold section to the regular aisles. Carlos hadn't been here in a while, but her certainly hadn't forgotten the cereal aisle. He walked past the chips and cookies, and the baking aisle before he got to the cereal aisle. He walked down it and saw a few other people dabbling towards the end, thankful that Cinnamon Toast Crunch was the first cereal on the right hand side. He scooped the box into the basket with a sigh, with a smile on his face, realizing that shopping actually was pretty easy. He looked at the list again, and squinted at his mother's handwriting, sighing at how hard it was to decipher.

"Chicken…broth?" Carlos guessed, scrunching his face up and looking. He shrugged his shoulders and turned on one foot back the way he came, going back up the cereal aisle and making a left. He passed the pasta aisle, which was really the ethnic food aisle, and then made a left into the soup aisle, where the chicken broth would be on his left hand side. As soon as Carlos looked up the aisle, hoping he wouldn't have to push people out of the way of talking, his eyes locked on a maroon and gold sweatshirt down the aisle. The name was hidden by the hood, but on the back, there was a large number 12. That was Kendall's number. Carlos made a suspicious face, noticing that it was a blonde girl wearing the sweatshirt. Her golden blonde hair hung down mid back. She was a small girl, but about average height, and she stood at the end of the aisle, fingering a can of soup suspiciously. She looked both ways down the aisle, Carlos quickly turning his head not wanting to seem like he was staring. Out of the corner of his eyes, Carlos saw the blonde girl hoard the soup into the pocket of Kendall's sweatshirt.

He'd never seen a picture of Stella before.

Not knowing who she was, or why she was stealing food, she noticed that towards the end of the aisle it was more crowded than it was in Carlos' direction. Stella stepped towards Carlos' direction and looked up at him with wide eyes, as if she had just seen a ghost. Carlos began to move slowly towards the girl, who was slowly backing up her steps. Knowing she was scared that Carlos had seen her, he smiled in a friendly demeanor and licked his lips, cocking his head to the side a bit.

"Do—do I know you?" Carlos asked her, moving even closer to her. The blonde bit her lower lip, trying to hold back a smile, as the boy's face coming closer confirmed her suspicion. It was Kendall's best friend, Carlos. The one she had seen in the picture with James, Logan and him. Carlos tried to see if he remembered the girl from school, and that maybe Kendall had given his sweatshirt for someone to borrow, and they hadn't given it back in time before he left. Her icy blue eyes, pale smile, and soft skin didn't ring a bell, but it was as if looking at her face just told Carlos something. Her face screamed recognition in some way, and he didn't know where from.

"Sorta," Stella said nervously, wondering if by some miracle of magic, Kendall was here in the store with him. She figured they both be together if they were, but just seeing that one of Kendall's friends was here was more than good. Carlos gave her an odd look as Stella moved closer to him, biting her lower lip. Carlos stared at her, wanting to know what she was doing with Kendall's sweatshirt, and how she knew him. She looked weak, and frail, her blue eyes a bit dull and her teeth crooked. "You're Carlos…right?" she asked cautiously, making sure she could match the Spanish name to the boy's tan skin. Carlos looked at her a bit freaked out by how she even knew his name, when he had never met this girl in his life.

"Y-yeah…how do you know that?" he asked her, taking a step back, a bit freaked out. "I-I feel like I know you from somewhere, but I-I don't think we've met before," Carlos said to her a bit confused, biting his lower lip.

"I'm Stella."

Carlos looked at the girl with wide eyes, blinking a few times before squeezing the handle of the basket so tight, he thought his entire arm would lose color. It was then it hit Carlos. He heard so much about this girl, and how her mannerisms were, how outgoing she was, the definitive color of her blue eyes and blonde hair, that he didn't even need to see her in a photograph to recognize her. It would make sense as to why she was wearing Kendall's sweatshirt now. But to end up here, in the same aisle as Carlos, the second that he and Kendall come back from Los Angeles?

"You're—you're _the _Stella?" he asked her in awe, swallowing hard. Stella chuckled softly and shrugged her shoulders.

"I-I guess so. I'm Kendall's Stella," she spoke, pursing her lips together perfectly in an expressionless way. Carlos looked up and down her with a smile on his face, the joy streaming through him like no other. How happy would Kendall be that he went to market for groceries, and he found Stella wandering about an aisle. "I saw a picture of you, Kendall, James and Logan once. I recognized you from that," she told him.

"Are y-you sure you're the real Stella?" Carlos asked her, not wanting to believe that he had found the one thing that had thrown Kendall's emotions around like a football the past half a year or so.

"Do you need proof?" she asked the Latino with a small smile and chuckle. "I mean, I have you best friend's virginity," she said softly with a cunning smile, Carlos looking at her with big eyes, nodding at her persona. She was just the way Kendall said she was, and more. The outgoing, mannerless, spunky girl, no matter what the circumstances. She fiddled around with the can of soup in Kendall's sweatshirt, Carlos blinking in awe at the girl in front of him. It was like all this time, she wasn't real, and just a figment of Kendall's imagination. But here she was, in the flesh, just minutes away from Kendall when he had thought he had lost her forever.

"I-I just, I've heard so much about you for months, but—I-I've never seen a picture or anything," Carlos told her smiling, biting his lower lip in excitement. "I-It's just like, it's almost like we didn't believe you existed. Kendall talked about you all the time, a-and it's so weird to actually…see you," Carlos told her with laughter, but he noticed that Stella's face had dropped halfway or so through the sentence. She tensed her shoulders up a bit, and her eyes dropped along with her heart.

"T-talke**d?**" she asked him softly, emphasizing the "d". Carlos took a deep breath and looked at how sad she was all of a sudden, but he owed her the truth. Carlos hadn't heard much talk of Stella at all recently, not since Kendall's dream, and Logan's re-falling out with his father. Kendall had talked more of his date with Jo the past few days, and all the boys commended him on forgetting Stella. But now, as Carlos was in front of her, looking at in the flesh and blood, wearing Kendall's sweatshirt and having to steal food to get by, he felt bad for her.

"Uh...yeah. He's uh…been trying to forget you lately," Carlos told her truthfully, biting his bottom lip awkwardly. Stella swallowed hard and nodded, looking down at her boots. She had to accept that fact, and she knew it. She had a feeling Kendall was trying to forget her, the same way she tried to forget him. The only thing that kept hope in her heart, was that it hadn't worked for her, even when she had slept with someone else.

"Is…it working?" she asked him. Carlos saw the heartbreak in the girls eyes, but felt he couldn't lie to her. She needed to know the truth about Kendall, just like how Kendall had needed to learn the truth about her. Carlos was never one to lie anyway.

"He went out on a date the other day in Los Angeles, but I mean, I-I don't live inside his head, so I wouldn't know," Carlos whispered awkwardly, trying to shield his eyes from the pain that radiated from Stella's sullen face. She nodded and swallowed hard, trying her best not to cry. She had to understand that Kendall was in the same boat she was, and whoever he had dated was more or less just a Cooper in the scheme of things. Stella knew that Kendall was going to fall in love again, and find someone who was right for him, but she didn't want that to happen until she got to see him again, and things got sorted out between them.

If she couldn't have Kendall, that would be the only thing that would make her happy.

"But he did have a dream about you two weeks ago!" Carlos said energetically, as if he were cheering up an old friend. He took a step closer to the girl he had just met, but felt like he knew for years. He was instantly comfortable with the blonde, as if she and Kendall had been dating all throughout high school. "You guys were engaged, and Kendall's father was there. He was really fucked up about that dream for a good day or so, trying to figure out what it meant," Carlos spat out amicably with a chuckle, hoping the thought of her in Kendall's dreams would somehow cheer her up. He had only seen her face for about two minutes, but he knew that he liked it better without a frown.

She smiled a bit, knowing that the dream couldn't have been too good if Kendall's father was in it, and that it had messed him up for a day or two. She looked at Carlos with a smile, and could tell why Kendall liked him and was best friends with him. She was partly aware by Lucie's conversation with someone at the market that his father was hurt, and that was the reason he was here, but Carlos' infectious happy demeanor couldn't do anything to Stella but make her smile.

"Well, is he doing okay? How are his anger problems, and how is his stage fright?" Stella asked Carlos dearly, moving closer to him with a smile. She instantly felt as if she had known Carlos before, especially with the smile that radiated on his face when he talked about his best friend.

"He's been doing really well with all of that. He sings now. He sang us the song that he wrote for you, and me and the guys really wanna bring it to our producer and have it made up into one of our tracks, but we need to convince Kendall to sing it, and that's gonna take a little while. I know he said that he left the chords back at the house," Carlos said in a soft talk, almost as if he was whispering to himself. Stella wanted to chime in, and tell Carlos she had been living at the Knight house for the past few weeks, but felt it no appropriate right now, not until she knew where Kendall was. "And I know the song makes him think of you, so I don't know if he'd want to sing it right now," Carlos told her with a sad, confused face. Stella nodded, understanding the boy's dilemma and sighed deeply.

Carlos looked at Stella and bit his lower lip. It was only then that he realized Kendall truthfully may not want to see her. After all, this might totally fuck him up again, beyond all belief, and send him back to where he was before. He could lay his eyes on Stella once, and then totally regress back to square one, crying in his room, beating up his friends, and lying to his mother. Carlos knew Kendall didn't want to go back to that, and he knew that he didn't want to go back to that either.

But then again, Carlos thought, what if this was his one chance to make Kendall back to normal again? What would Kendall do if he found out that Carlos had seen Stella, and she had asked where Kendall was, and he didn't tell her? That would probably make Kendall more angry than he had ever been and would revert to more violence, specifically aimed at Carlos. The Latino definitely did _not_ want that, and quickly opted more towards telling Kendall that he had found Stella. He stared into the girls beautiful blue eyes and smiled warmly.

"I just can't believe...you're real," Carlos joked out astonished at the fact that he was standing in front of her.

"I guess you've uh…heard some really shitty stuff about me," Stella said softly, looking down at her fingernails awkwardly. Carlos felt like telling her about all the stuff Kendall said about her after she had cheated on him, and how upset he was. Carlos felt a little angry about that, but once he actually saw Stella, he knew she was genuinely sorry for her actions in the way she spoke about Kendall. It was almost like…his father. Carlos had almost forgotten about the fact that his father was in the hospital, and the realization of it brought his smile down a bit, his mind beginning to go off on some sort of tangent. Stella noticing the change of the boy's facial features moved a bit closer and frowned. "He uh…really hates me, doesn't he?" she asked him, the boy's eyes stuck to the linoleum floor tiles of the supermarket. Carlos shook his head and looked back up at her, a bit surprised at how he got lost in the trance of her eyes when he looked at her.

"No uh…I just…I got some family stuff going on, and I-I don't know, I just got lost for a second," Carlos joked out, trying his best to return to his happy demeanor, realizing the drop his face scared Stella a bit. He could see her hanging onto every emotion, as if she had been practicing the art of interpreting people for all her life.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't be bothering you with this nonsense," Stella said awkwardly, Carlos sensing the first bit of timidness and regret in her voice and actions. She began to turn her body away from him a bit and he reached out to touch her arm comfortingly, something that seemed instinctual to him. He didn't want her to feel awkward, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to let her know that while Kendall was trying to forget her, and passing it off like it was working, he and the boys knew that deep inside the boy would always hold onto her. He wasn't totally clear of Stella's intentions, but somehow he knew that the love she had for Kendall was pure, and that she wouldn't do anything to mess him up again.

"He doesn't hate you," Carlos told her softly, as she turned around to him with a surprised face, almost not believing his words. He smiled at her, Stella returning it back, a bit relieved that her worst fear had not been realized. "If anything, he loves you more now that he's trying not to," he told her with a small chuckle, scratching his head with the hand he had used to pull her back. Stella smiled at him with pink, pursed lips, looking absolutely beautiful.

"That sounds like him," Stella whispered out softly, biting her lower lip. Carlos nodded and stuck his hand in his pocket, with a big smile across his face.

"He was really hurt after what happened between you guys on the day his dad died," Carlos said. Stella nodded and looked down at her feet shyly, trying to find the correct words to say. Here she was, talking to her lover's best friend, trying to justify the reason why she had slept with someone else besides him. There was no easy way to do it, or correct way to do it, and Stella knew that. "I've never seen him so distraught," Carlos continued. "And I think what made it worse was that, the entire time…we didn't believe in you guys," he said to her softly. Stella looked up at him a bit impressed by Carlos' outright honesty with the girl, and his innocence about the situation. "I mean, he claimed to be madly in love with you when he came back from vacation. He lost his virginity to you after only three days. We thought he was crazy," he joked out to her with a smile. "But no matter how many times we tried to tell him it wasn't real, he persisted. He said it was meant to be, and Kendall has this whole crazy thing about fate, and his father, I don't know, I'm still fuzzy on it…" Carlos said with a chuckle, Stella smiling at the feats of her boyfriend. "But…we were wrong. When he found you again, you guys picked up right where you left off. And then you fought, and things got bad," he continued sadly.

"The only reason I did what I did was to forget Kendall. I-I tried so hard to forget him," Stella said softly, closing her eyes. "If I ever had any intention of trying to love him after I did that…I-I would've never done it," she told him, slowly taking her small, pale hand and pushing back her soft, dirty blonde hair. She swallowed hard and looked at Carlos who had a purely sympathetic face on with a small smile, like he understood completely. "I promise you, I never meant to hurt him…just myself," Stella whispered out softly.

"Can I ask you something?" Carlos asked the blonde hesitantly, not sure if this was going over the boundary line of just meeting five minutes ago. Stella nodded and Carlos sighed.

"Why'd you try to forget Kendall? Why didn't you just let him love you?" he asked her. Stella swallowed hard.

"I didn't want him to love me. I didn't think I deserved it. I'd never been…loved before. I was scared," she told him through thin lips, obviously more than affected by the fact that her fear had ruined everything from the beginning. "But now, I'm not scared to tell Kendall how I feel."

"Do you think he'll take you back?" Carlos asked her, unsure if she felt the same way he did. Carlos felt that Kendall may take Stella back, but he didn't see how it could work, with her being a runaway and all. Stella nodded no.

"I hope he doesn't. I hope he's strong enough to realize he deserves better than me, Carlos. As much as I would love to have him back, he's not mine anymore," she whispered softly between her small lips, as if the statement crushed her heart into pieces. "I just want to let him know that the only way he is going to move on is if I tell him that I love him, and I always will," she said. Carlos looked at her confused, not understanding as Stella smiled at him and sighed. "I know it doesn't make sense to you, but it'll make sense to Kendall, I promise," she told him with a confident smile, nodding her head. Carlos nodded and took a deep breath.

"Well, I guess I should tell you that Kendall is at his house right now," Carlos said with a chuckle. Stella's eyes got wide and she swallowed hard, knowing that at this moment, the boy was probably freaking out about whatever creep had been living in his house. She imagined Kendall with half of his hockey stick in his hand, against the walls trying to figure out if this person was still in the house. She wouldn't expect anything less of him.

"Well, can you take me there?" Stella asked, deciding not to tell Carlos that she had been living there for the past few weeks. Carlos nodded with a playful smile, but first nodded his chin at the soup can that was in Kendall's sweatshirt.

"But first, let me buy you that soup."

* * *

The second had Kendall stepped into his house, it was as if all the memories began to flood back to him. He smiled as he took a step into the dark, dusty house he had called home all his life. He flicked the light on next to him and sighed, looking at how untouched and unlived it really looked. Closing the door behind him, Kendall took a few small steps to the stairs, looking back at the kitchen and the living room. It was as if everything was the same as his family had left it, just dustier.

Kendall sighed and jostled the key in his pocket, walking over to the kitchen key rack where the keys to his beloved car hung with their hockey stick keychain on the side. He smiled once he saw the familiar Wild hockey stick hanging from his driver's key and instantly took it in his hands. He sighed again, looking around the lonely and deserted kitchen, seeing as no one had touched it in three months.

Deciding he'd had enough of the downstairs, Kendall began to climb the stairs to the second level, making sure that the few posters that still hung in Katie's room were intact. The little girl had insisted on leaving them behind was she moved to LA, hoping to get bigger and better ones of specifically her teen dream crush, Dak Zevon. Kendall walked the few steps to Katie's room when he reached the top of the stairs, peeking in the door slightly and smiling at the posters that still hung on the walls. Katie's room looked indefinitely untouched, seeing as the girl was such an absolute neat freak that everything had to be exactly in the order she had left in. Kendall's eyes scanned the row of stuffed animals on the chest to the side of the bed with a smile, noticing how there was not even a small ear of dog or paw of cat out of place. He slowly retreated from the doorway of the room, closing the oak door to the girls' portal. He then slowly smiled and began to walk towards his room, closing his eyes as if he was just a normal boy living in Minnesota again.

Kendall opened his eyes, and found it a bit odd that his door was slightly ajar, as if someone had closed it and it hadn't closed all the way. Figuring it had just been the wind, or it had just creaked open by itself, Kendall walked into the blue room, only to be totally surprised by what he saw.

His entire bed was unmade, the blue of his comforter rumpled up in the white of his sheets. The pillow was pushed up against the headboard, as if someone had been sitting there just minutes ago. Kendall saw that his closet door was open as well, and that the one plaid shirt he had left behind and didn't have room to pack, laid on the bed, obviously wrinkled and worn since had had been gone. He slowly took a step forward, his heart beating out of chest as he got a bit closer.

He had no idea who had broken into his house, but he was beyond worried. Being able to think quickly, he figured it wasn't anyone too dangerous, seeing as that everything downstairs had remained intact. All the TV's and Kim's crystal glass vase still remained in the exact places they had been when the Knight's had picked up and left a month ago.

It seemed as if the only thing touched was Kendall's room.

"H-Hello?" he asked out into the empty room, his voice a bit shaky. He moved closer to his bed, his hands grazing the fabric of his plaid shirt, swallowing hard. If someone was in the house, they had to have been downstairs, seeing as there really was no place to hide up here, especially not in Kendall's room. All the boy had was a closet, and a desk that you could maybe curl up behind for a few minutes, as the boys did when they used to play hide and seek.

Kendall slowly moved aside the shirt looking around to see if there were any more clues about who could've been in his room.

And there, he saw it.

It was tattered and torn, but it seemed to smell fresh, and like flowers. The stitching on the collar had been pulled out, and there a large hole on one end of the sleeve. It almost wouldn't be recognizable if Kendall hadn't savored the moment in which he saw it last.

It was his blue cardigan.

The blue cardigan he had give to Stella.

She was here.

Kendall reached out and touched the soft fabric, feeling it send some sort of spark through his body. The fact that Stella was here made him a little uneasy. He hadn't heard anyone in the house when he had come in, and now his eyes were even more cautious than before. All he had to do was see the flip of golden blonde hair, and the glimpse of those icy blue eyes, and he would be captivated again.

Kendall sat down on his bed in shock, still fingering the fabric with a smile, loving how Stella had kept it all this time, even through Cooper.

He didn't know exactly how he felt about all of this.

While he loved Stella dearly, and wanted nothing more than to love her, and kiss her, and make her his, he knew it wasn't right. Stella was _not_ right for him, and no one could deny it. Logan, James and Carlos had all said, and even his mother had seemed to express it through her actions and her talks. And the most important person who felt that they didn't belong together…was Kendall himself.

While he knew he was in love with her, he knew things would never work out between them. Stella was a runaway, and lived a completely different life from Kendall, a completely different life from most people. She had definite issues that she needed help with. She had been abuse in the numerous foster homes, and orphanages she had been in, until she finally got the strength to runaway. She had been living on the streets, stealing food, trying her best to somehow make ends meet. She was a survivor, as was Kendall, just in two totally different ways.

Also, she _had_ cheated on him. Kendall was aware of the circumstances, and how Stella was trying to forget him, but she had cheated on him. True, they hadn't an established relationship, but she had been with someone else by choice. She had tried so hard to forget him, even after she had opened up to Kendall and told him that she loved him. She had said it when they had sex in the cabin, and before he left. She had said it when Kendall gave her the cardigan, telling her that he would be back to see her again soon…and yet, she had tried to block him out. Kendall knew it was because she had issues. Stella had never been loved by anyone before, and Kendall had somehow swept her off her feet in the matter of fifteen minutes, causing her to become totally intoxicated by her new ability to love.

He sighed and shifted on the bed, feeling the crinkle of paper against his hand. He slowly looked to his left, and saw paper underneath his hand. He lifted his hand and took the paper to his face, looking at what Stella had been reading. Kendall's heart dropped when he saw the letter he had spent to painstakingly long on. His eyes scanned the crumpled paper he had left perfectly flat when going to LA, and saw that there were small drops of tears, smudging a bit of the pen on the last few lines.

"'Passion is all but soft, it's not tender, it is violence to which you get hooked by pleasure.' It's true in every sense of the word, love. I'm Hooked, Stella," Kendall read slowly, the words ghosting out between his lips. He chewed on his lower lip, sighing and sagging his shoulders. He ran his hands through his hair stressed out, and placed the letter aside. He was thankful that he had left this home, along with everything else that reminded of Stella, but now, knowing she had read it and was here Kendall couldn't help but feel helpless.

Kendall looked to the side of him, and also noticed that the song he had written her on Christmas was laid out, chords and all. He smiled and grabbed the paper a bit, and his scanned the words he written to Stella the night they had made love. Kendall remembered how wired he was, and how he couldn't stand to close his eyes after the experience he had just had. It was like…he owed it to the world to stay up, after the good things it had done to him.

Kendall sighed and stood up from the bed, feeling revitalized and a bit at peace with himself after seeing that Stella had read his letter, and come back for him. Kendall frowned a bit, wondering where she was if she wasn't in the house. He knew she hadn't left, seeing as the cardigan was on the bed.

Stella was alright, and Kendall could breathe a bit again. It was a bit of closure, what he needed, but not nearly enough.

Kendall knew that he needed to see, and talk to Stella one last time before anything was really resolved.

* * *

"It's not too long of a walk, Carlos," Stella told her new friend with a small smile.

Carlos had grumbled and mumbled that the walk from Sherwood's to Kendall's was long and grueling, but with the nice weather afoot, Stella didn't mind it at all.

Perhaps it didn't seem long to her, based on _her_ usual walks in Thief River Falls, and because she had made this walk nearly every day the past few weeks.

Especially since she was usually alone.

"Eh, it's not too bad, just annoying," Carlos told the girl with a sigh, swinging the two bags of groceries in his hands. Stella held one last one, which contained the soup and pack of bread Carlos had brought her. Stella had declined many times at first, but Carlos had insisted on buying the two things for her, even though she had claimed she wasn't hungry. However, the girl really hadn't had anything too great to eat in days, seeing as she felt guilty for stealing more than one thing from the market at a time. The Knight's also had some food in the pantry in the kitchen, and she had been taking a few crackers from that at a time. She didn't want to steal, but it was the only way she could survive.

Carlos had seen the way Stella's eyes looked hungry, and how thin she was from not eating. She obviously wasn't getting the right nutrition, and looked like the people who sat outside on the streets and begged for food, with bags under her eyes, her soft skin beginning to sink in, and her wrists beginning to emaciate.

Carlos still saw the sparkle in her eye that made her beautiful, what Kendall had seen from first laying eyes on the girl.

"How…bad was he after?" Stella asked Carlos a bit randomly, as they got closer and closer to the Knight house.

"Well…what do you mean?" Carlos asked her back, knowing what she meant, but trying to delay it as much as possible to having to answer the question. He didn't want to tell her how heartbroken Kendall was, and how absolutely horrible things had gotten after she had cheated on him.

"After he came back the second time…how bad was he?" Stella asked the boy, looking down, avoiding the eyes that would give her the answer quickly and painlessly.

Carlos slowly began to relive the events he had almost forgotten at what had happened at Harrison's party the night of Kendall's return from Thief River Falls. Their drunken counterpart in the upstairs room with a random redhead, getting out all his frustration in one way or another. The two took a few more steps and Carlos itched at his neck awkwardly, the plastic bag still in his hand, the boy not having another move.

"I uh…I…I feel like you should talk that out with Kendall, Stella. He was bad enough for it to be…bad," Carlos told her, having a lack of words to tell the girl. Carlos hadn't been the one up in the room at Harrison's, having to witness all of this, seeing as how he had been a bit tipsy all night and had heard it from James the next morning.

"Oh, okay," the blonde said quietly, keeping her gaze straight ahead, the knots in her stomach beyond anything she could've imagined.

And then…the Knight house came into view.

Stella took a deep gaping breath and Carlos looked over at her with a half smile, knowing she was nervous.

"I hope he doesn't slam the door in my face," Stella whispered out with a chuckle, "especially since it took so long to get here," she said. Carlos laughed.

"Well, I'm sure he won't do that. He's…he's gonna be surprised though, and I don't think Kendall's a big fan of surprises," the Latino told her, giving her a fair warning for any of Kendall's immediate behaviors at seeing her. Carlos just hoped and prayed to the God's he wouldn't have to witness Kendall get angry, and that Stella wouldn't set him off. His anger had been so good since he'd tried to forget about her.

"I have a feeling he won't be surprised," Stella told him with a smile, turning her head to his nodding, "trust me." Carlos seemed a bit confused, but didn't want it explained, knowing he probably wouldn't get it anyway.

Carlos and Stella nervously walked up to the Knight's front door, Stella twisting the bag of soup and bread in her hand, as Carlos rang the doorbell. She closed her eyes tightly and grabbed Carlos' hand out of instinct, the boy giving her a tight squeeze of comfort before dropping it, not wanting to give Kendall any ideas and give him even more of a shock than he was already in for.

Kendall's thunderous footsteps were heard coming down the stairs, as Stella stood up a bit taller and more confident than Carlos had seen her since meeting. The Knight's door began to slowly open, the sound of creaking wood piercing the blonde's ears as Stella and Carlos stood face to face with Kendall Knight.

Kendall and Stella just stood, their eyes locked on each other as Carlos looked back and forth between their glances, just seeing the pure lust, want, desire, anger, and hatred that radiated between them. He felt that the two had more emotions within their stares than the entire world had in their bodies.

"Look who I found at the market," Carlos said awkwardly, as neither blonde moved.

"Hi, Kendall," Stella said softly, trying to create some sort of peace between them, with a small smile on her lips. Kendall swallowed hard and leaned against the door with his hands, as every single emotion took over his body and he tried his best to speak, licking his dry lips and staring at Stella in awe.

"God, I've missed you."


	30. Storm

**A/N: Okay guys, here is the next chapter! I have gotten a few new reviewers who have said hello and I am loving it! Please stop by and say hello or review! It just takes a second or two? :D**

**And of course, here is a snippet from the wonderful, amazing, awesome ****Past the Sorrow**** by waterwicca.**

After being ushered in the right direction, Carlos made his way into the kindergarten classroom. He was happily greeted by his young teacher, Miss Dawson, and told to settle in and pick a cubby for his belongings. Skipping over to the storage area, Carlos shoved his bag into a random cubby carelessly, quickly growing bored with trying to make it fit and leaving it hanging halfway out of the box. The little brunette pivoted swiftly on his heels and surveyed the large room around him.

Miss Dawson remained by the door, greeting the new students as they trickled in from saying goodbye to their parents. A few girls were admiring each other's outfits, and another two boys were near him in the storage area already chatting softly. Carlos' found his full attention drifting to a small raven-haired boy sitting by himself at the opposite end of the room. The boy was wearing a dark blue sweater with a lighter blue collared shirt beneath it, and his hair was combed carefully into place, his whole appearance coming off as clean and well planned. He was sitting on a rainbow colored cushion, his back resting against a small bookshelf with his short legs folded beneath him and a thin book positioned delicately in his lap.

Carlos approached him slowly, curiously studying the other boy's movements. The quiet, pale boy closed the book he had and placed it carefully on the shelf behind him before scanning the other titles and picking out a new one and settling back into a comfortable position. The Latino tilted his head in confusion as he watched the boy open the new book from the back. It had large pictures on the pages with single sentences written boldly at the bottom. The boy read the last page for a few moments and then flipped it over to start from the beginning.

"Why do you do that?"

The quiet boy jumped when Carlos spoke, startled at the sudden appearance and voice of someone new. His chocolate eyes scanned him cautiously, taking in the boy's sloppy appearance. Carlos wore a long-sleeved orange shirt with a cartoon character on the front that he didn't recognize and bright green sneakers. One of his sleeves were pushed up to his elbow and the other was left pulled down, giving him an off balance look, but the asymmetry matched the boy's constantly shifting posture as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet and wouldn't stand still.

"W-What?"

"I don't really read a lot yet, but I think you're supposed to start from the other end," Carlos offered innocently, talking slowly, almost as if he was prepared to be corrected.

"You are!" the dark-haired boy assured him quickly, seeing the growing embarrassment on the Latino's face. "I just read the last page first so I know what happens," he shrugged and spoke softly, closing the book and clutching it tightly between his thin fingers.

"Doesn't that ruin the ending?" Carlos asked again, still absolutely confused at the action. The boy nodded simply.

"I don't like surprises."

"Oh…" Carlos looked at the small boy as if he grew another head before shrugging off his bewilderment and easily smiling as he collapsed heavily to the ground in front of the boy and held out his hand. "I'm Carlos Garcia."

He waited patiently as the other boy hesitated for a moment, studying Carlos' hand with shifting eyes before finally letting himself smile crookedly. He took the outstretched hand into his own and let Carlos control the firm handshake. His weak arm wobbled wildly in the happy boy's eager grasp.

"Logan Mitchell."

"Alright, everyone! We'll be getting started very soon. You'll need to get into groups of four…" Miss Dawson spoke at the center of the room and held up the desired number of fingers for all of the students to see, "… and we'll get to know each other."

"Cool!" Carlos was immediately excited for a new task. He turned away from the teacher and focused on his new friend. "How much more do we need, Logan?" he asked eagerly, leaning in to watch the pale boy for an answer.

"Two," Logan held up his fingers hesitantly, still a little taken aback by the Latino's energy that seemed to roll off of him in waves. He was used to being quiet and by himself, but this boy loved interaction.

"Mhm…" Carlos leaned onto his hands and surveyed the room behind him with his head titled all the way back so he viewed everything upside down. After giving his eyes a moment to adjust, he saw what he had been looking for. "How about that kid?" he wondered aloud, sitting up quickly and pivoting on his bottom so that he could point Logan in the right direction.

A delicate boy with shiny brown hair was hanging up his jacket on the opposite side of the room. He was taking his time to smooth out the wrinkles with slightly tan hands after he placed it on the hook. Carlos eyes lit up as he looked to the dark-haired boy for support.

"He's alone right now. Let's go be his friend!" he jumped up to his feet so fast that Logan got a little dizzy while his eyes tried to register the movement.

"You make it sound so easy," Logan seemed skeptical of his new companion's sanity, but smiled anyway.

**Yup, well, there it is! I know you are going to want to review and read if you haven't already! This is an amazing story! My favorite on here!**

**Oh, and I think you'll enjoy the little surprise I put in here ;D**

* * *

_Chapter Thirty: Storms_

"R-really?"

"Yeah."

Stella kept her eyes locked on Kendall, as if she was seeing him for the first time again. Her side view of Carlos was completely gone and irrelevant with Kendall Knight standing in front of her. She looked at how his fingers nervously tapped against the door, how his left leg shook a bit, and his voice seemed to be uneven and edgy, almost like how it was the first time he sang to her on Christmas morning. Kendall swallowed hard, not even being able to fathom that Stella was in front of him, nevertheless acting as if nothing had happened between them. He had dreamt of this for so many nights, he had wished for this on so many stars, and now she was finally here.

And Kendall had just begun to forget about her.

Immediately, Kendall brought his hands to his lips, feeling the fire from Jo's kiss days ago on them, as if she had just laid her lips on his minutes ago. He brought his hand down from his face, and sighed, drinking every aspect of her. She looked the same as Kendall had last saw her, just a little more tired, and a little more hungry. Her blonde hair was still gorgeous, and more golden than ever, Kendall realizing it was probably because she had been using his shower for however long she had been here. Her blue eyes sparkled in the Minnesota sun, Kendall able to see faint rainbows in them. He smile even more when he realized she was wearing his sweatshirt, looking like it had belonged on her in the first place.

It was then Kendall remembered how she had greeted him.

Just using his first name.

He closed his eyes for a second, but a myriad of memories seeped into his brain from those two words. He had only really heard her say his first name solitarily when they made love. It was if a slideshow of their trysts began to play in Kendall's head, warm skin against warm skin, Stella's head back in ecstasy, Kendall's head hung as he powerfully took her with everything he had. It brought back her taste, her scent, her sounds and her life.

There was silence as a faint wind blew between the two. Carlos looked back from Kendall to Stella, his eyes going over the intense stare that was between them.

He had heard of Stella, and he knew Kendall. He now knew Stella. Carlos had thought he had figured it all out, and all of their feelings out in the market, and on the walk over here, but he couldn't have been more wrong. The way that Stella and Kendall reacted towards each other, in stare, voice, and sound was absolutely the most amazing thing Carlos had witnessed. He had never seen Kendall so absolutely confused and withdrawn as he did when the boy's eyes laid on Stella. It was like watching someone discover the cure for cancer, or watching someone witness their child's first steps. It was an awakening, an eye-opening experience in which nothing could be explained about feelings except pure joy and rapture. The boy felt a bit awkward being part of such an intimate moment, not being able to handle the scene well at all. He hadn't seen two people look at each other like this in such a long time, with their eyes shining and everything else about them starting to crumble underneath their strong feelings. As the seconds went, Carlos began to feel more and more confused about what was going on between Kendall and Stella, but understood it more on a level that was far too advanced from his usual thinking. After all the time denying Kendall and Stella's love from the moment the boy had told them about the girl that had stolen his heart, and after all the time spent trying to convince Kendall he wasn't in love with her, Carlos knew better.

Kendall loved Stella, and Stella loved Kendall.

"Uh…I guess I'll just…be off," Carlos said softly, feeling the tension on the porch and wanting to give the lover's privacy. Kendall and Stella snapped out of their gazes for the first time since laying eyes on one another, looking at Carlos with a worried, confused face.

"No, you can stay man, I just—I, we have to get back to the hospital and," Kendall muttered out nervously, his eyes going back to Stella's, getting lost in the hypnotizing blue trance.

"It's fine dude, I have to drop these off at home, and the hospital isn't far from my house, I'll take the bus," Carlos told him with a smile. Kendall knew Carlos hated the bus, but that he was offering so Kendall could have a moment alone with Stella. Kendall anxiously dug into the pocket of his jeans, and took out a wrinkled five dollar bill left over from the chocolate bar and water bottle he had bought at the hospital earlier this morning. He handed it out to Carlos with a desperate look on his face, biting his lower lip ashamed. He knew he shouldn't put Stella first, but the way he looked in Carlos' eyes, it was almost as if Kendall understood Carlos was alright with this. The Latino looked like he had been reborn in a way, his fresh faced smile coming out as he looked between Kendall and Stella, finally recognizing the strong feelings between them.

"Take this. I'll be there as soon as I can, alright? I promise. I'll make sure to be there to give you and your mom a ride, okay?" Kendall told him, taking a step down from the door, his green orbs connecting with Stella's every few seconds. Carlos nodded and Kendall sighed upset, knowing he was doing the wrong thing, but not having a choice in this moment. "Text me when you get there, alright? Please?" Kendall begged of him, taking another step closer to him, moving past Stella, and resting a hand on his shoulder. Carlos nodded and smiled, putting Kendall's ragged face at ease, his eyes going up to Stella and then back to Kendall.

"Don't worry, dude. I get it," Carlos whispered. "I'm going to be just fine," he told him. Kendall smiled at him and hit his shoulder playfully biting his lower lip as Carlos peered over Kendall's shoulder to Stella, who stood watching the boys with a smile. She had never seen Kendall interact with his friends before, and it was a pleasing sight to watch. It made her happy to see him so caring and compassionate like she had known him the first week they had met.

"Good-bye, Stella. It was nice meeting you," Carlos told her giving her a slight wave.

"You too, Carlos. Your father is in my thoughts," she added nicely, Carlos nodding respectively and looking back at Kendall with a deep breath.

"I'll see you soon, alright? Take your time here," Carlos warned him with a smug grin, masking all of the pain on his face as he remembered where he was going. Kendall nodded and sighed, still not feeling at peace with his decision, but accepting it as Carlos had with a smile.

"Thanks, Carlitos," Kendall whispered with a smile. Carlos looked from Kendall to Stella and chuckled with a smile.

"You crazy kids don't do anything stupid, alright?" he told them, as he began to walk backwards down the path of the Knight house with a comical grin, Stella smiling and laughing modestly as Kendall awkwardly laughed, and turned to the blonde girl just a few feet from him. Carlos slowly began to walk away from the house, Kendall's eyes locked on him as he disappeared thanks to the heavy shrubbery two houses down, blocking the sidewalk corner. Kendall turned back to Stella again, hands stuck in his pockets, as she eagerly looked into his eyes, hoping that something good would come out of this.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Kendall said outright, looking deep into her irises, his hands still in his pockets, not wanting to touch her or anything like that. He didn't want to get to comfortable, and he didn't want to hurt her. The last time he had touched her, it had been when he hit her. Kendall wanted to forget about that, but his eyes instantly went to the skin under the eye where he had hit her. Kendall didn't know if he had left a bruise or a mark, seeing as more than enough time had passed for it to fade into her skin.

"I thought that too," Stella told him awkwardly, looking up at him, twisting the shopping bag in her hands with heavy breaths. Stella wasn't afraid of Kendall in the slightest. She knew that he had never meant to hurt her and that it was simply his anger. True, Stella had heard from Carlos that he had begun to control it, but she didn't know if that was with just his friends. How did Stella know Kendall wasn't going to lose control and hit her again? How did she know that he wasn't playing some sort of sick mind game and was still angry about Cooper? How did she know that he wasn't in love with this girl who he had gone on a date with?

The only thing Stella could hold onto was the fact that when she had tried to forget Kendall, absolutely nothing worked.

There was hope.

Something she had never had before.

"I guess…you've been…living here?" Kendall asked her, scratching the back of his neck and sighing, Stella instantly tensing a bit and wondering if Kendall was angry about that. She hadn't planned on staying long at all, hoping to find clues to where Kendall was in California, but she had heard nothing.

"I'm—sorry. I wasn't planning on it, I came to look for you," she told him with a sweet whisper of a voice and a sympathetic smile. Kendall nodded with a small smile on his face.

"It's—alright. It's not a problem," he said to her with a smile. "As long as you had somewhere safe to sleep, I don't care where it is," he reiterated, causing Stella to smile. There was that awkward silence again as Stella sighed and looked up at Kendall, not knowing where to go from here. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him, and throw herself into his arms, but it wasn't the right time. They needed to talk about all of this, and fast. Kendall had Carlos waiting, and the more time Stella took to sort things out was the more time that she had to take from Kendall and herself living their lives.

"Your letter, Kendall…" Stella told him, biting her lower lip and closing her eyes.

She began to breathe heavily, and remember the letter he had written out, his heart and soul poured into it. The fact that she hadn't read it when Kendall wanted her to put a knife through her heart, and even more so the fact that as Kendall was opening it, and finding out that she hadn't gotten it after all those weeks, she was probably enamored with Cooper, laying there like his own person rape victim. Tears stung her eyes and she swallowed hard, her throat dry as everything came back to her in a moving picture montage. She hoped that Kendall wasn't angry about her reading the letter and snooping in his drawers, or reading the song that he had written for her over and over again. She could nearly recite the letter, and all the good things about it.

"It was so beautiful," she told him, opening her eyes, and a tear sneaking down her cheek. Stella quickly wiped it away, not wanting to play the pity role for him, forcing him to comfort her. There was silence as the wind blew through the trees, the sun beaming down on the two who stood awkwardly on the Knight's porch.

"I'm glad you got to read it," Kendall told her with a stoic face, looking at her with a sigh. Stella knew that he was still hurt by her actions, and even more so because of the circumstances of the letter. "It meant a lot to me that you get it, no matter what," he told her with a small smile on his face.

"So I guess we should…talk?" she asked him awkwardly, biting her lower lip and sighing. Kendall nodded and looked down at his feet, then back up at her.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," he said. Stella offered Kendall the bag of bread and soup as he took with an expressive face on, Stella sighing with a small smile.

"Carlos bought it for me. But, I won't be needing it. I'll be leaving after we speak. I have to head out home," Stella told him, the word home sounding odder to her than ever before. Kendall looked up at her in surprise at the last word of her sentence.

"Home?" he asked her. Stella nodded and bit her lower lip, shrugging her shoulders.

"Back to Thief River Falls. It seems good things happen to me there," she told him with a smile, her whole face lighting up. Kendall sighed and nodded, giving her a smile as he looked in the bag once more, and then twisted it around his hand, Stella playing with her fingers nervously. He took a deep breath, and dug in his pocket for his keys, taking them out quite victorious, a smile and idea spreading across her face.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to bring you somewhere," Kendall told her with a smile. Stella looked at him a bit confused, but those pleading green eyes looked at her with every good intention in mind. There was no way she could say no, no way that she even _wanted_ to say no.

"Okay."

* * *

James and Logan sat on the couch of 2J with Katie beside them, and awkward silence between all of them. They had all been desperately worried about Carlos and Kendall since they had dropped them off at the airport. It was if Logan and James just stayed inside the apartment all the time, waiting for both of them to come back through the door, completing the last two sides of their square.

Katie was reading one of those trashy pop magazines that she had stolen from James' room, Logan sat on the couch picking at his nails awkwardly, as he read the rest of his A encyclopedia, and James just sat there emotionless, texting someone on his phone. It wasn't like James and Logan were angry with each other, or anything like that, it was just weird not having Kendall and Carlos here, especially when they knew that their best friend was in need. They hadn't really heard from the boys, except when they had landed in Minnesota, but that was strictly it. Mrs. Knight had talked to Kendall a few times, but other than that, they had spent most of their time at the hospital from what Kim had told them with a mother's smile, assuring them that everything with Carlos' father was going to be just fine.

James sighed and opened the text message he had received from Lianna.

_**From**__: Lianna_

_You alright?_

James swallowed hard and smiled a bit, noticing that Lianna had seen his lackluster of emotion and overall happiness through his text messages. The two had been talking more and more the past few days, but since Carlos and Kendall had left, James was a bed of nerves. He hadn't talked to her much at all since the boys left, and hadn't seen her face since the day before. James knew he was pulling away for a stupid reason, and that Lianna was desperately trying to get him to loosen up a bit.

Their relationship was chaotic as James could handle, if you could even call it a relationship. What they were doing was the exact thing that James had made fun of for Carlos even wanting, as he looked back at home at all the girls he couldn't possibly have. It was that innocent, learning, getting to know the girl kind of relationship that James had no idea what to do or how to act in. It made him scared, and he didn't know how to react. Lianna seemed to have been worried about his distance, especially under the circumstances she was aware of. James had shot her a text the moment he had found out about Carlos' father in the apartment with him, watching the Latino run into his room and pack his life away.

It was a quick, two second thing to send, "Carlos' dad is hurt, can't talk right now," but the fact that Lianna cared enough to send back "He and his family are in my prayers. Keep me updated, and if you need me I'm here 3" with a little heart at the end of text, made James' hear fly up like he never had before.

_**To**__: Lianna_

_I don't know…_

James felt he couldn't be anything less than honest with Lianna, and sent her exactly how he felt at the moment. He sighed and let his phone fall onto the couch next to him, as Logan closed his book, and reached for his phone which was vibrating on the table.

Logan picked up his phone and slid it open, looking at the incoming text from Camille, who's name was adorned with a small heart in his contacts. Ever since Logan and Camille's date the night before where they became official, Logan hadn't talked much to her either. They had plans to meet for a brunch downstairs in the Palm Woods Café which they had made yesterday, but after finding out about Carlos' father, Logan was hesitant to go. Only after some encouraging words from James, and of course the absolute push of it from Katie, Logan had retreated downstairs to brunch with Camille.

When Logan didn't kiss back when greeting her, she thought instantly that maybe he had changed her mind about last night, not knowing about Carlos' dad until afterwards. Logan nearly cried in his new girlfriend's presence, and that nearly made Camille cry, holding Logan's hand across the table as he worried about Carlos, and worried about Kendall.

_**From**__: Camille_

_If you need anything Logie please just tell me. Hope everyone is doing alright_

Logan smiled a bit at the text, thinking about texting back but sighing, knowing that he couldn't even handle talking to Camille right now. It would just make him more upset, especially since she was so caring and wanted to talk about it to make Logan feel better. Right now, the boy just needed to be alone, but in the presence of other company, such as Katie and James.

He looked at the recent calls on his phone, one from Camille, two from his mother, and then the call from his father that just seemed to linger along with the rest of them.

Logan wanted to talk to his father, especially after finding out about Mr. Garcia. He wanted to call his dad and tell him he loved him, and that things were just so screwed up, that he didn't want to deal with it. He wanted everything to be alright, to be a kid again and not know that everyone had flaws. It was a wish Logan hadn't thought of in years, and it scared him.

"It's so quiet without stupid and stupider here," Katie said softly, bringing the magazine down to her thighs and sighing, looking around the apartment. James and Logan both chuckled.

"Well who's stupid and who's stupider?" James asked the girl, who smiled at the conversation. Katie sighed and pondered the thought with a smile.

"Well, Carlos is definitely stupid when it comes to math and stuff like that, but my brother is just an idiot. I don't know…I guess it's tied," she said with a smile, looking back at Logan. Logan looked at the fresh faced younger sister of his best friend and smiled. Katie really was more sarcastic and wise beyond her years, and he knew that while she made fun of Kendall all the time, that she truly loved him more than she could imagine. After Kris had died, Katie had depended on Kendall so much, after he responded to his family when his anger had ceased. Logan remembered the time about six months after Mr. Knight died, when it was her first day of fifth grade. Kim had only been able to stay with her daughter for a few minutes when she got settled into her classroom, and while all the other mothers and fathers stayed into the first thirty minutes of class. Sitting alone, trying to muster up the courage to be independent, Katie fought back tears as she organized her desk. It was the first, first day of school that her father wasn't at, and now her mother had to work. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, seeing Kendall, who had a free period from the high school just a few blocks away smiling at her, his cheeks red from the cold and his bangs plastered to his face.

"Fifth grade is a big deal, Kates. You didn't think I was gonna not be here for it, did you Baby Sister?"

Katie had never cried into her brother so hard.

Logan was brought back to reality with Kim's heels on the hardwood floor of the apartment, more frantic than he expected. Her face was a bit torn and she held the cordless in her hand putting it down on the table with a sunken face, her eyes teary.

"Katie, could you go start packing, baby?" Kim said, trying her best to keep the voice in her throat strong. Both James, Katie and Logan looked at Kim like she was crazy, obviously very confused.

"Where are we going?" she asked confused. Kim tried to give her a smile and nod, knowing that her daughter was going to ask questions.

"Home. Just for a day or two," she told the small girl. Katie looked at her confused, and then back at James and Logan whose faces were starting to get a bit nervous. She didn't know the real truth about Carlos' father, just that he had broken a leg and gotten hurt on the force. She didn't know that Mr. Garcia was in critical condition, and now as Kim had just learned, on the edge of death.

"But why?" she asked.

"Just…go pack, sweetie. We'll talk on the plane tomorrow, alright?" Kim told her, wiping her eyes a bit with her fingers, trying to hide her tears from her youngest. She knew she was going to have to face James and Logan in seconds, and had to prepare for it. Katie sighed a bit annoyed, and picked up her magazine, grumbling as she walked back to her room. Kim's eyes followed her as James and Logan stood up, knowing that this wasn't good.

"W-what's wrong Mrs. Knight?" Logan asked her.

"It's Carlos' dad, boys. Mrs. Garcia just called…they don't think he's going to make it," Kim told them, her voice breaking with sadness and upset. James and Logan instantly looked at the woman with wide eyes, both of their stomachs dropping and mouths open in shock.

"B-but you said he was alright?" James exclaimed, getting a bit angry with what Kim was telling him. The woman wiped her eyes and sighed, her hands shaking a bit.

"I don't know what to tell you, James. Listen, I already talked to Griffin and Gustavo, and we are all flying out to Minnesota to be with Carlos. He needs us right now," Kim told them, sniffling and sighing as she chewed her lower lip.

"Fuck," Logan said outright, his voice beginning to break. James ran his hands through his hair as if he didn't know what to do with himself, a sadistic smile on his face, as if he were trying to believe this wasn't happening.

"You boys should go pack," Kim said, picking up the phone with a shaky throat. "I have to make sure that the ticket transactions went through on Griffin's credit card," she said swallowing hard, walking away from them, leaving the two boys with heavy hearts, and a pool of hideous silence between them.

James and Logan did nothing, not move an inch, not breathe a breath as their terror filled eyes caught each other in a deathly intimate and terrified stare.

Things were changing.

There was a storm brewing.

* * *

Kendall and Stella drove through the shady, narrow paths of the cemetery in his car, not saying much to each other. The drive from Kendall's house to here was basically silent, with Stella leaning against the car window, looking at the passing town of Sherwood, thankful she wasn't on foot for once.

The entire drive, every five seconds Stella would gear her head back to look at Kendall's concentrated and worried green eyes, stuck on the road ahead of him. She could see that every time he was stopped at a red light, his hands would clench the wheel and look like he was fixing something on it, or he'd look at his cell phone and try to busy himself until the light turned green again. Stella knew it was because of her, and it hurt her to see it. She didn't want Kendall to act awkward around her. She didn't want anything from him but to have one nice talk with him, and kiss his lips one last time before she'd have to leave him forever.

Stella hadn't even bothered to ask Kendall where they were going, trusting him willingly with her life. She knew he had to be back at the hospital for Carlos soon, and that wherever he was taking her wouldn't be too far away. As they passed the market, and the other houses and shops of Duluth, she wondered what was going through Kendall's mind. Was he trying his best to keep from hitting her again? Was everything coming back to him in one big wave to his mind? Did he still feel the same about her?

The initial "God I missed you" at the door could've been due to shock, surprise, or any other emotion. Stella didn't know if it was true, or even what it meant. In the movies, people who loved each other who hadn't seen each other in a long time usually ran into each other's arms in awe, absolutely enthralled in the other's lips, and hands, and body. But not Stella and Kendall. But then again, their relationship was never normal.

"A cemetery?" Stella finally asked him, turning the boy confused. Kendall took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes guiding past the road up to the headstones, turning the car effortlessly down one of the paths. Stella could see that the boy had made this journey many times, and he knew the path like he knew how to ride a bike. It was only after seeing Kendall take a shaky deep breath, and pull the car over to the side that she knew what was happening.

Kendall's father was buried here. Stella looked out the window and swallowed hard, a little intimidated by the fact that he had brought her here. This was obviously very personal for Kendall and truthfully, Stella didn't know if she could handle all of this right now. She looked up at the sky and saw the grey clouds of a Minnesota rainstorm begin to roll in, setting an all over ominous setting over the patterns of headstones decorating the green grass. Kendall turned the car off and sat back in his seat, biting his lower lip, and turning to the blonde girl, who looked back at him, still snuggling into his sweatshirt.

"I—I want you to meet my father, Stella," Kendall told her with a faint smile, as if the drive to the cemetery hadn't been awkward at all. She smiled patiently and nodded, Kendall still feeling the need to explain himself. "You've heard so much about him, so, I figured…I should take you here. It seems all good conversations happen in front of him," Kendall said with a smile, remembering the conversation he had with James, Carlos and Logan in front of the headstone when he had returned back from the Tregger's the first time, after their initial fight.

"Let's go," Stella said with a smile and adventurous grin, getting out of the car without any words, and shutting the door tightly. Kendall sat in the car and watched her begin to walk forward, her blonde hair bouncing behind her as she looked left and right for his father's headstone. Kendall smiled and chuckled, taking his key from the ignition, getting out of the car and shutting the door. He waltzed his way up to Stella, where she stood, finally finding the headstone that was Kendall's fathers. She smiled, kneeling down at the small, tattered picture of their family that had been taken a few years back. Kendall was a bit shorter with more roundness in his face, and Katie was still small enough to fit comfortably in the teenager's arms. Stella looked at how Kris' arm was tight around Kendall's shoulder. It was the first time ever seeing the man in a picture, and already, Stella felt like she had recognized him and knew him personally. He really did look just like Kendall, and it was something that made her heart swell with joy.

She turned to Kendall who stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed, smiling at her the best he could, while biting his lip. He felt awkward for sure, and didn't know how this was all going to down. He was almost glad he had a time limit with Stella, seeing as he might just stay here forever and talk to her about everything that was going on.

"Y-you can sit," he mumbled out, extending his hand to the spot in front of his father's grave. Stella sat down gingerly, pushing her hair to one side of her head and combing her fingers through at as Kendall accompanied her. He sighed and softly touched the headstone with a smile, as if he were saying hello to his father in the kitchen after school.

Kendall sighed and looked at her with a smile, swallowing hard. He didn't know what to say, but he knew how he felt. He loved Stella. He loved her now, he would love her always, and he didn't know how he was going to tell her that they weren't going to be together. It killed him, but he knew he had to let her go. They weren't right for each other, and love is something that cannot be forced. Kendall did feel that it was meant to be, and as much as he tried to let go of that he couldn't.

"Dad, this is the girl I've been telling you about…Stella," Kendall told the headstone with a small smile, looking back at the blonde with admiration. Kendall had hoped that he wasn't going to have to feel awkward in this situation, and that Stella would feel weird talking back to an inanimate object.

"Hi, Mr. Knight," Stella said with a smile. "I've heard a lot about you." There was silence between the two, Kendall sighing deeply, as the wind began to pick up a bit, the grey clouds in the sky getting darker and darker.

"Did you mean what you said at the door?" Stella asked feebly, looking at him with a small smile, hoping with everything in her heart it wasn't just shock.

"Yes. Of course," Kendall replied immediately, moving a bit closer to her as they began to talk. "Of course I missed you," he told her with a small smile. Stella wanted to do nothing more but take his face in her hands and kiss him with everything she had, but she knew she couldn't. It was far too soon for anything like that.

"I missed you too," Stella told him with a smile. Kendall nodded and swallowed hard.

Silence again.

Stella looked at Kendall and smiled, trying her best to hold back some sort of tears that she felt springing to the surface. She blinked them away the best she could, feeling victorious as the wind helped her efforts.

"You're singing now? In front of people?" Stella asked him with a smile. Kendall became a bit more relaxed in the conversation and nodded, with a smile.

"Yeah, I am actually. Nothing too big yet, but it's slowly happening. Just like you said," he added in with a whisper, his facial expression changing to one of pure joy. In that moment, Stella felt as if Kendall inviting her to Christmas Eve was yesterday, when in actuality it was months ago. She remembered Kendall's gentle touch on her hands and how he had begged her to spend Christmas Eve with him. She thought of how they had been each other's first times in the cabin that night, and how Stella had never felt better in her entire life.

"I'm glad," Stella said after a few moments, letting the memories wash over her.

Kendall noticed the hesitation, and saw the look in her clear blue eyes, as if he was watching a film reel of their time together tick through her head. He smiled at her and leaned back on his hands, very nervous unto where this conversation was headed. It was like a storm… intense and unpredictable.

"Stella…why'd you come here? To Duluth?" Kendall asked her in a airy way, making no negative connotation was put into his words. He was a bit relieved when he saw her face turn into one of wonder rather than sadness. He kept thinking that she was going to say to get him, to somehow prove to them that their love was going to survive Kendall's hit, and he also half expected her to lash out on him for touching her in the first place. Kendall didn't know what to expect.

"Why do you think?" Stella asked him quietly, not sure what she wanted to say to him at the moment. Kendall sighed and looked at her a bit frustrated with her throwing the question back at his face.

"I'm not playing games…I want to know," he told her curtly, using his first bit of strong attitude towards her. Stella nodded, knowing that he was serious, the look in her brown eyes burning through her blue ones. She swallowed hard and laid back a bit, her fingers gently touching the cold headstone, her other hand clutching her jacket to her breast.

"I know that you tried to forget me, Kendall," Stella told him nodding. "W-when I got into your house," Stella said awkwardly, realizing they hadn't really said too much about that, even though Kendall had told her it was alright, "I saw that you had left the note and the song. I figured that since you left for California, you wanted a fresh start," she said. Kendall nodded, wanting her to continue and she looked at him with a small smile. "I tried that. I _tried_ to get you out of my life, cause I felt I didn't deserve you…and look at what I did," she told him, getting a chill from the thought of Cooper's hands all over her. "The only reason you are trying to forget me, is because of what I did when I was trying to forget you," she told him with a slight, sadistic chuckle in her voice. "It's a vicious cycle, Kendall. It never ends," she said with a frown, shaking her head.

Kendall didn't say anything but nod, taking everything in that she had said, trying to figure out what she really meant in all of this.

"So…you came back here, so I wouldn't forget you?" he asked her confused, his thick brows furrowed. Stella sighed and nodded no, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I came back, because I wanted you to know that I still love you, Kendall," she told him, breathing out slowly and opening her eyes with a small, helpless smile. "I love you so much, and I don't think I'll love anybody like this again, if I ever love at all," she told him with a chuckle, her eyes starting to water a bit. "But I know that we can't be together," she affirmed, causing the boy's lovesick trance to be broken as he stared into her eyes. Kendall scrunched his face a bit, very shocked at what she was saying.

"W-what?" he asked her, not noticing the stumbling in his voice.

"I love you. And I know you still love me, but w-we can't be together," she told him sadly, as if the fact that she was saying it was sending a knife through her heart. "It's not fair to either of us, and we both know it," she said breathily, looking down at her hands, not able to look in his green eyes. "We're not normal," she chuckled out a bit, causing Kendall to smirk, and move a bit closer to the blonde, feeling more and more comfortable. The air began to feel wet around them, the wind whipping around them as the trees and mementos of lives lost shook in the air.

"I know we aren't," Kendall told her with a soft chuckle, clearing the anxiety in his throat. He looked up at her with a small smile and sighed, not being able to take his eyes off of her. "That's how we work. Fighting, yelling, having sex after three days of meeting," Kendall told her with a chuckle as Stella smiled at him. "It works for us," he told her, "but you're right."

Stella looked up at him with a smile, feeling almost a weight being pulled off her shoulders. This is what she needed. The closure. The mutual feeling of love, but knowing that she could never be with Kendall. Here he was, about to be famous, and she was still the same runaway she was when she had met him nearly six months ago. She looked up into his celery colored eyes that smiled at her under thick brows and sighed deeply.

"But I'll always love you, Kendall Knight," she told him. Kendall nodded.

"I'll always love you too," he whispered. "My mom told me that sometimes you have to let the people you love go so they can be happy," he said swallowing hard, "and I think that applies here. I love you Stella, with all my heart, but we aren't right for each other," he said. Stella nodded sadly.

"It sucks…but it's true," she said, looking up at him with dark eyes. "I wish this was a better situation," she said.

"Well, I still think we were meant to be," Kendall told her confidently with a smile on his face, his eyes going to his father's grave and then back to her.

"How so?" she asked.

Kendall chuckled and smirked, moving closer to her, now just inches from her. "My dad sent you. A lot of people don't believe me, but I'm telling you. He sent you, Stella. Look at what you did for me," he told her with a smile. "I can sing in front of people now, just like you said I could. My anger got worse because of you, but then it was all put aside. It had to get worse before it got better, and you helped me through it. You got me through the first Christmas without my father, and gave me someone I could talk to. You gave me the best nights of my life, the best I've ever felt," he told her with a hint of seduction in his voice, a blush creeping to her face with a chuckle. Kendall took her hands and sighed deeply, looking at his father's headstone. "Right, dad? All of those reasons are why you sent her, but I know the main reason why," he said looking at the stone and then smiling at Stella. "You were sent to me by my father, so he could make sure I knew true love existed in this world," he told her, "and that it reigns over _everything_," he ended softly in a whisper, the feeling of Stella's warm hands on his like magic. Stella looked at their intertwined hands and gasped a bit, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, a soft boom of thunder echoing throughout the deserted graveyard.

And then, the storm came.

Sheets of rain began to fall down on the two lovers, their hands still grasped as they both got up quickly and began to ran towards the car. Kendall shouted a quick good-bye to his father, as they ran in half-hysterics and half- laughs to the car just down the small hill, the rain soaking them to the extreme. Kendall and Stella, out of breath, leaned against the car, as the rain fell down around them, nothing else heard in the deserted cemetery. Stella had been maneuvered so she was pinned up against the car, looking up at Kendall's eyes with a scared, lustful look. He swallowed hard and smiled softly, his hands on her hips and gently crashed his lips into hers.

Stella immediately wrapped her hands around Kendall's neck, his wet blonde hair falling over his eyes as their tongues met in passion and fury for the last time. Kendall's sweatshirt on Stella's body was heavy and soaking, as she parted the kiss and immediately took it off, throwing it beside her on the ground, her arms instantly wrapping around Kendall's neck.

This was the last time.

She immediately moved her hips to his, hitching her legs around his torso, causing the boy to grunt, the friction pressing down on his semi-erect length. Stella and Kendall's lips messily met amongst the powerful rain, not even caring if they were in the middle of the cemetery as he caught her legs tightly, pinning her against the car. Leaning back against the side of the car, Kendall immediately brought his hand to Stella's braless chest, and cupped it through the wet, thin fabric immediately massaging her exposed nipple. The touch of Stella's body was just how Kendall remembered it, so soft and sweet, yet rugged and sexual. He gently massaged the pink bud, allowing her soft moans and cries to be controlled by his simple hand movements.

"I miss you," Stella cried into him, warm tears starting to fall from her eyes, her shaking hands holding onto his neck. Kendall went to her ear, and began to bring his hands down to her jeans, unbuttoning them quickly, pinning her up more against the car.

"Don't miss me yet, Stella," Kendall told her with a sour, shaky voice. Stella stood on her own two feet as Kendall pulled her jeans down and off her feet quickly, as well as her underwear. Not showing any shame, he quickly exposed himself, his hands shaking from the rain and anxiety as he unbuckled his belt, and unzipped his fly, all the while Stella kissed him passionately and messily. Her hands ran through his hair, not caring her bottom half was completely exposed as the rain fell on her sweet, soft skin.

Once Kendall was exposed, Stella quickly returned to her original position, the feeling of their warm lower halves meeting absolutely beyond intoxicating for the two lovers. Kendall still roughly massaged her breast again her blonde hair dangling off her shoulders. She looked so submissive in front of him, and Kendall couldn't take it. Not much time to feel around, Kendall quickly brought his hand to her slick, warm center, and rubbed roughly with his palm, feeling her throb under his touch. Stella groaned in ecstasy, the feeling of Kendall's warm hands touching her in the cold rain heavenly, deciding to bring her hands to his length. She gave him one long stroke on the underside with her thumb, causing their kissing to break and him to hang his head in ecstasy, his entire body shaking. Knowing that they wouldn't last much longer otherwise, Kendall went to Stella's neck and slowly gnawed on her pulse point, as he powerfully thrust into her, her hips hitting the car roughly and letting out a moan.

Making sure to keep her pinned with the car, Kendall began to rock his hips, as Stella held onto his back tightly. The car moved a bit with them, the rain and thunder surrounding them as the two wet bodies moved in completely motion, heavy breaths being passed between blue lips. Stella and Kendall didn't kiss, but rested their foreheads against one another, looking into each other's eyes as they made love. Kendall held her hips tightly, tenderly kissing her lips every so often, as tears rolled down Stella's face. Her silent moans of wonder and joy were felt by Kendall with each thrust, as he squeezed into her warm confines, knowing that they were getting closer and closer to the end. Their hips met in thrusts towards each other, the feeling of each other's bodies absolutely wondrous. The rain got even harder as Kendall and Stella neared the end of their tryst.

"I wanna hold on, but I can't," Stella told him with a weak voice, near hysterics as he moved in and out of her losing breath. She never wanted this to end, and now she knew this would be the last time.

"I know, love," he told her with a shaky voice, it breaking as they neared the end, knowing this would be the last time they ever made love. Kendall swallowed hard, trying to keep his tears in eyes but a few sneaking out along with the powerful rain.

"I l-love y-you," Stella cried out with all the energy she had left, her voice starting to tense up as Kendall gave her one final thrust, and her legs began to jerk, a rush of pleasure to the apex of her thighs.

Stella came powerfully, Kendall trying his best to work her through it before he enjoyed his own orgasm, looking at the mix of love, and pure horror on her face as she felt Kendall release inside of her for the last time. She immediately began sobbing as Kendall came with a heavy hearted grunt, Stella making the move to snap her hips up and immediately milk him through it, giving him sweet kisses on his neck and ear as they began to slow down. The rain still pelted down around them, as Kendall rubbed up and down Stella's bare legs wrapped around him in the soaking weather, her head buried in his neck, crying into him hysterically.

"Never forget me, Kendall," she told him out of breath, addressing him by his first name, her hands rubbing his wet hair at the back of his neck.

"I won't Stella," he told her with soft tears, holding her tight. "I promise."

After a few minutes of just laying inside of each other, Stella shifting her hips a bit to feel Kendall's softened length, they finally separated and began to take cover in the car, ditching their jeans and just sitting in the backseat, just enjoying each other's presence while they still could. Kendall had his arm around Stella, as she rested her head on his chest, his hands gently massaging her hip under her soaked t-shirt.

"We have to make sure that was the last time, or else it's just gonna be harder to stop," Stella told him, a bit calmed down from the escapade just a few minutes ago. Rain pattered on the windows not nearly as much as before, but still in moderate amounts. Kendall nodded and kissed Stella's forehead softly with a sad chuckle.

"I was gonna settle for just a kiss good-bye, but that worked too," he said. Stella smiled and closed her eyes, nestling more into Kendall with a sigh.

"I'm glad it happened, even if we are shameless enough to have sex in a cemetery," she told him. He sighed and licked his lips awkwardly, nuzzling into her damp hair.

"We have to get back soon. Check up on Carlos," Kendall told Stella, his words being interrupted by the shrill rock and roll song on his cell phone. Kendall sighed and chuckle. "I bet that's him now," Kendall told her with a chuckle, reaching down to the floor of the car to get his phone from his pants pocket.

"Well, if he yells at you for being late, don't blame it on me," Stella said with a soft voice, trying her best to look up on the bright side. He looked at the phone and saw his best friend's name and picture come up, sighing deeply. Kendall answered it, and brought the phone to his ear and took a deep sigh, his hand still massaging into Stella's side.

"What's up, Carlos?" he asked into it. He heard nothing but soft cries, and rustling on the other side of the line, furrowing his brows at the sounds. "Carlos?" he asked again.

"K-Kendall, h-he might not m-make it through the night," he heard the distraught, upset voice of his best friend say. It was like someone had taken a knife and stabbed Kendall in the heart, everything dropping as tears nearly came to his eyes at the pure sadness in Carlos' voice.

"Buddy, what happened?" Kendall asked sitting up more alert his heart starting to race at his friend's cries.

"I-I don't know, he was…he was f-fine this morning, a-and then I got here a-and he might not m-make it Kendall, I-I can't lo-ose him," Carlos cried hysterically into the phone.

"I'll be there in a second Carlos, I promise," Kendall told his best friend with tears in his throat as Stella looked alarmed at Kendall's sudden change in attitude. His eyes grew light with worry, and his hands began to shake a bit.

"W-what's wrong?" Stella asked softly and afraid, as Kendall nudged her off and rushed to pull his soaking jeans on in the small, crammed space. Kendall looked at her and swallowed hard, his eyes heavy and heart beating fast.

"Carlos' dad is dying," Kendall told her softly.


	31. Maybe We Should Try

**A/N: Okay, it's gonna be a long authors note.**

*****Most important!*** ****Hooked**** will most likely NOT be updated next Saturday, and probably next Wednesday/Thursday. I have a lot of stuff going on this week and I know I won't be able to write, so sorry :/ But don't get crazy, cause the final epilogue will be posted more than likely soon after the next chapter. There is only one chapter left in the story, plust the epilogue! I know I have been on a strict updating schedule, so I do apologize, but I promise you the ending will be great.**

**As you know, my dear friend waterwicca is my inspiration for writing on here. Her story ****Past The Sorrow**** does indeed share many similarities with Hooked, and we are both well aware. I make sure to talk about anything that might seem too familiar too PTS with waterwicca and she okays ****everything**** I feel is too similar in the story. I want to give her a special author's shout out for all her help since November and all the wonderful things she has done for Hooked and for me. Send her message to show her the love :D**

**And here is yet another snippet from the wonderful Past The Sorrow:**

"Read another one," Kendall's voice rang out brightly between fits of laughter from where he sat on top of the fence surrounding the backyard.

He had a large oak tree behind him to press his shoulders into so that he wouldn't fall, and his feet rested against the horizontal support beam of the wood. His long arms stretched out as he reached to the right to catch a ball that Logan threw, nearly sending him off of the fence, but he didn't seem to mind or notice. Logan sat on the ground a few yards away from him with his legs folded beneath his body. They both smiled and tossed the green ball back and forth, glancing occasionally at James, who was situated in a lawn chair at a picnic table on the patio with his ankles crossed on the tabletop and a magazine in his hands.

"Why do you want to hear more? This stuff is ridiculous," Logan giggled, despite his words, and leaned all the way back until his shoulders touched the ground when Kendall threw a fastball. He caught it with a heavy breath and then tossed it back to his friend at the top of the fence.

"Logie, you only think it's stupid because you're a virgin," James insisted teasingly, smirking as his eyes left the men's magazine in his lap and met those of the brunette on the ground.

"Whatever. Where do you even get these magazines, anyway?" Logan asked, chuckling as he tried to keep his focus on Kendall, who was grinning and faking him out by threatening to throw the ball twice before actually releasing it into the air.

"My dad leaves them on the coffee table," James responded with a nonchalant shrug, leaning further back in his chair so that the legs rose slightly off of the ground.

"Yeah, because that's exactly the type of thing you should leave out to entertain company," the smart boy replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes and gesturing to the magazine, which had a picture of a tan and scantily clad woman on the cover.

"I find it entertaining," Kendall commented randomly, smirking at Logan when he received a disapproving glare.

"What a coincidence. Me too! It's two against one, Logan. So, just listen and absorb the knowledge I'm offering you. This way, you'll be prepared when you finally decide to forget about your chastity," James teased him with a fake look of authority, which Logan chose to ignore while the tallest boy began reading from the article they had been perusing for the last few minutes as they waited for Carlos. "It says here that 'premature ejaculation can thwart a man's sex life. In a recent survey, nearly one third of all 18 to 29-year-old men say climaxing too early is a problem'… What a bunch of losers! Only inexperienced, nerdy virgins would bust before even getting to the best parts," James declared arrogantly, snickering as he turned the page of the magazine.

Kendall rolled his eyes at his friend's attitude and shared a knowing look with Logan as the brunette threw the ball up to him and addressed James. Carlos grinned softly, loving how healthy Kendall appeared compared to only a month earlier. He was engaging openly and smiling without seeming to be in emotional pain. Although he was relatively quiet, the Latino suspected it was only because a conversation between Logan and James could be as entertaining as any movie they've ever seen. Sometimes it was a comedy, and sometimes it was a drama, but, usually, it was a mixture of both.

"Premature ejaculation is not a laughing matter, James. It's in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's a serious issue that people suffer from," Logan insisted sternly, taking on his role as future-doctor and already sounding sympathetic to an invisible patient. The pretty boy just gave him a smug smile and raised a sharp eyebrow at him.

"Oh, did I hit a soft spot?"

"Shove it, Diamond! It's not like you're perfect in every way," Logan seemed sure of himself as he turned his attention back to Kendall. He was ready to keep tossing the ball back and forth, but James wasn't going to let the conversation go.

"I've never gotten any complaints," James spoke without a single trace of humbleness.

"How would you know? You don't even stick around long enough to learn their last name, let alone what they'd rate your performance," Logan was snide as he commented on his friend's promiscuous behavior, but James' personality always stayed as bright as his smile.

"Doesn't matter. I already have the answer. I'm always a ten."

Before Logan could respond with another comeback, Carlos decided it was time to step in and stop hiding in the shadows. He was hoping that his own mood, which had been dampened by his discussion with his father, would liven up with the high energy surrounding him and the boys. He walked quickly across the lawn and sat down between Logan and James on the moist ground.

"What are you guys up to?" he asked, praying that he sounded more cheerful than he felt as he pretended to have no idea what they were discussing.

"Hopefully something else now that you're here," Logan sighed in exasperation, smiling thankfully at him before turning to catch the ball thrown by Kendall, who slumped his shoulders and softened his smirk.

"James was just teasing Logan," Kendall explained to Carlos shortly and then turned to Logan. "We know you're perfectly capable of satisfying your partner, Logie," Kendall spoke diplomatically, coming in between the rising tension with an easygoing smile of encouragement. His friend opened his mouth to thank him, but was cut off by James.

"You can't satisfy what doesn't exist," he declared in a sing-song voice, not even looking up from the magazine in his hands.

Carlos ducked right before Logan chucked the ball at James with all of his strength and then wore a smug expression as he watched him let out an unmanly squeal. He fell from his chair when the ball connected forcibly with his chest, and his ass hit the patio beneath him with a satisfying thud. Carlos giggled and watched James jump to his feet hastily, wiping the nonexistent dirt from his outfit almost as soon as he was upright.

"Nice!" Kendall announced his approval with a chuckle as he hopped off of the fence with a high amount of energy.

**MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS. It's so worth it.**

**And without further ado, I present Hooked. I really feel that this chapter wraps some of the themes and ideas that are loosely bound in here, and I hope that you agree!**

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-One: Maybe We Should Try_

James and Logan walked in silence to the large, central, bustling open area of the airport from the gate they had entered. Kim and Katie followed close behind them, the two boys nearly running out of the plane to get to the airport and see Kendall, needing the third side of their square to be alright. Kim had told them that Kendall was going be picking them up and then taking them right over to the hospital where Carlos was, and the boys understood that the faster they got there, the better it was. Luckily, Carlos' father had made the night, but it still didn't look good. It was nearly six in Minnesota, and the sun was beginning to turn the May sky a bit pinkish and orange.

James and Logan again had almost taken a vow of silence towards each other, not speaking out of some weird respect for the situation and each other, their minds full of what if's about Carlos, his father and their own problems here. They were about to lose another one of their parents, and after the death of Kendall's father, the boys didn't know what was possible. Sure, Carlos and his father weren't as close as Kendall and Kris, but what if that meant that he would regret all the times he didn't spend with his dad? Carlos could be filled with guilt and suffer from extreme regret his entire life and who knew how the bubbly, happy member of their group would take that? Carlos was still one of the most innocent boys that James and Logan had ever seen, and the fact that it could be taken away from him made their skin crawl.

"Do you see him?" Logan mumbled with a hoarse, unsure voice. He craned his neck around the busy airport, eyes scanning the seats for the mop of blonde hair he felt he hadn't seen in days. James sighed and hoisted his bag up more on his back, expecting Kendall to be there right front and center.

Then, as if the red sea was being parted, James saw an attractive blonde girl point to her and Logan as if she had just won a million dollar prize. James could see her big blue eyes from across the people that walked in front of her, a smile on her face. He cocked his head to the side, looking at her like he recognized her. The girl took a step forward and reached her hand out to the side of her, pulling a boy in her path.

It was Kendall.

"Logan," James said, hitting him with his hand. Logan turned around with confusion, and looked at the blonde girl and Kendall holding hands tightly, as they came up to them in a rush and myriad of emotions.

"I-is that…" Logan started off with wide brown eyes, almost not believing what he was seeing.

"Stella," James finished for him in a tight, whispery voice. As they approached the two boys standing in the airport, Kendall and Stella were breathing heavily with expressionless faces and sad, pouting eyes. Kendall immediately took his hand from Stella's and rested a hand on each of James and Logan's shoulders solemnly, his green eyes cast with a translucent tinge. It was as if he had forgotten Stella was there completely for a moment, and just focused on James and Logan, and that they had gotten here alright.

"Kendall, is this…her?" Logan said in a surprised voice, watching as Stella's face dropped with the 'her'. Logan immediately felt horrible for the words that had come out of his mouth, but he hadn't meant it that way at all. "I-I didn't mean it like t-that, I-I'm sorry," Logan said nervously, looking from Kendall, to Stella, to James and then back at Kendall, fearing that if he stared at the blonde too long that she would feel upset about his words. Stella smiled awkwardly and looked up at Kendall who seemed unaffected by all of this.

"Logan, James. This is Stella," Kendall said platonically, his mind obviously on other things right now. Stella nodded and Logan and James looked at her in awe, almost not believing she was real. It was like they could've painted her in their minds with all the spot on details Kendall had given them, from her eyes, to her smile, to her nose and hairline. It was all exactly like he had told them. They knew they had recognized her from somewhere.

"Kendall!" Katie exclaimed from behind the group, pushing past Logan and James to get to her big brother. Katie dropped her bag and immediately hugged Kendall's legs tightly, the boy trying his best to create a relaxed, safe environment for his little sister. Kendall leaned down to his legs, and grunted as he picked up Katie in his arms with a smile, kissing the side of her cheek.

"I missed you, Baby Sister," Kendall told her, the girl's brown eyes locking on the blonde girl to her right. Her eyes lit up and she had a confused face on, smiling at Stella with everything she had. She hadn't expected to see the blonde girl who had captured her brother's heart ever again, and her presence made Katie feel a bit safer than she had in a while.

"Kacey?" she asked softly, as Stella looked at Kendall with a chuckle, and then back at James and Logan. She obviously hadn't been filled on the details of Stella and Kendall's relationship.

"Hey, Katie," Stella said with a big smile, gently touching the girl's shoulder. "How are you?" she asked. Katie had obviously been crying a bit on the plane, especially since she had basically forced on her the fact that Mr. Garcia, someone who Katie had known her whole life, was dying. It was even worse that James and Logan weren't really talking and that Kim had been crying the whole flight, trying to unhinge her nerves with anything she could find.

"Okay. How are you? How are you here?" she asked the blonde curiously, as Kim appeared in the same path Katie had. Her weepy, red eyes were locked on Stella and Kendall, the entire group of six awkwardly confused and all asking questions in their heads. Kendall looked around at all of them with a sigh, knowing that while Carlos and his father were their main concern right now, the two Knights, Logan and James couldn't be more bewildered unto how Stella was back by Kendall's side again.

Kendall awkwardly dipped in his pocket for his car keys and took them out with a sympathetic smile, looking at all the faces he was so glad to see again.

"Why don't we just get home," Kendall told them with a nervous, shaky voice, not wanting to explain everything that had happened to him since being in Minnesota. Everyone else agreed silently, as they followed the boy and the blonde girl whose hands were tightly enclosed to the exit of the airport terminal, and out to the car, confused as they could possibly be.

* * *

Logan walked into his house, and the familiar smell immediately hit his nose, the delicious smell of his mother cooking his favorite meal, chicken noodle soup. Logan sighed and put his keys down on the table, closing the door and kicking his bag aside when he heard his mother's footsteps begin to come closer with anticipation and excitement.

The car ride home from the airport had been anything but settling. With seven people in the Knight's red mini-van, it felt more than cramped and not even space wise. The arrival of Stella at the airport had put everything in a glass jar sealed shut, creating the most awkward tension there possibly could be between all the people involved. Katie, who still knew Stella as Kacey, was the most talkative the entire trip home, speaking every few seconds or so. Luckily the trip from the terminal to central Duluth wasn't long. Kendall kept his eyes on the road the entire time, hands tightly on the wheel as Stella sat next to him, trying her best to disappear from the view of Kendall's friends and family. From the moment she had looked at them in the airport, things began to sufficiently awkward. It was if the boy was ashamed she was there, and Stella felt it. But then why did he bring her? Logan and James just exchanged looks the entire time, wanting to talk about all of this but not having the heart, as Kim continued to wipe her tears with the tissue she had been holding onto the entire flight. Right now, it seemed as everything in their lives was pure chaos, and they had to deal with one thing at a time. Logan was luckily the first to be dropped off, and he bid a silent "see you in twenty minutes" to the rest of the car, knowing that he could only stay home for a short while and then jet right over to the hospital.

Finally, Logan saw his beautiful mother begin to come towards him with a smile of pure joy on her face, her dark hair surrounding her face messily, wearing sweat pants and socks with a button down shirt. She looked relaxed and at ease, and Logan noticed it. She looked happier than he had seen her in a while.

"My baby," Kelley said with a weary voice as she moved closer to him, extending her arms out with joy. Logan, not caring that his mother was treating him like a little kid immediately fell into her embrace with a smile and chuckle, standing the same height as her, nuzzling his face into her hair. Logan loved the feeling of his mother's arms around him, knowing he was safe, and that he was able to protect his family. Ever since he had left for Los Angeles, there was a helpless feeling in him that he wouldn't be able to keep her safe from how many miles away, but now as she reveled in her arms, Logan felt alright.

"Hey, mom," Logan whispered to her, hugging her frame tightly, making sure every ounce of pressure he hugged her with made up for the month that he was gone. Right now this was what he needed. When everything else didn't make sense in the world, his mother's arms were something Logan could come to for security and stability. Kelley chuckled as she took in the smell of her son, which was still the same. The clean, freshly showered, cottony smell of Logan that he'd had since the day Kelley and John had brought him home from the hospital.

"I missed you," Kelley told him, not ready just to let go yet. Logan laughed, and squeezed his mother one last time before letting her go, seeing her eyes begin to get a bit glassy.

"I missed you too," Logan told her with a big a smile, the first time the boy had remembered being genuinely happy for a while. Kelley sighed and looked up and down her son, biting her lower lip in excitement.

"Look at you, Logan. You look all grown up," Kelley told him with an excited chuckle, her eyes shining in glory and happiness.

"Ma, I was only gone a month," Logan told her, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He sighed and looked in her eyes, as she touched his shoulder lovingly. It was as if suddenly the realization to why Logan was here in the first place came back, crashing on the mother-son pair like a tidal wave.

"Are you…alright?" Kelley asked her son. Logan took a deep sigh and looked at her sadly, not knowing how to answer the question. His best friend's father was dying, and it didn't make it any better that he wasn't talking to his own father, who was still alive and well.

"I guess. Things are just kinda…sucky right now," he told her honestly, his eyes small and weak, looking at his mother helplessly. "I just wish I was back here on better terms," Logan told her upset, nodding his head slowly. Kelley reached out to hug him again, her fingers touching his black hair gently and soothingly, her son melting into her soft caress.

"I know, me too. But we're all gonna be there for Carlos and his mom," Kelley told him gently, hearing Logan's soft, slowed breaths in her ear whenever she spoke. "And you boys are going to help him get through this, alright?" she told him with a smile, parting from him and touching the soft stubble on his chin tenderly. He nodded and leaned down to fasten his bag in his hand, ready to go back upstairs to his room and unpack for the night.

"Put that down Logan Mitchell, don't you _dare_ think you are going upstairs in that room to unpack," Kelley told him softly taking the bag from him roughly and putting it back down on the floor with a slam, rattling some of the figurines in the china closet next to the front door.

She did her best to try to change the mood from one of somberness to cheerfulness and excitement. Her son had been through enough the past few months, he didn't need anything else to draw him out, especially seeing as he was home, back in his own house for a few days. Logan gave his mother a raised eyebrow as she took his hand and brought him to the kitchen, sitting him down in his chair as he chuckled totally confused by his mother's sudden anticipation. Logan looked down at the place setting in front of him, as his mother went over to the stove. Kelley took the big pot of soup with two hands and placed it on the big hot plate in the middle of the table silently with a smile, as she nervously set it down, and instantly began to ladle it into Logan's bowl. Logan had never seen his mother so anxious to take care of him before, and he figured it was because she had been the only one in the house the past month. He had noticed how much freer and happier she seemed without the shackles of a deadbeat husband beating her to death. It was like Kelley was no longer in the plastic Barbie doll box of being a high school sweetheart, and a mother to a perfect, straight A son. Quite frankly, at this point, Logan though she might enjoy hearing that he had done something spontaneous…or illegal.

"T-thanks, mom," Logan said unsurely and confused, looking up at how each second of the woman's journey seemed to be planned out, going from the stove, to the table, taking Logan's glass, filling it with lemonade and then bringing it back before sitting down next to him, a bit out of breath. It was like she had practiced the routine, trying to get it spot on for when he arrived home. "I'm—a little scared, but thanks," he chuckled, taking a long drink of lemonade before setting it down next to his bowl. Kelley sighed and smiled, as if she had something on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to talk about, something Logan had no idea of. "Wh_yyyy_ are you…looking at me…like that?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow, picking up his spoon and beginning to divulge into the soup.

"A little birdie told me something," Kelley said to him with a sly smile, the wrinkles at the corner of her mouth and under her eyes showing with glee, as she reached her hand out to hit Logan's playfully, as if she was a teenage girl again. Logan looked at her confused and took another helping of soup, instantly feeling the warmth from his mother's home cooking coat his entire body.

"W-what are you talking about?" he asked her confused.

"I think her name was…Camille?" Kelley told him. Logan's eyes got wide, and he slowly lowered his spoon down into his soup, his face already beginning to turn red, his insides burning. How the hell did she know about Camille?

"H-how do you know about that?" he asked her, logically realizing that lying and denying he knew anything about his brunette sweetheart would only give him time to stall whatever he really had to tell her.

"Kim may have mentioned her to me," Kelley laughed at him, watching at how closed and uncomfortable her son grew with the mention of the girl's name. Logan quietly went back to eating his soup, wondering the barrage of questions his mother was going to ask about her.

"Oh," he said softly.

"Tell me about her, Logan," Kelley encouraged the boy with a smile, hoping that he would open up a bit. Logan had never been one to really hang out with the girls and truthfully, Kelley didn't know anything about her son's history with them…since there really was one. She had no idea if Logan had had his first kiss yet, or how far he had gotten with a girl. Those were things that only her husband knew, and John had never been one to blab out secrets. "What's she like?" she asked him.

Logan sighed and looked up at her with a sad, embarrassed and tired face. "Mom, do we have to do this right now? I gotta get back to the hospital, and unpack…can't we talk later?" he begged her with a sad look on his face, wanting to avoid the topic of Camille at all costs. As much as the brunette made him smile every day he had known her, the idea of talking to his mom about the girl who had given Logan quite a few interesting nights made him a bit uncomfortable.

"Oh come on, I just wanna know what she is like, Logan. You've never had a girlfriend before, she must be special," Kelley told him. Logan looked up at her with dark chocolate eyes and sighed, a bit annoyed at her phrasing.

"Are you saying that she's special because she's stupid enough to go out with me?" Logan asked her with a sigh. Kelley looked a bit confused and shook her head no, wondering why Logan had taken her out of context.

"No, not at all. She's lucky to have you. Look at you," Kelley told him with a bright smile. Logan blushed a bit, and took another mouthful of soup, twisting the glass of lemonade in his hand awkwardly as his mother sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to get any answers from him. "Okay, fine. Never mind," Kelley said sitting back in the chair and crossing her legs. "All I wanted to know was if my little boy was falling in love," she joked out. Logan looked at her with wide eyes and let out a small, nervous laugh of disbelief.

"W-what? Love? Mom, I'm barely sixteen!" Logan told her with wide, confused eyes. It wasn't like he and Camille would be another Kendall and Stella. Kelley looked at Logan with a raised eyebrow and a chuckle.

"And how old do you think I was when I met your father?" Kelley said to him, watching her son's face immediately change with the drop of his name. Things instantly got quiet between the two, as if Logan's anger silently filled the kitchen, becoming more and more abundant by the second. Kelley sighed and looked at him as he looked straight down in his bowl, wanting to forget that he almost ever had a father. "Logan, you can't ignore him forever, alright?" she told him. Logan looked up at her with a sigh, nodding his head, his eyebrows still perched oddly.

"I know. I won't. Just…just not now," he told her, as if he was shrugging off some household chore.

"I think now would be the perfect time, baby. Look at Carlos," she told him easily, as if she were trying to guilt trip him into talking to John. No other words needed to be said for Logan to understand what his mother was talking about, which was one of the best things about their relationship.

"I-I know, _believe_ me I know," Logan said with wide eyes, nodding down at his half-filled bowl. "That's the first thing I thought about when we heard the news," he whispered out to her. "I wanted to call dad up so bad and tell him I love him, and that I wish things could go back to the way they were but…but I just…I can't, mom," he said, closing his eyes with a sigh, and licking his lips. "When he called last time, I-I freaked out on him," he told her, even though Logan knew his mother had been there to witness it. "He was talking about visiting, and how he was proud of me, and it just…he made everything seem like it was alright. Like I had already forgiven him, and it—it just made me so angry. It was like I had to convince myself that he didn't care, just so I could get angry at him," Logan told her with sad, heavy brown eyes. Kelley sighed, feeling the turmoil inside her son in the deepest chambers of heart, watching as he tone and mood took a complete downfall. "And I know he cares about me, I know he loves me," Logan said to her.

"He does, Logan. Your father loves you very much, and he knows what he did was wrong to you, wrong to me, and wrong to our family," Kelley said, gently rubbing her hand over her son's with tenderness. "But do you know why he did what he did?" she asked him. Logan looked up at her and nodded no, very curious unto where this big answer had suddenly come from when Logan had been rhetorically asking it for months. "It was because he was bored, baby. He was bored with his life, bored with living the same thing every day. It was wrong of him to go out and do whatever he did with that girl, but he was stuck in this life he couldn't live anymore," Kelley told her son, trying her best to explain it.

"B-but you don't even sound mad at him, mom. I mean, h-he cheated on you. He was with another woman, a-and it doesn't even seem to bother you," Logan told her with a confused sadistic laugh. Kelley sighed deeply, and closed her eyes.

"I had my suspicions, Logan. Your father kept secrets well, but he wasn't totally stealthy," she told him, biting her lower lip awkwardly. Logan's eyes got wide and he looked at his mother in awe.

"Y-you knew?" he asked her. Kelley sighed and shook her head no.

"No. I didn't _know. _I had an idea of, and that's not the point," she told him. "Your father hurt me, he hurt us, and there is no way that I would ever even consider taking him back, baby. We're going through with the divorce civilly, everything is going to be alright, because I accept it. Your father wasn't happy, and quite frankly, neither was I," she told him. Logan swallowed hard and looked down at his soup, and then back at his mother. It was like she revealing some big bombshell to him and expected a bigger reaction, but Logan already kind of figured that she wasn't happy, seeing what true happiness was the past few minutes as he walked into the house; his mother cooking him dinner in sweatpants with loose, untamed hair and a big smile across her face.

"But, I mean, you guys were a _legacy. _You went out for so long, you…you were so in love, and then…everything got ruined. You got hurt by someone who loved you, mom, someone who made you unhappy for so long," Logan told her with a deep, confused sigh, "and I don't know how I would ever be able to bounce back from something like that," he chuckled out in disbelief. Kelley moved closer to him and nodded, resting her hand on his knee, making sure his chocolate brown eyes were locked with hers.

"Listen to me, Logan," she started off firmly, preparing to give her son a life lesson. "I want you to fall in love someday, alright? I want you to meet a beautiful girl, and get married, and have lots of kids," she told him, the corners of her mouth moving up with the mention of grandkids, "and I want you to love with _everything_ you have inside of you," she said proudly. Logan looked at her, trying to soak up her words as best as he could. "I don't want you to be skeptical about love just because of what happened between me and your father. That was one situation, and there are plenty of high school sweethearts out there who are eighty years old and still holding hands at the dinner table," Kelley joked out with a laugh. Logan gave her a small smile, but it soon faded as an immediate question began to jump into his mind.

"T-then what happened with you and dad?" Logan asked her.

"We didn't take risks, baby. We didn't try anything new, we didn't explore other options. We thought we were meant to be because we had been together so long…but we weren't," she said in a soft voice, causing Logan's head to scream Kendall and Stella. It was if it was the same situation that they were repeating, and Logan had no idea how Kendall was going to handle it. He just hoped he did it better than his mother. He didn't want his best friend to be miserable his whole life, and only find happiness within the release of a lover.

"Is anyone meant to be?" Logan asked her with a furrowed brow. Kelley shrugged.

"I don't know. I still think that even though me and your father didn't get the fairy tale ending we wanted, that we happened for a reason," she said. Logan looked up at her quizzically as she smiled down at him, running her fingers through the back of his black hair. He softened his eyes and bit his lower lip with a smile, looking down and then back up bashfully.

"Me?" he asked her. Kelley nodded and leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"You're so smart, Logie," she told him. Logan nodded and studied his mother's eyes for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath.

"Mom, did Mrs. Knight ever tell you about…Kendall and Stella?" Logan asked her out of the blue, as if he were reciting the name of some age old love story that everyone should've heard of by now. It was like the two were a legend, at least to the people who knew the entire story. Kelley nodded a bit confused, knowing that Kim had told her something about Kendall and this girl that he had been seeing, but she really didn't know the details.

"Not much, but that's Kendall's…girlfriend, right? The one that he met on vacation?" she asked him unsure. Logan nodded, deciding to keep to the easy version of the story, not telling his mother about the sex, the lies, and the screaming that went on between the couple. He just wanted a basic opinion, nothing more.

"Well, they said they were in love after 3 days of meeting each other, and then a bunch of stuff happened, and…and Kendall is _so_ adamant that she is the one for him, it's sick. He thinks that his father sent Stella to him, to let him know that everything is going to be alright, b-but I just…" Logan said half laughing, "it doesn't make sense. I mean, you and dad knew each other for _so_ long before claiming that you were in love, and then Kendall goes off and does everything and anything for this girl he doesn't even know, a-and it just doesn't seem right!" he told her with a sigh, not knowing where to turn with his words. "It's just this big mess I don't understand," Logan told her sadly, getting it all off his chest. He'd never talked about Kendall and Stella to anyone but James and Carlos, but it was if his mother's story was screaming the same echoes as Kendall and his blonde lover. "I don't see how he could love her so quickly! His brain can't even capacitate love at such a young age, and he met her on a whim, a-and after all they've been through with fighting and whatever he is still just so stubborn in thinking that she is meant for him! It's not logical!" Logan told her with short breaths, the fire for intellectual meaning in his heart coming through his speech. He took a few deep breaths and slowed his speech down with a sigh. "How can any love even be real when a legacy love story like you and dad crumbles down in the worst way imaginable?" he told her in a short, whispery voice.

Kelley took a deep sigh, wanting to find the right words to explain things to her son the easiest way she possibly could. His eyes looked as if they had been pleading for answers for months, and Kelley instantly felt a pang of sorrow for him, and the feelings that must've been churning inside of him.

"I don't know what to say about Kendall and his girlfriend, Logan. Maybe Kendall loves her, maybe he doesn't love her," she told him sternly. "Like I said, you don't know how he feels about her, and you can't assume things. Love isn't logical, Logan. That's what's so great about it," she said with a small smile. Logan sighed and scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"It doesn't even matter if it's logical anymore, mom. That's why I didn't believe in Kendall's claims the first time around, but then after everything happened with you and dad, I just…I mean, how can love exist after two people have loved each other just…stop? I always thought love was supposed to be forever and now it's just as if it's not a promise. Like it's all a lie," Logan said furrowing his eyebrows, finally reaching the complete apex of his arguments all these months. It was if a door opened to Logan's thoughts, all logic pushed aside, and emotion breaking its way through into the smart boy's brain. Kelley looked at him adamantly, biting her lower lip.

"Love exists, Logie," she told him softly. "I will _always_ love your father, just like Carlos' mother will always love his father, like James' mother will always love his father, and like Mrs. Knight will _always_ love Kendall's father," she told him with a gentle smile, touching his hand comfortingly. "But sometimes love isn't strong enough to hold two people together. But the people who fit just right, and stay together until the end," she told him with a raised eyebrow and small smile, "_those_ are the true examples of what love is all about."

Logan nodded and smiled to himself, looking down at the soup on the table that was half gone. He sighed and looked up at his mother smiling brightly knowing what he needed to do to fix this. He needed to clear his mind before going back to Los Angeles. He didn't want this guilt, this irrational feeling inside of them that ate him apart whenever he thought about his father. As much as he knew things would never go back to normal, Logan couldn't help but think _this_ was anything but ordinary.

* * *

James sat down at his dining room table, anxiously playing with his phone in his hand, just waiting for it to vibrate. After not talking to Lianna for mostly the whole day, he had decided to text on the way over to his house from the airport, needing that comforting, "everything is going to be alright" from her that didn't suffice from Kim, or his own mother. It was if James was in the room totally alone, not even realizing that his mother right across from him, looking at his every move since he had walked in the door.

James had been greeted by an array of hugs, and kisses, his mother telling him how much she missed him and how much she loved him. James just stood there, happy and overjoyed to see his mother, but with too much on his mind to feel completely at ease. He only had a little while home, seeing as he and the boys were going to the hospital as soon as they possibly could to be there for Carlos. James had expected to go home, talk a few words with his mother, throw something down his throat and take off to be by his best friend's side. The entire situation dampened the lives of all the boys, since in essence, they felt like they were all losing a father all over again.

James sighed uneasily, looking down at his cell phone which was totally clear of messages, making the boy upset as to why Lianna hadn't responded. The fact that James was so dependent on only hearing a few words from her made him cringe on the outside, but he couldn't help it. For some reason, the only way that he was going to feel any better was to hear from the beautiful brunette who had unexpectedly captured his heart, and the more James thought about it, the more scared he got to fall any harder for her.

"Sweetie, what are you looking at?" Lucie asked her son, seeing the heart wrenching upset look on his face. James sighed and gently brought his hands to the table, letting his phone drop on it carelessly and upset.

"My phone," he told her with an upset groan, crossing his arms over his chest. Lucie gave him a sympathetic look and sighed, reaching out and touching his hand from across the table.

"Waiting for a text from Carlos?" Lucie asked him knowingly, the boy shooting up a look of surprise at her. At this point James almost wished he was waiting for a text from Carlos but he wasn't. He was waiting for the words from a girl to make him feel better, to let him know that he had someone to count on besides his friends. Someone who liked him because he was James Diamond, not because he was family, or best friends with since pre-k.

"No, someone else," James told her with a sigh, running his hands through his sleek chestnut locks, arching his head to the kitchen doorway, wondering when his ten-minute oven meal would be finished. Lucie of course had offered to cook James something and felt foolish that she had nothing prepared for him when he walked in the door, but she had been busy most of the day doing chores, doing grocery shopping among other things. James had opted for something quick anyway, seeing as he wanted to the hospital to be with Carlos as soon as he possibly could.

"Kendall, Logan?" Lucie asked with a chuckle, hoping to raise her son's spirits a little, knowing that he was down because of all the drama that was happening right now. James looked up at her and nodded no somberly, Lucie taken aback. She knew James had a bunch of other friends, but to be so adamant about receiving a text from someone that wasn't Carlos, Kendall or Logan made her a bit uneasy to who he was talking to. "Then who?" she asked him.

James sighed and looked in her eyes with a small half-smile, nodding his head as he stared at the phone with searing eyes. "Someone from L.A. A friend," he told her swallowing hard, not wanting to give his mom anything to swoon over him with. The word girlfriend was something James had barely ever used, and he knew the first mention of it his mother would completely berserk.

"A…girl?" she asked him with a suggestive smile, wondering if her boy had met a nice girl in Los Angeles. Lucie and James talked a lot on the phone, but anything to do with girls usually went right to Jason, seeing as how James' father had an understanding of where James' whole love life was, where Lucie probably still thought her boy was an innocent little virgin who liked to give girls pecks on the cheek.

"Yeah. A girl," James replied a bit bitterly, wanting to know why Lianna hadn't answered any of his text messages. He thought about perhaps texting her again, but decided against it, not wanting to bombard her any more than he already had. He didn't want to be one of those annoying boys that bothered their "girlfriends" every chance they got. James wasn't even Lianna's real boyfriend, and the fact that he was thinking of all of these things was just making him more and more reserved about making it official. The fact that he was waiting patiently for a text from a girl, and was upset about getting it was just messing with James head even more. Right now, he just wanted to pick up his phone and text Lianna that he was tired of waiting for her, and to never talk to him again.

"What's her name? What is she like?" Lucie asked her son animatedly, as James rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, his eyes narrowed on his phone with anger. It seemed as if just everything was pissing him off today, including his mother's questions about Lianna.

"Her name is Lianna. It's not important mom, she is just a friend, alright?" James told her with venom laced in his voice, Lucie picking up on it easily. She looked taken aback by her son's bitterness, and began to question it, wondering if she should probe him, knowing what a fragile state he was in right now.

"_Brune, _she doesn't sound like just a friend to me," Lucie told her son affectionately, trying her best not to gush and dwell on the fact that James had something special with a girl. James looked up at his mother with sad eyes, and bit his lower lip annoyed. He was being irrational, and he knew it. Lianna was probably busy eating dinner, or taking a shower, or at an audition and that's why she wasn't texting him back. But James needed something to set him off, something to push him away from her like it had all the other times. "Did something happen between the two of you?" she asked. James sighed annoyed and looked at her with upset.

"No. She's just a friend, alright? Just a friend. Nothing more. I don't even want a girlfriend," James told her angrily, fire beginning to blaze in his eyes. Lucie looked at him, furrowing her brow with upset and annoyance. "Can we not talk about this now? I have a hundred other things on my mind right now with Carlos and his father," James snapped at her angrily.

"You listen here James Kennedy Diamond. _Don't_ you use that tone with me. I'm asking you a question," Lucie told him sternly, James looking at her with a confused expression on his face. His mom wanted to know what was going on, and she knew better than to believe James' side of the story. The way he stared at his phone, how his heart looked affected and the lack of sparkle in his eyes gave it all away. He didn't look heartbroken or miserable…just conflicted about something.

"I like her, okay? Does that answer your question?" he told her with a slight attitude in his voice, cracking at the apex of his phrase. "I like her, and I don't know what to do about it. It's messing everything up," James told his mother annoyed, puffing and crossing his arms across his chest. Lucie looked at her son with a smile and sighed, hating that he was conflicted and annoyed with himself but happy that it was something worthwhile to be upset about.

"What is it messing up?" Lucie asked curiously, not knowing if she understood her son's point. James sat more forward and shot his phone one final look before looking up at his mother, wondering how she could not understand his point.

"Everything! Look at me, mom! She's all I think about lately! I've never felt this way, and it's scaring me! I don't wanna be sitting here at the dinner table, wondering why she hasn't texted back, or being some desperate boyfriend who caters to his girlfriend's needs and that only. I'm independent, I'm gorgeous, I'm successful, and I don't want to ruin it with something like love!" James chuckled out annoyed, furrowing his brows and looking at his mother like she was stupid. How could she not understand all of this? James had been the one to tell her he didn't want love, and how he was so against it ruining his dreams. It wasn't as if he had some miraculous change over the course of his month in Los Angeles. "You know this about me, ma. I don't—I don't like love," James joked out ridiculously, picking up his phone and checking if there were any new text messages on his phone, finding out there were none. He slammed the phone back down and pulled at his hair, taking a large whiff of the nauseating dinner that was awaiting him in the oven.

Lucie did nothing but chuckle and smile, looking at her crazed son. "Listen to me, _Brune,_" she said to him softly, locking her eyes on his. "You think you haven't changed, but you have. You just don't know it," Lucie said. James looked at his mother like she had two heads, not wanting to play games anymore. He sighed and slumped his shoulders annoyed, just wanting her to stop with her philosophical quotes and tell him straight out.

"Tell me how, mom. Please, enlighten me," he said agitated by this whole conversation, biting his lower lip in awkward annoyance.

"James, the fact that you even admitted to liking her is a change. The fact that you haven't completely pushed her away yet is a change. The fact that you can't stop thinking about her is a change. You think that you are going to push her away, but you won't," Lucie told him softly, looking into his eyes.

"And why is that?" he asked her.

Lucie sighed, hearing the ding of the oven, James' meal finally being finished. "You would've done it already," she told him, getting up from the table and waltzing into the kitchen. James sat up more erect in his chair, eyes following his mother as he looked down at his phone. He swallowed hard and sighed. It was true. It was all true. He would never be able to send that "get away from me text" that he thought he would want to send. Conversations with Lianna, spending time with her, and looking at her smile were things James enjoyed. He didn't want to have to throw that all away, just because he was scared of love. He didn't want to continue on this path of self-destruction, and wait till love found him when he was a forty year old actor, trying to make his way in Hollywood. He was only sixteen. He didn't _have_ to fall in love with Lianna, but he didn't know if he would. It was all a game, some twisted form of fate that sank into James' mind as he thought of it. Maybe he was supposed to knock her into the pool that day, and maybe she was meant to push him back in. Maybe things in this world _were _meant to be.

Maybe Kendall Knight had been right.

James' thoughts were struck aside by a thunderous vibration of his phone against the table. He instantly picked it up and looked at the name, seeing Lianna's name pop up with a new text message. He opened it quickly, his eyes not being able to read it fast enough.

_**From: **__Lianna_

_Sorry, I fell asleep. You okay, babe?_

James' smiled immediately spread across his face at the slightest hint at the nickname. Babe. He had never been called babe before, and actually found it quite fitting, seeing as he was very attractive. His fingers gently tapped the buttons of his phone, trying to come up with a response that matched that in any way possible. He wanted the smile that was on his face to pop up on Lianna's. He took a deep breath and bit his lower lip, typing back.

_**To: **__Lianna_

_Now I am :) So I'm a 'babe' now?_

James pressed the send button, the words of comfort from his almost girlfriend flowing through his body, not even realizing that his mother had come back in the room, serving him the dinner he was about to partake it. Suddenly the oven macaroni and cheese seemed more delicious than anything James could've smelled as he looked up at his mom.

"I guess she texted back," Lucie told him, setting a glass down of soda next to him. James nodded up at her and looked back down at his phone, receiving another text from Lianna.

_**From: **__Lianna_

_Good. And only if you want to be? :)_

James chuckled at the text and nodded, typing back quickly on his phone as his mother planted a kiss on his forehead and sighed, walking back into the kitchen with a smile on her face.

* * *

Carlos Garcia sat in the waiting room alone, looking around at all the sad, upset people who sat around him. It was the only thing getting him to keep from bawling.

He wasn't alone.

There was a wife of an elder man who was down the hall from Peter, tears streaking down her face as he brittle hands did their best to text message on a cell phone. Who Carlos assumed was her daughter, was trying to help her, her own eyes red and bloodshot from crying. He sunk back in the plush waiting room chair, his eyes swollen from crying so hard. He didn't want to be around his mother, he didn't want to be around Gabriela, or her son Greg, he didn't want to be around anybody but his best friends.

The past few hours seemed endless for the boy as he sat down in his seat, wondering how and if his life was about to change. He had seen what had went on at Mr. Knight's funeral last year, and how Kendall acted during and after it. He didn't want to have to go through the emotional and physical stress that came along with losing a father, he didn't want to have to deal with it. Carlos didn't want his father to die, not now, not while he was still so young. Carlos felt he wouldn't be able to handle having this empty spot in his life where his father was, when the man still had so much life to live. He thought about how it would affect Gabriela and Greg, his own mother, his friends, their mothers. Peter Garcia's death would affect so many people, all because of a stupid man with a gun.

Carlos took a deep sigh and crossed his arms across his chest, sinking into the seat even more as slippery tears fell down his cheeks.

"What room is Peter Garcia in?"

"Just down the hall. But I'll only allow two visitors in at a time. Mr. Garcia is very weak in his coma."

Carlos picked up his head a bit at the familiar voices he heard in the hospital and swallowed hard, wondering if he was just hearing things. He heard a barrage of footsteps squeak on the linoleum floor and bit his lower lip holding back a smile when he saw everyone come into view. Logan and James stood in front with somber, upset faces on, Kim and Katie behind them, the older woman grasping her daughter's hand. Kendall and Stella weren't following.

"Carlos," James said with a smile, as his eyes locked with the Latino's. Carlos immediately stood up, his face starting to scrunch with emotion, as he tried his best to hide his tears. James immediately fast walked to his best friends, throwing his arms around him in a big hug. Carlos immediately felt ten times safer in James' arms and sighed at the mutual embrace. James patted him on the back twice and they parted as he looked into his best friend's eyes.

"I can't believe you're here," Carlos told him with a small chuckle, totally dumbfounded how his best friends came halfway across the country just for him.

"We're a team, Carlitos. We're all here for you, your mom and your dad," James said just above a whisper, nodding his head and smiling. Carlos nodded and smiled as his gaze was directed to Logan. Logan opened his arms up and gave Carlos a tight hug, going to his ear with a smile.

"We missed you too much, buddy. We had to come and see you," Logan joked out awkwardly, trying to find the best words for this type of situation. He knew that if it was anybody else, Carlos would be trying to cheer them up to the best of his ability. Carlos smiled a bit and nodded as Logan stepped out of the way next to James, letting Kim and Katie have their turn to bid hello to the Latino.

"Hi, Carlos," Katie said awkwardly, not knowing what to say to him. She could see that he was crying, and while she knew Carlos was the most emotional out of the four boys, she had never seen him really cry like this. His eyes were puffy, the stubble on his chin dark and his body looked tired and achy. Carlos kneeled down to the little girls level and gave her a tight hug, struck by her innocence. This was not the Katie Knight he had left at the apartment a few days ago. Katie seemed much more reserved and quiet, as if she didn't know what was going on, but knew it was a bad. She was like a dog when a storm approached with her body shaking in fright, her eyes big with wonder and confusion.

"Thanks for coming, Katie," Carlos whispered in her ear, giving her a quick kiss on the hair and standing back up. He blinked his eyes a few times, and sucked a breath in, trying to remain as strong as he possibly could. But now he faced his ultimate demise…Mrs. Knight. Kim's eyes were red, and she bit her lower lip white with upset. Carlos didn't know if it was the fact that she had known his parents so long, or if it was the fact that she had been through this situation before.

"I'm s-so sorry, swe-etie," Kim barely got out with her voice cracking in half. She extended her arms out to Carlos and hugged him tightly as his mother would, rubbing his back soothingly as Carlos blinked his eyes, a few tears falling down his cheeks. "It's gonna be, o-okay, Carlos. Your dad is a fighter," she told him in a whisper. Carlos nodded as Kim gave him a kiss on the cheek, and one last squeeze before letting him go.

"I know," Carlos responded to her weakly, not sure if he really believed anything anyone was saying. He turned to James, Logan and Katie and sighed with a small smile on his face. He stuck his hands deep into his pockets and smiled at his family.

"Thanks for coming you guys, you didn't have to though," he told them shyly, scratching the back of his neck feeling a bit over loved at the moment.

"Of course we did, Carlos," Logan told him with heavy eyes and a small smile. Carlos nodded and took his seat back in the chair with a sigh, his hands on his knees pensively. Now that his friend's were here, hopefully he'd be able to get his mind off his father and return his mindset before learning the terrible news.

"Carlos, where is your mother?" Kim asked him, wiping the last of her tears from her eyes. She looked increasingly uncomfortable in the hospital, holding Katie close to her as if she didn't want her to touch anything. Carlos suspected because she hadn't been in a hospital since she had to come here for Mr. Knight the day he died.

"Uh…cafeteria," Carlos told her sheepishly with a nod. Kim nodded and looked down at Katie who was quiet and sad.

"Why don't we get something to eat, sweetheart," Kim told her with a smile. Katie looked up at her mother with a smile, as the two began to walk away from the three boys sitting down, leaving them to be in their own conversation. As soon as Kim and Katie were gone, Logan and James instantly got more comfortable with their best friend, wanting to know exactly how to fix this for the time being. They both expected Carlos to break down into tears, and tell them how much he would miss his father if he died, but he didn't at all. Carlos had cried enough, and with the arrival of James and Logan, he couldn't help but want to know something.

"Have you guys seen her?" Carlos asked with a sigh, wiping the last of the sniffles from his nose with a sigh. James and Logan looked at each other a bit confused, not knowing what he was talking about in the slightest. Logan was about to say something about Carlos' father's girlfriend, but he knew that the boy had already met her upon first arriving here. That's what Kendall had told his mother. Logan swallowed hard, cautious to talk and he bit his lower lip with a sigh.

"Seen…who?" he asked Carlos.

"Stella," Carlos responded, as if it was just any other conversation. Logan and James looked at each other and then back at Carlos, who apparently knew about the girl and had met her from the way he sounded.

"Uh, Carlos, don't you think we should be talking about…more important things?" Logan told him with a chuckle, awkwardly trying to get off the subject. Why would Carlos wanna talk about something like Kendall and Stella when his father was slowly dying down the hall?

"I wanna be normal, guys, alright? Please? Can we just talk about something normal?" Carlos asked with pained, closed eyes as James chuckled a bit and sat back in the chair.

"Well I wouldn't call Kendall and Stella _normal_, but alright," he told the boys. Logan and Carlos each smiled a bit at James and then sighed. Carlos looked down at his hands and then up at his friends again.

"So, have you?" he asked them. Logan looked at James and James at Logan. They then both looked at Carlos and nodded.

"Yeah," James said shifting in his chair with a sigh, "and she is actually like how Kendall described her. Down to every detail," James told him. Carlos' face lit up a bit and he nodded.

"That's exactly what I thought," he said. Logan nodded and chimed in.

"I'm guessing, you've seen her? Talked to her?" he asked the boy quizzically. Carlos nodded and sat back a bit. He had the opportunity to spend all of yesterday with them, seeing as when Carlos found out the news his father might not make it, Stella and Kendall were first at the hospital.

"It's a long story, but I met her in Sherwood's when I went to pick up some stuff for my mom, and we talked. And then I brought her to see Kendall at his house," Carlos told them with a sigh, looking at his best friend's with a stern face. He swallowed hard and nodded, rubbing his hands together anxiously. "I was wrong. We were all wrong," Carlos said with a chuckle, feeling a bit proud at his admittance, wondering if the other two boys felt the same.

"Wrong about…what?" James asked.

Carlos took a deep sigh and licked his lips. "Wrong about how they weren't in love. Wrong about how love like that didn't exist," he told them in a whisper. He locked eyes with them with a small smile on his face. "You know, my parents…hated each other," he said with closed eyes, feeling the force of the word inject his heart with sorrow. "And now, my dad is…," he said, not being able to finish the sentence, "and my mom has been right by his side the entire time, like they never left each other," he told the boys. James and Logan listened intently as Carlos came to a realization. "My father loves me, and my mother loves me. And even though they don't love each other anymore, I-I know that my mom would do anything for my dad and vice-versa. They'll always be something between them, even if it isn't love," Carlos told them. "Just because it didn't work out for them, doesn't mean it won't work out for me," he whispered. "And when I saw the way Stella and Kendall looked into each other's eyes when they were reunited, I-I saw it. I saw what my parents used to have, and it was…mind blowing," he chuckled out, biting his lower lip. "They really are in love. I don't know what they plan on doing about it, but they are in love," he finished up.

James and Logan sat there, wondering if Carlos was just like this because of the circumstances, or because he really though Stella and Kendall's feelings were true. After Logan's talk with his mother, and James' talk with his mother, the two boys couldn't help but feel the same way as Carlos did.

"I know what you mean, Carlos. My mom told me some stuff about her and my dad today, and…" he continued, "it just made me think. My mom loved my father so much, but…they didn't explore other options. They both got bored with it, and the love they had wasn't enough," he explained to the boys with a sigh. "But I look at her now, and she's so much happier without him. She still loves him, she always will, but it wasn't enough. Things just kinda faded out between them, and it happens. But she'll always have something for him in her heart, because she was happy at one time," Logan explained to them, trying not to sound over logical or over emotional. Logan looked up at Carlos and chuckled. "I guess maybe we _should_ try to find love, instead of just depending on one another the rest of our lives. I mean, look at Kendall. He may be fucked up, but at least he got laid and was happy for a while," Logan said trying to lighten up the mood. "Heck, maybe he still is happy."

James nodded. "Exactly. That's why I'm going to ask Lianna to be my girlfriend when we get back to LA," James announced proudly, looking at the two boys with a smile. The boys' jaws dropped at the 'g' word, and each of them looked like they had just witnessed a murder. James Diamond…with a girlfriend?

"Shut up," Carlos exclaimed more excitedly than the boys had heard him all day with a smile on his face. Logan looked at James like he was crazy, as the brunette smiled at Carlos, loving how he put a smile on his face.

"Did he just _really_ say that?" Logan asked them with a chuckle, as if he was addressing a crowd in a stage production. James nodded sheepishly, looking at the boys' disbelieved faces. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"But this _doesn't _mean that you can start making ball-and-chain marriage jokes, alright? It's _just_ a girlfriend, okay?" he warned them with a stern finger. Carlos and Logan each put their hands up in surrender as the boy shared a laugh, Logan looking at James with a smile.

"What…brought this on?" he asked confused. "I mean…since when do you _not_ sleep with girls and-and actually text them, and talk to them?" James sighed and looked from the boys eyes with a smile. He knew he deserved this after so many years of being the "school slut" and he would have to deal with it in the best way he could.

"Lianna is different, guys. I can't keep pushing away things because I'm afraid it's gonna screw up my dream and I'll be a man working a regular job like my dad, coming home to wife and a kid. I wanna be happy. Kendall was right, I can't keep doing this and cheating myself out of things. It's gonna take some…adjusting," James said a little antsy that he knew he wouldn't be having sex for a while, "but I want this. I want her," he told them softly, shaking his head in disbelief. "And if I didn't want her, I would've pushed her away already," James told them, echoing his mother's own words. Logan and Carlos both smiled and nodded, looking at each other with happy, excited faces on.

"Good for you, man," Carlos told him.

"Yup. So is it a black tie wedding?" Logan asked with a grin, James giving him a hard punch in the arm, causing the boy to grab at it in pain.

"Ouch! That really hurt!" Logan told him with furrowed brows and an upset look, rubbing his arm tenderly. James shrugged.

"I warned ya," he told him. The three boys' chuckles all died down within seconds, as they sat in the waiting room which had emptied out over time, and just looked at each other in silence. They hadn't realized that they were the only ones in here now.

"So I guess we all kinda changed our opinions about all this stuff," Carlos said. "About love and shit like that," he added on to clarify. Logan and James both nodded with a sigh.

"I guess…now we kinda understand why we didn't believe in Kendall and Stella," Logan joked out, running his hands through his spiky black hair. "Between my cheating father, Carlos' angry father, and James' loving, conventional parents," Logan joked out sadistically, studying the design of the floor tiles in the hospital waiting room, "it seems we were all a little messed up in the head for one reason or another."

"Agreed," James said softly, nodding his head. Carlos swallowed hard and sighed.

"Is she nice?" Logan asked awkwardly, breaking the silence that hung between them. Carlos raised an eyebrow and looked at Logan confused, before it hit him who he was talking about. "Stella, I mean. She showed up at the airport with Kendall, but didn't talk to anyone. I think we were all just more concentrated on being here, and I also think it was surreal that she…actually existed you know? Like we never saw a picture, or text messages from her or anything like that," Logan clarified.

The Latino's eyes carried up to the corner Logan sat by. As if on cue, he saw the gentle face of Stella and the determined face of Kendall Knight round the corner with sad, sympathetic smiles on their faces. Kendall's green eyes shone as soon as he laid eyes on his best friends, holding Stella's hand tightly as could be. Their footsteps seemed silent as they approached the group slowly, looking happy to see them.

"Well, why don't you find out yourself," Carlos told them, motioning his chin to the pair, as Logan and James turned around in their seats, looking up at the star-crossed lovers who had entered the hospital and approached them slowly, their love hanging over their heads on display for everyone in the world to possibly see.


	32. Two Is Better Than One

**A/N: Okay guys. This is the last ACTUAL chapter, but the prologue will be up sometime soon, I promise. Sorry this is so late, but it's over 10,000 words so be happy. Yup, this is it for Stella and Kendall. But I'll leave my good-bye author's note for the epilogue. Enjoy, and again, sorry for the lateness :/**

**And of COURSE you MUST keep reading/reviewing Past The Sorrow by waterwicca. Here is a snippet like usual:**

"Great party…" Logan appeared beside him and settled next to him on the pavement. His comment was sarcastic, which James easily picked up on.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday," James added with a bitter laugh, not liking that the day turned out terribly for both of them. He absentmindedly rubbed his wrists, hoping that the cuffs hadn't messed with his flawless skin. He wouldn't meet Logan's eyes, but the shorter boy wasn't attempting to force him into anything.

"Technically, my birthday was yesterday," Logan tried to lighten the mood, but his heart wasn't fully into it, and James didn't take the bait. Both of their gazes drifted elsewhere. Logan watched a plane pass above them in the sky, and James picked at the threads of his long sleeves.

"I wish it was still yesterday. I wanna take this whole night back," James professed humorlessly, sighing heavily. He was in a dark mood, and it was rare to see, but Logan felt like he could relate.

"Bullshit. That party was epic. If anything, the cops showing up is only going to get the school to talk about you more," Logan reassured him quickly, believing the words he spoke. It may not have gone as planned, but James' reputation would definitely get a boost by Monday.

James smirked, but the expression wasn't fully there. His eyes followed a thick crack in the asphalt beneath his sneakers. It was a harsh and jagged line dividing the space between his parents' cars almost symmetrically. It slipped between his sprawled legs perfectly down the center. James was caught right in the middle of it. His hazel eyes darted back and forth to either side of the imperfection marring the smooth surface, and he felt the urge to move over and be only on one half of the divider. Sighing heavily and slumping down further against the curb, he cursed his inability to choose which way was the right way.

"Come on, you know you wanna smile," Logan coaxed him, nudging his slackened shoulders with a lopsided smirk, which ended up settling into a pitying smile. "You only feel bad now because of your parents. Things will be better in the morning…"

"They'll be worse. It's my mom's weekend. Everything's terrible over there, especially after they…" James frowned deeply and gestured behind them to the police station, "… after they do that," he finished, referring to their intense arguments.

"I know it's hard. Seeing them fight was… intense," Logan whispered the last word, his chin falling almost all the way to his chest when he closed his eyes. James caught the movement and reacted softly.

"Déjà vu?" he wondered aloud, raising up the issue of Logan's own parents and his abusive father.

"Yeah, a little bit, but pretty much any confrontation makes me think of my father," Logan admitted quietly, finally turning and meeting James' eyes with depression and understanding.

"Wow, I must really look like shit if you're going to talk about your dad," James laughed dryly, knowing that it was a rough and rare topic for Logan to discuss. He shifted his focus upward, silently pleading for his friend to keep going with the conversation. He felt a strong comfort from it, and he thought that, if he dropped the subject now, he'd lose a golden opportunity to get the dark-haired boy to open up.

Logan was always an emotional teenager, but never when it came to this. The memory of his father stayed locked in a prison of frosted glass; it was observable, but protected and kept hidden from too many prying eyes. Only Logan could really see it and share the damaging, severe details when he was ready.

His best friends know the basics, but Logan only let himself cry about it for a year after Patrick left, then it became all about being strong for his mother as well as a grieving Kendall when Mr. Knight was unfairly taken by cancer. Logan knew that he was better off without his father, but he could never say the same for Kendall. That boy had his idol stolen from him. Logan just lost his. It slipped right through his tiny, weak fingers. Both tragedies were unjust and cruel, but, in Logan's young mind, Kendall took precedent, and he kept that pattern throughout the years. Everyone's above him. Everyone's more important than Logan Mitchell. At least, that's how he saw it.

"What do you want to hear?" Logan relented, lowering a few of his walls so that James would feel like he had a partner in his sorrow.

"Anything," James answered quickly, trying not to sound too enthusiastic about it, but he was inwardly thrilled that Logan was going to share something with him. It brightened his dark mood just a single shade when he felt like he wasn't so alone.

**You know you wanna read it, don't you? SO DO IT!**

**And also check out **Something To Sleep To **by** so-complicated! **It's just starting off, so there is NO excuse not to read! The fourth chapter will be up soon, and it has EVERYTHING you could possibly want in a fic! Check it out! You will NOT be sorry.**

**And now, for the final actual chapter of Hooked. I hope you guys aren't disappointed *cries***

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Two: Two is Better Than One_

"Hey guys," Kendall Knight said to his best friends, addressing the group of tired eyed, sleepy boys that sat in the waiting room. Kendall squeezed Stella's hand tightly as the two casually made their way to the seats right across the small table from Carlos, James and Logan, sitting down quietly and comfortably.

"Hi…Kendall," Logan said awkwardly, not knowing it would be proper or appropriate to address Stella. The couple sighed, as comfortable as ever, but with sad looks in their eyes. Logan didn't know if they were just looks of sadness because of Carlos and his father, or if it was something deeper.

Kendall and Stella sat next to each other as a ticking time bomb, each second passing another closer to when they had to part. Right now, they were together. Right now, they were happy. Right now everything was fine. They didn't know how, but it was. It seemed as everything in their relationship, no matter how severe or insignificant had changed the course of their lives slightly. As they looked at Logan, James and Carlos, both of them knew they had some explaining to do.

"How's your father, Carlos?" Stella asked softly with somber blue eyes, her voice whispering through the winds of the stuff, small waiting room. Carlos sighed and bit his lip, hating to have to tell Stella how nothing had changed since her and Kendall had last been there this morning.

"No change," Carlos got out meekly, his voice cracking with sadness as Kendall massaged Stella's shoulder comfortingly, as if it was _her_ father who was dying.

"How are _you_?" Kendall asked more directly, his green eyes locked on the Latino's shrugged shoulders, his permanent frown and upset. Carlos looked at Logan and James who still were a bit clueless about this situation, and then at Kendall and Stella, the corners of his mouth arching up into a small grin.

"A lot better now," he said. Kendall and Stella both smiled and looked at James and Logan, whose eyes were locked on the girl they had barely met this morning. Everything was beyond chaotic upon arriving home, and both Logan and James didn't even fully understand the fact that Stella, the girl who Kendall had gone on and on about for months was here, right in front of them, giving their best friend all the love that he raved about for months. It seemed surreal. It was if Stella had jumped out of Kendall's mind and into real color, real matter.

"So uh…I know you guys sorta met her this morning, but this is Stella," Kendall said to Logan and James awkwardly, battling the silence with his meek introduction of the blonde next to him. James and Logan looked at her with a smile, watching as her pursed lips pulled up into a smile.

Logan looked at the blonde like she was some sort of science experiment. All the hurt, and all the sleepless nights and stupid things she had made Kendall go through, and here she was, acting as if none of it had ever happened. Not logical at all, definitely not. How could Kendall even stand there and put his arm around her after everything that had happened between them? The fighting, the lying, the violence, it was if everything that could possibly be wrong in a relationship was wrong for them, but Kelley's voice rang in Logan's head. He didn't know what they felt, he couldn't know what they felt. It was impossible. Logan was just merely an innocent bystander to Kendall and Stella's love, and that's all he ever would be.

"I'm—"

"Logan, right?" she asked him with not a weak, tiny voice, but with an energetic, excited voice. Well, as excited as she could be at the moment. She looked from James to Carlos to Logan with narrowed eyes, biting her lower lip as she nodded. She felt confident with her choice and looked back at Kendall with a small smile. "Right?" she said, her eyes locking with Logan's.

"Right," Logan said with a weak, frail voice and a smile. Stella looked at James a bit confused, as if she was trying to grasp his name from the top of brain. She knew it began with a J, but feared saying the wrong name, not wanting Kendall's friends to think she was an idiot. After staring at the boy for a few seconds, it popped into her head as easily as anything would.

"James! You're James," she told him in a low exclamation, squeezing Kendall's hand tightly. Kendall was in awe about how excited Stella was about getting the names right. The only two people more surprised were James and Logan, who based on the quiet blonde girl who hadn't said a word this morning had no idea that Stella even really had a voice.

"Yes," James said with an awkward face, unsure about how to handle the girl's guessing game. Was she acting like she knew exactly what all James and Logan were about? Was she guessing completely? Was she trying to impress Kendall? James had no idea what was going on at the moment, and looked at Logan for some kind of sign to see his thoughts. The furrowed and raised brown combination on his forehead said the exact thing as James. They had no idea what to expect from this girl any longer.

It was then as if the boys expected Stella to take out a microphone, and start introducing her guests like she was some sort of Oprah Winfrey. They expected her to be a bit quiet, and awkward around them. She had put the four friends through hell and back, and now she was just acting as if she had known them forever?

"Kendall's told me a lot about you guys," Stella said with a smile, tenderly rubbing her fingers through Kendall's hand as if she owned him. Logan looked down at their intertwined hands and bit his lip, trying to hold back all the feelings he was having in that moment. It was like…Stella owned him. What could Kendall have possibly told Stella in the past six months that gave her right to address them like that? Him like that? While Logan had no honor to combat what they felt, even seeing it in their touches and comforting glances, he had all the right to wonder why Stella acted like she knew all of the boys so well, and why she felt the need to be so genuinely outgoing about all of this.

"Yeah, he's told us a lot about you too," Logan said bitterly, his bad attitude hanging on every syllable of every word that came from his mouth. Stella's face immediately changed to one of concern and upset, looking at how Logan seethed at her. James, even though he sort of agreed with Logan, was surprised by the smart boy's words and Carlos, who had taken a liking to Stella seemed a bit offended by the venom laced words. Stella immediately retreated back in her seat awkwardly, her blue eyes filled with fear and shame, like she had done something wrong. Stella hadn't had this much contact with people in so long, so while being quiet was not always her forte, she was only more outgoing and more friendly to anyone she came in contact with, especially someone who was so important to Kendall.

"I-I don't understand," Stella said to him, looking back at Kendall whose green eyes looked at Logan's with less anger, but more shame. How could Logan not be nice to the one girl who Kendall loved? He had told him all the wonderful things about her, how she had made his life so much better in every way possible. Kendall was aware that he had gone through stuff because of Stella, and that things weren't always perfect, but all that mattered to him was the end result. He had come to terms with the fact that he loved Stella, but he would have to let her go. Logan should've been a lot more polite to her, just as Carlos had been in the store.

"Logan," Kendall said softly, more upset than anything. Logan looked at how instantly Stella got more reserved and sad with her facial expressions, nearing Kendall more and more, feeling like she didn't belong. Logan's face said a thousand and one things to her about how she shouldn't be here. Instantly, all the things Stella had done came rushing back to her, and it was if her breath began to catch in her throat. Stella looked back at Kendall with a sigh, closing her blue eyes tightly and nodding softly to herself. She definitely understood what was happening now.

Stella had always been outgoing, very enthralled and intrigued by people. It was one of the reasons that she had reached out to Kendall that night on the Tregger's deck, wanting to know why he was crying. She was fascinated by other people's feelings, what they felt, how they felt, how they showed it. She wanted to know everything about what James and Logan were feeling, and she knew that negative feelings floated from them towards her. It was only natural. She had put Kendall through so much; she had divided the inseparable group of four through violence, and anger. It was as if her presence in Kendall's life inadvertently screwed up the other's lives in every way possible, therefore making them all suffer. As her thoughts consumed her mind more and more, Stella began to frown, looking at how her and Logan's understand of each other's facial expressions grew more and more specific, each of their minds beaconing what the other one felt.

"It's only fair, Kendall. I hurt you, many times. Your friends should be sticking up for you," she said softly to the blonde, gently pushing his bangs from his face with a reassuring smile. Kendall sighed and kissed her forehead gently, not saying anything but looking towards Logan with a sympathetic sigh. It was true. She had hurt him, she had kept him waiting for a letter that would never come, she'd cheated on him, and she'd made him spend nights crying over the fact that she wasn't there, and made his heart bleed from the inside out with pain and regret. "I'm sorry," she told James and Logan with soft, pink pursed lips in a frown.

Logan and James looked at each other, unsure of really what to say. Here Stella was apologizing, which she should've been, but they couldn't help but feel bad for the girl. They knew she really didn't know better as to have real understandings about social situations, or any past relationships to compare this one too. She had no idea that when you fuck over a guys best friend, they probably aren't going to like you, unless your incredibly sexy with a supermodel body, and then maybe James would wanna take you for himself. There something about Stella, something about the way her long fingers rested on Kendall's leg relaxed, or the way that she snuggled into him feeling protected that made Logan and James' hearts ache for the runaway who had capture their best friend's heart. Stella had never been loved, she had been beaten in the orphanages that she had been in, she had never had a real Christmas and she had been living on her own for several years.

"It's alright," James said softly, speaking his first words since the girl had arrived. Stella and Kendall looked at the boy with surprise, as Logan turned to his head to him in awe. Since when did James forgive so easily? "I don't understand you two, _whatsoever,_" he told them, flailing his finger at both of them with a sigh, Kendall and Stella just smiling, "but I'm done with trying to prove your love non-existent," he said quite confidently with a smile. "I don't care what you do, or how you feel, I just know that you're in love, and you know what, go be happy," James told them, as if he were a middle aged man giving advice to love struck teenagers. Kendall looked at James with a confused, absurd face, noticing the boy's nonchalant attitude, his phone beneath his fingers anxiously. Kendall raised an eyebrow at the boy and then looked back up at him with a chuckle.

"Alright anti-love I sleep with girls and don't have real relationships," Kendall mocked him, holding onto Stella tightly. Carlos, who still remained pretty quiet smiled a bit, his voice somber and sad from crying and remaining silent.

"Not anymore, Kendall. James has a girlfriend," he told him. Kendall's eyes went wide and he shot a look at James with a smile, his dimples deep and eyes shining.

"What? You have a girlfriend?" Kendall exclaimed softly as if it was the single most absurd thing in the entire world. James nodded quite happily and confidently, liking the new found attention towards him, even if it was for having a girlfriend.

"Yes I do. Well, technically not at the moment, but once we get back to LA, I am going to ask Lianna, and she's going to say yes," James said sitting back a bit on the plush chair, crossing his legs and tapping the pads of his fingers on his phone. Kendall scoffed in amazement, sitting back pulling Stella closer to him with a sigh and smile.

"Wow. I never thought I would see the day," Kendall said with a smile. James shrugged and looked at him with a sly grin.

"See it, K-Dawg," James told him powerfully.

Kendall's eyes then went back to Logan, who still seemed a bit unsure of Stella. But Logan being the logical person he was, decided that even though Stella had put Kendall through hell and back, he loved her, and she loved him. He also knew that Kendall wasn't going to listen to him even if he had a bullhorn and screamed his name into his ear standing five inches away from him. There was no point in hating Stella, because it wasn't going to change anything and because he really had no reason to hate her. If Kendall could _still_ love her after everything she had done, Logan could learn to like her, just like Carlos had, and like James was on his way.

Logan could learn to forgive her.

Just like he could learn to forgive his father.

He hadn't seen his dad since arriving home, but he knew his mother had told John that he was flying in. Logan knew that John wanted to talk to him, seeing as their last spurt on the phone had gone more than wrong. Logan was going to have to face his father sometime, and the fact that Carlos' dad was hanging onto his life by a thread, made him realize it all the more. Carlos had kept telling the brunette over and over that he was so glad that he was able to start to make amends with his dad before he was hurt. Logan knew that it was the only thing that kept Carlos somewhat sane, and somewhat unregretful about this whole debacle with his father, seeing as their amends had been slightly warped with the introduction of his father's girlfriend.

It was his father's fault he left them, it was his father's fault that he made Logan feel worthless, and it was his father's fault that his mother was so unhappy.

Except Logan couldn't really blame him for what happened between them since the separation.

It was Logan's doing how he refused to talk to his father. It was understandable why, but being so angry as to recite that his father didn't love him was far beyond Logan's spectrum of rational thinking and problem solving. Not talking to his father wasn't going to make him any less mad, or any happier. It was just going to make him miss everything they had more and more, and while he tried to push it out of his brain more and more, the love he had for his father just grew more and more with each passing day.

Logan was going to have to forgive, and wrap his head around his feelings as well as understanding his father, and Kendall and Stella were no different.

"It's very nice to meet you, Stella," Logan said after taking a deep breath, James and Carlos looking at the boy like he was a completely different person.

"Nice to meet you too, Logan," Stella said with a small smile, Kendall nodding his head at his best friend. Logan eased back into his chair and James decided that now, seeing as the tension had decreased in the stuffy waiting room, was his time to talk.

"So are you guys like together, or what?" James asked with a small smile, Carlos' eyes directing towards the couple. Stella and Kendall looked at each other the same way they looked at each other when they had reunited yesterday. That look of pure love and want, like nothing in the world could ever as be as amazing as each other's eyes. Logan, James and Carlos all saw it, as the corners of their mouths fell, but their eyes smiled. Stella ducked her head a bit and grabbed onto Kendall tightly as if he was falling from her in that moment.

"We're gonna go our separate ways tomorrow," Kendall told James, with a bit of heaviness in his throat. He squeezed Stella's hand tightly and gave a small chuckle as James raised an eyebrow and Logan moved forward with a perched lip.

"Come again?" he asked, as if the words hadn't just come out of Kendall's mouth. Kendall sighed deeply at his friends.

"Stella's going back up to Thief River Falls tomorrow," Kendall told them somberly, the blonde next to him smiling sadly.

"But why?" Carlos asked her confused, interjecting with a bit of anxiousness in his voice. "Why don't you just stay with Kendall and us? You can live with us in 2J," Carlos whined out to her, acting as if he were a little kid not wanting a rarely seen relative to walk out of the house late Christmas Eve.

"I can't live with you guys, and it's so much more than that," Stella told the group sadly. "I love Kendall, but we're not right for each other," she said swallowing hard, trying her best to keep the tears in her eyes. She hated admitting the fact that she and the love of her life weren't right for each other, but it was true. Stella wasn't about to go mess up and her Kendall's lives for something as strong as love, when it would hurt them so greatly in the end. They would end up like Logan's parents, or Carlos's parents, where love fades out and things go awry. A relationship is more than love, and both Kendall and Stella had begun to see that. "It wouldn't work, and we know that," she told them, looking up at the green eyes with a smile. Kendall smiled back at her and chuckled, giving her a kiss on the forehead as she sighed deeply, inhaling his wonderful scent for what could've been taken as the last time she would ever be near him.

"Why do you think that?" Logan asked inquisitively, wanting to know where things had gone somewhat wrong between them. He was surprised that Kendall hadn't announced he and Stella were eloping somewhere.

"I thought you guys were 'meant for each other'," James said with air quotes and a smile on his face, obviously mocking Kendall's earlier comments about him and Stella. Carlos smirked a bit, his face then returning to its straight, expressionless appearance as he waited for Kendall's answer.

Kendall took a deep breath, knowing this was going to be hard to explain. The idea that sis father had sent Stella to him, he believed. The fact that Stella and him were made for each other was something Kendall wasn't all on board with. There had to be a reason she was up there on the deck that night, there had to be a reason they were so drawn towards each other, there had to be a reason they had kissed so easily within minutes of meeting one another. It wasn't luck, it wasn't chance. It was fate.

Kendall's father had sent Stella so his son would hold on to true love.

Kristopher Knight was more than aware of the Garcia's angry relationship, the Diamond's lovey-dovey relationship, and the Mitchell's lackluster relationship. Kristopher Knight had heard Carlos talk about his parents and their fighting, he had heard stories from Kendall about how James conquered the entire school population of girls, believing girls ruined dreams of being famous, and he had also heard Logan complain every first day of school of how annoying it was that every old teacher he had asked if he was Kelly and Johnny's son. He had seen Kendall doubt love at times, but had always tried his best to show his son a loving relationship. Kristopher Knight loved his wife, and his son and daughter more than life itself.

When he was taken, he decided to make sure his values were instilled in his children.

He saw how Kendall was hurting, how torn he was at the seams. How he was becoming bitter to everyone around him, Katie, Kim, Carlos, Logan, James. Kris then decided to send his son a present from above, to give him his own gift of love, so he could understand it. Here Kendall was, a sixteen year old boy without a father, without someone to love, without loving parents to look up to. Here he was, with an incredible singing voice, something he couldn't hide any longer.

Kris wanted to give Kendall everything he could to make his son grow up on his own terms, successfully and intelligently.

"We were meant to love…" Kendall told them. "It just wasn't meant to last." James, Carlos and Logan looked at the pained couple as Kendall took a deep sigh and beamed down at Stella, the two locking eyes. He turned to his friends again and licked his lips awkwardly. "She's leaving tomorrow, and we'll both go on with our own lives," Kendall said matter-of-factly. Carlos, James and Logan looked very confused, and James put up a hand awkwardly, not even knowing where to being.

"So you're telling me, you guys are so incredibly in love with each other, and you think you were meant to love, but you are just gonna give up, and not be with each other?" he asked confused, as if the thought that all of this work Kendall had put into finding Stella and being with her was all gone.

"I guess that sounds right," Kendall told him looking at Stella. James shook his head a bit and bit his lower lip, raising an eyebrow. He didn't understand how Kendall was so headstrong about Stella, and loving her, and had dreams about marrying her and now he was just going to throw it all away. James was learning that love was work, love was sacrifices, love was something beautiful that he could have someday. And here sat Kendall and Stella, together as they could've been at the moment, planning to give up tomorrow and leave it all behind.

"Okay, I don't get it. At all," he told them, settling back in his chair as Logan chimed in, rolling his eyes.

"We're not supposed to, James," Logan said, turning to Kendall and Stella with a small, knowing smile. "That's the point."

"Exactly," Kendall told Logan softly, smiling at his best friend, and looking at the love of his life.

* * *

Logan nervously sat on the edge of his living room couch, twiddling his thumbs. Sweat had begun to form at the back of his neck right under his freshly shaven hair line. Kelley leaned on the wall next to him, watching as her son nervously contemplated his decision to call her ex-husband.

Logan had gotten back from the hospital an hour ago, after Carlos sent all the guys home, seeing as his father's condition didn't worsen or get better, and he saw that they all needed sleep. James was beginning to mumble 'Big Time Rush' in his sleep, a trickle of saliva falling down his chin. Carlos also knew that this was Stella and Kendall's last day together, and them sitting there in the hospital wasn't the way they wanted to spend it. Of course Kendall had contested they stay for him, but with Marta coming out and joining Carlos, as well as Gabriela, the boy felt it was time for his friends to go home. They had been there for more than several hours, and seeing as they didn't have much time to be in Minnesota, Carlos knew they wanted to spend some time with their families.

James had gone home to spend some time with his dad, seeing as only his mother had been home when his plane landed. Kendall and Stella had gone to the Knight house, and truthfully no one had any idea what was going on there between Kendall, Stella, Katie and Kim. Carlos remained at the hospital with his mother and his father's girlfriend, who he had actually taken a liking to. Gabriela was very sweet, and tried her best to keep her comforting level of Carlos down to an appropriate range, not wanting to get too involved. Gabriela herself was a mess of tears, almost as much as he and his mother, and Marta didn't seem to have too much of a problem with the woman, seeing as she and Peter had been divorced for almost decade now.

Logan had called John himself just an hour ago, telling him that he wanted to talk to him. John was nothing less than surprised from hearing his son's voice on the other line. He knew Logan was getting into Minnesota today, and he was hoping to at least hear from him, but when Logan told his father to come over to the house to talk, John was bewildered. The last time they had talked, Logan had to have his iPhone replaced by Gustavo, seeing as that the crack in the screen had messed up with the entire calibration of the technology.

"You nervous?" Kelley asked her son, who hadn't really said a word since calling John twenty minutes ago. He had done it almost the second he walked into the house, on some type of power spree he had, where everything was done without question.

Logan sighed deeply. Nervous was an understatement. He was going to have to make peace with his father, and somehow push every single negative thought of him out of his head for a few days. He had to understand without letting his emotions get to the best of him. He was allowed to be angry with John, but he could no longer keep convincing himself that his father didn't love him.

Logan knew that wasn't true.

"I guess," Logan said dryly, biting his lower lip with a sigh. Kelley smiled and rested a hang on her son's back, which rose and fell heavily due to his tired, nervous breaths. "More anxious, you know?" he told her.

"You'll be fine, baby. And I'll be right upstairs, alright?" she told him. Logan looked up at her and smiled, seeing her beautiful grin spread across her face brightly, happy to see her son and his father somewhat reconciling. Kelley Mitchell was just happier about everything lately.

A slam of a car door, louder than usual, interrupted both Kelley and Logan's thoughts, as they blinked and looked at each other with a sigh, knowing exactly who it was. Logan arched his head to look out the window, and against the lights that lined the path up to the Mitchell's house, he saw his father walk up to the front door. Logan looked at his mom and nodded, motioning her upstairs with his eyes as she nodded. Before leaving, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Remember what I said," she told him in a whisper, Logan nodding before she scurried upstairs, wanting to give the two men privacy.

There was an abrupt knock on the door and Logan stood up with shaky legs, running a hand through his hair. He made his way over to the door and stood at it nervously, trying to get every bad thought of his head. All he had to do was make things right with his father. It would definitely take time for their relationship to heal. John wasn't going to walk out of here World's Best Daddy, and there certainly wouldn't be a "I'll call you as soon as I get back to LA, Dad," from Logan, but they could begin their path of amends tonight. That's all Logan wanted, and it's all John wanted.

Logan opened the door and saw his father standing there, looking miserable as ever. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, his eyes red and pained. Thick bags of skin hung under them, aging him about ten years, as he sighed, looking at his young, beautiful son with upset and shame.

"Hi, Logan," John said awkwardly.

"Hi…," Logan said unsure of what to call his father. Dad? Father? John? Logan kept it as a simple open ended hello, as John stood there in the night, shifting on his feet side to side.

"Can I…come in?" he asked. Logan nodded and stepped aside, opening the door for his father as he walked into the house. Logan saw how his shoulders were slumped, and his footsteps broad, just like they were every time he walked into the house from work. Logan was instantly brought back to countless times when he was little, running down the stairs to the front door and attaching to his father's leg, so happy for him to be home safe. He instantly shook the memory from his head and bit his lower lip, closing the door behind the chilly night, and turning to the man who stood in the living room like a stranger.

"Where's your mother?" John asked shyly, wondering if Kelley would be present for their talk.

"Upstairs," Logan responded curtly, swallowing hard and taking a few minutes to look at his father. John had never seemed as uncomfortable in his own skin as he was now. He kept his limbs to himself as if he was in the narrowest of glass boxes, and his face was stoic and expressionless. Logan touched his face nervously and cleared his throat.

"You…you can sit," Logan said, motioning to the couch. John nodded and took a seat on the white couch, sitting there tightly, and one seat over from his usual spot where he would sit with Kelley, talking about their days at work and at home.

"Thanks," John said with a sigh. Logan sat next to his father and looked down at the glass table in front of him, wondering if this was even a good idea. What was he going to say to his father? How were things ever going to get back to normal with them? A million questions whizzed in Logan's brain before he closed his eyes, and tried his best not to let his emotions get the best of him.

"I'm sorry about what happened the last time we spoke to each other," Logan said outright, staring into his father's eyes. John looked very taken aback by the declaration of his son and let out a small chuckle of disbelief.

"Son, I don't—" he began to say but Logan cut him off, knowing that he just needed to get everything out in one sitting.

"Let me talk," he told his father sternly, John nodding, knowing that Logan earned the right to lead the conversation. He took a deep sigh and continued, trying to be his calmest and strongest.

"I'm sorry. I overreacted, but I was still angry," he told John. John nodded and kept his mouth shut. "I still am angry. I'm very angry, and I have every right to be. You left me and mom for another family," Logan said, his voice beginning to catch in his throat a bit. He felt like exploding into tears, but he didn't want to seem weakened in front of John like he had so many times before. "It hurts, it does. It hurts a lot that you chose them, but I can't do anything about it. You made your choice, and even if you think it was a mistake, it doesn't matter," Logan told him angrily and sadly, watching as John's entire face fell with each word he said. "It's done," he told his father, trying his hardest to hold back the tears in his eyes. All was silent as Logan took a deep shaky breath, looking up at his father sadly. "I don't even care why. I don't care of any excuses or reasons," he told him. John spoke up, not being able to take it anymore.

"Can I talk?" he asked his son. Logan nodded, knowing that if he said anymore right now, it would just be replay of their phone conversation. "What I did was wrong. I'll be the first one to admit it, Logan. I shouldn't have had a relationship with a woman and a relationship with her children while I had a wife and son back here. It was wrong of me. I was selfish. You're right, there are no excuses for it," John told his son with a strong, heavy voice, his own emotions beginning to creep up. "I can't change my mistakes, son. I can't change the things I did wrong. Your mother and I should've sat you down, and explained to you that things weren't working out between us," John told him. "I was unhappy with your mother, she was unhappy with me," he sighed, "but you're right. It was no excuse for me to have a relationship with another woman while I was still here," John admitted, his voice shaky. He looked at his son's brown eyes and how they looked disappointed and saddened by the entire situation. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you so much," he swallowed, "but I really hope that you know that I love you, Logan. You're my son, and not anyone or anything will _ever_ change that," John finished up, watching a small tear fall down his son's face.

Logan wiped it away ashamed that his father's words had made him cry. He was supposed to be strong, for both himself and his mother. He didn't want John to weasel his way back into their lives so easily, as divorce proceedings went forward and Logan went back to Los Angeles.

"And I know earlier on, that your mom had mentioned to me that you wanted her to have full custody of you. And if that's still your choice, I respect it. You're sixteen, you are old enough to make your own decisions," John told him lowly. "And I'm not trying to pity you into anything, alright? You're a smart boy, and whatever works for you, works for me," he added on, making sure his son knew his good intentions. Logan nodded at his father and looked down at his fingers with a sigh. His father was trying to make this as easy as he possibly could on him. Now it was his turn to apologize.

"I'm sorry I kept starting up things with you," Logan told him ashamed. He closed his eyes and tried his hardest to remember the horrible situation he had been in when John had started to talk about visiting, but then Logan remembered John's sincere face and words just seconds earlier. "I know you still love me, I knew you still loved me then too, I just thought it'd be easier if I detached myself from you. It was easier to get angry with you, and easier not to miss you, but I was wrong," Logan whispered out softly, looking up at his father with sad, hooded eyes. "But then I look at Carlos and his father, and Kendall and his father. Kendall's father was taken away from him, and Carlos' dad, who knows if he'll make it," Logan whispered to himself, looking down. "Who knows if you'll even be here tomorrow?" he told his father, arching his head back up, his stare locked on his father's sullen face. "There is no point in fighting anymore, no point in hating you," Logan told him shaking his head in disbelief, "and I'm sorry I'm only seeing that now."

"It's alright. I deserved it after what I did, truly. I'm lucky you're speaking to me right now," John told his son with a slight chuckle. "I'm lucky that you even want to look at me after the hurt I've caused you and your mother the past few months," he told him from the bottom of his heart.

"So I guess we're kinda even?" Logan joked out, trying his best to cut the dramatic tensions. John looked at Logan sincerely.

"We'll never be even, Son. The hurt I caused you could never be compared to anything you could possibly do to me," he explained to him. "Remember that, alright? As much as I want to be in your life again, hopefully like I was before, if you aren't happy with me in it, I'll respect that," he said stately, trying his hardest to mask the emotions on his face. He didn't want to pity his son with tears, especially since he knew Logan would pick up on it. I just want you to be happy, Logan. That's something that me and your mother agree on no matter what," he finished with a small smile.

There was an awkward silence, and Kelley could be heard shuffling upstairs, running water to clean the upstairs bathroom. Both Logan and John chuckled, knowing that Kelley was a neat freak, and that she cleaned every chance she could possibly get. It was one of the things John had loved about her. It was a simple chuckle, a simple moment, but it meant both the world to Logan and John. It was the first small step to them working as a team again. A few moments of silence later, John spoke again.

"Is that all you wanted to say to me?" John asked his son awkwardly. Logan locked eyes with his father, seeing the absolute regret and tension between them. He wanted nothing more than to be able to hug his dad, and tell him how much he missed him. He wanted to tell him the story of Kendall and Stella. He wanted him to promise he'd always be around for Logan, even when he didn't want John there. But he couldn't. He wasn't ready for that type of interaction. Logan knew this was going a long journey to making things right with his father, and rebuilding the wall of a relationship that had crumbled several weeks ago. But it would happen eventually, and it would happen on Logan's terms.

"No," Logan said stoically. John took a deep breath, mentally bracing himself for what was about to come out of his son's mouth. He wondered if it was going to be a tangent about how Kelley was so much happier without him, or maybe it would be about talking to him next and how it would take time. Nothing Logan could say him to would be a surprise.

"I love you, dad. I always will."

Or at least that's what John thought.

* * *

They had said good-bye before.

Twice in fact.

The first time Kendall had left Thief River Falls, as well as the second time. Although the second time wasn't as much of a good-bye as it was a fight, left off with a searing slap in the face to Stella, that still haunted Kendall at times.

And now, here stood Kendall, Stella, Logan, James and Carlos at the bus stop of the Minnesota Bus Authority. It was cold for spring in Minnesota, and the bitter chill in the air reminded both Kendall and Stella of the days they had shared together in December. It was like the air had been mocking them since waking up early this morning, and driving Stella over to the bus depot.

Kim and Katie had gotten the full story from Stella last night, as they sat down to a home cooked meal of chicken noodle soup. Both female Knights were taken by surprise, as Stella told them the entire story of her and Kendall, of course leaving out the parts where they had gotten intimate, for both Katie and Kim's sake. She told them all about the General Store, all about the orphanage she had been abused in, all about Gina and John. She told them about her excursions in Cumberland, how she had "gotten into trouble" with Cooper, and how she had been drawn to the pond Kendall and Brian Tregger had been at the cold, snowy night. Stella felt it was best to be honest, seeing as that Kim couldn't hate her anymore than she probably had, seeing as Kendall had gone through so much with her, especially since she had taken her only son's virginity, putting the cherry on top of it all.

Kim had listened to the story, as well as Katie, who was so intrigued by all the stuff Stella and her brother had gone through that she had no idea about. The young girl was actually quite insulted about being left in the dark so long, quite embarrassed that she had been calling Stella Kasey this entire time. Stella however quickly boosted Katie back up, telling her the story of how she named herself after the stars, and that she didn't know her true name.

Kim looked at Stella with confused care. Here this girl was, making a mess out of her young son, who had _more_ than enough to worry about the past year. Kendall had been through hell and back, and it was all thanks to this blonde that Kendall claimed Kris had sent him. She had seen him cry, seen him fight, seen him go against his friends and family and seen him at his lowest. However, Kim couldn't deny the feelings she saw between the couple. On Christmas Eve, the looks they sent each other, the gentle comforting touches and the soft words spoken after only just hours together seemed like they had spent a lifetime together. It reminded Kim of her and Kris. It was a secret, strong willed bond that no one else in the world could possibly understand, no matter how hard they tried. It was something Kim was more than glad her son had experienced in his lifetime, knowing that not everyone found it, and that single fact ruled over everything Kendall had been through.

It was all a part of growing up. Knowing who your true friends are, losing love, making love, coming to terms with something beyond your control. Kim had just wished it all didn't come at one time for her son. But Kendall could handle it. Kendall did handle it, just like Kim knew he could.

It was a long, awkward conversation but it ended with Kim taking a deep breath, and agreeing that Stella should go back to Thief River Falls, but not without money or somewhere to stay. Kim had graciously offered her five hundred dollars out of some money the band had made recently that was given as Kendall's share, and had suggested she could make some calls to local shelters that would help her, seeing that she was only sixteen. However now knowing her past, Kim wasn't surprised when she refused the help as well as the money. Stella had told the woman she'd be fine on her own, without any help from anyone. After a short argument with Kendall about this, Stella eventually took two-hundred and fifty dollars from Kim, knowing it would put Kim and Kendall a little more at peace. Kim had even offered Stella to stay with them a bit longer, but both Kendall and her had made the decision to part ways days ago, and had been mentally preparing since then. It would be too easy that way, and harder to let go in the end, and neither of them wanted that.

So here they stood, early in the morning with Stella, waiting for her bus to come to drive her off the Thief River Falls. The five of them stood their talking quite animatedly for the past twenty minutes. It seemed that once Logan and James forgave Stella like Carlos and Kendall did, they really enjoyed talking to her. Kendall looked on at his almost girlfriend talking to his best friend's and smiled widely, wishing that she'd be there to stay. It was something Kendall had always dreamed of, seeing Stella and them interact.

She was talking to the boys about something that had happened with Kendall in Thief River Falls the first week they were there, how when she as posing as Kacey, and she kissed Kendall in front of Bryan, Stephen, Alex and Jake. Kendall couldn't hear the story all the well, his attention more on how the three boys reacted to her.

Stella's hands animatedly motioned to Kendall every so often, a smile on her face, her hair beautifully swept up, her face healthy, and her fingernails cut and cleaned thanks to his mother. She giggled every so often explaining to the boys the situation, and Kendall looked at their reactions.

Carlos leaned against a center pole in the depot, his head leaning back on the pole as he laughed hysterically about Stella's story. It was good to see Carlos laugh. His father's condition was slowly getting better, Peter being a fighter, and he was now officially out of the red zone. Carlos had found out last night, and his father was taken off the breathing machine he had put on for his final days. The Latino had hugged his father's weak and limp body tightly as he took a few breaths, and cried hysterically in his arms. It had happened shortly after the boys left the hospital last night, but Carlos made sure to shoot a text to all of them. It definitely gave Logan, James and Kendall a breather, knowing that everything was going to be alright, that it was just going to take some time. The boys were planning on shooting over to the hospital as soon as Stella got on the bus. Carlos grabbed at his stomach in glee as Stella described the faces of Jake, Bryan, Stephen and Alex when she had kissed Kendall in the general store.

Kendall's attention then turned to James who sat next to Carlos on the floor, with his cell phone in his hand, beaming up at the blonde with wide eyes. He couldn't _believe_ what he was hearing about Kendall and Stella, and found it increasingly interesting that they had almost "snuck around" in a sense. He agreed with the shock of the other boys back in Thief River Falls, although his attention was sort of elsewhere. His cell phone vibrated under his touch, and Kendall smiled as James opened a text message. The boy's face instantly curled into a gleeful grin upon seeing the message, Kendall just _knowing_ it was from Lianna. James had become absolutely smitten with her the past few days, and he was more than happy that James was on his way to having a fully functional relationship.

And then there was Logan. He stood there with his arms crossed against his chest quite relaxed, and his foot extended out beneath him so he was standing cock-eyed. He had a genuine smile on his face, his small almond eyes curled up at the corners, his tongue licking his teeth with amusement as it had anytime Camille rehearsed her lines with him, showing his true interest in the story. Kendall noticed how Logan's shoulders were relaxed, his body showing no signs of tension at all. Logan had sent a quick text to the guys after his talk with his father about it, but hadn't gone into details about it. He'd figured he'd tell them later, seeing as Stella leaving was very important to Kendall, and all of them at the moment. It was if Logan's entire, bitter demeanor changed as he laughed with Stella like she was an old friend from a past life, and it made Kendall incredibly happy to see it.

This is what he had been waiting for.

Kendall stood with his arms across his chest, his big, thick brows furrowed as he leaned on the wall next to Stella who was still talking like she wasn't leaving him. Kendall glanced down at her golden blonde hair, and how beautiful it looked off of her face. He instantly thought back to Christmas time, the only time he had really seen her dressed up, and how absolutely wonderful she looked in that sweater and jeans, smiling back at him like he was the best thing in the world. That was only a few days after meeting her. Kendall didn't know how he could ever leave Stella after a week, wondering how it was going to be leaving her after six long months.

He thought back to Stella's good-bye at the house this morning, how Katie had hugged her tightly and told her she was going to miss her, even though they didn't talk that much. The fact that Katie had an older woman, besides her mother, to look up to and talk to made the girl happy, and now with Stella leaving, she felt a bit sad about it. It also didn't help that this week had been an emotional rollercoaster for all of the Knights due to Peter's condition as well. Kim had given Stella a hug, and whispered a soft "thank you" in her hair, for what Kendall had no idea about. Stella knew though, and so did Kim, which was all that mattered to the two girls.

Kendall nervously arched his head to see the big clock in the middle of the station, cringing when it said 9:56. Stella's bus ticket was for 10. He let out a deep breath as the blonde just kept entertaining his friends, knowing that after this conversation, he was going to have to say good-bye. The buses usually came on time, and only gave two minutes or so to be loaded. Kendall could easily distract Stella in a kiss or a long-felt apology and make her wait for the 10:30 bus, but that wouldn't be helping anyone.

Knowing that the bus would be here soon, Kendall gently extended his hand to her shoulder, and squeezed it gently, feeling the warmth radiate from her body. Stella stopped laughing and turned around to see her boyfriend's broken face, his green translucent eyes, and sad frown. Her canvas bag lay at her feet, with Kendall's blue cardigan still at the bottom of it, freshly washed and sprayed with some his cologne. Carlos, James and Logan all stood up straight and walked a few steps over to the couple as they stared in each other's eyes.

"We're gonna uh…go back to the car, alright?" James said awkwardly, wanting to give the two lovers sometime alone. Kendall gave them a chuckle and sighed shaking his head no.

"No, you guys can stay. This won't be long," he told them, Stella nodding in agreeance. Neither love wanted to make this some teary eyed good-bye that was going to end like it did in the movies. They wanted it simple. While they knew it was going to be devastating to them, they had both accepted the fact that it had to happen, and in time, everything would return back to the way it was before.

James, Logan, and Carlos all stood a bit off the side, talking in low whispers, watching as the good-byes began, and the clock struck 9:57.

"Do we have anything left to say to each other before you go?" he asked her, slipping his hands around her waist and holding her close. Stella's hands rested on Kendall's arms, feeling the physical closeness of his body with a smile. It was going to be the last time _ever_ that she wrapped her hands up in Kendall Knight, the last time she was ever going to see him in front of her with those eyes, the last time she was going to get to kiss his lips.

And then suddenly, it all came crashing down her.

This was the reason why she didn't want to love in the first place.

Tears began to sprout from her eyes as she was silent, gripping Kendall's arms tightly as she began to breathe heavily. They were leaving each other, just like they had all the other times, except this was permanent. There would be no more Kendall Knight, no more comforting hugs and kisses, no more nights of passion, and it scared Stella. She had been so accustomed to it, and love, that losing it was no more devastating than ever.

"This was the reason I didn't want to get involved," Stella whispered out with a small chuckle, a small tear falling from her left eye, down her rouged cheek. Her lips thinned and Kendall gently wiped the tear away with a smile on his face, taking a deep breath. "It's so hard to say good-bye," she said. "Especially to the only person who has ever loved me."

Kendall squeezed her waist gently, feeling tears prick his own eyes as people began to move more towards the track of the bus. He looked up at the crowds beginning to go over there, and his heart beat fast. He didn't want to have to say good-bye, but he knew it was no use.

"I do love you Stella, and I wish we were going to work out, but we're not. I love you enough to let you go," he told her with a small smile. "And as messed up as that sounds, I'm doing this cause I love you so much," he whispered out with a weak raspy voice, tears flooding his eyes. Stella let out a small chuckle as more tears snuck out from her eyes, her hand tightly squeezing Kendall's arm.

"I know," she told him softly. "It's the best thing for both of us."

"Exactly," Kendall said nodding, trying his best to smile the tears harboring in his eyes away. She sighed deeply, as Kendall reached down and picked up her canvas bag, slowly fastening it around her neck, touching the soft skin of her neck delicately, his hands slowly moving down the sleeves of the same blue sweater she wore when they met.

"You're the love of my life, Stella. And I'll never forget you, I promise," Kendall told her. "You were the best and worst thing to ever happen to me." Stella let out a soft laugh, leaning more into him as he took his thumb and wiped her few tears away.

"I'm flattered, really," she told him, leaning against his chest. Kendall leaned his chin on the top of her head, rubbing her back up and down with a sigh, his arms enveloping the blonde one last time before she had to go. There was a moment of silence, where Kendall could swear everything stopped, the world allowing the two lovers to have their final good-bye. They parted as the clock struck 9:58 and the horns of the bus were heard coming into the station, just a minute away from leaving each other.

"Do you have everything? The money my mother gave you? All your stuff?" Kendall asked her with a soft, voice, clearing his throat of the tears. Stella nodded, fastening her canvas bag on her shoulder as she looked up at him with a smile, her eyes red from soft tears.

"Oh! I almost forgot," Kendall said nervously, reaching into his pocket for a crumpled up piece of paper. He softly undid it with shaking hands, and looked at it before looking at Stella. He extended it out to her with a smile and sighed deeply. "Your Christmas present," he told her. Stella looked at him in awe, and gently took the paper from his hands, looking at the smudged chords and the nameless song he had wrote for her so many months ago. "I want you to have it."

Stella nodded no, and took a deep sigh. She wanted Kendall to have this, and to make it the song that Carlos had told her about in the grocery store. He deserved this more than she did. "No. I have the letter you wrote me, Kendall. And I know the song by heart already, why don't you keep this," she told him, "please." Kendall looked down at the wrinkled, crumpled, smudged song which was in the worst condition imaginable.

"A-are you sure?" he asked her. Stella nodded and touched his hand softly.

"I want you to have something to remember me by," she told him. Kendall looked at her a bit confused and swallowed hard, trying to keep back tears.

"But, these are my words, not yours," he whispered out softly. Stella took the paper back from him and turned to Logan, with a few salty tears falling down her face.

"Logan, do you have a pen?" she asked him rushedly. The smart boy nodded and immediately dug into his pocket for the pen he always kept there, along with his mini calculator keychain. He handed it to Stella and then stepped back besides James and Carlos. Stella, with shaking hands, leaned the paper up against the wall and quickly wrote something on the top of it, not pausing her hand to even figure out what to write. She then folded it in half as the clock struck 9:59, and the 406 bus pulled into the depot, and opened its doors.

Stella handed the paper back to Kendall and smiled. "You can't look at it until I'm on the bus," she told him, handing the pen back to Logan. Kendall nodded and looked up at the people getting on the bus and then back at Stella. He felt like bursting into tears at that moment, but he knew he had to be strong. He moved closer to the blonde, and gently swept his arms around her waist, her hands at his arms like they had initially been.

"I guess this is good-bye," Kendall told her, watching as she blinked her eyes, and tears began to pour out. Kendall sniffled a bit, biting his lower lip and looking up past her at the bus, a long line of people loading into it, trying his best not to cry. He then looked back down at Stella as she smiled through the tears.

"I love you, Kendall," Stella told him in a raspy voice. "And thank you for loving me back." Kendall then did the one thing he thought he'd never ever really have to do. He kissed Stella good-bye…for good.

His lips moved against hers effortlessly, her grip on his arms tight his grip on her waist soft, as their lips moved in sync for the last time. Kendall kept the kiss soft and sweet, not wanting to ruin the moment by being to aggressive as they parted softly, and leaned their foreheads against each other, breathing heavily.

"I h-have to go now," Stella told him in a crying whisper. Kendall nodded, and it seemed to go in slow motion as he let go of Stella's waist and she smiled one last smile back at him. She waved a good-bye to Logan, Carlos and James with a smile, and then took one last look back at Kendall. She brought up her hand to wave him good-bye and he did the same as she turned around with her head hung and made her way onto the bus. Kendall could see her blonde hair sit down, as the door's closed, and the bus slowly pulled away from them.

Kendall stood there in the busy bus depot, clutching his song in his hands tightly, his eyes still locked on the path that the bus had followed. He stuck it deep into his pocket, not wanting to read it right now as Logan, James and Carlos all walked towards Kendall with a sigh, James putting his arm on the boy's shoulder.

"You okay, man?" James asked him, Kendall looking at his friends, who definitely seem touched by the good-bye. He sighed deeply and shrugged, thinning his lips out as he swallowed his last sob.

"Let's just go," he said with a small, painful smile, as the four boys, with their arms around each other made their way out of the bus depot, to the hospital.

* * *

Sixteen year old Kendall Knight sat on his bed, his hair mussed, his lips dry and his heart broken. It was nearly 10 PM at night, and Stella had been gone for twelve hours. He sat back on his pillows, the window near him giving him a bit of light as he reached into his pants pocket. He had tried all day to read what Stella had wrote for him before she left, but he couldn't do it, especially not in front of his friends, or in front of his family. He didn't know how he would react to all of it. Would he cry? Would he laugh? Would he be angry? Would he be miserable?

He hadn't really gotten a free moment all day, since everyone in his life was doing their best not to leave him alone and cheer him up. Kendall held the crumpled up song in his hands, and gently began to undo the folds, as if the paper were made of glass. He took a deep breath and smoothed out the paper, looking at the bubbly handwriting on top, which was definitely Stella's. He had never seen her penmanship before, but as he looked at it, it described her perfectly. Loose loops for o's and a's with straight hard lines for l's and t's. Kendall began to read the short three lines of text, holding onto the paper with all his might.

_Kendall,_

_I know that you think this was just a Christmas present, but I'd love to hear this on the radio sometime. Ask the guys what they think about it, you might be surprised. And you're right, Two is Better Than One.  
All my love,  
Stella._

Kendall smiled at the message and gripped the paper tighter, as he looked down a few lines and saw the big, bold print that Stella had christened the song with, naming it to her own liking.

_Two Is Better Than One  
Written and Performed by Kendall Knight_

Kendall smiled widely and eased his head back with a laugh, loving how that even though she wasn't here right now, she could still make Kendall happier than beyond his wildest dreams. He sat up on his bed and looked out the window, seeing the dark black sky illuminated by a trail of stars, heading up north behind the green mountains of Minnesota.

"Two is better than one," Kendall muttered to himself with a smile, closing his eyes with a sigh, and letting his heart be at peace. "Damn right it is."


	33. Epilogue

**This is really it :/**

* * *

_Epilogue_

"Your dad is dancing like a complete ass, Carlos."

"Whatever, it's his wedding day. Let him dance like he wants to."

Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan sat around the crème colored table cloths in the back of The Esquire Catering Hall, the same place where Kelley and John Mitchell had gotten married years ago. Gabriela and Peter had picked a crème and peach colored theme for their small wedding, small little potted peach trees dangling with fake diamonds as a centerpiece. Peach colored satin napkins poised in the center of white china plates with small mint leaves on either side. One had to admit, for such a small and tiny wedding, the decorations were impeccable, thanks to Gabriela of course.

It had been four years since Carlos' father had been shot in the line of duty, four years since the boy had met Gabriela and her son. When Carlos had thought he was going to lose his father, his entire world seemed to crash down on top of him, but Peter Garcia fought through, just like everyone said he would. Only a few days after being shot, he awoke from his coma at two in the morning, immediately asking the first person by his side to see his son.

Carlos didn't mind Gabi, and surprisingly neither did Marta. In the past few years, Carlos had actually grown accustomed to the woman that had made Carlos' dad a better man. She was sweet and kind, she always had a smile on her face, and she respected his mother in immense amounts. She always had Carlos' best interests in mind as well as Peter's, and the boy couldn't be more thankful after learning that she was the one who had ultimately pushed Peter to admit his mistakes. Gabi had refused to be acknowledged and introduced to Peter's son unless he had admitted his faults, knowing how miserable the man was with he and his son's relationship.

The past four years had been all about Carlos and his dad getting back to square one, where they had been before things between Peter and Marta got bad. Luckily, within time, and after almost losing each other, Carlos and Peter were the model father and son, knowing that without each other they would be nothing. Sure at times they got at each other's throats, or there would be awkward moments when something that happened reminded them of their time apart, or a fight between Marta and Peter, but things blew over easily. Carlos needed his father, and Peter needed his son. And now, here they were, able to rejoice and celebrate with one another. Peter was happy with his new wife, and Carlos couldn't be more thrilled than to have a step-mom to make his dad happy.

"Carlos, look at him," Logan said with a chuckle, tilting his chin to the dance floor. Peter was dancing around Gabi, decked out in a beautiful crème party dress with peach satin ribbon around the waist, who was laughing at her new husband, a smile creating soft wrinkles on her delicate but aged face. Her hair fell freely down her back in curls, her strong hands touching the shoulders of Peter's white sports jacket. Carlos smiled at his father and new step-mom, looking at how incredibly happy they looked with each other. Carlos had seen that look of pure, uninterrupted love before. About four years ago. "There is no excuse for that," Logan added in, securing an arm around Camille with a smile, as she snuggled into him with a chuckle.

Logan and Camille had still been going strong, after being completely on and off for a matter of a year, right when the boys and Big Time Rush hit it big. The brunette had captured Logan's heart from the first day he saw her grace the Palm Woods lobby with her awkward way of walking, crooked smile, birthmark above her upper lip and animated acting methods. She was loud, abrasive, determined, a go-getter and absolutely everything Logan was not. That was why they fit so perfect together. All the boys saw that the two were madly in love and that no matter how many times they could possibly break it off due to jealousy, or stupidity, that they completed each other in ways beyond explanation. Many of them joked that Logan had never had luck with girls as a teenager because Camille was supposed to be his one and only.

"Oh, and I supposed your dad doesn't dance the same way?" Carlos shot back affirmatively with a smirk. Logan laughed and nodded his head no with a smile on his face.

Logan and John had gone a long way the past four years. After Logan and him talked that night, things seemed to go perfectly fine the next few months. John visited from New York, where he moved to live with Tina Marie, every month and followed the divorce proceedings without any contest. Seeing as John was in New York, Kelley was granted full custody, with John being able to visit anytime he wanted to.

However on particular visit the following Spring, John announced that he and Tina Maria were getting married…and that they were expecting. All of Logan's old feelings that his father didn't love him, and that he was trying to replace him with her kids flooded back, and he remained distant from John for a month or two after that announcement. John had asked his son to be the best man at his wedding, but Logan had refused with a simple phone call, not being able to handle it. Eventually, a few weeks went without calling, or texting, or visiting, and Logan eventually cooled off. The day his half brother, Gregory Vale, was born, Logan actually smiled at the small picture his father had sent him via text. Logan had never had a sibling before, and even though Gregory was half Tina Marie's, he still found the baby absolutely beautiful and intriguing. It was then that he decided he _wanted_ to know this new life, he wanted to know something that made his father happy. He knew it would be hard, probably the hardest thing he would have to do, but he knew he'd be able to handle it. And so with that, Logan had spent the past two years working up the courage and strength to be able to hold his half-brother in his arms, and be alright with it.

"My dad doesn't dance, please. Look at him," Logan said, motioning his chin to his father, sitting with Jason Diamond and Lucie, looking a bit pained as he laughed with James' parents. Logan knew that his father was probably looking around the room, remembering him and Kelley's wedding. Logan's mother had been single and loving it for the past four years. She had brought home dates over the time span, and Logan even got to meet a few of them, as he grew in height and strength making sure that no one would ever hurt his mother like his father did. Nothing had been serious though, and Kelley, who sat across the room at a different table talking to Mrs. Knight seemed as content and happy as could be, not even making a second glance at the familiar catering hall.

"You guys are horrible, leave Carlos' dad alone," Bridget spoke out with a giggle, James fastening his arm around his brunette girlfriend.

James and Lianna had broken up after a year together, with both of them being too busy for their own good. Lianna had landed a role in a popular show in New York City, playing the new lead, and Big Time Rush continued to prosper in touring as well as publicity. Neither teen minded the success, but the time spent apart was way too much for them to handle, not even having the chance to sit down and have a conversation anymore.

And like James had said from the beginning, he wasn't going to let love get in the way of his success, or more importantly Lianna's. So after a year together, they both went their separate ways mutually, and James Diamond endured heartbreak for the first time in his life. While not nearly bad as Kendall had been, James definitely felt and many times had announced that he would never have a girlfriend again so he wouldn't have to undergo this type of pain, seeing it worthless since he was alone. But after a few weeks, James was right back at the pool, being captivated by more Palm Wood's beauties and staying single, before giving Bridget a chance eight months ago. Now, James was infatuated with the tall, brunette with the dark green eyes and fire red lips, and the boys hadn't seen him happier before. While James was definitely not the type of boyfriend Kendall was, he cared about Bridget immensely, and as the months marched on, started to care about her more than himself. James Diamond, as much as he hated to admit, was slowly falling in love.

"If my dad was here, he would put that to shame," Kendall chortled out, crossing his leg over his knee as he sat back in his chair. Kendall sighed and watched Carlos' dad dance with Gabriela, and his eyes went over to his mother, who sat there looking at the happy couple dance with her blue eyes calm and peaceful, shining like the top of the ocean on a summer day. Kendall knew that the second she had set her eyes on the married couple, that Kris instantly came to her mind. How they had danced at their wedding, how they had lived their lives together until he was taken away so suddenly.

The past four years had been rough for Kendall. After Stella left, his anger started coming back in small bits again. It had started in the kitchen with Kim, when Kendall hadn't put his dish in the dishwasher and he freaked out on her, and led to him nearly attacking someone in the lobby of the Palm Woods for bumping into him and cursing him out. Kim thought therapy might work again, she thought his friends would work, Carlos, James and Logan all began to conspire to help Kendall through this difficult time for him, but then as it had in the past, it just seemed to fizzle out over time. No one could explain it, not even Kendall, but it seemed like anytime something that had him conflicted in his life, or something he just couldn't understand happened, he would lose it. His father's death, why Stella had done the things she had done.

Kendall then announced he wouldn't try to understand anything anymore.

That's when things turned around. Kendall began to forget about Stella, more and more each day. He did his best to imagine her with someone else, safe and happy, not living on the streets with two dollars to her name. He hoped that she had warm food, a roof over her head, and still kept the beautiful smile plastered on her face. All he could do was hope for her, knowing that he couldn't have her.

There were nights when Kendall cried himself to sleep early on, praying and wishing that Stella would come back to him, and they would fall into each others arms and live happily after, but Kendall knew that would never happen. Even if he found Stella, nothing would be right between them, and the both knew it.

About a year and a half after Stella left, Big Time Rush was gearing up for their first nation tour. Kendall remembered getting on the tour bus saying good-bye to Jo. Jo and him still remained friends after their dating debacle, Jo getting the full story from Camille about Stella. As much as Jo wanted to go out on another date with Kendall, she knew he was recovering from his break up with his one true love, and she didn't want to compete with it.

Then, she couldn't hold it in anymore, as he left for the tour. Jo nuzzled into his plaid shirt and Kendall kissed the top of her hair as she melted into him. She then swept her head up to his, and gave him a passionate good-bye kiss. Kendall hadn't been kissed in a year and a half, since Stella had left, and it seemed foreign to him. However, he needed a new slate, so when he held Jo's face in his hands as they kissed outside the tour bus, they both knew when he returned they would be something.

And they were.

Kendall and Jo dated for two years before she landed a role in New Zealand as star of the Chauncey Jackson movies, and had to move there for three years to complete them. Kendall didn't want to break up with Jo, and Jo didn't want to break up with Kendall, but there was no way a relationship was going to work. Big Time Rush was getting ready for their first world tour, and Jo would be shooting almost everyday. There was no time for each other, so both parties agreed if it was meant to be, things would fall into place.

Jo began to fall for her co-star, and Kendall slowly began to not care more and more, as long as she was happy.

And now here Kendall night sat, at Carlos' father's wedding, with an empty seat for his plus one beside him.

Not caring one bit.

Kendall heard the song that had slowly began to emit from the radio.

_I remembered what you wore on the first day,  
you came into my life and I thought hey  
you know this could be something._

Two is Better Than One by Big Time Rush.

All the boys smirked and looked at each other, their eyes immediately falling on Kendall who sighed and looked down, closing his eyes tightly. He remembered writing this for Stella, right after they had made love in the cabin behind the Tregger's house. He remembered the electricity he had felt from that night, and how he had spit the song out onto the page. Who knew that it would be Big Time Rush's biggest hit, staying at the top of the billboard for thirty weeks straight. It seemed every time the song played, Kendall would become more worked up about Stella to himself, but as the music flowed through his ears, it would take along the part of his brain that loved her, and slowly remove it from his mind.

The boy's eyes lingered on Kendall as he turned to them and sighed, rolling his green eyes.

"I'm fine, relax," he told them, Logan, James and Carlos all giving each other a look and smile. "Did you put this on the playlist?" he asked them.

Carlos, Logan and James all nodded no. "The DJ has all his own music," Carlos told Kendall with a confused smile. Kendall nodded and sighed. Why was a song from three years ago playing at a wedding now, no matter how popular it was? Kendall sat back in his chair, and turned his head to the window with a smile, looking at how the black sky was alit with stars, looking more beautiful and elegant than ever seen before. Kendall sighed, looking over at his mother once more and the calm and peace on her face, and closed his eyes tightly.

"Meant to be," he murmured between soft lips.

* * *

"Stella, two people just sat down at your table," Mickey, another waitress, told the blonde, running back into the kitchen.

"Okay, I got it," Stella told the girl, slipping a pen behind her ear and making her way back through the steel doors to the restaurant. Stella looked out the two front windows to the busy South Carolina streets, and made her way over to the corner table where she saw four twenty year old guys sitting down, laughing. She took a deep breath and walked up to them with a smile, trying to seem her friendliest.

"Hi, boys. I'm Stella and I'll be your server today. Can I start you off with some drinks?" she asked. The boys began to order, and Stella couldn't help but place the boys of Big Time Rush in their shoes. There were two brunettes, a blonde with piercing green eyes, and a raven haired one, and the fact that they echoed Kendall and his friend's gave Stella a small shudder. She took down the drink orders, and slowly began to walk back to the kitchen, passing the counter and the radio that was on the ledge, which had been playing all day.

Stella began to walk slower as she heard the familiar three chords of the song Kendall had sang to her that Christmas. She knew that this was nearing the end of the song, as Kendall's solitary voice began to grow louder and louder with each step she got closer.

_Two, is better than one…._

Stella smiled and closed her eyes, leaning on the counter and putting her order pad down. She was instantly brought back to everything about Kendall Knight, and couldn't help but feel butterflies when she thought about their kisses, and caresses. She often wondered about Kendall, and what had become of his personal life the past four years. She knew he wasn't married or dating anyone at the moment, but she wondered what he felt inside of him, through his bones. She wondered if he saw a blonde would he think it's her, or if he looked up at the stars, he would think of her and her beauty, or if he was still dealing with stuff from his father's death. Stella wondered a lot, all the time, but wondering wouldn't help her. She would always love Kendall Knight, she didn't have to wonder about that.

Stella sighed as the song ended, and Kendall's voice faded from her mind and her ears, as she opened her icy blue eyes, which had tears in them. A big smile spread across her face, she slowly began to walk back into the kitchen, not wanting to hear the absolute end of the song as the radio announcer began to talk to no one.

_And that was a throwback for all you couples out there, Two is Better Than One by Big Time Rush._

**Okay. Wow guys. Hooked is officially ****done****. **

**I'm gonna keep this short.**

**Thank you for everything, to the entire fandom. Those who reviewed, those who loved the story, those who hated it, those who waited for Saturday updates like it was their job.**

**I know this story was all over the place, I know it has flaws, I know it's chaotic, I know some things don't tie together, I know that you may have hated/liked Stella too much, I know this story is ****EXTREMELY**** flawed, but I'm still happy with it and the way it ended. I hope you are too. If not, I apologize. **

**Waterwicca – **you are the only reason this story exists. You are an amazing, wonderful, beautiful person and by FAR the best writer in the Big Time Rush Fandom, in my opinion. You are wonderful, your story is wonderful, and you are such a role model and inspiration to me. You take so much time and effort into PTS, and everyone knows it. Your one shots, two shots, and everything you write is just truly amazing. Thanks for being my first real friend on here :D I love you to pieces, and you will never, **ever**, know how much I look up to you, and how extremely talented and wonderful you are :D Love you!

**Rattle-my-KAGE **- *read waterwicca's post above* You are the behind the scenes of PTS. You're wonderful just like your sister, and thank you for everything you have done for me, I really appreciate it. You are lovely.

**So-complicated **– you are an amazing writer and I am SO glad you got into the fandom with **Something to Sleep To.** It is an amazing story and you are an amazing writier. You were by FAR one of my favorite reviewers, and you were always so enthusiastic about everything that I threw your way. I enjoyed our conversations about Kendall, and the rest of BTR and I can't wait to read more from you. You truly are amazing.

**Christinainwonderland **– you are only here because of me ;D But seriously you are amazing, and I am glad to have inspired you. You're writing improves more every time I read it, and I think you're beyond perfect for writing screenplays. You are definitely one of the best writers on here, and you deserve credit for it. Can't wait to see more from you!

**LIV3xLAUGHxL0V3 **– you are indeed an amazing KenJo writer, and I love all your stories. Your constant reviews always make me smile, and I can't wait to read more from you. You really are an amazing idea giver, you've helped a lot with this story in ways you don't even know. Thanks for everything you've done for me :D

**Fearless523 –** thanks for reviewing everything I have written. It means a lot to me, and I'm glad you stuck with it all the way through, even though it began to lose some edge.

**Fanglover23 **– thanks for always putting a smile on my face with your reviews :D I like how you pick out certain things and comment on them, it makes me really happy. I will miss you!

**Loveyoualways21 **– you are just amazing :D

**I also wanna thank beMINE29 and HonestAnon (I might know who you are ;D) for their reviews.**

**And to Left4Hunger, jchamberz, Anonymous Skrtle my most recent reviewers, and everyone else who reviewed since November! **

**Thanks for pushing me to 500.**

**Unfortunately, I won't be posting any new stories, and will be leaving the fandom in the fall. Memories of a Lifetime and Bittersweet will be wrapped up in the next few weeks.**

**I love you all, and thanks for everything.**

**Surfergal23 :D**


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